Episode 87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
A more nuanced approach to systematically moderating alcohol (and other substances)
https://everydaysystems.com/podcast/episode/87/
This started out being a draft glass ceiling update chapter for the book, but morphed into a more expansive reconsideration. I think it'll still work for the compendium (starting to feel a little daunted by the scope of that project!).
Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
Dear Reinhard!
Thank you for this new episode. I listened to it twice. And one question keeps popping up: why did you decide for two glasses as the ceiling? Have you experimented with different amounts of glasses? Especially when you reduced drinking to only S-Days wasn't it tempting to then raise the ceiling to let's say 3 glasses?
I do not only ask out of curiosity. I think it might be interesting to mention "why two glasses" when you put together your ebook. But the actual reason for asking is that I cannot really decide for a certain amount of glasses / define my ceiling. I don't drink more often than twice per week but I don't limit it to S-Days. Sometimes a Friday is fitting with my life for example. But I often think 3 glasses is the right amount to get enough of a buzz or get pleasantly drunk or how to say it. But somehow I am not so happy with this more intuitive approach because often after the 3rd glass a 4th one seems to be a good idea. And the next day I feel depleted, not rested, out of energy. It doesn't get dramatic, I rarely drink more than 4 glasses. But still I have the feeling I should decide for a number and stick with it. In my mind it is a bit like thinking about sweets before No S (Is it enough? / Not today! / Only one more peace etc.). I love the freedom of not having to think about this any more.
What are your ideas on that?
And by the way: someone who openly speaks about his anxiety can't have so much of that left. I consider this quite courageous!!
All the best and thanks in advance for your answer!
Stefan
Thank you for this new episode. I listened to it twice. And one question keeps popping up: why did you decide for two glasses as the ceiling? Have you experimented with different amounts of glasses? Especially when you reduced drinking to only S-Days wasn't it tempting to then raise the ceiling to let's say 3 glasses?
I do not only ask out of curiosity. I think it might be interesting to mention "why two glasses" when you put together your ebook. But the actual reason for asking is that I cannot really decide for a certain amount of glasses / define my ceiling. I don't drink more often than twice per week but I don't limit it to S-Days. Sometimes a Friday is fitting with my life for example. But I often think 3 glasses is the right amount to get enough of a buzz or get pleasantly drunk or how to say it. But somehow I am not so happy with this more intuitive approach because often after the 3rd glass a 4th one seems to be a good idea. And the next day I feel depleted, not rested, out of energy. It doesn't get dramatic, I rarely drink more than 4 glasses. But still I have the feeling I should decide for a number and stick with it. In my mind it is a bit like thinking about sweets before No S (Is it enough? / Not today! / Only one more peace etc.). I love the freedom of not having to think about this any more.
What are your ideas on that?
And by the way: someone who openly speaks about his anxiety can't have so much of that left. I consider this quite courageous!!
All the best and thanks in advance for your answer!
Stefan
Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
Hi Stefan,'
I'm glad it resonated with you!
That's a good question about the 2...
4 I've heard as the threshold for a "binge," so I didn't want that. One felt too paltry. And three (if actually practiced daily) would also have bumped into other published thresholds I'd read for alcoholism. I think I also wanted some buffer, knowing that I wouldn't be perfect in my compliance. At the time I still actually went out sometimes past midnight at which point 2 more drinks would "unlock." If it were 3+3=6 that could have gotten dangerous.
I also know the way my sneaky mind works, all the mileage it can get out of a mere glass... two enormous glasses can already be too much.
For a person with a different relationship to alcohol, three might really be fine. Three "standard" drinks (say 3 5% alcohol 12oz/.33 liter beers) is probably the sweet spot for a couple times a week drinking. But knowing me, I'm going to make that 3 pints of 7% (etc.), and so better to keep it two...
Curious to hear where you wind up with this. Keep me posted!
Reinhard
I'm glad it resonated with you!
That's a good question about the 2...
4 I've heard as the threshold for a "binge," so I didn't want that. One felt too paltry. And three (if actually practiced daily) would also have bumped into other published thresholds I'd read for alcoholism. I think I also wanted some buffer, knowing that I wouldn't be perfect in my compliance. At the time I still actually went out sometimes past midnight at which point 2 more drinks would "unlock." If it were 3+3=6 that could have gotten dangerous.
I also know the way my sneaky mind works, all the mileage it can get out of a mere glass... two enormous glasses can already be too much.
For a person with a different relationship to alcohol, three might really be fine. Three "standard" drinks (say 3 5% alcohol 12oz/.33 liter beers) is probably the sweet spot for a couple times a week drinking. But knowing me, I'm going to make that 3 pints of 7% (etc.), and so better to keep it two...
Curious to hear where you wind up with this. Keep me posted!
Reinhard
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ladybird30
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Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
Hi Reinhard, fascinating as usual, although I am somewhat of a bystander as my drinking days were over 40+ years ago (due to unpleasant physical side effects from even very small amounts of alcohol). I am naturally an abstainer rather than a moderator, but I still have to come to grips with my internet and smart phone usage. As you point out, can't be a total abstainer there, not if I want a social life.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right
Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
ladybird, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm so glad you got something out of this episode even if this particular problem isn't much of an issue for you.
As you noticed, it does have some elements in common with other problems, and could be useful in thinking about them. If you haven't read Anna Lembke's Domapine nation, I highly recommend it for wrestling with all kinds of potentially addictive stimuli, maybe even especially for stimuli you might not have even considered potentially addictive.
Reinhard
As you noticed, it does have some elements in common with other problems, and could be useful in thinking about them. If you haven't read Anna Lembke's Domapine nation, I highly recommend it for wrestling with all kinds of potentially addictive stimuli, maybe even especially for stimuli you might not have even considered potentially addictive.
Reinhard
Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
This was such an amazing and affirmative read for me. I too suffer from anxiety and started meds at age 40. I hide this from people, and really appreciate seeing you be so open about it.
Re: Podcast #87: Variable-Height Glass Ceiling
Sinnie,
I'm so glad it resonated with you and thank you for letting me know!
For me, all my various "glass ceilings" are mostly, at the end of the day, attempts to deal with anxiety -- or rather with my muddled, sometimes dysfunctional attempts to cope with it. It's messy and often embarrassing, but I think I'm making progress in accepting the raw material I have to work with and making the best of it.
Good vibes to you in your struggles from a comrade in arms,
Reinhard
I'm so glad it resonated with you and thank you for letting me know!
For me, all my various "glass ceilings" are mostly, at the end of the day, attempts to deal with anxiety -- or rather with my muddled, sometimes dysfunctional attempts to cope with it. It's messy and often embarrassing, but I think I'm making progress in accepting the raw material I have to work with and making the best of it.
Good vibes to you in your struggles from a comrade in arms,
Reinhard