trytrytry check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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trytrytry
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trytrytry check-in

Post by trytrytry » Fri May 02, 2008 4:27 pm

Hi,
I am new to this whole "bussiness", but quite intrigued indeed. I decided to start four days ago and so far no greens on my calendar.
BUT I actually still feel quite proud of myself (huh)
My slip out were:
a square of chocolate on day 1 (otherwise, small balanced three meals)
half a square of chocolate on day 2 (otherwise three balanced meals, eg vegetables only for lunch)
day 3: not that good - piece of cake someone brought for a meeting at work, but healthy meals otherwise (cereal for breakfast, soup for lunch).
day 4 (today): friends birthday, had cake, but tried to make up for it having only yogurt and fruit for lunch.

Conclusion: I am not doing great according to the rules, but I do feel like I am improving and hopefully soom I will be able to add a few green marks on my habitcal. And considering I spent half a day in front of a box of cookies and chocolates - it could have been much worse.

My short term aim: lose 3 kg before June 20. My long term aim: lose 10 kg. My weight: 75.

PS. I am actually realizing that my main problem is snacking (often on sweets). Otherwise I do try to eat healthy meals and I don't tend to go for huge portions, so hopefully this diet should be exactly what I need!
Last edited by trytrytry on Sat May 10, 2008 8:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sat May 03, 2008 12:35 pm

I think it's really cool ho noSing makes you realize where your worst food habits are. On any traditional diet you eat little and feel hungry - which feels expected as "yes of course I am hungry after all I am only eating no carrots and celery".
But on noS it feels a bit different. It is not to say I am not hungry. Between my lunch (12 am) and dinner (7-8 pm) I definitely get hungry. Sometimes also after dinner. But its different: I am eating three normal meals - I shouldn't be hungry really.

And I think it made me realize how much "unconscious" eating I do. A snack here (only a small one) a snack there (a really tiny one) - it adds up. And then I am thinking - but but but but I don't eat that much, why can't I lose weight??? So after my three days (not 100% successful) noS days all these hidden calories come screaming into my face.

Because I so much agree that sweats and snacking is not something our bodies are used to. Not to mention they make it so difficult to keep track of how much we eat.

So I am working on building my habits. Hopefully, Monday will be a green day.

resting52
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Post by resting52 » Sat May 03, 2008 12:52 pm

Welcome to NoS!

I'm pretty new too, just been here about a month and I love it!

I was rather hungry between meals at first. I think that was mostly because my body was used to being fed every 2 hours. I like Reinhard's illustrations of our appetites/ habits being like wild animals or untrained children. They respond better with strictness. They are out of control if we are wishy-washy. Isn't that the truth! If something is given to us as an absolute we are much less likely to ask for exceptions. And, these are such natural, doable absolutes!

I've been seeing this as a gate on my eating behaviors. The gate is shut so I just don't open it-I just don't eat between meals. This has gotten so much easier over the month.

Wishing you well on your NoS journey,

Resting

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sun May 04, 2008 11:30 am

Hi Resting!
Thanks for your message. I definitely agree with you. Once you break the rules once it is more easy to break them again and again without noticing.
I have decided to try to apply the no snacks rule to S days too for now, because once I start I find it hard to stop. Hopefully a nice desert will do the job of making S days special but not out of control.

have a lovely sunday

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Mon May 05, 2008 10:46 am

15 min until lunch! I am starving!!!
I went swimming though and I am looking forward to my lunch!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Mon May 05, 2008 3:31 pm

oh boy, I do hope it gets easier because I am really really hungry.
I somehow don't even feel like snacking, I just wish I could make the hunger go away because it is distracting and annoying :roll:
Maybe I need to make my lunches a bit bigger as I am used to eating a salad or a soup for lunch (which probably doesn't give me more than 300 kcal)... And it's a long time between 12:00 and 8 pm... More protein from tomorrow on!

But I will do it - I am determined to make it my 1st successful Nday - if I can do it once, I can do it twice :wink:

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Mon May 05, 2008 5:39 pm

And it wasn't quite as bad... I had some coffee and by dinner time I was actually ok! It was an early dinner though for me, as I wasn't at work today. Tomorrow might be more tricky...

Amyliz
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Post by Amyliz » Mon May 05, 2008 7:06 pm

welcome!
I felt ravenously hungry in the beginning, but part of the process is figuring out how much to eat AT the meal. I used to eat small lunches knowing i would eat a snack in a few hours. But take every meal as a learning experience.

I've learned, if I'm NOT hungry when i wake up, I either ate too much for dinner, ate too late or both. 5 weeks in, I eat less at meals and I'm less hungry in between, its really amazing.

best of luck!
Amyliz
Amyliz

START: 03/30/08 - 158- 161lbs range
Current: 145-148lbs range
On 12/22/09 I saw 145 on the scale for the first time in 7 years!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Mon May 05, 2008 10:20 pm

Hi Blamey - thanks for encouragement! I guess it is a bit hard to tell in the beginning whether it is your body just used to snacks or whether my portions could indeed be bigger when I cut down on snacks. I've been snacking quite a bit recently, so I am sure my body has gotten quite used to a constant supply of calories ...

But hey - I've made it through my first green day!!! I am quite hungry now, but already in bed so that's it.
So after my 7 days:

successful Ndays: 1
not-a-disaster Ndays: 3 (1 snack)
good Sdays: 2 (1 treat)
bad Sdays: 1 (way too uncontrolled)

some plus sides:
i feel way more in control and even started exercising again

some minus sides:
i was meant to prepare some slides for work for tomorrow but instead every time i sat down in front of the computer i ended up on the discussion board...

So now my another attempt to do some work...
Last edited by trytrytry on Sat May 10, 2008 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by trytrytry » Tue May 06, 2008 6:45 am

1) I feel like I'm trading addiction to food into addition to the discussion groups

2) I can't wait for developing a habit - at the moment, I keep thinking about my next meal. Perhaps even more than normally, since I know I can't have anything till then. I have just had breakfast, so obviously I am not hungry, but already thinking about lunch.
Hope it goes away.
On the plus side - I am not tempted to have something before lunch, I just can't get lunch out of my head.

3)I was walking past a shop with my favourite pastries yesterday and a sneaky thought went through my head: "oh who cares, I'll just have one..." But then I thought: "whatever, I'll have one on the weekend"... yey!

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Post by Amyliz » Tue May 06, 2008 4:44 pm

1) I feel like I'm trading addiction to food into addition to the discussion groups
haha, so funny ... i've had a similar experience. I've never been in discussion groups, or been a blog reader before No-S.
but after 5 weeks, i'm also online less, but i still like the support here.

If you have an addictive personality (which i do), then you're likely to transfer addictions from one thing to another all the time. I still struggle with finding a balance in everything ... but i've learned to choose the least destructive and detrimental addictions :wink:
Amyliz

START: 03/30/08 - 158- 161lbs range
Current: 145-148lbs range
On 12/22/09 I saw 145 on the scale for the first time in 7 years!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Wed May 07, 2008 8:18 am

I couldn't agree more - I only wish I could get addicted to writing my report... or cleaning the house... I wonder if someone told me I can never ever touch any house cleaning products in my house, I would start asking my friends to let me clean their homes...

an update:
1) survived a second green day. It was good. I couldn't stop thinking about food. Out of all the things I was craving apples.

2) I spotted a new big obstacle in my noSing routines - "social eating at work" - people always bring birthday cakes or chocolates and feels almost rude not to take them as everyone does! And with the summer coming - ice cream breaks - it feels unsocial not to join.
How to make it through not becoming rude or unsocial?
I guess I could be open and explain. But for the time being, I would rather do my noSing quietly. Until I know I can do it.

3) I discovered a new type of hunger. It feels like my mouth is just so used to food that it feels really weird when I can't have a snack every now and then (not all my snacks used to be bad, most of them, unfortunately only most of them, used to be fruit or a small yogurt). So it feels like hungry, but it's not from the stomach, not emotional but more like from the tongue. And teeth. My teeth start feeling weird too. A chewing gum helps but how many can you chew?! Maybe I have to start brushing my teeth after lunch...

4) Oh dear, having read point 3, I am thinking - is going slightly mad on the list of side effects???

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Wed May 07, 2008 1:54 pm

And it was close - feeling tired, having period, needing something nice. Desperately. Something like a nice piece of cake.

But then I thought, isn't really going to make me feel better? I took an ibuprofen instead. Spent some time on the sun. Had a skinny cappuccino. Did half an hour of productive work.

And I feel better. Physically, but also emotionally, because I won, yey!!!

resting52
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Post by resting52 » Wed May 07, 2008 2:35 pm

Way To Go!

Resting

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Wed May 07, 2008 2:52 pm

I know - I wish I could engrave that in my brain. Once and for all!

The amazing thing is that it is 4 hours past my lunch and I am not feeling hungry and not feeling like snacking!!! Even though I am working from home today, which means sitting in the kitchen, next to the fridge and if I did snack noone would see!!!

How weird :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Last edited by trytrytry on Sat May 10, 2008 8:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by BrightAngel » Wed May 07, 2008 3:58 pm

trytrytry wrote: I only wish I could get addicted to cleaning the house...
I wonder if someone told me I can never ever touch any house cleaning products in my house,
I would start asking my friends to let me clean their homes...
trytrytry,
Good one.
:lol:
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

noSer
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Post by noSer » Fri May 09, 2008 12:34 am

Try -

Thought you might be interested in this thread on how to deal with 'social eating'

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=2529

Have a great day!
It's more of a waste around the waist than it is in the garbage pail.
Beginning again 04/19
April 2019: 242 :(
July 29, 2019 218.5
Aug 5, 2019 220.5
Oct 28, 2019 205.5
Nov 11, 2019 203

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sat May 10, 2008 9:32 am

noSer - thanks a lot! The thread came really useful yesterday! There was a little party at work and I left it without a single snack! (and weirdly I was standing there not wanting :shock: :shock: :shock: to have a snack)

Day 12 today!

Good news:
- lost about 2 kg (4 lbs) - my weight now: 74.2 kg (163 lbs). Might seem like a lot for a short time(?), but this has actually been my stable weight recently. The 2 kg on top was a post Easter, post stress, post travel bonus.
So now it is going to get slow and tricky. I'll be happy if manage to go down anything more within the next two-three weeks, because that will feel like a real loss.

So yes - I am happy the numbers went down, but I am even more happy about changing my eating habits! And this is really important for me - I like this way of eating. And I have to enjoy something to stick with it, since I am not the type of person with super strong will who will do things because "they are good for you".

I like the fact I choose what I eat as opposed to eating everything I see or only diet food.

I like the fact that I can say NO to food and MEAN IT. That I can seeing chocolate and doesn't equal eating chocolate.

And I really really really really really really really really hope I'll stick with it.
Really really.

And today is an Sday. Still not quite sure what to do with it. I had a treat this morning - one of these little premade tiramisu things - never tried one before. Was nice, but not that great. Now I actually feel like something nice and healthy for lunch. I really don't want this day to turn into a superbinge, because I know I will feel rubbish after that. I don't feel like I'm craving anything really either, but I am worried I will eat things because I can or because I feel like I should on an S day so that I don't have cravings on Ndays.

Try-try

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Post by BrightAngel » Sat May 10, 2008 1:02 pm

trytrytry wrote:I really really really really really really really really hope I'll stick with it.
Really really.

Yes, I hope I can too.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sat May 10, 2008 3:38 pm

Together we're stronger BrightAngel!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sun May 11, 2008 7:56 am

Saturday:
BAD THINGS:
-Yesterday wasn't a good Sday. Too much food. None of it made me feel great, and I feel like enjoyed my N day meals way more. Maybe the ice cream was nice, but then I then it felt like the portion was way to big :( Somehow meals taste better when you eat them on empty stomach, but will I ever learn?
-I came back from an evening with friends and I felt really angry with my self. Not even sure why. Had more food in response.

GOOD THINGS:
-I did have a nice evening. It was a lot of fun.
-I bought a skirt over Easter that I could barely zip up at a time (I don't tend to do that actually, not sure what pushed me). Now it actually fits!!!

Sunday-today:
I feel miserable and I feel like suppressing my emotions with food. I am going to have a tiramisu, I know it won't help, I know I will feel uncomfortable and stuffed afterwards, I know I will feel more miserable. But I am still going to eat it. Why???

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Thu May 15, 2008 8:49 am

I feel hungry I feel sad I feel like I want to stay in bed whole day today and stuff the emptiness I feel inside me with food.

I know I am actually not hungry physically. I know (??) food won't make me happier. But yes - I am so used to making myself feel better with food. And now that I took that away form myself I feel even more empty and I don't know what to fill the holes with.

It sounds really stupid, I know that too.

And so - still sticking, still trying, but slowly losing the strength.

And I will be really sad if I do give up, because I do think noS is great! But I just don't know how to cope with my need for emotional eating...
I'm a silly girl, sometimes.

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Post by OrganicGal » Thu May 15, 2008 12:07 pm

Hi trytrytry...I'm sorry you're feeling down. I understand about the emotional eating. I used to do it all the time...along with boredom eating! I have learned to fill the hole with mostly physical things. I found that exercise...just a nice walk with my discman/mp3 on and after a short while I would start to feel better..or at least feel less. Less angry, less sad, less bored etc.
It takes conscious thought to develop a new habit of doing something other then eating when you're feeling emotional. You could try writing, taking up a new hobby, exercise, talking to a friend...but not about your emotions....that makes them stronger...gives them more power. You could also start a "No Emotional Eating" Habitcal....and each day that you don't eat for emotional reasons, you can check off that green square!

Don't know if this helps, but my thoughts are with you anyway. Hang in there, you're worth it!
Creating and sustaining the No S habits are the only thing that will take me in the direction I want to go!

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Post by BrightAngel » Thu May 15, 2008 1:00 pm

trytrytry wrote:But I just don't know how to cope with my need for emotional eating...
Emotional eating has always been a big problem for me too.
Sure there are many things you can do to help you escape from feelings,
besides eating....BUT
One thing that really helped me...
Somehow, I always thought when I felt bad, I was supposed to make myself feel better.
Despite all opposing knowledge, I felt like I needed to "escape" from them.
Then, one day I realized, trying to escape from them just made them worse,
And created a far worse problem for me.
I realized that the feeling of panic of needing to avoid them was worse than the actual underlying feeling.
I've been learning to just sit with the feelings, and feel and accept them without judgment.
When I do that bad feelings actually leave more quickly.
It's okay to feel bad.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

Writer110
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Post by Writer110 » Fri May 16, 2008 12:27 am

Hello trytrytry, I could have written your posts. I so understand emotional eating.

For me (and maybe others won't think this is helpful or healthy :lol: ) but I find a lot of my eating comes from needing to "tune out" from my life. To completely disconnect. I just get a little overwhelmed and need to check out. For a long time I've used food to do that. Now, I do it with a an afternoon in bed watching a movie with my cats. Or surfing the internet. Or reading a trashy novel. Something that doesn't make me feel like I'm being "put upon" or being productive AT ALL. I know tuning out isn't that healthy and I hope at some point I won't need to do it, but for now if it's between a unproductive night of watching chick flicks with a friend drinking wine as opposed to eating- I'll take the former. :lol:

Moxie

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Fri May 16, 2008 10:12 am

Hi guys - thanks a lot for the support and your strategies!

I did manage not to go on into a huge emotional binge yesterday and considering how tempted I was and the opportunities I had - friend's birthday - lots of cakes, I think I did a an ok job and I am really happy about it.

I have been suppressing a lot of emotions recently and I think they are now starting to come out making me feel a bit helpless and very overwhelmed. But maybe I should just let them out? I guess I haven't figured out yet whether distracting myself or facing the feelings works better for me. And maybe it depends. Sometimes I feel like I need to let myself cry over something to let it go, sometimes, distraction works better because then the negative emotions often do lose their power.

I think I also need to understand that it is ok to do something else instead. I am usually so behind with my work that I think I shouldn't be doing other things because I should be working. So while it is ok to go and have some food because "I am hungry and you can't work when you're hungry" it feels less ok to go for a walk or watch a movie. Which is really stupid, because at the end I end up eating too much and not getting the work done anyway. And feeling even more overwhelmed next day.

So today - whether I get some work done, end up going for a run or watching a movie - first, I am not going to binge. 3 meals. NoS. Second, I am also not going to make myself feel guilty for not being able to control my feelings.

I think, in the long run, it will take a lot to convince my brain that eating will not make me feel better, because it is how it got trained over the years... But maybe it's not a lost case yet!

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Post by OrganicGal » Fri May 16, 2008 11:56 am

It's NOT a lost case trytrytry! It just takes retraining...building a new Habit...and that takes time. Just like learning to stuff your feelings with food took time to learn!
Creating and sustaining the No S habits are the only thing that will take me in the direction I want to go!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sat May 17, 2008 7:05 am

OrganicGal, I'm really hoping it isn't indeed!!! :D

So today is an Sday. And I am planning on being a good girl :wink:. No snacking between meals. No emotional eating. And yes of course - it doesn't mean no treats, hehe. In fact, I had a small croissant with my breakfast already and it felt great.

So remember remember, oh please do remember:
:evil: random snacking does not make me happy
:evil: random snacking makes me feel bloated and full
:evil: if I start random snacking I might not be able to stop
:idea: the next meal is going to taste better if I don't snack in between
:idea: without random snacking I will enjoy treats and not feel guilty about them
:idea: I CAN survive a day without snacking
:idea: I ENJOY more the days when I don't end up stuffed with food
:idea: in the last few days I MANAGED to control my emotional eating on several occasions - I can do it again!!!

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Post by JillyBean » Sat May 17, 2008 1:04 pm

trytrytry wrote: I am usually so behind with my work that I think I shouldn't be doing other things because I should be working. So while it is ok to go and have some food because "I am hungry and you can't work when you're hungry" it feels less ok to go for a walk or watch a movie. Which is really stupid, because at the end I end up eating too much and not getting the work done anyway. And feeling even more overwhelmed next day.

Wow, try, I relate to that. We just need to change our way of thinking about it, IMHO. At least, that's what I'm working on. I am realizing that, while I have turned to food lots of times to avoid things, I have also let my thinking go in the wrong direction quite a bit and even that is a habit I must now break. We know habits take time to break, but we also know they can be broken. Let's hang in here together and prove it! :wink:
Jill

The food I eat today is my choice! What price am I willing to pay?

"There are no failures, only feedback." ~~ Robert Allen

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sun May 18, 2008 10:05 am

Hi Jill - it is crazy how powerful those habits are!!!
I have just finished my breakfast, but because it's an Sday hence the rules are relaxed and because I have to write a couple of e-mails I've been putting off forever, I since had a couple of snacks without really realizing that its the habit kicking in and that I did to avoid the e-mailing rather than anything else!!! :evil:
So I went to brush my teeth, hopefully this way before I reach for a snack, my consciousness will give me a little kick.
But I agree:
We know habits take time to break, but we also know they can be broken.
So definitely - let's prove it! I really like Reinhard concept of retraining your brain!

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Post by blueskighs » Sun May 18, 2008 4:01 pm

I am usually so behind with my work that I think I shouldn't be doing other things because I should be working. So while it is ok to go and have some food because "I am hungry and you can't work when you're hungry" it feels less ok to go for a walk or watch a movie.
hey I recognize this ... It's a been a biggy for me.

CAN'T WORK ... TOO BUSY EATING! :D

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by whitway » Sun May 18, 2008 5:26 pm

so do you all have to reach a certain amount of success or days on the Nos Diet before you can sticky your Daily Check In or how does one go about it?
8)
Thank You,

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sun May 18, 2008 10:06 pm

Hi whitway!
You can edit your signature in your profile settings.

To insert a link you need to type this:
[url=http://address]name of the page[/url]

Hope that helps!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Sun May 18, 2008 11:56 pm

A seriously unacceptable failure to remain civilized on an Sday

What can I say :roll:. Tomorrow is another day...

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Mon May 19, 2008 9:03 am

So yesterday I went all the way into
CAN'T WORK ... TOO BUSY EATING!
and "I feel so sad, I might just keep eating to stop me from thinking".

Blah. Awful blah. Sadly, I can't even put a positive spin on it and say that it taught me something. Maybe it was yet another proof for "It doesn't help!!! It is, in fact, unpleasant!". But at the same time, I feel like every one of those episodes makes my sad=food habit stronger.

Luckily, today is an Nday and hopefully - I will be able to keep it that way!

I am slightly worried that now when I am not eating snacks my meals are becoming bigger and maybe even a bit less healthy :roll:, but maybe it's an adjustment period. And maybe and hopefully, all together it is still more healthy than my pre noS meals plus the random snacks, huh. I guess for now I've got to stick to forming the habit. I'll re-evaluate at the end of the month...

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Tue May 20, 2008 7:25 am

oh boy, oh boy, seems like I'm slowly and steadily... gaining? :roll:
Image
Well, no need to panic yet, I guess, but maybe I have to be more careful about my Sdays. For now I'll try to focus on more exercise - that can't hurt really!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Tue May 20, 2008 10:34 am

Well - I might be slowly steadily gaining weight :?, but... I've just cut an extra notch in my belt! That's two notches down since the start! yey!

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Thu May 22, 2008 12:46 am

FAILURE

I was doing ok until dinner. I did really want some comfort food really badly in the afternoon, but managed to resist it. Then after dinner I went out and slipped. It wouldn't have been too bad. Shared a small dish with a friend. But then I got back home and binged, binged, binged. Crackers, cheese, croissant, chocolate, cake. (It looks like the common pattern is things starting with "c". Maybe it's vitamin c deficiency??? Or cruel carbohydrates' conspiracy...)

I feel very disappointed with myself. Plus I know I will feel rubbish tomorrow. Plus I feel like I ruined all the good efforts of this week. I don't even want to know how many calories I ate... Very sad face :cry:

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Thu May 22, 2008 7:16 am

So there it is:
Now I am feeling heavy and bloated:

Image

and soooooo stupid!!!

[edit 2 h later]
Ok. I have started binging again. It was definitely not a single plate no sweets breakfast. It was more like several breakfasts. And some chocolate. awful. Awful awful women. Why would anyone do it to themselves voluntarily? And to be honest, if someone put a nice piece of cake in front of me 10 min ago, I would have still eaten it. How stupid is that!!!

But that's it. Stop. Enough. I can do it. I will have healthy meals for the rest of the day. I won't mess it up today any more. I hope, somewhere I will find the strength to do it! :cry:

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Post by trytrytry » Thu May 22, 2008 5:56 pm

ok. so it was a noS FAILURE, don't binge FAILURE.

But in some way it was also a SUCCESS.

Normally this is how it goes:

bad emotions = food = = bad emotions = more food = bad emotions = more food = bad emotions = more food =bad emotions = even more food!!!

But I managed to stop. Not quite there at the beginning, somewhere there towards the end, but still.

And I was feeling so miserable, full and bloated that I decided to go to the gym instead of eating more!!! yey! So I did some exercise, went home, had a shower, dressed up nicely so and I feel like a human being again, not like a vacuum cleaner!!!

I think I also have my theory, that it's carbs that trigger my binges. So I am going to try to be a bit careful with them.

The most important thing though: I feel like I'm back on track!

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Post by blueskighs » Thu May 22, 2008 10:35 pm

But I managed to stop
trytrytry,

Please do not underestimate the SIGNIFICANCE of that success!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by trytrytry » Thu May 22, 2008 11:38 pm

Blueskighs,

Thanks - you're very right! Being able to keep going after a failure is probably way more important (and difficult) than just being able to start a new commitment! Hopefully in few weeks I will have less and less "falling off" incidents, but for now I just need to make sure that I don't fall off for good!

Try-try

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Post by BrightAngel » Thu May 22, 2008 11:43 pm

trytrytry wrote:But I managed to stop. Not quite there at the beginning, somewhere there towards the end, but still.

And I was feeling so miserable, full and bloated that I decided to go to the gym instead of eating more!!! yey! So I did some exercise,
Way to GO ! ! !
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Post by rose » Sat May 24, 2008 9:30 am

Hey trytrytry I tried to have a look at your progress chart in your signature but it says "file not found" in it. Also for your habitcal link you have to change the "edit" part to "view" otherwise other people are not able to look at it (it's the address of the "public view" page that everyone can look at).
And congrats on learning to stop binging and distracting yourself from food with exercise!
Started NoS Jan 07 at 74.5kg (164 lbs, BMI 26.7)
Stable since Jan 08 at 64kg (141 lbs, BMI 23)
My progress chart

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Post by trytrytry » Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:23 am

I've not checked-in in ages, but I'm still around, still noSing - actually - I'm finding it hard to believe that I am on day 35 already!!! I didn't really think I'd last that long!

I'm still having way too many red days (and NWS days too). I still sometimes have my emotional eating sessions on those. But I have learnt that the best thing to do after every failure is to get back on track! Sometimes it's easier, sometimes more difficult, but it always feels great to be able to put a green after I succeed!

I'm quite happy with my Ndays, I think my plates are generally reasonable and I don't feel constantly starving in between. It's the Sdays that will need some work, but I decided not to worry about those until I reach the magic 21 on habit.

But the exciting thing is - I am losing!!! About 2.5 kg (5-6 lbs) in 35 days:

SW: fluctuating around 76 kg (167 lbs)
CW: 73.5 kg (162 lbs)
Lowest since I've bought this scale, lowest in a long time!


yey!



Image
(the little red cross, means a "stupid Nday")


Right, back to work. NoS is fantastic!


PS Thanks for the hints rose!

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Post by blueskighs » Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:45 am

trytrytry,

glad to hear from you and glad you are hanging in there.

Congratulations on your SUCCESS AND your PERSEVERANCE!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:02 am

Thanks Blueskighs!!! It's always good to have you around with your support and lovely meal ideas!


This is my post from two days ago that never got posted...
new goals.

I feel like having little goals makes me more motivated. So these are some scale and habit goals for the next three months. It might look like I am making things more complicated, than they should be, but each of these goals taken individually is quite simple, though might sound ridiculous.

I know I should probably focus more on habit goals as opposed to scale goals, but I think my scale goals are not unreasonable and they make me motivated to make healthier food choices and have smaller food portions. Also, hopefully, they will help me not to be frustrated about not losing fast enough, as I've tried to make them fit in with the slow weight loss pattern. So they're simply meant as an additional motivation to prevent laziness and (whenever I can and have time) try to make my meals healthy and interesting.


So anyways, these are my NoS goals:
- Have 21 consequtive SUCCESS days by June 22nd.
- Have no red days before June 22nd.
- Before June 22nd to have at least 4 additional scale measurements in 72.x range.

End of June:
- On my week long work related trip, have max 2 NWS
- During my holiday 1, take it easy, but try to stick to 3 meals and treats as opposed to constant eating. Try to have at least one N day.
- holiday 2 will be 1 NWS and the weekend anyway. Won’t try, as it will only make me frustrated – I'm meeting up with friends and I know we’ll snack and eat sweets. So the goal is: don't be an idiot.

- By the end of July, see the number 71.x at least once.
- Have at least one NO SCALE week in July.

- By the end of August, see numbers 70.x at least five times.
- By the end of August, have a 14 day average comfortably in 71.
- Make the 1st half of August SCALE FREE!

And this is my most important goal:
I would like to start feeling comfortable about my appearance. I know I don’t look amazing, but I don’t think it is reason to feel self-conscious. If I can feel comfortable with my far from great looks and in my room, why can't I also feel comfortable among people? Stupid social pressure to be pretty, lean and extra thin!

So that's it. I am not going to try to focus on any of the above too much, but it's my little test - if they help, that's great, if they make me frustrated, they go to the bin and I am going to enjoy my habit forming.

Still noSing, loving it more and more every day.

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Post by trytrytry » Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:01 pm

It is really weird but in some ways I think like I'm losing a friend - it used to be so often I would turn to food when feeling lonely, sad, tired or upset. And in some ways it was consolation. This few minutes of pleasure. An immediate gratification.

And now, I haven't lost an impuls, but it no longer appeals. Even today on an S day, I feel like my head would like to spend an evening in front of tv watching cheesy movies and eating ice cream. And it wouldn't even give me one of these ugly little red squares. And there is one of my favorite flavors sitting in the freezer for over 2 weeks unopened. But my body says no, my body says, it's not worth it, you had your treats today, you had a nice dinner, you'll feel full and bloated, icky yacky, it isn't going to work... So I'm sitting here, listening to my body and feeling sad. Sad because in some ways I was looking forward to it, to my little consolation, instant gratification. But at the same time I don't really want it...

Maybe it is a day off or maybe it the noS magic. I'd like to hope in the latter, but years of "friendship" make me skeptical that it could go away in 45 days of noSing. So maybe it is just a little step forward towards a healthy relationship with food. A little step towards a huge change. And although I am amazed and surprised by this change, somehow I feel as if someone stole something from me. It's a bit as if someone stole a toy I could have hurt myself with... So I am grateful, but then not quite sure what to play with instead...

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Post by blueskighs » Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:20 am

It is really weird but in some ways I think like I'm losing a friend
trytrytry,

I really relate to the sadness you are talking about
So I'm sitting here, listening to my body and feeling sad. Sad because in some ways I was looking forward to it, to my little consolation, instant gratification. But at the same time I don't really want it...
of the last few weeks, that sadness has been kind of weaving in and out of my life in odd moments, but yes sometimes i feel just completley sad :cry: because this thing that has been part of my life for a very long time is gone... i suspect it is just the greiving process, i suppose we greive things that we lose that are "unhealthy" as much as anything else, because they are after all a "loss",

I suspect in time "this too shall pass" but in the meantime I guess I'll just be "sitting with" these moments and kind of marveling at them when they come up,

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by trytrytry » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:23 pm

I quick update after I've been quietly noSing away from home.
Day 71.
Lost so far: 3.6 kg = 8 lbs! (BMI from 25.4 to 24.2)
And I've cut a new notch in my belt too! That's down 4 notches!
And I'm no longer struggling between the meals! I still sometimes fancy something sweet, when I feel tired or bored, but I'm no longer tempted enough to actually go for it.
And I'm loving it!
Last time I was away for two weeks I gained so much. This time I lost and I didn't even feel deprived!
It is all so truly amazing! I still can't believe it's happening. I still can't believe I'm losing. I still can't believe I'm sticking to something that's good for me for so long!!!

_____________________________________________________
And an update on my funny goals:
- Have 21 consequtive SUCCESS days by June 22nd. SUCCESS!!!
- Have no red days before June 22nd. SUCCESS!!!
- Before June 22nd to have at least 4 additional scale measurements in 72.x range. didn't happen and I'm and not worried about it, especially as I already saw 71.x once on the scale - it's coming!!!

End of June:
- On my week long work related trip, have max 2 NWS SUCCESS!!!
- During my holiday 1, take it easy, but try to stick to 3 meals and treats as opposed to constant eating. Try to have at least one N day. SUCCESS!!!
- holiday 2 will be 1 NWS and the weekend anyway. Won’t try, as it will only make me frustrated – I'm meeting up with friends and I know we’ll snack and eat sweets. So the goal is: don't be an idiot. SUCCESS!!!

- By the end of July, see the number 71.x at least once. SUCCESS!!!
- Have at least one NO SCALE week in July.

- By the end of August, see numbers 70.x at least five times.
- By the end of August, have a 14 day average comfortably in 71.
- Make the 1st half of August SCALE FREE!

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Post by blueskighs » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:37 pm

trytrytry,

good to hear from you and glad to know that things are going well! No S is pretty good stuff!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

trytrytry
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Post by trytrytry » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:09 pm

If it wasn't for noS, I would be having now a second piece of cake today, some cookies (and a muffin?) yesterday and lots of chocolate on Wednesday (maybe some cake too).

Instead I'm having a glass of water and a coffee, and another green day. But I am really, really struggling.

I'm not struggling, because I want that piece of cake really badly. I'm struggling because I'm stressed really badly and having a piece of cake would be my ten comforting minutes of distraction (woohoo for procrastination!).

I really don't know why food has such a comforting value for me. I don't think I ever realized to what extend my overeating problems are psychological. How strong my psychological relationship with food is. And unfortunately - is not was, as the impulse to seek for comfort in food is not gone. Thanks to noS though, I am able to resist it.

So for the n-th time my tribute to noS and no snacks in particular. Because there isn't a better explanation for my excessive weight than the calories of all the things I would have eaten when I was stressed, tired or bored in those last ten weeks. The things that I resisted and thanks to that, I'm already down by 3-4 kg.

And I only wonder, whether one day I will be free from those impulses too.

PS. hehe, and this is how with a bit of daily check-in board, I managed to have my 10 min of procrastination without having the cake ;)

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Post by BrightAngel » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:15 pm

trytrytry wrote:hehe, and this is how with a bit of daily check-in board, I managed to have my 10 min of procrastination without having the cake ;)
Good Plan. :D
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Post by trytrytry » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:21 pm

One more funny thing I realized though is that I have to deal with every of those triggers separately.
When I was starting noS, I was feeling really down. With a lot of struggling, gradually I managed to overcome/decrease my urge to eat when feeling down. With every new situation though, I feels like I'm starting from the beginning. Now that I feel really stressed about work, I have to learn to overcome my "have some chocolate impulse - it will give you some energy to work". Knowing I dealt with eating as a response to feeling down, I feel stronger to deal with eating as a response to work related stress, but it does feel like a whole new lesson.
I guess all I'm saying is that there are a lot of different emotions and situations I associate with eating and each one of them requires different solution to the problem. For some of them finding those solutions was relatively easy, but for some of them I feel like I need to find a really good replacement, so that I'm able to built a new strong habit that doesn't make me gain weight.

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Post by blueskighs » Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:25 pm

Thanks to noS though, I am able to resist it.
trytrytry, that is what I have found too, that thanks to No S I can resist. At this point, and I can't believe I am saying this, after 3 1/2 months, my N days have become pretty much effortless. That being said I suppose "unconsciously" I have had to develop other ways to destress myself.
Knowing I dealt with eating as a response to feeling down, I feel stronger to deal with eating as a response to work related stress, but it does feel like a whole new lesson.
I also found there was boredom eating, tired eating, excited eating, angry eating, overwhelmed eating, resentment eating ... blah blah blah you get the idea, but I love how you point out that once you kind of get through one, it gives you just that much more strenght and resolve to get through the next one!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by trytrytry » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:47 am

I had an awful day eating-wise yesterday. Fell into my old trap - non-stop eating triggered by overeating.
When I was starting noSing I used to have this problem that once I overate, I just couldn't stop eating. Then - dreading the "after" moments - I developed this fear of overeating and started being really careful not to overeat. And funny enough - I must have become a habit, because I simply forgot all about it.
Yesterday, I bought myself a piece of cake on the way to work - it turned out to be too heavy for my stomach to cope with, so although it was lovely I felt a bit yuckie after I finished (should have stopped earlier, I know, I know). So then in response, I just ate and ate and ate and ate... And only later in the evening something clicked in my empty head -
"ha! remember?: http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic ... ght=#39129"
when I get myself uncomfortably stuffed (including the stomach ache!) that's when I can't stop eating I really don't quite get it, but I've done it several times. It's like once I'm past the limit, there are no more limits...
And so I am back on track - I did have all these thoughts yesterday to keep today as an Nday, eat only fruit or some other rubbish ideas, but no punishing! I'm just going to get back to normal noSing and try not to be an idiot. I think the fact that I recognized the trigger, realized it is something I learnt to deal with in the past is also helping me to overcome the guilt feeling, which would no doubt lead to another binge today. So we'll see...

On the positive side though - the day yesterday reminded me one of the reasons why I am doing this: because feeling bloated and soooo full is sooooo unpleasant.
On the exciting side: I actually forgot how unpleasant it was, which can only mean one of the two things: 1) my eating habits are getting so much better after ten weeks of noSing, or 2) noSing makes me lose my memory!!! :wink:
Last edited by trytrytry on Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by trytrytry » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:54 am

blueskighs wrote: I also found there was boredom eating, tired eating, excited eating, angry eating, overwhelmed eating, resentment eating ... blah blah blah Blueskighs
Hi Blueskights, I've been definitely going through all of those... I think for some of them, coping has become almost effortless for me as well , for others, I am still struggling a little... But I've accepted it be a long process - after all - it took me my whole life to acquire all those habits...
have a good day!

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Post by JillyBean » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:13 pm

trytrytry wrote:
On the positive side though - the day yesterday reminded me one of the reasons why I am doing this: because feeling bloated and soooo full is sooooo unpleasant.
On the exciting side: I actually forgot how unpleasant it was, which can only mean one of the two things: 1) my eating habits are getting so much better after ten weeks of noSing, or 2) noSing makes me lose my memory!!! :wink:
Good news, try! (All except about the memory loss... That I can do very well No-S-ing or not, thank you very much! :-)
Jill

The food I eat today is my choice! What price am I willing to pay?

"There are no failures, only feedback." ~~ Robert Allen

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Post by laptop-girl » Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:12 pm

trytrytry wrote: Yesterday, I bought myself a piece of cake on the way to work - it turned out to be too heavy for my stomach to cope with, so although it was lovely I felt a bit yuckie after I finished (should have stopped earlier, I know, I know). So then in response, I just ate and ate and ate and ate...
I do the same thing -- totally -- stupid, isn't it?
Someone once referred to this as 'turning on the eating machine" which is funny.

Good that you recognize it as a behavior you want to stop.

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Post by blueskighs » Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:07 pm

'turning on the eating machine"
lap-top girl,
I like that!
it really says it well!

Bluekighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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100 days up 10 lbs down

Post by trytrytry » Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:15 am

Day 108 update

Total Ndays 60
Sdays 38
Failures 8

Weight -4.5 kg (10 lbs)

BMI from 25.4 to 23.8

Image

I've been definitely having too many Sdays. But still, I've lost 4.5 kg - even without too intensive exercise, just trying to move a bit more. I do find it truly amazing (and a little surprising?) that just by cutting down on snacks (only five days a week!!!) I could loose that much. And quite revealing that I can in fact eat like a normal person and look like a normal person. That I don't have to deprive myself of all the things I like or exercise like crazy if I want to be thinner.

So one thing to remember: little steps can take you really far - just with a bit of patience. And no, you don't even need perfect feet to get there.

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Post by blueskighs » Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:27 pm

little steps can take you really far - just with a bit of patience. And no, you don't even need perfect feet to get there.

trytrytry

HEAR! HEAR! Very Well Said! I am finding this true, my messy S days are apparently balanced out by my consistency with my N days ....
WHO KNEW????

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www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Stop self-destruction!!!

Post by trytrytry » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:22 pm

And so it has been six months...

I've been meaning to check-in for a while, just to say I was doing well, noSing, exercising, feeling a bit more fit and thinner. Lots of people noticed that I have lost weight too and got interested in noS. I felt in control. Well, I felt in control on N days, my S days were not that good... I caught myself thinking - "if it wasn't for S days the scale would keep dropping"; then realized if it wasn't for S days, then I would have fallen off the wagon a long time ago.

So I've been meaning to check-in for a while, but kept wating for some milestone, like I dropped another x pounds or I bought size smaller jeans or I've been noSing for 6 months...

So today it actually is 6 months. Exactly six months and I should be feeling good. But in fact, it is not why I am checking in. In fact, I didn't realize that it has been six months until I started writing this post.

The reason why I decided to check in because it is still before lunch and I have eaten enough food already to make lunch dinner and a couple of desserts. Because it is a FAILURE day now, because yesterday was a FAILURE day and because Friday was a FAILURE day as well. Because it is my 6th failure this month, and because I have not been able to stop eating junk since Thursday.

I even thought to give it all up and spend the rest of my life hidden in my room eating. I thought if I hide under my duvet then it doesn't even matter that I will keep growing in size - after all, pyjamas tend to be a forgiving piece of clothing. And noone would know!!!

But then I realized there was a problem. I would still have to go and buy food. I mean, even if I bought huge supplies at one go, it would run out at some point. Plus it would mean no ice-cream (well - unless I bought a little freezer for my room too, but then again, they tend to be really loud and there isn't really that much space in there left... So ok, maybe I could live without ice cream, but I would still have to shop every now and then and what if I meet someone when I go shopping? Plus - what will I wear once I stop fitting into my jeans?

So then I thought - online shopping!!!

And then I thought - but what if they arrive when my housemates are around? Or if I need to use the bathroom before they leave the house for work? They whole idea of hiding in my room allows for food, duvet, movies, maybe an occasional phone call just so that people know that I am doing well and noone is worried about me, but deifnitely, definitely no other human contact.

And this is where I got stuck.



Right then. So here is my problem: I am scared. I am scared beyond reason. I am scared I am going to fail at my job. I am scared I will dissapoint people. I am scared of being lonely. I am scared that even if I am fit and thin, I will still be alone. And no - maybe I don't think that this is the reason why I am alone, but sure it feels like a good excuse. It gives me hope - maybe if I lose weight someone will finally like me?

But then what if they don't??? What if I start feeling good about myself, but I still don't find someone willing to put up with me? I was actually starting to feel good about myself. And it freaked me out too. Because I started feeling the pressure. Because I was losing my excuse of being alone for all those years. Because I would have to find a different explanation and if I didn't, then would I have to abandon my hope completely...?

And same goes for my work - while I keep eating, I can't be working. What if I actually stop eating and start working? What if I stop eating, start working, but I am still not able to go through the whole task? What if I fail?

So yes - I am scared. So scared of failing that a big part of me wants to run away. Run away from noSing, because what it I stick to the habits and start gaining weight again? What if I lose weight and realize that it doesn't solve ALL my problems? Run away from meeting new people, because what if I still don't meet anyone who could like me? Run away from friends, because what if for some random reason I lose them? Run away from work, because, what if I work hard, but don't achieve my goals?

Only those are losers that don't try, right? Maybe. But you should only try if you want something, if you care, right? So if I don't want anything and don't try, then I can't be a loser, can I? So if I choose not to want anything, if I choose to run away from my life - what am I then?

It is work that triggered my crisis. I have a big deadline coming up and I am scared. I am scared to disappoint people. I am so scared of failing that I find myself unable to give it a go. My life will change a lot in a couple of months too and I am really scared of that as well. I will have to start it all over again.

So that fear is now spilling into all the other areas of my life.



So this is why I ended up finally checking in.

I am checking in because I am not going to give up noS. Because what is great about noS is that I don't need to start all over again. I didn't fail in noSing. I had a couple of red days. But I still have my 182 days of noSing behind me and I am not willing to put them in the bin. So what if out of those 182 days, 15 are FAILURES? I still have 103 days on habit. I have 103 days of SUCCESS.

I had some rough days with my work. I had a really small and insignificant slip up and I let it discourage me completely. I started freaking out and spent the last few days avoiding work just in case it turns out I can't do it.

So I need to learn to accept my slip ups. I need to stop running away just because I am scared. And hence - I am checking in to report that I am still on track. And I will have a green day tomorrow.

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Re: Stop self-destruction!!!

Post by BrightAngel » Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:24 pm

trytrytry wrote: So here is my problem: I am scared.
I am scared beyond reason.
You are acknowledging and feeling your feelings.
Good for you.

Fear is unpleasant, but it is just a feeling.
It's a feeling that everyone has.
All feelings pass.
They come and go throughout our lives and our job is just to Feel them, Accept them, and let them pass.

Here is the problem: Everywhere I go, Whatever I do, I'm there too.

Here is the solution:
I am Enough. I am perfect just as I am.
You are Enough. You are perfect just as you are.

All of us are ultimately alone with ourseves...
...no matter what the job or the relationships.
Learning to love and accept ourselves as our Best Friend is a tough job,
but it is the most worthwhile Goal we could ever strive for.

So, be afraid, but continue to involve yourself in your life as best you can.
The fear will pass. Good feelings will come. Fear will Return. Good feelings will return.

"The Universe is Unfolding just as it should"
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Post by blueskighs » Tue Oct 28, 2008 4:56 pm

I caught myself thinking - "if it wasn't for S days the scale would keep dropping"; then realized if it wasn't for S days, then I would have fallen off the wagon a long time ago.

trytrytry,
I have always loved your posts and your AMAZING and INCISIVE insights! the quote I pulled from your post is right on the money. It is so critical ... I love the TRUTH.

As far as what you are going through, you are speaking about fear of failure at your job but in a broader sense "social failure". One of the big breaththroughs I had when I was doing shrink yourself this past winter is that I am not as social a person as I thought I was. Invariably I would lose weight ... and yes ... SIGH ... it does seem to be that people want to be around us more when we are thin, anyway ... i would lose weight people would bombard me with need, desire, and just plain old friendliness I suppose and I would eat and withdraw ... what was happening unconsciously was I actually wanted to withdraw ... and was using food to do it. Now that I am more aware of that I can use things other than food/eating/gaining weight to withdraw socially/disconnect/get that damn private time which is so necessary for me.

We are not all social butterflies ... even though when I am thin too many people flutter around me I have learned the skills to set my own boundaries, and I have developed a profound acceptance that I am just a very private person and THAT reality doesn't change when I am slender ... WHEW! what a releif! Talk about taking the pressure off, and like sweets ... my social interactions are more measured and deliberate and I ENJOY them so much more now!

HANG IN THERE and figure out what all this means for you, you will get there and it will help you stick with NO S in the long run,

YOU ARE POSITIVELY GREAT! IT is so good to hear from you,
Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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