Field of Green turned Red

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:26 am

Had a red day yesterday. We went out to dinner with a couple, and truly I did not want to go.. I decided on my dinner and ate, and stopped pretty much with 3/4's left...then my mind said one more bite, oh you can just do an N day on weekend to make up for it, yada yada. I ate until it was gone...so what do I do when I get home I have some chocolate..not much 2 tiny squares and in bit a large bagel...I WAS not hungry..

I kept thinking okay, here ya go again...the diet head started picking on me. I know the inner dialogue one has with oneself can be really cruel. So I kept thinking just another diet, etc.

I know this is not true as I'm not gaining and for the most part I'm not in the diet head.

First month I had no red, just a field of green on my habitcal. Second month 3 red's making a mess of the place.

So today I'll be working on forgiving myself, with the thoughts that August is fast approaching and I can work on a field of green again.

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:05 pm

Hi Debra,

Why did eating the whole plate make it an s day? Or did I get the wrong end of the stick? Only it seems like you gave in to a faliure without having actually failed.

Would just like to say that you are someone who seems to be doing really well over all and that a fail here and there is just proof that we're human and we're learning.

Good luck with your big August field of green

Sarah

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:31 pm

Your field of green didn't all turn red. What you've got is a field of green with a few red spots. July might have had as many as 21 N days (depending on how many NWS days you had). You probably succeeded on more of them than you failed on.

Don't compare your performance to perfection. You can't achieve perfection, and neither can anybody else. Compare your performance instead to how you were eating before you started No S. Your performance now to your performance then is a realistic and useful comparison. Your performance now to some Platonic ideal of performance is not.

You've also had a firsthand lesson in why trading S days (saying you can do a weekend N day to make up for what you're doing now) is not a good idea. Think about that.

You've had a month of all green days before. Think about what was different this month, and what, if anything, you could have done about it. The answer might be "nothing". Sometimes shit just happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. But sometimes failures can be a lesson on how to handle the same situation the next time you find yourself in it.

Or you might find a pattern to when your failures tend to happen, and know when you need to be extra vigilant. I learned that my failures tend to happen in weeks when I have NWS days, and particularly when I have an N day between two S days. I know now that I have to be extra careful when that happens.

keriamon · Post by **keriamon** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:54 pm

You're allowed to eat your entire plate--regardless if you are full or not. That was not a failure, and that did not require a "make up" day later.

Just because you didn't do as well as you would have like to have done (stopping when you're full) doesn't mean you failed at the diet. Room for improvement, yes, but failure no.

You said you didn't really want to go out to eat. Is that because you didn't feel like going out, or didn't feel like going out with this couple? What you did was probably a stress reaction to being somewhere or with someone that you didn't want to be with. Then this stress got compounded by the feeling of failure and guilt and you wound up emotionally eating something that WAS a no-no.

But you have to drop all ideas of "making up" failures later on. Reinhard is against this. A lot of people are against this. To borrow a maxim from FlyLady, "You are not behind. Jump in wherever."

Each day is a new day and a new chance to fulfill your goals. You can't make up for past days or build up credit for future days; there is only today.

Or, to quote Yoda (which is very Buddhist): "All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. What he was doing." Just look at today.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:09 pm

I'm proud of you for calling this a failure.

You're understanding when too much is too much.

Good for you!

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:03 pm

Hi..thanks for all the replies.

Problem really was 1) did not want to be with this couple

2) my normal plate is 9 inch that I use at home, the one at the restaurant was not, so I was trying to leave a little for consideration I already fulfilled my plate size for me,
3) oh ya I had nuts when I got home as well

So really it was a red day, if I would have stopped where I felt was time..once I cross the line I always seem to throw in the towel..not good I know..

But today is a new day for sure.....

I truly think all of you's are great and such a help in times of trouble..

sheepish · Post by **sheepish** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:12 pm

I had a month earlier this year (March) that was just AWFUL. I had 10 failures and 11 successes. I now see it as the turning point for me - I've tried No S a few times without persisting - but I just kept on marking and moving on and no month has been anything like that awful since then. I think absolutely key is not trying to "make up for" failures at the weekend - I think that's why I've stuck to No S this time where I haven't before.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:35 pm

I try to avoid "just one more" situations, because I know I tend to overeat in those situations (OK, "will damn near inevitably overeat"). My strategy is to avoid such situations if at all possible. I try to make clear rules for when I have to stop eating, rules where you're either following it or you're not, and which one it is is obvious. I don't do well with nuance or shades of gray, in diet questions.

My restaurant rule is one entree, no appetizers, sides, or desserts. If the meal does not fit that paradigm, you order something that costs about the same as one entree. If I want a piece of bread, or a chip with salsa, I have to wait till my entree comes, and put it on the plate with my entree before I can eat it. (Yes, really.)

I don't worry about the size of the plate, since I have trouble with spatial reasoning and can't look at a plate and know its diameter or how it compares in size to another plate without measuring it (I'm usually miles off when I try).

I also try not to eat out very often, not more than 2 dinners and 3 lunches a week, and no breakfasts out.

One suggestion I've heard, if you don't want to eat everything that's on your plate, is to mark off half of it (or some other fraction) before you start eating, and say you're going to take that home. You can ask them to wrap up half of it for you before you start eating, if that's what you need to do to keep from eating it. If I get to the point where I feel a need to cut back on what I eat in restaurants, I'll probably do something like that. It gives you a clear rule on when, exactly, you need to stop eating, which is what I need. My "eat till you're full/satisfied" instinct is clearly broken, and cannot be relied on, so I need clear rules that I can't talk my way out of.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:37 pm

I'm really excited to have a clean slate for August..especially with adding the no-weighing for a month...who knows what will happen when I do weigh on Sept 1 if I don't lose weight

, I hope I won't let it get me down.

Just thinking out load..

p.s. Nicest of the Damned, that is great how well you do when you eat out..I like that concept very much and will try it next time I go out to dinner....

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:49 pm

Reread the responses..needed some encouragement.

Clarica · Post by **Clarica** » Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:19 pm

You're on the right track if you're keeping a calendar-- it's easier to figure out why you have a field of red if you notice that you do!

When I slip up its because of one of these things:

temptation
careless meals/missed my multivitamin
not enough 'treats'

With temptation being the clear front runner, in my own mind. But they all have an affect!

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Aug 21, 2011 12:49 pm

Clarica wrote:With temptation being the clear front runner, in my own mind. But they all have an affect!

You are not kidding about temptation. I went grocery shopping today and did not put one snack in my cart. If I want something this weekend I'll go buy something special. Less around, less to call me

.

I think for me the second is making a choice for a meal that I really didn't want but ate as that was my current choice...I need to visit what I'm going to do next time I cooked something I really didn't want..

Thanks for stopping by.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:08 pm

Try to be a little easy on yourself while you figure these situations out. Reinhard is a fan of Brian Wansink who has shown over and over that just about everybody it susceptible to many eating cues out there. Doesn't mean you're weak.

I like the packing up some of the food before I start. It removes it from sight; seeing the food is powerful, and more powerful for some of us!

When I'm with the right people, it's easier, too. My date the other night was very happy that I wanted to split an appetizer and one meal with him; he ordered a cup of soup, too. I had half a large crab cake, and one third of a flounder dinner that included a baked potato and veggies. It was the perfect amount of food for me and no leftovers sitting there to entice me. He was impressed with how good he felt with just enough food and I think he was happy with the bill, too.

We've been making crazy choices in these situations for years. It will likely take awhile to have them work for us well consistently. You are definitely closer than you were three months ago!

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:53 am

oolala53 wrote:Try to be a little easy on yourself while you figure these situations out. Reinhard is a fan of Brian Wansink who has shown over and over that just about everybody it susceptible to many eating cues out there. Doesn't mean you're weak.....We've been making crazy choices in these situations for years. It will likely take awhile to have them work for us well consistently. You are definitely closer than you were three months ago!

Wow, you are so right here...I'm definitely closer no making my life sane...I can't believe all the years of diet head...just can't believe it..waking up from a coma or something..

Your dinner sounded wonderful and sounds like you impressed your date!

As always thanks for your encouragement...I'll get there, I will...