Tobiasmom's Journey Continues...

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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tobiasmom
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Tobiasmom's Journey Continues...

Post by tobiasmom » Sun May 08, 2016 1:36 am

Well, here it goes. I have been on the diet roller coaster for way too many years. I have decided that I really need to heal. I need to learn to love myself. I need to stop the dieting and calorie counting and obsessing and binging and quitting and negative self talk. So I am going on this journey again with no expectations. I have always wanted the weight loss. But what I really need is to completely change my relationship with food.

The plan? 3 plates a day. No rules or counting. Sweets on S days.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

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Post by MaggieMae » Sun May 08, 2016 2:07 am

Hi! Tobiasmom! I'm in the same boat! Your post sounds like it could have been written by me. I, too, need to heal whether I ever lose weight or not. Good luck! We can do this! If you feel discourage or think about going back into "diet mode", message me. We'll remind each other why we came back to No s.

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jackn
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Post by jackn » Sun May 08, 2016 4:27 am

Hey, MaggieMae and TobiasMom.

TobiasMom's message could have been written by me, too, MaggieMae. I was thinking that as I was reading it, and then saw the thought echoed in MaggieMae's answer...

Sounds like a good, calm plan.

Good luck to us all.
At meals only eat.
Only eat at meals.

tobiasmom
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Week 1

Post by tobiasmom » Tue May 10, 2016 5:56 am

Well, today was red. Plain and simple. I am letting busyness and stress overtake my eating structure. I have a biopsy of two thyroid nodules tomorrow. I had one last year...and it's just uncomfortable and a little scary. Food will not help me, but I still mentally go there. Ugh... I've got some work to do. For now I will stay out of the snacks the rest of the evening and have a nice breakfast to start my day tomorrow and just let what will be...be!! God's got this!
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

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Post by jackn » Tue May 10, 2016 6:25 am

Get well soon.

Can't happen overnight, can it.
Please don't beat yourself up over it.
We are people.

Good luck on coming days.
At meals only eat.
Only eat at meals.

tobiasmom
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June

Post by tobiasmom » Sun Jun 12, 2016 12:40 am

It's been a month since I have checked in. I ended up not having a biopsy on my thyroid. Doc said it looks benign still so we will will check it again in six months. It's uncomfortable, but I don't want to remove the thyroid unless I really truly have to!!

I'm down a little over 2 pounds this month. I have yo-yo'd quite a bit and fallen into the Weight Watchers trap off and on this month. But I am here. A little progress!

I think I might start tracking my three plates on here again for a while just to get that 21 days of habit solid again. Today is an S day and we are going out for my hubby's birthday to Gordon Biersch near Waikiki. I plan to have a nice plate of something delicious and share a dessert &#128077;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

e-lyn
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Post by e-lyn » Sun Jun 12, 2016 4:55 am

Glad to hear the thyroid nodules are most likely benign. I was diagnosed with them during my first pregnancy 25 years ago. I've had a couple of biopsies (benign) and I try to get in for regular ultrasounds. My levels have always been normal too.

I found tracking my food very helpful in the first few weeks. Mostly to give myself a reference point in case I got anxious about my meals or tempted to modify or veer from the vanilla plan. Now I'm trying to relax and move on from that a bit.

Enjoy your S dessert!

tobiasmom
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Monday

Post by tobiasmom » Mon Jun 27, 2016 7:08 pm

Well, I haven't checked in in a few weeks. You can always bet that's cuz I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to&#128541;. But here I am. I had planned to track my meals, but that sounds quiet diet-y to me right now. So I will just do the 21 days of habit check-in here instead! I think if I can get 21 days under my belt I will be on my way to making this a real habit. I have so so so many years of the bad habits. This is going to take some time. But I know it will be worth it!!

Not a re-start. Just a little more commitment to green than I have been accomplishing lately &#128077;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Mon Jun 27, 2016 11:46 pm

Good for you for checking back in and recommitting! Getting in those first 21 days is a good goal--we're rooting for you!
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

tobiasmom
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August

Post by tobiasmom » Tue Aug 30, 2016 2:15 am

Why, oh, why do I continue to do this to myself? I've been gone from No-S trying who knows how many different things....and they are all so almost cultish and obsessive!! It's really craziness. I can't stick to any of them long-term and I truthfully don't want to! I don't know why I can't get it into my thick skull that three regular plates of food is the way to go. Ugh.....

Needless to say, I'm crawling back AGAIN to sanity. I can't make any promises cuz I've proved quite untrustworthy up to this point, but I'm hoping to just take this thing one meal at a time.....

See that part in my signature about diet hopping??? Listen to yourself, Amy!!!!

&#128553;&#128553;&#128553;&#128553;&#128553;&#128584;&#128584;&#128584;&#128584;&#128584;&#128584;&#128518;&#128518;&#128518;&#128518;&#128518;
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oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:29 am

I humbly urge you to write down a list of all the miseries you've experienced with your chaotic eating. Then also write what you believe will be the benefits and wisdom of more ordered eating. Read them both at calm moments EVERY DAY for three months. I'm serious. That was pivotal for me. I still have my list and am adding to it today because of a new realization I've made.


The neural patterns of overeating, the human propensity for opportunistic overeating, the insane availability of food make it very hard to keep rationality front and center. Please give yourself the chance to practice the mindset to counteract it. Don't feel bad about needing this step.

It may take awhile for the connection to sink in, but it's worth it.
Last edited by oolala53 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:33 am

oolala53 wrote:I humbly urge you to write down a list of all the miseries you've experienced with your chaotic eating. Then also write what you believe will be the benefits and wisdom of more ordered eating. Read them both at calm moments EVERY DAY for three months. I'm serious. That was pivotal for me. I still have my list and am adding to it today because of a new realization I've made.


The neural patterns of overeating, the human propensity for opportunistic overeating, the insane availability of food make it very hard to keep rationality front and center. Please give yourself the chance to practice the mindset to counteract it. Don't feel bad about needing this step.

It may take awhile for the connection to sink it, but it's worth it.
*like*
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

tobiasmom
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Thoughts

Post by tobiasmom » Sat Sep 03, 2016 4:39 pm

Great idea to make a list!!! Here is my downright honest thoughts.....


Chaotic eating causes.........

- guilt
- physical joint pain
- need for more and more junk
- weight gain
- anxiety
- jumping to a new diet plan
- high blood pressure
- mood swings esp w kids and hubby
- lazy and tired
- wasted time (planning and obsessing)
- misery
- dishonoring God with my gluttony
- lower sex drive
- dislike myself/negative self talk



Wisdom and benefits of ordered eating:

- feeling in control
- honoring God
- feeling sexier
- more energy
- better attitude/more positive
- less anxiety
- more productive
- happier overall
- treat kids and hubby better (not so moody)
- better health
- less weight means less stress on joints
- less desire to overeat once ball is rolling


I will add to this as I think of more.
&#128512;&#128512;&#128512;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Sun Sep 04, 2016 4:20 am

great lists!
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

oolala53
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:56 am

Excellent! Don't be afraid to read them more than once a day to start.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

e-lyn
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Post by e-lyn » Wed Sep 07, 2016 2:27 am

Very nice list and makes it so clear what your priorities really are. Food can be such a distraction for some of us. I'm really trying to put it in its proper place with NoS. Thanks for sharing your list.

e-lyn
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Post by e-lyn » Wed Sep 07, 2016 2:27 am

Oops...double post.

tobiasmom
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Oh boy

Post by tobiasmom » Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:48 am

I am so glad I wrote that list last month. I came back to read it tonight. Since moving to Hawaii in January I have gained about 20 pounds. The loneliness and uncertainty of frequent military moves just takes its toll. My main problem is dieting. I switch diets like a madwoman. I have spent so much money in the past 30 years on dieting in general. It's insanity! And all it has gotten me is at an almost all-time high of 221 pounds &#128563;

So as I wrote at the beginning of this check-in back in May.....I want to learn to love myself and give up the dieting and obsessive behavior. I have a lot of great qualities that have nothing to do with my weight. I need to downright change my mindset.

I have tried and given up on this plan so many times in the past five years. But in all that time I haven't lasted longer than a few months before jumping ship for whatever new shiny plan out there. I'm putting my blinders on! &#128540;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:07 pm

I gently suggest you print the lists and keep copies around or put a copy on your computer desktop. I read mine daily for several months. I'm going to go read it now!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

ModBod
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Post by ModBod » Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:41 pm

Hi Tobiasmom's... it's a real journey, isn't it? Well done for keeping on coming back here.

I am new! I've been trying NoS for nearly 2 weeks now and I think it brings real sanity to life and eating... Your lists are very powerful and I think probably most of us can relate to most of them!

In my limited experience I would say:
- Don't be hard on yourself.

- I would really recommend you post your meals each day. Yes, it might feel a bit 'diety' but actually I've found it very motivating to be able to share on here when I've had a GREEN day! Some people don't write the actual food. I do because it keeps me on track during the day.

And what's so nice is how people take the trouble to write encouraging responses! It feels so different to just 'tracking' food on a calorie counting app - this is about a conversation with other people, and I think (for me, at least) it is making all the difference

- Do make sure your meals are really substantial and as delicious as possible! It definitely isn't about depriving yourself, particularly at the start when portions might sometimes seem too big, but if that helps keep to the habits then that's the first major goal. i am so amazed about how enjoyable it is to sit down to a really substantial meal, feeling hungry and ready for it. And to then eat a really good amount of food so that I feel satisfied. It helps me end that plateful and think 'that was great!' and feel like I can now wait until the next one!

Anyway, those are just observations of what I've found helpful in these early days...
Wishing you all the best, and looking forward to reading your updates :)
I'm looking to lose about 12lbs...
31.09: 65.7kg/144.8lbs, BMI-25.7!
14.10: 64.9kg/143lbs, BMI - 25.4!

tobiasmom
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Monday

Post by tobiasmom » Tue Nov 08, 2016 4:56 am

I am back!! I am getting rid of all my diet books and apps!!! Done.

Day 1: GREEN!!! 221.8 pounds
B: two pumpkin mini muffins, spoon of peanut butter, Apple slices
L: vegetable lasagna, salad
D: crockpot roast w mashed potatoes
Last edited by tobiasmom on Wed Nov 09, 2016 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

tobiasmom
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Tuesday

Post by tobiasmom » Wed Nov 09, 2016 5:35 am

Day 2: Green!
B: two slices of toast with peanut butter, coffee with cream
L: chips and melted cheese (one plate)
D: two slices veggie pizza w a few Parmesan bites

I am sick sick sick so I am eating whatever is quick and tastes ok...although it all tastes weird right now. Hoping to get over this cold quickly!
Last edited by tobiasmom on Fri Nov 11, 2016 5:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

tobiasmom
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Wednesday

Post by tobiasmom » Thu Nov 10, 2016 4:55 am

Day 3: Green!
B: two slices of toast with peanut butter, coffee with cream
L: bowl of tomato soup with crackers
D: Taco Bell: two cheesy gordita crunch tacos (with beans instead of meat)

- Still feeing very sick. Nothing tastes good. Just eating stuff to keep my energy up.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

tobiasmom
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Thursday

Post by tobiasmom » Fri Nov 11, 2016 4:58 am

Day 4: Green!
B: one slice of toast with peanut butter, coffee with cream
L: grilled cheese sandwich and fries
D: macaroni and cheese, peas, slice of toast w butter and garlic

- I managed to bowl 2 games today despite still being sick (144 and 163). I am definitely feeling quite a bit better. I am hopeful this will be gone soon &#128556;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

tobiasmom
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Friday

Post by tobiasmom » Sat Nov 12, 2016 9:46 pm

Day 5: RED
B: chocolate chip pancakes, coffee with cream
L: beef roast with mashed potatoes
D: two veggie hot dogs, Mediterranean pasta salad, baked beans, salad, can of coke
S: can of root beer, ice cream sandwich

- unexpected red at a church function in the evening.
Last edited by tobiasmom on Sun Nov 13, 2016 6:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

tobiasmom
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Saturday

Post by tobiasmom » Sat Nov 12, 2016 9:56 pm

Day 6: S DAY!
B: English muffin with butter, coffee with cream
L: roasted veggie sandwich, a few cheetoh's, grapes
D: fish and chips, one soda
S: chocolate covered almonds (a lot)
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tobiasmom
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Day 7

Post by tobiasmom » Mon Nov 14, 2016 7:39 am

Day 7: Wild and crazy S day &#128553;&#128553;&#128553;&#128580;
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oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:37 pm

Sundays can be tough.

One more full week to "practice" before Thanksgiving... :)
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

tobiasmom
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Monday

Post by tobiasmom » Tue Nov 15, 2016 7:06 am

Day 8: RED &#128553;

I started out the day strong and just fizzled with a bunch of chocolate covered almonds.

B: English muffin with peanut butter, banana, coffee with cream
L: peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cheetoh's, 1/2 protein bar that I disliked the flavor of
S: Doritos, chocolate covered almonds (the whole bag &#128563;)
D: plate of chips with cheese
S: six Hershey kisses
Last edited by tobiasmom on Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Tue Nov 15, 2016 1:09 pm

May I ask: Are you reviewing your lists from Sept. 8 daily, or even more often for awhile?

Enjoy every bite!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

tobiasmom
Posts: 1375
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:08 pm
Location: Honolulu

Thanks

Post by tobiasmom » Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:49 pm

You know what??? I haven't been reading my lists. Thanks for the reminder. I bet it would really help in the afternoons when I'm weak! Thanks, oolala!!
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

oolala53
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Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Nov 16, 2016 1:19 pm

It does! And I bet reading them often will make some of the ideas pop into your head at the right times more and more, even when you don't have access to them.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

tobiasmom
Posts: 1375
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:08 pm
Location: Honolulu

Tuesday

Post by tobiasmom » Thu Nov 17, 2016 5:07 am

Day 9: Red

Oh, boy. Here I go again! I got a call last night from my Weight Watchers leader (my 3-month membership expires the end of the month), and she convinced me to come to a meeting today. So I got up this morning ready to go all in with WW again (even though I never stick to it), but I ended up sitting in traffic for an hour and completely missing the meeting. Is that a sign or what??? So....I just spent the day confused and blowing it! Oh, the craziness!!!! I'm so tired of this yo-yo crud.

So here I am. Red day...but clearing my head and reading my lists and sticking with three plates!!!
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

oolala53
Posts: 9635
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
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Post by oolala53 » Thu Nov 17, 2016 7:11 am

I say to regard this as an omen. :o

If you want help for ideas about how to handle WW if they call back, ask. :evil:
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Merry
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Post by Merry » Fri Nov 18, 2016 3:15 am

Traffic is no fun, but in this case maybe it was a good thing!
oolala53 wrote:I say to regard this as an omen. :o

If you want help for ideas about how to handle WW if they call back, ask. :evil:
oooh, I think Oolala has super-powers in this area, sic her on them!

In the end, I really think No-S is so much simpler to follow (not easy--some days can be down-right challenging!--but counting plates is so much easier than counting points, and in the end it's simpler to stick with.) Hang in there!
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

tobiasmom
Posts: 1375
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:08 pm
Location: Honolulu

Wednesday to Friday

Post by tobiasmom » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:23 am

Days 10, 11, and 12: RED, GREEN, RED

Been doing pretty ok. Just one foot in front of the other. I took the kids to Chuck E Cheese today. I was NOT looking forward to it at all, but they had tons of fun....and dare I say the pizza tasted great?! That was shocking to me. A few small slices on the plate....yum! A friend got me a soda and I drank it without a second thought. Oops. This is gonna take some time.

I officially cancelled the WW membership so I shouldn't be getting anymore calls. Gonna work this holiday season one day at a time &#128077;
Military wife and homeschool mom of two boys, 11 and 6
Committed to No-S, period!

oolala53
Posts: 9635
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Nov 19, 2016 9:25 am

You were shocked that pizza tasted great? or were you kidding.

I always want more pizza at the time I'm having it, but am always glad later I didn't have it. I feel too full but so thirsty that I keep drinking and feel really bloated. But it never stops tasting good. (On several lists, it's one of the most addictive foods. )

Step by step.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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threewhales
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Location: Texas

Post by threewhales » Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:19 pm

Following you through 2017!
Cynthia aka Threewhales
Vanilla No S ReStart 12/26/16

Things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.
~Albert Einstein

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