Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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pinkhippie
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:27 pm

I am only on episode 2 of Bridgerton! I haven't seen the sex scenes yet. I mean there was that first one... but I haven't seen much yet. I am interested to see what everyone is talking about.

That is sweet about your husband being your best friend. I feel the same way about my husband. The other day he called me his best friend and it made me feel all warm and melty inside. :)

I definitely find myself wanting to nibble after socializing. It sounds like you do a great job being aware of it!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 20, 2021 5:11 pm

What is this Bridgerton you are all talking about? ;-)

Since I have ZERO protected time for TV viewing, it sounds like it's probably not something I can watch with kids around. :roll:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 21, 2021 5:19 am

I finished the first season loved it and am now reading the books. Auto: you need to sneak it on your ipad or something. ;)
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Jan 22, 2021 4:37 pm

auto its a Netflix Original. We are on episode 5 now!

Linda I plan to read the books after we finish this first season as well. I do like a good romance novel that is well written.

Jen hope you are doing well!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:24 pm

Auto: It’s worth finding a way to watch it in my option :lol:

Linda: Are the books good, even after the show where you know what will happen? I love reading & was also tempted to read, but wondered if it wouldn’t keep my interest since I already know the outcome!!

I’ll hopefully be back later to actually post. This week has been busy. January is a crazy time at work for me, but I’m actually enjoying it :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 23, 2021 3:47 am

I am really enjoying the book so far. It gives a lot more detail and is actually clarifying a few things for me.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Jan 23, 2021 3:55 pm

That’s awesome Linda!! It’s going on my reading list!!

This week has been busy, but in a good way. I’ve gotten into a good rhythm where I’m organized enough to handle a busy week.

I had a night where I didn’t get good sleep & could tell I was really struggling not to eat the next day after lunch even though I knew I wasn’t hungry which always happens on low sleep!! I finally realized that I didn’t have it in me to white knuckle it until dinner & sat down & had 8 milk duds as a snack & reminded myself that as long as I didn’t throw in the towel, having extra was a total victory because normally on days like this I’ll have “just a couple” and keep having “just a couple” so for me this was so much better!!

This time around I’m really working on being more mindful of times with more & making those days count. I’m positive I’ll have days where I don’t do as well as I did this week, but if I just focus on allowing times with more & moving on I’ll be in much better shape!! So far this year I’ve done such a good of self care with nourishing foods & satisfaction where I’m not going over board with the “self care.”

Most of the time though I’ve been keeping it to 3 meals a day about 5 hours apart. I get hungry for meals but not starving. I think I used to try & wait until I was a little too hungry for meals but notice that makes it harder to stop at enough & I’m better off eating sooner. My clothes are fitting well again & I’m assuming I’ll start getting hungrier as I get to the lower end of my set point weight & want to add in more veggies & fruit when I do!! I have a tendency to feel good about how my clothes fit & not want to ruin my progress & almost work to eat less which ends in disaster when it’s not sustainable!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 23, 2021 3:59 pm

Ah yes, that delicate balancing act of remaining on point with our moderation goals without flipping into too-strict-ultimate sabotage.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Jan 24, 2021 6:39 pm

Yes I used to do the same thing with waiting a little too long to eat meals, and then it felt like my stomach was a bottomless pit. Its good that you are aware of that and also aware that sometimes its just better to not white knuckle it and eat what you want/need. I really think that makes for a sustainable way of eating that you are able to do for the rest of your life.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:00 pm

Auto-It is a delicate balance :lol: And balancing act is just it with me, teetering between a little extra permissive & a little less permissible which I’ve finally realized is my sweet spot!!

Pink: it does feel sustainable. Willpower & white knuckling have never really ended well for me. Sure it works for a while but eventually my willpower runs out!!

Things have still been going well. I’ve had one red day this month which I’m actually okay with. I rate my days blue-green-yellow-orange-red so it’s not so pass/fail & it’s more about eating past full or eating when I’m not hungry, not about following external rules. I think for me it’s normal to have a day where I’m running on empty & fall back into old habits. I read that it’s the willpower part of your brain that is the first to shut down when stressed/overwhelmed. It said the best thing to do is to notice how you feel because the other parts of your brain are more about avoiding pain than future goals so knowing getting too full feels terrible vs feeling guilt for making bad choices has better results when you run out of willpower.

I have been really focused on making choices that feel good which sometimes is recognizing white knuckling is draining my willpower & honoring the craving with seconds or a snack, and sometimes recognizing that it takes time for my brain to register satisfied & also that I have a habit of craving a snack at certain times of the day & distracting myself until the urge passes.I do notice I feel better on days when I don’t give into the urge, I’m hungrier at meals & seem to have more energy, and noticing that does make that choice easier to make most of the time!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 29, 2021 2:35 pm

When I am eating the way my body feels best, I love that light and energetic feeling! Heavy food weighs me down and makes me sluggish feeling. I think especially because of my blood sugar issues my energy is very sensitive to this.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 29, 2021 3:07 pm

Oh good info on the willpower. That does make sense. It seems to shut down with too much wine too! 😊
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:33 pm

Me too Auto!! I always hate how it’s easy to eat in a way that feels good when I feel good but when I don’t feel my best I tend to eat in a way that leaves me feeling even worse :roll:

Linda that is SO true!! I think it’s why it’s so easy to have the extra drink!! Or unnecessary food after drinks :lol: I really notice I struggle with that when socializing!!

Last night we had our neighbors to the cabin for dinner. I normally kind of wing it on nights like this & social anxiety can have me eating more than I’m hungry for, so last night I preplanned what to eat & had such a better outcome!! It kept me so much more mindful & I made a few swaps like extra appetizer that I was really liking instead of the cornbread that I planned to have with the soup. It felt so much better enjoying what I wanted without getting too full!!

I really think there is a lot to this willpower thing. I have started to realize a goal of weight loss has never worked long term because that goal relies mostly on willpower. Sure it works early on when I’m excited & have plenty of willpower but as time goes on & my willpower starts to deplete I quit doing as well!!

Feeling my best is something I need less willpower for. Remembering how lethargic I feel when I graze on the weekends leaves me feeling much less tempted to graze. It’s immediate gratification vs. long term results & the part of my brain that only cares about right now & wants to increase pleasure but avoid pain needs a reason to say no to the pleasure & future goals don’t interest that part if the brain.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Feb 02, 2021 2:52 pm

I think focusing on how you feel when eating a certain way makes a lot of sense. I’m pretty sure that’s how “naturally” thin ppl make eating decisions or at least a big part of it.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Feb 03, 2021 9:36 pm

really think there is a lot to this willpower thing. I have started to realize a goal of weight loss has never worked long term because that goal relies mostly on willpower. Sure it works early on when I’m excited & have plenty of willpower but as time goes on & my willpower starts to deplete I quit doing as well!!

Feeling my best is something I need less willpower for. Remembering how lethargic I feel when I graze on the weekends leaves me feeling much less tempted to graze. It’s immediate gratification vs. long term results & the part of my brain that only cares about right now & wants to increase pleasure but avoid pain needs a reason to say no to the pleasure & future goals don’t interest that part if the brain.
This is all just so true for me that I had to quote the whole thing. I have been realizing the same exact thing.

Hope you are doing well!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Sat Feb 06, 2021 7:37 am

I agree totally that weight loss as the only goal does seem to take too much willpower.

I'm in this for health reasons now, weight loss and vanity were the reasons I started but health is keeping me going. I'd actually be happy weight wise if I didn't lose any more but my health needs me to.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Feb 12, 2021 4:16 pm

We took a last minute trip to Disney World over Super Bowl weekend so I’ve been MIA. It’s made life chaotic both before & after. We had fun but traveling with COVID kind of taints everything. With kids in college/heading to college so soon me & my husband have wanted to make the most of the time left.

I don’t do well when we travel without exercise. It doesn’t have to be formal, even if I get up & walk a few miles it’s enough, but without it I don’t feel as good. Aside from walking from line to line I didn’t get exercise when I was gone & it really made me realize that exercise for me is a bit of an antidepressant. I’m less anxious, and more enthusiastic, energetic, & happy when I get it. Because I wasn’t getting that in Disney World I turned to food. I didn’t recognize it until after the trip but I ate extra trying to make the trip feel more fun. I came home feeling awful, but it was really good because it shed some light on how doing that makes things so much less fun & has made me realize structure really helps me with emotional eating!! It’s why my version of No S works when I’m sticking to the habits!!

When it comes down to to every diet, plan, anti diet thing I’ve ever done has been with a goal of stopping emotional eating because it always feels terrible. It’s crazy to me how hard it can be to choose “feel better later” over “want right now.” Ultimately I think it’s something I’ll never actually eliminate. Some of us I think just turn to food when we don’t have enough in us to make better choices. What I can do though is work to keep my “tank full” and plan ahead because gentle boundaries & loose structure lead to better results especially on harder days!!

Being home has felt great getting back into my 3 meals of what I want, 7 days a week. I’ve been working to include more fruit & veggies, mostly to get rid of the ick feeling after a long weekend of eating terribly :lol: My goal is to use structure to help me out on days where I know I’ll be tempted to eat emotionally. It especially happens on vacation & when we socialize (social anxiety). I usually either set the bar too high “no extra eating AT ALL” that leads to throwing in the towel when I don’t live up to that, or too low & eat whatever I want whenever I want to & feel terrible (this trip). Instead I’m going to start planning for extra like I plan my “normal” days. I have a hard time planning for extra because in my days of calorie counting, less food was always the goal so intentionally planning for extra seems wrong :lol: if I can make my “off days” more tame it will have a much bigger impact in how I feel & how my clothes fit than my “on” days ever will though!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Feb 12, 2021 5:38 pm

So awesome that Disneyworld is open!! We have kind of contemplated going there, but then we had the big dog surgery expense. I still kind of wonder if we should just try to make it happen somehow.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Feb 12, 2021 9:07 pm

We had planned a trip to Disneyworld last summer! But then... pandemic. We do have family members who went in December and they said safety protocols are super high. Maybe this summer...

I know what you mean about eating extra to try to have more fun. I did that over the holidays this year too. And after the last vacay I went on, I think I gave up junk food for months just because I felt so bad! At least we can hear what our bodies are telling us and that is great! I know there was a time when I wouldn't have heard what my body was telling me. I have a hard time planning for extra too. My husband gets annoyed with me because he says I always am trying to eat as little as possible rather than as much as possible. It's true really, and its hard to make that mental shift when my body or my soul needs more food! Sounds like you are doing a great job working on that.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Feb 13, 2021 7:14 pm

Auto/Pink: Disney World was fun & they were taking temps on the way in the park & enforcing masks. It still felt crowded but a lot was outdoors at least where you feel it’s harder to spread!! I’m still avoiding my best friend who is nervous to get it though because it did seem like risky COVID behavior being there!! Me personally couldn’t do it in the summer, the masks felt suffocating at times & it never got above 80. I do great with masks inside but it’s the heat outdoors that gets me!!

Pink: Me too on the not listening to my body!! I used to come home from vacation so focused on weight gain & guilt & plans to make up for “bad eating”. Now I really recognize that it makes me feel physically miserable. I actually think the more I connect those dots the easier it will be to break the habit of eating emotionally in a way that feels terrible. Recognizing feeling terrible makes using emotional eating as a coping skill less appealing!! And I really do think if I learned to listen to my body needing extra food without guilt it would make a huge difference in my relationship with food!! You always have good insight on all of that!!

I caught myself thinking I should have a light weekend after the vacation but quickly squashed those thoughts & opted just to stick to normal. Last night I had an extra drink & chips/salsa before my whole burrito. The “you should have eaten less” voice made me feel tempted to have Milk Duds after dinner but I had tea instead. It’s funny that the perfectionist voice probably more often than not leads to bad choices. That’s where I really need to tap into how I want to feel!! I knew Milk Duds would lead to feeling too full & less hunger & less enjoyment at Breakfast so I chose not to have them.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Feb 13, 2021 9:42 pm

Yeah our family member told us they were asking people to leave if they didn't have masks on so I know they were enforcing a lot. I know what you mean about not being able to do that in the summer, masks and outdoor heat feel so much worse!

I think you did a great job listening to your body and not eating light after vacation due to "bad eating" guilt. I appreciate your insights on your relationship with food as well! It seems like we are often working on similar things, and you are so good at verbalizing your thoughts on it.

Also, an awesome victory on not having milk duds because you felt like you should have eaten less. The same exact thing happens to me. When I feel like I ate too much, sometimes that makes me want to eat MORE or more treats and then I feel even worse. I imagine choosing tea felt a lot better for your body as well.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Feb 16, 2021 1:36 am

Pink: I always feel like we are similar in our approach too & love reading your posts :D

Things have been going well for me!! I love this Instagram person I follow called hooper.fit she has a similar approach to what I do with 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, based on hunger & including “fun” foods with meals. She had a post that talked about habits being more important than results & that first you must get the habit down & once that happens the results will follow.

I realized that I have great habits for working out & eating on “normal” days, but where I need work is on non-normal days where I am more tempted to eat emotionally. For me, I don’t want all 7 days of the week to look the same. I enjoy having a little extra on weekends, holidays, & vacation, but also those days are the ones where I can be tempted to overdo it & and end up too full & feeling crummy because of it. When I have a solid plan I tend to do better. It’s the vague sense of “extra when I need/want it” that tends to backfire with emotional eating. Committing to extra gives me something too look forward to & makes it less tempting to overdo it or graze. I’m someone who does better with structure!! I’ve NEVER enjoyed grazing but will find myself falling into the trap of doing things like grazing on appetizers when socializing or eating too many chips at a Mexican restaurant & ruining my dinner. If instead I plan to have a plate of apps & wait until dinner to have more, it keeps me more mindful of what & how much I am actually eating & leaves me more satisfied than grazing does. I make a point of enjoying it more when I pay attention!! So that’s my main focus going forward. Creating a habit of better planning on non-normal days & intentionally planning for extra (as opposed to using this to eat so much less on non-normal days that it feels restrictive).

This week will be one that can typically be hard. We have friends coming to spend a few nights at the cabin with us. That’s always thrown me for a loop. I graze as a way to cope with social anxiety, feel pressure to eat breakfast/lunch with everyone even though I don’t always want to eat when/what everyone is which leaves me unsatisfied. I’m going to work on having a more solid plan for what to eat for my 3 meals & also quit trying to people please with my eating & eat what/when I want for breakfast & lunch .

I could tell last weekend that a solid plan really helps me!! I like structure with both time management & meals!! I really think that’s why S days didn’t work for me. The free for all became a free pass to eat emotionally. It was the same with IE, no structure lead to not enough reason to choose “feel better later” over “want right now”. With structure I know I’m not hungry because my meals leave me satisfied & that if there is something I want I can just plan to have it with my next meal.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:13 am

Totally right on the same page as you with the planning. Ive been watching this YouTuber (rachel sharp) who does adf and i realized she meal plans on her eat days pretty much every single day. It sort of hit me the other day that’s what i need to do too. Knowing good things are coming helps me feel safe and i dont feel such a strong compulsion to eat non-stop. Funnily though i think i eat less when in social situations but then again i think drinking is my coping mechanism for social anxiety which is definitely worse.

Anyway so glad you’re figuring out what works. Plus meal planning is fun!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Feb 17, 2021 5:24 pm

Have fun with your guests at the cabin! You guys sure spend a lot of time there. It sounds heavenly, although I get it that with visitors it won't be as relaxing!

And as for planning, I am a fan! I pretty much always plan my meals for the day each morning. On my thread. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:57 pm

I have trouble planning because I eat according to my mood so much. That is one reason I love No S so very much. I can decide what I want when I'm hungry and what Im hungry for because there are no food restrictions. I do meal plan for dinner, but I just have a big list of recipes to make and figure out what I am in the mood for or what works for the family for that day.

Special occasions or differences in the day really throw me off my stride too! For example all these snow days.

I hope you are enjoying your time at the cabin!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Sammybunny711 » Thu Feb 18, 2021 11:57 am

Mmmm. Snow. I wish we could get some of that in the South!!
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190- 1/2/21 (188. 8)
185- 4/3/21 (184.2)
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Feb 20, 2021 6:36 pm

Linda: I noticed on your thread you were doing well with more planning!! I totally agree, it makes it less tempting to eat extra knowing there is something with being hungry for coming!! I actually do both, have extra drinks & extra food. We spend a lot of time with people where having drinks seems to be a big part of it. I’m usually more mellow than most, but it’s still a lot.

Auto we are here a lot!! It’s only an hour & a half from home & is me & my husband’s happy place. We don’t really like home that much. We’re there until our kids graduate, but we have one foot out the door there :lol:

Pink: I could totally see that!! My daughter & son are like that too. I will know what sounds good, but don’t really care when I have it, I’m super patient with cravings :lol: I knew at the beginning of the week I wanted Chinese while we’re here but didn’t really care when, so all week I’ve had it planned for Saturday night.

Sammy: Snow is fun (in the mountains anyway, much less so in the Suburbs) !! We had little boys from California who were so excited to see it here :lol:

Our friends left today & having a little more structure worked so well while they were here!! Having slightly bigger dinners & extra drinks with guests means I’m usually less hungry during the day & won’t feel hungry enough for both breakfast & lunch so I’ll eat just one. The problem with that is I get extra hungry at dinner & tend to WAY overdo it, so this time I kept my schedule of both breakfast & lunch but just ate a little less & it worked so much better!! I wasn’t as tempted to graze before dinner & since that wasn’t in the plan, it was easy to wait for dinner!! Dinners were much more mild having an idea beforehand of what to eat. I picked things I was really excited about that left me feeling done & not coming home looking for dessert. I’m someone who does so much better with structure so it makes sense that I’ve always struggled on weekends/vacation when I “loosen up” and am not as structured. I’ve always stuck to my usual 3 meal rhythm on weekends/vacation but it’s the “what” that I never was as intentional with. It never occurred to me to create structure that intentionally included extra!!

I did really good at managing my social anxiety this time too!! Whenever I started down the path of beating myself up for something I did/said I reminded myself that I’m a pretty considerate, generous person & that if they didn’t like me for me, there wasn’t much I could do about it. It really hit me that working to be the perfect friend wasn’t going to be something I could sustain. I just had to be me, flaws & all, and not worry so much about if that was enough or not. I’m hoping I can start going treating all relationships like that, putting less pressure on myself to be perfect & taking it less personally that I’m not for everyone.

Today it’s just me & my crew. We’re having a chill morning & skiing after lunch. Then we’re ordering chinese & watching a movie tonight. After 3 nights of hanging with friends & having extra drinks it sounds amazing to have a low key night!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Sun Feb 21, 2021 4:03 pm

Your day plans with the family sound so so wonderful. Skiing, Chinese food, and a movie?! Perfect day!
I just had to be me, flaws & all, and not worry so much about if that was enough or not. I’m hoping I can start going treating all relationships like that, putting less pressure on myself to be perfect & taking it less personally that I’m not for everyone.
Yeah. All of that ditto for me.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Feb 21, 2021 8:51 pm

I just had to be me, flaws & all, and not worry so much about if that was enough or not. I’m hoping I can start going treating all relationships like that, putting less pressure on myself to be perfect & taking it less personally that I’m not for everyone.
Yep I was going to requote the same thing. I had just sent a text to a friend and I was kind of agonizing over it. Was I nice enough? Did I sound interested enough and caring enough? And then I decided, this is me and I have to be ok with it. If they have a question about something I said it's up to them to ask it. I can't keep quadruple-guessing myself so everyone will like me. And then I got on here and saw what you had typed in your post. So, kind of like what you were saying. It's so true, and kind of a hard lesson to learn(and relearn) and keep working on. :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Feb 23, 2021 7:24 pm

Auto/Pink I love that that quote resonated :D And Pink that is totally me, overthinking texts!!

It felt nice to just be us after having guests!! We have been watching Ted Lasso which is SO GOOD!! Seriously such a feel good show that all of us LOVE which doesn’t happen often!! My son even puts his phone down for it :lol:

I decided my weekend should be like “normal” days after a week with a little extra which wasn’t realistic. It was still a mild weekend, but I did have unplanned extra. After experimenting with giving up Milk Duds last week it was candy that I pushed the limits on. Restricting, even for the “right” reasons (to feel good) doesn’t work for me. I just do better including small amounts daily or I feel the need to get it while I can when I do include it.

I’m putting a tighter ceiling on number of drinks. I always have a daily ceiling, but it changes based on what’s going on & is probably a bit too high overall. I’m going to have a weekly limit instead so that I can choose each night, but once the weekly ceiling is hit, no more. It’s already made me be more mindful if it’s worth it to have one or “one more” and when I’m stealing from future me, it’s a little less appealing. Plus we like having a couple on date night & weekends so it’s worth waiting instead of wasting them on a “Tuesday”.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Feb 24, 2021 5:33 pm

I have been trying the sweets everyday strategy since I got my Valentine's Candy. I have noticed it seems to cut down on weekend S madness which is something I have suspected is an issue for me for a while. But, I have to use extreme willpower to only have a small predetermined amount every day, instead of just not having it at all. It's still an experiment in progress. But it feels more natural to me rather than just tanking up on sweet stuff on the weekends. Anyway, just to say I think I may do better not restricting, even if it is to "feel good" also. :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Feb 24, 2021 5:48 pm

But, I have to use extreme willpower to only have a small predetermined amount every day, instead of just not having it at all.
Pinkie - this is exactly my situation with alcohol

Jen - I'm right with you on moderation with alcohol. Well, actually at the moment I have given up on moderation and hence just taking a clean break. So much energy put into moderation and at the moment I have other things I need my energy for!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Feb 24, 2021 11:44 pm

Auto, yes it is tough! I guess my goal is to achieve the habit of moderation all the time. Like maybe somewhere along the way I got in the habit of gorging on sweets, and I am trying to get the habit of eating a moderate amount. We will see!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:12 pm

Auto: moderation is hard!! For me I usually focus on the number & while I am focusing on the number somewhat, I’m focusing more on being mindful about how I feel before, during, and after I heard that a drink typically has 20 minutes “up” followed by a down that leaves you needing another. That has actually really helped me be more mindful of if I really want to start that yo-yo with my emotions.I do feel drinks are fun but leave me feeling lethargic & meh after. No drinks is less fun but I feel good all night.

Pink: with sweets everyday I do great during “normal” times. I tell myself I can have fruit if I’m still “hungry” but no more sweet. On a day when I feel off though, I still can find myself having “a little more” but it’s pretty rare. That’s where last weekend I realized “no sweets” wasn’t going to help, I’d just eat in a way that felt crappy on the weekend & end up with the same total amount as if I just had a little each day :lol:

I’m in such a good place at the moment with drinks & food. I’ve been so much more mindful about both & feel great. As the days get longer though I tend to struggle less with eating more than enough. Not sure if my body likes keeping extra weight on in the winter or if it’s just the winter blues that leave me using food as a crutch to feel better. Still tweaking the balance of adding fruits & veggies but being less hungry for meals. I can’t eat less “normal” food without feeling deprived, but adding fruits & veggies tends the leave me less hungry & it will take hours (6+) to be hungry again, but it doesn’t feel good to wait longer than 5 hours to me. If my weight came down a little I think I’d need the extra food so I probably just need to be patient!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:22 pm

Yes that is what I was coming to realize with the sweets situation too. Eating a lot on the weekend to make up for the N days was pretty much leading to the same amount only feeling really terrible because I ate more than was good for me in a single day.

I think my body likes a little extra weight during the winter for sure! It sounds like you are doing great with your food and your drink. Onward with patience! :)

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Feb 26, 2021 4:17 pm

Yesterday I woke up too early (4:45) and was tired. Being tired is an immediate drain on my willpower tank. It’s hard to feel motivated, I procrastinate, and usually feel more hungry & crave carbs, looking to food for to help me through the day. I had a little extra at lunch even more at dinner. I felt actual hunger, but definitely wanted carbs and ended up getting a little too full. Days where I “need” more are part of life for me. I’ve noticed how much more calm things are now than how they used to be. Habituating food, no off limits foods, structure of 3 meals a day, eating what I “want” (that is both mentally & physically satisfying vs only what my taste buds want), avoiding “diet” foods, and being more mindful of how I want to feel have all made such a huge difference in my relationship with food!! My goal has always been the PERFECT relationship with food but that isn’t realistic. I’m going to be tired, overwhelmed, or hit times where extra food is part of the fun & eat in a way that doesn’t feel good. Today I feel much better after a good nights sleep!! We head to the cabin later so today will be busy getting ready for that. We’ve gotten in a bad habit of takeout/eating out too much so I’m working on dinners at home. I do like the break from cooking though so tonight I’m just doing roast beef sandwiches with ruffles potato chips that is at least an easy dinner!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Feb 27, 2021 9:44 pm

Love sandwiches with ruffles for dinner! One of my favorites. I have been trying to make more healthy meals lately too, but I always like to have those easy dinners in my back pocket.

Hope you have a great weekend at your cabin and catch up on your sleep!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Mar 02, 2021 5:09 pm

Pink I figure those easy dinners are better for us than eating out too :lol:

I’ve actually been trying to use up food & plan all meals on what we have & have less overall around. It seems good for my whole crew & I’m excited to really simplify the options. I feel like when there are less options leftovers get eaten & we waste less food too!! I’m working to do the same with my closet, fewer options & using what I have!!

As I have fewer drinks I notice I can get tempted to turn to sweets instead. Being better at planning for extra wasn’t as easy as I wanted it to be on the weekends. Some nights I’m fine without dessert & don’t want to force it, but do want to have it when it’s something worth it, so overall I’m working to just be more mindful & focus on wanting to feel good & be hungry later. I realized this weekend that less food at night feels way better!! Friday I had Ruffles before dinner that made my sandwich less enjoyable & extra Milk Duds after & Felt lethargic & fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. The next night I waited until dinner & enjoyed it so much more & actually had room for the cinnamon breadsticks my daughter made. The night was so much more fun!! It made me want to eat less on Sunday night instead of feeling like I should eat less which is a lot more motivating!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:07 pm

Great idea with meal planning. I do that too, especially after the covid lockdowns! Our pantry actually can't hold all my food anymore and extends to our kitchen floor. Not ideal for spring and bug season. But, I have picky kiddos so it makes it a bit more challenging to come up with meal plans using pantry staples.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 03, 2021 11:28 pm

I’ve been looking at my cupboards and freezer and thinking I may not buy groceries this week except maybe a bit of produce so we can start to use up some of it. Too many things are hidden and therefore go unused. Awesome on the wardrobe too. I was down to something like 34 pieces of clothing total (I didn’t count shoes) but it’s slowly but surely crept up. I have been using Armoire which is a clothing rental place. I love it because I can try lots of different things and it’s sustainable. I also rent from a jewelry place. It’s fun!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:25 am

Linda - the rental clothes idea sounds so fun! I love that!

Pinkie - I'm with you on the pantry problems as well. I even have stuff expire, which makes me feel horrible!

Jen - I think I'm sounding like a broken record, but I LOVE menu planning. We eat very simply, mostly cycling through the same meals for the kids each week, but they seem happy with it and it's great for reducing waste and reducing my stress around meal preparation. And also, I'm totally with you on the sweets vs. alcohol thing. Amazingly, this time around on No Alcohol I've not given in to the sweets. I have no idea what the difference is, but I'm grateful!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by ladybird30 » Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:12 am

automatedeating wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:25 am
this time around on No Alcohol I've not given in to the sweets.
Good to hear.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:31 am

Pink, it’s hard with kids in general & mine aren’t even that picky. They’re just more “that doesn’t sound good” types so I’ve gotten in the habit of keeping too many choices on hand :lol: the crazy thing is without the choices they still find things to eat & get way more creative!! With smaller kids this would not work though :lol:

Linda, Armoire sounds awesome!! I always love to have “new” things to wear!!

Auto, that sounds like a set up I’d love!! I’m so repetitive with what I eat. I get on a kick & will be happy with the same breakfast/lunch for months at a time!! My husband & kids burn out quickly though so I’ve had to be careful not to overdo dinners!! It’s so much harder to use things up that way!!

I have been all over things lately, but recognized that I pushed myself too hard & it’s leaving my willpower tank totally empty after a few really good days so I’m finding ways to ease up. I’ve found this great way to keep myself productive & get to the most important things each day with “next up” to do’s & “top three” each day.

With that I’ve also been working on “no snacks”. I’m not really a snacker, but started having some of my “plate” of dinner early, but realized how much I enjoy my food more when I don’t do this & how much more energy I have at night because I end up eating less overall & don’t end up in an after dinner food coma. I also wake up hungrier for breakfast so it’s a much better way to live!!

On top of those things I was cutting WAY back on drinks to a level I don’t really feel is necessary. I enjoy having a drink with my husband as we make dinner & feel more attentive & engaged at dinner with my crew after a drink. One thing I’ve done has been to journal about whether the drink(s) are worth it or not which has made me want to cut down naturally. I’ve been trying to white knuckle my way into cutting them out all together & I don’t think I’m there yet, and am not sure that’s even my goal. A solid ceiling however does feel good & being more mindful of why I’m having a drink & if it’s worth it or not.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Soprano » Sat Mar 06, 2021 8:26 am

I love what you are doing re drink, focusing on how something makes us feel to make better future decisions is much better than just setting rules. I have been doing similar though not actually journalling :)


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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Mar 07, 2021 12:14 am

Soprano, it seems to work better in all areas!! Rules without a solid why behind it I’ve realized don’t seem to stick :lol:

We have my husbands sister & her two girls at the cabin with us this weekend. She actually works with me & is someone I’d be friends with even if I weren’t married to her brother!! I can’t help but worry about others & if they are having fun. It’s a really bad habit, taking on the feelings of others as my responsibility & I’m really trying to remind myself not to take that on, but can’t help but feel nervous, especially when things seem a little dull. They don’t ski & there’s only so much you can do right now without skiing. We’re going to play a game before dinner & right now everyone is watching movies or resting. I don’t sit still well so I have a hard time but feeling like we should be doing something though.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Mar 07, 2021 6:38 pm

I have the same issue with feeling responsible for everyone's feelings and if they are enjoying themselves and having fun. Try to remember it is their choice whether or not to have fun! Do you know what I mean? There are people who have fun no matter what they are doing, and I think it's because it's the choice they make and other people seem to be bored no matter what and I think that is their choice too. However, I don't ski but I know I would have fun in a cabin right now! It sounds amazing. I hope you have a good weekend and are able to relax.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Tue Mar 09, 2021 8:57 pm

I also noticed that I was pushing too hard the last few weeks. But my body basically just stopped obeying on Thursday afternoon. I was like a slug all weekend, and didn't even track my food.....! And I think it was EXACTLY what I needed. I think we just always need to work to find that work/life balance. It's a daily challenge, one that is never fully conquered. Each new morning we need to plan and assess what needs to be done, and what can wait, and who needs our love, and who WE need love from! :-)
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3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Mar 11, 2021 12:55 am

Pink, I loved what you said!! Especially about the people who have fun no matter what & vice versa!!

Auto, that is so me when I push myself too hard!! If I don’t create a little balance in my days, eventually my body will create it for me :lol:

It felt nice to have our guests leave. We had fun at night but I couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling during the day. For those that read Harry Potter it was a little like dementors were looming, sucking the energy :lol: after they left I realize I rarely worry about if I’m enjoying the experience. I want to work on caring a little more about my own feelings :lol:

I’ve been really working on keeping my wIllpower up by “right sizing the steps”. Trying without trying too hard. Whenever I feel I’m being “good” with productivity or eating or anything, it’s like pulling a rubber band & eventually I snap :lol:

I’ve been doing great with no snacking!! It’s felt a lot better to have a line in the sand there & I notice I have better energy & enjoy meals more when I don’t eat some of my meal early!

I’ve also been doing great at fewer drinks!! Being more mindful & journaling about if the drink was worth it or not & how I felt before, during, after (including the next day) has me wanting fewer as opposed to white knuckling & telling myself no which has never been a long term solution!!

I’ve been getting my most important things done, but also working on doing things like sleeping a little later & being more realistic about what I can/should do in a day. There was a day last week where I was spent & counting down the minutes until I could get in bed. How is that an enjoyable way to live? I wasn’t enjoying the night with my family at all!! Pushing myself that hard means I turn to food & drinks as a reward. All work & no play leaves me looking for enjoyment!! When I was in college I wasn’t counting down the minutes until meals or a drink (or bed) & it’s really because my life overall wasn’t one big to do list!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 12, 2021 5:29 am

Sounds like things are going well! I hear you on the never ending to do list. I once had a therapist who encouraged me to have a cut off time when i would put the to list away till the next day so i could relax and enjoy some family time. I still try to that still although i still have to deal with kitchen clean up and such.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Mar 12, 2021 9:31 pm

LOL at the Dementors! I know what you mean though... I think its great to worry about your own feelings rather than the peoples around you. I have trouble with that too.

I know what you mean about counting the minutes until meals or bed! It is not a fun way to live. I am glad you are trying to be a little easier on yourself and not pushing yourself so hard you aren't enjoying life. That sounds like really good self care.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Mar 13, 2021 4:29 pm

I like the cut off time Linda!! If I waited until all the to do’s were done to enjoy life, I never would :lol:

We have been at the cabin since Tuesday & our kids met us here on Thursday. They put in the floors at the new house & a lot was going on we needed to be around for. I’m so excited for the new place, but get a little sad to leave the cabin. My daughter wants to spend a weekend a year at the cabin (we’ll be renting it out) but I know that’s not realistic. Once we move our stuff over, we won’t be back. It’s weird to be SO excited about the new but SO SAD about the old all at the same time!!

We have our good friends coming to stay with us today & are really excited . We haven’t gotten to spend time with them since last summer. The whole family is a bit disordered in their relationship with food & is incredibly focused on being thin. It used to be hard for me to be around, but I’m happier enjoying food & it wouldn’t be worth it to me to be constantly struggling with food to weigh 5-10 pounds less. I do have to hide food when they come because they get so angry with themselves & their kids if they eat too many cookies/carbs so we’re all a lot happier without it around when they are here. It’s a little challenging for me because I need carbs, bu have gotten pretty good at having my own stash :lol:

The older my kids get, the more I crave meeting more friends!! I have really good ones but mostly from college where I don’t see them often & can tell it’s good for my soul when I do.

As for food & drinks, things are going really good for me!! Jeans are fitting looser & I’m not feeling deprived at all!! “Right sizing the step” has been good in all areas of my life!! Journaling & being incredibly mindful about drinks has made a huge difference there too!! Last night there was no “should I/shouldn’t I have another?” I actually knew I didn’t want one. I heard a study about smokers who had to sit with their urge to smoke, pull out the cigarette, smell it, light the lighter, all with being incredibly mindful of the feelings of the urge, not piling thoughts on it, or resisting it, just feeling the physical sensations of the urge. They all smoked after the experiment was done but the amazing thing was that the majority of them drastically cut back on smoking without trying. They showed themselves they could get through an urge. I’m working on doing that with both the urge to have a drink & the urge to emotionally eat. My goal isn’t to white knuckle it, but to pause, feel the urge, see if the urge passes, and decide after if I want the drink or the food. I’m tired of urges deciding for me & white knuckling & willpower have never been long term strategies. Knowing I just have to pause, eliminates the battle with my inner toddler & helps me focus on what an actually want & how I want to feel which helps me want to make better choices instead of only doing it because I think I should.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Mar 15, 2021 3:32 pm

Sounds like an exciting albeit a little bittersweet time for you all. That sounds very stressful having ppl around you so caught up in being thin but sounds like you’ve got it handled. I love the idea of sitting with your urges for a bit instead of either immediately indulging them or white knuckling through them. Neither of those feels great so awesome to have an alternate choice.
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Mar 15, 2021 5:51 pm

I agree with sitting with urges. It can be so hard to do though! I quit smoking many many years ago(in my twenties) by always having a pack of cigarettes on me. Knowing it was there and that I could smoke if I chose to, but I was choosing not to was SO much easier for my brain than just not having it available and feeling that frantic lack. So, it makes sense that it would work for food.

Sounds tough to deal with a family that focused on thinness. My extended family is actually that focused on thinness so I know where you are coming from! I hope you had a great time!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:42 pm

We have had a great time with our friends!! I notice as I’ve gotten further from overly restrictive diets I’ve done better with being around those that do them without feeling bad about my eating. We all got into the hot tub & while I couldn’t help feel “less than” I quickly reminded myself how unhappy I’d be putting that kind of effort in & honestly I’m not physically able to do it, my body fights back & binges.

We had these really good croissant sandwiches the first night & they both ate more than they wanted & tried to skip breakfast/lunch and were so grumpy by dinner last night. Watching them eat is just making up for past transgressions & then getting too hungry & being “bad” again. It’s a cycle I don’t miss!! Overall they eat very light but it’s a constant struggle. They love how being really thin makes them feel though so who am I to judge!! That is for them it is not for me is a saying I like but it’s more than that, it comes down to not judging them or me & letting our differences be ok!!

Other than that they are some of my favorite people to spend time with!! We’ve been friends forever & always say we’re more like family than friends. I love having people in my life like that!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Wed Mar 17, 2021 7:33 pm

I fell on the ice when we went night tubing & either bruised or cracked a rib. It has slowed me down & everything is harder to do. Walking loosens me up & helps me feel better, but that’s all the exercise I can do. I absolutely hate being so limited!! I don’t know when I’ll be able to ski again. As someone who is really active it’s so frustrating to have to slow down!! I’m lucky because I can still do a lot, but it’s hard not to focus on all that I can’t do & feel frustrated :lol:

We had a lot of fun with our friends that left yesterday but I was wiped!! We stayed up late with them & had extra drinks & I definitely crashed yesterday!!

I can tell now when my tank is DRAINED and every time I turn to food to cope. There’s a level of too drained where I just don’t have it in me to make better choices, all I can do is notice how it feels (terrible) and work to keep my tank from getting drained in the future. I am happy that I no longer binge or just throw in the towel. I’m mindful & pay attention to how the extra food tastes & feels & always get to a point where I know I physically do not want more. I’ve noticed I have so many fewer of these days & they are so much less extreme, but I have used food to cope for a long time & that habit doesn’t just disappear. The best thing is that there are so many things I can do to keep my tank from getting drained!! I used to just add food rules that NEVER worked (get sweets out of house, strict calorie limits on meals, less food or more exercise to make up for it). It was trying to fix the wrong problem. The problem wasn’t the food, it was the drained tank!! When instead I focus on keeping my tank full I have fewer of these days overall & noticing how they don’t actually feel good makes them less appealing. I have lists of what things feel good (tank fillers) and what things don’t (tank drainers) .

I love having guests & can tell seeing friends is good for my soul, but the pressure to be good hosts drains my tank!! Plus I never sleep as good, and usually have extra drinks which is a major tank drained I’ve realized!! I never realized how much until I started journaling about the experience. I don’t sleep as good, feel more anxious, and lack motivation the day after. As long as I stick to my glass ceiling I’m fine, but extra drinks are only fun in the moment!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:20 am

Oh no! So sorry about the injury. That sounds painful & frustrating for sure!

Great insight on the underlying issue of needing to keep your tank full. I am good with having guests for about 2 days and then im just done. It’s so emotionally draining for me because i feel like I always have to be on. It’s worth it but you’re right about really needing to being aware of how it’s making you feel. We once had friends that were supposed to stay a coupe of days but ended up staying a couple a weeks. Boy was that tough!

Anyway glad you had fun and hope youre able to rest up & heal quickly!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Mar 19, 2021 4:25 pm

Oh no! I hope you are healing up ok!

Just wanted to say that I agree with your insight about tank draining. That is so true! That is why in my opinion long term diets and diet rules don't work. It's not addressing the true issue which is that we have a habit of usinge food to fill our tank when we feel depleted. I love the idea of having a list of tank drainers and tank fillers!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:05 pm

Linda: me too on feeling the need to be “on” with visitors.

Pink: I totally agree!! Rules only work when things are going well!! There’s a reason we choose to eat more than our bodies need at times & rules can’t solve that for us!!

I have felt really frustrated with my cracked/bruised ribs!! It’s so much harder to do everything & yesterday I had to just slow down. At lunch I REALLY wanted another sucker but decided to ride out the urge for at leas 15 minutes. During that time I worked on cleaning the kitchen & doing laundry & got really upset & cried about how frustrated I was with being injured. My family helped & after that I felt so much better & didn’t want the sucker or anything else all afternoon. I think so many times I try to soothe/stuff down emotions with treats that don’t ever solve anything. I was kind of amazed how I actually felt better after crying where as having a sucker is like a bandaid. Feels good in the moment, but after the problem is still there. I quit pushing myself so hard & by last night my ribs actually felt better.

Tonight we’re taking our motorhome to visit my oldest at school for the weekend which should be fun. We’re seeing our same friends we were with last weekend too (they live in my sons college town)

I’m feeling pressure to focus more on “careful eating” with my cousins wedding coming in a few months but I know that always backfires so I’m trying instead to just focus on keeping my tank filled & good habits!! Trying to eat slightly less never works for long!!I am going to work on weekends a little though. We tend to eat out & have extra drinks where I feel like I go into “vacation” mode. It’s never terrible, but it’s like if I’m not being “good” I have more than I actually need. Like the difference between 2 pieces of pizza & 3. My body doesn’t need the extra, but I have an old habit of thinking “I’m not being good, might as well enjoy it”. It’s no where near the WTH effect I used to have where I’d eat WAY TOO MUCH, but it is an area I feel could be improved. It really shows how thinking in terms of “being good” or “being bad” doesn’t actually work. It’s always a bit of a challenge because for me I’m always going to have days where I eat lighter and days where I eat a little heavier. I actually like it that way!! But getting rid of the little voice that pushes the limits on the heavier days would make my relationship with food a lot better!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Mar 21, 2021 2:14 am

Ugh, so sorry about your injury. Sounds really frustrating/unpleasant. How great that you were able to figure out what you really needed instead of just running to food straight away. I have such a hard time with even attempting to do that. Glad your family stepped up to help you. Good to feel supported.

Hope you have a great weekend!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Mar 21, 2021 6:32 pm

Thanks Linda!! Taking it easier seems to be helping & it’s starting to feel better!! Me too on having a hard time with not using food!! Advice like “take a bath, journal, yada yada yada, never helped me much, the food was easy, the rest all sounded like work :lol:

I was hoping to do better than I did yesterday when we were up visiting my son, but looking back am actually pretty proud of a day with more where I didn’t throw in the towel. When we went to Disney World I had an attitude of “taking a break from trying at all” & it felt terrible. Yesterday I had extra, eating out at both lunch & dinner, but didn’t overdo it so I consider that a win!! I had hoped to eat only 1/2 my huge sandwich but had the whole thing (could have skipped 1/4 though, thats when it started to lose its taste) and hoped to skip chips & salsa & only eat 1/2 my burrito & not have an extra drink, but I had a few chips & salsa (without too many which was a win) and 3/4 my burrito (stopped when it was losing its taste) and they invited us in for a nightcap & had an extra drink (but didn’t have a second with everyone else). Overall pretty decent for going to 2 of my favorite restaurants & hanging with friends!!

I don’t think we all have as much control over what we weigh as we like but do feel that if we’re constantly pushing the limits of full over time, our weight will creep up & that it’s much harder to go back down, especially since we’d have to break the habits that lead us to push the limits of enough & old habits die hard!! I’ve always made the mistake of going too big so I’m really working on very small tweaks, especially weekend/vacation/emotional eating. There’s not much to improve on for me with “normal” days, but practicing having extra without “throwing in the towel” I think could have a small impact over time. Mostly I just want to feel good & extra without putting myself in a food coma :lol:

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by ladybird30 » Mon Mar 22, 2021 2:24 am

Small victories are good
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by oolala53 » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:45 am

That is so touching How lucky you are!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Mar 28, 2021 3:39 pm

It was my kids Spring Break last week. We didn’t do much, stayed home for a lot of it, and came to the cabin for the end. It really hasn’t felt that much different from normal to me since my kids have been doing online school & are mostly home anyway. The cabin has been fun though!! My back is so much better but I’m not skiing yet because I don’t want to take the chance of re-injuring it. We watched Mrs Doubtfire one day while I worked which was nice!! We used to watch a lot of movies while I worked when my kids were little & it always feels kind of cozy!!

This weekend I noticed the urge to eat lingering when I wasn’t hungry one afternoon & decided to do something different & sat on the couch with a book. I absolutely love to read but rarely allow myself to do it. I always feel I should be working, cleaning, or spending quality time with my family & not “wasting time”. No wonder I use food as entertainment, it’s the only thing I allow myself to do to relax!! It totally squashed the urge to eat & put me in such a better mood. The funny thing is that I have so much mom guilt for taking “me time” but am happier & a better mom when I do!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Mar 29, 2021 4:48 am

I can remember when my kids were smaller, I noticed the only time i allowed myself a break was to eat so when i was tired i would eat instead of just being honest about what i needed. I think a lack of boundaries has been a big reason why i overeat although it’s gotten much better.

Glad you had a nice time at your cabin !
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Apr 01, 2021 4:35 pm

Hi Jen! Glad you enjoyed Spring break! Im also glad you were able to take some me time and read a book! Sounds like some really good self-care. I have noticed especially as moms because eating is like a NEED, that sometimes when we need to take care of ourselves we eat even if we aren't hungry because it feels like a more ok thing to do since eating is a need and not a want, where as reading a book is seen as more of a want(even though it actually IS a need!) This is what I have noticed for myself anyway.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Apr 02, 2021 5:30 pm

Pink/Linda, I think I still do the same thing now that my kids are older, where it’s one of my only guilt free breaks! And anything else does seem like a want & not a need. I think I have a lot of guilt for working & exercising & feel my free time should be spent enjoying & taking care of my family & being a good mom & wife.Sounds crazy when I type it but can hear “a good mom packs amazing lunches” “a good mom makes a good breakfast for her kids every morning” “a good mom enjoys quality time with her kids” in my head & don't feel I do enough of those things to deserve a break :roll:

Eating wise things have finally seemed to land where I want them to with No S. I’m not expecting perfection, accepting hard days, and overall being really mindful!!

A few things I’ve worked on lately has been no snacking which had been creeping into my evening meal & ruining my dinner. I’ve realized how much better I feel being a little extra hungry & enjoying dinner more but also working to eat a little earlier so I’m not getting too hungry!!

Being more mindful of urges & also responding with relaxing & reading instead of food had been a huge win for me. When I quit resisting/white knuckling so much I could see what happens when I give in & what happens when I don’t & it’s made giving in less appealing & also made me realize that reading actually works better.

My current goal is being a little more mindful of stopping at enough (no seconds) at dinner. I like waking up hungrier & feel less sleepy/lethargic at night when I stop at enough.

No S is the perfect framework for me with my tweaks. It’s enough boundaries & structure without feeling restrictive & helps me be more mindful!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Apr 02, 2021 7:46 pm

And I agree it’s so quite here lately ): I miss having new posts to read!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Apr 07, 2021 12:13 pm

It’s so hard not to get caught up in a quest to be a perfect parent. There’s a lot of pressure on moms specifically i think to get parenting right. Plus we love our kids and want them to be happy but i like to remember that we just have to be good enough, not perfect. If all of our kids needs are met, it’s actually a disservice to them in a way because it prepares them for the reality of real life. Here’s a great article i found that kind of helped me let go of some os the mommy guilt: https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2 ... ugh-mother

Awesome though that your finding such a satisfying approach to your eating. That must feel really food!
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:00 pm

A lot of good stuff in your latest post Jen and that's a great article Linda!

I just had to comment on the white knuckling because its so true for me as well! Giving up the white knuckling is key!But its so hard because in my head at least, white knuckling is associated with control and I don't want to lose it when it comes to eating. But ultimately, white knuckling makes losing control more likely to happen since we aren't meeting our true needs when do it. Its such a delicate dance and it sounds like you are doing so well with it!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Apr 09, 2021 5:25 pm

I loved that article Linda!! It’s funny because deep down I believe that my kids are better off with me being a “good enough” mom & would see friends & acquaintances who were “perfect” moms, making perfect breakfast, lunches, snacks, & dinners, planning adventurous outings daily, doing fancy crafts, baking amazing treats. Most of the times the kids seemed worse off for it. Unable to entertain themselves, bratty when they didn’t get their own way, and overall a lot of times seemed to think the world revolved around them.

I was waking up in the morning NOT AT ALL feeling like working out so I have been working on less exercise. I was doing 30 minutes elliptical along with a lot of walking & weights. I cut out my afternoon 20 minute treadmill walk & because I usually write these posts when I’m doing that so it’s meant I haven’t been writing as much. I miss posting so I’m going to try & make time to write a little more. I still read but responding & writing were always done on the treadmill.

Less exercise has been really good for me & the weird thing is I’m hungrier but also feel like my clothes are fitting looser. Almost like my metabolism was being slowed down from the stress of too much exercise. I now have a glass ceiling on exercise to go with my glass ceiling on drinks 😂

My favorite Instagram account is hooper.fitness & her “plan” is so similar to what I do with the 3 meals hunger based eating & including all foods. I’ve been motivated to wait for hunger after listening to her & it’s helped me with not snacking/grazing before dinner. I think IE had me feeling like I was being restrictive when I didn’t jump on the first twinge of hunger. With letting hunger build a little I’m enjoying meals more & notice it’s a lot easier to wait for hunger as I get used to it. At first I really struggled with waiting but the more I practice the habit, the easier it’s getting!!

I’m also really working on adding in more rest!! I can tell a huge difference in how happy I am, how my relationship with food is, and how I’m a better, more patient mom when I take the pressure off myself & put rest as a priority instead of “when I have time” which is never. When meals/food is the only time I allow myself to rest, it leads to wanting food when I’m not hungry & really just want more “time off” in a day!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Apr 10, 2021 4:59 am

I probably should have said that im the worst with guilt. I do way too much for my girls and im sure theyll suffer for it later but hey theyre are worse things right? Today i was running late to pick up rosebud and had to remind myself that it was okay. She will learn patience and to handle disappointments. I worry too much yet i know I’ve missed plenty of important stuff. Such is the nature of parenting. Anyway, you already know all this i know. We have to not be so hard on ourselves but we also have to not be too hard on ourselves for being hard on ourselves if that makes sense.

Yay for resting though! Too much stress can mess with our weight gainig hormones right? And i think too much exercise can be a stress so that makes sense. I took this week off not entirely on purpose but it felt good and i know ill feel refreshed and ready to start again next week.

You’re doing great! 💜
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Apr 10, 2021 7:52 pm

I have read about how too much stress, even good stress like exercise can lead to too much cortisol and therefore mess with our weight. It sounds like you are doing a good thing for you making a ceiling for exercise. Im so glad you have been able to listen to your body and start giving yourself more rest. I think it is something a lot of don't realize how important it is really is for our health.

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Fri Apr 16, 2021 2:35 pm

Sometimes taking a break from our regular exercise routine is exactly what our body needs. We're "seasonal" organisms, ya know? :-)
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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Apr 20, 2021 9:04 pm

I have not had much to say lately & haven’t posted much at all. My eating has really gotten very routine which has been good!! I have my moments of pushing the level of full, but really not any huge regrets lately! I would like to increase fruits & veggies, but it’s hard because my appetite just isn’t big enough without giving up something else. On days where I do get hungrier I add a blueberry smoothie or spinach salad. I’ve been loving Avocado Toast for lunch so at least I get avocado!! I really would like for my spinach salad & blueberry smoothie to be everyday things! I even wondered this weekend if I should just force the “extra” because I think as people get older they actually look younger being less thin, but the problem is that I’ll just end up not hungry enough to enjoy meals & I hate that!! Plus I have more energy not pushing the limits of enough!!

We had the shower for my cousins wedding last weekend which was fun. I got the dress & it won’t be something I want to wear again :lol: Even my 15 year old daughter said it’s not flattering. She said you’d have to remove your uterus to look good in it :lol: I was putting pressure on myself to be “healthier” for it. My cousin has all these colors (silver for rehearsal dinner, blush for brunch, green for the shower). Trying to find dresses I like is hard enough but in colors it was horrible. I kept trying on things that just weren’t flattering & made me feel like I needed to lose weight. My daughter never does that, she blames the dress, not her body! I finally found a store that was practically made for me. I’ve never had the flattest stomach so I need something tight on top that loosens at the waist & they had a million dresses that worked. I found all things I love on the body I currently have :D And for the bridesmaid dress I ordered big & am hopping a seamstress can help & than ordered Spanx. I’ve never been a Spanx person, just no interest in being uncomfortable all night to wear a dress that needs it, but seeing as I have no choice I’m just going with it!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Apr 21, 2021 5:10 pm

She said you’d have to remove your uterus to look good in it
LOL! That is great! I love how your daughter blames the dress and not the body. I was actually thinking of that the other day, and how women seem to be trained to blame our bodies and not the clothes, where as when I watch my husband try on clothes, if it doesn't fit or isn't flattering, he doesn't bemoan his body, he just talks about how the cut doesn't work for him and looks for something else with no body blame.

I love the idea of blueberry smoothies or spinach salads. I know what you mean about how its hard to cram veggies in sometimes.

Glad to hear you are doing so well! And glad you found a great dress that looks good and you feel good in and figured out a strategy for the bridesmaid dress!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Apr 22, 2021 7:22 pm

Pink Same with my husband too!! And their clothes aren’t really built to be not be flattering like a lot of women’s clothes :lol:

My son moved home from school & it’s been so much fun having him back!! I love that we got used to life without him & now it feels great to have him back!!

I’m amazed at how normal my relationship with food has felt lately!! Clothes are fitting good & it feels like I’ve hit a good stride. I wonder if cutting back on exercise helped. Like I only have so much willpower & wasn’t aware that it was being used up with too much exercise, making it harder when I needed it for other things, like times when I was tempted to eat between meals when I wasn’t hungry.

I recently dropped push ups from my workout. I have always hated them & finally realized forcing myself to do them isn’t necessary. The more I do stuff I hate, the more I look for rewards or breaks & as an adult rewards usually look like extra food or extra drinks. Instead I’m working to make my life not feel like something I need a reward for getting through & that’s meant taking some pressure off.

I have noticed though that it feels better to accomplish my “top 3” everyday and that in that area, action tends to come before motivation, but procrastinating those things leads to stress which doesn’t create the best life!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Apr 23, 2021 3:23 pm

I really think you could be on to something with the willpower that it takes to exercise using up some of the willpower on food choices. That really resonates with me, and it sounds like it has really helped you! Also great to take away things you really hate. There is no reason to do things we hate in the quest to be healthy. That is a great discovery and Im glad things are going so well for you!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Apr 24, 2021 2:04 pm

Thanks Pink, it feels nice to be in a good phase :D

My husband is going on a fishing trip with his college friends so I decided to take my kids on a quick trip to California. We have so many travel points & with my kids all in high school/college I want to take advantage of the time while they are still “mine”. Plus I always feel a little annoyed when I’m home doing all the work while my husband is on a fishing trip, not really proud of that fact, but this has made it so there’s no low key resentfulness going on because I love that he gets to spend time with his friends & I don’t want my crappy attitude to ruin that for him!!

I’m looking forward to seeing how I do away from normal. It’s the one skill I’ve always wanted, to be able to eat in a way that feels good on vacation but still enjoy the extra!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:56 pm

I totally relate to that feeling of resentfulness while your husband is out doing something "fun" leaving you to do the work. Its different but similar feelings when my husband leaves for the day to go mountain biking with his friends. Great idea to do a trip with your kids! I hope you guys had fun!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Apr 27, 2021 10:06 pm

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way Pink!!

The trip was so much fun!! There’s something about hanging with my kids without my husband that is a little different. It’s like I connect more with just them because we don’t branch into adult/kid conversation. We all have good conversations together but also have times where we seem to fall into separate conversations & it was nice to just focus on my kids!! Plus it felt nice to have to do it all, car rental, navigating, checking in. I’ve watched my mom become too dependent on my dad where she can’t do things on her own anymore & I always feel like it’s good to practice being able to take care of myself!!

I was pretty happy with food choices!! Early in in the trip I recognized I was trying to set the bar too high & lowered my expectations & that went so much better!! Instead of hoping to not push the limits of enough at all I accepted that part of enjoying travel was eating what I wanted & also letting myself have a little more than I needed. When I quit aiming for perfect I did a really great job of good enough!!

I was listening to a podcast while I walked on the beach path before my kids woke up that talked about if it wasn’t a “hell yes” than it was a “no” & I’m going to remind myself of that!! I did better this trip but there were a few times I caught myself eating extra because I could & not enjoying it as much as I wanted. I’d rather love the things I really want & skip the things that are just okay!!

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Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by automatedeating » Wed Apr 28, 2021 5:54 pm

My husband and I both love the occasional trips with just us and kids. There's no question that I am more focused on my kids in those situations. Rather than trying to divy up responsibilities, I just embrace that it's all on me, so I might as well enjoy myself. :-)

I love that you are on that trip!
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

Jen1974
Posts: 637
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:49 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Apr 29, 2021 2:36 pm

We made it home from our trip on Tuesday. It was such a fun trip!! I’m really glad we did it!! It always feels nice to get home & caught back up though.

I’m really happy with my relationship with food. In the perfect world I would have eaten slightly smaller meals a few times on the trip but perfect isn’t realistic & accepting that meant I nailed it at “good enough”.

Cutting out things I dread (push-ups, too much elliptical) has made a big difference. I’m not feeling I deserve a reward because I’m not trying too hard.

“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no” has helped too. It helps me make choices that feel good in a way that’s more motivating because it’s about getting more pleasure in life, not avoiding foods I love to weigh less. But at the same time not having things just to have them that does lead to weighing more.

pinkhippie
Posts: 1072
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Apr 30, 2021 3:42 pm

Glad you had a good trip! And that is so great to hear how happy you are with your relationship with food! Honestly, how rarely do we hear that? That is a huge accomplishment!

it's great that you figured out that cutting out things you dread made such a difference. I think I have done the same thing, the problem is I seem to dread all exercise.. :D

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4733
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: Jen’s Eating Simplified (:

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Apr 30, 2021 7:21 pm

So glad you had such a fun trip with your kids. Since DH works so much, I spend a lot of time with the girls but never looked at as a good way of staying independent. It’s great you’re continuing to get closer to finding that balance between too much and not enough. I definitely refuse to do exercise I dread. I try to go with my mood. Sometimes I’m up for something intense but other times I don’t want to do more than a moderately paced walk. It’s all good!
SW: 210 lbs
CW: 166 lbs
GW:131 lbs



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