Pangelsue's check in

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 11:43 am

I like easy and little cooking too especially in summer. We're gardeners and the more time I can be outside the better.

Friday success. We went out for supper with friends and I had an enjoyable meal. They all had ice cream after and I didn't. Hard but gratifying. Every day more decisions I guess. This one left me at 21 and 2. Had I caved, it would have been 20 and 3. And now it's the weekend and I can have ice cream with joy today.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 1:47 pm

Good job Sue!!!!!!!!
I'm impressed!!!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 12:21 pm

Thanks, Deb. I am impressed too. The weekend was also pretty good. I am going to add a weekend assessment to my scoring plan. I will try to be honest with myself on Monday mornings. If my weekend was overall a success, I will count it as a success. If I went insane and ate everything in sight whether I wanted it or not, it will add the score negatively. Maybe it will help to enjoy having a sundae after a cheeseburger without adding the onion rings and the fries. My weekends too often have been counterproductive to the plan. I will still have the treats but limit the number and scope a bit more.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 1:36 pm

Dear Sue,
I agree with Phil about this issue... S days are automatic successes!
They really should be restriction and *judgement* free, in my opinion...
If we try to overly control those, it takes the fun out of them..
I know you have had lifelong "control" issues, and I would love to see you just "ease up" on yourself for S days... it would be a practice in accepting things as they are, without judgement...
You can decide if it made you happy or not, and of course we all want the former, but I wouldn't go and rate them as anything but successes..
Too much structure isn't good..
Not enough isn't either..
Find balance and, hopefully not eat everything in sight either...

Keep on with your great winning streak!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 4:54 am

It's Tuesday and I am at 23-2. I love this new plan. I guess I am competitive even with myself. I have been doing good even though we have been eating more salt lately. We are gardening every night and meals have to be quick so we don't waste too much time in the kitchen. Next week I hope to make the meals simple but maybe grill more so I can avoid the package mix trap. Anyway doing well and staying on course. Like this way of eating and living. As Eskh said, this is a wonderful new relationship with food.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:17 am

24-2 with one funny thing. I had a little glass of Baileys when I got home tonight. Did a 12 hour day at work today and I was bone tired. I needed a pleasant, indulgent moment. There are 5 of us who are phone contacts for our suppliers. We are overworked on the best of days. We have commented that being air traffic controllers would be a break from the stress of our jobs. We are still each taking at least a day a week training the new guy, and we were worrying about another of the girls going on vacation next week and finding the time to cover for her. Today, another one of the girls called to say she was in the hospital with appendicitis. I feel very bad for her but I am miserable for me and the other girl who have to now cover for 3 other people. You know what, it is always some kind emergency there. I have been waiting for things to calm down for 11 years now and I guess it just isn't going to happen. I am very good at what I do and when I am just me at work, I really rather like my job. But at 61, this constant pressure is getting very old.... Probably just tired. Will sign off for now.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:19 am

24-2 with one funny thing. I had a little glass of Baileys when I got home tonight. Did a 12 hour day at work today and I was bone tired. I needed a pleasant, indulgent moment. There are 5 of us who are phone contacts for our suppliers. We are overworked on the best of days. We have commented that being air traffic controllers would be a break from the stress of our jobs. We are still each taking at least a day a week training the new guy, and we were worrying about another of the girls going on vacation next week and finding the time to cover for her. Today, another one of the girls called to say she was in the hospital with appendicitis. I feel very bad for her but I am miserable for me and the other girl who have to now cover for 3 other people. You know what, it is always some kind emergency there. I have been waiting for things to calm down for 11 years and I guess it just isn't going to happen. I am very good at what I do and when I am just me at work, I really rather like my job. But at 61, this constant pressure is getting very old.... Probably just tired. Will sign off for now.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:38 am

26-2 I am happy and content with how things are going. I feel like I am back on track with No S. It is becoming a habit and I like the habit. Weekend coming up, Yeah!!!!!!!!!!

Francois Tremblay · Post by **Francois Tremblay** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:47 am

Yes, it's a habit to gain for the rest of your life. Do you still have to think about it?

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 1:25 pm

That's an interesting question. Habit. Hmmmm. The first 21 days were a breeze for me. I thought, wow, this is my road. I can do this forever with my eyes closed. Then I started having days with funny stuff or total blow out days where I was back to saying, I'll start over tomorrow. Then I think I crossed a line when I decided to keep score of days on track and off, like a baseball score. I decided, I really want this to happen and I really want this to work. It addresses my needs and it's expectations aren't too hard on my lifestyle. So I am making it work. I guess it was a conscious decision that someone as slightly off the wall as me has found her place here. Restriction has never worked well for me. I am always questioning the wisdom of things like "I can't have beets but I can have Splenda" I don't think I got fat eating beets and I know I ain't eating Splenda. Way too whole foods for that. Soooo, long story even longer, every day is another decision to stay on track or not. There are days this is a breeze. There are days this is a bitch but on all days, this is the right spot for me and I know I am here forever. It took about 3 months for me to REALLY make that a conscious decision. Hope that answers your question.
Aren't all our convictions and commitments daily choices? We are either true to them or we fold. This is one of those daily choices for me. Actually, it always has been my choice what I eat but the choices are different since No S.
By the way, writing this has really helped me see where I am at with this and confirm my convictions. Thanks for posing the question and making me think it through.

Francois Tremblay · Post by **Francois Tremblay** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 1:58 pm

Yes, you are correct. People think there is a disconnect between the big things of life and the daily experience, but that's not true. Our life is made of nothing BUT small decisions, if you think about it. It's the accumulation of small decisions which make a large success or problem.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:59 pm

I just wanted to say that your post on the general discussion of "keeping score" really motivated me. I tend to go off-program completely at the first slip-up. I'm hoping this will get me back on track (I sure needed something). Thank you! I'm glad, too, that you are having such success - congratulations.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:41 am

I'm baaaack! The system didn't recognize me after my daughter made some changes on our computer. I couldn't remember my password so I had to get a new one assigned. Then I screwed that one up. Reinhard helped me get back on track and now I have my password written down and hopefully will not lose it.

Yes, I am at 3 failures and I blame the 4th of July being on a Tuesday. We had dinner with friends on Friday and it was at a lovely Thai restaurant so I decided to trade Sunday for Friday. So far so good. Had a great (if somewhat large) Saturday and a Sunday success. Then Monday, after ordering ice cream at Culvers, my husband said he was surprised I was having a treat on an N day. I said that the 4th was an S day and he said that would be great if it was the 4th!!! Oops so I ate the ice cream cone and thought I'd trade it for the actual 4th but that didn't fly so I am at 31 and 3 because I don't know what day it is......

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:45 am

It's *Saturday*????

LOL..

I wish!!!!

Hugs Sue!
Don't forget your password!

Why not make it 1234 or something really really easy to remember, even for us feebleminded types

LOL..

Just kiddin!

Love,

Deb

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 10:13 pm

Hi Sue,

I have been meaning to stop by your check-in and see how you're doing. I'm glad that your decision to count successes and failures but still keep moving forward is working for you, you know it makes a lot of sense to me too just in terms of living life. Another thing that you said really resonated with me:

every day is another decision to stay on track or not. There are days this is a breeze. There are days this is a bitch but on all days, this is the right spot for me and I know I am here forever.

I loved what you said because it totally hit home for me and I'm glad that you're in that mindset because I think it's the best place to be.

I also wanted to thank you for your encouragment since I've been with No-S (7 months including lurking time), if my memory serves me right you were the 1st or 2nd person to respond to my first post and I've really appreciated and valued your kind words and great motivation. I know that we can both get to where we want to be eventually, both no-s and life-wise. We just have to keep with it, and everyday just do the best we can. I wish you all the best and more. Have a beautiful successful day.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:38 pm

Thank you all so much for the encouragement and motivating words. I needed the motivation too. I had a rough week and had a couple of days that I just let go and survived. So the score is at 35 and 6 but I can live with that. I needed the break and I needed something is my life to not be hard for a couple of days.
Actually we had a large party at our house on Saturday and it was a blast but a lot of work. Then on Monday I went into work thinking the overtime was done because at sick and vacationing people would be back and I found out that the gal who had the surgery will be out another 2 weeks. I kind of did a nose dive then and have been fighting feeling blue and abused all week. But I am back on track and want to regain control of my life and that starts with No S. So today was a success. Yay!!!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 12:19 pm

38 and 6. Had a good Saturday. My intentions so far to make the weekends a little lighter is working well. I have been at a plateau for several monthes now and I have to make an effort to break new ground. I have upped my exercise as much as I can and I am still stuck in place. I think the plateau is my main reason for straying lately. Discouraging. Weekends have been total blowouts for quite a while and I think it is time to take them down a notch or two. I think that will help. Also, I think my meals need to be more balanced. Vegetables have been taking a back seat to carbs lately and I haven't been eating enough good, low fat protein either. Because we have been crazy busy at work and in the garden, we have been eating out a lot and when eating at home, eating pizza, convenience foods and high salt/fat items. Still No S but probably pretty calorific choices. SSSSoooo. this week is going to be about choices and recording what I eat here. Wish me luck (or I should say success because luck has nothing to do with it).

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:23 pm

Good luck and onward to success!!!
You are doing great Sue, so don't start that whole beat yourself up for S days and choices including as you put it "Calorific" or carb based foods..
because, in the final outcome, it's usually quantity and exercise that has the final say...
If you are on a plateau, welcome it.. It's an important, yet I'm sure still frustrating place to be.. Plateaus are a chance for our bodies and minds and lives to just catch up and see what's up with ourselves...Taking inventory without rocking any major boats.. They aren't inherently bad things.... But getting off of it naturally through just riding it out and then maybe adding a little more movement into your life, rather than blaming poor pizza and then seeking revenge on yourself for eating said "calorific" pizza (oh how pizza would rock my world right now!!!)
will just start that whole rollercoaster "diet mentality", which eventually, and I'm sure not too far away eventually, will get you pissed off and hating it!!!!!

Just wanted to get that out there, because I don't want you to start distracting yourself from the real issues with getting overly detailed here about more minute choices.. ie: carbs/ calories/ food logging....

If your S days really have been gorgefests, well then, maybe that's where to begin, and then just do regular NoS along with it?
Whatchathink my pangelic friend???

Love,

Debs

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:24 pm

Good advice Deb and thanks for taking the time and energy to help as always.

The weekends really have not been so much gorge fests as "treat" fests. I seem to have to fulfill every dream each weekend. I want popcorn, peanuts, ice cream, cookies, candy, pie, whatever else crosses my line of vision. And the part I don't like is that I want it because I want it and also because the "I better get it now because I won't be able to have it next week" fear is there. Yesterday is the perfect example. I had a piece of fresh blueberry pie. Awesome!! I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

But I also had 2 awful store bought cookies just because they were there. I had fudgsicles and peanuts and some cashews. I also had a pile of crackers because they were there and I could. I had been looking at them all week and couldn't wait to try them. They were just so,so but I still ate a lot of them. I went to bed last night overly full and not feeling the greatest. That's just counterproductive. I need to inject forthought into my choices and I am really very okay with that idea. Quality, not quantity. I will still enjoy the weekend snacks and treats, just be more discriminating.

Today was a success.
Cereal and blueberries with milk for breakfast Fresh blueberries, yum
Pasta salad, bread with a slice of cheese for lunch with a fresh peach thrown in. Also very yummy.
Supper will be chicken stir fry. Lots of veggies and basmati rice.
Good day. 39-6

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:50 pm

Hi Sue,

Reading about your urge to eat on S days things that you fear you won't be able to get to on N days. I'm starting to incorporate the "2-bite Rule" when eating a treat or dessert. The first 2 bites, I pay attention to them, I savour the food. How does it taste in my mouth, feel?, sound?, etc. I am trying to get every bit of sensual pleasure from those first 2 bites. Then, I ask myself, do I need more? Often I go for a 3rd bite, but it's rare for me to take a 4th bite. It's helping a lot, because now I'm still enjoying different foods, just eating a lot less of the treats. That's bound to result in weight loss! But more importantly, I'm learning how to savour, how to appreciate flavours.

I hope I'm not butting in, or am coming across as obnoxious, or both (an obnoxious buttinsky!), just want to offer an idea and see if it's something you would like to try.

Big hugs,
Operababe

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:20 pm

Sue,

I'm glad that you sound like you're still on the right track and moving forward. That's what it's all about, in my opinion right now, is just getting through the day and it's hard for awhile and then suddenly one day it just becomes easier again even if I had taken a break before and took awhile to get back into the rhythm.

If nothing else, think about what a scary,sad,negative (however it is for you) place you'd be in right now if you weren't sticking to no-s. Today might be hard, but it would be (far) worse if you were eating everything in sight. We both know this and this conclusion has been even more reinforced for me by seeing all the people who leave and come back to no-s. This is the answer and this is for life. Have a great day.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:31 am

40-7 Success with one funny sucker at work. Had to work until 8 tonight and I was feeling funky right before I went home so I chose a sucker to settle my head because it was better than a candy bar. Probably (actually more than probably) that was a failure but I am counting it as a success because it has been a very rough week and it took everything I had to fight off the candybar. That's a success if you ask me.

My sister, in the next town, had a house fire on Monday. Thank God they are alright but the house is a mess. Lots of damage and loss. She has had a really tough couple of years. About a year ago, she lost a one year old grandaughter to a rare disease. She (understandably) took it very hard and was just sort of coming back from that when this happened. We have been talking a lot and crying some. She's all depressed and feeling like she's being targeted by life so I am listening a lot and wishing I could help. Once again, time is all that can help.

My daughter who was rear ended last month and pushed into another car, has been seeing a therapist for her neck. It was just starting to feel better, when she was rear ended on Sunday at another stop sign. Now her neck is killing her again and this driver has really lousy insurance so they are hassling her and trying to get her to sign things and discuss the accident.
Also work is still very high stress. That at least should be ending soon because the girl on leave is coming back on the 31st. Can't be soon enough. For the 3 of us training and covering, the strain is really starting to show. It needs to be over. So, for these reasons, I am being a little easy on myself for the occassional slip. I am deep breathing, doing Qi Gong more, meditating and having the occassional glass of Vino and generally trying to stay calm and objective. Using lots of positive and affirmative thoughts to stay focused. Would be nice if life would settle down for a while though.

Operababe, and This is my path, and of course, Deb, thank you so much for your care and concern. It means more than you know. You are so right that the sheer number of people who come back after leaving proves that this is the place to be. And, it is so weird, Babe, that I just read the part of "Life is Hard, food is easy" last night where she talked about just taking 2 or 3 bites of a food and savoring the taste. I will definitely try that. I already do it with ice cream. I found out a couple of years ago that 2 or 3 spoonfuls of ice cream are delicious but if I ate the whole bowl or cone or whatever, I felt sweeted and riched out. Maybe it will work with other things as well and will mean that I don't have to curb the weekends.
Thanks again all and have a good night. Better days are ahead.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 2:15 pm

Hi Sue

I just posted this on Francois check in, but incase you miss that...

For a good company to buy fish oils, check out
www.nordicnaturals.com

They taste like strawberry and not fishy..
LOL..
How do they do it?

Got me!
LOL..

Have a nice day special Sue!
Peace and Love,

Debs

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:28 am

Hey Sue,

I say the sucker was a success! The nice thing too is that it takes FOREVER to finish a sucker, whereas a candy bar can be inhaled within 5 seconds flat. Suck your way to success!!! I think I'll get a T-shirt made up. "Suck it up and get beautiful" "It's good to suck" Ummmm..... maybe not, but I like how you handled the situation.

I can't believe the terrible luck your sister and daughter have had! A house fire is devastating, I know the one thing I'd hate to lose in a fire are my photographs. All those memories, gone. My heart goes out to you and your sister.

It must be so hard to watch your daughter suffering with this 2nd car accident. It's unbelievable how life throws us these huge curve balls. I hope she feels better soon.

Big hugs to you Sue, sounds like you're keeping your chin up, and I applaud you for continuing to move forward. I hope the 2 bite idea (or as I'm starting to call it "2 bite rule") is helping. Sometimes I think it's a bunch of little "tricks" that start to become a bunch of new habits, and before you know it, the weight's coming off and you're feeling great.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:08 am

Thank you for the incredible incouragement, all. I really appreciate it. I think my sister is starting to move on and look forward to the future. They had been talking about moving out of their old 2 story to a ranch and now they are thinking this may be the time. All in all it was as good weekend.

I am starting a new process as of today.

Once a week I will be entering my weight.

I am going to keep a daily score because I like it.

But what will be new for me is to list funny stuff on failure days and treats on S days. I want to shoot for honesty and I want to examine what motivated me or pushed me to sabotage myself. I have been doing that a lot over the last month or so. I don't intend to beat myself up or anything but I am hoping that listing possible reasons will help correct the behavior. I am the excuse queen and I think it is impeding progress on No S. So here goes.

Day one- starting weight 198
1-0
Sunday, Sday and a birthday party.

Breakfast- broccoli egg and cheese omelet with 1.5 eggs (I didn't find a chicken that laid half eggs. I split 3 eggs with husband), english muffin, blueberries and peaches. Delicious.
Lunch- cucumber, brat on a bun, a few crackers and hummus
Supper- Chicken, beans and corn on the cob
Treats-too many. lots of chips, peanuts, 2 mini candy bars, ice cream cake , cheese and peanut M&M's.

No judgements but for what I intended, the treats were over the top.

Non judgemental questioning told me I needed down time more than I needed a party. I could have stayed home and begged off the party but this was my husband Tom's brother and Tom had really been there for me and my family this last week, and I wanted to do the same for him and his family. But I was over tired and felt kind of peopled out from being with family so much the last week. Motivator: over estimating energy. Not taking enough time for my needs.

Good. Now on to Monday.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:48 am

Hi Pangelsue - sorry to hear about the rotten time you have been having, but hopefully now things can only get better.

Good luck on starting over - thats just what I'm doing too, I strayed a little from the straight and narrow last week.

Best wishes Daisy

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:01 pm

Hey Sue, I encourage you to focus on only worrying about N days and "funny stuff"....

S days, in my opinion, really should be "rule free zones"....

Of course, look at them and be "honest" with yourself, but once you start analyzing them, you truly are diverting your attention away from where it will really benefit you.. On N days..

For what it's worth, you really, again in my opinion, didn't go to wild on the weekend..
Now if you ate all that every day, including N days, I'd be coming over to show you some "tough love"!!!

But you're not!

Okay, hope you don't mind me noodging you, but I am a firm believer that S days (unless you really go nuts, and nuts I mean is a half gallon of ice cream with a whole pie and a huge bag of chips), not peanuts! LOL, should be fun and restriction/*worry* free!!!!!!!!

Have a great week Sue!
I'm rooting for you..
Okay off to do some SG (I can't open my eyes so I'll have to do it by feeling! LOL.. zzzzzzz......)

Peace and Love,

Debs

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 3:57 am

Thanks, Deb for the noodging and I appreciate where you are coming from. I don't intend to cramp my style on weekends at all. I am just going for accountability and trying to get a handle on my motivation before I binge, not after. I have been fat for a lot of years and I am starting to learn why. It's a good thing. I'll try it for a while and see if it flys.

Day 2
2-0
Breakfast: cereal, fruit and milk
Lunch: Quesidila (spelling) homemade and good but I had them 3 times in the last week and they are getting boring. Will have to search out something new and quick. Also had strawberries. Delicious. Can't beat summer for fruit.
Supper: Peanuts, cherries, pork stirfry and noodles. Also glass of plum wine. All very tasty.

The peanuts were borderline funny stuff. They would have fit on the plate but they were a while before supper. Head hunger as Life is Hard, Food is Easy calls it. Crunchy stuff for getting rid of some frustration and a little anger after work. I am going to have a 40 calorie glass of carrot juice before bed for a while. I have been sleeping light and waking up too soon. Some people post here that bringing up their blood sugar a little before bed helps that. Can't hurt to try.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:59 am

Day 3
3-0
Breakfast: egg and toast with mixed fresh fruit. Hmmmmmmmm fresh fruit. I love it
Lunch: tomatoes, carrots, and radishes with soy crackers and garlic dill cheese. Delicious but didn't bring enough so I added a vending machine pack of peanuts.
Supper: large salad with strawberried, sunflower seeds, bleu cheese and celery. 1/2 small deep dish pizza. Small handful of peanut (my husband rightfully calls me the peanut princess). I doooo love them. Glass of red wine. Very satisfying meal.
Half cup of carrot juice at bedtime.

Success. On Monday I think I finished my last day of covering for the gal out on 2 month leave. It feels very good and I am really looking forward to work settling down. I'd like to cut the overtime.

Good night

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:42 pm

Sue, I've copied and pasted my last posting on my check in thread:

Sue! How could I have missed your beautiful message!!! My apologies, because your words are truly wonderful. You were so sweet to say "Someday, we'll say we knew her when."! And "a song of love and caring, and we are all blessed by the performance". So beautiful! Thank you!

I wanted you to know that sometimes my brain can only hold so many things, and for some reason my gray matter was on cruise that day. Must be the heat and humidity.

And while I'm here, I'm extremely impressed with your menu! It's good to see you're eating healthy foods and enjoying yourself. It's also good to know that you'll be back to regular hours at work. You're an inspiration to me: healthy foods, balanced life. Yay Sue!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:11 pm

I'm baaaaack. I was having too many failures and didn't know why so I stopped beating myself up about it. I gave up until I remembered why I wanted it. Found out lower blood pressure readings was one motivator (don't want to do pills if I can avoid it) and feeling bloated and awful and living on rolaids is the other. Would like to be thinner too but that can't be a motivator for me because when it doesn't work, I get cranky. So for now I want to feel better, be healthier and maybe lose a couple of pounds.

First time around, weekends were way too large and meals were large and heavy. And according to Reinhard, when someone asked him "what if I mound my plate and eat everything in sight on S days?", he replied "Then I can't help you. You will be fat and die young". Good reality check, Reinhard. Thanks.

Monday- success. 1-0
No funny stuff and meals very healthy.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:15 am

Success 2-0. Very healthy meals and right on track. Feel good about my day and looking forward to tomorrow.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Aug 31, 2006 4:02 am

Success 3-0 healthy meals and it feels good to be moving forward again. Not too bad so far. Lots of hunger moments but interestingly, when I wait them out, they go away so is it true hunger if distraction gets rid of it? We shall see.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:40 am

Success 4-0
Very healthy day again. Getting a little easier. Someone brought cookies and donuts to work. That was rough but this time it was rough for a different reason. They were store bought cookies and donut holes. I don't like either one so I had to face the fact that I was having trouble not taking some of each only because of the split personality thing we all have going on. The smart, healthy well adjusted me, knew the donuts and cookies wouldn't taste good and weren't good for me, but the spoiled child was throwing a temper tantrum and screaming to get my way. The well adjusted me won out today and that is a good feeling. The child is still pouting a bit but I have a feeling that child will start to behave better if I don't give in so often. I know it sounds kind of flaky to talk about split personality and weight loss but the more I read on this board about people who have incredible reasons to lose weight and desire and motivation up the ying yang, the more ridiculous it seems that a handful of chips or an ounce of chocolate candy can turn that resolve to water. Direct opposite views living in the same head, I'm tellin' ya. LOL. I read on several threads tonight that people were soooo hungry that they had to have a little handful of this or that. I've done it a thousand times myself. If we are really soooo hungry, 10 peanuts or a handful of M&M's wouldn't fill us up but they do soothe the child with the temper tantrum. Well the kid with the attitude and the new healthier me are going to knock heads from now on because the healthy me is winning.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:45 pm

Success-S day 5-0
Because my life style often says I will party on Fridays and Saturdays more often than Saturdays and Sundays I have decided this time around that I will make an executive decision on weekends depending on plans as to which 2 days are S days. That means that I won't have to miss the fun on Fridays and have an S day on Sunday when often don't do anything special. This is a holiday weekend and I will choose 3 out of the 4 for CONTROLLED S days. Friday was the first S day of the 3. We had friends and my daughter over and my husband made the most awesome Thai meal. We had a great time with the friends drinking wine and sitting around a campfire eating Smores. Lovely and wouldn't have missed it for the world.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 1:17 pm

Success 6-0
Good day. S Day but I had a choice of pizza or something else Italien for lunch at a nice Italien restaurant and then I saw a large page of interesting salads. I tried the one I thought was most intersesting and it was wonderful. It matched the wine I chose perfectly and it was a memerable meal. I will return there and have it again. The day had a few curves in it (a few too many corn chips for supper but fewer than I would have had at another point in my life) but all in all a good S day and less out of control than to date. 2 days left to the weekend and one needs to be an N day.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:41 am

Success 7-0
Another S Day. Did pretty good. Went at little overboard tonight on potato salad but I had a lot of chances to overindulge today and that was the only one I folded to. I am looking forward to tomorrow being an N day. Friday, Saturday and Sunday are enough days off.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:20 am

Hi Karate Sue!!!!
Hope you have a nice week!

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 11:11 am

Success 8-0
Good day. My husband and I worked outside the whole day so lots of exercise yesterday (shopping) and today (gardening). Meals were healthy and organic. Had a delightful wine with lunch (Shale Ridge Chardonnay) and homemade pasta sauce with fresh picked beans. Yum.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 3:51 am

Failure. Tense all day at work. A good friend had a fight with a co worker and was crying and carrying on all day. Tried to be there for her but I feel she really overracted and told her so. She has had a very rough year and I feel she has been bringing a lot of it to work and taking it out on people who irritate her. Hard to be supportive. Suggested she use the company facilities and talk to someone about the life situations she has been experiencing. Then I got home and my daughter was waiting to join us for supper. She has been helping a friend and her 2 kids by giving them a place to stay. Lots of issues at play here too. Some good and some enabling. I found myself mindlessly eating while I was preparing supper. Snack after snack. Not tons but definitely mindless and compensating for the discomfort involved with conflict and confrontation. I hate both and far prefer to be Switzerland and stay out of things but I care about both these people and had to get involved. So 8-1 and I am ok with the trade I guess. Hope tomorrow is more relaxing. Deep calming breath and get ready for bed.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:01 pm

Sue, Just wanted to pop over and say "thanks" for what you wrote to Operababe. I was browsing for inspiration / motivation and found it there in your words. You just never know who you are helping!

You've also helped me tremendously with the whole "keeping score" thing. I'm still doing it and it is far more motivating than anything else I've tried. So, thanks for that, too.

Sorry you had a rough day & hope things become calmer for you.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:27 am

Failure but I know why.
Got amazing new energy from the boards today so I know tomorrow will be better. I can do this and it will be worth while. I will gain energy and strength and progress if I just hang in there.

8/2

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:08 pm

Failure. Last one for a while because I am armed with motivation and cuz I have a plan. More later, when it works. 8-3 At least my tombstone will say, she never gave up. Got some pretty looney ideas but never gave up. LOL.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:20 pm

Friday and Saturday were my S days. They have been for a while and will probably continue to be.
Fridays the gang at work all go out and celebrate the end of the week and/or we go out with friends on Friday night. Saturdays, we usually have plans or we make plans. Sundays are usually quiet. We rarely have plans. I was feeling deprived of a treat on Fridays and like I didn't need or want a treat on Sundays. So I have been having 2 S days and one N day sometime between Friday and Monday based on plans for the weekend.

Had a successful S- Friday (to make it an S Day, maybe I should call it Sriday. Haha) and a successful Saturday. Another good thing about Sunday being an N day is Monday's seem easier.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:15 am

Success 11-3
On to Monday

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:07 pm

Success 12-3
So far the new, wapped out plan is working. I will go with anything that gets me to my goal. Too new to share. Anyone reading this will think I've gone over the edge. When it has brought a 10 pound weight loss, I will consider it an official success. More later, maybe.

Post by **reinhard** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:15 pm

Looks like a good run, Sue. Keep it up! Sorry it's been so long since I've popped in here. I'm impressed at how you keep coming back after setbacks. You are bound to succeed if you keep at it like this. When I attack a problem that has rebuffed my efforts several times, I think of myself as a bulldog that bites and doesn't let go. The bulldog might get knocked around a bit, but that problem is a goner. Not the most attractive image, but somehow I find it motivating.

Eatin' Free · Post by **Eatin' Free** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 3:55 pm

Hey, Sue, sounds like your N and S days are similar to what mine are becoming...Fridays and Saturdays are the "get together with friends and family" days, while Sundays are pretty much just rest days at home; much easier for me to make Sunday the N day and Friday the S.

Peace, Valerie

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:00 am

Success 13-3 Good healthy meals and choices today. Actually not very hungry either. Good day. On to Wednesday.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:47 am

Success 14-3 Too busy to notice time at work. Hours are flying by because it is our company's year end. I am going on vacation to a bed and breakfast Friday though Sunday. Can't wait. Hope to have lots of quiet time, walking along the beach and relaxation. Sturgeon Bay is a beautiful part of Wisconsin. Party on Sunday too for my brother's house warming. Monday and Tuesday off for my husband's birthday party. I am planning very carfully for these 5 days to ward off failure. I want to have fun not just eat.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 4:53 am

Having fun can mean everything BUT food. It is hard to adapt some of our societal party behaviours such as snacking throughout the party but you have the tools!

Dance in the middle of the room, wisk someone off for a private conversation, play a board game or cards or strip poker, make an oregami masterpiece out of napkins, rearrange their bathroom medicine cabinet or kitchen cupboards...there's all kind of fun stuff to keep our mind off of the wonderful food theyve put out in front of our salivating mouths. So have fun, not food.

Best of luck Sue.... you always keep coming back and thats great!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:38 am

Lots of good suggestions. I will certainly carry them with me. Thanks. I am very excited about the get away because it has been a long time since we did something like this. I will check back in on Sunday or Monday. In the meantime, success 15-3. I was doing a lot of prep for the weekend and didn't taste or nibble. Yay!!!

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:18 am

Thats great news!! Keep us posted. I'm proud of you today!

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:44 pm

Hey Sue, Just popping in to check on you after responding to you on my thread. It's been a while since I've been at the computer. Looks like you're racking up the successes! Yea. How did the getaway and extended parties go? I liked gettnbusy's "have fun, not food" ideas. I have a hard time not partaking in those social / sit-around-and-eat situations.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 12:04 pm

Back from vacation and everybody's support and suggestions really helped. Thanks, guys. I gained some weight but it was less than I expected and I think it is mostly water gain because we ate out so much and my body is really salt sensitive. Salt is so hard to avoid when you eat out or at someone else's house. I would have opted for salads more but the baby spinach thing had me nervous. I think the extra weight will be gone in a day or so of eating home. I am rested, relaxed and ready to hit it again.
There was a pot luck at work and I did just great. Avoided all the bad stuff including dessert! I just had one plate too. Then I had to stay late at work and I didn't have much for supper. When I got home, I was feeling lousy and had heartburn. Ate some grahem crackers. Technically a failure but I was hungry and not feeling well. I will call it a sick day and because of the spectacular success at lunch, I will count today as a success. 16-3

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:12 am

Success 17-3, I guess. I wish I could get past the hunger thing a bit. It is definitely the elephant in the room that I am trying not to notice is there. When I did my first 21, I was amazed at not feeling hunger. Since then it has been a struggle most days. The honeymoon period is over. What I eat doesn't seem to make a difference. I think it is emotion/mood driven. It would also help if I lost some weight. I have lost a total of 5 lbs and that was all in the first month. I have been losing and gaining the same 3 additional lbs ever since. I am trying to find the magic place where the rules matter but I don't think about them all the time.

TOO much hunger - maybe the opposite is more to the point, too little satiety. I need to get more satisfaction out of my life. What would help fill that need? Come up with a list of suggestions.

TOO little weight loss - Why? Sabatage myself on weekends. Always regain what I lost. Weekends have to be smaller. That sounds kind of sad but so does failure over and over and over again. Even when planning meals, I need to realize that at 61, I can't eat like a 30 year old and lose weight. It is harder at this age and I need to focus on quality, not quantity.

TOO large on the S days - One treat per day is probably the answer to this one-again, kind of sad about that but facts is facts.

TOO little exercise - Need to slowly up this. I was very active until about 10 years ago when my body started turning on me and movement became more and more difficult. Need to pace myself and add as much movement as possible to my life.

These stumbling blocks are holding me back and until I am willing to put the effort into overcoming them, I will not be successful. I have a score of 17-3 but I have not lost weight in monthes. I need to refocus my efforts and decide if I am doing this or if I am talking about doing this. Karate do or karate don't, no karate maybe. Perfecting a lifestyle takes effort, struggle and sacrifice. Am I ready for it?

Benjumanji · Post by **Benjumanji** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:41 pm

panglesue,
Could you find certain low calorie foods that pack a lot of satisfaction? For me, for instance, totally fresh green beans with a tiny bit of butter and salt/pepper, perfectly steamed, taste SO good. You can eat a huge mound of them without doing a lot of damage on the calorie front. Maybe perfectly ripened fruit, or fish prepared in a really delicious way.

I've had 2 not-so-great eating days this week, and I am just now recognizing that it's because my meals haven't been very satisfying. My husband usually cooks for us--he's a terrific cook. When he doesn't, I resort to take-out food or fast food/cafeteria food, which is never nearly as tasty or perfectly cooked. (I think there is also this element of feeling like he cares for me, and the enjoyment of sitting down and having a conversation over our food.) This week he's been working late and is stressed out.

I'm also beginning to experience that metabolic slow-down you mentioned. I'm 42 so it's just starting, but it is noticeable.

Anyway, don't give up!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:16 pm

Thanks for the thoughts, Carol. Quality of the food is an important issue with me as well. My husband and I are great cooks and we plan awesome menus that work well for my diet (he doesn't need to). But like your husband, I work too many hours and am stressed a lot at work. When I come home, I am burned out and looking for a quick fix. That, through habit, has always been food. As part of the plan I outlined above, I am looking to renew my energy in other ways. Meditation, a short walk, reading a book in our garden are all better choices. As the lady who wrote the book by the same name said "Life is Hard Food is Easy" Breaking out of 50 year old habits is tough but I am a survivor and I'll hang in there especially with the support of all of the great people here on the forum like you.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:34 pm

OK - NOw here is MY 2 cents....
On Sunday nights I make a few entrees for the week. I broil 4 chicken breasts - 3 lemon & garlic (lots of fresh squeezed lemon! YUM!) & 1 some other flavor (usually BBQ or Teriyaki). After they cool, I cube them and put them in containers in the fridge. I also cook up 2 cups of brown rice with pepper and salt and 2 cups of some small pasta like shells or penne. I throw it all in the fridge and I've got my freakin meals for the week. It only takes about an hour to make all this food and now I get INSTANT meals when I get home if I'm starving. If I'm having a hunger attack, I grab a few (3-4) cubes of chicken cold and pop them in my mouth and that usually works. You can pour whatever sauce you want to make whatever meal you want. High protein, good tasting, low waiting. Now I know a million people will tell you that rice, pasta & bread, etc is bad for you. I say fugg em. I think they don't know what they are talking about. Carbs rock. When I raced bikes that is all I would eat the day before a race - pasta, pasta, pasta. They are great for energy. They just can't be ALL you eat, that's all. There are nations FILLED with people that eat rice 3 times a day. It's good for you, go ahead & eat it. Moderation is always the key on No S or any lifestyle of eating. Anyway... if you have time once per week it will help take that immediate craving away cus you WILL have something nutritious and HANDY to grab instead of disgustingly bad for us fast food or a frozen dinner (almost equally non-nutritive).

Now, your 2nd daughter is going to watch you and be rooting for you....
Good luck mom!
~Christi~

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:24 pm

Thanks for the great ideas. I have done what you suggest a number of times and it works very well. Planned, easy to grab meals are a great help especially when getting ready for work in the morning and there is lots to get done in a short periond of time.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:44 pm

Here's the story. I do great during the week for the most part. The weekends are a disaster for me. We go out to eat and I splurge like crazy, I eat all kinds of snacks and totally undo my whole week. Feeding frenzy is the mode. I have waited 6 months for this to go away as many on the forum here say it will and nothing has changed. I am amazed when I read someone say, they have totally lost their taste for treats and treat S days almost like No S days. I have no concept of what that woudl feel like. I feel the hunger growing Monday through Thursday until it is almost unbearable by the weekend. Then I go nuts. That has to stop. I know of no other way to do it than impose structure on the S days. I feel like I have never really embraced the concept here. The whole week, I keep hanging in there for the S days when I can be ME, the eater and not have to think, just shovel. Again that mind frame has to change or this will never work.

Monday through Thursday will be no S days as always. Meditations and slow movement exercises, short walks to build up arthritis resistance to movement will be the goal on a daily basis. I will also report relaxing things I do to take the focus off food. This is a must. Survival thinking until S days, has to change.

When I know the structure of my weekend, I will choose which 2 S days will be my plan for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I will plan on 1 treat for those days. Continue with pleasure activities that do not include food.

I know I need to do this because I am A) not losing weight, I am gaining and B) I am playing games with myself again and finding excuses to overeat. I have had 50 years of practice. and C) I am obsessing about food again and that is one of my ploys to kill any diet I have ever been on. I get so anxious obsessing about food that I decide this isn't working and I give up. I tell ya, I'm an expert at this dodging reality stuff. I don't like to diet and I look for ways to sabotage the effort and give up. Not gonna happen, not gonna happen. Not this time. This diet is easy and fits my life style.
Day one. Choice time.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:26 am

Success 1-0
Breakfast- fruit and yogurt
Lunch- 1 egg and 2 pancakes
Supper-cuban sweet corn, bean burger patty with salsa, tomatoes and a roll.
Did lots of shopping so that was my limited exercise for today.
Good night.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:35 am

Success- 2-0
Breakfast- Cereal, fruit, milk, tst and coffee
Lunch- Salad, soup, garlic cheese bread
Supper- Sweet corn, black beans, spaghetti squash and some weird stuff my husband made with vegetables. (I picked out the vegetarian recipe and he made it correctly but it was strange to say the least).
Exercise- Qi Gong felt good. It has been a while.

Relatively easy to stay on plan today. Did a lot of relaxing breathing when I was hungry. It passed.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:11 am

Success- 3-0
Breakfast- egg, toast, half a large pear (delicious)
Lunch- half cup of spaghetti squash, 2 oz of hamburger, handful of grapes and bowl of home made pea soup a friend brought to work for me. Wonderful.
Supper- Because lunch was a little larger than usual, I made a Thai chicken cashew dish with rice and had a smaller portion with a nice glass of wine.

Exercise- walked about 2-3 blocks. Knees argued with the concept but air smelled autumn fresh.
Went to the chiropractor tonight and my back feels so much better than it has for a while.

Good day all in all. Kind of hungry tonight but so is most of the world and they are surviving. So will I. Good night all.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:54 am

Success- 4-0
Breakfast- bagel, creamcheese and coffee
Lunch- Aspargas soup, couple slices of cheese and an apple
Supper- friend was over and supper was a little large but I think would still plate just fine. Salad, pork chop, red potatos, green beans, wine. A little cheese and a couple of grapes for dessert. Might of overdone the wine a bit because I usually do one. Tonight it was a definite two.

Exercise- Tai Chi

Good time, good friends, good night.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 2:14 am

Success- 5-0

Breakfast- Egg and toast and yogurt
Lunch- half a pork chop, 2 small red potatoes and green beans, apple
Supper- mediterranean chicken, pasta with fire oil and broccoli, wine

Exercise- Qi Gong

12 hours at work today, sick of computers, Good night

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:36 am

Sue,

I admire you so much for sticking to the fight. You can do it!! We all can do it!! I found this poem, the author is anonymous but it's very inspirational, like you've been to me and I'm sure many others.

Don't Quit:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit!

Have a beautiful day and thanks for your caring and motivation.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:35 pm

Good luck this weekend. They are sometimes disasters for me too. I think keeping S days more as a "sometimes" as Reinhard suggested in his original dissertation for treats is probably a better idea for you & I since we have such a hard time when we have the opportunity to go carte blanc.

Good luck! I will be thinking about you.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:16 am

Thank you so much guys for your constant support and good wishes. I love the poem and it has a lot to say about staying power. I will remember it.

And today was a success and a much better S day than usual. I was going to have one snack. I had 2 but they were reasonable. I had a small bag of popcorn at work and single scoop custard after a small supper. I liked this day and a controlled S day is like having your cake and eating it tool I had some treats and still feel good about my day. Win, win.
Success- 6-0

Went for just a short walk today because it is my day off. Also tomorrow I will participate in an AIDS walk and that could be long and kind of a stretch for me. We will see.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:44 am

Success and what a day! I managed only 2 snacks. I had corn chips as an appetizer with supper and a mocha granola bar for dessert along with chocolate covered almonds from Whole Foods. Yummy.

The AIDS walk was terrific. The groups raised $402.000.00 and the governor was there along with local Milwaukee and state officials. BD Wong was the guest speaker and was very eloquent. We had a beautiful day for the walk. There was a 5 K trail and a 10 K. I was very proud to have completed the 5K. I will have sore ankles and knees tomorrow but it felt wonderful. The organizers were at the end of the walk and cheered all of us as we completed our trek. Wonderful.

Success and definitely 7-1 Also very proud of 2 successful S days with just 2 small treats each day. I have the power and the choice to make this happen. Now I am wrecked tired and going to bed.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:51 am

Success- 8-1 but a tough success. Bone hungry all day long. Yesterday I could have skipped eating almost the whole day. If all days were like yesterday, I'd be thin and gorgeous. Well, thin anyway. But today was the dead opposite. Weird. We tried a new brand of organic brownie mix to give as a welcome to the neighborhood treat to new neighbors. I tasted a small bite to see if I ever want to buy the mix again (I do) but that was the only funny stuff. I am good with that.
I hope tomorrow is one of the easy days. By the way, knees okay but ankles really sore. Will be better tomorrow. Because if the pain factor, I did some cleaning today but no other real exercise.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:11 pm

I think cleaning is real excercise if you sweat for 30 minutes +
Just my 2 cents

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:36 am

Success- 9-0

Not too bad a day. Had to wait too long for supper because of work so that I had to think about slowing down to enjoy it.

Breakfast- toast and peanut butter (in a hurry so no fruit)
Lunch- Half a pork chop, 2 small red pototes and green beans
Supper- cherry chicken, sweet potato and broccoli. Small handful of peanuts, wine

This many successes is good times. I'm liking it.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:07 pm

Thanks so much for what you had to say on my check-in page. You made me cry. Thanks for the support. I don't even know what to say except that. Thanks thanks thanks.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:48 pm

Hiya Sue! Your successes are stacking up - yea for you. I'm impressed with your 5K - what a great thing!

I finally seem to be getting the hang of this & have been pondering the "long term" idea of it. I think it just might work. Thanks, much, to you and your system of keeping score - it really helps me!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 3:54 am

Success 10-0
Wow! Those success days are stacking up. Thanks, Flsunshine and gettenbusy. It was a lousy day and your support couldn't have come at a better time. You are the best.
Crazy day at work and brought some of the craziness home. Snapped at my daughter and wonderful husband (who had made supper) and I apologized but the fun time we might have had was spoiled somewhat. I hate it when that happens. Can't take it back so will have to move on but darn.... I guess they have bad days too.

Breakfast- egg, chees and ham sandwich from Hardee's. Greasy but in a hurry.
Lunch- small serving of lasagna and green beans
Supper- chili and pasta, glass of wine

Good night and here's to a better tomorrow.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:26 pm

Success 11-0

Breakfast- WW pancakes and a little syrup, coffee
Lunch- cup of chil macaroni and half cup of corn, grapes
Supper- Husband made delicious tuna pasta salad with artichokes, sun dried tomatoes, jalepenos, olives and all the rest of the regular stuff. We had it on a bed of lettuce with a nice white wine. Delicious.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:01 pm

Success 12-0
Good day. Forgot to post but day was a success. Will record Friday (S day later).

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:10 am

Sue,

I'm very happy for your successes, keep going strong!! And thanks so much for your support, it means a lot to me and I'm sure to everyone else on this board that you leave little "gifts" of encouragement to

Have a glorious S-day tomorrow.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 4:42 am

Thank you for the support too Jenn. It is always such a nice surprise to come to my site and find a thoughtful comment from a friend.

Friday and Saturday were S days and much better than usual but still ate more than I intended. I was happy with the decisions I made to not eat some things. It means I am giving thought to choosing the right treats and not just grabbing every treat. Right path, just need more tweeking.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 12:23 am

Success-15-0

Success but too heavy on fat and salt I think. We worked in the garden all day and grabbed a quite but salty lunch and a supper too high in fat.

Breakfast- Raisin bran with half a banana and milk. Toast with peanut butter and jam
Lunch- hot dog, mix and eat organic mac and cheese, broccoli thrown into to the mix as well. Also had a cup of squash soup to drink.
Supper- leftover lasagna and aspargus. Salad.

Exercise- 10-15 minute walk and lots of garden clean up.

On to Monday.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:36 am

Hi Pangel Sue!!!
Hope you are well!
Congrats on the success today!
Felt like dropping in and giving you a hug

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:25 am

Success- 16-0

Thanks Deb! How did you know I needed a hug today?

Breakfast- egg, toast, raspberries and coffee
Lunch- half a pork chop, 2 small red potatoes and green beans. Also an Asian pear (really good)
Supper- peach nectar glazed chicken, red potatoes and carrots. Handful of cashews.

Exercise- Qi Gong

Woke up with a sinus headache. had it all day. Still sort of there but duller. Going to bed.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:53 am

Success- 17-0
Good day. Not too hungry today. I love those days and wish I had more of them. Yet it was high carb. So much for that theory. I think for me success and my mood have so much to do with how "hungry" I think I am. When I feel like a failure or my mood is way down, I feel like I'm starving. MMmmmm.

Breakfast- raisin bran, half a banana and peanut butter toast
Lunch- leftover chicken and garlic pizza and an apple
Supper- handful of cashews. A chick pea, tomato, broccoli and pasta dish, wine

Exercise- Tai chi and a short walk at work.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:49 am

Success 18-0
Breakfast- egg, toast, jelly, asian pear and coffee
Lunch- leftovers from supper last night with a little chicken added.
Supper- My husband made some cabbage rolls but they turned out gross so we ended up eating squash, 2 hot dogs (no buns) and corn. Also a handful of cashews. Large wine. Got our raises at work.

Good night.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:22 pm

That number keeps on climbing Sue...
Great success for you! YAY!
Great big hugs for you!!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:57 am

Success- 19-0
Today was my nephew's 16th birthday so I took a special day. The only thing special in it was a piece of cake and ice cream so it was still a good day. He had a friend over and they were delightful and silly as only 16 year olds can be.

Breakfast- pancakes, piece of bacon and blueberries with a little syrup
Lunch- large salad with chicken, mandarin oranges, almonds. blue cheese and dressing
Supper- wonderful chinese restaurant. Lots of vegetbles, tofu.noodles and thai peanut sauce. Yum. Was all you can eat but I had 1 average plateful. Plenty and delicious. Cake and cream dementhe ice cream

I need to plan better in the morning. My days go much better with some exercise but I usually sleep until the last minute and then am rushed. Need to work up a plan for that.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 4:41 am

Sucess- 20-0 I am glad this was an S day because I will call it a success even though it was way in excess of what I would like. I hope to counter it tomorrow with an S day that feels more under my control. Fun but not scary.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 4:45 am

Success- 21-0
S day and too large. Still need to work on the S days being smaller. Worked 3 or 4 hours in the garden so lots of fresh air and exercise.

I am glad to have reached the 21 day mark again but I know for me that is not enough time to feel really confident yet. I have been there before and then blown it. I am in the process of changing my attitude toward food and that is the only thing that will really change anything for me. I need to de-emphasise food in my head and rob it of it's perceived power over me. When the commitment is in my head, then the habit will follow. I have a way to go on my journey yet, but I now never doubt for a minute that I am committed to the journey and I, I am the leader of the expedition, not some diet guru telling what I feel, think and should eat.

It was once American to be a self styled free thinker. We now too often don't trust our instincts and look to others to tell us how to feel and act behave. Responsibility for our actions always seems to rest with someone else, our parents, our schools, our neighborhood, our peers. our government. Thanks Reinhard for reminding us we are in charge of us.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 3:42 am

Success-22-0 Tiny bit of funny stuff but a strange day so I am letting it pass. Been feeling very anxious lately but that is a pattern sometimes for me. I am coping better than usual but very difficult. So just for today, I am not counting 3 almonds and a nibble off my husband's piece of fudge. New neighbors brought the fudge over and I wanted the whole pan and just had a very small nibble.

Breakfast- egg toast raspberries and yogurt
Lunch- bean soup and toast asian pear
Supper- spaghetti squash, spaghetti meat sauce and aspergas and bread.

Lots of shopping with my daughter for exercise.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 5:14 pm

Hiya, Sue, just popping in to see how you're doing. I've been reading your posts on the main board and getting inspired again - thanks.

Looks like you're doing great - 22 days on - hurray! I'm going through a bit of a rise in the "failure" side of my score, but, like you, I'm trying to work on the big picture and my eating habits in general. I still think it's better...

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 9:05 pm

heya mom

Was wondering what your response to the personal acccountability we are all trying to achieve here is as far as what we do when we "catch" our selves being irresponsible. Maybe this is the key to catching it quicker, and reprogramming our minds to not react so poorly when we DO catch ourselves messing up. Taking responsibility may just include a change of paradigm AND of action. Perhaps we were always seeing the errors and responding poorly and that's what kept us irresponsible? Hmmm... Id love to hear your thoughts.
Sorry for busting in on your check in page but I'm still pretty selfish and this was really just addressed to you kinda

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 4:26 am

Thanks for the pat on the back Flsunshine! Encouragement is always appreciated.

Thoughtful question, Gettnbusy, kid. I'll respond on your thread.

Success for these 2 days. Both were hard days and I made classic good decisions to avoid, seconds, fudge, and strawberries and ice cream. Party time both days and had lots of fun, ate a plateful of good food and no more both days. I am happy with these decisions. Hope they pay off. Need more exercise though. Been talking myself out of it lately and that ain't cool.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 6:59 am

I liked what you had to say. And you are right at the bottom line - if I am not responsible for myself and my choices, who is? Well, it definitely aint my mother - just ask her! LOL

What I am trying to do is to find out how to change my current paradigm from what you described - the beating myself up (I was raise catholic and guilt is second nature) and recognizing the destructive behavior part; learning new ways to deal with being "bad" so its easier to move on. I think you said it simply and best when you said that your choices were going to be good some days & not good some other days and that if we continue to make more good choices then bad food choices we will succeed.

I suppose if not, we will be back here next year even heavier, huh?

So that, in a nutshell, is probably the answer I was looking for. Although it will be a struglle to let go of beating myself up over every little thing. The catholic school girl in me is just DYING for attention & rulers & the Nuns! LOL

BTW - U R doing sooo great. I see ya fallin down but it certainly isn't often or consistently or the end of your plan!! The thing I like reading in your thread is that you constantly get back on that horse - even if you've had no progress; you still keep going. I admire that about you.

Keep it up and thanks so much for all your words you've always offered up. One of the best parts of being in here is you & Deb & David & Hikermom. I just love yall.
TTFN!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:26 am

Success-25-0
Breakfast- egg toast,yogurt and raspberries
Lunch- squash and peas and peanuts. Weird combination but I was in a hurry.
Supper- homemade egg rolls, rice and stir fried vegatables. Little heavy but good. Haven't made them in a long time.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:04 am

Success with some funny stuff and a big yipee at the end. 26-0

I knew I was going to a pot luck tonight and I was kind of worried about plating and desserts. I ate a normal breakfast and a small lunch (just in case supper was a little larger than normal). Lunch however was definitely too small and supper was later than planned. I started feeling kind of shaky hungry on the way there so I ate some peanuts (the funny stuff). But now for the yipee part. I had an average size plate of food with a minimum of salty, or fatty stuff. AND best of all, no dessert. I just bypassed that part of the array of food and then tossed my plate when everyone else was going back for dessert. I felt very good about that. So I think I will ignore the funny stuff and call today a success.
Now on to my weekend (Friday and Saturday). I know for sure there is a caramel apple in my future one day and something chocolate the next. Probably going to skip the salty stuff this weekend. Salt doesn't like me and I am liking it less and less too.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:33 pm

You Rock Sue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice dessert evasion!!!!!
Good for you!!!

Have a lovely weekend and enjoy that apple!
Don't forget to brush!

Peace and Love,

Deb

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:26 pm

I agree with what you said about not accepting the whole guilt circle anymore and choosing the responsibility part. What actions are you going to take when it comes up? I was thinking something like making myself excercise or something like that. But then again that won't necessarily work all the time. Do you have a suggestion?

BTW - u r doin great

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:54 am

Success- 27-0
Thanks Gettnbusy and Deb. So nice to hear from you both.

This was an S day for me. I had popcorn and peanut M&M'S Both were very good. We went out for supper but I kept it at petite tenderloin,baked potato and part of a spinach/artichoke appetizer.
Had 2 sips off a pumpkin custardcinno at Culvers and my husband and daughter had the rest. Didn't click it would have coffee in it and caffiene would kill me that late in the day. Glad actually because I really don't need the calories. Plan to keep it just a caramel apple tomorrow.
1 in the morning and way past time to hit the sack.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:00 pm

Success??? It was an S Day so I will count it as success but this is the last time I intend to count a day this large as a success S or not. Going forward, S days must have some controls or they will be counted as failures. I am not losing and it is because of the weekends. To be counted as a success, S days need to stay within the following guidelines:

No more than 2 drinks per day including after dinner drinks
1 treat per day (sweet or salty)
Virtual plating at meals even out or at someone's house and that includes, all courses. It either fits on a plate or it is in excess and a failure
Meals out, at someone's house or with company at our house need to be restricted to one each day. No more having a "treat breakfast", going out for lunch and to someone's house for supper. That is just too large.

I have been losing the same 4-5 pounds for about a year now. Has to end and I will continue to tweek this plan until I lose what I need to lose or die in the attempt!!!!!!!!!!!

28-0 with reservations.