Linda's daily check-in

ModBod · Post by **ModBod** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 7:48 pm

Hey Linda, I shall just add that I really enjoy your posts - because you post the eating, but also so much more. Reminds me there are real people here, and as others said, I wish the boards were a bit more active, but there we are - I have joined ten years or so after the whole thing started

I haven't been around as much either recently. It's a) been a busy time but also b) I haven't done so well on the eating side of things so then I don't check in on here, which probably means I slide further back, then don't want to admit all my failure etc etc! The cycle becomes a rather downward spiral.

And also time is limited, isn't it, and then I think 'man, I've just spent X amount of time on message boards when i could/should have been doing ....'

I like what you said to oolala53 about a bit more self acceptance. I really need to do that, just enjoy the here and now. But then that makes me want to throw in the controlled eating towel - even though I know I FEEL better when i eat in a controlled way! I seem to forever be finding myself excuses... Anyway, so I'm glad I checked in again this evening, after nearly a week. Maybe this will be the kick I need!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:08 pm

Hi Jen! You definitely shouldn't feel weird about not doing vanilla nos. I think most of us are doing mods in some form or another.

Also, you're right the one main meal/day is a little crazy. I actually broke down and had a normal sized lunch. I think it's time for a different approach. Maybe two main meals & get back to exercising. It was worth it though. Those last few pounds I lost, means I don't have to be so careful about what kinds of food I can eat. And I can have wine again--yay!!

Modbod: thanks for stopping by & for your sweet words. I totally agree with limited time it's hard to come on here. I should be cleaning my frig right now. 😊

I hope you will feel like you can post when you're struggling. I feel like the best time to post is when you're struggling in fact. So much good advice & support on here. I also find just writing it down can be very therapeutic but I also understand just wanting to wait it out. I hope things start to turn around for you!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 10:07 pm

Hi Linda,

Just wanted to say I'm still reading too & not avoiding you! I missed several days and had to catch up in the last day or two because my computer died. And I've been avoiding FB and as much election talk as possible. So much ugliness before, during, and after the election this year. So...I hear you! Like Jen, I wish we could all express our differences civilly! I don't feel hopeless so much as uncertainty. I still know God is in control, and people have lived with and through worse. Definitely a reminder to keep in prayer for our leaders. Anyway, hang in there!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Nov 18, 2016 4:59 am

Hi Merry! Glad you're still around. I know fb is always tough during elections. I avoided it too till recently.

"And people have lived with and through much worse."

I like that. It will be my new mantra amongst all this uncertainty.

I ended up taking an S day today because I just kind of needed it. I don't know what's wrong with me but just been kind of moody lately. People just get under my skin really quickly & I can't seem to let it go. Maybe it's menopause.

I took my daughter to the movies (Fantastic Beasts) with her two friends and unfortunately one of them just rubs me the wrong way. She just seems very disrespectful and unappreciative. I was very annoyed. I feel badly for my daughter though. I'm sure I embarrassed her. Not good.

Anyway, one cool thing I did over the last couple days was go through my entire closet. I got rid of 8 garbage bags of clothes and am in the process of creating a wardrobe capsule. It's pretty cool and now I'm helping my girls do it too.

I'm really burnt out on eating so little so think I'm going to switch to 2 meals/ day. I also want to incorporate exercise into my day.

Break: 2 apples, herbal coffee
Lunch: bean chips w dip, yogurt w berries, pumpkin smoothie
Dinner: popcorn, small bowl of curry

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 5:44 am

Weird day. I've been mad and sad and irritable and then I lash out at people. This of course makes me feel bad about myself which leads to beating myself up. I just end up feel raw, untethered & insecure.

It finally kind of hit me tonight that all this behavior is just me trying to mask pain. Beating myself up about is only going to make it worse. I guess the whole thing with my sister was bothering me more than I realized. I guess I thought she'd actually apologize this time.

I need to deal with the hurt with kindness & compassion and try to heal this big ol' wound once and for all. Here's my recipe for healing:

1) gym time (at least 1 days of yoga)
2) healthy eating--(oh she glows cookbook?)
3) mediation
4) writing
5) spend time connecting with people that truly love you
6) be kind& compassionate to self
7) see the good in others so u can see it in Yourself

stop trying to tear others down in order to feel better. Instead lift others up and your heart will be lifted up as well
9) spend time in nature
10) pamper yourself--baths, cozy pjs, warm drinks etc.
11) write

The exercising and eating right aren't for losing weight so much as that's what makes me feel good & centered. Starving myself does not however so definitely going to up the food intake a bit. I did today. Hopefully I'll continue to lose. I'm fine with slowly now that my reflux is a lot better.

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch: large pumpkin smoothie, 1/2 granola bar, banana
Dinner: shrimp fajitas, margarita
D: 3 lollipops (oops)

I had a couple sips of a green tea latte and I could feel my reflux starting up. Crazy but all caffeine is definitely out.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 6:32 am

Probably good to up the food intake--I think I'd be irritable just from being hungry, even without other catalysts!

I'm curious, what's a wardrobe capsule?!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 12:17 am

Hi Merry! Yep that's probably part of it. I only did it out of a desperation to improve my health condition. Btw, glad your reflux is better!

A clothing capsule is a minimal amount of clothes that you love, fit you well and work for your lifestyle. They should also be from the same palette. It makes getting dressed so much easier and means you'll always be wearing something you love.

This website walks you through it. https://cladwell.com/capsules

They do charge a minimal fee but I'm guessing you could just do it in your own. It's pretty cool though!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:35 am

Hi Linda, I haven't had a chance to catch up on your thread yet but hope you are well xx

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:17 am

lpearlmom wrote:Hi Merry! Yep that's probably part of it. I only did it out of a desperation to improve my health condition. Btw, glad your reflux is better!

A clothing capsule is a minimal amount of clothes that you love, fit you well and work for your lifestyle. They should also be from the same palette. It makes getting dressed so much easier and means you'll always be wearing something you love.

This website walks you through it. https://cladwell.com/capsules

They do charge a minimal fee but I'm guessing you could just do it in your own. It's pretty cool though!

Thanks!

Interesting concept. So, what is it that they actually do--do they tell you how to decide what to keep and what not to, or do they have a store you can purchase from (I saw they said no slave labor for the clothes, that's awesome).

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:11 am

Hi Merry, they have a flow chart to help you decide on what to keep but basically you only keep what you love & brings you joy. They teamed up with Kon Mari when creating this method which is a decluttering/organization method from Japan that's very popular now. I'm sure you've heard of it or maybe I'm just a domestic nerd. ☺️

Anyway Kon Mari is about only keeping things in your house that bring you joy so this is an offshoot of that concept. After you clean out your closet you input your color palette, your general style (althletic, trendy ect) and your weekly activities (work, gym ect. ). Then it gives you a visual list of what your wardrobe should look like (picture of 3 skirts, 2 jeans ect).

At that point you check off any items you already have which leaves with a shopping list of clothes you still need to get. They don't sell clothes but give you suggested websites and suggested outfits. It's pretty cool because even though I don't have that many clothes, I love everything I have. That means I always feel good in my outfit and for me really can make a difference in how I'm feeling about myself.

Makes perfect sense if you think about it. The whole thing is only $15 and totally worth it imo but I think I was just ready to do it too. Hope that explains it okay!

Anyway, totally overdid it this weekend. Almost had a reflux episode because of it but I think I'm okay now. I think I need to stop getting popcorn at the movies. I always feel ill afterwards! :/

Kind of stressing about thanksgiving. A lot of shopping/cooking to do and I have to deal with my mil!

Break: Indian omelet, herbal coffee (dh cooked this morning)
Lunch: picked at Mac & cheese while I was cooking for kids.
Snack: shared medium popcorn w dh
Dinner: veggie burger, salad 1/2 glass wine
Dessert: 2 lollipops, 2 pieces toffee

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:59 pm

Linda, I'm a Kon Marie devotee as well and even tried project 33 but that was too strict for me. I am currently struggling to get back to it with the baby but making progress.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:35 am

Hi eschano--what's the Kon Mari project 33? I have her books but still haven't gotten to them...yet. ☺️

It's finally cooling down here in Arizona and boy is that a mood lifter. Everyone seems to be in better spirits. It even rained today & the sky was absolutely beautiful--a perfect blue dotted with white clouds. The air was crisp & clean. There's just something about being able to put on sweaters, ugg boots & drink hot cocoa that feels so happy & cozy.

Anyway, getting ready for thanksgiving but I'm feeling pretty good about it. I have my game plan. Tomorrow I shop, wens I prep cook & Thursday I get up early and finish cooking. We're having 12-14 ppl so should be a lot of fun.

My weight is up a couple lbs but that's normal for a Monday. Still my weight has been stuck at the -10 lb spot so that's a little annoying. I'll get there.

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch: large pumpkin smoothie (newest addiction)
Dinner: butternut squash soup, 1/2 chicken sandwich, glass wine
D: 2 lollipops

Exercise: 30 mins rowing

debventure · Post by **debventure** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:26 pm

I like what you said about NoS being the realistic plan you can live with and others being a dead end. That has been my experience with other diets I have tried (and tried and tried) throughout my life. All end in catastrophic failure and more weight. This plan seems flexible enough and sensible enough that I can see myself sticking to it for life (and that is exactly what needs to happen).

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:11 am

Actually haven't heard of Kon Mari, but as I tell my hubby, I'm usually the last to know, LOL!

I have been trying to think about keeping what I love though, but do find it sometimes a challenge. I thought this winter I would put all my clothes on a lower shelf and only move them up if I end up wearing them--and then get rid of all the ones that I don't end up wearing.

I do wear some things that I don't love how they look on my--just because they are soft or comfy, LOL!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Nov 23, 2016 5:50 pm

Hi Linda, your thanksgiving sounds amazing!

Project 33 is one of those minimalist projects where people only own 33 pieces of clothing. It was way to strict for me. It's not kon mari but same idea of loving everything you own xx

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Nov 23, 2016 6:17 pm

I have to wonder what the weather and lifestyle would be of someone who could manage with 33 items of clothing. Envious!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 6:03 am

Hi deb: yep I agree, NoS is definitely doable for life because it is so flexible. When I'm feeling up to it I can tweak things with lighter/smaller plates and then Im Usually in weight loss mode. When that starts to feel like too much, I can go back to eating normal sized meals and then I'm in maintenance mode but I'm not failing & I'm not regaining all my weight which is so different from every other diet out there.

Hi Merry: I like your idea of moving things you wear to a different shelf as you go. Very visual. I think as long as something brings you joy, for whatever reason, it's okay to keep. I'm actually struggling right now with some Eileen Fisher pants I just ordered. They look kinda frumpy on me but boy are the comfy--so soft & luxurious. So I have to think about it.

Hi eschano: thanks I'm excited for tomorrow. It's my favorite holiday--dh even proposed to me on thanksgiving. 😊

33 pieces does sound pretty limited. My total wardrobe came out to 52 pieces but I only have about 27 of those pieces so need to do some shopping. I do have a shelf of cold weather clothes that I only wear when we go camping or to the mountains which I didn't count though. So far I'm loving it but we shall see.

Today ended up being an S day. It was a crazy running around, house full of ppl kind of day. I didn't overdo it but want very structured.

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch/snack: chips & guacamole, couple bites of tamale
Snack: a few nuts, pumpkin smoothie
Dinner: chopped salmon salad, bread, glass wine
Snack: several bites of mashed potatoes, 2 lollipops

I probably won't get around to posting tomorrow so here's the
Thanksgiving menu:

Hummus, nuts, olives
Coconut curry butternut squash soup
Smoked turkey & duck
Homemade cranberry sauce (2 kinds)
Mashed potatoes w gravy
Cornbread sausage stuffing
Broccoli & wild rice casserole
Lebanese green beans
Burgundy mushrooms
Pie (4 kinds) w ice cream & whipped cream

Oh boy that's a lot of food!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all the USAers !!

ModBod · Post by **ModBod** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:57 am

sounds delicious! Enjoy!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:20 pm

Happy thanksgiving! Even more special as an anniversary of your engagement.
I'm looking forward to read more about your Kon Mari adventure

noni · Post by **noni** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:40 pm

Enjoy your wonderful mean. Question: Lebanese green beans? How is that prepared, if I may ask?

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Fri Nov 25, 2016 2:23 am

Linda,

Just wanted to drop by and say Happy Thanksgiving and that your menu looks amazing! It has been wonderful reading about your journey, even while I was not posting on the forum. Congratulations on your sanity with No S, and, of course, your 50lb weight loss- Amazing! It gives me some hope for the future.

I was going to ask about the Lebanese green beans, and looks like noni is also curious about them too. Do you mind sharing the recipe when you have a moment?

Hope the day went well.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:02 am

Thank you modbod!

Thanks noni! My mom's bf who is Lebanese makes them. It's basically a green bean stew w/ sautéed onion, canned whole tomatoes, tomato paste and ALOT of sliced garlic!! Really simple but quite good!

Thanks so much worth it! Glad I could help in some small way. NoS has definitely been so helpful to me these last few years. Not just the diet but the board and all the wonderful ppl here. I hope you find it helpful to you as well.

Tonight ended up going really well. Our friends who run a farmers mkt brought us some really fun drinks so they were mixing everyone drinks while we were cooking. Was a lot of fun. Everything came out yummy except the stuffing. I swear every year it doesn't come out right for some reason. Maybe next year.

I ate a lot but not too crazy actually. Will definitely need to get back on track tomorrow.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:53 am

Linda,

Glad everything went great! And thanks you for staring what the Lebanese beans are. My family makes something similar, but it's not so much a "stew". Interesting (and looks yummy).

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:03 am

Very cool worth it. Sometimes the simplest dishes are best!

Had a great day. We took my mil to the airport and on the way home stopped at a piano store. We've been talking about getting a piano for awhile now so we finally took the plunge. Exciting and a little nerve wrecking (they're not cheap).

Then we stopped at an aquarium that just opened up and had a really nice time. Quite beautiful & extensive.

Yesterday ended up being a fail but miraculously I didn't gain any weight over the last few days. Today was a pretty mild S day so feeling pretty good.

-50.2 lbs (still a little above my lowest but I'll take it)

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch: bowl of stir-fry
Dinner: bowl of soup, several bites of leftovers
Dessert: small piece of caramel apple pie w ice cream, lollipop

Oh and a remade my stuffing. Came out much better this time!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:05 pm

Were those whole birds? turkey and duck?

Congrats on the new piano. It would be so nice to know at least a few tunes to back up some signing, no? And for the kids, too.

Maybe you'll inspire me to set up the hammered dulcimer I bought nearly two years ago at an estate sale...

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:46 am

Oooh a piano- How exciting!

Will you, the hubby, and the girls play? It's funny- I can totally see you playing since I imagine you to be musically inclined as well since you are so good with creating- photography, cooking, etc.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:04 am

Hey oolala, we had a 14 lb turkey and two small ducks. That's the first time we smoked a duck. It was really good! you totally should pull the dulcimer out! I remember seeing a one played at the Renaissance faire and dh even talked about getting one for a bit.

Unfortunately, worth it I do not have a musical bone in my body but thanks for the vote of confidence. My youngest daughter plays and she's really into it. I never have to remind her to practice. Dh plays the guitar, ukulele and harmonica. He also plays a little piano.

I mainly wanted the piano because we have this huge empty foyer and I think a big piano will look great there. Also I want to encourage my daughter of course. ☺️

We spent the day moving furniture around and putting a zillion books back in our bookcases. Now I'm worried our living room is going to be too crowded. Anyway I'm exhausted but I'm excited about making our house more usable. Nobody ever sits in the front room even though it's the prettiest room in the house but I'm hoping that'll change with the piano & bookcases in there.

I kind of overdid on the sweets today but overall not horrible.

Break: protein smoothie
"Lunch": few caramels, handful of nuts, couple pieces of cashew brittle
Dinner: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread,
Dessert: small bowl of sorbet, several coconut thins, lollipop, glass of milk

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:04 am

LOL! You cracked me up about the main reason you really wanted to the piano... Ha! But yes, having one around should be very encouraging to your daughter and maybe even your hubby!

Pianos are lovely and it'll be so nice to have live music in your home. Who cares if things seem a little "cramped". I'm sure it turned out fine.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:00 am

Hehe worth

it is a beautiful piece but I'm also excited about all the beautiful music my daughter will play on it someday. The room is really starting to come together now. Delivery is on Thursday so we will see--can't wait!

Exhausting day. Drove my mom around looking at potential homes. She's thinking of moving here which will be good..I think! Then my daughter had an incident w one of our dogs (she's okay just upset). Then right before bed, my girls got into a big, emotional fight.

I'm drained and so happy to be in bed!

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch: pumpkin smoothie, grapes
Dinner: bowl of chickpea curry, small salad
Dessert: 2 lollipops

Bought new pjs today and fit into a medium. Yay!!

Exercise: 20 min walk

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:44 am

Hi chick!

Sorry to hear about the emotional drain, which I'd argue, is way WORSE than the physical drain. I'm not sure I'd ever be equipped to deal with figuring out how to help those young ladies through those situations. That in itself would be hard to handle, not to mention just witnessing the incident happen. Sigh.

Hope they are the kind to explode and just get it over with and then move on quickly?

Also, very envious of the Medium- GO YOU! It's been about 7 years since I've worn the M's exclusively. "M"aybe I'll get there again...one day?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 5:27 am

Oh boy worth it those girls can be so exhausting! The younger one cannot move on without a proper make up session unfortunately. They fought again last night AND this morning.

I finally broke down and told them I didn't want them to end up like me and my sister (we barely talk). That seemed to snap them out of it for now. They were very kind to each other all day. Hope it lasts.

Btw, worth, I'm only in a medium in some clothes (mostly stretchy stuff) but it does feel so good to just see that size again at all!

Today was a little overwhelming. With the holidays and house guests, I got very behind on everything and am feeling like I'll never catch up. I struggle with this feeling of never being done a lot. I think that's one of the hardest things about being a sahm--you're always surrounded by your work.

Break: coffee, fruit
Lunch: smoothie, handful of sweet potato chips
Dinner: salmon, salad, roasted veggies
D: 2 lollipops

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 6:19 am

I always get excited when I fit into something smaller--congrats on fitting into some mediums! Your perseverance & diligence is paying off.

It IS draining when our kids fight! But the making up times are sweet, and I hope they take your words to heart. (((Hugs)))

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 4:11 pm

I hear you on the getting behind & feeling like you will never catch up. December is the worst!! I feel like I'm treading water with bricks on my feet. I keep going under & coming up chocking on water (:

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:54 am

Linda,

I'm dying to know how the piano room ended up turning out!? I hope it is as lovely as you imagined and that it brings you lots of music...

Also, I agree with Jen- December is going to be very tough to get everything done. In fact, I wonder if it ever ends?

This past May, I changed from jobs going from full-time to part-time and had these grand visions of taking care of my house, family, etc and getting so much done. What I'm finding over these past 6 mo's is that there is NEVER an end to what I "could/should" be doing. I think that some days my guilt kicks in that I only have to work 16-20 hours a week and that my husband has to at least work double that, so I end up working even harder at home. On some days, I have immense guilt about even taking 15 mins to meditate because I could/should be doing something else (i.e. cleaning, another load of laundry, shopping, cooking, etc.). Don't have an answer, just wanted to empathize with you! I hope it will get better at some point.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 6:20 am

Too many moving parts...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:04 am

Yes Merry it's a good feeling! I'm so bad at dealing with my kid's fighting. If you have any tips, please pass them on! 😊

Worth: I forgot to post about the piano! It looks perfect and fits better than expected. (I'm glad we went with the baby grand instead of the grand). It also sounds beautiful and really adds some warmth to our house. So happy with our decision to buy it!

You summed up perfectly how I feel. Now take away the part-time work and the pressure to have everything perfectly taken care of on the Homefront multiplies! I get the guilt about relaxing too but I'm getting over that one a bit...

Oolala "too many moving parts" exactly.

Well... Two red days in a row. I think I'm frustrated with my stalled weight loss despite my cutting back to two meals/day. I really want to go back to 3 meals/day because I'm getting pretty hungry during the day. I'm afraid I'll stop losing anymore weight though.

I know I'm focusing too much on numbers and all this restriction is very un-NoS of me but I'm just so dang close to my goal. I want to be there already so I can relax a bit. Any advice/ideas appreciated.

-50.6 lbs

Break: 1/2 piece toast , herbal coffee
Lunch: pumpkin smoothie
Dinner: Chiptole chicken salad, hot apple cider, glass wine
Red: couple bites of cheesecake, handful nuts, some of daughter's leftovers

So glad it's an S day tomorrow & so glad soccer is over. I need to not do anything for a few hours!

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:24 am

Hi Linda,
I hear you on the feeling of never being finished with stuff that needs to be done - I'm a longtime sahm, too! It can really be overwhelming sometimes. I recently started doing volunteer work and sometimes it is so nice to go into where I volunteer and just be away from all the home stuff for a while. I think we forget that as sahms we are at our "jobs" 24/7...

Enjoy your weekend and hopefully some down time!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:52 pm

Hi Linda,

Glad the piano is gorgeous! We just finished re-decorating our home after a kitchen remodel, and I love it when a room just comes together.

Anyway, I am sitting here wishing for some advice for you on those last 10lbs, but I got nothin'... other than to say, YOU ARE AMAZING for having done the first 50!!!! However, I can only imagine how it must feel to be so close to your goal and be a little stalled. I'm taking that your body just needs to adjust and regroup before you get those last 10lbs down. Maybe take a few weeks off and get back on the horse starting Jan 1? It looks like you have a goal to be down 10 more lbs by Feb, so feel free to ignore if the above paragraph wouldn't work at all for you. LOL!

Ok, hope you can at least enjoy your S days today and tomorrow!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:38 am

Hey Amy! Thanks for stopping by and glad to see another sahm--you get it! I think doing some volunteer work or something would be helpful. I'm looking into some possibilities.

Worth: congrats on the remodel! So nice when it's finally done. I like your idea of waiting till Jan 1 to re-group. I think I need to just enjoy the -50 lbs for a bit instead of hurrying off to the next goal. I'm just going to put my final goal off till middle of March.

Today was good. Calm & relaxing. One daughter at a sleepover, the other having a sleepover here so everyone is happy. Definitely enjoying my food today!

Break: 2 vegan pancakes, 2 veg sausage
Lunch: avocado toast, grapes, several small coconut cookies
Dinner: large turkey Ruben sandwich
Dessert: tba

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sun Dec 04, 2016 4:59 am

What's the reason for putting a deadline on the weight-loss goal?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:31 am

I don't know I guess I'm just a planner. Bad idea?

Also, I know this summer I'll be seeing ppl I have t seen in awhile and I want to look my best. 😊

kaalii · Post by **kaalii** » Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:17 am

so great that you got to buy a piano!! i only have room for an electric one that i bought after the divorce and 10 years pause in playing it... it worked great as part of my recovery... oh, when the sound of it fills the house...

also, i was sahm during my son's first 3 years... i also found it crucial to do somethng outside of the house that involved seeing other people... for me it was organizing non-profit dance workshops... and joining french classes to better my french since i live in switzerland... another friend, sahm with 3 kids, has an amazing band and paints (had already couple of exibitions)... i dont know how she manages to do it... but it doesnt make her more stressed, quite the contrary, it seems to make her more joyful and relaxed... maybe because it is exactly what nourishes her soul... it is important to find something that makes sense and speaks to us... otherwise it is just another chore that we dont need as 24/7 employed...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:18 pm

Oh nice kaalii! So glad you found some way to help you get through those tough times.

I've struggled with finding something interesting enough to stick to all through my Sahm years. Nothing seems to stick. Maybe I'm just not a hobby person but since this U.S. election there's been a fire lit under me and I've joined a political action group. Maybe I finally found something I feel passionate enough about to distract me from my domestic life (which I admit to loving).

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:49 am

Hi Linda,

Great that you can push out your goal! I get the planning thing, for sure and don't like when I have to push out originally planned deadlines. We are currently going through this with a financial goal we have. We've made the decision to help out our parents with the purchase of a car, and now it's setting us back a little in achieving our goal. While I've told my husband that I've made "peace with it", in the back of my mind, I keep thinking that maybe if I shift some things around, we can still meet our original timeline?? I know, I'm crazy! I guess I just need a little time for it to sink in.

Anyway, I hope that giving yourself a little more time helps you achieve your end goal without as much "pain".

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:39 am

lpearlmom wrote:I don't know I guess I'm just a planner. Bad idea?

Also, I know this summer I'll be seeing ppl I have t seen in awhile and I want to look my best. 😊

Gotcha

. I just wondered because it seems you're going to more extremes to try to meet that goal and I'd hate for you to rebound from those measures, you know? But I do get that No-S is slower loss, and sometimes am tempted to speed things up myself.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:03 am

And whose version of "best" would that be? Because in some cultures, you are too skinny to look your best.

and why is their admiration so important?

Don't you love my supportive questions?

Forcing yourself to try to be happy with less food to earn your own or others' admiration for your appearance (rather than for better health or vitality) is something to be questioned, IMHO. If for no other reason than that it is notoriously unsuccessful in the long run. If it worked, the first diet we ever did would have been our last.

The times I lost weight were always around times I would have some very light S days. I didn't do them for weight loss, but just because they were the only days of the week I allowed myself to eat less often,and I legitimately wasn't hungry. But I didn't usually do it every weekend. I was honestly surprised that my weight would stabilize lower.

I have no idea if I ever would have gotten where I am if I had a more full social life, including a husband and children who loved me, and friends I shared good meals with. Guess which one I would choose, if I could?

But none of this means ten more pounds won't come off at some point.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:40 pm

I hear you guys. Very valid points.

I had a very wild S day yesterday. I'm up 5 lbs and yeah I no a lot of it is water weight but still I'm feeling discouraged.

Need to rethink my attitude, plan, priorities. Clearly this up & down with the scale and my emotions is not working.

More later...

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:10 pm

Eating too little is my surest path towards a weight I can't maintain. I don't think it's the worst thing to use looking better as a motivator to lose weight but going to far to get there might not be the path that leads to permanent success, at least it never worked for me!!

And my advise to lose will always be move more instead of eating less but that's mostly because I really don't like having to be too restrictive with food (: When I added a walk to the mailbox before I started dinner it made a big difference!! I love seeing higher numbers on my step counter each night too which is something that for me is super motivating!!

Good luck Linda!! You're such an awesome person on the inside which to me means a lot more than anything else!! The people who matter the most love you as you are!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Dec 06, 2016 5:46 am

Worth it: thanks for understanding. Sounds like we're both planners. ☺️ I hope you reach your goal soon. Very generous of you guys to help your parents get a new car btw.

Merry: thanks for the feedback. I'm okay with slow. My concern is that it'll be zero weightloss with vanilla but I just need to have a little faith & keep on pushing forward.

Oolala: I appreciate your honesty. You are right of course and I can imagine myself saying something similar to someone else. So I'm being a bit hypocritical on top of it all.

In my head I was just going to push through these last 10 lbs as quickly as possible and then go back to vanilla and focus on being eating healthy and exercising in a way that felt good. Welp I might as well just do that now since it's so much more rational not to mention enjoyable.

Jen: thank you so much for your post. I read it this morning when I was feeling rather down and it really lifted my spirits (full disclosure: made me tear up a bit too). I cannot imagine anyone thinking you as stuck-up. You have a heart of gold. ❤️

You are also right, Jen, that an eating plan needs to be sustainable and I much rather add in a little exercise then cut out lot of food. So much more empowering. Btw, just how far is that mailbox anyway?

Anyway, so regrouped, back to sanity *phew*. Boy did it feel good to eat three meals today. I really appreciate them now. I also did a little exercise and that felt great too. So plan to continue this path and whatever happens happens.

Hopefully I will continue to lose slowly overtime but I need to keep my focus on having a sane relationship with food and to feel comfortable in my own skin.

-45.2 😁

Red day (going to firm up my boundaries)

Break: almond milk & banana smoothie
Lunch: chickpea & avocado sandwich, cup of veg soup, Apple
Dinner: pesto gnocchi soup, chopped salad w lemon tahini dressing, glass of wine
Red: 2 lollipops, a blueberry, too many tastes during prep

Exercise: 20 mins rowing

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Tue Dec 06, 2016 7:35 am

I was wondering about Jen's mailbox, too!

I hope things start looking up for you this week, Linda. Hang in there!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Dec 06, 2016 12:34 pm

Sanity with food! And if that means a little less dense food on the plate, and sometimes even fewer eating events on weekends because the meals are richer, so be it. Or even better, hardly noticing. Now, THAT'S my dream, but that's a lot harder than Vanilla.

BTW, remind me what percentage of your original weight 50.8 lbs. represents, please? (And remember that most obesity doctors call it a huge success when an obese patient loses and keeps off even 5% of her weight. It's THAT unusual.)

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:14 am

lpearlmom wrote: Merry: thanks for the feedback. I'm okay with slow. My concern is that it'll be zero weightloss with vanilla but I just need to have a little faith & keep on pushing forward.

You know, every couple of months I start to have this fear that No-S isn't going to work any more and that I'll just stop losing! So...I get it. One reason I haven't started something more drastic is the fear that I won't maintain it--(like, if I went to 2 meals a day, lost some weight & then went back to 3 meals--would I really maintain or would I gain it back?) Oy, the mind-bending games that go on in my head! So, I just do No-S and keep hoping it will work! I'm there with you on the slow loss, and only hope I can lose as much as you have!

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:36 pm

LOL about the mailbox (: I live at the bottom of the hill so it's all uphill to get there (: It's about a 20 minute walk, 30 if I go the long way, but it's extra so it's made it so I can have that little bit more when I need to guilt free (:

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:01 am

Amy thank you!

Oolala: I think I was around 210 when I started so like 25%? I guess that's pretty good when you put it like that.

Merry you are right. I've been worried I might gain back weight once I go back to 3 meals too. Best just not to go down that road if your not able to stay on it.

Jen: oh wow that is a bit of a trek! My mailbox is just across the street but I'm still too lazy to check it everyday. 😊 20-30 mins is about how long it takes me to walk the dogs & it does seem to effect the scale. Funny how a little bit can make a difference.

Oh boy what a day! Our greyhound got out tonight and my kids were beside themselves with grief. We drove around for hours to no avail. I was so worried about him. It's very cold out and he didn't have his sweater on. Just as we were heading back to the house we got a call and somebody had found him! So happy as he's just the sweetest boy. My poor daughter was a wreck because she's the one that left the gate open. Thank goodness it worked out. I'm never letting him out of my sight again.

Yesterday and today were green days--yay! Love eating 3 meals again!

Break : smoothie, herbal coffee
Lunch: veggie burger, yogurt w berries
Dinner: large salad w chicken, cup of broccoli soup

Exercise: 40 min walk

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:27 am

Oh, wow, so glad you found your dog!

Well, Jen's mailbox is definitely workout-worthy! It really does make a huge difference to be consistently exercising. I try to get a minimum of 30 minutes in every day, I think it really helps, not just for the calories burned but because of how it lifts my mood, fights stress, and therefore makes me less prone to overeat.

As a dog owner, you're lucky, you have to walk your dog, so you get it automatically!

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:36 pm

Amy3010 wrote:Oh, wow, so glad you found your dog!

Well, Jen's mailbox is definitely workout-worthy! It really does make a huge difference to be consistently exercising. I try to get a minimum of 30 minutes in every day, I think it really helps, not just for the calories burned but because of how it lifts my mood, fights stress, and therefore makes me less prone to overeat.

As a dog owner, you're lucky, you have to walk your dog, so you get it automatically!

Completely agree with the lift modd & fight stress. I'm such a better mom/wife when I exercise each day!!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:38 am

Sooo glad someone found your dog and got him back! I'm sure your daughter felt awful, poor girl!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:47 pm

Yay for the pup. but 25% is "pretty" good? It's astounding. Don't let the diet hype and internet wonder programs fool you. It is unusual for people to lose even 5% of their weight and keep it off for any length of time.

Keep your success in perspective, not what you might think of as your failure.

I'm thinking of doing volunteer dog walking for shelters when I retire.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:22 am

Thanks Amy! Yes when they give you that sad look it's hard to refuse.

Thank you Merry! I know it would have been horrible if we never found him! Our plan is to get the gate spring loaded so it won't happen again.

Jen: I really need to make time for exercising. It just feels so dang good. I know it's crazy but I feel guilty when I exercise during the day because everyone else is at work. But I am a better wife, & mother when I exercise so really it's win-win for everyone.

Oolala: thanks! It feels good to know I accomplished something difficult especially since I did it (mostly) in a sane reasonable way. I love the idea of dog walking for shelters!

So I realized what makes more sense then restricting my N days is to take a good look at my S days as well as getting back to exercising.

My S days have still mostly been wild despite the fact that I don't enjoy them. It's almost to the point of feeling like self-punishment. Today I told myself I deserve to feel good even on S days. I really need a little structure so am aiming for 3 meals plus 2 snacks or desserts. I'm reminding myself permasnacking never feels good.

Today went pretty well. My weight is up a bit but I am pmsing so not worried.

-47.8 lbs

Break: feta cheese & egg white wrap, caramel apple cider
Lunch: small plate of leftover Thai, bowl of yogurt, berries & nuts
Dinner: veggie taco, beans
Dessert: 2 lollipops, large cookie, piece of toffee

Feels good not to go to bed stuffed.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Dec 11, 2016 7:14 pm

Linda,

Just dropping by to say I LOVE your new goal!

I also agree about the comment about deserving to feel good on S Days. I'm coming off of a wild S day yesterday and am really identifying with this right now- such a great way to think about it. S Days should be for special pleasures, not for feeling yucky.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:40 am

Thanks so much worth! What I realized by making my new goal is that I really need to incorporate exercise into my life. What is the point of being thin(ner) if you're not fit as well? I've been so focused on the scale I forgot the whole point of losing weight was to feel better & be healthier.

For me exercise needs to be apart of that equation. Not punishing exercise just to burn calories but something that feels joyful. I forgot how good it can feel and how much it can improve my body image. I do walk my dogs a few times a week but that's really not enough. I need to get my heart rate up and use my muscles a bit. I'm going to stop waiting for my life to slowdown so I can finally go to the gym. Instead I'm going to start going to the gym & fit my life around that.

(At least that's the plan. Let's see how it goes.)

Today was pretty good but definitely feeling bloated. I didn't eat too much but did eat some pretty dense food.

Break: 2 pieces of toast w pb
Lunch: large smoothie, bran muffin
Snack: handful pb pretzels, several corn chips
Dinner: 2 short ribs, Swiss chard & pearl onions (so good), glass wine
Desert: 2 lollipops, piece of toffee

Exercise: 15 min walking

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 2:39 am

OK! I'm really liking the idea of planning the exercise time around life vs. the other way around. Joyful movement is a great goal- It is wonderful to feel strong and full of energy, not to mention getting the body image boost. I'll be here cheering for you!

I forgot who I was talking with on the board, but I remember talking about Leslie Sansome, who has a few really good 15 min walk videos that might be fun and easy to incorporate at home (if you have a particularly difficult schedule that day). In fact, you've just inspired me to give one of these videos a shot tomorrow. I can do 15 mins, right?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:28 am

Yeah worth, I figure it's better then planning my day around cleaning & errands which is what I do know. Tomorrow I'm going to a yoga class. Super excited!

A red day. Just feel super hungry--pms? Oh well. I'm a little nervous about gaining some weight back but I will just get back on track tomorrow.

Break: green smoothie
Lunch: chickpea & avocado sandwich, yogurt & fruit
Dinner: roasted chicken, 2 servings of salad (red), rice, glass of wine
D: 2 lollipops (red)

I also picked at some food as I was cleaning up.

Exercise: 20 min walk

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:44 am

Oh, exciting - you're going to do a yoga class! I was just answering your question on my thread about that - I can't wait to hear how you like it!

I agree with you on incorporating exercise into your life and making it something that you enjoy. I think that's the only way to get to a point where it really becomes a part of your routine, and you miss it when you don't get it in. I love it when my movement can be functional, like biking to the store, but sometimes it's fun to go the gym and just really focus on moving my body and taking time for myself. Yoga class is great for that too!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 6:54 pm

Hi Linda,

I hope your yoga class was awesome! I love the idea of yoga, but find that when I get in an actual class, I go overboard and end up hurting myself for the next 5 days... lol!

Anyway, I hope it was relaxed and helped you move your body in a joyful way!
p.s. thanks for the inspiration- I walked 15 mins today!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:26 am

Thanks worth but was kind of a bust! I went to the gym all raring to go only to find out they were closed for renovations. Oops! I remembered worth talking about exercise videos so picked up a yoga one as well as a Leslie Sansome video.

I did the yoga one and then my back froze up 😁 It's fine now but kind of a rough first day of trying to get back to it! Oh well I'm excited to try the other video tomorrow and will get to the gym next week when it reopens.

Thanks for responding Amy and you've definitely motivated with me to stick it out. You're right one hour of uninterrupted time is golden and I've decided I should be able to have at least one hour a day just for me. (My family can have the other 23.

A little bit of a red day (again). Stupid picking at food during clean up again. I'm determined to have a green day tomorrow!

Break: pumpkin smoothie
Lunch:Asian chicken w avocado
Dinner: Chinese food, a short rib, vegetable gratin (leftover night) glass wine
Red:few bites food at clean up

Exercise: 30 min walk; 20 min yoga

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 7:29 am

Bummer on the class being cancelled!

I just tried a Leslie Sansome video yesterday for the first time - it was raining outside and I didn't feel like going anywhere. It was a lot more strenuous than I thought it was going to be!

Good luck on taking that one hour per day for yourself - you deserve it!

ceo418 · Post by **ceo418** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 1:04 pm

My exercise either comes from going for walks outside or from Leslie Sansone videos! I love the fact that they're low impact (with some having higher impact options) and you can do them at home and often customize them to how you're feeling that day. I also like the fact that most of the walkers in the videos with her look like average people just working out along with her.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:32 pm

I go through periods of being "on it," but being on it these days means as little as 4 minutes (more often more) of alternating 30-sec. intense moves with 5 seconds of rest and varying numbers of steps walking later in the day. I can't claim any big muscles, but hadn't been to dance class in months and kept up on Sunday. I use youtube videos or various moves I've learned over the years, some bodyweight, some with weights I've found at yard sales. I've got tons of videos, but they seem so long to me now! Sometimes I keep on in the player and just follow it for 14 minutes, which I'm not doing now while I write, another kind of "fitness."

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:20 pm

Love your new goals & how good you sound!! I bet by taking an hour for yourself you'll find that the other 23 hours you do everything better!! At least thats how it seems to work for me (:

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 7:50 pm

LOL on the yoga video- I know how you feel, especially since I also have back trouble (bulging disc)!

Hope you'll get to enjoy Leslie! I added some 1lb weights for good measure and found that it worked me more than I thought.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 6:07 am

Sorry the class didn't happen, but I hope it turns out to be good. I have a few Leslie Sansone dvds too. I like to rotate those in during the winter when it's harder to walk. My favorite workout though is the T-Tapp Basic workout (14 minutes even! with an optional 2-minute add-on move at the end). I can do it without the DVD, but sometimes I need the DVD to "make" me do it, LOL! Funny how I might keep up with the DVD, but on my own I need breaks between moves! It's really good for stretching & help with back issues though.

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 8:16 am

Yoga with Adriene has a really good 15 minute gentle routine for back pain I can highly recommend (I use it often when my back is acting up): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeXz8fI ... FhXx&t=19s

I have never heard of T-Tapp - I am definitely going to check it out!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 6:10 am

Thank you guys! It was definitely kind of funny that everything was going wrong the first day I finally decided to get back on the exercise train.

Luckily the last couple of days have been better. You have another Leslie Sansome convert here! Love that she's down to earth and it's not crazy hard. The old me would have wanted some hard core exercise regime but something that is so enjoyable is sustainable which is the most important aspect of a fitness plan, right?

The first video I got has three 20 min segments. The first day I planned to just do just the first segment but I was enjoying it so much, I ended up doing the whole thing. I did get some heavier weights yesterday to make it a bit more challenging but it's still definitely doable.

Ugh, sounds like I'm not the only one with back problems. 😁 Thank you Amy for the link. That is exactly what I've been looking for and will bookmark it so I can keep it handy! My back is much better thank goodness but susceptible to issues so I'm hoping a combo of yoga/strength training will help!

Things have been crazy busy with the holidays but staying green (more or less) and doing moderate exercise so feeling good. I went to the Art museum with a photographer friend the other day and she sent me some pictures she took while we were there. I was in a couple of them and I was stunned to see I looked "normal" in the pictures. Definitely not fat!

As much as I'm trying to take the focus off of weight, I have to acknowledge how painful it is to be overweight in this society. Oh how I used to cringe when I'd see photos of myself. It was such a relief, not to feel that this time.

Anyway, I'm hosting a Hanukkah gathering this weekend. Why does entertaining only sound like a good idea when it's weeks before the event? I'll get through it but lots to do!

Break: coconut & date smoothie
Lunch: veggie burger, salad
Dinner: slice of pot roast, salad, spring roll, poke, chips & guacamole (I swear it all fit on one small plate!); glass of wine

So happy to have 3 meals again!

Exercise: 30 min dog walk; 20 min upper body circuit (Leslie)

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:11 am

Wow, how lovely to see yourself in pictures and not have the cringe reaction! That is a huge milestone.

Good luck with the party this weekend - I know what you mean about dreading something you've planned and looked forward to... Hope it all goes well and that you end up enjoying it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 5:29 am

Thank you Amy! Things are fairly under control so hopefully tomorrow won't be too stressful.

I had a good S day today because I realized I'm never going to be able to have a free for all S day. Maybe it's just too many years of dieting but I think it's pretty clear my S days are not going to mellow out on their own.

I've tried to implement structure before but to no avail. I think it's because I was too restrictive before. This time I told myself I could have 6 plates (break, snack, lunch, snack, dessert) and piled high if I wanted. That took the pressure off and I didn't feel the need to permasnack all day. Feels much better to have contained meals even if I'm eating more than usual.

Break: toast w pb & banana; large caramel apple cider
Snack: handful nuts, handful grapes
Lunch: veg burger, chips & guacamole, small bowl of yogurt & fruit
Snack: small bowl of yogurt covered pretzels & almonds
Dinner: Chiptole chicken salad w few chips, glass wine
Dessert: 2 lollipops; small bowl of coconut thins, glass milk

Wow looks like a lot of food but o really don't feel overstuffed so it's all good.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:40 pm

I like a few hard workouts after I've been consistent with milder ones for awhile, but I remind myself that Blue Zoners don't do anything comparable to training for or running marathons, so I don't have to do it all the time. Unless I really want to, and that hasn't been happening for a long time. Who am I kidding? Not even the moderate stuff. Linda, you've always been better at that than I have.

Even Reinhard talked about a mod for S days. No solitary snacking," and it's much like what you've described. I myself still get a fair amount of pleasure from eating randomly on Saturday mornings, but other times it annoys me, yet not enough to commit to the mod the rest of the time.

https://everydaysystems.com/podcast/episode.php?id=40

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 4:52 am

Thanks for the link oolala. I'm okay with solitary eating for the most part but I need a definite starting and stopping point. Also I haven't really got the exercise down yet either. I do walk my dogs regularly but the greyhound is very slow & stops every couple of mins to smell something. Still I guess it's something!

The party went very well but I kept thinking of little things I should have done differently. I guess the only way to get better at entertaining is to do it more often. Everyone seemed to have a really good time though so that's all that matters I guess.

A weird thing that happened though was one of the woman offered to loan me her ski clothes for our ski trip coming up and she asked me my size in front of everyone. It was a little uncomfortable and I was surprised when she said she had stuff that fit me. For some reason I thought she was heavier than me. Maybe it's just because she's always on a diet and wears baggy clothes. I know it's petty but it kind of bugged me. I've lost all this weight only to be the same weight as someone whose constantly dieting. Ugh.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: short rib, small bowl of yogurt w fruit
Dinner: piece of polenta mushroom casserole, small baked potato

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 5:41 am

lpearlmom wrote: A weird thing that happened though was one of the woman offered to loan me her ski clothes for our ski trip coming up and she asked me my size in front of everyone. It was a little uncomfortable and I was surprised when she said she had stuff that fit me. For some reason I thought she was heavier than me. Maybe it's just because she's always on a diet and wears baggy clothes. I know it's petty but it kind of bugged me. I've lost all this weight only to be the same weight as someone whose constantly dieting. Ugh.

That is odd. Is it possibly things she has outgrown?

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 7:20 am

Wow, that does sound awkward... Glad your party went well, though!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 2:03 pm

I'm betting no one else thought a thing about it.

RE: exercise, I thought I was always seeing references in your posts to going biking and this and that. Honestly, to me, if it's not on the couch, it's exercise. I don't even do housework consistently! Some days all the standing up I do is making my meals, and that's mostly assembly, so it goes pretty fast.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:45 am

Yeah Merry that's what I was kind of thinking but best not to obsess over these things. 😁

Thank you Amy!

Probably right oolala! And yes dh & I did have a good streak of consistently exercising (biking & gym) but he has abandoned me for his guitar playing. Apparently he's only good at being obsessed with one thing at a time.

I've not been consistent about anything since although I was getting up early for awhile to bike on my own. Did I mention I'm so not a morning person? Yeah bound to fail. But I am really craving getting back into a routine so excited about that. I do walk the dogs regularly (fairly) and on my feet most of the day cleaning, cooking, running errands.... Except when I'm on the phone with the bank for 5 hrs (ack!!)

That being said I wasn't feeling well today so did not exercise and I had a red day so blah! Apparently I felt well enough to eat a bunch. Okay back on track tomorrow.

Break: date & banana smoothie
Lunch: veg burger, a few zucchini fries, small plain yogurt w fruit
Dinner: 1 short rib, mashed potatoes, salad
Red: couple bites of chicken, several bites of granola

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:36 pm

I'm probably repeating myself but Laurence Morehouse, previous fitness expert to the space program, said being on your feet in any combination of movement for three hours a day plus short workouts three times a week was enough for basic fitness. Not skinniness. Just fitness.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 4:09 am

Linda,

Just took a moment to catch up on your thread and I find I'm appalled about the ski clothes incident! OMG how awkward. Sounds like you are over this already so sorry if I'm adding unnecessary fuel to the fire, but I'm wondering if she did that out of jealousy in light of all of your hard work. Seems like she was trying to identify herself with your size/weight in front of an audience. Wonder if she was even being truthful about her own/weight and size. Anyway, sorry you had to deal with that one. Sheesh.

Oh, and feel free to ignore me if I'm totally wrong on this one- I think I'm especially sensitive to questions about my weight from when I was young...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 5:54 am

That's great news oolala. Maybe I'm doing better than I thought. I stopped exercising for the sake of burning calories a long time ago. It's just for health reasons at this point.

Worth it: yeah you're right it was really odd. She never did give me the clothes but at this point I rather go buy some of my own. Thanks for validating my feelings.

Good day today. Green day & got some exercise in. Tomorrow is the last day before the girl's winter break. Will be nice to have a break from early mornings & homework struggles.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: bowl of tomato soup, piece of toast, yogurt & fruit
Dinner: mussels, bread, zucchini fries, 3 mini quiche, glass wine

Exercise: 30 min walk; 20 min lower body circuit w Leslie

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:27 am

Good job on getting your exercise in!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Dec 25, 2016 5:43 am

Thanks Amy. Girls are home for winter break so a couple lazy days and heavy food. I haven't weighed myself but I'll get back on track on Monday so no matter.

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah but dh is on call so we're waiting for him to light candles. This year's celebration feels much more important than usual in the face of all the current hatred that's being stirred up by this election towards Jews & Muslims. Such a crazy scary time but we'll get through...

Break: 2 pieces of French toast, herbal coffee
Lunch: 2 bowls of granola w/ milk & fruit
Snack: small bowl of yogurt covered nuts & pretzels, milk
Dinner: Asian salad, 2 glasses wine
Dessert: 3 lollipops, glass of eggnog

Exercise: running through the Costco parking lot in the pouring rain

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sun Dec 25, 2016 6:14 am

lpearlmom wrote:
Exercise: running through the Costco parking lot in the pouring rain

LOL!

Happy Hanukkah!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:07 am

Hehe thanks Merry!

Kind of overdid it today but did get some exercise in so that's good.

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit
Lunch: salad w chicken, toast
Snack: small bowl yogurt almonds
Dinner: Chinese food, glass wine
Dessert: eggnog, bowl of ice cream

Exercise: 1 hr circuit DVDs (Leslie), 20 min walk, sliding in my socks all over the house w my kids

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:34 am

lpearlmom wrote:sliding in my socks all over the house w my kids

The BEST kind of exercise!

kaalii · Post by **kaalii** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:49 pm

Merry wrote:
lpearlmom wrote:sliding in my socks all over the house w my kids
The BEST kind of exercise!

hahahaha!! awesome!!!

bunsofaluminum · Post by **bunsofaluminum** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 5:27 pm

kaalii wrote:
Merry wrote:
lpearlmom wrote:sliding in my socks all over the house w my kids
The BEST kind of exercise!
hahahaha!! awesome!!!

hee hee that's one of my favorites, too! what fun...Happy Hannukah!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Dec 27, 2016 6:35 am

Sounds like everyone can relate to the sock sliding fun!

I'm kind of down today. This happens to me pretty regularly. Maybe every couple of months but I feel like everyone is against me and/or mad at me. I think part of it is that being Jewish in December just kind of sucks in a way that only other Jewish people can understand. I wish I could go to Israel during this time of the year. Would be amazing to have everyone celebrating your holiday.

Anyway that and just little conflicts here and there not to mention my sister isn't talking to me. I guess I'm just feeling really rejected in general. I get these huge bouts of insecurity when this happens and I pretty much don't want to interact with anyone but my immediate family. I just need to lick my wounds for a bit.

It'll pass though. It always does. Our social life will pick up again and my wounds will heal and I'll feel better again for awhile. But I am reflecting on some inner changes I need to make to help protect me from being so vulnerable to others ppl's opinion of me. I need to be a little more secure and maybe realize that conflicts always end up making me feel bad. Im not cut out for getting into big debates with other ppl. I'll be okay.

My weight is up a bit too so that's not helping. I even thought of going back to one meal a day but quickly remembered that wasn't a good long term solution. Better to just focus on making sure I'm being strict w the nos rules.

-45 lbs :/

Break: smoothie
Lunch: turkey/avo sandwich, handful chips w hummus, watermelon
Dinner: bowl of quinoa & sweet potato stew, glass wine

Exercise: 3 mile walk w Leslie dvd; 10 min walk on track (while my girls ran a timed mile)

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Tue Dec 27, 2016 7:44 am

Oh, Linda, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch - that sucks.

Hope things look brighter in the next few days...

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Dec 28, 2016 1:02 am

It's easy to feel a letdown after holidays, too. I know you don't celebrate Christmas specifically, but I was affected by Moslem holidays when I lived there. My sister and I aren't really close, but I'd be bummed if I thought she was purposely not speaking to me.

I often have thoughts of being inadequate. I'll share more later. (Some of them spurred by death of Carrie Fisher. )

Enjoy your dinner!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Dec 28, 2016 5:37 am

Thanks Amy. Doing a bit better today!

Oolala, All I know is that I'm always relieved when xmas is over. We're still in the midst of our Hannukah celebration but I really enjoy that. Just nightly candle lighting & a small gift each night.

I think it does make me think about my failed relationships though with everyone have fun family gatherings. Definitely time for reflection and discovering there's lots of room for change.

I agree Carrie Fisher's death is quite a shock. She's was so young. Kind of puts things in perspective.

Feeling a little better today. Got my hair done and that's always like the equivalent of three therapy sessions wrapped into one. My hairdresser is so sweet and complimentary. It's hard not to feel better after I leave. Plus she does a fantastic job on my hair.

I'm trying to regroup and hoping to make next year a good one. We're going skiing next week and I think it'll be really good to get away.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: bowl of veggie stew with black bean chips
Dinner: potato kinish, pad Thai noodles, 2 glasses wine

Exercise: 3 mile DVD w Leslie ( did the last mile on fast forward)

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:58 pm

Hi Linda,

Just checking in with you. Glad to hear you are feeling a little better, especially after some self care (with your hair... hey, that rhymed!).

I also still struggle with people's opinions of me and feeling left out, no matter how old I get. I think it's the whole drive for humans to be social and the fact that most of the time I flounder back and forth between wanting to be social and not...Mostly not. But the holidays seem to amplify this, for sure.

Anyway, I'm glad you are enjoying your Hanukkah and sharing those wonderful traditions with your daughters and husband!

Cheers!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:03 am

I often have feelings like that too, even in relation to people I know are good friends! With my husband's disability, we tend to be a more quiet family and not as social. Plus since my mom moved in with my grandma several years ago, no one else is here for Christmas--so it can be quiet and lonely even while enjoying the break. (((Hugs))) to you.

The candle-lighting and small gift each night sounds lovely.

kaalii · Post by **kaalii** » Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:37 am

ah, relationships - the ultimate frontier!

im sure so many of us can relate, linda!

the big lessons in my life taught me that "all relationships are in our heads" and we cant be alone even if we wanted to because we take all our relationships with us wherever we go (in our heads, inner chatter etc.) , as byron katie puts it... even if alone in a dessert/prison cell/deserted island, we'd (un)fortunatelly drag all of them with us... i use her work for almost 10 years now, since my divorce... it is similar to CBT but it is DIY and less rational - more meditative... i also cant imagine being able to do quality job (in education and people work in general) without a tool similar to that one...

it is a great comfort for me in those relationships i have lost (death, moving or otherwise) or are far away... and a great vantage point to keep actually working on the current relationships when i am not in physical presence of the people involved... they may or may not change but we do have opportunity to find our peace of mind or at least a momentary relief from torturing ourselves with the relationship issues with them...
some miracles have happened- the relationship with the father of my son is an amazing friendship and co-parenting for many years now due to this work (on my part only) after our divorce... the other examples are less glorious but far from insignificant...
i hope this resonates and if not i appologise for rattling about how i go about these issues...

warm hugs to all!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 5:39 am

Thank you Merry & worth! I guess Im not the only one who struggles with these feelings. Big hugs to both of you.

kaalii: that does make a lot of sense. I've always gotten along well with men and am fortunate enough to have a great relationship with my husband but women are a different story. My relationship with my sister is long & complicated but I won't bore you will all the details. Thank you for the tip on the author. I went ahead and bought one of her books on my kindle & look forward to reading it.

Feeling better today and can feel the cloud of depression start to finally lift. Dh had the day off so that was nice. We took a family walk with all the dogs then came home and made breakfast. Tonight my daughter had her best friend over whom I adore and she really enjoyed celebrating Hanukkah with us so that warmed my heart. Tonight I poured myself a glass of wine & watched a silly chick flick and by the end of the evening I was starting to feel like my old self again.

I've being wrestling with depression for a long time and I've learned how to sort of nudge it in the right direction till it dissipates. Luckily it's only every couple of months or so and then only for a few days. I think part of the problem is this activist group I belong to on fb. I've been so engrossed in it and it's a bit overwhelming. None of it is particularly uplifting as you can imagine. It's important to me that I continue to participate but I think I'm going to limit it to one day a week. I think for my mental health I have to be careful.

Anyway as far as NoS goes, I haven't been doing great. If I'm honest, I rarely have a perfectly green day. It's hard for me to convince myself of the importance of green days I suppose. In the beginning I was very strict and I think I had something like 60 straight green days at one point. Yet I barely lost weight. It great,y benefited me in other ways though. But the times I did lose weight were times when I wasn't necessarily following NoS to the letter of the law but definitely the spirit of the law.

So I need to find some motivation to be strict again but am finding it difficult to convince myself. Working on it...

Break: toast w avocado, 2 chicken sausages
Lunch: vegan sloppy joe, chips w hummus, yogurt w granola
Dinner: hamburger w chips, wine
Red: 2 lollipops, couple pieces licorice, couple handfuls of granola

Exercise: 20 min walk, our DVD player is broken--so bummed!!