RJ's Daily Check-In

[RJ]

I'll make today my first daily check in on this thread, while noting that I started on Jan. 5, and have had success my first three days on the program.

Today was also a success! (I think...)

Breakfast was coffee with cream and a green smoothie, the equivalent of 4 cups of spinach, 4 oz of strawberries and half a banana. I like green smoothies for breakfast, not because I'm a raw foods enthusiast, but just because when I heard of them, they seemed like an efficient way to quickly get several servings of fruits/veggies in. Breakfast is my "meh" meal of the day anyway, most days I can take or leave it, so it's an easy one to just plug a smoothie into. I don't do it every day, but I can say (having been doing it for several months), that they do make me feel more solidly "well", if that makes sense.

Lunch: a cup of full fat greek yogurt (yummm) with a splash of vanilla and one packet of splenda.

Dinner: I realized at dinnertime tonight that I had "snitched" 4 or 5 curly fries off of the sheet tray after they had come out of the oven - without even being mindful that I had done it. So, I just left that part of my plate empty, and put chicken and veggies on the other 2/3. Does that still count as success? I'm not sure, but I think so. And it was a reminder that I need to be far more mindful than I currently am.

[mrsj]

Hi, RJ! Glad to see you here.
I would think of yesterday as a success. The important thing is that you caught yourself and stopped before the tray of fries was half eaten!
It takes time to build a new habit and even longer time to get rid of a habit. Especially mindless eating!

Congratulations on your Green Days!

[RJ]

Well, my S days over the weekend were... interesting. I stayed within parameters, I did not go hog wild and eat my way through the days, but.

I just didn't like the way I was feeling about it all. And I still didn't make the best choices.

On Saturday, my boys threw some Tyson Chicken Strips in the oven for dinner while my husband and I were out running errands. I got home and they had saved some for us, so I tossed 3 on my plate, squirted some ranch dressing on 'em, and ate them.

Even though I wasn't hungry.
Even though they didn't taste good.
And I "cleaned my plate", because once I'd started, it was hard to stop.

Yuk.

Both days, the timing of meals was just all off. Didn't eat breakfast until 10. Didn't get hungry again until something like 3:30. Snacked a little then ate dinner at odd hours. And I just had that uneasy "you're not really in control here" feeling that's gotten me to the point of needing to lose 80 pounds in the first place.

So, yeah, I did fine, technically. But I am very happy to be back to N-day eating today, I feel so much more comfortable with those boundaries. And I know for next weekend to, at the very least, try to keep my mealtimes at roughly my normal hours. I will just be happier.

ed: forgot to add that I walked on the treadmill 3 times last week (yeah, I know, Urban Ranging, yadda yadda. It's freaking cold outside. I'll talk about Urban Ranger in like, April.)

[RJ]

Yesterday was a green day, although I'm really tired and can't remember at the moment what it was I ate. I wrote it down in a journal (a REAL journal, with pages and everything! How charmingly archaic!) though, so it's there and I'm not mentally fooling myself.

I'm not sure what to think about today. On the surface, I stuck to an N day, and it doesn't look bad:

a couple of eggs and cup of coffee for breakfast
half sandwich, bowl of soup and two cups of coffee for lunch
3 handfuls of peanuts for dinner

But it just didn't -feel- right. I think I still am not getting the hunger/fullness thing down, and it's bothering me.

Everything I had to eat today was heavy. Two whole eggs, whisked with a tablespoon of cream, scrambled in a teaspoon of bacon grease. (mmm...)

Half a Frontega Chicken Panini at Panera, and a bowl of Broccoli Cheddar soup. Two large coffees, with liberal amounts of cream.

After that, I sort of thought to myself I'd better tone it down for the rest of the day, and I wasn't hungry at the family's dinner time. When I got hungry later (my dinner?), I just grabbed some peanuts and ate them. No plate - but is this where "virtual plating" comes in?

It's bedtime, and I'm hungry again now. That's not bad, though; I'd rather go to bed a little hungry, and know that I'll be ready for breakfast tomorrow. Kind of like hitting the reset button.

I don't *want* to eat "lighter". I hate lowfat products, especially dairy. And it's winter, and it's so freaking cold outside, and lighter food just sounds so unsatisfying. But last week I was doing a better job of eating just enough that I got hungry again by the next meal, and not feeling like I was overdoing my portion sizes or becoming a charter member of the Saturated Fat Diet Club.

I just want to have a green day that I feel really good about. Bleah.

[RJ]

I feel like I've gotten off to a bit of a shaky start with No-S; mainly because I've been "eating intuitively" and trying No-S off and on for about a year now, and I'm anxious for stuff to start to stick, and the weight to come off. Add to that anxiety the fact that we are taking a big vacation that will involve a lot of hiking and walking in less than 4 months. I really, REALLY don't want to be an out of shape superhippo for this trip. Gah.

So, I jumped in expecting to be able to just... I dunno. Be at step 3, or something. And instead I am overportioning and generally acting like I just stepped off the diet train and am in candyland. wth??

So, okay, fine. FINE. I will be at step 1. Three plates a day. Doesn't matter how much is on the plate, within reason. No sweets. No snacks. No seconds. Taking small tastes during dinner prep doesn't count, but eating an entire pre-dinner worth of tastes DOES. I will try very hard to rest in the fact that I am -here-. I will try to trust that I will not be -here- indefinitely, and not be so impatient to move on to -there-.

I am really tempted to not take those S-days, but I know that will backfire on me in the end, so, I am *making* myself take my S's this weekend. I am thinking about a slice of chocolate cheesecake at Starbucks. I am deciding whether or not I want to bake. If you had told me a year ago that it would take a serious determination of will for me to force myself to have a piece of chocolate cheesecake, I would have asked you what you were smoking. So, I guess that's a perverse sort of progress.

It was a crummy week for exercise. I have been tired, it is January, I don't feel like it, I'd rather stay curled up in bed for those extra 45 minutes. I am going to work on this for next week, because that will go a long way toward mitigating the extra weight when it comes to activity and endurance level on vacation. Intellectually I know this, but don't try to make that argument at 6:30am, thankyouverymuch.

<deep breath> This will all be okay.

[mrsj]

RJ, you're doing great! Don't worry about how much is on your plate at each meal. Believe me, your portions DO get smaller. It happens gradually and you don't even notice it until you can actually see some of your plate between the different kinds of food. Or that you can actually cut your meat without anything else falling off the plate. It WILL happen!

As for excersize, check out the Urban Ranger thread. There's a 21 Day Club for Urban Rangeing too. And a wannabe club thanks to renew.

Have you considered getting a dog? Great incentive to get off my fanny and Urban Range!

Congrats on your Green days, and Happy Shrinking!

[Jammin' Jan]

Hi RJ,

Sounds to me like you're on a great No-S learning curve. Just keep going. It takes a while to figure out what 'feels good' on the plate.

[RJ]

mrsj and jammin' - thanks so much for your encouragement. It means a lot, even though I haven't had much of a chance to get on the computer and say so this past week!

I know about Urban Ranging, but at the moment I'm too much of a wimp to brave the cold, and all the icy, unshoveled sidewalks. I'll stick to my treadmill until springtime!

I'm still hanging in here, not doing as well as I think I should be doing, but just giving myself some grace for the time being that I'm doing "well enough".

I was visiting with a friend on Tuesday afternoon, and she is so sweet and was trying to be gracious, and came out of the kitchen with a brownie already on a plate, and handed it to me. Sigh. Had I said, "oh, thank you but I can't...", or some variation thereof, it would have made her embarrassed and mortified, and that to me was worse than just graciously eating the brownie. I counted it as a green day anyhow, and I'm trying to figure out how to bring up my eating plan before the next time I go over there.

Otherwise, working on being mindful, working on -actually- putting things on plates rather than just thinking, "oh, this would be about a plateful of x...", stuff like that.

And hopefully I'll have more time to check in daily, because it really helps!