Clarebear's daily check in

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:25 pm

haha keep forgetting so many of you are from USA!
yep its a chocolate bar by cadbury's

and thank you

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:41 am

Hi clarebear

I can relate. I still have shaky moments too. Today my daughters were eating gummy bears & they looked so good. Later they were having pigs in a blanket & they just smelled so good. The urge isn't overwhelming or anything but things definitely look or smell good throughout the day that I just have to remind myself I can have later.

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 10:33 am

feeling better today, although wanted my dinner at 11am (I had it at this time yesterday) but I'm making myself wait until 12!! eating earlier is always a disaster for later in the afternoon so I'm having a cup of tea then I can eat soon!

jw · Post by jw » Thu Oct 03, 2013 12:04 pm

Good for you, Clarebear -- you posted here instead of giving in to the snack! Glad you are feeling better!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 3:14 pm

Few hours until the weekend!
Looking forward to cake!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 8:10 pm

Yay! What kind of cake??

All I can think about is the gummy bears that tempted me earlier in the week. So boring but oh well.

Enjoy your cake!

Linda

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:23 pm

Cake hooray

enjoy. You have been doing brilliantly.
Tessy

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:48 pm

Taking today as an s day, got a really bad headache and feel lousy and no energy so listening to my body!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:32 pm

Seems like a good plan clarebear & I hope you feel better soon!

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:28 am

thanks Linda!
feel a little better today

Only difference to my day yesterday was 4 smaller meals rather than 3 so was ok

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:11 pm

Glad you are feeling bit better, hang in there, when we feel unwell, or stressed, or down it Is so hard not to fall back into old habits. You have done so well

Tessy

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:36 am

Great job clarebear!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:01 am

thanks guys!

Planning on sandwich and soup for dinner, it's so cold outside! looking forward to my first S event on Friday, tasting our wedding meal food!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:00 am

also this is my 10th week on NoS, I can't believe it!!
Really committed to having a tame S weekend. Need to try and tweak a few things, like instead of having a large bar of chocolate on a saturday, have a standard size bar. I feel I'm ready to do that now!

jw · Post by jw » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:20 am

what a fun S event coming up! Enjoy it -- you'll have the best (the first bite) of the best. And congrats on your ten weeks, clarebear!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:22 am

thanks JW

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:26 am

gosh, I've had exactly the same thoughts about my S days! To have one treat on both days and no snacks. I just can't have a weekend like I had last weekend - I was totally f*ct and felt depressed until yesterday! Not real depression, but a sugar-induced depression. I listened to Reinhard's podcast on the 'no solitary snacking' mod and didn't really understand it.
Anyway, I hope to go for a normal size chocolate bar down the road but at the moment they look so teeeeeny!

Good luck! You're my inspiration!!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:44 am

After feeling crappy for 2 weeks I have got the gym with my trainer tonight, still feeling bit rough but want to get back into my exercise routine.
Got australia in 9 weeks so now I have the habits in place I want to start eating healthier foods on my plates to improve my bikini bod! I used to be very good at eating my 5 a day, sometimes even more but recently I am rubbish, sometimes only eating 1 a day!
I'm not sure if it's something to do with my eating problems a few years ago, I ate A LOT of fruit and vegetables and somehow I associate it with then, I just don't know. Need to start introducing them back into my diet regularly!
going to start with eating at least 2 a day and go from there.
Will also improve my skin condition for the wedding so more than 1 reason to start!

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:34 am

Hooray, Australia not far off now, you will have such a brilliant time, and get that fruit and veggies habit going because Oz is the most perfect place to eat the most wonderful fruit and veg. I was soooo healthy when I was there. Sometimes when I don't feel like freggies i put them on my plate then eat them first before anything else while I am still hungry, works me for

Hang in there
Tessy

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:42 am

think thats what I'm going to do tessy

eat them first then eat the other stuff. They are always a last option and it shouldn't be that way!

I can't wait for oz, spent 3 months there a few years ago (was meant to be a year but it didn't work out) my fiance lived there for 18months too but then immigration law changed and he had to come back (which I'm glad he did otherwise we'd never have met!!) so we are so excited to be going there together!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:25 am

I love Oz! My brother lived in Sydney for years and I was trying to move there for a long time but gave up in the end. He's in San Fransisco now anyway.

I totally get the whole fruit and vegetables reminding you of the eating disorder days, Clarebear. How about starting with veggies that you find easy to eat? One of my fave meals is pasta (brown rice spaghetti) with spinach wilted through it and loads of pesto and a bit of parmesan. And pine nuts too if I'm feeling extravagant. You barely notice the spinach. Or I have broccoli in place of spinach - very well cooked - and it sort of melts in. I also buy frozen packets of roasted vegetables from Ocado...all you do is tip them onto a baking tray, add a bit of salt and roast for 30 mins. Honestly, they are delicious. I tend to have them with pasta and pesto as well (can you see a pattern emerging here

)

Starting with a goal of 2 of your 5 a day is so sensible. Also, much kinder on your digestion to build up slowly...

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 10, 2013 11:11 am

that meal idea sounds yummy!!
I'm aiming to have 1 with dinnertime meal and one with my tea in the evening.

Also, definitely felt the difference today between breakfast and dinner. Had bagel and peanut butter today and having dinner at 12 instead of 11

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:05 pm

Can't believe I've caught another cold 2 days after I started to feel better!
Feeling peed off!
But. . . On the plus side, I would have probably binged when feeling this rubbish but now I live by nos I don't have that problem!
Hopefully this is the worst day and tomorrow I will feel better.
Had to Cancel wedding food tasting too

jw · Post by jw » Fri Oct 11, 2013 4:56 pm

Oh no!

Chicken soup with garlic time. Please take care of yourself, clarebear.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:08 pm

So frustrating! Isn't it great to not have to feel bad about your eating one top of the other stressful things you're dealing with at the moment?

*hugs* & feel better

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Fri Oct 11, 2013 10:40 pm

Urgh, poor you!! I've just recovered from a horrible 2-week coley fluy bug and tonight felt my glands up again..it's that pesky time of year!! Try to settle into it and not fight it, it'll make it go quicker...and well done for cancelling the food tasting. It'll be there when you're well again! Xx

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 7:34 am

thanks guys!!

Still feeling sniffly today but lot better than Friday and Saturday. My plan was to not go mad this weekend but I ate lots of sweets and choc and I am feeling it this morning. Not thinking about it too much though as I wasn't well, plus thats what S days are for if you need them, but MAN am I glad it's Monday. Feel all bloated

good eating and exercise today!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 7:50 am

also, 8 weeks til oz so really have to up my game!! Time for replacing some of the foods on my lunch time plate to fruits and veg and exercising monday-friday for at least half an hour!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 8:01 am

Urgh, I know how you feel. Feeling very fat today and hugely relieved it's a Monday!

You're doing so well Clarebear, try not to put too much pressure on yourself in the countdown to your wedding! Only do what you can which doesn't make you feel deprived!! I only say this because I think my S days this weekend were much tamer because I ate so well (not uber healthy) and satisfied a few non-sweet cravings on my N days. For me, bingeing is directly proportional to how much I'm trying to 'be good'. It's taken about 20 years to learn this!!

xx

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:44 am

Hang in there clarebear, you can do this. Good luck this week and enjoy your exercise, do something you like, not something that feels like a chore!!

Tessy

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:37 pm

Yay for Mondays!

Great idea to have fruits & veggies on your plate but make sure you have other yummy stuff on there too. You don't want to feel deprived & have it backfire on you. I like having a big apple on my plate that I can eat last & make my meal linger a little longer.

I'm really wanting to add exercise too. Mostly because I know I'll feel so much better if I do. Have a great day.

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:44 pm

Thanks Linda
Your posts always make me feel better!
Yep, I will make sure I have yummy things too, just really on a mission to include fruits and veg into my diet. Going to try and add them to each meal then they don't take up half my plate in 1 meal!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:45 pm

and thank you Tessy too, I appreciate your motivational messages

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:47 pm

and also Kookie! haha I hadn't scrolled all the way up to see all the comments
Thanks my fellow Noessers!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:30 am

Cold finally feels like it's going away, got a cough now which is always a sign of getting rid of my cold!!

Had a handful of raspberries with my egg and bagel this morning, 1 down, 4 to go! I know I said I was going to aim for 2 a day but I know I can do 5 if I try so that's what I'm aiming for!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:01 pm

Such a great idea to add a little fruit and veggies to each meal! I need to focus on that a bit more too.

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:49 am

feeling good today (positivity wise - still got my cold grrrr)
tried my bikini on yesterday, can definitely notice the difference. I am also a lot more in tune with myself, I am accepting my body shape the way it is, I am a pear so small on top and bigger legs and bum. I'm beginning to feel grateful for the shape I have been given-which I never thought would happen! Even if I remain the size I am now, this is fine, more interested in 'fine tuning' rather than losing sizes. Each day is another step in the right direction. and I am so thankful.

Because of my cold I have not felt like doing much exercise at all in the last couple of weeks. I have decided to go back to it slowly and just start walking and not over facing myself. I push myself to the limit sometimes and it's time to take a step back. So after work today, I'm doing a 30 minute powerwalk on the treadmill. With my trainer on Thursday so will work harder then but walking inbetween me thinks

Thank you to everyone who comments on my threads, I've never been on a forum before - I'm not on facebook as I can't stand it but here you are all lovely

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:20 am

Clarebear, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE what you wrote today....that is so powerful - you are accepting your shape and not prioritising weight loss! Hurray!! So inspiring. And I totally support your exercise plan for the week, especially the walking - walking is so under-rated and the great thing about it is that you can do it even if you don't feel 100% because it's relatively gentle.

I'm so excited about your new view of yourself - after all, there is nothing sexier than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Great that you're also noticing the differences too though since doing NoS;-)

xx

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:30 am

thanks Kookie

this is the only place i feel (apart from with my hubby to be) that I can be excited and talk about nos, like others i keep it to myself as when you tell people whatever they are doing is always better and gets 'better' results

NOS IS AMAZING!! WOOHOO!!

and you're right about the walking

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:18 pm

Clarebear you are a star, this is really working for you, on your body but more importantly in your head. Walking is a brilliant exercise. Today I walked in the rain, felt good! As you know walking in the uk in winter can be a bit of a challenge! Good you have a trainer and treadmill. But soon you will be in Oz

walking in sunshine amid the beautiful scenery. Bliss!!
Tessy

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:50 am

Thank you Tessy

and yes I can't wait to walk in the sunshine!

Really enjoyed my walk last night, I worked up a sweat and my legs really felt it so I am pleased

I am very lucky as I have a free gym at work and they have a trainer who comes in twice a week and it's all free so I feel very lucky for that!

Got my food tasting for wedding tomo night, so glad I am feeling so much better! Also pleased that I don't have to worry that it's not an S day as we can use S events without feeling like we have gone off track. This plan is GENIUS

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:29 am

Yay! You have your wedding tasting! That sounds like SO much fun. This plan really is genius - do you think Reinhard even knew how clever he was being when he invented it????

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:46 pm

Yay Clarebear I'm so happy NoS is working for you on so many levels. It's crazy how much our disordered eating effects us. Feeling constantly at odds with something so basic to our well being as eating, really tears apart at our self confidence.

Kookie: I definitely don't think Reinhard had any clue how helpful his plan would be to those of us with damaged relationships to eating. Luckily for us it was a happy by-product of his common sense approach--yay! I'm so pleased that you guys are discovering this at a young age. It will spare you many painful years!

Enjoy your tasting clarebear!

Linda

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:06 pm

I'm not THAT young, Linda!! Almost 38 and still not ready for a serious relationship

NoS is helping though because I don't feel ashamed of what I'm doing with food anymore...Goodness, I'm such a zealot after such a short time (but did try it a year ago but without getting involved on the forum). xx

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:55 pm

Kookie wrote:I'm not THAT young, Linda!! Almost 38 and still not ready for a serious relationship NoS

Ha, Kookie, that's funny. I'm 37, too, and many of the posters here think I'm young! I love it.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:20 pm

Hehe sorry Kookie I wasn't sure! You are definitely young at heart though and I guess that's what comes across! Besides from where this 45 yr old sits, 38 is looking pretty young to me!:)

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:54 pm

You're both babies! I could be mom to both of you. And I don't think I'm "old." "Old" is always at least 20 years older than I am.

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:56 pm

Hehe this is a hilarious little thread! Sorry Clarebear, back to you!!

xx

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:09 pm

Haha just had a good giggle

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:56 am

wosnes wrote: "Old" is always at least 20 years older than I am.

Lol so true Wosnes!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:27 pm

You, ladies, are hysterical. Looks like I'm in good company (36 here)!!

And, Clarebear, you are killin it like usual! Have a wonderful weekend

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:32 am

did a 45 minute power walk after work last night, felt good after it!
I think this could be the key now, it's exercise but not killing myself 5 days a week exercise! Monday and Thursday are my hardcore days then walk the rest, think this will work

Still feel a bit blurgh from the weekend, why I've not really posted but I'm hoping this might make this weekend a little calmer. Evetythings green and I'm exercising so I've got nothing to feel blurgh about which is annoying!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:28 am

I've been really bleurgh this week too and very tired. Some weeks are just like that I guess. This pissy weather does NOT help.

Also, maybe for you NoS is just becoming so much a part of what you do so that initial zing from sticking to it may have started to go leaving you with just life stuff? I know that happens to me...whenever I start something new I get a real kick out of it and it distracts me from the humdrum of everyday life. Then when the novelty wears off, the glow that coloured everything is also gone. Just a theory.

Big hug!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:56 am

this could be true! also if i did have an initial loss then that may well have plateaued and the loss will be slower. to be honest even if I lose a pound a month I'm happy, time is passing anyway and I'm not in a rush anymore! I do think I need to somehow control my S days, looking forward to doing what we said this weekend! I would never restrict what I can have on an S day, just how much of it! like someone said on here the other day, think it was Linda, should buy a small bar of choc knowing that I can go and get another one later if I want. Buying that big bar of choc or crisps means EAT IT ALL!! haha. Just really don't want my good work during the week cancelled out at weekend but I know that it's habit that's important and it will all come in time

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:33 pm

I think that might have been JW but thanks for trying to give me the credit!:)

You're exercise plan sounds great and your S days will get better. If I recall you had some pretty good S days in the beginning? Hang in there through your bleurgh days (had to google that) and keep experimenting with your S days. It'll all come together in time.

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 6:11 pm

Haha it's more a sound than a word

Thanks Linda, love your posts, you're right I did have some good s days, I may be being too harsh on myself. It's mainly buying a big bar of chocolate and eating it all, just need to buy a smaller one

my snacking isn't really too bad on a days

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:30 pm

Hey Clarebear...me too, looking forward to our experiment this weekend... It's weird, I totally understand buying the big bars of choc/ice-crea,/crisps and polishing off the lot but how come I've had junk in my fridge and not been tempted to eat it on N days...? This makes me think that it's more to do with ME needing boundaries than with needing the food to be different if that makes sense.. This is actually a good thing. The power lies in us not in the food. I've tried the buying smaller bags thing and I find it so hard but somehow I think the plate thing will work because the truth is, it's never the food's 'fault', just our attitude towards it. Just my thought for the day;-) x

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:01 am

I know! we have choc in the fridge and I don't think about it at all during the week!

and you're so right about the power being with us. Also, I think that because we've both said to each other we will try this that may help if we get the urge to binge cos I don't want to log in on Monday with a sad face haha!!

Feeling in a good mood all round today, paid all the wedding off yesterday and we have done it all by ourselves which I'm very proud about

so we now have 6 months to relax and enjoy the build up!

Having chippy for dinner (lunch) today, can't wait! I enjoy it every Friday and never feel guilty, amazing feeling!

Good luck for this weekend too Kookie, we can do this!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:49 am

It's interesting isn't it? So it's not the big packets/availability of the stuff on weekends that is the problem at all! We can do this! And it's not a 'mod', it's just an experiment

I have quite a social weekend so I don't know how I'm going to do the experiment except possibly on Saturday night and maybe on Sunday evening but I'm out in the day on both days for lunch...but just having the intention has helped me feel calm and relaxed as well! I also listened to 'S Days Gone Wild' podcast which was so helpful.

Yay Clarebear for having your wedding all paid for! That must be such an amazing feeling!!! And YUM to a chippy dinner/lunch!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:54 am

haha I always write lunch after dinner so people know which meal I mean, I call my meals breakfast dinner tea with being from the North!

Yep, no mods, just an experiment of control

I have a social weekend too, don't worry. It's the alone bingeing at home we want to stop, if you're going out for a meal or having friends over just enjoy it

ooh I might have to have a listen to that podcast!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:22 am

Clarebear, yes have a listen! Let me know what you think. Made a lot of sense to me...what I took away from it was to really plan delicious treats in advance and to try to stick to the 3 meals a day structure (which our experiment does anyway!).

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:50 pm

Clarebear congrats on having your wedding paid off! That must feel pretty amazing. Now you just enjoy the rest of the process! Glad to see your mood is up too. Wedding planning can be stressful at times but in the end so worth it. I know you're day will be magical!

Enjoy your dinner! I'm just loving all this English lingo I'm learning. It seems so fancy somehow!

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:25 pm

thanks so much linda

haha that's so funny!

jw · Post by jw » Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:30 am

Ditto the congrats on having your wedding all paid for in advance. That's quite an accomplishment! I'll be watching Kookie's and your S day plan with great interest, Clarebear!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:18 pm

Thanks jw

Terrible day today

my first red day.
Steven was rushed to hospital as his back went but then on the way there they thought he had a hole in his lung, after a lot of waiting and worrying he was given the all clear and that it was just muscular.
So my first emotional binge happened, I'm just relieved more than anything and that has overtaken my guilty feelings for eating a big bar of chocolate.
Just got to mark it and move on!

jw · Post by jw » Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:40 pm

Gosh, what a scare! I am just glad all is well now -- a collapsed lung is nothing to fool around with!

As for red days -- once you finally have one behind you, it's just proof that you can succeed at No S without a perfect track record. Just go back to doing what works, you're fine!

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:36 pm

Oh dear clarebear. So glad it's ok! I would definitely have needed to comfort eat, and so would loads and loads of other folk. A normal reaction. The main thing is all is ok, now you will be straight back on track. You've got this covered

Tessy

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 10:10 pm

So sorry about the scare! Glad he's okay though.

This makes sense. Reaching for food every now & then (about once in 85 days in your case) when under extreme stress is reasonable and won't effect your overall goals. It's the daily (or several times daily) reach for food between meals that gets us in trouble.

So yep mark it & move on!

Linda

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:11 pm

My goodness, that does count as a terrible day! So glad he is OK.

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:33 am

Thanks everyone for your support!
It's so good to be able to come on here when bad days as well as good days come along

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:51 am

Clarebear! Oh my goodness, you poor thing! That was a proper trauma for you and in terms of stress, it's so hard not to turn to what has worked in the past when our backs are against the wall. Food was at some point in our lives - certainly for those with a history of eating disorder - a very powerful, successful coping strategy. We are learning new coping strategies now because we are not turning to food but in some situations, like the one you experienced, you didn't have any other tools to cope because it was a new and scary situation. So it's totally understandable that you would turn to a coping tool that you knew (food).

Mark it and move on as you say. I'm so glad he's okay! Big phew!

Also, I guess the danger of counting days is that when we get a red it can be demoralising. I'm not sure I'll count forever for this reason because to call it a failure does NOT reflect reality. You have been, and still ARE, doing so well.

big hug sweetie!!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:44 am

Thanks so much kookie
You're so lovely

True about the counting, it's only a number and I don't feel as bad as I thought I would, don't feel like I have failed and given up, it's a new day and I feel good

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:19 pm

Yay Clarebear! You have the right attitude. Im so afraid if I get a red day it's going to completely derail me. I may need to take a break from counting after my 100 days!

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 3:52 pm

After my first red day on Wednesday I had a second straight after

but I'm happy to report Friday was fine and I've had a very controlled couple of S days-not through deprivation but through just not feeling like bingeing. Feeling a lot better now and looking forward to Monday! Back to basics

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:06 am

Well done you Clarebear!

Sometimes, I find, that when I open the door to the emotional binge monster it takes a while to close it! But 2 days is pretty great going!

I'm afraid I had a rotten weekend - properly binged last night. Thank God for Monday!

jw · Post by jw » Mon Nov 04, 2013 2:08 pm

It's a new week, Clarebear -- and you have caught yourself. I learned a new mountain climbing term from automatedeating: when you catch yourself in the middle of a fall, it's called a self-arrest! Have a great week --

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 3:47 pm

thanks JW
Love this forum!!

Having a day where I feel like a hippo, never good but got gym after work so hoping that will help my mood

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 3:54 pm

also, I feel I am ready to reduce the amount I put on my plate at each meal. I have added a lot of things to my plate particularly at lunch time so that I feel safe, I now feel ready to just have the sandwiches and fruit and crisps rather than adding the lump of cheese, yogurt or other extras as a safety net. So far so good today, the habits are very well ingrained now so now that is sorted I figured I need to control my portion size a little

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 4:36 pm

Me again

! Yes, I hear you on the portion sizes. Good for you if you feel ready - that's awesome! You can do it!

Go slowly though so that you don't spook yourself

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:13 pm

Thanks kookie

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:54 am

I'm feeling the same way clarebear. I tend to put enough food on my plate to fill me up then I find myself adding a little more just in case.

Good in theory but I always end up eating whatever is there. I think I'm ready to try letting go of my safety net too. Love that we can experiment with the option of going back if it doesn't work out--so sane.

Good for you for getting back on track!

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:31 am

Thank you Linda

and yep, that's the best bit if we feel like we're not quite ready we can go back to what we were doing knowing that it's ok

Yesterday went well, I went back to cereal with fruit for my breakfast, a sandwich for lunch then spaghetti bolognaise for tea, my plan is to fill a smaller plate so mentally it feels the same

was ok hunger wise yesterday and I went to the gym so I am hopeful

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:58 am

what a difference a couple of N days makes! feel a lot better today

got body combat tonight, my knee however might put a stop to that, I have a recurring problem with it, ordered a knee support yesterday so hope it comes today!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:11 am

knee support came

had another rest night last night so I'm ready for Metafit tonight, feels a lot better today !

Feeling so much better than I did at weekend and beginning of week, my portion control is going really well and I am pleased

Just need to keep this up into the weekend. My plan to stop me bingeing is to plan a dessert that I love and have it after my evening meal. Chocolate is a mine field and although I shouldn't deprive myself I'd rather do that than binge. Once I have got out of those habits I can introduce it slowly again. I plan for my S days to be pretty much like my N days with a really yummy dessert after my third meal with the odd snack if say I go for coffee with a friend etc

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:00 pm

I'm so glad you're feeling better clarebear! Me too, it really is like day and night compared to how I feel at the beginning of the week - what's that all about do you think?? I'm always depressed, feeling fat and tired at the beginning of the week.

So pleased your portion control is going well! Yay

And I like the sound of your S day plan....sounds really good. I think that's pretty much what I'm going to strive for too especially because if I want something desserty or treaty, I usually want it at the end of the day anyway after supper. I'm okay during the day in general. And treats in the afternoon always ruin supper for me and then I always want a treat after supper anyway but feel yuck if I've had one in the afternoon already and blah blah blah! I'm going to experiment along the same lines this weekend.

Sorry for going on!!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:27 pm

I'm not sure, it's a complete contrast in feelings!
Feel amazing today

looking forward to a sane S weekend so I feel like this on Monday

you're not going on! That's exactly how my weekends have previously gone but not anymore, I can feel it!!

Need to remember this feeling now and how I will feel if I'm not sensible at weekend, never want to feel like that again!

finallyfull · Post by **finallyfull** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:25 pm

I'm right with you clarebare -- I am treating myself to two Sane days this weekend. I am indulging in feeling normal and healthy and to truly savoring a dessert after dinner.

I am treating myself to hunger before meals, too. That's something I greatly miss on S days, and I'm done with that! Hunger makes everything delicious!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:41 pm

Don't usually post on a weekend but I'm having a brill s day, had breakfast then body combat class then went to see my friend for a cup of tea and we had a good catch up then before I knew it it was 2.30pm! I ate my dinner when I got home, going to my mums for tea tomight, I asked if she would make me some of her gorgeous flapjacks, this was so I had something yummy to look forward to and wouldn't bail. So far so good!! Very pleased with how positive I feel and that I'm not undoing all my good work during the week

Kittykat150 · Post by **Kittykat150** » Sat Nov 09, 2013 7:17 pm

Awesome Clarebear!
Kat

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Sun Nov 10, 2013 12:43 am

Very inspiring Clarebear! Go for it! We're all cheering you on

Yum, I LOVE flapjacks...hope you enjoyed them! I need to rethink my weekends, they still aren't working for me but you are giving me hope that they will change with time.

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Sun Nov 10, 2013 1:32 pm

Thanks Kat and kookie:)

Today is going well too however I am having to resist the urge to
Go to the shop and buy sweet things! Think I might go buy a pudding to have after tea tonight then I have something to look forward to

jw · Post by jw » Sun Nov 10, 2013 4:02 pm

You're in charge of your S days now, Clarebear -- that's such an accomplishment! And it's not because the rules say you have to, it's because you yourself want a better Monday!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:06 am

thanks JW

Feel so much better today than last week! Saturday was brill, ate a bit more sweet stuff than I had planned on Sunday but it was by no means a binge!

Woohoo

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:41 am

Well done clarebear!!! Whoop whoop!!

Me too, I did pretty well too although my sweet treats (both after supper) were a bit large but huge improvement! You've really helped me clarebear! You're a star

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:46 am

ah good Kookie I am pleased!!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:40 am

feeling oh so good!!
my portion control is going so well and my exercise routine is up to scratch. Looking forward to seeing the effects of this after a few weeks of portion control and calm S days

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:20 pm

Wow you are doing so awesome!!! I'm working on removing my safety net from my plate too. Sometimes I can do it but other times I need it! Progress though.

Keep up the good work! When is your trip??

Linda

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Wed Nov 13, 2013 9:37 am

Thanks Linda
It's 4 weeks on Friday! so excited

did body combat again last night, am feeling it today, soooooore!! but in a good way.
Nice day off from exercise today then I'm off work tomorrow which will be an interesting N Day! It's all good practice!

clarebear · Post by **clarebear** » Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:53 am

coming on here because there is a cream filled jam donut in the fridge at work and I REAAALLLLYYY want one. NO NO NO!!!! first time I've had a bad craving on an N day for a long time!!

just got to push through. I'd eat it and then what?! I'd feel horrible!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:54 am

Stay strong Clarebear!!!! You can do it! You're right, SO not worth it! It's the weekend tomorrow - you can have a jam donut then! So much tastier on S days