Allison's Summer check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Allisonmeg
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Allison's Summer check-in

Post by Allisonmeg » Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:13 pm

Time to start my summer check-in and re-listen to podcasts. My weight is still going up, so I am at a spot that I'm going to count calories along with No S. I have never ever weighed this much (except when around 6 months pregnant). I obviously need far fewer calories after menopause and no more babies and toddlers to chase around. (I work out 5 days a week always consistently on treadclimber or maxtrainer).
My No S has been a little more lax lately, mostly due to watermelon/cantaloupe season. But my ice-cream fixation has really gone down after doing a 21 day NO ICE CREAM. My next goal is to do a 21 day NO sweets at all.
Also I keep experimenting about writing my food down on here each day or not. I really do better when I write it down. Otherwise a little bite of something goes by unnoticed. I definitely need to get my No S strictness back on track AND step up my fence around the law.

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Post by Allisonmeg » Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:16 pm

B- Protein bar, more coffee than usual, watermelon
L/D- Taco salad, no bowl eating, chips (brought leftovers home for d)

Ok, yay! I did well for the rest of the day. I was tempted by crunchy Cheetos, and now dh begging me to try his burger. Slightly hungry but hoping to start enjoying this feeling lol :mrgreen:
Last edited by Allisonmeg on Thu Jun 22, 2017 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:20 am

Welcome to your summer check-in! I hope it goes well for you. Maybe calorie counting for awhile will help you get an idea of a good plate size for the future. (I've found that I had to go to smaller plates for most meals--I definitely don't eat like I did when I was younger, LOL! Sometimes that's hard to remember!)
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:47 pm

I'm still here, just not posting too much (as dd has online classes on this computer). Felt the need to write because I had a big late night binge last night. No good excuses, well there never is....as always dh left on a trip yesterday and I had big sneak-fest. Still did that without tripping up my 21 day conquest of no sweets. And then trying to compensate today, I've managed to eat White Cheddar popcorn and Ritz crackers through the day. All in all, a very :oops: RED :oops: 24hrs. Now I'm about to stuff my bloated self into a bathing suit and take the boys to the pool, ughhhhhh! :shock:
Last edited by Allisonmeg on Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:15 pm

July
Su Mo Tu W Th Fr Sa
02 03 04 05 06 07 08
09 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31
Last edited by Allisonmeg on Thu Jul 06, 2017 11:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Tue Jul 04, 2017 9:46 pm

July will be better! Do you think the no sweets precipitated the fails? Or more just the old sneak habit? I spent several days with a friend recently- I'm hardly ever around people for days at a time. I found myself thinking of really chowing down when I was on my own, which happened a fair amount because her need for sleep is much greater than mine. But it was also when she'd take a shower. It felt so silly! She wouldn't have cared a feather if I had eaten when she was awake so there was no reason to feel like I had to eat secretly. It was just old tapes.

Then again, I've come to believe we can't really always know why we do things, and the remedy is pretty much the same. Stick it out and wait for the next meal!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
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Post by Merry » Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:47 am

I hope you enjoyed your time at the pool with your boys. Nothing can replace these days with our kids--just focus on what a treasure it is to be with them and don't worry about weight or swimsuits.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Post by Allisonmeg » Fri Jul 07, 2017 12:02 am

Thank you guys, it's been an interesting couple of days. I'm gearing up to take my daughter to her 2 day orientation class for college in a few more days. Been doing half way decent of eating. Still no sweets, messed up a bit having chips with my Mexican.

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Post by oolala53 » Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:33 am

Not bad.

Seems early to be going off for orientation, but what an exciting time! All these years later I still have fond memories.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:03 am

My No S friends, my 17 year old died on Thursday. I feel like you all have been with me through all the tough times. Here's her obituary page:

http://www.pierce-jeffersonfuneralservi ... a-Gardella

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:19 am

My deepest condolences. I can't imagine what you're going through now. Much love.

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Post by Merry » Sun Jul 16, 2017 4:45 am

Oh Allison, ((((Hugs)))) What a beautiful young woman. I'm so sorry. There are no words. Heartbreaking. :cry: :cry: :cry: I'm praying for you and your family.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Post by gingerpie » Sun Jul 16, 2017 12:07 pm

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. She was indeed a beautiful and talented girl.

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Post by LifeisaBlessing » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm

Sympathy and prayers for all of your family. :(
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

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Post by ladybird30 » Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:51 pm

I was so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my sympathies.

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Post by Jen1974 » Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:57 pm

I'm so sorry Allison!!

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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:07 pm

I don't even know what to say about the last few days, but thank you for the kind words. It's so hard.

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Post by oolala53 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:25 pm

My chest and stomach went completely hollow when I read your message. I wish there was a way to enfold you in comfort. May your family be healed soon.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Post by TexArk » Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:07 am

I just saw this post and my heart aches for you. I pray you have a good support group to surround you and hold you close.

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Aug 03, 2017 2:16 pm

I'm back. It's been 3 weeks so I'm going to try and join back in. Eating for once, hasn't actually been an issue. But I know it will be very soon and this is the only social outlet I have.

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:56 pm

Allison, my thoughts have been with you and I'm glad to see you're back. Trace

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Post by splandrea » Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:28 pm

I think about you daily as well. (((((hugs)))))
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Post by gingerpie » Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:39 pm

I'm glad you came back and I'm especially glad that you find the forum a comforting outlet.

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Post by osoniye » Mon Aug 07, 2017 6:43 pm

Hi there Sweetie, I am so, so sorry! That is heart breaking. No words are enough. God be with you.
-Sonya
No Sweets, No Snacks and No Seconds, Except (Sometimes) on days that start with "S".

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:55 pm

Thank you everyone. I'm still here, just being more of a lurker lately. Thursday will be 4 weeks and also the day we were supposed to move her into her college dorm. We're on a food train, so I am surrounded by food. Last night someone brought over baked manicotti and it's the first thing I've really eaten with some gusto.
I also had several visitors from my side of the family yesterday. I think I'm feeling better today just because I got them out of the way. We'll see where the day leads. I woke up feeling better than I have. I just have to keep telling myself she's finally at peace.

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Post by osoniye » Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:30 pm

You lurk all you want, Allison. I'm glad you're still checking in here, and that you feel a little bit better just now. Do what you need to do to take care of you!
-Sonya
No Sweets, No Snacks and No Seconds, Except (Sometimes) on days that start with "S".

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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:16 pm

B- Special K cereal w/ strawberries
L- small bowl Stouffer's mac n cheese

3pm- I completely forgot I officially was starting NoS back and polished off a leftover ice cream sundae my daughter made for the boys. I had just finished working out too. I have to go back and reread my old posts about why NoS is so important when things really go downhill. It once again feels superficial to be writing about my food intake, but I know that my food issues go way deeper than what's on the fork. For me to lose control of my eating habits now would make the rest of my life continue to spiral. As it is now, my mind does not stop going, does not stop asking why or what I could've done differently; it just never stops. For me to have one little aspect in focus is what I have to strive for.
I will get back on track today and start a new day tomorrow.

(and thank you Sonya, I appreciate it :) )

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Post by Allisonmeg » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:56 am

One month ago today. I was good all day and fell apart mid-afternoon. Hubby and I went out for first time since it all happened a month ago last night. Boyfriend's mom asked to get together Tuesday. I'm scared to but also think its necessary

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Post by Merry » Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:47 am

It's good to see you back again. I hope the meeting with her boyfriend's parents goes well. My heart just aches for you but I too am glad that we can be a bit of a social outlet for you. Know that we care. (((Hugs))), praying for you.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Post by gingerpie » Tue Aug 15, 2017 10:01 am

I'll be thinking of you today. I hope all goes well with your meeting.

Kind regards,
Virginia

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Post by oolala53 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 3:04 am

I'm humbled that we can be of any help, but I agree about the value of the social outlet here. I don't think anyone can predict when the thoughts will calm down, but I think your thinking strategy is wise and it makes perfect sense to me to use a food routine for a foundation. Big hugs.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:02 pm

Thank you for all the kind words. My mind has calmed down a bit these last few days and meeting with her boyfriend's mom was very good. He started college yesterday (where my daughter was going with him) and has been texting me throughout the move. My husband left on a quick 2-day trip, the first he's worked since July 1st, and it's been very peaceful having a lazy day. Yesterday marked the end of the food train set up for us, which is also nice knowing I don't have to be ready for the doorbell to ring.

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Post by noni » Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:52 pm

Allison, I just saw this. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. May God be a comfort to you and your family.
"Never go back for seconds. Get it all the first time." - Garfield

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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Aug 31, 2017 12:43 am

So to just add to the last few weeks, my 4 year old broke his arm rather badly and has to have surgery tomorrow. I'm a nervous wreck. I think this was the straw that finally broke hubby. First time I've seen him cry since funeral
Last edited by Allisonmeg on Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:17 am

Oh Allison. I'm so sorry. I hope your little man heals up soon.

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Post by oolala53 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:24 am

A lot going on. Big hugs. Hope September is a healing time.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:04 am

Oh my goodness! Praying for your sweet little son--I hope the surgery goes well. Praying for you all--for courage, perseverance, comfort--that God would sustain you in this time of engulfing grief. (((Hugs)))
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:24 pm

Thank you for the prayers and hugs. He did great. It was very hard watching him go through it, but in a way it helped tamp down my grief over my daughter a bit. He got two pins going the length of both arm bones. He'll have to be put back under to get them out, but he's in no pain at all. I promise I'll get back on here soon and start No S ing in earnest. Little guy started preschool back today so I am extremely thankful to get back into a routine. I'm trying to keep my mind busy and just keep remembering that she's at peace now.

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:33 am

Don't feel obligated to us! Glad you'll be having a different routine. Kudos to your little one! It's such a boon that there's no pain for him. Big hugs.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Merry
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Post by Merry » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:21 am

I'm so glad the surgery went well and that he's not in pain!! I hope he enjoys preschool.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:46 pm

Things are going pretty good. I'm definitely on an upward path this week. Little guy doing great in his cast. Everybody adjusting to school ok.
Eating nicely noS on this Monday.

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Post by Larkspur » Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:46 pm

So glad to hear your little boy is doing well with his cast. I hope you are taking good care of yourself too.

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:14 pm

Very nice to hear.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Allisonmeg
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Post by Allisonmeg » Tue Sep 19, 2017 1:50 am

I'm curious as to whether I should seek counseling. It almost seems wrong that I'm not. But I hate paying someone to listen to me grieve. What to do, I think I've had probably the worst experience a person could face but I'm blank as to what to say to someone who's charging 150 bucks an hour. Granted, we know this is all because I didn't save my 17 year old daughter. My latest thing I've read is to write down 5 things I'm grateful for each night before bed, but I feel bad even in doing that. Every thing I think of, I question. Nothing seems good enough to make the list. I mean I'm grateful for the other 5 kids I have but at the same time, I pretty much killed one of them. So it's hard to be grateful because I'm worried at how not to kill another. I have learned no big life lesson, so I don't know how to prevent this from happening again.

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Post by splandrea » Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:12 am

I can only say that your baby girl had an illness and I might think I was responsible in your situation, too, but I know that's not true. But it sounds to me like this is definitely a stage of grieving you are going through and maybe you don't "need" counseling, maybe you just don't want it? Do you have a best friend? If so, does she think it could benefit you? My heart is broken for you and I am terrible with words, but I felt compelled to say that what you feel is normal, but it's not true. That's probably not what you want to hear right now, but no matter the circumstances, don't let guilt eat you alive. What about just a community support group that is free or cheap? Sending hugs to you.
07/01/17: 258
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Aiming for 180. We shall see...

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:39 am

Are you saying that about your responsibility because that's the thought that keeps coming to you or because you believe it? I think it's definitely too soon to expect to have learned a life lesson.

What about a pastor if there is no grief support group? There's got to be a less pricey alternative. Even something online?

My understanding of writing down things I'm grateful for (I've heard only 3 a day, not 5) is that they should not be general things, like blue skies, for example, but noticing the sky today or not your children in general, but something cute or touching one of the children said today, etc It's possible it would still be useful even if you don't feel it deeply right now, but you know you normally would, as long as you don't judge yourself for not feeling it.

You can call me, if you think it would help... but I'll understand if that seems bizarre.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Post by Lilybug » Tue Sep 19, 2017 4:30 am

I am just now reading this thread. I am so sorry, Allison. I wish I could give you a big hug and somehow lessen this pain for you.

I think I would consider counseling or a grief support group. I blamed myself for a tragic loss when I was in my 20s. It took years to fully understand that it was absolutely not.

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Post by Larkspur » Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:21 pm

Allison, if anybody deserves to have someone listen to them grieve, it's you. I have found therapy to be helpful even when I didn't think the therapist was that good. Even if you get six sessions now and six sessions in a year, it might help your healing which in turn will help you to be there for your kids. It's the therapist's task to help you-- you don't have to make yourself responsible for what to say.

If you were in Central Pennsylvania-- I could set you up with six sessions pro bono.

God bless you, my dear.

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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:30 pm

Ok so I did it. I made a grief therapy appointment this coming Monday, which only gives me tomorrow to NOT chicken out. I don't know why this is so anxiety-provoking for me. I also completely binged after doing it (pizza, tater tots). Also a first in a long time. If I didn't make the appointment though, everyone will keep on me now. For almost a first in 20 years, my husband called my mom about me. Now my parents are acting tip-toey, getting other family members involved, inviting me over during preschool hours (so odd); even my husband is acting like he's dealing very carefully with me and giving me precise hours when he'll call. Well he's on a trip so I think suddenly everyone is thinking I'm a loose cannon Now my dad wants me to talk to the lady across the street from them whose 14 year old son shot himself the week before my daughter hung herself. I'm sorry, he said SHE really wants to talk to me. Why would I possibly want to talk to her yet? Everybody was telling me how great I'm handling things and how awful she's doing. Now they're all like oooohhhhh, I'm a disaster too. I just don't think I'm ready to talk to anybody. I put a collage of all her school pictures together today and actually felt pretty strong doing it.

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Post by Allisonmeg » Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:43 pm

Also I want to thank you all for your words. I've read them over and over now and it DID help tremendously in finally picking up the phone.

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Post by oolala53 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 2:58 am

Could it be that you're afraid it will open the floodgates? Would that be so terrible? Big hugs.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Sep 22, 2017 3:49 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going through.

I go to therapy, and find it tremondously helpful. I was so nervous about going though and almost chickened out. I'm really glad I didn't though as it's very healing. To be honest I still kind of dread going each time because it's just scary opening up. I always feel so much better afterwards though so it's worth it.

I hope you find some peace & relief.

*hugs*

Linda
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Post by Merry » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:12 am

(((Hugs))) I hope you go--more people would benefit from going. I went to counseling and also met with a pastor regularly early on in my husband's chronic illness--very helpful. You're going through incredible trauma and grief. Your family doesn't know what's right to say or what's not right to say--they just see your pain and they care.

I'll bet the collage is beautiful.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

Allisonmeg
Posts: 563
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:27 pm
Location: Oak Ridge, North Carolina

Post by Allisonmeg » Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:11 pm

Thank you all. I hate to tell you I chickened out. I didn't sleep all night thinking about going on Monday and I called and canceled right at 8:30. My aunt came over this morning. She lost her daughter (20 years ago at 36, the only tragedy in our family before now ) and I was dreading her coming over. Well, it did go very well and I can see I should have left the appointment as is. It must be a floodgate thing because I had mouth diarrhea while she was over. I also agree it's just SO scary for me to open up. I am horrible at it. I also remember 20 plus years ago going to therapy when I was going through a divorce and how great and relieved I'd feel afterwards.
Anyway I'll try again.
My daughter's boyfriend is visiting from college for his birthday tonight and his mom is having a surprise party for him. I'm a little nervous to see him; because we seem to feed off each other. I don't know, he just makes me cry because I thought he was our salvation, basically.
And now my husband just told me I need to pick him up in Raleigh at 7 am tomorrow morning. I haven't done that drive since taking my daughter to orientation the day before she passed.

oolala53
Posts: 9608
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 11:30 pm

It's okay to cry. A few people might be uncomfortable, but that's on them. Everyone else will understand.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Allisonmeg
Posts: 563
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:27 pm
Location: Oak Ridge, North Carolina

Post by Allisonmeg » Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:21 pm

It's FINALLY time for my 'Summertime Check-in' to be over. I'm starting fresh with a fall check-in. I am getting myself in check and going back to my old method of writing my food down and more of a "just the facts" approach. I just want to come here and think about putting good habits on the forefront, and that also includes EXcluding alcohol. The two of us don't mix anymore. It only makes me scary sad. Bye bye summer, this will be a better fall!

oolala53
Posts: 9608
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:54 pm

Bon voyage!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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