Sinnie's Retake 2011

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:38 pm

I know this is a few days early, but I don't want to fall into the "I'll re-start on Monday trap" of diet mindsets.

I want to make this next year dedicated to really good habits and discipline. I've done OK in regards to three meals, but often find I don't want the meal to end, so I eat more or have dessert to avoid being done. I want to believe in myself enough to know I AM capable of being a disciplined person and accomplishing what I set out to. When I read that people do No S perfectly day in and day out, I see that it's possible with some willpower, and I want to be one of those people.

So today is boxing day. Even though it's an S day, I don't want to go crazy overeating. I'm still aiming for three meals, perhaps with some leftover Christmas desserts

I haven't decided on how often I will weigh in. I don't exactly have a goal in
mind but 110 has always been my dream. This morning I was 121 which means I really didn't change much over the holidays.

My other goal for 2011 is to become more informed about the world, current affairs, politics etc. It's been on my list forever but I've never actually done anything about it. I have a very vague idea of what's going on in the world around me but feel ignorant/uninformed and it's always bothered me. I don't exactly know how to accomplish this, but I guess I can start by reading more.

For No S today:

Breakfast:
1 egg, some cheese, slice toast, 1/2 banana (kind of virtual plated this)

Lunch:
Fish soup, ciabatta broiled with oliveoil, smoked salmon/tuna, pomegranate seeds, piece of walnut bread (sweet) and piece of cake, some apple juice

Dinner:
leftovers from Christmas (kept to one plate!)

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:37 pm

Day 2: Success

Yesterday was good. For brekkie I had toast, walnut bread and an apple. Lunch was fish soup, and 2 slices of cheese pizza. Dinner was salmon, rice, salad (with an appetizer of calamari).

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Dec 28, 2010 7:08 pm

Day 3:

Breakfast was coffee and a thick slice of walnut rolled bread. I'm not sure whether this is a sweet, it's not predominantly sugar, I barely ever have it but since my mom gave us a loaf I want to enjoy it. I don't want to overthink the rules.

Lunch was at a kid's birthday party. It was a stand around kind of deal, so I had cheese, crackers, some salami, small piece of lasagna, few veggies/fruit. No booze, no cake - I did very well!

Dinner will be a sausage, peppers and pasta? Not too sure exactly...

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:16 pm

Yesterday went perfectly. Dinner was what I said above, plus salad. Oh, and I often have a glass of wine with dinner.

I'm very happy with my progress in the past few days. I haven't had access to a scale at my boyfriend's place where I've spent the past few days, but tomorrow morning I think I'll weigh in. Not too sure what type of pattern I want to establish, if any, with weighinig. I read that some people make charts and whatnot to graph trends which sounds interesting too...

Anyways, I'm looking forward to another day on track. Day 4 today. I'm meeting a friend out for lunch at a thai place, and I assume I'll only eat half of that calorie loaded plate!!! We'll see what fills me up. I do think my meals have been too much food though.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:44 pm

May I ask how tall you are? Your starting weight is exactly the same as mine, and so is your goal weight

Funny.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:37 pm

I am 5'2! (maybe slightly above, but barely). Totally funny about our stats

When reading over your meals in your thread, I was thinking to try to duplicate yours to some degree as it gives me an idea of what someone our height needs in order to get down to the weight I want!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:56 pm

OMG so am I!

Diet buddies?

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:04 pm

I'm 5'2 and that's my goal as well! I'm about 130 right now and I know this is going to be slow but sane.

I keep a journal of the calories at each meal. Do you know roughly what your calories are for each day?

BTW it sounds like you're doing well! I'm on Day 3 myself and I'm liking it. I am wanting something to eat right now (something after my meal I had an hour ago) but I know I only have 4 hours to go until dinner!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:16 pm

I'd certainly love a diet buddy Katie!!! Not many people around here with the exact same height and desired goal weight!

Hi gettheweightoff! Congrats on the first few days, and it's really getting easier, don't you find?! As for calories, I'm really not too sure. I used to count calories but it never worked for me. A few times I attempted to count in conjunction with No S but it failed miserably. I did a lot better by just sticking to three meals. I found simply not snacking, without any of the other rules, made the MOST difference for me.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:30 pm

Day 4:

Only had coffee for breakfast as I wasn't hungry when I woke up, and then had to rush out to do some errands before lunch.

Lunch was out at a thai place. I got this curry dish with rice. It wasn't that good. But it also wasn't that big, so I ate all of it.

Dinner is pasta, meatballs and frozen veggies (corn, carrots, peas).

Another successful day! So happy. Will weigh in tomorrow morning.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:46 pm

Day 5!

I weighed in this morning and am 119 lbs. I am happy to be back in the "teens".

Breakfast, which I am currently eating right now, is 1.5 slices of whole grain toast with peanut butter (and coffee).

For lunch I am meeting my boyfriend and he wants to take me out for wings & beer...we never really eat that stuff but he says this place has the best wings.

Dinner....who knows?

Tomorrow will be an S day as it is New Years Eve. I am hoping my good habits from the past few days will spill over and I won't go crazy. We are not doing any big celebrations this year or party at the house. We're just going to make a great dinner, have some great wine and enjoy. The menu is looking like this:

Appetizer - lobster cakes (I make them)

Dinner - fresh bread (I am going to attempt this), filet mignon, wild mushroom risotto (one of our fav recipes), salad

Dessert - not sure yet

****Updating Day 5: Success
Lunch was the wings, carrots&celery, one light beer, and coffee (said no to dessert!)

I'm throwing a wedding shower for my sister and we're looking at specialty cookies as the thank you gift for the guests. Anways, this fantastic new little shop does them, all organic, etc etc. As the owner is explaining it all, she opens the pretty wrap off one in a basket in the store and hands it to us to take a taste. I took a small piece and truly feel it would have been so very odd if I didn't. Not counting it as a failure - it was so small, not even very sweet, and i didn't use it as an excuse to take more despite the rest of the cookie was left.

I wasn't hungry and didn't eat dinner until 7:30pm, still wasn't very hungry. It was stuffed pork, bok choy, cabbage and potatoes. There was some issues tonight in my family, everyone was irritated, getting mad at each other...I'm upset by it....I want nothing more than to dive head first into chocolate (which I've got plenty of in the cupboard - cookies, chocolate, you name it). I just want to crunch, crunch, crunch the stress away....But I'm NOT going to.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Dec 31, 2010 12:35 pm

Day 6: S Day

This morning I weighed in at 117.5 lbs. I'm sure the weekend will spoil that number. I'm hoping to keep things fairly N until dinner.

Hmmm just had...breakfast? I got chocolates for Christmas and hadn't tried any yet so I had a little bit, and one cookie.

Lunch - 2 eggs, toast, frozen corn/pea/carrot mixture, spoon peanut butter

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:10 pm

Day 8

Well, New Years Eve was AWESOME - I got engaged!

Totally blew me away, I was not expecting it in the least until well into the new year. Very happy.

On the food front, I've done surprisingly well. All the excitement of being engaged has really dampened my appetite, though. I went pretty overboard new years eve, lots of food, big piece of red velvet cake. New Years Day we had people over, celebrating the New Year and our engagement. I didn't eat too much. Definitely no overeating

Today is the last day of Christmas vacation before getting back to work. A little sad about that but such is life. Can't always be fun. A lot to look forward to though...

I weighed in this morning after brekkie and was 117 so all is a GREAT start to 2011.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year. Cheers!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:34 pm

Wow, Diet Buddy, that's great! Congratulations!

LoriLifts · Post by **LoriLifts** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 8:06 pm

Congratulations!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:07 pm

Thank you both so much!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:43 pm

Let's see...yesterday was some toast and walnut roll for breakfast. Lunch was a crepe with berries, cookie, and an orange. Dinner was pizza, soup and Oreo ice cream, and piece of walnut bread. I picked a little bit but nothing extreme.

Day 9: 117

B: toast with peanut butter, apple and coffee

L: beef, perogies, mushroom strudel and green beans

D: ???

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 1:01 pm

Yesterday was a bit of a screw up because I had some bread while preparing dinner, and picked a bit afterwards. I am going to be more conscious of that because once I start doing well, I become too lax. It always happens. Must be STRICT!

B: 1/2 pita with pb and J; coffee; slice walnut roll

L: Garlic & cheese bread, few pieces of sliced mozzarella, red pepper, apple and finished the pita with pb & j

D: barley soup, few meatballs, mashed potatoes and salad.
I had 2 pieces of walnut roll bread soon after dinner. That's a failure. I hate this - I did so well when I was off work, but am struggling since getting back.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:30 pm

Sorry to hear you had a failure yesterday... but everyone has those once in a while, especially in the beginning; you'll work it out.

Speaking of strictness, have you checked out Reinhard's podcast # 13 yet? http://everydaysystems.com/podcast/episode.php?id=13

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:44 pm

I have heard that one and I love it! Thanks for bringing it back to my attention, I need to hear it again.

I'm embarassed to say I ate even more last night. It's like the initial failure made me lose motivation and I gave up. Weight is up to 118.5 today. I don't want to let that happen again.

Breakfast was an apple and flavoured cottage cheese (peach)

Lunch is barley soup, crackers, cottage cheese (pineapple), apple

Dinner is sausage on a bun, baked fries, veggies and dip

Back on track, I hope...

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:27 pm

With yesterday success under my belt, I'm feeling much more optimistic. 118.

B: slice bread, deli meat, banana
L: barley soup, 1/2 sausage on bun, cottage cheese, pear
D:....

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:00 pm

I don't know why I just did it. I was feeling bored and antsy and there is lots of candy in the office. It started with 2 gumballs and that turned into 2 candies and 3 small chocolates.

At least I'm going to pilates soon.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:36 pm

Aww, Sinnie, it's alright. At least you didn't start bingeing ("There's a small dent in the car, so I might as well drive it over the cliff.") - your failure was moderate. That's pretty good, considering No S is all about moderation

Just mark it and move on.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:38 pm

Thanks Katie, you're right, mark it and move on. Although up ANOTHER pound, 119 today. Ehhhh.

Last night for dinner I had leftover baked fries, a couple meatballs, bit of mashed potatoes and a yogurt. It wasn't that much, I guess the candy really does make a difference in weight

B: toast with pb and j

EDIT: I'm feeling so unmotivated. I don't understand why it was effortless while off work, but now I'm struggling big time. I've gained weight and don't like it.

Lunch will be leftover baked fries, a sausage and an orange.

I don't know about dinner tonight. Some form of leftovers, although I feel like pasta. My friends are coming over tonight to celebrate my engagement, so that will inevitably involve wine and munchies. I'll consider it an S event, but stay moderate.

I made it to lunch but felt sooo hungry. I also ate brekkie earlier at 6:30am so maybe that had something to do with it.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:45 pm

Update for Friday afternoon:

I came home and dove into the fridge. I'm not sure whether it's the Friday drive home from work that irritated me or a comment on the phone that left me annoyed...but I went to food even though I tried to remain calm and tell myself not to.

I had a few bites of cottage cheese, some peanut butter, then a slice of bread with peanut butter, some chocolate, crackers and then cheese. This was alll while I was waiting for water to boil. I then had some pasta with cheese.

Oh boy.

I should just give up now.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:25 pm

No, Cynthia, don't give up! Remember, you're doing this for yourself, to have a healthy relationship with food and a healthy weight again. Everyone has a couple of failures now and then, but if you mark it and move on, you can really make this a habit! And it'll be as natural as brushing your teeth in the morning in no time. Hold on. Stay strong. You can do this.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:31 pm

Anoulie is right. Just mark it and move on.

After awhile, it really does become natural, but you're working against some years of conditioning right now.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:31 pm

Thank you, I really do appreciate your efforts to help me stay on track. I was feeling so frustrated yesterday because I don't understand why it was so easy before on break, but why being back at work has caused such a disruption. It's like I'm hungrier, can't go long periods without eating and so on. However,I spend so much of the year working vs not working, so I need to find some resolution here if I ever want this to work.

Anyways. I ate stuff last night with my friends over, drank a bit, and of course I'm down a pound this morning to 118. I love how that works

It's the weekend but I'll try to keep it sane.

Thanks again Anoulie! Have a nice weekend:)

EDIT: Just saw your message, NoelFigart, and thank you for the encouragement. It goes a long way.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:52 pm

Update on yesterday:

B: toast with pb and j; orange

L: went to a Jamaican restaurant and ordered chicken roti (didn't finish)

...Before dinner we had a martini and pretzels (was supposed to be smoked salmon but it tasted off so we threw it out).
D: filet mignon, rice, cucumber salad

Dessert: I made chocolate mousse

Hopefully next week will be back on track. I will try my hardest!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 8:00 pm

Sunday

Breakfast was a slice of toast with pb and j

Lunch was a pita with canadian bacon and cucumber; some leftover chicken roti and chocolate pudding & few bites of a cookie

Snack was an apple

Dinner will be pasta, chicken and salad (with an appetizer of a martini and antipasto).

EDIT: Got quite hungry before we could start dinner so had a few handfuls of pretzels, and I did have a handful of cheerios while cooking. Also had a pudding after dinner.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 12:53 pm

I overate at dinner a bit yesterday, and felt really full. Uncomfortable all night and even this morning feel full (and very tired).

Today will be No S perfect.

B: bread with peanut butter and an apple (7:30am)

L: a subway roll with turkey and ham; apple (going to aim for 1pm...couldn't wait, ate at 11:45am)

D: TBD (probably around 5pm)

EDIT: Dinner did not go well. I had to eat when I got home (early, about 3:30pm) because I had to go back out soon after. I was ravenous -- why does that happen to me? It started off great, 2 slices of buttered toast, 2 small chicken legs, 2 pieces of fruit. But I was still sooo hungry so I had a spoonful of natural peanut butter. I felt like that was a failure, so I proceeded to have some rye bread with peanut butter/nutella, washing it down with milk. It's my usual problem -- I feel a bit of stress, don't want the meal to end to deal with the stress (however small) and so I keep eating. Mark it and move on? What else is there to do.

Oh, forgot to add I had a cookie as well.

Full disclosure is so important. I had some gummy bear candies tonight. As embarassing as that is to admit, hopefully having to tell people will make me think next time I am in "failure mode."

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:42 pm

Back up to 120.

Breakfast: bun with sliced deli "natural selections" chicken and tomato slices; apple

Lunch: I actually ended up getting a chocolate chip muffin and coffee. Extremely stressed this morning after getting into a fight with my fiance. Food isn't the answer, but somehow I make it into one.

Dinner: I am attempting to make that bread in the off topic section, and other leftovers...will update

Wow was the bread ever good! I will need to post on that thread. Had a sausage alongside. Diet coke too. An apple.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:47 pm

119.5

B: pita with peanut butter; apple; watered down OJ

L: sandwich with preservative free sliced chicken and veggie "salami" slices + apple + diet coke

D: I made fresh bread; fried rice with peas, garlic, shallots, soy sauce; chicken legs; cucumber & tomato salad

Can I venture to say a successful day finally?

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:38 pm

Let's go for successful day #2!

B: coffee and slice toast with pb & j

L: leftover bread (big hunk of it), slices of cheese, apple, pomegranate seeds

D: TBD

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:08 pm

You're doing great, Cynthia!

sarah.grace · Post by **sarah.grace** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:36 pm

hooray for day #2! you can do it!
your lunch sounds delicious. LOVE homemade bread.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:55 pm

Aww thanks ladies!! The positive reinforcement really helps

Thanks!

Dinner is a garden salad with ranch dressing, oven fried potatoes with cheese, 1/2 sausage, small piece of bread and corn...and a diet pepsi

Let's hope I can make it the rest of the night without eating....

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:38 pm

I *think* I'm back on track. 118.5

I'm trying to focus on balancing meals and simplifying. I used to overeat a lot at dinner. Now, I just tell myself make sure you have a balance of a carb, protein and veggie/fruit - and that's all you get. It's helping me realize my portions better. I never used to stick with the one plate rule, but now I'm getting the purpose of it.

B: whole grain toast with peanut butter, apple (will have to virtual plate this) and watered down OJ.

L: Sandwich with sliced chicken/veggie salami & tomato slices; apple; watered down OJ

D: TBD

sarah.grace · Post by **sarah.grace** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 2:42 pm

your watered down OJ made me think of this: do you ever drink it hot? I recently started having it warm- half OJ, half H2O, with some cinnamon/cloves mixed it- it is similar to Russian tea if you've ever had that.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:32 pm

How interesting Sarah Grace! Do you put it in the microwave or boil it stove top?

sarah.grace · Post by **sarah.grace** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:52 pm

I go for the microwave for convenience, but I could see simmering it on the stovetop making the house smell amazing!

Also- I usually add in 1/2 tsp of powdered tea, or steep a tea bag in it. But it's good w/o the tea also.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:19 pm

Neat! I might just try that as I've just finished dinner but still feel quite peckish!

Dinner was bowtie pasta with mozzarella cheese broiled on top, 1/2 small hamburger, frozen veggies, a virgin caesar and an apple.

I really hope I can be good tonight. I have a bad feeling that I'm going to snack. If I feel this way it probably means I'm psychologically preparing myself to fail because I want a snack. I need to fight hard and resist this urge. I must use willpower and turn it into a habit.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 1:17 pm

I did terrible last night.

It started off great, I didn't have anything after dinner. Then I allowed myself some plain hot air popped popcorn as a treat. That just led to lots of snacking on different things. When I am home alone, a bit stressed with upcoming things to do, it's a trigger for me to eat.

119 this morning.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 3:27 pm

Re-start Day 1:

B: 2 eggs, pita thin pocket, bit of OJ and an apple (and coffee)

L: Don't know, but some portion of protein/carb/veg
EDIT: Well, lunch was not this but cinnamon buns. I had three. My mom made them, they were super fluffy and light and not sweet. But still

D: TBD...

We are going out to a cool place downtown so probably a couple drinks (usually a vodka martini to start and wine with dinner - and depending on whether he orders a bottle, it could be more than a glass). I'm guessing some appetizer, maybe oysters, and then the entree. I'm not big on dessert when out, usually too full and it holds no appeal.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:04 pm

How odd that we both fell off the wagon last night... diet buddies unite

We can do this. 21 days of SUCCESS, here we go!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:05 pm

Yes, Katie WE CAN DO THIS!!! (Or, at least, I know YOU can, I'm another story altogether

hehe).

Last night's dinner was amazing. We started with martini's, oysters, then got charcuterie (a platter with different cheeses and meats and olives and spreads mmm). Then I had ravioli which was stuffed with duck and squash, it was divine:)). We had a bottle of wine as well. It was sort of a late engagement celebration).

This morning we made waffles and bacon for brekkie. I had another waffle for lunch.. DInner is TDB...

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:51 pm

Yesterday's dinner was wings, rice, garlic bread and arugula salad with cranberries and walnuts.

I also made a dark chocolate cake (almost flourless) - of which I had two pieces! EDIT: And just to update now, I had a piece of toast with peanut butter after lunch....and then a chunk of french bread before dinner.

Today's breakfast is a piece of french bread, a chunk of marble cheese and an apple (and coffee with milk).

Lunch is a wrap with bacon, lettuce and tomato and an apple.

Dinner is a chickpea/veggie salad; rice; tandoori chicken legs; segadine goulash (no idea if I spelled that right, it's a dish made of pork and sauerkraut), a peach and for a drink juice mixed with water.

I definitely won't fail tonight. I tend to get a feeling about these things based on my mood. In any case, I may have a tea later but I WILL NOT SNACK!

EDIT: This is not a fail, but I should report. My sister's trial wedding cake arrived and she wanted my opinion. I had a couple small bites. A bit of milk too, but that's it. I kept to a very minor S event.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:31 pm

Yesterday was a SUCCESS.

119 this morning.

B: mexican pocket (my mom made it, dough stuffed with a chili and cheese of sorts), apple, watered down OJ

L: 1 tandoori chicken leg, rice, chickpea/veggie salad, apple

D: 1/2 sausage, small piece of pork w/ mushrooms, cauliflower, potatoes, bean salad, watered down juice...had blueberries for "dessert" then some Oreo ice cream...picked a bit as well...stopped myself before it turned into a full blown disaster. Decided I can screw up, and still stop myself and not make matters worse. I guess that's a step in the right direction. Making some specialty tea now.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:40 pm

Okay, so I went off the deep end last night and ate. 121. Back to where I started although it's probably just water weight. I think I need to stop focusing on weight. It fluctuates so much. It's not that I can't handle it, I do enjoy keeping track but it may be taking too much focus off of pure habit. Truthfully, I don't think I'll ever realistically move from around 120 for any length of time...it always comes back.

Breakfast was a pb and j sandwich but I only ate half (not hungry).
For lunch I had a pita with vegetarian salami, bean salad and leftover breakfast (other 1/2 sandwich and apple). I feel very full.
Dinner: I am making a coconut fish soup, not sure what else alongside.

amake616 · Post by **amake616** » Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:40 pm

I think you're doing pretty good! I've noticed the closer you are to "goal weight" whatever that "goal weight" might be, the longer it seems to take you to get there and since you aren't that very far pounds wise that might be a Murphy's Law situation you have to cope with. I love politics and world events and reading/studying about them so if you ever want to discuss your newfound knowledge let me know

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:53 pm

Hey amake616! Thank you so much for stopping by! I think you are right about the Murphy's law situation going on here...it's so tough because although I KNOW I want to be at a slimmer weight (even just a few pounds lower so I have some wiggle room) sometimes I just convince myself that my weight is fine as an excuse to eat something I shouldn't....like LAST NIGHT!

FAILURE: 2 pieces of dark chocolate cake from the weekend. I know this is the result of drinking a bit too much wine with dinner. Sometimes it lowers my inhibitions too much, and I find it soooo easy to give in and not care. Thank God my fiance knows the habit I'm trying to build and stops me before I go on a full binge.

Ehhh.

I haven't been so good on the politics/world events stuff...

I don't really know where to start...I skim the newspaper but still feel totally ignorant....I need to get on that.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:59 pm

Today will be a SUCCESS. I'm stating that upfront.

B: toast with peanut butter
L: 2 chicken legs, a pita, apple, watered down OJ
D: 2 cabbage rolls, rice and fruit salad

I am really proud of myself. There are lots of cookies that my mom made but I didn't and will not touch them. Any time today that I looked at candy and thought "mmm" I immediately told myself "nope, not allowed, forget it, figure something else out" and it worked.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:53 pm

Doing great, Cynthia! I know you can!

Concerning the politics stuff... whenever you read about something that seems important in the paper, or hear about it on the radio, or hear people talk about it at work, write that down and when you're home, use Google to look it up and learn more about it. There are always some issues that are important, and being talked about by everyone, and then nobody hears about them again (like the swine flu, or when Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed)... but it's always good if you seem well-informed

amake616 · Post by **amake616** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:24 pm

I second Anoulie's suggestion

Also, you don't have to know everything about everything you know? I can't tell you much about Far Eastern politics or how the economy works but I can discuss many Middle Eastern and African issues pretty knowledgeably. Try picking one narrow topic you would like to learn more about, something that catches your interest, and pay attention to it. Everything else falls in place. Your eating plan today looks pretty good though! And you're still trying which is half the battle goodness knows.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 4:57 pm

Thanks to both of you. I really like your suggestion Katie about paying attention to the main topics going on and then researching more into it. I am going to do that. Can I ask, is that how you do it? You are 17 (I teach the same age group roughly) but you seem soooo mature compared to them. I can tell you are incredibly intelligent.

Amake616, thanks for bringing up my goal for 2011 because now I am motivated to follow up on it! It makes me feel better that I shouldn't expec to know everythign about everything because that's not possible and is overwhelming. One topic and narrow it down. I'll start there

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:28 pm

That is how I wish I did it

I suppose I don't have the discipline required...

And thanks for the compliments

In case you're wondering, it's probably because a) German teeangers (or European teenagers in general) are a lot more mature than American ones because they have a lot more freedom and are more independent, b) I spent an exchange year in the US, all by myself, in 2008/2009, and that tends to make you a lot more mature/independent/self-confident than other people your age who just stayed in their country, and c) it's just the way I am

But concerning my "incredible intelligence"

- I have no idea where that comes from. LoL.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:54 pm

That makes a lot of sense, Katie. I can see it in my European relatives too. What an amazing experience to live across the world as a teenager, by yourself. No wonder you are mature! I am 10 years older than you and feel like you are my age haha

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:43 pm

Day 1 - Thursday January 20 - SUCCESS
Day 2 - Friday January 21 - EDIT: FAILURE

117.5 - although I'm thinking to stop weighing myself for awhile. I am in a different mind set now. No more playing around, I'm treating myself like a child who needs discipline.

Very stressed today. Not letting it get to me. If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the answer.

B: 2.5 slices of whole grain toast with pb/butter/little jam (on different pieces); small orange

L: fruit salad, few crackers and cheese, 1 cabbage roll, cookies (this is where I failed - let the stress get to me). They were all fresh, for my sister's wedding shower tomorrow. My mom wanted me to try and I caved.

D: Homemade pizza; green salad; peach; piece walnut bread

Considering I failed at lunch, I'm proud that didn't turn into permasnacking on cookies all day. There is even success in failure

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:14 am

Success in failure - that is so true. I know I can never stop eating once I've failed...

Also, I think it's a good idea not to weigh for a while, or at least not daily. I do it about once a week (on Saturday mornings).

How are your S days going?

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 23, 2011 1:15 pm

I think weekly weigh ins are a better idea too. Too many fluctuations otherwise.

My S days are more or less okay. I always feel like I go overboard but it's really not that bad. Yesterday was...

B: slice of homemade pizza, watered down OJ

Mid morning has some cookies/pastries before the wedding shower.

At the wedding shower I had champagne, then some appetizer of chickpea and octopus soup, wine, beef for the main course (w/ sides) and piece cake for dessert. I didn't really touch the sweet table much.

Dinner later on was small b/c I was full. DF made salmon, rapini and there was a loaf of fresh bread. I also split a cookie with him. Then just some cinnamon tea later.

Today so far...

B: toast with pb and J (2 slices but one was the end piece and really small) and an apple. I had a cookie on my plate but was truly so full after the toast and apple for some reason that I DIDN'T EVEN WANT THE COOKIE!!!

L: big chunk of white bread, salmon, cucumber/tomato salad, OJ, a cookie and slice chocolate cake

D: UPDATE: Big dinner - it was DF's daughter's birthday - veal steaks, pasta, brocoli, salad, garlic bread, wine and TWO pieces of cake (we bought and a friend brought over another).

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:52 pm

Breakfast was two small pieces of cheesey garlic bread and an apple.

Lunch was leftovers from yesterday's dinner and a diet gingerale.

Dinner is TBD. Edit: see post below.

Over43 · Post by **Over43** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:10 pm

No S helps deal with the left over question.

Good job.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:34 pm

Thanks over43! I love using up leftovers. And what a great way to save some $$$

I just had a gumball. Probably a fail but I'll call it borderline since i'm not actually swallowing anything. I almost had some candy but put it back and made a work phone call. Thought about it after and realized I don't want to go eat candy and am so glad I distracted myself for a minute.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 9:12 pm

Dinner is a leftover piece of homemade pizza (thin crust); few bites sausage on bread; salad; pear; little bit of vanilla yogurt & granola....AND leftover desserts

Oh brother. There is so much from the weekend. I just couldn't say no as I was still hungry. That kind of stuff just can't be around in such quantities as I went into "....don't want it all to go to waste..." mode.

EDIT: I need to seize this as an opportunity to practice a new skill I'm trying to develop. Even though from the onset, I shouldn't eat off the plan. However, it happens, that's life. Once it's occurred, I need to be at a place where it doesnt dictate the rest of the day. It's isolated. Wish it didn't happen but move on and forget about it. It does not give free reign to fail more because I've started.

I know just eliminating the binges over the past couple of year has resulted in the weight I'm at now. It's amazing how all the extra calories came from binging/perma snacking. Now that I'm at a lower weight, it's the fine tweaking that will bring me to goal.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:37 pm

Soooooo mad at myself. I went crazy eating crackers and cookies last night. No rhyme or reason as to the immense failure. I just don't get why I can't always be successful like so many others can. Am I THAT weak-willed? I have work to do.

B: coffee and whole grain blueberry muffin from Tim Horton's (didn't finish)

L: small banana & nectarine, baby carrots, few bites sausage and bread, 1 naan dipped in soy yogurt, few bites pasta, and 2 pieces birthday cake. Oops.

D: tandoori chicken legs, basmati rice, naan, meatball stew, salad

EDIT: Then had 2 pieces of a different chocolate cake. I also snacked on leftover naan.

amake616 · Post by **amake616** » Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:53 pm

Sucks when it's a fail but you did a great job of getting back on the wagon this morning. Which is the most important thing, because there will always be fails but you can't spend the rest of your life paying for them. Crackers and cookies probably have less calories than the pineapple upside down cake I ate too much of yesterday evening anyway! It was my first NWS day and I'm not entirely sure I like having three S days in a row. Maybe if you tried eating a little larger breakfasts/lunch you would have more willpower in the evening? I like breakfast but I'm usually too damn lazy to wanna make much in the morning and I've noticed that when I eat more in the morning I have more willpower later on.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:20 pm

Thanks for the comments, amake. I think it's just that since I messed up at dinner, even though I told myself to forget about it, psychologically I already "failed"....so it didn't mean much to me if I snacked a bit....which turned into way too much.

I don't even think it's that brekkie/lunch are too small....it's not that I'm hungry when I snack...it's purely mental...I just WANT IT! Unless I am really strict with myself, keep things black and white, I am prone to eating failure.

The one trick that really helped me last week when I did good was actually telling myself anytime I looked at something I shouldn't have:

"Forget it. Pre-disapproved. Move on. Figure it out."

I have already used that this morning. So far, so good.

Thanks again!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:19 pm

Brutal start this week. I feel very defeated. I will keep going though, I still feel a huge sense of determination to get this right. At least I am not jumping onto a new diet plan "because this one doesn't work". I have to learn how to separate eating from emotions - that is my weak point. If I get stressed, I lose focus and use eating to cope. I also eat as a form of procrastination a lot.

I CAN DO THIS. I will be one of those people who succeeds. It will take many tries, but I will never give up.

Breakfast: finished the blueberry muffin from yesterday; grapefruit; coffee w/ milk

Lunch: wholewheat/high protein pita with ham and tomato; apple

Extra meal: I needed this because I had a dentist appointment and knew it would be a long time until I could eat and the freezing wore off. It's a good thing b/c I was getting shaky. I had crackers, toast with pb, milk and a nectarine.

Dinner: pasta with cheese, veggies

I feel good about today.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:10 pm

Sinnie wrote:I CAN DO THIS. I will be one of those people who succeeds. It will take many tries, but I will never give up.

This.

amake616 · Post by **amake616** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:08 pm

It sounds like you're being really honest with yourself which means you're halfway there. I haven't tried sternly telling myself I'm pre-disapproved, that sounds like a good one. You can definitely do this...*rah, rah* Saturday is almoooooooost heeeere....less than 72 hours...

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:05 pm

Thank you for the vote of confidence

We can do this!!!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:28 pm

FAILURE

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:06 am

SUCCESS

Finally. Basically the one day this week. Just don't get myself sometimes.

Breakfast: not even a bit hungry b/c of the crazy binge last night but had coffee and then an apple later.

Lunch: pasta with cheese; nectarine

Dinner: OJ, more pasta (this time spaghetti and meatballs); cucumber/tomato salad

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:13 pm

Day 2: S day

Day 3: S day

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:39 pm

Day 4: FAILURE

Breakfast: toast w/ pb; small homemade wholewheat blueberry muffin

Lunch: high protein pita with capocollo & veggies; blueberries; almond milk

Dinner: udon noodles from this tiny food stand at a medical building I took my mom to...needed some food and this is all there was. Then virtual plated a plum later. I almost had cookies in response to stress. Smelled them. Put the container back and said to myself "these will not solve any problems."

EDIT: Came home and snacked quite a bit.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:36 pm

My new weigh in schedule is the 1st and 15th of every month.

February 1 - 119

Not bad considering I've been failing most days.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:25 pm

FAILED

Breakfast - egg sandwich (2 pieces of toast with a couple eggs cooked with ham and peppers); grapefruit; OJ watered down

Lunch - cheese and crackers; apple

Dinner - very odd dinner...if I can even call it that. Sampled three different chip type things (my sister works for a food company and brings home all kinds of stuff...of course her department is "snacks." Then I had some granola and yogurt. A bit of stirfry. A spoon of natural pb. Few sips of milk. Oh, some pineapple. Then a homemade cinnamon bun (they are not very sweet). I think that was it

Making tea now and putting it in a travel mug to go shopping with me. I think I may be snowed in tomorrow from work. I hope I can stay N.

Did an exercise class too.

EDIT: Went on a binge last night.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:08 pm

Oh, Cynthia, I'm sorry this is not going well for you

I wish you all the best. You can and you will do this! Go Sinnie!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:05 pm

Thanks Katie. I appreciate the support. I keep posting even though I'm failing b/c at least fessing up and the embarassment that goes with it helps get me back on track so I don't have to keep telling everyone.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:26 pm

Well, let's try this again. All we've got is to keep trying!

It's a snow day today. I made a bunch of food this morning, partly out of boredom and procrastination...partly to use up food sitting around. I made something called a German Fruit Puff which I slightly tweaked. Essentially it's made of eggs, flour and milk. I added maybe 1 tbsp of brown sugar. And I put blueberries all over the top! I also used up the cauliflower by making a casserole type thing. I mixed diced ham with cauliflower and topped it a potato cheese crust. (I made the cheese sauce from scratch and added grated potato). I also made bran muffins.

Anyways, breakfast was kind of virtual plated b/c I wasn't really setting myself up for success today (in give up mode). But, I'm feeling in better spirits now and will just group together what I ate as breakfast and move on with my day!

B: grapefruit, 2 slices fruit puff, bite bran muffin

L: cauliflower casserole, bran muffin and glass skim milk

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 5:01 pm

I'm German, but WTH is a German Fruit Puff? Probably something like the German chocolate cake, which is not German whatsoever.

I'd also recommend to be really strict about N days from now on. If you eat three meals a day, none of them including sweets or seconds, but all of them fitting on a plate each, that's a success. If you eat anything in addition to that, it's a failure. I'd be really careful with virtual plating for now, because then you can just think "Whatever, I already failed anyway" and this can lead to a binge/permasnacking.

I'm rooting for you, Sinnie!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:13 pm

Hey Katie, LOL @ the German fruit puff

I have no idea if it's German or not, that's just what the recipe called it! But it was really good. Almost like a big puff pancake. It's made with lots of eggs, some flour, and poured into an oiled pan and baked in the oven. It says to put fruit on it, but I baked it with fruit. I think I may make it more often because without sugar it's very NO S friendly and the eggs give it protein!

Thanks for the advice as well. Coming from someone who mainly succeeds, I think I should listen. Today is so far, so good.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:22 pm

I really wanted to fail (in fact, I still want to fail) but because of this doggone board I'm not! haha

Breakfast was a homemade bran muffin and coffee

Lunch was 2 slices of homemade bread (I defrosted and it was still really good), leftover prime rib and pineapple. Diet gingerale.

I really wanted to pick before dinner when I got to my mom's. But, instead, I asked for a glass of wine. I am proud of myself as weird as that may sound. A small glass of red wine is hugely better than the picking I usually do and count it as "dinner". Then when it was ready, I had salad, homemade pizza and an apple.

SUCCESS.

Thank you Katie. I actually thought of your post when I wanted to derail everything after a hectic and tiring day of work.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 3:24 am

More failures, and that includes last night. Hey, gotta stay honest.

I think I've learned something though. I really thought I could start to tweak No S by starting to legitimately include snacks and sweets, maybe pay more attention to calories and whatnot. It starts off all cool and appropriate, then WHAMO! What a dumb decision that was. It never works with me. A little snack always leads to more one thing.....then that thing leads into a cookie....or 10.....you get the picture.

I was thinking about that. Being moderate, snacking (supposedly healthfully - it always starts out like that) has never led to any decent weight loss for me. The honest truth is I only ever lost real weight and kept it off by following three meals. It's simple. But just not easy.

At least I come back to this realization quickly, before any damage is done (in terms of gaining lots of weight).

Yet again, lesson learned. I need to build some character. This isn't THAT hard.

I'm back and going to be stronger than ever.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:18 pm

Even though yesterday was an a day, I more or less treated it like an n day. It was a success.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:18 pm

Even though yesterday was an a day, I more or less treated it like an n day. It was a success.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:00 pm

I just went to the doctor's today and he said that I am down 3 kg since last year (6.5 lbs???). Regardless, that sounds pretty good to me

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:32 pm

It's been awhile. I have been so busy.

I wanted to report my weigh in as of February 15 (well, I couldn't weigh in yesterday, so did it today). 119.5

Up 0.5 lbs but I am not worried. I'm happy I've brought my new set point down to below 120! But I've been snacking a decent amount, eating sweets/seconds so I didn't expect to lose weight.

I think I need to track again to keep it top of mind.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:39 pm

I am starting over and am going to be insanely strict with myself. I'm going to stop virtual plating for now as that lends itself to snacking.

DAY 1: FAILURE
Breakfast: cottage cheese and pineapple
Lunch: chicken sandwich, spinach & strawberry salad, leftover pineapple, small apple
Dinner: brocoli cheddar soup, crackers, peach

Snacked a whole bunch. Turned a small glitch into a disaster. I've become so used to eating whatever I want in the past couple weeks, it was easy to just keep doing that tonight. So disappointed because at a meeting today there was lots of food, but I knew it'd be a bad idea to eat "dinner" at 3pm so I didnt touch anything but water and then I screwed everything up just before bed. Sigh.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:24 pm

I will do this.

Breakfast: 1/2 blueberry bagel with cream cheese, strawberries/pineapple

Lunch: veggies and dip, 2 slices pizza, apple

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:27 pm

Aww, I know exactly what you're going through... sounds like my last three weeks

You'll do fine!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:26 pm

Yesterday did turn out to be a SUCCESS. There was a lick of peanut butter when making my lunch for today, but psychologically I really need a success so I'm letting it go. On shaky grounds with my discipline and motivation.

This morning there was basically no food for breakfast (at fiance's house and he just got back from vacation). I scraped together a tiny piece of leftover bread with pb and small bowl of cereal (made with evaporated milk and water - gag). I was shaky after first period so I had a peach and my pb & j sandwich that was supposed to be for lunch. I'm giving myself a choice here - I will still allow it to be a success if I don't get any extra food and just wait until dinner (except I can still eat the tangerines from lunch). I am using my own authority to direct my decision. This can be a disaster of a day or I can take back control right now.

Will update. Wish me luck.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:36 pm

I think days that you get through on sheer will power and determination despite untoward circumstances should be considered successful days.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:12 pm

Thanks for the support. Makes me ever more determined to get this right today. I need to think positive. I have not messed up beyond repair yet. Not ideal, sure, but if I don't eat anything else unplanned, I technically have not eaten anything I wouldn't have on a purely successful day. Just out of order. Again, bad idea for an everday basis but I need to figure out ways to adjust when things go wrong, and not throw in the towel as per my usual.

sarah.grace · Post by **sarah.grace** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:09 pm

Hang in there- you CAN make it through today successfully! All you have to do is eat your tangerines, and eat dinner, and you don't have to worry about tomorrow or the next day, until they come.
Think big picture- what's the worst that can happen if you follow the plan for the rest of today? Nothing severe. The world will not come crashing down around you. in my experience- the guilt of failing is much worse than the difficulty of sticking to the plan... as long as I remember that at the moment of temptation.
Sticking to your habits, building self-discipline- it's not easy, but it will be worth it! You can do it!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:52 pm

Sarah Grace, you said exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you. You are right and I promise I will post that I DID IT. I kinda need the confidence in myself that I am strong willed, too.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:58 pm

Well, I did it! Dinner was sort of big, but I did it. I did it. Wow, it feels good to say that.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:39 pm

Well I spoke too soon. I binged last night. I feel crazy, saying one thing and doing another. I think I am in diet mindset. Deep down, I feel like I can go on a calorie reduced diet and lose it quickly, so I have that whole "I can start tomorrow" trap in my mind. I know better, why am I not doing better?

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:00 pm

Breakfast: 1/2 bagel with cream cheese (didn't quite finish); coffee; apple
Lunch: cheese sandwich; carrots/celery; apple; strawberries
Dinner: chicken; pasta; broccoli; juice

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:14 pm

This is what blew this whole thing up for me a few years ago. I got down to a lean, fit-looking 165 and thought "that was easy. It's easy to lose weight. I don't have to worry. I can eat what I want, then lose it later!"

30 pounds later, I was starting over.

Reinhard got it right: maintenance is hard, and the real battle for many of us.

Sinnie wrote:Well I spoke too soon. I binged last night. I feel crazy, saying one thing and doing another. I think I am in diet mindset. Deep down, I feel like I can go on a calorie reduced diet and lose it quickly, so I have that whole "I can start tomorrow" trap in my mind. I know better, why am I not doing better?