feeling overwhelmed by responsibility

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feeling overwhelmed by responsibility

Post by gingerpie » Tue Jun 02, 2015 10:21 am

I'm really terrible at completing certain responsibilities in a timely fashion. Then they pile up. Then I get what I call "stress tummy". Plus, it's a problem because they are tasks that really do need to get done. For example: our driveway is a nightmare. It's so bad I've started advising our kids' friends to not drive up. My regular lane guy is too busy to come which means I have to find a new guy. I hate this and I'm procrastinating for two reasons. 1) I know that it's going to be crazy expensive. 2) I know that 50% Of the people I call are going to try to cheat me in some way and it's going to be exhausting to identify who and how. This is just one example. I have a summer to-do list with about 15 items on it. My problem areas seem to be getting started and getting re-started when a project gets stalled for any reason.

Actually, as I write I'm realizing it's more of a feeling of resentment that these things are taking my time and money and they cause so much stress and I just don't want to deal with the stress so I'm avoiding.

How do you get past the "But I don't want to deal with it? " mentality?

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Post by eschano » Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:32 am

Hello gingerpie. Oh, yeah, you are talking to a master procrastinator here!

One tip my friend gave me, which I find useful is to do the easiest one first, then a hard one, then an easier one, etc. For me it's about building momentum.

The other thing my husband does, which seems to help him: decide which ones are urgent and then have one to up to three tasks per week, no more. Less stressful for him that way.
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Post by oolala53 » Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:43 pm

I am in a similar boat. I feel that nearly every project I've had done at my house has never just solved the problem without more problems, though not necessarily worse ones. In some ways, I should probably never have been a home owner. Then again, as of now, I haven't had any of the big nightmare problems that some people have. But I've also thought that after I retire, if I decide I want to move, I may just rent out my place here and rent in the new spot.

This being an adult sure has its drawbacks!
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Post by ironchef » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:32 pm

First, I totally relate to this, and I offer up my favourite blog on the subject (language warning): This is why I'll never be an Adult

Secondly, a strategy I use to get big, stressful tasks done. Take the overall task that makes me anxious (e.g. "get driveway sorted" or "complete tax return") off my list. Work out the next single step task that I need to take towards the overall task, e.g. "Call Company X on number Y and ask for a quote" and put that item on my list. Complete that item. Feel like a winner :) Then work out the next small task and do that, and so on.

Finally, I always try doing the trickest, nastiest tasks first thing in the morning on a day I've decided. I have the most energy at the start of a day, and then if I procrastinate the rest of the day I've already achieved something. I got this idea from the old saying about eating the frog: First thing in the morning, eat one live frog - then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day. So, pick out the one thing that really makes your skin crawl, pick a day, then get up and eat that slimy frog. Once you've choked him down, reward yourself with something fun or relaxing you've been putting off "until the chores are done".

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