Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Jen1974
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Oct 16, 2020 4:38 pm

We had a great time visiting my son last weekend. It was funny though because I had been hesitant to go “off plan” but then got to the end of the weekend & was pushing the limits of full with thoughts of going back “on plan” on Monday & realized that wasn’t working for me. I was being low key restrictive after traveling which lead to some low key rebelling :lol: So this week I spent one day eating “what I wanted” & felt like I was dragging through my day & realized I needed to find the gray. I’m either letting my inner rebel lead or my inner perfectionist & so I started really working on finding the gray. Yesterday I planned my meals by compromising what my inner perfectionist & my inner rebel thought I should have & landed somewhere in the middle. I had great energy all day but also didn’t feel deprived. When I feel deprived I tend to think of food more even after I’m physically full, counting down minutes until my next meal & trying to justify why I should eat more/sooner. But when I only focus on mentally satisfying foods, I end up feeling lethargic & looking for a quick pick me up from more food even when I’m not physically hungry. When I do hit the sweet spot I figure out ways to satisfy both mental & physical hunger but my inner perfectionist tends to feel I’d be better off eating eating “lighter” & including more “healthier” & less “fun” foods. The problem is that it only leads to days where I eat anything but light/healthy so I know I’m better off living in the gray & avoiding both extremes!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:40 pm

Can you imagine if your inner perfectionist and your inner rebel had to plan a party together? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

Jen1974
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Oct 19, 2020 6:56 pm

Things have been going really well for me.I bought a few new fall clothes which always motivates me to want to take better care of myself. There’s something about new clothes that feel good & makes it easier to want to eat in a way that also feels good. It’s funny how the opposite is also true & when I feel bad I tend to eat in a way that only leaves me feeling worse. The funny thing with that though is that I’m actually trying to make myself feel better. Food is really a lousy tool for that job though :lol:

My focus lately has been eating meals that both taste & feel good & that does seem to be making things pretty easy. I think for too long I’ve either chosen what feels good (perfectionist) or what tastes good (rebel). IE had me only focused on taste & ZERO restriction making it hard to eat in a way that felt good & diets had me only focused on what felt good (and honestly what would lead to weight loss) making it impossible to stick to long term. Using No S I have been swinging back & forth between both sides, and really I did the same thing the first time I tried No S. Hopefully being more mindful of the perfectionist vs the rebel will help me find the sweet spot!! I do worry though that part of what is going well is that I’m home & less hungry after a phase of extra so it’s pretty easy to eat in a way that feels good. The true test will be in a few weeks when we travel in the RV again if I can handle that without letting the rebel take the reigns!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Oct 19, 2020 7:05 pm

Finding that sweet spot is so tricky! I have been working on that myself. I have been eating in a way that makes my perfectionist cringe lately. I ate a "healthy" meal yesterday and my body was so happy with me. But then, it really wanted Mcdonalds for dinner. So I had that and it felt like my body was also really happy with me, like I needed something that meal provided, so I tried to let my inner perfectionist go on a little vacation. This is all hard to figure out sometimes.

Anyway, I am glad that you are finding ease in eating what tastes good AND feels good. That is my ultimate goal for myself in the long run.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Oct 23, 2020 3:06 pm

Pink- I love that, about the healthy meal & McDonalds both being what you needed!! I think that’s the balance we lose when we start to diet!! And it’s really hard to get back!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Oct 23, 2020 3:07 pm

I’m in such a good place right now which feels great!! It’s easy right now because I’m probably on the higher side of my set point weight making me feel less hungry. The real test will be when my clothes get looser & I feel hungrier. I don’t think I’ve ever handled that well which has probably kept me stuck. I also have never focused on both physical & mental satisfaction with what & how I’m eating. It’s usually more heavily focused on “being healthy” or “what I want”. This past couple of weeks I’ve put feeling mentally satisfied first, but also it must be something that will leave me physically satisfied.

I’ve realized making sure my meals have carbs, fiber, & fat works the best for me. I’ve always felt I “should” have protein but I just don’t seem to need very much of it!! If I short change myself on carbs on the other hand I’m left never feeling done. Carbs without fat & fiber though mess with my blood sugar & leave me quickly hungry again. Fruit & veggies have always been on my “should” list too but they fill me up without really satisfying me.

Right now my favorite go to meal has been whole milk vanilla yogurt with all bran & cinnamon. It leaves me with great energy & completely satisfied, not looking for “extra”. I was adding a little sugar to it too but noticed my joints felt a little sore & cut back on it. After a few days of it, the vanilla yogurt tasted sweet enough without it :)

Another thing I did this week has been to intentionally add in splurges. Things my inner rebel wants but my inner perfectionist thinks “aren’t healthy”. The big one was Chick-Fil-A for dinner on a busy night. I had been craving it & it totally hit the spot!!

Overall I felt great this week!! I had such good energy that I wasn’t tempted to have an extra drink at night which was an added bonus. It’s made me realize I don’t have to eat perfectly to feel really good & quite honestly feel so much more energetic not trying to eat perfect, not to mention so much less deprived!! It’s also made me realize how much better I do feel focusing at least a little on eating foods that nourish my body. When I’m only focused on “what I want” my mood & energy levels aren’t good at all!!

We’re going to visit my son again tonight. We love the town he is in & plan to move there once my youngest graduates but for now it’s fun to take the motorhome there & visit!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Oct 23, 2020 4:49 pm

That yogurt meal sounds delish - from one yogurt lover to another. You've almost convinced me to try putting bran on my yogurt. :-)

Wonderful that you are feeling great physically and emotionally.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:21 pm

Its so great to see how well you are doing!
It’s made me realize I don’t have to eat perfectly to feel really good & quite honestly feel so much more energetic not trying to eat perfect, not to mention so much less deprived!! It’s also made me realize how much better I do feel focusing at least a little on eating foods that nourish my body. When I’m only focused on “what I want” my mood & energy levels aren’t good at all!!
Just really relate to this, and have been realizing this myself lately. It's such a balancing act! sounds like you are doing great with figuring these things out.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Octavia » Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:15 am

Jen1974 wrote:
Fri Oct 23, 2020 3:07 pm
I also have never focused on both physical & mental satisfaction with what & how I’m eating. It’s usually more heavily focused on “being healthy” or “what I want”. This past couple of weeks I’ve put feeling mentally satisfied first, but also it must be something that will leave me physically satisfied.
I feel I’m going through a similar thing, Jen. I suddenly feel ready to adjust what’s on my plates and make it really balanced - not just what I crave, and not just what is deemed healthy, but a balance. It doesn’t take that much mental bandwidth, and it’s so rewarding. I really think it’s the way forward!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Oct 25, 2020 3:31 pm

It is a balancing act Pink!! And I think it’s harder to stay in balance when life is “off” and I go on autopilot :lol:

Octavia, I’m stating to think that’s the key!! And it seems almost obvious, like why didn’t I see this sooner :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Oct 25, 2020 3:32 pm

I worked at reframing the times when I had extra this weekend into a positive, reminding myself that meals where I have a little extra motivate me to have days where I eat a little lighter & that overall it’s more sustainable than setting the bar too high & feels much better than setting the bar too low. Getting rid of the feeling that I was “being bad” for having extra made it much easier to not feel like I had to get it while I could & actually lead to a much more moderate weekend where I actually paid attention to how I felt. A bigger lunch on Saturday really zapped my energy but it was worth it since we went to my favorite sandwich place in Fort Collins, but today (Sunday) I’m excited to go back to lighter meals that feel better. On Friday we went to our favorite ice cream place & I ate all of mine even though what I ordered wasn’t really that good. Ideally I’d like to be better at throwing it out but was actually just happy noticing it wasn’t that great. The same thing happened at DQ a few months ago & it’s actually nice to know what’s worth having “extra” for & what isn’t. I always seem to be the most successful with No S when I’m more mindful of my splurges & am more selective of what’s worth it & what’s not. IE made me not selective enough & diets made me too selective so finding the sweet spot is where success happens!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Sun Oct 25, 2020 3:51 pm

I got a DQ blizzard last week and I super enjoyed it. However, at some point I noticed that my body was the tiniest bit queasy - like a way of saying "enough!". I threw the rest out and was extremely pleased with myself. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:17 pm

That is awesome auto!! I would love to get better at that!! I really struggle with the “clean your plate” mentality where it’s hard for me not to finish what I have!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Mon Oct 26, 2020 5:23 pm

The clean plate club is really hard to leave.

I too have more success these days at recognizing and being able to leave sweet things when they are too much. Part of what helps is having full permission to have some another day :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:19 am

I have trouble with the clean plate too. I do better with things I make myself but special food... food from a restaurant or ice cream I got somewhere else... oh its hard! My husband and I (pre covid) used to go out for ice cream and eat just until we were full and then throw the rest in the trash on the way out Somehow its so much easier when you have someone doing it with you. :) But now that its drive-through and take it home, I just put it in the freezer and nibble on it for the next day or two until its gone.

Jen1974
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:23 pm

I do think dieting creates a “clean your plate” attitude! My version of No S is really loose where a I always can have something if I really want it without breaking any “rules” but the hard part for me is that I know most of the time I don’t actually want the treats, so when I do, I feel I need to make the most of it :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:29 pm

Using “how foods make you feel” to make better choices never worked well for me because I can eat almost anything & never feel that bad as long as I don’t get too full. Something I’ve noticed lately though is that when I make my meals a little more nourishing I feel better!! I have more energy, am more motivated, and overall in a better mood!!

Things have been going really well & with less hunger it’s been easy to eat in a way that feels good!! It’s funny though because I caught my inner perfectionist starting to take the reigns trying to set the bar just a little higher. It was actually a little hard to resist where I almost convinced myself that if “this” felt good, “more” would feel even better. I always thought that my inner rebel had a way of sabotaging me when I started doing “better” but this made me realize it’s actually my inner perfectionist making things harder than they need to be & creating “plans” that aren’t sustainable!!

A few ways I’ve kept this week more sustainable is one night I was physically satisfied with one breakfast taco but knew I wasn’t mentally satisfied with only one small taco & had a second. Another night we went to sushi & my son was starving so I let him have some of mine, but realized when I got home I felt a little short changed & had an ice cream.

Tonight I’m getting together with my college friends which is always fun. I have the best college friends!! It’s what I miss most from being younger. I’ve never met friends since that I connect as well with!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:42 pm

Oh man I loved college!!
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8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Oct 30, 2020 6:35 pm

Being mentally satisfied is a really important piece of the puzzle too I think! Sounds like you are doing a good job of satisfying that part of you as well. Sometimes that is hard to do.

I never made long-lasting friends in college but I am still best friends with my junior high school friends that I met when I was 13. Kinda crazy! Hope you had fun!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Oct 31, 2020 2:56 pm

Auto: me too!! I think that’s why me & my husband are ready to move back to our college town!! We had so much there :lol:

Pink: Thats so cool you still have friends from middle school!! I have high school friends but no middle school relationships lasted!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Oct 31, 2020 2:58 pm

I’m being so much more mindful with my relationship with food which seems to be helping. I’m not aiming for perfect & when I make choices that don’t feel right I’m learning from them by writing 1. What went wrong 2. Why it went wrong 3. What I can do it the future to make choices that feel better (as opposed to what can I do to make up for this which just keeps me stuck in a cycle of too much/not enough!!)

The biggest thing that’s helping is consistently choosing meals that are both mentally & physically satisfying even after “extra” where it can be tempting to make up for it!! I really think I’ve spent most of my life either eating in a way that is primarily physically satisfying when I’m “on plan” or primarily mentally satisfying when I’m “off plan”. Intuitive eating didn’t work for me because eating “what I most want” was mainly mentally satisfying but didn’t feel so good, but because there were no good/bad foods I didn’t know how to eat in a way that felt better without a little diet mentality!! That’s where No S helps because trying to take care of yourself isn’t considered taboo around here :lol:

So this week has been good overall. I learned that milk duds aren’t really that great but are easy to have because I can convince myself halloween candy is so small. When food is “meh” it’s not that mentally satisfying & I’m left wanting more so I’m better off having something like a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream that I love & it leaves me feeling DONE. And I learned that having a night or two during the week with a little extra guilt free means I don’t go into the weekend feeling like I need a break from anything!!

Hoping this continues because I like how good it feels without feeling deprived or like I deserve a reward!!

I had a great time with my college friends, walked with my best friend from high school & then walked with my cousin this week so for an introverted extrovert like me I’m ready to not socialize for a bit but it felt great to see friends!! My son comes home today to carve pumpkins. My daughter asked him to & at first he said no but changed his mind so we’re excited to have him here for that!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Sat Oct 31, 2020 3:44 pm

when I make choices that don’t feel right I’m learning from them by writing 1. What went wrong 2. Why it went wrong 3. What I can do it the future to make choices that feel better
Sounds like a scientist! :-)

You probably saw that Reinhard has posted a new podcast? He also posted the transcript so you can just read it (that's what I did). Anyway, it's perfect to sum up what you've been working so hard on lately!!!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

Jen1974
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Nov 01, 2020 2:01 pm

Auto: I hadn’t listened/read that yet so I did yesterday. It was really interesting!! I think I look at both voices as more helpful than destructive but they are really destructive too. Especially when given full authority :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by alene1 » Sun Nov 01, 2020 2:24 pm

Jen, I loved reading your thoughts on foods being either mentally satisfying, or physically satisfying, depending on whether you were on or off plan. My experience of intuitive eating was very similar! Bringing both together is key.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Nov 02, 2020 8:38 pm

Just echoing what others have said. I totally agree that mentally satisfying and physically satisfying are really both needed to have a healthy, sustainable way of eating. Love reading your thoughts!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:37 pm

Thanks Pink & Alene :D

It’s crazy to me how many people feel the same about Intuitive Eating!! After spending time in that circle feeling guilt for struggling, like I was too caught up in diet mentality, it’s nice to hear from others that they had the same struggles!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:37 pm

We left yesterday to take a RV trip to visit my parents in South Dakota so this week has been a bit busy. We’ve had Chipotle, Chick-Fil-A, and Pizza Hut for dinner over that last few nights which is awesome that it can all fit into my version of No S with no stress or anxiety!! I’ve even eaten it in a way that feels like would lead to weight loss, not really overdoing any of it!

I feel it’s made a huge difference focusing on the perfectionist vs. the rebel & meeting somewhere in the middle. I realized this week that I was short changing myself in satisfaction. One if my favorite things to eat right now is All Bran & Yogurt because I feel great when I do. I was adding cinnamon sugar but thought it would be healthier if I skipped the sugar & started adding cinnamon only. It was fine at first but I started noticing it tasted rather bland & I wasn’t enjoying it all that much but eating it because it seemed great for digestion & left me feeling energetic & physically satisfied where I wasn’t hungry between meals. I started noticing that I had a hard time stopping at enough at dinner though. It was like I needed to make up for the missing satisfaction. When I added the sugar back in the meal became more satisfying & dinner quit being as big of a deal. When I’m thinking all afternoon about what’s for dinner, it’s a good sign I’m not feeling mentally satisfied!! My inner perfectionist is really sneaky & I’ve listened to her for so long that I can miss the signs that I’m depriving myself. When instead of blaming myself for lack of will power, I look for the WHY it’s usually my standards are too high & not sustainable!!

My other thing I’m working on now is celebrating my wins. This week one win I’m aiming for is stopping when I’ve had enough & intentionally leaving food on my plate. Other wins have been realizing I wasn’t craving a donut & having a breakfast that left me feeling better instead, and not turning to food when I was tired from the time change & looking for something to keep me going. I tend to focus too much on my “losses” but it’s a lot more motivating to keep track of the wins!!

A podcast I’ve been liking is the Fat Murderer. She is a 3 meal a day, no snack type too, but also focuses on including trigger foods which is probably a little more what I do because I don’t take S days & do 3 meals no snacks 7 days a week, adding in S events. And she focuses more on hunger/fullness which is similar to me with virtual plating.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Thu Nov 05, 2020 11:49 pm

Hope your trip to see your parents was fun! I love hearing of your RV tales. I'm halfway convinced that's what my hubby and I should do. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:04 pm

Thanks Auto!! I really love our motorhome adventures!! It’s made COVID something where we’ve created some pretty awesome memories!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:17 pm

We’ve been having a good time visiting my parents. Their “farm” is in a small town in South Dakota. My husband & dad fish & my kids all have school & my mom is obsessed with Fox News so I’ve worked quite a bit. I live in the gray & don’t enjoy CNN or Fox & don’t enjoy discussing politics with anyone but my 5. I love our discussions though, we all have our view but are so respectful & try & learn from views different than ours.

I leaned a lesson I seem to need to keep relearning. I can not work at “leaving a little food on my plate”. It’s something that I can’t do in a healthy way & always end up feeling like less=better & that the goal is to eat as little as possible which never works and leaves me feeling rebellious. After working on leaving food behind this week I had a day yesterday where I was sick of it & pushed the limits of full at lunch & dinner plus added in an afternoon snack I wasn’t even hungry for. I am really good at having a general idea of what & how much will leave me satisfied. When I try to use hunger/fullness alone it just doesn’t work!!

Another lesson I learned from yesterday is when I respond to “more now” with plans for “less later” it also doesn’t work!! I kept telling myself “just order light at dinner”. Going forward I’m just going to get right back to “normal”!!

I’m pretty much asking “where do I feel deprived” when I’m eating in a way that doesn’t feel good which is working so much better that beating myself up & planning to “work harder”

I think something that triggered me is my cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid & the dress is super tight in the waist. Even my daughter said that’s a dress you’d have to be 12 to look good in :lol: it’s made me feel I should be more “careful” about what/how much I eat. A goal of weight loss, no matter how subtle, always backfired on me as well!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Sat Nov 07, 2020 1:52 am

That's pretty cool that you get to be a bridesmaid, though! Although the whole fitting easily into the dress thing of course sucks.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Octavia » Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:52 am

What colour is it? What style? Share the bridesmaid magic with us, Jen! :)

Interesting to hear about your learning experiences this week. It’s a never-ending thing for me, learning what works and what doesn’t. I recently experimented with having two eggs for breakfast, having read here about it ‘automatically’ reducing how much you eat:
https://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/w ... t_eggs.htm

Well in my experience, this egg theory doesn’t work at all - there are some days when I’m hungrier all day, and others where I’m less hungry. The size/content of the breakfast is only one factor in this great mystery. Like your experience with the day you gave in to a bigger lunch, yet still craved a bigger dinner - perhaps it was just one of those days when you needed more all round, and maybe that’s natural as you’d had less in the preceding days.

Nice to hear about your family debating so respectfully!

Have a great weekend.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Nov 10, 2020 4:38 pm

Image
Hopefully I did that right& you all can see the bridesmaid dress. I’m so happy I ordered a size up!! I would be miserable right now if I felt It was mandatory to lose weight in order to breathe that night :lol:

Octavia: That is my experience with eggs/protein in general. Everyone always said if you eat protein you aren’t hungry & eat less overall but for me I just feel like something is missing (carbs) and spend the day craving them :lol: I think that’s the problem with diet rules that come from outside of us, we don’t all work the same way!!

We made it home from our trip yesterday. It was a fun trip but it felt nice to get home!! There’s something about our South Dakota trip where there’s not much to do & food/drinks is the main source of entertainment that leaves me feeling a little crummy & ready to go back to normal after!!

I left for the trip hoping to “be good” on vacation. I don’t actually use those terms in my head, but I can tell when I give myself the free pass for extra because “it’s okay, I’ll go back to being healthy again after” that it’s there. My inner perfectionist is sneaky!! I tend to low key restrict because it does feel good to eat healthy & take care of myself & finding balance is hard!!

When my kids were first born I decided to have 3 meals & only focus on what sounded good, not worrying at all about getting fruit, veggies, fiber, protein, or any of my other “shoulds” and it was the one time when I effortlessly lost weight & liked where I ended up. Over time my inner perfectionist added in all these subtle rules & I lost that. So getting home I’ve decided that will be my focus, 3 meals a day, basing them only on what sounds the best. Yesterday that meant a bagel for Breakfast & lunch. I didn’t have time to cook so we picked up Chick-Fil-A, but I did cut up veggies for a salad bar for all of us before. I made homemade ranch & had that when normally I’d use balsamic because a I feel like ranch adds so many calories to salad, but really all that does is leave me less satisfied, wanting salad less, and more likely to overdo it on Chick-Fil-A or feel I need a dessert after. It never leads to actually consuming less calories :lol: Thats the thing about food rules, they may lead to eating fewer calories in the moment, but almost always lead to consuming more in the long run.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Nov 10, 2020 5:24 pm

That dress is very pretty! I know what you mean about the food rules and backfiring. Will they ever go away? It's tough isn't it to always be ever so slightly grappling with them in the background.
Thats the thing about food rules, they may lead to eating fewer calories in the moment, but almost always lead to consuming more in the long run.
This is SOOOO true! I am constantly reminding myself of this and sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't but this a really good thing to keep in mind.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Tue Nov 10, 2020 6:07 pm

Jen - sounds like you were NoS before NoS was cool. :-)
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Tue Nov 10, 2020 8:06 pm

Love the dress
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 12, 2020 9:57 pm

Thanks Pink & Soprano :D

Pink you’re so right about them running in the background!! I’m starting to realize they hurt me a lot more than they help :(

Auto, I think my core is the 3 meal rhythm!! It’s what I always come back to :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 12, 2020 10:19 pm

This week has been different for me than how I normally come home from a trip. I have refused to do anything that resembles “diet starts Monday”. I didn’t like how the trip felt. There was lots of thoughts of “I hardly ever ____________” that I used as a free pass for a break & I realized I’m just tired of eating in a way I need a break from. I don’t mean to do it but deep down I seem to think there’s a right/wrong way to eat. Things like more whole foods & fewer processed ones, less sugar, more fiber, more fruits & veggies, fewer simple carbs, more protein. And because I’m a bit of a perfectionist I always take it too far, even when my goal is to be moderate.

So I’m taking a break from the shoulds. I’ve put fun foods on a pedestal where when I have them I want to overdo it on them & nourishing foods have become a “have to” instead of a “want to.”

My new No S is NO should/shouldn’ts!! There’s things I’ve realized I want/don't want that come from within that I’m sticking with like the 3 meal a day rhythm 7 days a week (although sometimes I break my dinner into 2 parts), the no snacking which for me is really no grazing because that feels terrible, and the no seconds which for me only means don’t get too full because I hate how that feels.

I’m ditching all the other “rules” & eating what I want. It’s felt great because I feel no need to overdo it knowing I can have it again for my next meal. It’s what I did when trying Intuitive Eating only without the No S part so it always left me with decision fatigue (“hungry?” vs “not hungry?”), feeling I could never tell myself no or “diet mentality” & feeling terrible yet never really knowing the “right” way to make better choices. I basically let go of the IE should/shouldn'ts too :lol:

Hopefully this will help balance my inner rebel/inner perfectionist. I’m just tired of swinging back & forth & ready to find the middle ground even if that means my diet is less nutritious & I weigh a little more!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:13 am

I am loving life without “gentle nutrition” :lol: I really must have needed a break because eating whatever I want with the 3 meal structure has left me feeling done in a way my balanced meals weren’t. I’m working on habituating these apple cinnamon bagels with cream cheese. I normally can’t get enough of them, they are so good, but knowing I can have another for my next meal if I want leaves me satisfied with just one and content until my next meal.

I’m doing one or two foods at a time. It’s really breakfast & lunch where I’m always trying to be “good” so I’m mostly focusing on those meals. It feels weird to pay zero attention to nutrition but so far a focus on nutrition hasn’t worked :lol: I’m just done with on plan/off plan!! 3 meals a day has made it where I can eat what I want but without feeling out of control or overdoing it so it doesn’t feel “off plan” but I’m not being “good” so it doesn’t feel on plan either :D

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:49 am

Sounds like a great gentle nutrition way of eating!

I know I have already mentioned that I struggle with my inner perfectionist and food rules as well. I also feel like the three meals no snacking is the core for me. Sometimes I can manage no seconds but not always. I think eating in a sustainable, enjoyable way but where we don't feel out of control is kind of key for people with eating struggles and that is a tricky thing to achieve. Sounds like you are doing it!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:46 pm

I’m really enjoying where I am at. There’s temptation to give into “shoulds” but I’m doing a good job realizing that hasn’t served me so far & that a focus on health has kept me stuck in a “on plan”/“off plan” cycle that I’m really sick of!

I’m definitely sticking with my 3 meal a day rhythm, that’s always felt best to me because I’ve never been someone who enjoys snacks & like bigger meals, but I’ve been listening to the Intuitive Eating book & have had a lot of a-ha moments about why I’ve stayed stuck in the cycle. I think with Intuitive Eating I always tried to do too much at once. Having no schedule & unlimited access to any fun food I wanted meant I never really habituated any of it & would just feel crummy from too much. I do think some foods don’t work as well with our hunger/fullness cues & it can be easy to want them even when we’re not hungry, so it wasn’t helpful when I tried to include them all at once. I’d just jump from one to the next, never really habituating any of them, feel crummy, & than work to choose “feel better later”. It kept me stuck bouncing from low key dieting, back to not dieting at all, & than back to low key dieting again.

Now I’ve got my 3 meal structure & am working on one food at a time, starting with bagels. When I started Intuitive Eating I did this with brownies & now brownies hold no power over me. I still really like them, but they’re just brownies. Same with banana bread. I actually got a little sick of both & so now there is no “eat it all” charge that used to be there with those foods.

I read this study on habituation where the gave people Mac & Cheese either every day or every week & the ones who had it everyday ended up eating less & habituated it much more quickly than the once a week group so that is how I’m setting myself up. They actually talked about stages in the book & I think I didn’t allow myself to stay in the stage long enough where gentle nutrition wasn’t part of the equation. I also think I created chaos on that stage with too much all at once, no structure, and trying to rely on hunger/fullness alone. Now I just ask myself before the meal how much I think I need to feel satisfied (not how much I “should“ eat) and used that as my gauge with no attempt to leave some on my plate , or stress of trying to find the last bite threshold. It’s worked great so far, it’s much easier than over thinking it & I normally have no desire for seconds becuase I’m actually giving myself enough firsts :D

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Mon Nov 16, 2020 8:15 pm

Jen just wanted to thank you on your thread for your kind words about my visit to my parents last weekend. :-) For some reason, your comments (and Pinkie's) really touched my heart. I think I'm extra-sensitive right now!

Also, you and Pinkie seem to be taking the same approach to paying attention to your needs/satisfaction etc before during and after meals.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:47 pm

Love what you are doing Jen. It is so freeing when foods don't have a hold over you.

Jx
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:34 pm

Auto, ((hugs)) *insert heart emoji here*

Jen The habituation sounds so interesting! I definitely did that with Oreos and with chocolate cream pies. I used to not be able to control my eating around them and now I can, but it took a lot of eating of those particular food items. One thing I need to work on that I see you are working on is serving enough firsts by asking yourself how much you think you need to be satisfied so that you are not hungry for seconds. That is a great point. I love reading about your journey. You have many great insights, and it is helpful to me as I ( as auto pointed out) am working on many of the same things.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Nov 18, 2020 9:30 pm

Auto: I so love this board!! I feel like we’d all be friends IRL if we lived by each other!! I love how we all support even each others non food stuff :D

Thanks Soprano!! It is really freeing!! It’s crazy how good it feels to just take a break from nutrition rules & eat what I want!!

Pink: I always love reading your thread too & learn so much from you too! I do feel like we are kind of in the same boat

This board really is one of my “highs” in a day. So much stuff online leaves people feeling even more disconnected, but this board always feels like such a good connection.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:14 pm

This week has been a great leaning experience!! I’m pretty happy with it all so far. I had one day where I my eating veered too close to “not dieting” & felt crappy. I woke up the next day & wasn’t craving a bagel so I made a healthier breakfast & realized I really don’t know how to include healthier foods without a “should” & that I wasn’t quite ready to add back in nutrition until I learned that lesson.

This week when I was listening to the Intuitive Eating book it said “beware of the eat whatever you want whenever you want to scam” and that really hit home. That’s just what it is, a total scam that sends me back to feeling I need rules and leads me to choose healthier foods, not because I’m craving them, but because I feel crappy from “not dieting” and want to fix it. So I’m reminding myself that “not dieting” isn’t my goal. I’m habituation foods one at a time and only focusing on what I most want at each meal & moving on until the next meal (no grazing or adding in other fun foods which is what I do when I’m “not dieting”).

I think I’m pretty much there with cinnamon sugar bagels & am thinking waffles are next which I’m kind of excited about. One thing I have learned is I like sweet/carb heavy breakfasts!! And I’d rather have 2 breakfasts than eat typical lunch foods. My plan is to have a breakfast bagel for lunch today :) It is a really nice break letting go of nutrition & basing my meals only on what I want. When I “followed” intuitive eating I was so afraid of diet mentality that I really did end up on the “eat whatever you want to whatever you want to scam”. Now that I’m doing some of it & using No S as a crutch, it seems so much more sustainable!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Thu Nov 19, 2020 6:11 pm

NoS is so easy to use as a framework for almost all different kinds of eating patterns. I love that about it and I think that's why we can all be on this forum with lots of different approaches. NoS somehow (despite how simple it is on the surface) teaches us to respect that all of us are on a different path and experimentation is how we find something that "fits" us.
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8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:27 am

Thanks Jen! I love the connection on this board too! I find it interesting how well we all seem to connect and support each other and be on similar paths. When I talk about it to my husband about it I call it my "moderate eating board." :D He knows my eating disordered past and he would be worried about me if I called it anything starting with a no I think.

Are you reading the Intuitive Eating book by Resch and Tribole? I am glad you are enjoying and learning from your food habituation. Grazing is what I do when I am "not dieting" as well.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Nov 20, 2020 5:55 am

Omygosh right there with you. It’s like it almost feels as really restrictive eating in some ways. Every time i even had an inkling for food, id feel like i should eat it or id be depriving (dieting). Then id end up grazing all day which feels like crap and i end up gaining. I dont know why i keep having to relearn this lesson. I think i just need to realize that i might just need a week off now and then. I also agree that doing intuitive eating within the boundaries of whats on our plates is kind of the best of both worlds. I did learn to neutralize all foods at the very least when i did IE years ago so that’s good. I genuinely just prefer “healthy” foods most of the time but it did take eating a lot of previously off limits foods for awhile.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Nov 20, 2020 5:01 pm

Auto: I totally agree!! I really think No S is the best foundation for everything!! Even if it’s not 3 meals a day because I think some do better with more, smaller meals, but to start with a number of meals, avoiding the non hunger snacking that can happen between meals without any structure, and to decide what & how much feels good is such a great foundation!!

Pink: It is the book by Resch & Tribole!! I feel like I’ve listened to almost every IE book out there yet never have quite figured out how to totally eat intuitively :lol: I talk about this board to my husband too & tell him it’s a bunch of us trying to figure out how to eat in a way that feels good :lol: I never want my kids to think any diety thoughts so I’m careful about anything that sounds diety around them!! Although lately my son has wanted to take better care of himself & has chosen to give up snacks & talks about how it’s helped him quit eating when he is bored. No S is the one “diet” that I really think can feel more like self care than restriction if it’s done right!!

Linda: I love that you just prefer healthier foods now. I think I’ll get to a place where I don’t have as many “fun” foods but doubt I’ll ever eat as healthy as others do. I really like fruits & veggies & one of my favorites right now is a salad with ranch & Chex, but also really love bagels, waffles, Chick-Fil-A, & pizza :lol:

I keep track of how my days go overall & noticed the first week of letting go of “gentle nutrition” I totally crushed it, but as I’ve gotten a little less enchanted with bagels & started to try & figure out what I do want, I’ve let a few “shoulds” sneak in that I can tell I’m just not ready for yet. It’s the meals that I eat what I really want where it hits the spot & I feel DONE that have the best results for me. I’m less likely to push the limits of full or feel tempted to eat between meals. I’m reminding myself with every meal I need to pick based on satisfaction and that is all for now. There’s even a big part of me that thinks it’s okay to have more if something is “healthy” as if those calories don’t count :lol: I’m starting to think my healthy/less healthy food rules have done more harm than good :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Nov 21, 2020 12:41 am

I should re read that book. It didn't hit the spot for me years ago, but I know they have come out with several new editions since I last read it, and I am in a completely different place on my journey than I was back then.

I like the way you describe the board! I will try that next time one of my kids asks... if they ask. I SO agree about No s feeling like self care rather than restriction if its done right!

I have TERRIBLE trouble with health eating rules and shoulds. And sometimes I still think I should embrace a different way of eating for my health and it is hard to let go. I agree that it is so important to eat what will really satisfy you and try to throw all the shoulds out the window. It is hard, but it sounds like you are really doing amazing at it!

Also, chex and ranch in a salad? Sounds intriguing. :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:27 am

Oh trust me—i eat plenty of french fries & chocolate along with the more nutritious stuff! ☺️
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by alene1 » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:42 pm

I'm enjoying reading your thoughts on the IE book. I've read many of them as well and there are so many good nuggets in them, but finding that just right way of eating is a challenge for sure! Sounds like you are getting there.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Nov 23, 2020 4:29 pm

Pink: Me too on should embrace a better way of eating for health!! Especially as I get older & know I want to feel better than my parents do who don’t seem to take very good care of themselves at all!

Linda: I think “fries & chocolate” with the healthy stuff is the only way to live :lol: Enjoying food is one of the best parts of life in my opinion!! Theres a line from Croods where she says “that’s not living, it’s just not dying” is how I sort of think of people who ONLY eat healthy foods :lol:

Alene: You are so right that finding that just right way of eating is a challenge!! I struggle to find the balance where I’m taking care of myself in a way that feels good but isn’t restrictive. I usually tend to take self care too far & rebel against it :lol:

I am really learning a lot from this break from nutrition!! It feels really nice to let go of shoulds & just have the foods that I might not have restricted before but they were always pretty limited!! It hasn’t been easy to let go of shoulds & I still feel tempted at times to try to force in fruits & veggies or other healthier options but can tell that doesn’t work as well & I have much better results eating only what I want.

I added one more gentle boundary outside of my 3 meal rhythm that is no grazing, I either need to commit to a serving & sit & enjoy it or skip it. On Saturday I added granola to lunch but “just a handful” that turned in a lot of handfuls that ruined my meal. I picked up this bad habit in my calorie counting days where “just a little” didn’t seem to really count but I never actually stop at “just a little” because handfuls aren’t satisfying, so I just keep having a little more. It worked great later when I was tempted to have a few Wheat Thins before dinner but didn’t want to commit to more than a few & skipped them. It made dinner so much more enjoyable!!

Ultimately I just want to really enjoy food without pushing the limits of enough that always leads to feeling lethargic and quit feeling like I need to be “healthy” to make up for phases when I’m rebelling & eating in a way that doesn’t feel good.

We left yesterday for a 2 week road trip to see more National Parks. Usually there is a little part of me that is in a tug of war with “keep eating healthy” vs. “want to enjoy vacation food” & this time I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing so there is no added emotion. Normally I buy foods I “used” to love as a kid for my family as a weird way to satisfy a craving though them & this time instead I just bought the one or two things that really sounded good to me & left it at that. One of the things was blueberry muffins & I just had one for breakfast & there was no pull for just a little more like there normally is when I give into a craving because I know I’ll eat one for lunch if I really want to :lol:

We get to Zion today & spend the next 3 nights there before heading to Vegas to spend Thanksgiving with my parents.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Mon Nov 23, 2020 6:32 pm

Jen do you drive the RV in the snow?
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8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:30 pm

Auto- We try not to drive it in the snow!! We re-route or wait to avoid it if necessary!!

We’re heading out for a hike in just a bit. The top of the hike has chains & isn’t recommended for those with a fear of heights so I’ll most likely skip that part :lol:

Yesterday was a drive day with no exercise & I started to feel irritated & bored & noticed myself snacking for entertainment. That’s always what happens to me with too much Intuitive Eating info, emotional eating amps up, so I’m still working on habituating foods, but do better not letting IE make me feel like I can’t have gentle boundaries & loose structure. I feel so much better when I don’t snack!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:52 pm

Wow that sounds like a serious hike!

I feel bad when I graze as well. I am not sure why. Sounds like you are figuring things out! Sounds like such a fun trip and a great opportunity to be aware of vacation eating thoughts versus just listening to your body, eating what you want and following your gentle guidelines.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:16 am

Grazing is the worst for me, mental wise. It was what I successfully kicked to the curb, thanks to NoS. The first year or two (or three?) on the weekends I grazed like a maniac. After several years of that, even my weekends are typically graze-free. I am much happier this way.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 1:12 am

Grazing is probably the one thing I hate more than anything!! It’s never that enjoyable & doesn’t even usually seem to be about the food.

Yesterday & today have both been great!! We’ve been busy & I’ve gotten plenty of exercise & that seems to help!! After my travel day that I wasn’t happy with I thought about why when I started my habituation experiment it all seemed to be going really well & what had changed and I realized it was this sneaky should. The feeling that I should be satisfied with less where after my first week where I was having the whole bagel, as I became less excited about them, I started stopping at 1/2 bagel. I think my goal always is getting to a place where I’m satisfied with less, but maybe I actually need a little more. There just seems to be a big range from enough to too full. I feel like if I stop at enough I still want more in the moment, but if I wait 20 minutes the feeling passes. Maybe though that’s just not enough. So I decided to start erring on the side of plenty vs not enough with my habituation experiment & see where that leads!!

We’ve been on some great hikes & have hit awesome weather. I’ve gotten 25K+ steps the last couple of days. I’m hoping to get up & have is all do a morning hike before we head to see my parents in Vegas for Thanksgiving.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Dec 03, 2020 5:59 pm

Our trip has been fun but maybe a little a little too long. I’m feeling homesick & missing routine!! Few days ago I became officially over basing my food choices only on what I wanted! We had a travel day where I ate in a way that felt AWFUL and it made me realize that it’s more than just restriction that leads to poor food choices!! I feel like I’m in groundhogs day where I go through the same routine over & over, never arriving at where I want to be.

I keep falling into this Intuitive Eating trap where I blame all poor eating choices on diets, but that’s just not true. Sure being too restrictive can put me in a binge/restrict cycle if I take it too far, but emotional eating also leads to poor eating choices that have nothing to do with restriction!!

After my day of too much & feeling awful I was excited to have a healthier day & included tons of fruit/veggies, ate healthier & felt amazing. The day after this I wanted to repeat it all again, but since I was on vacation it wasn’t that simple & I ended up not able to live up to those expectations felt guilty & realized it’s the mistake I always make, taking “healthy” too far!! It made me realize it wasn’t sustainable & that if the “plan” won’t work on vacation, than it’s too strict!!

So the last leg of the trip I’ve based my meals on something that is mentally satisfying along with a fruit/veggie if it’s possible & it’s worked so much better!! I’m enjoying vacation food, getting at least some fruits & veggies in, & working at stopping at enough knowing I can have “it” agains later. I’ll have a day again, probably before the trip is over where I use food as entertainment & push the limits of enough, but I’m hoping to just accept it, learn from it, an move on instead of making it MEAN something.

I also signed back up for the wavelength app that really seems to help me. Listening to episodes made me really think about why vacation eating is hard & I realized I feel so much pressure to make everyone happy & make sure everyone is having fun the whole time. It’s exhausting!! No wonder I use food to cope. I expect myself to be a fricken Mary Poppins tour guide :lol: So I’ve worked to take the pressure off which has made me happier & when I’m happier everyone else seems to be too :lol:

We left Huntington Beach today for Yosemite National Park. I LOVED being at the beach!! It’s has probably been my favorite part of the trip. We had a bonfire on the beach one night at sunset which has always been a bucket list thing for me & was really amazing!! 3 more nights & then we’ll be back home & I’m excited for you that!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Dec 04, 2020 1:35 am

Oh boy this whole eating thing is so tricky. At first I felt like IE would be the answer to restrictive eating but then after awhile it starts to feel like just as maddening as restrictive dieting. It’s just another box I try to fit myself into. In reality maybe we need to take what feels good from different approaches, leave the rest and come up with our own thing. It feels like that’s what you did in the end? Also, good for you for pulling back on trying to make sure everyone is having the perfect vacation. Definitely not your job!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:35 pm

I'm glad you are having a nice vacation, but it's nice to come home too! :-)

And I hear you on the beach. I NEED the beach at least a couple times a year. It was a big part of my growing up and formative years. And the beaches I visit aren't (usually) even warm, ha! But being at the beach on a super windy, rainy day still feels a breath through my soul, carrying away the tight spots and loosening my insides.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Dec 05, 2020 11:21 pm

Auto: Me too on the beach being good for my soul!! I just feel more like a better version me when I’m there!!

Linda: That’s exactly it! Doing what feels right from the different approaches I think is where we’d all be best off. Just because one style works for someone does not mean it works for someone else!! And you’re right about IE, it feels just as maddening but in a different way where “no rules” becomes the rule & figuring out how to take care of yourself feels hard :lol:

We’re headed home from our trip now & should make it back by tomorrow night. Our last stop after Huntington Beach was Yosemite National Park. We did an amazing hike yesterday & I’m glad we made it there, but outside of the park, the area wasn’t as fun so I don’t picture us going back like I do with places like Zion & Moab. It’s been fun trip but I’m so ready to be back.

For eating I’ve basically merged what I like from IE, NO S, & Wavelength with a 3 meal rhythm, asking “do I need this snack, sweet, or second” when tempted, focusing on including one “most wanted” food into my meals to habituate my favorite foods & leave me feeling mentally satisfied, & adding in fruits/veggies when I can to leave me more physically satisfied.

From Wavelength I’m working on not letting off days mean anything & just accepting them as part of life. I created a habit of using food to cope when I’m tired, bored, unmotivated, or looking for entertainment & I’m bound to have days where I’m not up to resisting the urge to eat to deal with those emotions. I’m also working to do things that “fill my bucket” so I feel good & it’s easier to make better choices. So far so good, even on vacation which is awesome. I actually think it’s been good for me to navigate what works/doesn’t during a time when my schedule is totally off because it’s proof that if it works now, there’s really no excuse for it not to always work!!

The funny thing is that I go through phases where I have this great peaceful relationship with food & than I’ll do something like try tighten up boundaries with hopes of weight loss, or go on vacation or through a stressful phases where I seem to rebel & worry I’m being too restrictive. I need to really work on accepting a.) that a goal of weight loss sabotages me EVERY TIME & b.) that when my schedule is off I can fall back on old unhealthy habits & the best response is to accept it & move on.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Dec 06, 2020 5:50 pm

Yesterday was the LONGEST travel day which normally is just more than I can take & I start to snack just for something to make time pass, or I’ll go overboard at meals to make it feel more fun. It always feels terrible :lol:. I did none of those things yesterday though!! I’m not overly hungry after going through a period of too much, but I’m also feeling really done after meals. This trip has been really good for me, helping me balance my meals with both something healthy & something I want. Normally when I get sick of “not dieting” I’ll want to go ALL IN on being healthier. I’ll minimize processed foods & try to base my diets on whole foods. I’ll also add in all kinds of other “rules” I’ve created for what a diet that is good for me should look like, but leave no room for things that are mentally satisfying. I start out excited & feel great, but it’s never sustainable. Then when I’m “not dieting” I get rid of all shoulds but that isn’t sustainable either. I really struggle with all or nothing mentalities but usually don’t see it when I’m in it. I’ve read old things I’ve written & made a list of “mistakes” I’ve made a long the way with hopes I finally remember this time to keep it in the gray!! I really have learned so much for all that I’ve tried & now if I can just quit falling into the trap of believing that if I just do “X” that I’ll have the perfect relationship with food & instead be happy with a good enough relationship with food!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Dec 08, 2020 11:51 pm

Me & my husband had to head to our cabin right after we got back from our trip which felt rushed but was actually really awesome after so much family time!! I love our “weekends” just us two & feel lucky I’m married to someone I still have so much fun with!!

I’m so happy with where I am food wise! Yesterday was dealing with PMS & being at the cabin which can often lead to throwing in the towel. I felt a slight urge at lunch for extra & a bit lethargic in the afternoon & tempted to have a snack but instead I made an “up next” list of to-dos in my head & never gave in & it wasn’t much of a struggle at all. I’m sure that won’t always be the case but it felt really nice this time!!

I feel really satisfied with my meals now, both mentally & physically, & it’s easy to stay “on track” no matter what’s going on. It’s a great place to be!!

We’re headed back home today. I have SO MUCH that needs to be done before Christmas & on top of that, getting the motorhome cleaned & back to storage. This week is going to be chaos!! We’re picking up Chipotle tonight to simplify. Dieting Jen could have never done all this after a trip. First off because I would have eaten in a way that felt awful on vacation & I’d be desperate for “normal”, and second because I’d be stressed about the weight I gained. Not weighing myself is so much better for me!! I can tell my jeans are tight, but I also know it’s not an emergency & that being home with more at home eating & fewer treats will result in them slowly getting looser.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Dec 09, 2020 3:08 pm

This is such a busy time! I hope things go smoothly for you this week.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Dec 09, 2020 9:45 pm

It sounds like you have had a lot of fun! Good luck getting everything ready for the holidays! I am glad you and your husband got time to yourselves after all that busyness! I love that you still have so much fun together.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Dec 13, 2020 7:25 pm

I’m starting to dig out but this time of year is HARD!! I can tell me & my husband are both irritable & it kind of sucks the fun out of it all :lol:

As per usual I got hungrier again late in the week which felt nice & at the same time makes it harder to feel as in control with eating. It’s “that time if the month” too which always makes things more challenging. I am doing a great job intentionally adding in extra & celebrating having more without feeling the need to make up for it later or throw in the towel, which pretty much sums up why every “eating plan” I’ve ever tried has failed. I get hungrier, eat extra, feel guilt & either throw in the towel, or try & make up for it later, leading to an eventual total collapse!!

I’m still habituating foods & have stayed pretty solid on Bagels. I’m adding in a fruit/veggie each meal too to make them both mentally & physically satisfying. If I eat something I really want & enough of it I notice I quit thinking of food & move on. In the past I had a hard time eating enough on hungrier days & would continue to think about food & struggle with an internal “eat, don’t eat” tug of war. I’d sometimes not eat, but it would exhaust my willpower & eventually I’d have a day where I’d give in. I’m really working on eliminating the tug of war all together which isn’t easy. It’s hard to commit to adding something big to my meals, like an ice cream, & much easier to commit to a piece of chocolate or something small, but it’s the ice cream that leaves me feeling DONE and not looking for more!!

The month of December has been zero regrets with eating choices which I’m really happy with.

Hoping it continues & I can have a zero regret December!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Dec 15, 2020 3:42 pm

I’m catching up a little but still feel like it’s an uphill battle!! We go to the cabin this weekend which makes this week busy but also is amazing because it’s forces us to slow down, watch Christmas movies, play games, and actually enjoy the season!! It’s funny how different the picture of what Christmas should look like is from the reality. I always try to minimize the “shoulds” down to make time for what actually matters, but it’s never easy!!

I read my opening post (from this time back) and realized I’ve pretty much done the same this time as last, doing really well for a while, only to end up frustrated with times of extra. To try & keep myself from repeating this, I’m going to work on celebrating meals/days with extra. Without taking traditional S days I need to remember that days with “more” are still necessary & actually important, even when the more feels like too much. I have this “learn & grow from regrets” goal where I tend to write a bunch about why they happened with a goal of eliminating them. “What you resist persists” and I definitely resist days with more & seem to think of them as something’s gone wrong that needs to be fixed!! In the more than 20 years I’ve been working on fixing them I haven’t found a solution, so I’m thinking it’s time to accept these days as a part of life :lol:

On that note, yesterday we were out running errands & got stuck at the last one. By the time we made it home I was STARVING & needed more than usual for lunch & ended up a little too full. Instead of thinking too much about why or how I could do better next time I focused on how it actually tasted good & it was only one meal & it was probably good for both my metabolism & my motivation. By dinner I was back on track & the day overall went really well.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Dec 15, 2020 8:44 pm

Sounds like a great victory to reframe the thoughts of regret and needing to improve next time into recognizing the enjoyment of eating and not feeling guilty, so you could finish your day feeling good. That is awesome!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Dec 16, 2020 2:30 pm

In the more than 20 years I’ve been working on fixing them I haven’t found a solution, so I’m thinking it’s time to accept these days as a part of life :lol:
Haha! Yes, yes, so true!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 12:17 am

This past week has been crazy busy for me but I created a system that made me feel so much less overwhelmed. Sometimes when there is too much to I don’t even know where to start. And when there is less to do, I can procrastinate things that need to be done leaving me feeling guilty & stressed. Last week I used this “to do” app to make a list each each morning of all things that needed to be done that day. I’d pick the 3 or 4 most important ones & star them as “up next” so they’d go on a shorter list. Once I accomplished those I’d move in to the next 3 or 4. I got so much done & actually enjoyed it. It was motivating to check things off & doing it this way left me feeling energetic instead of overwhelmed & drained.

We came to the cabin this weekend which has felt great!! We cut down a tiny tree to decorate, took the kids to walk through the new house, skied, got in the hot tub, & watched Christmas movies. It’s been a nice break from the go go go!!

I’m at a really good place at the moment with food!! I’ve simplified & tried to just lower the bar without letting it go too low :lol: I’m still basically doing the 3 meals, but have split dinner most nights into 2 parts, a big salad earlier so I don’t get too hungry & then dinner with my family later. I’m still working on habituating foods which has made a huge difference. One thing I’ve added is that when I want more I go with something nourishing which has really helped keep me from pushing the limits of enough without feeling deprived. And the final change has been to work on intentionally having extra on the weekend. I think I tend to set the bar too high on weekends & vacation. I have decided my goal is SLOWLY moving back to the lower end of my set point range. Usually I set the bar too high which gets me there quicker but has never lasted!! I’ve had a few meals that I haven’t been thrilled with, but overall the last couple of weeks have felt great & really sustainable!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Mon Dec 21, 2020 1:01 am

tried to just lower the bar without letting it go too low
Aha! The secret of sustainability! :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Mon Dec 21, 2020 4:02 am

Sounds like you are in a really good place, well done.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Dec 21, 2020 4:16 am

That overwhelmed feeling is horrible. I use a bullet journal and map out my whole week. I try to make sure there’s not too much on a given day and that has really helped me. After i map it out im not allowed to add anything else (unless it’s an ER). Instead i write it under the “next week” box. Thats helped me alot. Also the night before i write a schedule showing what times ill do everything. That helps me to see if what ive planned is realistic or not. Anyway, glad you’ve e found something that works. Its only taken me some 50 years to do so! ☺️
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Dec 22, 2020 12:01 am

Im so glad to hear that you are at a really good place with food!

Sounds like you also have figured out a good system to not feel overwhelmed. Linda, I do something similar with my bullet journal as well! I love that next week box! :D

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Dec 23, 2020 6:51 pm

Auto: you are so right!! I think that is the secret of sustainably, yet so hard to find the right level where it isn’t too strict or too loose!!

Pink & Linda: it sounds like you both have amazing systems!! I always love the look of bullet journals!!

I think I like being busy, maybe that’s why I always love Christmas!! I’m the opposite of my mom & she usually seems annoyed with me, so I always have to downplay everything & hide any effort I put into things :lol: She hated Christmas but always made it special for me & my brother so I love that about her!! She just seems to take it as a personal insult that I’m not that way. I think we’re all so different & what’s fun to one of us is miserable to another.

I’m amazed at how great I’ve done with my version of No S lately!! I think being busier means I think less of food overall but usually this time of year can feel overwhelming at times & food is so much part of the fun that I can overeat & drink to add to the fun. I made cookie dough last night & didn’t want any at all. I ended up trying it because the consistency seemed off, but in the past I’d always struggle with cookie dough. It really feels different with working to habituate something satisfying at meals. It’s meant a lot of bagels, but so much less food overall. Basing my meals on too many shoulds doesn’t leave me feeling done the way basing it on habituating something I really want does. I’ve tried everything to eliminate that part of me that always wants “more”, more protein, more nutrient dense foods, more veggies to add “volume”, more water,& even more satisfying foods, but jumping from one to the next meant never habituating anything & tending to overdo it on all of it. Nothing has ever worked the way that habituating one food at a time this way has. Knowing I can have more of something nourishing keeps me from having too much of the satisfying food & knowing I can have the satisfying food again at my next meal keeps me from feeling deprived with stopping at enough. I do wonder if what I needed the most was just a diet higher in carbs. I always felt like I was having enough of them, but deep down the entire group seemed to fall under the category of less nourishing & more processed :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:09 pm

I didn’t do as well during Christmas as I would have liked. I have really noticed lately that when my “deck is stacked” I eat better. My deck is stacked when I’m busy but have time to keep my house clean, shower, keep up with work, take good care of my family, get enough alone time, and good sleep. When I start having to short change myself on any of those things I quickly get overwhelmed & tend to turn to food & drinks to cope. I’ll have that extra helping or extra drink that never leaves me feeling better, yet feel unable to make better choices. It’s similar to decision fatigue, I just run out of steam!!

I didn’t beat myself up over it though. I felt total compassion for myself & made some reminders for next year to start things like Christmas cards earlier & simplify the meals a bit. Yesterday & today I’m finally back on track & it feels amazing!!

We’re spending this week at the cabin. I’d like to say it’s been perfect but we’ve had some moody teens & I’ve needed a few days to recover. Today feels better again!! I have to remind myself a lot that not every moment gets to be great & honestly I think the crappy moments make us appreciate the good ones more :lol:

My New Years Resolution is to try & keep my deck stacked by taking on less but also being more organized & focused on what I do choose to take on. I want to shower, and get ready earlier each day because a I notice I feel so much better when I do and make a point of tidying my house. My grandma used to say “messes make me nervous” and I think I’m the same way!! I just feel better in a more tidy environment!! Hoping I can end the year strong as far as eating/glass ceiling goes!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Kittson » Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:43 pm

When I start having to short change myself on any of those things I quickly get overwhelmed & tend to turn to food & drinks to cope.
This is so relatable! Turning to food during times of stress is definitely why there are a few extra pounds on my body that I'd rather not have.

Wishing you non-moody teens and a beautiful day at the cabin. That sounds so nice.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Dec 30, 2020 4:22 pm

Me too on the couple extra pounds Kittson!! Oh how I wish I was one of those who lost their appetite & couldn’t eat when they were stressed :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Dec 30, 2020 4:34 pm

“messes make me nervous”
Yes, yes, yes. I also do much better when I spend 15 minutes cleaning in the morning before working on any mental activities.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Dec 31, 2020 5:34 am

Me too on the cleanliness thing. Im just so much calmer and legit happier when our house is clean. I think im just very effected by my environment in general which is super annoying to ppl i think. If i dont like the vibe of a place, i just wont eat or shop there. I refuse to step into a Walmart because it just depresses me & i often ask for a different seat at a restaurant. So super annoying for my poor family.

So do you get up every morning and clean the house?
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Jan 04, 2021 5:36 pm

I feel the same about a messy environment. It got bad during my last semester of school so this year my goal is to get a regular habit and routine of cleaning every day. Hope you have been having a good holiday!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Jan 05, 2021 4:00 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels better in a clean house :D I can tell it makes such a difference in how I feel but teenagers sure make it hard, especially with all of us home 100% of the time. The kitchen seems the hardest!! We all eat at different times for breakfast & lunch & teenager version of cleaning the kitchen when they are done is not really all that clean :lol:

The cabin was fun!! I still had to deal with a moody daughter at times, but we had a talk (i.e. I had a meltdown one night) & she tried harder & I worked not to taking her moods so personally!! We skied, hot tubbed, played games, and watched movies!! It’s always hard to leave but I love this time of year because we go every weekend!!

After my experiment where I habituated foods & focused more on satisfaction than nutrition I still had times where my eating was anything but perfect over Christmas Break so I decided to be done with that. Starting Jan 1st I made it my goal to make choices that felt better. I want to feel energetic & motivated which for me has meant more than just food, I’ve been drinking more water, taking a late afternoon walks, & doing things like tidying up too!! I’ve also noticed that thinking “what will leave me feeling good?” Has me second guessing extra food but also that “one more drink” where I know I won’t sleep as good. All & all it’s felt good so far!!

The real test will be when I hit my next day where where I don’t make choices that feel so great!! I’m really hoping I can quit making such a big deal about it & instead just make it my goal to move on from there making choices that feel better again ASAP!! IE has me brainwashed to feel like those days only happen when I’m restricting & constantly second guessing how I’m being restrictive, but Christmas Break proved otherwise where even with NO restriction I still didn’t make the best choices!!

Either way it feels great to be taking better care of myself!! I really do have so much more energy when I not only eat well, but also live well!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Jan 05, 2021 5:19 pm

Oh man! Yes with everyone being home all the time, keeping the house clean feels like an impossible dream sometimes. Moody daughters are tough sometimes! I am glad you had a talk and resolved some things.

That sounds like a great question to ask yourself "what will leave me feeling good?" such a nice reminder that we really eat to take care of ourselves.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Jan 08, 2021 12:49 am

Pink-it is so hard!! I think when this is over it’s going to feel weird to go back to normal!! I love having my crew around but feel like it will be good for all of us to not have everyone home so much :lol:

This week has been a whirlwind. We got home on Monday, cleaned up Christmas, did returns, tried to catch up on work, & cleaned the entire house that was left a bit of a disaster after Christmas. It actually felt really nice to be back to “normal” with the kids having online school to focus on & me having time to cook dinners & get caught up around the house!!

Me & my husband came to the cabin today to do a few things for the new house up here & my kids are meeting us up tomorrow so we get a night just us two and tomorrow I can focus on work without any distractions :D

My version of No S with a goal of eating to feel good has been going great!! I’ve noticed slightly smaller meals during the day leaves me feeling more energetic & that has motivated me to stop at enough!! I’ve also honored glass ceiling this week noticing how much better I sleep skipping the “extra” drink & how that leads to feeling more motivated & productive during the day.

I have been including 8 milk duds after lunch. If I want more I can have frozen blueberries instead, but have a “no seconds” on the Milk Duds that I’ve been good at sticking to so far. I’m hoping adding a little satisfaction to my day will keep my weekends from turning to an excuse to have extra & keep me from taking everything too far where I create a system that isn’t sustainable.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 3:27 am

The cabin with just my husband has been nice!! It feels good to not feel any guilt. Mom guilt is hard!! I’ve always wanted to be a good mom & am constantly reminding myself how quickly it goes & to enjoy it. It’s a lot of pressure & feels nice to have to a break from being the mom for a day :lol:

Last night I was hungrier & had extra but no regrets!! I feel like I’m due for some hungrier days after so many less hungry ones!! Today I tried to trade my Milk Duds for hot cocoa with skim milk & realized quickly that was a mistake. I was fighting the urge to have Milk Duds after the cocoa & realized it was a TERRIBLE use of will power & just had them. The Milk Duds leave me satisfied & even though the cocoa made with cocoa powder, milk, & sugar might be less processed, if it doesn’t leave me feeling DONE it will backfire!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 12:20 am

My weekends have felt much better since I started walking for 20 minutes late in the day. Right as that time of day hits where I start feeling tempted to look for a snack, I’ve chosen to walk first & it seems to energize me enough that I’m no longer interested in what’s in the pantry!!

My month where I habituated bagels seems to have helped too!! I’ve noticed that I don’t feel the same pull that I used to for things. I bought blueberry muffins this weekend for the cabin & genuinely preferred oatmeal. I’m loving how eating better has left me feeling more energized & I wasn’t willing to trade that feeling for the blueberry muffin.

Last night I did have a little extra pizza & ranch & added 8 milk duds after for dessert, but good overall for a Friday!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Jan 10, 2021 5:56 pm

That is really great that you have noticed you feel more energetic after smaller meals and so have an internal motivation rather than an external one. Sounds like the milk duds idea is working great! I have pondered adding dark chocolate to my meals on a daily basis but I am still a little torn. Good for you for realizing that you wanted milk duds and not the hot cocoa!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Jan 11, 2021 12:19 am

I’ve done the dark chocolate thing too Pink! And sometimes I go through phases where I don’t do anything at all. I’m never totally sure what is best & seem to keep changing my mind about it :lol:

Yesterday I had extra & was really happy about it!! I’ve been reading my old posts & can see how eventually a day where I choose “want right now” over “feel better later” is expected & DOES NOT mean something has gone wrong, but is just part of MY balance. I started to notice yesterday it took more willpower to choose “feel better later”. So it wasn’t much of a surprise when last night I had extra chips & Queso, & an extra drink plus a bacon burger, potato chips & 12 Milk Duds. I woke up feeling excited to get back to choosing “feel better later” but not to make up for last night, just because I’ve genuinely liked feeling more energetic & could tell that my willpower tank was on full again.

That’s the balance I’m working for in 2021. Enjoying both the times with less & the times with more without acting as if it’s this binge restrict cycle that must be avoided.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:49 am

I think that’s a good way of looking at it all. I tend to be so black and white with my eating. I tend to need to be eating perfectly according to plan or im bingeing which i also sometimes call intuitive eating. Really neither are realistic. Both are going to happen.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Jan 13, 2021 4:48 pm

I relate to what you are saying here Jen. I feel like I have noticed that too. For example with the emotional eating I have struggled with, I chose not to use willpower, and I indulged myself for... probably about 5 days. And then, yesterday I was able to pretty easily choose not to emotionally eat. Maybe because I built my willpower back up and I notice I feel much better when I don't emotionally eat. Also not berating myself for "binging" just accepting that I needed/wanted some extra food to soothe myself this week. Not feeling guilt for it made it much easier to choose not to do it because I wanted to "feel better later" AND to not restrict to "make up for it".

Anyway, thanks for continuing to share your insights!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Jan 13, 2021 8:45 pm

Linda, I totally agree!! And me too on the perfect eating or not trying at all! It’s hard to find the sweet spot, but am really thinking balance for me is going to be accepting a mix of both great & not so great days without all the drama!

Pink: I always love reading your insights too!! 100% yes on the not restricting to make up for it!! I wish I would have learned that lesson so much earlier in life!!

I’m happy with my relationship with food this year. I feel like I have a good balance of self care & trying without expecting perfection. I had Milk Duds after dinner both nights last weekend & was so tempted on Monday to have them again after dinner but had a tea instead. I don’t want to create a habit of having them after dinner every night & can tell it can quickly become one. IE had me feeling that telling myself no was wrong, but some no’s for me feel better!! Dessert every night after dinner leads to less hunger at breakfast which makes that so much less enjoyable.

I’ve been thinking about what I am doing & there are elements of both IE & No S. I’m actually working on being less focused on my relationship with food in general. Less podcasts, less food related reading, and more music & reading for fun!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:51 pm

Yesterday was my son’s b-day & we went to dinner. Restaurants are at 25% capacity, but it was a Wednesday so I thought we’d be fine getting in, but I was wrong. It was an hour wait at the restaurant he wanted to go to & we were already starved. We found another place & were all hangry by the time we got there & the service was SO BAD. It was one of those nights you want to be great, but just isn’t. I was bummed because I would have made my son a cake, but he loves this dessert at the restaurant we were supposed to go to. The whole night felt like an epic fail. I try & remind myself it’s the bad moments that make the good ones that much better & my crew has a lot more good ones than bad ones, but it’s still a bummer when it’s a birthday!!

Considering how hungry I was I did okay. It just takes more food to feel satisfied when I get too hungry!! I came home & still didn’t feel done, but had 8 Milk Duds & knew I didn’t want more which was actually a good feeling, most of the time when I get too hungry I feel like a bottomless pit :lol:

I’ve felt a little bored with my “plan” & have been looking for other forms of entertainment. I think I like the excitement of trying something “new” and thinking it will lead to these great results. My hobby really has been trying to FIX my relationship with food, so it seems almost boring just to leave it alone :lol: 3 meals a day, including mostly nourishing food, but also making sure to have something satisfying, stopping at enough because I’m more energetic when I do, and getting right back to it after an off meal or day makes for a pretty boring “plan”!!

Having my todo app has really helped. Having a loose plan for what I need to do “next” keeps me from procrastinating & ending up overwhelmed. It also helps keep me from ever being bored because I have a whole list of things I can do plus a few extra goals like find 5 things to give away & pick an area for a 15 minute deep clean.

I’m also really working on adding in more fun reading & we started Bridgerton which I am loving!! It’s something besides food or drinks to look forward to at night!! Plus we have our family show of Cobra Kai which I really love too, although it’s really cheesy :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 15, 2021 12:09 am

Sorry about your bad restaurant experience. Ugh, that would have bummed me out too but of course you couldn’t have know. Maybe you can still bake him a cake this weekend or something? In general though covid bdays just suck though so don’t feel too badly. Next year all our bdays will be epic!

And omg, loving Bridgerton too!!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:40 pm

Sorry about your sons birthday dinner! That is a bummer, but such a positive way to look at things. The bad moments do make the good ones better!

I know what you mean about getting bored with your plan. For me, I have discovered that any attempt to switch it up doesn't work and makes me more obsessed with food, but sometimes obsessing over food feels comforting to me. Maybe because its familiar?


We just watched the first episode of Bridgerton last night. Even my anti period piece husband enjoyed it, so that's saying something! :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Jan 16, 2021 11:55 pm

Linda: Thats so true about next years birthdays! After COVID I think we’ll all end up appreciating things so much more!! I ended making him a pie last night (: He’s been wanting one & I’ve never made one before. It was actually really fun!!

Pink: Me too on the obsessing part! And on thinking it can be comforting, it’s a nice distraction from real life worries!!

I had been telling my daughter to watch Bridgerton but then got to the racier parts & squashed that idea :lol: It’s so good though!! It makes me want to race to bed at night & I swear watching romance stuff is good for my marriage, it makes me want to act more like we’re dating :)

Last night we got to the cabin & watched Karate Kid 2. I had an extra hungry day & could tell eating lite wasn’t going to cut it!! I added frozen blueberries to my lunch & had a big salad before dinner with ranch, Chex, & cut up string cheese that helped, and a big piece of apple pie with ice cream after homemade chicken noodle soup. I noticed the little voice that told me I already had extra why not have even more & realized how crazy dieting made me. Instead I knew I didn’t want to wake up not hungry for breakfast & chose not too!! IE also made me crazy where I’d blame needing all the extra on being too restrictive during the week :lol: I’m not sure what I’m doing, but if I had to call it something it would be intentional eating. No S is kind of the loose foundation where I base it around 3 meals a day & stopping at enough (no seconds) but it’s very lose where I have salad before dinner when I need it & include sweets, and don’t take complete S days, but do tend to have extras & plan for bigger treats on the weekends. IE plays a part too with honoring hunger & no off limit foods & not doing anything to manipulate my body to be a size it’s not meant to be.

Tonight my brothers family is coming for dinner which should be fun. We always have fun with them!! We made some apps & are just ordering pizza.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 17, 2021 1:40 am

Intentional eating—I love it! So funny about bridgerton. I swear I think it’s doing wonders for a lot of marriages. I was listening to a podcast (bitch sesh) the other day and the host was saying how the show was responsible for things getting steamier in her marriage lately and I realized that was definitely true for me as well. I think it’s the kind of eroticism that most women actually enjoying watching as opposed to so much of what we normally see in tv. Probably directed at men? 🙄

Well done in the pie. Such a good momma!💜💜
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Jan 17, 2021 11:09 pm

That’s so true Linda!! Normal sex scenes ore always so proper, Bridgerton ones show a whole other level of passion!!

My brother’s family stayed late & we had Margs so my sleep was not great!! Being tired today means I feel like eating but I’m not hungry. It’s pretty easy to recognize this fake hunger because I don’t want a salad or fruit, i just want more Milk Duds or something like a cinnamon sugar bagel. I’m getting things done & reminding myself that all eating will do is fuel the habit & ruin my dinner!! IE made me believe that if I gave myself unconditional permission to eat eventually these times wouldn’t happen but that was not the case for me!! Feeling tired leads to jonesing for food & all giving in does is leave me feeling good in the moment but worse overall!!

Yesterday was good enough for a cabin/hang with friends sort of day. I have low key social anxiety where I have to be really mindful or I’ll eat extra to deal with the anxious feelings. I noticed it was worse last night where normally it’s not bad at all with my brothers family. We’ve hardly seen other adults with COVID & I’m out of practice :lol: It’s always the apps that I find myself grazing on & tend to want dessert at the end of the night & last night was no different. The rest of the day was good though. That’s so much better for me than when my weekends were cheat days & I’d overdo it all day long!!

Tonight we’re meeting my brothers family out so the cousins can bowl. My daughter is the only girl but has a cousin 10 days older than her who is her favorite cousin which is so cute!! My daughter is a lot like me & her cousin is a lot like my brother & we were SO CLOSE growing up!! It was getting married & having families of our own that meant we quit talking as much. My husband pretty much took my brothers place as my best friend :lol:

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