Orderly Eating: The Path to Naturally Thin
(last revised: July 1, 2010)
"Order is Heav'n's first law." - Alexander Pope
It was hard to figure out a diet that was easy to follow. It was really, really hard. I had a lot of advice along the way, and I did a lot of research and personal experimentation along the way until I got to this point: the point when I can describe my dieting history and how I developed what isn't so much a diet as it is a habit of orderly eating.
Both my husband and my father are strong and vocal advocates of the “portion control†approach to losing weight. My husband tends to preach “eat less, exercise moreâ€, and my father drills into me the message: “You cannot deny Newton’s First Law of Thermodynamics.†I’m no scientist, but I am confident that what my father means is that calories you ingest either get expended or stored as fat. He believes strongly in eating lots of carrots and celery to keep appetite at bay. I do not deny the science of weight loss, but I think that an approach involving constant “portion control†or restrictions on types of food that can be eaten results in a constant feeling of deprivation.
I understand the problem of dieting very well because my father hounded me to lose weight when I was 17, 5’6 ½â€, and all of 132 pounds. That was spring of my senior year of high school. By the time I started college that fall, I was down to 117. By the end of freshman year, I was closing in on 150. By the end of college, I weighed 165. Over the next several years, I managed to return to 132 with a great deal of difficulty and effort. I lost weight five pounds at a time, by counting 1,000 calories per day for nine days and then taking a month to maintain that five pound loss. Once I lost the weight, I’d go on that same diet when my weight would drift higher. I called this diet The Novena Diet for the nine day prayers that are traditional in the Catholic faith.
When I was 34, I got pregnant with our first child. It was a time when I could not restrict my eating with The Novena Diet approach, and I gained a lot of weight. After the first and second children, I got down to 150. After the third, I never got below 170. After the fourth, I got down to 155. That was in the beginning of 2002. There was one memorable day in January, 2002, when I just could not stop eating. By September of 2002, at age 43, I got above 180. Whenever I went back to The Novena Diet approach, I’d fail. I didn’t know why, but my body simply revolted against any sort of restrictive eating. It reminded me of the time I was about 10 years old and my younger brother held me underwater. He wasn’t trying to drown me. We were just playing around in the water. My body took over, however, and I was amazed at my strength in getting to the surface of the water. With being held under water, a survival mechanism was triggered which resulted in my pushing my way to the surface of the water. With dieting, a survival mechanism seemed to be triggered which led to binge eating.
In January, 2004, still careening from one diet approach to another, I observed my then nine year old daughter come home from school and rush to the kitchen to have a snack. She was totally focused on eating as quickly as possible. I saw the potential right then and there for her to follow my path of restrictive eating and diet collapse. Since then, I have kept a journal and done research on dieting and weight management.
Early in my research, I read a book that was published in 2005 called The Obesity Epidemic: Science, Morality and Ideology by Michael Gard and Jan Wright. This description from page 10 motivated me to find a diet that was easy no matter how slowly I lost weight:
“Even the most motivated of patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological trains with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet.â€
I certainly could appreciate the truth in that description of people being “deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal could not assuage.†I kept trying to lose weight, and I kept experiencing what is called “diet backlash†in the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Most diets are based on a philosophy of “denyâ€, and I felt like I was starving all the time even though I became obese from the binge eating that ended my diets.
The Intuitive Eating approach was intriguing to me, and I started following it on 12/15/07 at a weight of 205 pounds. The idea is that you give yourself “unconditional permission to eatâ€. Your body cannot distinguish between a self-imposed diet and starvation, so it has a response of bingeing. After a period of time of giving yourself “unconditional permission to eatâ€, you eat less because you aren’t recovering from starvation, and you learn to delay eating until you are hungry.
My kids nicknamed the diet The Peanut Cluster Diet because I gave myself “unconditional permission to eat†what I had denied myself for years and years. The diet became for me what my husband accurately observed as a “feeding frenzy.†Even after I calmed down somewhat after a few months, it was remarkable how I could deceive myself about whether or not I was hungry.
In April of 2008, I read the book Food Fight by Kelly Brownell. Dr. Brownell is Director of Yale University's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity. The argument of his book is that the environment is causing the obesity epidemic, and so the solution is to use governmental regulation to change the environment. I remember the exact moment I was reading that book when I thought -- hmm -- I wonder if the problem isn't a change in the environment so much as it is a change in the philosophy of eating. After that, I decided to start reading books that were not written in the prior fifty years. I looked up Shakespeare's references to hunger and delved into Aristotle's Ethics even as I continued with the Intuitive Eating approach.
By the summer of 2008, I tried to address the problem of self-deception regarding whether or not I was hungry by modifying the Intuitive Eating approach to The Hunger Satisfaction Diet, which is very similar to a Christian-based diet called The Weigh-Down Diet by Gwen Shamblin. With this approach, I only ate after my stomach growled.
Here is a journal entry from August 4, 2008:
"6:52 PM: In less than one hour, I ate an entire bowl of popcorn, a cup of ice cream, ½ peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cup of milk, several crackers with peanut butter, rice, chicken, and vegetables. By the time I started to eat dinner at about 6:30 PM, I had already eaten probably more than 1,000 calories. I started typing the prior entry at 5:58 PM. What happened? I don’t know. I really don’t know. There seems to be some sort of trigger to binge eat if I experience any hunger. Why? Again, I don’t know why."
This was a description of a binge that took place between 5:58 PM and 6:52 PM: I ate all that food in less than an hour, and I had no idea why.
I ended up concluding that I could never be certain when my stomach would growl next so I would binge eat whenever it made a noise. My son quipped once that a stomach makes noises when it’s groaning while trying to digest the food packed into it. I was miserable. To this day, I think that was my worst diet ever.
During the summer, my sister in law had mentioned a diet called The No S Diet. I started reading about it on Amazon after my sister in law mentioned the diet again during Labor Day weekend, and I had a “lightbulb moment†when I realized that this diet has a philosophy of “delay†based on mealtime and day of week rather than a philosophy of “delay†based on internal hunger signals which can be easily misinterpreted. Ever since I read the Kelly Brownell book in April of that year, I had been looking for an approach with a traditional philosophy of eating, and this diet looked like it had potential. Instead of relying on internal hunger signals, which are rarely mentioned in philosophy or literature, there is an emphasis on the social aspect of eating. With its emphasis on eating at meals, this diet looked like it had potential for relieving me of the burden of rating my hunger or even paying attention to my hunger.
I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08 at 215 pounds, just a few days after peaking in weight at 216 pounds on 9/4/08. I modified it significantly over time, although I kept the basic philosophy of “delay†based on mealtime. I found that the approach has brought order to the unpredictable and disordered cycle of starving and bingeing which was brought on by conventional diets. It eliminated the chaos of eating only when hungry and always belly-gazing to rate hunger levels. Instead, there is a predictable and orderly approach to eating, nearly all of it at mealtime. For me, the biggest benefit of this approach is that I no longer even think about food between meals.
I call this approach Orderly Eating. It is a simple approach which is easy for me to follow and which I think I can follow for life. It mitigates the harm from the disordered eating that is normal in this society. In my Orderly Eating approach, there is a rhythm of eating:
- Normal Days: These are all days of the week except Fast Days and Feast Days. On these days, I can have three meals per day with no "portion control". There is no "portion control" at those meals since a "portion control" approach seems to trigger binge eating for me. I can have as much as I want of anything except sweets, but everything must be before me before I take one bite. Outside of mealtime, I can have liquids like orange juice or milk or even sugared pop but not semi-solid foods like frozen orange juice or smoothies.
- Fast Days: On Fast Days, which are only on Fridays, I have one meal: dinner. For that one meal, I have everything before me before I take one bite. I do not have any sweets at that meal. Between dinner the night before the Fast Day and dinner on the day of the Fast, I have nothing but water, tea or other non caloric beverages or diet pop. When I fast, I add one to the balance of Feast Days. I do not need to fast on Fridays. If I do, I earn a Feast Day. If I don't fast, I don't earn a Feast Day.
- Feast Days: I can have one Feast Day for each Fast Day that I take. These Feast Days can be used by me for any reason I want, and they accumulate to the next month if not used. On these days, I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want all day long. It's the dieter's dream. It is possible to have a Fast Day (no food from after dinner on Thursday to dinner on Friday) and a Feast Day (dessert and eating after dinner on Friday) on the same Friday.
I follow this rhythm of eating with “perfect compliance†which is a term taken from a book that I cannot locate. To me, it is extremely important to follow this diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I would liken the importance of this for dieting to the importance of being faithful in marriage. There is just no middle ground. I took an idea from The Teaching Company course on Aristotle’s Ethics taught by Father Joseph Koterski of Fordham University. He distinguished between habits that require thought and ones that don’t. Habits that don’t are those that are followed automatically and absolutely consistently. For example, I have a habit of brushing my teeth every morning and evening. I do not ask myself each morning and evening whether or not I should brush my teeth. Instead, I just do it automatically because I brush my teeth every morning and evening. What I wanted for weight management was a diet that doesn’t require a lot of thought, and I think the way to do this is to follow the diet with “perfect complianceâ€.
In addition to having a habit of orderly eating, I am working on an exercise program. I was convinced of the importance of exercise because of a book called Move a Little, Lose a Lot by Dr. James Levine.
I believe this approach works because I have learned to tolerate hunger. In particular, my Fast Days confirm for me that hunger is not a crises and hunger is not unbearably painful. One reason why I can tolerate hunger so easily is because I can look forward to the next meal when I can be fully satisfied -- and even stuffed! There is a term I’ve heard called “contrast effectâ€, and what it means is that you enjoy what is limited. I enjoy my meals even more because the Fast Days allow me to appreciate how little I need to eat.
This diet does require ptience. “Patience is a virtue.†The weight loss may be slow, but it is permanent, and the diet is simple and easy. It brings order to my life so that I can focus on our family and not on food.
The Blessings of Simplicity
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Yes, essential would make sense, since your not truly fasting by no calories, but, like I stated earlier there are so many different types of fasting. Just do what works best for you. I think your doing a great job.
Denise
restart No S on 4/1 at 132#
goal is 120-123# doing vanilla NoS with Eat Stop Eat on Monday.
restart No S on 4/1 at 132#
goal is 120-123# doing vanilla NoS with Eat Stop Eat on Monday.
June, 2010
Starting Number of Exception Days = 2 (Carryover)
+ 4 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 4.
The following is a list of weights from the current month:
Day 632 – Tuesday, June 1, 2010: 201.6
Day 633 – Wednesday, June 2, 2010: 201.2
Day 632 – Tuesday, June 1, 2010, 5:30 AM: 201.6. It's hard to see a weight above 200 yet again, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this fasting approach. I really overate on Sunday, but I found myself questioning portion size on Saturday and Monday, something I normally don't do. Did I really want a full Subway sub, or would I prefer a half sub? I ended up with the half sub. It wasn't my internal police telling me I should have a half Sub. Instead, I was honestly answering, "How much do I want?" Fasting is giving me insight into how much I want in order to feel my best.
4 PM: I had a light lunch, and it occurred to me that the real value in fasting is that I will enjoy being light. It's been years and years since a feeling of lightness hasn't been interpreted by me as the beginning of hunger which would end my diet. I became fearful of the experience of hunger. I am thinking that fasting one day per week will be enough in the long run, but I think I'll take the summer to kick-start relearning to enjoy the experience of hunger. I wish there was a more positive word for hunger. It's a physical sensation. It's an emptiness, a lightness. It's downright pleasant. I am looking forward to my Fast Day tomorrow.
10 PM: I had an early dinner because a child had soccer practice, and now I'm already 4 1/2 hours into my fast. It's not all that different from The No S Diet, since I no longer eat after dinner anyway. There is a sense of panic that is significantly muted from my days of calorie counting. I don't have to eat anything. I don't have to measure out anything. All I need to do is refrain from eating food until dinner when I can eat as much as I want. This is easy.
Day 633 – Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 6 AM: 201.2. It's a Fast Day, and I already feel hungry. What will get me through the day is the knowledge that I can eat as much as I want tonight. I'll have an early dinner because there is a swim team celebration at 6 PM, so I'll eat about 23 1/2 hours into the fast. That's OK. I'm really making this a dinner to dinner fast rather than a 24 hour fast. I can delay eating because of my commitment to allow myself to eat as much as I want when I do eat. That's also why I think I need to fast. Because I eat as much as I want when I do eat, the amount I eat at each meal carries me over to the next meal without any experience of hunger. I need to experience hunger in order to lose weight. Intermittent hunger is a lot easier to tolerate than is the never ending hunger of conventional diets. This is why I think intermittent fasting is necessary for me.
The question remains: how many times per week do I fast? In the Greek Orthodox religion, men tend to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, and women tend to fast on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I decided to start with two fasts per week and then adjust at the end of the summer. I think I'll stick with two fasts at minimum until I am at an acceptable fast. It may be that only one fast per week is necessary because I learn that mild hunger is pleasant, and all I need is a once per week reminder of that fact. It may be that three fast per week are necessary. I simply don't know. This is an experiment.
2 PM: Fasting is not a problem at all. My stomach growled at 1:12 PM, and I simply made note of it. I can't really say that I'm all that hungry or even that my attention is on food. My 16 year old wants to reorganize the foyer closet, so we went out to get storage buckets for the project. I'm much more interested in that! This is a good sign.
5 PM: I'm about to eat dinner, which means I lasted 23 1/2 hours. I have to pick up kids at 5:30 and drop off at 6, so this is when I can eat. It wasn't too bad to go without food for this length of time. In fact, it reminds me of how I felt in no longer having snacks. I just learned to tune out food.
9 PM: Now I feel grumpy. There were months in the early days of The No S Diet when Thursday night was my grumpy night because I had an entire day to go yet before I could eat what I wanted. Back then, I don't think I could have managed going without food for 24 hours. I think I can get used to this, and I think the results will be positive, but it remains to be seen. This is an experiment. This is not a commitment.
Starting Number of Exception Days = 2 (Carryover)
+ 4 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 4.
The following is a list of weights from the current month:
Day 632 – Tuesday, June 1, 2010: 201.6
Day 633 – Wednesday, June 2, 2010: 201.2
Day 632 – Tuesday, June 1, 2010, 5:30 AM: 201.6. It's hard to see a weight above 200 yet again, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this fasting approach. I really overate on Sunday, but I found myself questioning portion size on Saturday and Monday, something I normally don't do. Did I really want a full Subway sub, or would I prefer a half sub? I ended up with the half sub. It wasn't my internal police telling me I should have a half Sub. Instead, I was honestly answering, "How much do I want?" Fasting is giving me insight into how much I want in order to feel my best.
4 PM: I had a light lunch, and it occurred to me that the real value in fasting is that I will enjoy being light. It's been years and years since a feeling of lightness hasn't been interpreted by me as the beginning of hunger which would end my diet. I became fearful of the experience of hunger. I am thinking that fasting one day per week will be enough in the long run, but I think I'll take the summer to kick-start relearning to enjoy the experience of hunger. I wish there was a more positive word for hunger. It's a physical sensation. It's an emptiness, a lightness. It's downright pleasant. I am looking forward to my Fast Day tomorrow.
10 PM: I had an early dinner because a child had soccer practice, and now I'm already 4 1/2 hours into my fast. It's not all that different from The No S Diet, since I no longer eat after dinner anyway. There is a sense of panic that is significantly muted from my days of calorie counting. I don't have to eat anything. I don't have to measure out anything. All I need to do is refrain from eating food until dinner when I can eat as much as I want. This is easy.
Day 633 – Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 6 AM: 201.2. It's a Fast Day, and I already feel hungry. What will get me through the day is the knowledge that I can eat as much as I want tonight. I'll have an early dinner because there is a swim team celebration at 6 PM, so I'll eat about 23 1/2 hours into the fast. That's OK. I'm really making this a dinner to dinner fast rather than a 24 hour fast. I can delay eating because of my commitment to allow myself to eat as much as I want when I do eat. That's also why I think I need to fast. Because I eat as much as I want when I do eat, the amount I eat at each meal carries me over to the next meal without any experience of hunger. I need to experience hunger in order to lose weight. Intermittent hunger is a lot easier to tolerate than is the never ending hunger of conventional diets. This is why I think intermittent fasting is necessary for me.
The question remains: how many times per week do I fast? In the Greek Orthodox religion, men tend to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, and women tend to fast on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I decided to start with two fasts per week and then adjust at the end of the summer. I think I'll stick with two fasts at minimum until I am at an acceptable fast. It may be that only one fast per week is necessary because I learn that mild hunger is pleasant, and all I need is a once per week reminder of that fact. It may be that three fast per week are necessary. I simply don't know. This is an experiment.
2 PM: Fasting is not a problem at all. My stomach growled at 1:12 PM, and I simply made note of it. I can't really say that I'm all that hungry or even that my attention is on food. My 16 year old wants to reorganize the foyer closet, so we went out to get storage buckets for the project. I'm much more interested in that! This is a good sign.
5 PM: I'm about to eat dinner, which means I lasted 23 1/2 hours. I have to pick up kids at 5:30 and drop off at 6, so this is when I can eat. It wasn't too bad to go without food for this length of time. In fact, it reminds me of how I felt in no longer having snacks. I just learned to tune out food.
9 PM: Now I feel grumpy. There were months in the early days of The No S Diet when Thursday night was my grumpy night because I had an entire day to go yet before I could eat what I wanted. Back then, I don't think I could have managed going without food for 24 hours. I think I can get used to this, and I think the results will be positive, but it remains to be seen. This is an experiment. This is not a commitment.
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:35 pm, edited 48 times in total.
Kathleen, you are so reflective! I admire your perserverance, and your awareness of what is/isn't working for you. This last post, where you recognized that moving too fast actually undid progress, really resonated with me.
Some time ago, I wrote a post about "5 Degress of Change" which I think goes right along with what you're saying.
Best wishes!
Some time ago, I wrote a post about "5 Degress of Change" which I think goes right along with what you're saying.
Best wishes!
shwermert,
Thank you! If I could have any job in the world, it would be Gina Kolata's. She is a science writer who has written several books, one of which is called Rethinking Thin. In this book, Gina argues that you shouldn't try to lose weight because you'll just regain it. I'm a mother, and three of my four children are overweight so failure or resignation is not an option. Today is a big day for me. I think I've settled on an approach. This isn't for me. It's for my children. I refuse to try to control their eating, as my father tried to control mine. What I want to do is pass on knowledge that I have gained so that they make informed choices.
Kathleen
Thank you! If I could have any job in the world, it would be Gina Kolata's. She is a science writer who has written several books, one of which is called Rethinking Thin. In this book, Gina argues that you shouldn't try to lose weight because you'll just regain it. I'm a mother, and three of my four children are overweight so failure or resignation is not an option. Today is a big day for me. I think I've settled on an approach. This isn't for me. It's for my children. I refuse to try to control their eating, as my father tried to control mine. What I want to do is pass on knowledge that I have gained so that they make informed choices.
Kathleen
June, 2010
Starting Number of Exception Days = 2 (Carryover)
+ 4 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 4.
I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08 at 215 pounds. I was down to 196.6 by the summer of 2009, and I was happy that I no longer was obsessed by food and no longer felt like I was starving all the time. I stuck with the diet even though my weight stagnated at this unacceptably high weight. My goal was to lose one pound per month, which would have meant a weight of 194 or below by June, 2010. By June, 3, 2010, I realized that I needed to change my diet in order to make my goal of losing one pound per month. I changed my approach to one that I now call Orderly Eating. It is described in the first post on page 7 of this thread.
The following is a list of one weight from one day of each month of the Orderly Eating approach:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 (goal: 194)
The following is a list of weights from the current month:
Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 Exception Day
Day 2 – Friday, June 4, 2010: 200.4
Day 3 - Saturday, June 5, 2010: 199.6
Day 4 – Sunday, June 6, 2010: 200.0
Day 5 – Monday, June 7, 2010: 200.6
Day 6 – Tuesday, June 8, 2010: 200.6
Day 7 – Wednesday, June 9, 2010: 198.8
Day 8 – Thursday, June 10, 2010: 198.0
Day 9 – Friday, June 11, 2010: 197.4
Day 10 – Saturday, June 12, 2010: 197.0
Day 11 – Sunday, June 13, 2010: 198.0
Day 12 – Monday, June 14, 2010: 198.8
Day 13 – Tuesday, June 15, 2010: 199.2
Day 14 – Wednesday, June 16, 2010: 198.8
Day 15 – Thursday, June 17, 2010: 197.2
Day 16 – Friday, June 18, 2010: 197.6
Day 17 – Saturday, June 19, 2010: 196.6
Day 18 – Sunday, June 20, 2010: 197.8
Day 19 – Monday, June 21, 2010: 198.0
Day 20 – Tuesday, June 22, 2010: 198.2 Exception Day
Day 21 – Wednesday, June 23, 2010: 199.0 Exception Day
Day 22 – Thursday, June 24, 2010: Exception Day
Day 23 – Friday, June 25, 2010:
Day 24 – Saturday, June 26, 2010: 199.0
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010:
Day 26 – Monday, June 28, 2010:
Day 27 – Tuesday, June 29, 2010:
Day 28 – Wednesday, June 30, 2010:
Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 Slowly, ever so slowly, I am coming to the realization that I cannot be pigging out every Sunday. My restrained eating during the week is not sufficient for me to lose weight if, every Sunday, I am eating everything in sight. I also don't think I need that pig out day anymore. Sundays will be days when I don't snack or have seconds but can have sweets. I do think fasting is also necessary for me so that I can experience hunger and recognize just how little I need to eat. I think, actually, that I may try fasting only on Fridays and no snacks or seconds on Sundays. What is most important to me is to be able to eat as much as I want when I do eat.
9 AM: I changed my diet, so I'm starting over with today as Day 1.
2 PM: An Exception Day on Day 1. It was lunch out, and we shared dessert, and it was unexpected and totally worth it to share a dessert! That's why I like having Exception Days.
2.18 PM: Pepper just got a walk, and I had time to think. I think it's time to make this diet part of my first of the month tasks. I think it may be counterproductive to pay so much attention to it, so maybe it would be better if I just weighed myself once per month and journaled once per month. The modified diet will be a bit of a pain at first, but I don't see it as all that different from my prior one. What I am still doing is allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" at set times. I've just eliminated some occasions for eating: between meals on Sundays, Friday breakfast, and Friday lunch. Everything else is the same. Will this be enough for additional weight loss? I don't know. I think I'll give this plan a year for me to find out.
8 PM: I'm eliminating the Sunday treat day.
Day 2 – Friday, June 4, 2010, 6 AM: 200.4 I totally don't know what I'm doing. The Fast Day has the consequence of overeating after the Fast Day. Yesterday, I had almost an entire 1/2 gallon of chocolate chip ice cream. My weight only went up 1/2 pound because I had a stomach ache. Maybe I should re-institute the Sunday treat day and only have one Fast Day. One change at a time.
9 AM: I'm feeling better. I believe that fasting will teach me that I don't need food quite as quickly as I thought, and that will have a calming effect on me. An analogy in my life is my coffee habit. Over the years, I have become more and more sensitive to caffeine, to the point that I will get a headache with small changes in coffee consumption. Two weeks ago, I decided to drink my normal amount of coffee over the course of the morning rather than all at once. By 2:30 PM, I wasn't feeling well and had a diet Coke. By 5, I was in bed with a horrible migraine headache. It was my son's birthday, and he ahd takeout Chinese for dinner. I haven't drunk coffee since then, and I'm happy about that. My husband forgot his coffee today, and I'm happy to pour it right down the sink. I'm glad I'm no longer dependent on my coffee fix.
1:30 PM: I am doing just fine not eating. I feel bad that I spent an entire year stuck at just under 200 pounds, and I was hoping that my modified No S Diet approach would eventually result in a lower weight. Now I'm going to invest at least three months to see if one 24-hour fast will somehow alter my overall amount of eating. I think it's possible. The big change for me is that I am experiencing hunger in the afternoon. With The No S Diet, with how I was eating without any portion control at all, I never experienced hunger. Now I'm experiencing hunger. I'm learning that a mild hunger is downright pleasant and preferable to being stuffed. That's why I think that this one Fast Day could mean lower weight. It's not the loss of two meals in a week that will bring my weight lower. It's the realization that eating less is actually more pleasurable. I drank the Kool-Aid of thinking that hunger was a painful, unbearable experience, so why would I risk experiencing it? I got to the point of breaking my diet at the very first experience of anything that I could interpret as hunger. The result is obvious. I think my mind has to become skinny before my body can be.
6:30 PM: I got caught up in life and forgot about fasting. Now we're going out to dinner. I should enjoy it, but I'm surprised that I don't feel all that hungry.
Day 3 - Saturday, June 5, 2010, 6 AM: 199.6. We went out to dinner to use a coupon I had been given as a gift for coaching the fifth grade math team. It was an Italian restaurant. When the meal came, my first thought was that there was no way I could finish it. I did. At about 2 AM, I woke up because my stomach was so heavy. It was unpleasant. I went to the couch so as not to disturb my husband, and I rolled around for the rest of the night. I still feel that meal like lead in my stomach.
It occurred to me that determining when to eat based on a scale of "not at all hungry" through "starving" will get you in trouble because you will always err on the side of "not at all hungry" which is positive. I'm changing how I think about how much I eat. My scale will now be "light" to "heavy". Language matters. With that scale, I'll want to err on the side of "light", which is positive.
Yesterday, I also picked up a book that I had ordered form the library called The Spirituality of Fasting: Rediscovering a Christian Practice by Charles M. Murphy. I read through it last night. A lot of the content went right over my head, but I picked up some interesting tidbits:
- The Greek Orthodox fast until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays throughout the year, but the fast until 6 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays in Lent: To me, this indicates there is not a problem with my fasting for 24 hours, from dinner to dinner.
- One Greek Orthodox priest was quoted as saying something along the lines of "without fasting there is no church." This shows the central importance of fasting in the life of a Greek Orthodox.
- There is reference to fasting as a way to correct disordered eating and as a way for a person to learn temperance.
There are two things I will quote directly:
"Our national eating disorder explains how dieting has replaced fasting for many people." (p. 8.)
"We fast to feast.. The human act of eating, if it is truly eating, is a conscious one: we choose what we eat, and we appreciate it with thanksgiving." (p. 104).
I think I need to practice fasting for a time in order to appreciate what is written in the book, but I do think it indicates to me that fasting can move me in the direction that I want to go. The No S Diet got me over food obsession, but I still need to eat less and learn that my body doesn't need to be stuffed in order for me to function well.
10:45 AM: I think that you have to appreciate the value of fasting by doing it. The two books I have read on fasting don't make much sense to me. I'll try to fast on Fridays through the summer (not eat until dinner) and see what happens. Analysis without experience is mere speculation. I don't want to analyze anymore, and I don't want to speculate anymore. I want to see what it is like by doing it.
Day 4 – Sunday, June 6, 2010, 5 AM: 200.0. The end of Utra Fat to Ultra Fit is very encouraging. Here is the author's most encouraging advice: "So how do you go about eating to lose weight? In short, you need to gradually implement changes that aren't overwhelming and that you can stick with. Because what acts as a stressor varies from person to person, there is no one solution for everyone; it's up to you to find out what works. This means experimentation, which can entail doing odd things or making small changes (which you will later add to as they become ingrained)." (p. 215)
That's what I've been doing. In fact, I've even called it experimentation. The author goes on to say that a key success factor for permanent weight loss is persistence. You don't give up.
I'm not giving up. Despite keeping a journal for six years and today weighing 200 pounds, I'm not giving up. I see progress. My weight was going up 10 pounds a year, and now it is down 15 from 9/8/08. More importantly, I don't have that feeling of constant starvation and constant desire to eat more, more, more... It's a Sunday, my one day of "unconditional permission to eat", and there are no treats in the house and no desire on my part -- right now, at least -- to eat whatever I can find. Friday night's meal may have been a turning point. I had a heavy Italian dish, and I woke up at 2 AM feeling heavy, weighed down with food. I didn't like it.
Over the last few days, I've considered giving up my predictable Sunday binge, but I decided in the end that this step wasn't necessary. The feeling of pleasant lightness from Friday's fast, I figured, would eventually teach me to moderate the binge eating on Sunday, since overeating on Sunday can make me feel bad. In the end, this approach is teaching me to do what feels best for my body.
7:30 AM: I had some drive time this morning when I took my son to caddy at 7 and then had to return with a golf towel. After the second trip, I stopped at Starbucks. Despite my thinking I wouldn't pig out this morning, I started to do exactly that and realized that the whole point of Sundays for me was to stuff myself to the point where I could not take one more bite. That approach had lost its appeal, but I was doing it out of habit. I changed course and decided to figure out what would most appeal to me in a single food so I wouldn't just be indiscriminately stuffing myself. I went to Starbucks and got a non-caffeinated cold chocolate chip drink, and it was good! Maybe that is the sort of food I should have early on Sunday. Now I am very satisfied.
10 AM: I am still pigging out, and it's only 10 AM. I think I'm switching to having S Events rather than S Days. It may be that my body is so messed up from years of restrictive eating that this is the best I can do. And it may be that S Events as a concept will backfire. I'm going to find out because I don't think I'm going to lose any weight with how I am eating right now.
12:45 PM: It is now obvious to me that the S Event approach is appropriate. It's a way for me to stop pigging out all day and yet still have the flexibility I need to follow the diet perfectly. I never ever could have started off the diet with this approach. Now I'm ready. My pigging out habit has become nothing other than disgusting, and it's time to stop it. All those years of dieting and feeling like I'm starving all the time are over, and I'm never returning to them. Now I can eat without the drive to stuff myself. I've been like the alcoholic who doesn't care what he drinks so long as he drinks enough to get drunk. Now I'm past that stage and can focus on enjoying the food I eat.
It is such a wonderful day. In a few minutes, I will take my youngest daughter with a friend who is moving to buy a bunny that they can mail back and forth to each other with letters of what they did when they carried the bunny. Isn't this what life is all about? It's not about food. It's about friendship, family, and faith. It's sad that I've been mired in addiction to food. I feel free!
4 PM: We went to five stores to find the perfect stuffed animal, and now the girls are working on selecting a name. Is this analogous to my diet? Well, it's a stretch! I think it's taken a long time for me to recognize that eating with the goal of being stuffed has been my problem, and it was my very few days of fasting that gave me that insight. I've been somewhat methodical in my approach to trying to understand what was going on with me, just like those two girls are being painfully methodical in selecting a name. There's no going back to conventional diets for me. There's no going back to intuitive eating for me. Going forward, I see the value of fasting as a way to teach me that hunger is not a crises. It's taken me oh so long to get to this point, but I'm glad I'm here.
7:30 PM: I ate a lot more and realized that I need to be able to stuff myself every once in a while but just not six times per month. I'm going back to the idea of Fat Sunday, which is "unconditional permission to eat" on the second Sunday of the month. That should be enough.
8 PM: I need Fat Sunday as a way to transition away from stuffing myself for the sake of stuffing myself, like an person who drinks to get drunk. By limiting "unconditional permission to eat" to Fat Sunday only, I am reducing the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" from six per month (four Sundays plus two Exceptio Days) to one per month. That's quite a change. That's a bigger change than having one Fast Day. I think I'll have to put some effort into implementing these changes.
Day 5 – Monday, June 7, 2010, 5 PM: 200.6. I got yet another Teaching Company series of lectures by Professor Joseph Koterski of Fordham University. This one is on natural law, and I'm currently listening to Koterski's summary of Aristotle's virtue ethics. His summary is that the conscious choice of habits eventually creates a "second nature." The beauty of The No S Diet is that I started it with out of control bingeing as my "second nature", and now my "second nature" is N Days of three meals per day with no "portion control". I started off with 10 binge days per month (all Saturdays and Sundays plus two Exception Days), then I moved to six per month (all Sundays plus two Exception Days), and now I am working on having only one per month (Fat Sunday). It may be that I'll decide that I can have Exception Days as binge days, but I'm going to try just having Exception Events (or S Events). Despite my weight still being so high, it's really nice to sit down at the computer and reflect that I have not thought about food (except to cook it) since lunch. I'm no longer tempted to pop food into my mouth just because it is within my sight. Eating only at mealtime has become "second nature", at least on N Days!
8 PM: I sat down to dinner, a meal of turkey chili with rice. Before I had finished 1/3 of it, I realized I was full. How could that be? Was it the spices? I continued to pick at the meal until I left to take my son to the movies, and then I returned to the meal and finished abou 3/4 of it. I'm someone who scrapes the sides of a plate. How was it that I was now scraping 1/4 of a perfectly good meal into the garbage? I don't know. Is this an effect of fasting? I don't know. Correlation does not mean causation.
Day 6 – Tuesday, June 8, 2010, 6 AM: 200.6 I changed the diet yet again. Having one Sunday per month which is different from the others seemed to me to be too complicated for the habit to become "second nature". I'll have one Exception Event every Sunday and two Exeption Days per month. That means I am now reducing the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" from six (all Sundays plus two Exception Days) down to two (two Exception Days). I think all of these changes were brought on by fasting. I had a "diet backlash" reaction to fasting. Last night's decision not to finish my meal, however, indicates to me that fasting may well have the long-term benefit of making me not want to have an excessive amount of food. I'm very encouraged.
5 PM: I just read a WebMD email on the importance of vigilence in maintaining a lower weight. Ugh! Vigilence is the last thing I want. What I want is a habit that is "second nature". Today, for lunch, all I wanted was 1/2 peanut butter sandwich and milk. Why? I have no idea why. I'm thinking that fasting may have given me insight into just how little I need, and now I don't necessarily think it is a problem to have my stomach be less than stuffed by the next meal. I'm making dinner early tonight because Ellie has soccer practice, and it was no problem at all to last through the afternoon on only 1/2 peanut butter sandwich. The problem was to finish what Anne said she'd do, which was to reorganize the buckets in the two foyer closets. She did a lot of work, but she did not finish. I'm finishing, and I spent about two hours today finishing. I did not think about food all afternoon.
Day 7 – Wednesday, June 9, 2010: 198.8. Between breakfast and lunch yesterday, something happened. I seemed to lose my voracious appetite. For lunch, I had 1/2 peanut butter sandwich, and for dinner I had a grilled cheese sandwich. I also had milk at both meals. Why? I don't know. There was this day at the beginning of January of 2002 when I just suddenly wanted to eat, eat, eat... I had no idea why. I remember thinking it was strange and then just waiting for it to stop. It never did. Is it now finally stopping? Am I finally over those years of restrictive eating? I don't know. I'll have to wait and see.
5:30 PM: Yesterday was Day 639 after starting The No S Diet on 9/8/08. What I first noticed at lunch yesterday seems to be continuing. I seem to have developed a desire for feeling less than stuffed, and I think it may come from fasting, but I'm not sure. Today, I noticed several very overweight women and just felt sorry for them. I think that most people who get that heavy are those who have persisted in fighting their body's survival mechanism because conventional diets trigger a starvation reaction. I may be wrong, of course. This was the theory of Intuitive Eating, and it seemed very rational to me. My husband, however, thought I had to be kidding when I explained I felt like I was starving even though I was obese. Wouldn't it be nice if I lost weight quickly from here on out? If my attitude towards food continues, that may well be the case. I no longer want to eat to stuffed at meals. That meal at the Italian restaurant last Friday seems to have convinced me that eating to stuffed is not ideal because I woke up in the night feeling like my stomach was filled with lead.
Time will tell...This may be permanent, or it may not be. If it is, I would love to find that I'm dropping pounds quickly and easily. Wouldn't that be great? I'm holding to the basic premise that "portion control" is a failed strategy. I won't be tempted by a desire to lose weight quickly. Instead, I'm almost a bystander as I watch what my body wants. It's the emotional brain vs. the rational brain, and I'm letting the emotional brain run the show within the rules of Orderly Eating, which was established by the rational brain.
Day 9 – Friday, June 11, 2010: 197.4 I'm actually looking forward to today as a Fast Day. It almost seems restful.
5:30 PM: Easy. The day was easy. My stomach didn't growl. I didn't feel hungry. This whole experience reminds me of the cap put on the oil in the Gulf. They put on a cap with vents, and now the vents are being closed. My big adjustment was to no snacks just like the big accmplishment was putting the cap on the oil. Not eating from dinner to dinner one day is like closing the vents. I've adjusted to waiting for meals, so waiting for dinner is normal behavior.
8:30 PM: After skimming through Good Calories, Bad Calories, I now realize that the absence of carbohydrates is what resulted in the absence of hunger. It may seem illogical, but eating nothing is easier than eating little.
Day 11 – Sunday, June 13, 2010: 198.0. I wanted to make absolutely sure that I didn't feel deprived on my first day with Sunday having one Exception Event rather than "unconditional permission to eat" all day. I also convinced my 16 year old to join me in this change. We went to Starbucks, and I got a double chocolatey chip creme while she got a strawberries and creme drink. We each had a chocolate bar as well. I just looked up the calories in the drink, and it was 500 calories. The chocolate bar was 550 calories. I enjoyed them both within the hour, and now I am stuffed. I don't think the transition to one Exception Event is going to be hard at all. What I'm eliminating, finally, is unconscious eating -- the type that involves popping food in my mouth without even thinking about it.
3 PM: I'm doing great. I still feel stuffed even 4 hours after my 1,050 calorie indulgence. This is 1/4 the total of my all-time pig-out of 4,000 calories of caramel macademian clusters. Next week, I won't have as much because it's unpleasant to have a stomach feeling as stuffed as mine is now.
6 PM: It's been six and one half years since I started keeping a journal on my attempts at weight loss. I wrote 251 pages prior to starting The No S Diet in September, 2008, and I've written 100 pages since then. Finally, finally, I think I'm settled in what I'm doing. My goal is a one pound per month weight loss since September, 2008, and I'm behind now because I had a faulty scale. With the switch from an Exception Day to one Exception Event on Sundays and the addition of a fast between Thursday dinner and Friday dinner, I think I'll catch up and be able to be on track by July at 192 pounds.
I'm feeling confident that I've got the structure in place to be able to lose weight down to normal weight. If I fall behind the one pound per month weight loss goal, I can add miles to my daily exercise and/or add days of intermittent fasting. I'm so happy. I'm so relieved. Since that day in January, 2004 when I realized my daughter was going to have the same problems I did with eating, it's been my number one goal to figure out how to lose weight and keep it off easily. I think I've found the answer for me and, I hope, also for my daughter. There could be no greater motivation for me than to find a path out of obesity that my daughter could follow.
8:30 PM: I'm through my first Sunday without "unconditional permission to eat", and I think I did just fine. I plan not to make any more changes at least for a few months because the combination of only an Exception Event on Sundays and a dinner-to-dinner fast could result in a faster weight loss than one pound per month. I will stick with this approach no matter what at least through our family vacation in August.
Tonight, I told Tom that I thought I'd figured out how to lose weight permanently, and he said, "I doubt it." To his defense, I know I've said that many times in the past. Is this time different? Time will tell. I need to wait and see.
Day 12 – Monday, June 14, 2010: 198.8. I think it's over. I think I've finally figured out the key to permanent and easy weight loss: every time I eat, I eat as much as I want. The restrictions are on what I eat (no sweets except once on Sundays and all day on Exception Days) and when I eat (at meals except one additional time on Sundays and all day on Exception Days; no Friday breakfast or lunch). Because I can eat as much as I want when I do eat, there is no sense of starvation. How utterly simple. I wish it hadn't taken me so long and so much effort to figure this out, but there it is.
8:41 PM: Intermittent fasting is the way people used to experience hunger and know how much food is necessary. Now, people learn by "cutting back" or "portion control" and experiencing "diet backlash." Intermittent fasting is controlled and pre-planned. "Portion control" leads to out of control bingeing. Even before I found out about The No S Diet, I had thought that the path out of obesity might start with "controlled binges." What I hadn't realized was that I needed to learn to tolerate hunger. All those years that I thought I was learning to eat less really were wasted years when I learned to be intolerant of even the slightest indication of hunger. It's sad. It seems so obvious to me now, but I've been immsersed in cultural assumptions that were just plain wrong. Hunger is not a crises. Hunger is not painful. Learning to tolerate hunger is what enables me to be temperate. Fasting teaches temperance.
9:15 PM: Had I known this is where I would end up, I think I could have plunged into this diet right away. I was trying to limit portion sizes initially, and my reaction was all day eating on Saturdays and Sundays. Now, going forward, I think my adjustment will be relatively easy because I've already taken so many steps towards delaying eating until mealtime. I don't know that I have anything more of interest to write. Maybe I'll just update this journal once per month going forward.
Day 16 – Friday, June 18, 2010: 197.6 I went looking for the weight loss contest that I had for the kids, and it turns out that it was on Saturday, March 6, 2010 when I weighed 196.8 (according to the old scale, which proved to be inaccurate). The weigh in is for a $50 bet that will be on Friday, September 3, 2010. The predictions are:
Ellie: 5.2 pounds (prediction of 191.6)
Katie: 9 pounds (prediction of 187.8 )
Tom: pi/e or 3.14159/1.1557271 or approximately 1.1557271 (prediction of 195.6)
Anne: e, or 2.71828 (prediction of 193.3)
It's hard to look back to March and see that I thought then that I weighed less than I do now. I do think that my old scale had gotten inaccurate, and I just hadn't known it. As a result of that experience, I am trying to measure myself to make sure that the scale is accurate. Last year, at my annual physical, I weighed 199 pounds. My annual physical is next week, and I will have lost little to no weight. What I have gained is knowledge that fasting is the way to balance a philosophy of no portion control. It's over the rest of my life that I will benefit from this knowledge, and I hope that my children learn from this knowledge as well.
5 PM: Fasting almost seems restful. I'm not having any difficulty at all with it. I haven't eaten since last night, and I'm able to function just fine.
Day 17 – Saturday, June 19, 2010, 6 AM: 196.6 Last night, I had about 1/3 of my large serving of a casserole when I thought -- I don't want any more. Did I finish it? Yes, and the reason why was that I was afraid I'd get hungry before morning. That was an interesting experience. Here I was, breaking a fast, and I wasn't particularly hungry, but my mind overruled my body, and I ate. This is why I think the key to permanent weight loss is to respect my body. I need a framework for orderly eating that allows me to have no limits on portion size. If there is no limit on portion size, I can eat as much as I want and won't be afraid of getting a little hungry between meals because I know I can fully satisfy my hunger at the next meal. I'm still learning that lesson because I ate more than I wanted last night as a way to prevent hunger prior to breakfast.
I'm not particularly hungry this morning. Having gone 24 hours without food, I don't have to worry so much about getting hungry between meals. I know I can handle a 24 hour fast, so I certainly can handle a fast between breakfast and lunch just in case I didn't have quite enough to satisfy myself at breakfast. It strikes me that my prior way of eating (with portion control) created a constant sense of panic, a constant sense that I need even more to avoid real pain. It's all nonsense. I bought into a cultural assumption that hunger is terribly painful. My experience yesterday was that it was restful to go for a day without eating.
9 AM: I just realized that today's weight was my low from last summer.
6 PM: This is just getting better and better. It seems to me that I am desiring different foods because of the fasting. I don't want heavy foods. Tonight, I'm making a bean-based stew. The kids are not sharing my desire for this type of food. Is it possible that the fasting is a cause of this shift in what I desire, or is this just a correlation? I don't know. If I end up desiring less and desiring foods that are good for me, what could be better? I'm no longer fighting my body. It's a wonderful feeling.
The other day, I pulled an ad out of the June issue of Ladies Home Journal. In it, a pill was being promoted that would relieve diet stress. How sad!
Here is an excerpt from that ad: "As it turns out, the same diet that's helping you lose weight might actually be causing you to retain figure-destroying belly fat. That's because dieting is stressful. You worry about what to eat... when to eat... how much to eat. All that worry leads to "diet stress"...Thse groundbreaking compounds are not really diet pills in the true sense of the word. Instead, they help traditional diet and exercise programs reduce tummy bulge by controlling diet-related stress and anxiety...the same stress and anxiety that can lead to stubborn belly fat retention (not to mentiona that all-time diet killer "Nervous Binge Eating")."
This ad just mades me very sad. I have a father who is still hounding me about my weight, even though I'm 51 years old! We have a family reunion next month, and he's been telling me that I'm not really serious about losing weight because I've only lost 20 pounds. What he doesn't understand, because he has succeeded by his iron will at keeping his weight low and fighting his body's desire to survive, is that this way of eating is a different way of life. It's not just about the weight. In fact, it's mostly not about the weight. It's about respect for my body. Actually, it's more about respecting myself rather than relying on outside authorities to tell me what to do. I've often thought that the defining characteristic of the obese is gullibility, and this ad supports my theory. People want to take a pill to help solve the problems caused by following diets that don't respect their bodies' needs, and -- surprise -- it's stressful! I'm so glad I'm out of that mess.
Day 18 – Sunday, June 20, 2010, 6 AM: 197.8. It's hard to believe that I used to hang on until midnight and the start of the all-weekend binge. Today, I'll have carrot cake, which is not a favorite of mine but is one of my husband's. It's Father's Day, after all, and we're making Tom his favorite cake. I may have some chocolate with it, but it's not as if I'm counting the hours until I can have a sweet. To be relieved of the burden of wanting more and more and more food is such a blessing. It really seems to be working to have an S Event only on Sundays rather than an S Day on Sundays.
Day 19 – Monday, June 21, 2010, 3 PM: 198.0. I was reading through a book called The Pritiken Edge about how it can be very satisfying to eat foods with high water content, and so this morning I had some hot cereal. It was very filling! For lunch, I had soup and 1/2 sandwich. I may try to move towards more food with high water content. I also decided to order a pedometer so that I can vary where I walk. With having such low expectations of losing only one pound per month, I can experiment and still make up for time lost due to failed experiments. Today, on a Monday, I'm only four pounds above my goal of 194 for the month. By Saturday, I should be down at least two pounds. I hope to be back on track by July or August at the latest.
7 PM: I felt strangely hungry this evening, so I had a large meal plus an entire bowl of popcorn. That's just fine. I'm following the letter of this diet, and that's all I need.
Day 20 – Tuesday, June 22, 2010, 6:30 AM: 198.2 I'm feeling impatient about the slow rate of weight loss, so I'm going to look at increasing physical activity. I'd like to use a pedomenter to increase the number of steps I take, and I'd like to look at developing a strengthening exercise program. At some point, I'll add Wednesday as a fast day, but not yet. My hope is that my weight for the first of July will at least be 197, so that I'm closer to my weight goal (four pounds over weight goal of 193), than I was in June (at 200 pounds, I was six pounds over my weight goal of 194 pounds).
8:30 PM: Very spur of the moment, I decided to have two Dove chocolate ice cream bars and a banana. I think I can manage social situations very well while following this diet, but I want to be able to have whatever I want whenever I want, and these Exception Days give me the flexibility to do just that. It's like having money to spend on whatever I want, even if it might seem foolish to others. For example, last year I spent about $170 on a 16 inch 14K gold chain that I wear all the time with an Irish K. I love it. Having Exception Days is like being able to spend that much money twice per month!
9 PM: I just cannot stand being so fat, so I'm going to go for a two time per week fast -- Wednesday and Friday.
Day 21 – Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 5 AM: 199.0. Reading through Healthy at Any Size triggered a binge and then a decision to fast an extra day. I panicked. The book brought back memories of trying to eat when hungry, of all the belly-gazing associated with rating hunger. I was up at 3:30 AM reading through the book. Ugh. I need to calm down and give this idea of one fast per week a chance to work.
10:30 AM: I tried an Ornish recipe last night, and it bombed. I think the Pritiken approach for meals might be better. The basic strategy is low calorie density, so you focus on having foods that have a high water content. I'll try one of those recipes tonight.
2 PM: Now I'm down to only one Exception Day. What am I doing? I don't know. I think I need to calm down and just stick with this program. Since I'm impatient to get to my goal weight, which will be 193 in one week, I think I should focus on exercise and not on changing my diet. I haven't yet gotten a pedometer but think I'll try 10,000 steps per day.
630 PM: I think I've backed my way into understanding what I want out of a diet:
1. No portion control so I don't feel as though I am starving all the time.
2. Guaranteed weight loss if I follow the letter of the law even if I violate the spirit of the law to a shameful degree.
With my diet, I've managed to achieve objective #1 but not objective #2, so I'm changing the diet to include:
1 53 Fast Days between now and the end of the year, which can be done on any Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, and
2. An average of 10,000 steps per day.
The pedometer hasn't shipped yet, so I'll just count the number of times I go on my one mile walk and the retroactively add steps. I am sick of being fat, and I want to change my behavior so I'm down in weight. I do think that forming habits of thinness is the key to weight loss, not willpower, but I'm still trying to figure out what habits I need!
I am a middle-aged woman who is 5'6.5" tall. How much exercise and how many calories I need are not the same as how much exercise and calories needed by a teenage boy (whom I observe simply inhales food) or my 80+ year old parents or anyone else. I do think that the concept of having habits is applicable to everyone, but that is out of deference to Aristotle, who promoted a virtue ethics based on habits.
10:30 PM: What a day! Do I reset my count to Day 1 tomorrow? No. I think not. I'm just making an adjustment. The big leaps have been to add walking to my program and to add Fast Days. I'm doubling the number of Fast Days and changing how I determine the amount I walk. That's all. I read in a book called Healthy at 100 by a man named Robins that there is a saying in a community of particularly healthy elderly in the mountains of Ecuador. The saying is this: "You have two doctors -- your left leg and your right leg." I like that. There is no substitute for exercise.
Day 22 – Thursday, June 24, 2010: I'm not sure if my choice of habits is sustainable for long, but I can follow them for six months -- through the end of the year -- and I'm confident following these habits will result in weight loss. I wish I had a pedometer now, but I don't, so I'm going to try average four miles per day of walking. As for weighing myself, is it necessary anymore? I can weigh myself once per month. At this point, I'd rather spend my time walking than reading or journalling. Enough is enough. It's time to get moving!
3:30 PM: Oh, my. I'm down to no more Exception Days. Clearly, I've spiraled out of control. Why? I think I blew it -- I should have settled into one Fast Day per week rather than stretch for two, and I should have waited for the pedometer and then start to add walking time. OK. I'm going back to what I was doing. I need to give myself time.
Day 23 – Friday, June 25, 2010: Talk about discouraging! I had my annual physical this morning, and I weighed in at 201, which is two pounds more than I weighed last year. It's also only 10 pounds less than I weighed two years ago because I wasn't yet at my highest weight. I am going to put as much of an optimistic spin on this as I can: Like Thomas Edison, I've found a lot of things that don't work!
Today is a Fast Day, and I am finding that I actually like fasting. It feels restful. I also think that it somehow helps me to want foods that are better for me because I want lighter foods. I have been experimenting with different types of foods like Ornish and Pritiken, and I think Pritiken might strike the right balance between tasty and healthful. I've dumped a lot of food into the trash, and the Pritiken approach is at least edible for the kids. It has an emphasis on low calorie denisty foods. I won't follow it strictly because I want to have peanut butter and nuts like almonds, but I will try to use recipes for dinners in particular.
I also have concluded that I need to exercise more. The one mile route that I have taken twice per day with my dog is getting very boring. That's why I decided to get a pedometer. I can then measure how much I walk without having to drive around and create routes using the van to measure distance.
If there is one thing my journal has done, it has proven that people who are obese aren't necessarily unconcerned and unmotivated. It's really, really difficult to lose weight. I've put a condition on my eating that makes losing weight even more difficult, and that condition is "no portion control." I think I ended up binge eating because of portion control, and my first priority is orderly eating. Weight loss is only my second priority.
I think fasting once per week is going to help a lot with putting food into perspective in my life. In reading through some religious books on fasting, I have found that there is a great deal of emphasis on the importance and necessity of fasting. One Greek Orthodox priest, for example, said "Without fasting there is no church." I am frankly puzzled by a statement like that. It makes no sense whatever to me. I suspect that, as I make fasting a part of my life, I will better understand it. What I can understand so far is this: A focus on eating as soon as you experience hunger means you are putting a first priority on self-comfort. With fasting, you learn to delay your own needs.
3 PM: I decided to follow the Greek Orthodox approach of breaking the fast at 3 PM, so I had what amounted to lunch at 3 PM.
Day 24 – Saturday, June 26, 2010: 199.0 After an entire year at this weight, I think I have to face the reality that something has to change. I can exercise. I can fast. Is this enough? I think I'll try making Pritiken meals. While the Pritiken approach empahsizes several meals per day, I'm sticking with three. I'm just going to try making their dinners.
7 PM: I've been in a downward spiral before, and today is no exception. Pritiken is fundamentally opposed to The No S Diet because the whole point is you eat what is recommended rather than what you want. I tried snacking on vegetables, as recommended by Pritiken, and I ended up gorging on cheese slices, Cheerios, dried cherries, and whatever else was in the cabinet. I'm returning to Orderly Eating with a Friday fast.
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010, 2 AM: There was a lot of wisdom in the book Intuitive Eating, and one thing it said was that focusing on weight loss backfires. I think that I just proved that point in the last several days. I have to give up even on my one pound per month goal and just focus on Orderly Eating. I need to focus on habits, not goals. A monthly weigh-in will give me feedback on how well-ordered are my habits, and that feedback may lead to a change in habit, but the focus still needs to be on habit and not on reaching a specific weight at a specific time. My life has been consumed by weight loss, and here I am obese. It is so sad.
I think I'll give this Orderly Eating approach an entire year, with my only tweaking being on my exercise program. This will give me some breathing room to focus on other people, like my husband and children. I feel so guilty about being so consumed by weight loss. A lot of my motivation has been to find a sane approach to weight maintenance so my daughter doesn't repeat my problems in her own life. Still, part of the reason for Orderly Eating is so that eating and weight maintenance can become like background music, a part of my life but not the focus of it.
10 AM: I can't find the directions for taking our 9 year old to Girl Scout Camp today, and I just found out from my son that he's in danger of not being able to caddy after July 1 if he isn't able to caddy three more times. He had a Boy Scout Pancake Breakfast yesterday, and an all-day volunteer activity yesterday for Boy Scouts and tomorrow for a park & rec program. He volunteered every weekday last week for the church's Vacation Bible School. As with the kids, it's a matter of priorities for me. My son put too much emphasis on volunteering (which I cannot exactly condemn), and I've put too much emphasis on weight management. The result: the sound of balls dropping.
It's just a gut feel, but I think that my problem is that I never experience hunger because I eat every meal to full satisfaction. A once-weekly 24 hour fast would give me the opportunity to experience some emptying of my stomach. I think fasting is what I need. I won't know, however, unless I try it. I think I need to try it for quite some time, so I'm putting a one year mortatorium on changes to the diet. I'll follow the Orderly Eating approach. If I get nervous about slow weight loss, I can try tweaking exercise.
7:30 PM: Our son missed Mass so he could caddy, and I brought him to church and went to get gas while he was at church. I went into the convenience store and felt like an addict looking for candy. I left to go to Walgreen's and got a PayDay. Then I went to Target and got a double chocolate chip drink from the Starbucks there and bought a Snickers bar as I was leaving. When I got home, I had some pizza and an entire bowl of popcorn. Why? I realized that the reason was that I had given up "unconditional permission to eat" on Sundays. I decided to let myself have one Sunday per month as a day of "unconditional permission to eat."
I also realized that I'm having some problems with Fast Days. In a society in which everyone fasts on Friday, sure, I'd have no problem. Looking forward, however, I see problems. I'm going to have significant social pressure to eat on Fridays before dinner, so I'm setting myself up to fail if I have a goal of no eating until dinner on Fridays. Instead, I'm giving myself the opportunity to fast on some Wednesdays and Fridays, with the goal of 52 Fast Days in 12 months. This flexibility will make me more able to achieve the goal of fasting. I think it's critically important.
While I am revising my diet once more, I am not restarting numbering to Day 1. The reason why is that I see the big change in the diet as adding Fast Days. This month has been a month of tweaking and tweaking. I hope I'm done and can go forward now.
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010: Another sleepless night. I am so stuffed with food that I can't sleep. Nearly two years ago now, I pinned all my hopes on The No S Diet. It wasn't enough. Now I'm pinning all my hopes on a modification which includes Fast Days. Will it be enough? I don't know. I did make progress with The No S Diet. I stopped gaining weight and even lost some weight. I stopped thinking constantly about food. I no longer felt like I was starving all the time. Now, with fasting, I hope that I can learn to tolerate hunger. I hope that I can bring order to the disordered eating of more than 30 years. I hope that my children can learn from my mistakes and can live in this society of disordered eating. They know what doesn't work because they have observed me. I hope they learn what can work.
Day 26 – Monday, June 28, 2010: I decided to make a little tweak in the accounting of Fast Days so that I substract one for every Friday and try to stay above zero. For the rest of this month, there are no Fridays, so I have 0 Fast Days. Starting on July 1, there are five Fridays in July, so I'll subtract 5 from my ending balance. As I take a Fast Day, I'll add one. By the end of July, I'll want to be above 0.
Today I also bought some Asics running shoes. They are very comfortable. I'll get a pedometer later this week. My attention will turn now to an exercise program.
Day 28 – Wednesday, June 30, 2010: I revised my Orderly Eating approach to clarify how I track Fast Days. Reinhard distinguishes between S Days and N Days and has nothing to track. I've made this a lot more complicated with Normal Days, Fast Days, Feast Days, Exception Days and Fat Sundays. I'm also tracking Fast Days, Exception Days, and Fat Sundays. That's OK. This approach appeals to my analytical nature. It also gives me something to do other than weigh myself, which I think it would be best to do just once per month. The focus for me needs to be on habits, not results. I've read up on fasting practices for the Greek Orthodox faith, and this faith has all sorts of types of days for fasting. There's a rhythm to what the Greek Orthodox do in managing their eating habits. That's what I'm trying to imitate. My approach isn't exactly mindless, but it will require minimal effort. I bought a pocket planner starting tomorrow (July 1, 2010) and going through the end of 2011. I'll use that planner to track the balance on the Exception Days, Fast Days, and Fat Sundays.
Will this work? I don't know. I feel optimistic, but -- then again -- I'm always feeling optimistic about losing weight! Failure is not an option! A tidbit I got from the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Thin is the author's observation that those who lose weight and keep it off are those who persist despite repeated failures. Well, I'm in that camp! I simply am not giving up!
I think that, in my attempts at weight loss, I made no progress at all until I read the Intuitive Eating book and gained an appreciation for why binge eating is more a normal physical and uncontrollable reaction to starvation than it is any sort of psychological or emotional abnormality. The next big jump in progress was reading Kelly Brownell's book Food Fight which gave me the idea that I needed to set up my own personal environment to protect myself from the cultural environment that promotes obesity. After that, reading The No S Diet was like crossing the Continental Divide: I appreciated that starting to eat based on an external trigger (like mealtime -- what a concept!) could help me to normalize my eating. Finally, I've come to appreciate the religious wisdom of fasting as a way to tolerate hunger and learn how much my body needs to eat. I know that there are more steps to treating my body with respect because I know that the next step for me is to develop an exercise program!
12 PM: I think I'm taking baby steps now and just having a Fast Day be one in which I don't eat from after dinner the night before until lunch rather than dinner. Someday, I'll expand it to mean no breakfast or lunch on a Fast Day.
12:30 PM: I'm restarting my numbering tomorrow with fasts from one dinner to the next.
9 PM: What a day! I was in the van continuously from 1 PM thorugh 8 PM except for about 45 minutes. Still, I managed to grab food when I wasn't in the van, and I am now stuffed. I changed the diet yet again, but I'm not restarting the numbering. I decided that I should allow myself (N Days) days of no snacks and no sweets, days of "unconditional permission to eat" (Exception Days or Fat Sundays), or days of one meal (Fast Days). I will allow myself a Fat Sunday for every Fast Day.
Starting Number of Exception Days = 2 (Carryover)
+ 4 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 4.
I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08 at 215 pounds. I was down to 196.6 by the summer of 2009, and I was happy that I no longer was obsessed by food and no longer felt like I was starving all the time. I stuck with the diet even though my weight stagnated at this unacceptably high weight. My goal was to lose one pound per month, which would have meant a weight of 194 or below by June, 2010. By June, 3, 2010, I realized that I needed to change my diet in order to make my goal of losing one pound per month. I changed my approach to one that I now call Orderly Eating. It is described in the first post on page 7 of this thread.
The following is a list of one weight from one day of each month of the Orderly Eating approach:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 (goal: 194)
The following is a list of weights from the current month:
Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 Exception Day
Day 2 – Friday, June 4, 2010: 200.4
Day 3 - Saturday, June 5, 2010: 199.6
Day 4 – Sunday, June 6, 2010: 200.0
Day 5 – Monday, June 7, 2010: 200.6
Day 6 – Tuesday, June 8, 2010: 200.6
Day 7 – Wednesday, June 9, 2010: 198.8
Day 8 – Thursday, June 10, 2010: 198.0
Day 9 – Friday, June 11, 2010: 197.4
Day 10 – Saturday, June 12, 2010: 197.0
Day 11 – Sunday, June 13, 2010: 198.0
Day 12 – Monday, June 14, 2010: 198.8
Day 13 – Tuesday, June 15, 2010: 199.2
Day 14 – Wednesday, June 16, 2010: 198.8
Day 15 – Thursday, June 17, 2010: 197.2
Day 16 – Friday, June 18, 2010: 197.6
Day 17 – Saturday, June 19, 2010: 196.6
Day 18 – Sunday, June 20, 2010: 197.8
Day 19 – Monday, June 21, 2010: 198.0
Day 20 – Tuesday, June 22, 2010: 198.2 Exception Day
Day 21 – Wednesday, June 23, 2010: 199.0 Exception Day
Day 22 – Thursday, June 24, 2010: Exception Day
Day 23 – Friday, June 25, 2010:
Day 24 – Saturday, June 26, 2010: 199.0
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010:
Day 26 – Monday, June 28, 2010:
Day 27 – Tuesday, June 29, 2010:
Day 28 – Wednesday, June 30, 2010:
Day 1 – Thursday, June 3, 2010: 200.0 Slowly, ever so slowly, I am coming to the realization that I cannot be pigging out every Sunday. My restrained eating during the week is not sufficient for me to lose weight if, every Sunday, I am eating everything in sight. I also don't think I need that pig out day anymore. Sundays will be days when I don't snack or have seconds but can have sweets. I do think fasting is also necessary for me so that I can experience hunger and recognize just how little I need to eat. I think, actually, that I may try fasting only on Fridays and no snacks or seconds on Sundays. What is most important to me is to be able to eat as much as I want when I do eat.
9 AM: I changed my diet, so I'm starting over with today as Day 1.
2 PM: An Exception Day on Day 1. It was lunch out, and we shared dessert, and it was unexpected and totally worth it to share a dessert! That's why I like having Exception Days.
2.18 PM: Pepper just got a walk, and I had time to think. I think it's time to make this diet part of my first of the month tasks. I think it may be counterproductive to pay so much attention to it, so maybe it would be better if I just weighed myself once per month and journaled once per month. The modified diet will be a bit of a pain at first, but I don't see it as all that different from my prior one. What I am still doing is allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" at set times. I've just eliminated some occasions for eating: between meals on Sundays, Friday breakfast, and Friday lunch. Everything else is the same. Will this be enough for additional weight loss? I don't know. I think I'll give this plan a year for me to find out.
8 PM: I'm eliminating the Sunday treat day.
Day 2 – Friday, June 4, 2010, 6 AM: 200.4 I totally don't know what I'm doing. The Fast Day has the consequence of overeating after the Fast Day. Yesterday, I had almost an entire 1/2 gallon of chocolate chip ice cream. My weight only went up 1/2 pound because I had a stomach ache. Maybe I should re-institute the Sunday treat day and only have one Fast Day. One change at a time.
9 AM: I'm feeling better. I believe that fasting will teach me that I don't need food quite as quickly as I thought, and that will have a calming effect on me. An analogy in my life is my coffee habit. Over the years, I have become more and more sensitive to caffeine, to the point that I will get a headache with small changes in coffee consumption. Two weeks ago, I decided to drink my normal amount of coffee over the course of the morning rather than all at once. By 2:30 PM, I wasn't feeling well and had a diet Coke. By 5, I was in bed with a horrible migraine headache. It was my son's birthday, and he ahd takeout Chinese for dinner. I haven't drunk coffee since then, and I'm happy about that. My husband forgot his coffee today, and I'm happy to pour it right down the sink. I'm glad I'm no longer dependent on my coffee fix.
1:30 PM: I am doing just fine not eating. I feel bad that I spent an entire year stuck at just under 200 pounds, and I was hoping that my modified No S Diet approach would eventually result in a lower weight. Now I'm going to invest at least three months to see if one 24-hour fast will somehow alter my overall amount of eating. I think it's possible. The big change for me is that I am experiencing hunger in the afternoon. With The No S Diet, with how I was eating without any portion control at all, I never experienced hunger. Now I'm experiencing hunger. I'm learning that a mild hunger is downright pleasant and preferable to being stuffed. That's why I think that this one Fast Day could mean lower weight. It's not the loss of two meals in a week that will bring my weight lower. It's the realization that eating less is actually more pleasurable. I drank the Kool-Aid of thinking that hunger was a painful, unbearable experience, so why would I risk experiencing it? I got to the point of breaking my diet at the very first experience of anything that I could interpret as hunger. The result is obvious. I think my mind has to become skinny before my body can be.
6:30 PM: I got caught up in life and forgot about fasting. Now we're going out to dinner. I should enjoy it, but I'm surprised that I don't feel all that hungry.
Day 3 - Saturday, June 5, 2010, 6 AM: 199.6. We went out to dinner to use a coupon I had been given as a gift for coaching the fifth grade math team. It was an Italian restaurant. When the meal came, my first thought was that there was no way I could finish it. I did. At about 2 AM, I woke up because my stomach was so heavy. It was unpleasant. I went to the couch so as not to disturb my husband, and I rolled around for the rest of the night. I still feel that meal like lead in my stomach.
It occurred to me that determining when to eat based on a scale of "not at all hungry" through "starving" will get you in trouble because you will always err on the side of "not at all hungry" which is positive. I'm changing how I think about how much I eat. My scale will now be "light" to "heavy". Language matters. With that scale, I'll want to err on the side of "light", which is positive.
Yesterday, I also picked up a book that I had ordered form the library called The Spirituality of Fasting: Rediscovering a Christian Practice by Charles M. Murphy. I read through it last night. A lot of the content went right over my head, but I picked up some interesting tidbits:
- The Greek Orthodox fast until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays throughout the year, but the fast until 6 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays in Lent: To me, this indicates there is not a problem with my fasting for 24 hours, from dinner to dinner.
- One Greek Orthodox priest was quoted as saying something along the lines of "without fasting there is no church." This shows the central importance of fasting in the life of a Greek Orthodox.
- There is reference to fasting as a way to correct disordered eating and as a way for a person to learn temperance.
There are two things I will quote directly:
"Our national eating disorder explains how dieting has replaced fasting for many people." (p. 8.)
"We fast to feast.. The human act of eating, if it is truly eating, is a conscious one: we choose what we eat, and we appreciate it with thanksgiving." (p. 104).
I think I need to practice fasting for a time in order to appreciate what is written in the book, but I do think it indicates to me that fasting can move me in the direction that I want to go. The No S Diet got me over food obsession, but I still need to eat less and learn that my body doesn't need to be stuffed in order for me to function well.
10:45 AM: I think that you have to appreciate the value of fasting by doing it. The two books I have read on fasting don't make much sense to me. I'll try to fast on Fridays through the summer (not eat until dinner) and see what happens. Analysis without experience is mere speculation. I don't want to analyze anymore, and I don't want to speculate anymore. I want to see what it is like by doing it.
Day 4 – Sunday, June 6, 2010, 5 AM: 200.0. The end of Utra Fat to Ultra Fit is very encouraging. Here is the author's most encouraging advice: "So how do you go about eating to lose weight? In short, you need to gradually implement changes that aren't overwhelming and that you can stick with. Because what acts as a stressor varies from person to person, there is no one solution for everyone; it's up to you to find out what works. This means experimentation, which can entail doing odd things or making small changes (which you will later add to as they become ingrained)." (p. 215)
That's what I've been doing. In fact, I've even called it experimentation. The author goes on to say that a key success factor for permanent weight loss is persistence. You don't give up.
I'm not giving up. Despite keeping a journal for six years and today weighing 200 pounds, I'm not giving up. I see progress. My weight was going up 10 pounds a year, and now it is down 15 from 9/8/08. More importantly, I don't have that feeling of constant starvation and constant desire to eat more, more, more... It's a Sunday, my one day of "unconditional permission to eat", and there are no treats in the house and no desire on my part -- right now, at least -- to eat whatever I can find. Friday night's meal may have been a turning point. I had a heavy Italian dish, and I woke up at 2 AM feeling heavy, weighed down with food. I didn't like it.
Over the last few days, I've considered giving up my predictable Sunday binge, but I decided in the end that this step wasn't necessary. The feeling of pleasant lightness from Friday's fast, I figured, would eventually teach me to moderate the binge eating on Sunday, since overeating on Sunday can make me feel bad. In the end, this approach is teaching me to do what feels best for my body.
7:30 AM: I had some drive time this morning when I took my son to caddy at 7 and then had to return with a golf towel. After the second trip, I stopped at Starbucks. Despite my thinking I wouldn't pig out this morning, I started to do exactly that and realized that the whole point of Sundays for me was to stuff myself to the point where I could not take one more bite. That approach had lost its appeal, but I was doing it out of habit. I changed course and decided to figure out what would most appeal to me in a single food so I wouldn't just be indiscriminately stuffing myself. I went to Starbucks and got a non-caffeinated cold chocolate chip drink, and it was good! Maybe that is the sort of food I should have early on Sunday. Now I am very satisfied.
10 AM: I am still pigging out, and it's only 10 AM. I think I'm switching to having S Events rather than S Days. It may be that my body is so messed up from years of restrictive eating that this is the best I can do. And it may be that S Events as a concept will backfire. I'm going to find out because I don't think I'm going to lose any weight with how I am eating right now.
12:45 PM: It is now obvious to me that the S Event approach is appropriate. It's a way for me to stop pigging out all day and yet still have the flexibility I need to follow the diet perfectly. I never ever could have started off the diet with this approach. Now I'm ready. My pigging out habit has become nothing other than disgusting, and it's time to stop it. All those years of dieting and feeling like I'm starving all the time are over, and I'm never returning to them. Now I can eat without the drive to stuff myself. I've been like the alcoholic who doesn't care what he drinks so long as he drinks enough to get drunk. Now I'm past that stage and can focus on enjoying the food I eat.
It is such a wonderful day. In a few minutes, I will take my youngest daughter with a friend who is moving to buy a bunny that they can mail back and forth to each other with letters of what they did when they carried the bunny. Isn't this what life is all about? It's not about food. It's about friendship, family, and faith. It's sad that I've been mired in addiction to food. I feel free!
4 PM: We went to five stores to find the perfect stuffed animal, and now the girls are working on selecting a name. Is this analogous to my diet? Well, it's a stretch! I think it's taken a long time for me to recognize that eating with the goal of being stuffed has been my problem, and it was my very few days of fasting that gave me that insight. I've been somewhat methodical in my approach to trying to understand what was going on with me, just like those two girls are being painfully methodical in selecting a name. There's no going back to conventional diets for me. There's no going back to intuitive eating for me. Going forward, I see the value of fasting as a way to teach me that hunger is not a crises. It's taken me oh so long to get to this point, but I'm glad I'm here.
7:30 PM: I ate a lot more and realized that I need to be able to stuff myself every once in a while but just not six times per month. I'm going back to the idea of Fat Sunday, which is "unconditional permission to eat" on the second Sunday of the month. That should be enough.
8 PM: I need Fat Sunday as a way to transition away from stuffing myself for the sake of stuffing myself, like an person who drinks to get drunk. By limiting "unconditional permission to eat" to Fat Sunday only, I am reducing the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" from six per month (four Sundays plus two Exceptio Days) to one per month. That's quite a change. That's a bigger change than having one Fast Day. I think I'll have to put some effort into implementing these changes.
Day 5 – Monday, June 7, 2010, 5 PM: 200.6. I got yet another Teaching Company series of lectures by Professor Joseph Koterski of Fordham University. This one is on natural law, and I'm currently listening to Koterski's summary of Aristotle's virtue ethics. His summary is that the conscious choice of habits eventually creates a "second nature." The beauty of The No S Diet is that I started it with out of control bingeing as my "second nature", and now my "second nature" is N Days of three meals per day with no "portion control". I started off with 10 binge days per month (all Saturdays and Sundays plus two Exception Days), then I moved to six per month (all Sundays plus two Exception Days), and now I am working on having only one per month (Fat Sunday). It may be that I'll decide that I can have Exception Days as binge days, but I'm going to try just having Exception Events (or S Events). Despite my weight still being so high, it's really nice to sit down at the computer and reflect that I have not thought about food (except to cook it) since lunch. I'm no longer tempted to pop food into my mouth just because it is within my sight. Eating only at mealtime has become "second nature", at least on N Days!
8 PM: I sat down to dinner, a meal of turkey chili with rice. Before I had finished 1/3 of it, I realized I was full. How could that be? Was it the spices? I continued to pick at the meal until I left to take my son to the movies, and then I returned to the meal and finished abou 3/4 of it. I'm someone who scrapes the sides of a plate. How was it that I was now scraping 1/4 of a perfectly good meal into the garbage? I don't know. Is this an effect of fasting? I don't know. Correlation does not mean causation.
Day 6 – Tuesday, June 8, 2010, 6 AM: 200.6 I changed the diet yet again. Having one Sunday per month which is different from the others seemed to me to be too complicated for the habit to become "second nature". I'll have one Exception Event every Sunday and two Exeption Days per month. That means I am now reducing the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" from six (all Sundays plus two Exception Days) down to two (two Exception Days). I think all of these changes were brought on by fasting. I had a "diet backlash" reaction to fasting. Last night's decision not to finish my meal, however, indicates to me that fasting may well have the long-term benefit of making me not want to have an excessive amount of food. I'm very encouraged.
5 PM: I just read a WebMD email on the importance of vigilence in maintaining a lower weight. Ugh! Vigilence is the last thing I want. What I want is a habit that is "second nature". Today, for lunch, all I wanted was 1/2 peanut butter sandwich and milk. Why? I have no idea why. I'm thinking that fasting may have given me insight into just how little I need, and now I don't necessarily think it is a problem to have my stomach be less than stuffed by the next meal. I'm making dinner early tonight because Ellie has soccer practice, and it was no problem at all to last through the afternoon on only 1/2 peanut butter sandwich. The problem was to finish what Anne said she'd do, which was to reorganize the buckets in the two foyer closets. She did a lot of work, but she did not finish. I'm finishing, and I spent about two hours today finishing. I did not think about food all afternoon.
Day 7 – Wednesday, June 9, 2010: 198.8. Between breakfast and lunch yesterday, something happened. I seemed to lose my voracious appetite. For lunch, I had 1/2 peanut butter sandwich, and for dinner I had a grilled cheese sandwich. I also had milk at both meals. Why? I don't know. There was this day at the beginning of January of 2002 when I just suddenly wanted to eat, eat, eat... I had no idea why. I remember thinking it was strange and then just waiting for it to stop. It never did. Is it now finally stopping? Am I finally over those years of restrictive eating? I don't know. I'll have to wait and see.
5:30 PM: Yesterday was Day 639 after starting The No S Diet on 9/8/08. What I first noticed at lunch yesterday seems to be continuing. I seem to have developed a desire for feeling less than stuffed, and I think it may come from fasting, but I'm not sure. Today, I noticed several very overweight women and just felt sorry for them. I think that most people who get that heavy are those who have persisted in fighting their body's survival mechanism because conventional diets trigger a starvation reaction. I may be wrong, of course. This was the theory of Intuitive Eating, and it seemed very rational to me. My husband, however, thought I had to be kidding when I explained I felt like I was starving even though I was obese. Wouldn't it be nice if I lost weight quickly from here on out? If my attitude towards food continues, that may well be the case. I no longer want to eat to stuffed at meals. That meal at the Italian restaurant last Friday seems to have convinced me that eating to stuffed is not ideal because I woke up in the night feeling like my stomach was filled with lead.
Time will tell...This may be permanent, or it may not be. If it is, I would love to find that I'm dropping pounds quickly and easily. Wouldn't that be great? I'm holding to the basic premise that "portion control" is a failed strategy. I won't be tempted by a desire to lose weight quickly. Instead, I'm almost a bystander as I watch what my body wants. It's the emotional brain vs. the rational brain, and I'm letting the emotional brain run the show within the rules of Orderly Eating, which was established by the rational brain.
Day 9 – Friday, June 11, 2010: 197.4 I'm actually looking forward to today as a Fast Day. It almost seems restful.
5:30 PM: Easy. The day was easy. My stomach didn't growl. I didn't feel hungry. This whole experience reminds me of the cap put on the oil in the Gulf. They put on a cap with vents, and now the vents are being closed. My big adjustment was to no snacks just like the big accmplishment was putting the cap on the oil. Not eating from dinner to dinner one day is like closing the vents. I've adjusted to waiting for meals, so waiting for dinner is normal behavior.
8:30 PM: After skimming through Good Calories, Bad Calories, I now realize that the absence of carbohydrates is what resulted in the absence of hunger. It may seem illogical, but eating nothing is easier than eating little.
Day 11 – Sunday, June 13, 2010: 198.0. I wanted to make absolutely sure that I didn't feel deprived on my first day with Sunday having one Exception Event rather than "unconditional permission to eat" all day. I also convinced my 16 year old to join me in this change. We went to Starbucks, and I got a double chocolatey chip creme while she got a strawberries and creme drink. We each had a chocolate bar as well. I just looked up the calories in the drink, and it was 500 calories. The chocolate bar was 550 calories. I enjoyed them both within the hour, and now I am stuffed. I don't think the transition to one Exception Event is going to be hard at all. What I'm eliminating, finally, is unconscious eating -- the type that involves popping food in my mouth without even thinking about it.
3 PM: I'm doing great. I still feel stuffed even 4 hours after my 1,050 calorie indulgence. This is 1/4 the total of my all-time pig-out of 4,000 calories of caramel macademian clusters. Next week, I won't have as much because it's unpleasant to have a stomach feeling as stuffed as mine is now.
6 PM: It's been six and one half years since I started keeping a journal on my attempts at weight loss. I wrote 251 pages prior to starting The No S Diet in September, 2008, and I've written 100 pages since then. Finally, finally, I think I'm settled in what I'm doing. My goal is a one pound per month weight loss since September, 2008, and I'm behind now because I had a faulty scale. With the switch from an Exception Day to one Exception Event on Sundays and the addition of a fast between Thursday dinner and Friday dinner, I think I'll catch up and be able to be on track by July at 192 pounds.
I'm feeling confident that I've got the structure in place to be able to lose weight down to normal weight. If I fall behind the one pound per month weight loss goal, I can add miles to my daily exercise and/or add days of intermittent fasting. I'm so happy. I'm so relieved. Since that day in January, 2004 when I realized my daughter was going to have the same problems I did with eating, it's been my number one goal to figure out how to lose weight and keep it off easily. I think I've found the answer for me and, I hope, also for my daughter. There could be no greater motivation for me than to find a path out of obesity that my daughter could follow.
8:30 PM: I'm through my first Sunday without "unconditional permission to eat", and I think I did just fine. I plan not to make any more changes at least for a few months because the combination of only an Exception Event on Sundays and a dinner-to-dinner fast could result in a faster weight loss than one pound per month. I will stick with this approach no matter what at least through our family vacation in August.
Tonight, I told Tom that I thought I'd figured out how to lose weight permanently, and he said, "I doubt it." To his defense, I know I've said that many times in the past. Is this time different? Time will tell. I need to wait and see.
Day 12 – Monday, June 14, 2010: 198.8. I think it's over. I think I've finally figured out the key to permanent and easy weight loss: every time I eat, I eat as much as I want. The restrictions are on what I eat (no sweets except once on Sundays and all day on Exception Days) and when I eat (at meals except one additional time on Sundays and all day on Exception Days; no Friday breakfast or lunch). Because I can eat as much as I want when I do eat, there is no sense of starvation. How utterly simple. I wish it hadn't taken me so long and so much effort to figure this out, but there it is.
8:41 PM: Intermittent fasting is the way people used to experience hunger and know how much food is necessary. Now, people learn by "cutting back" or "portion control" and experiencing "diet backlash." Intermittent fasting is controlled and pre-planned. "Portion control" leads to out of control bingeing. Even before I found out about The No S Diet, I had thought that the path out of obesity might start with "controlled binges." What I hadn't realized was that I needed to learn to tolerate hunger. All those years that I thought I was learning to eat less really were wasted years when I learned to be intolerant of even the slightest indication of hunger. It's sad. It seems so obvious to me now, but I've been immsersed in cultural assumptions that were just plain wrong. Hunger is not a crises. Hunger is not painful. Learning to tolerate hunger is what enables me to be temperate. Fasting teaches temperance.
9:15 PM: Had I known this is where I would end up, I think I could have plunged into this diet right away. I was trying to limit portion sizes initially, and my reaction was all day eating on Saturdays and Sundays. Now, going forward, I think my adjustment will be relatively easy because I've already taken so many steps towards delaying eating until mealtime. I don't know that I have anything more of interest to write. Maybe I'll just update this journal once per month going forward.
Day 16 – Friday, June 18, 2010: 197.6 I went looking for the weight loss contest that I had for the kids, and it turns out that it was on Saturday, March 6, 2010 when I weighed 196.8 (according to the old scale, which proved to be inaccurate). The weigh in is for a $50 bet that will be on Friday, September 3, 2010. The predictions are:
Ellie: 5.2 pounds (prediction of 191.6)
Katie: 9 pounds (prediction of 187.8 )
Tom: pi/e or 3.14159/1.1557271 or approximately 1.1557271 (prediction of 195.6)
Anne: e, or 2.71828 (prediction of 193.3)
It's hard to look back to March and see that I thought then that I weighed less than I do now. I do think that my old scale had gotten inaccurate, and I just hadn't known it. As a result of that experience, I am trying to measure myself to make sure that the scale is accurate. Last year, at my annual physical, I weighed 199 pounds. My annual physical is next week, and I will have lost little to no weight. What I have gained is knowledge that fasting is the way to balance a philosophy of no portion control. It's over the rest of my life that I will benefit from this knowledge, and I hope that my children learn from this knowledge as well.
5 PM: Fasting almost seems restful. I'm not having any difficulty at all with it. I haven't eaten since last night, and I'm able to function just fine.
Day 17 – Saturday, June 19, 2010, 6 AM: 196.6 Last night, I had about 1/3 of my large serving of a casserole when I thought -- I don't want any more. Did I finish it? Yes, and the reason why was that I was afraid I'd get hungry before morning. That was an interesting experience. Here I was, breaking a fast, and I wasn't particularly hungry, but my mind overruled my body, and I ate. This is why I think the key to permanent weight loss is to respect my body. I need a framework for orderly eating that allows me to have no limits on portion size. If there is no limit on portion size, I can eat as much as I want and won't be afraid of getting a little hungry between meals because I know I can fully satisfy my hunger at the next meal. I'm still learning that lesson because I ate more than I wanted last night as a way to prevent hunger prior to breakfast.
I'm not particularly hungry this morning. Having gone 24 hours without food, I don't have to worry so much about getting hungry between meals. I know I can handle a 24 hour fast, so I certainly can handle a fast between breakfast and lunch just in case I didn't have quite enough to satisfy myself at breakfast. It strikes me that my prior way of eating (with portion control) created a constant sense of panic, a constant sense that I need even more to avoid real pain. It's all nonsense. I bought into a cultural assumption that hunger is terribly painful. My experience yesterday was that it was restful to go for a day without eating.
9 AM: I just realized that today's weight was my low from last summer.
6 PM: This is just getting better and better. It seems to me that I am desiring different foods because of the fasting. I don't want heavy foods. Tonight, I'm making a bean-based stew. The kids are not sharing my desire for this type of food. Is it possible that the fasting is a cause of this shift in what I desire, or is this just a correlation? I don't know. If I end up desiring less and desiring foods that are good for me, what could be better? I'm no longer fighting my body. It's a wonderful feeling.
The other day, I pulled an ad out of the June issue of Ladies Home Journal. In it, a pill was being promoted that would relieve diet stress. How sad!
Here is an excerpt from that ad: "As it turns out, the same diet that's helping you lose weight might actually be causing you to retain figure-destroying belly fat. That's because dieting is stressful. You worry about what to eat... when to eat... how much to eat. All that worry leads to "diet stress"...Thse groundbreaking compounds are not really diet pills in the true sense of the word. Instead, they help traditional diet and exercise programs reduce tummy bulge by controlling diet-related stress and anxiety...the same stress and anxiety that can lead to stubborn belly fat retention (not to mentiona that all-time diet killer "Nervous Binge Eating")."
This ad just mades me very sad. I have a father who is still hounding me about my weight, even though I'm 51 years old! We have a family reunion next month, and he's been telling me that I'm not really serious about losing weight because I've only lost 20 pounds. What he doesn't understand, because he has succeeded by his iron will at keeping his weight low and fighting his body's desire to survive, is that this way of eating is a different way of life. It's not just about the weight. In fact, it's mostly not about the weight. It's about respect for my body. Actually, it's more about respecting myself rather than relying on outside authorities to tell me what to do. I've often thought that the defining characteristic of the obese is gullibility, and this ad supports my theory. People want to take a pill to help solve the problems caused by following diets that don't respect their bodies' needs, and -- surprise -- it's stressful! I'm so glad I'm out of that mess.
Day 18 – Sunday, June 20, 2010, 6 AM: 197.8. It's hard to believe that I used to hang on until midnight and the start of the all-weekend binge. Today, I'll have carrot cake, which is not a favorite of mine but is one of my husband's. It's Father's Day, after all, and we're making Tom his favorite cake. I may have some chocolate with it, but it's not as if I'm counting the hours until I can have a sweet. To be relieved of the burden of wanting more and more and more food is such a blessing. It really seems to be working to have an S Event only on Sundays rather than an S Day on Sundays.
Day 19 – Monday, June 21, 2010, 3 PM: 198.0. I was reading through a book called The Pritiken Edge about how it can be very satisfying to eat foods with high water content, and so this morning I had some hot cereal. It was very filling! For lunch, I had soup and 1/2 sandwich. I may try to move towards more food with high water content. I also decided to order a pedometer so that I can vary where I walk. With having such low expectations of losing only one pound per month, I can experiment and still make up for time lost due to failed experiments. Today, on a Monday, I'm only four pounds above my goal of 194 for the month. By Saturday, I should be down at least two pounds. I hope to be back on track by July or August at the latest.
7 PM: I felt strangely hungry this evening, so I had a large meal plus an entire bowl of popcorn. That's just fine. I'm following the letter of this diet, and that's all I need.
Day 20 – Tuesday, June 22, 2010, 6:30 AM: 198.2 I'm feeling impatient about the slow rate of weight loss, so I'm going to look at increasing physical activity. I'd like to use a pedomenter to increase the number of steps I take, and I'd like to look at developing a strengthening exercise program. At some point, I'll add Wednesday as a fast day, but not yet. My hope is that my weight for the first of July will at least be 197, so that I'm closer to my weight goal (four pounds over weight goal of 193), than I was in June (at 200 pounds, I was six pounds over my weight goal of 194 pounds).
8:30 PM: Very spur of the moment, I decided to have two Dove chocolate ice cream bars and a banana. I think I can manage social situations very well while following this diet, but I want to be able to have whatever I want whenever I want, and these Exception Days give me the flexibility to do just that. It's like having money to spend on whatever I want, even if it might seem foolish to others. For example, last year I spent about $170 on a 16 inch 14K gold chain that I wear all the time with an Irish K. I love it. Having Exception Days is like being able to spend that much money twice per month!
9 PM: I just cannot stand being so fat, so I'm going to go for a two time per week fast -- Wednesday and Friday.
Day 21 – Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 5 AM: 199.0. Reading through Healthy at Any Size triggered a binge and then a decision to fast an extra day. I panicked. The book brought back memories of trying to eat when hungry, of all the belly-gazing associated with rating hunger. I was up at 3:30 AM reading through the book. Ugh. I need to calm down and give this idea of one fast per week a chance to work.
10:30 AM: I tried an Ornish recipe last night, and it bombed. I think the Pritiken approach for meals might be better. The basic strategy is low calorie density, so you focus on having foods that have a high water content. I'll try one of those recipes tonight.
2 PM: Now I'm down to only one Exception Day. What am I doing? I don't know. I think I need to calm down and just stick with this program. Since I'm impatient to get to my goal weight, which will be 193 in one week, I think I should focus on exercise and not on changing my diet. I haven't yet gotten a pedometer but think I'll try 10,000 steps per day.
630 PM: I think I've backed my way into understanding what I want out of a diet:
1. No portion control so I don't feel as though I am starving all the time.
2. Guaranteed weight loss if I follow the letter of the law even if I violate the spirit of the law to a shameful degree.
With my diet, I've managed to achieve objective #1 but not objective #2, so I'm changing the diet to include:
1 53 Fast Days between now and the end of the year, which can be done on any Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, and
2. An average of 10,000 steps per day.
The pedometer hasn't shipped yet, so I'll just count the number of times I go on my one mile walk and the retroactively add steps. I am sick of being fat, and I want to change my behavior so I'm down in weight. I do think that forming habits of thinness is the key to weight loss, not willpower, but I'm still trying to figure out what habits I need!
I am a middle-aged woman who is 5'6.5" tall. How much exercise and how many calories I need are not the same as how much exercise and calories needed by a teenage boy (whom I observe simply inhales food) or my 80+ year old parents or anyone else. I do think that the concept of having habits is applicable to everyone, but that is out of deference to Aristotle, who promoted a virtue ethics based on habits.
10:30 PM: What a day! Do I reset my count to Day 1 tomorrow? No. I think not. I'm just making an adjustment. The big leaps have been to add walking to my program and to add Fast Days. I'm doubling the number of Fast Days and changing how I determine the amount I walk. That's all. I read in a book called Healthy at 100 by a man named Robins that there is a saying in a community of particularly healthy elderly in the mountains of Ecuador. The saying is this: "You have two doctors -- your left leg and your right leg." I like that. There is no substitute for exercise.
Day 22 – Thursday, June 24, 2010: I'm not sure if my choice of habits is sustainable for long, but I can follow them for six months -- through the end of the year -- and I'm confident following these habits will result in weight loss. I wish I had a pedometer now, but I don't, so I'm going to try average four miles per day of walking. As for weighing myself, is it necessary anymore? I can weigh myself once per month. At this point, I'd rather spend my time walking than reading or journalling. Enough is enough. It's time to get moving!
3:30 PM: Oh, my. I'm down to no more Exception Days. Clearly, I've spiraled out of control. Why? I think I blew it -- I should have settled into one Fast Day per week rather than stretch for two, and I should have waited for the pedometer and then start to add walking time. OK. I'm going back to what I was doing. I need to give myself time.
Day 23 – Friday, June 25, 2010: Talk about discouraging! I had my annual physical this morning, and I weighed in at 201, which is two pounds more than I weighed last year. It's also only 10 pounds less than I weighed two years ago because I wasn't yet at my highest weight. I am going to put as much of an optimistic spin on this as I can: Like Thomas Edison, I've found a lot of things that don't work!
Today is a Fast Day, and I am finding that I actually like fasting. It feels restful. I also think that it somehow helps me to want foods that are better for me because I want lighter foods. I have been experimenting with different types of foods like Ornish and Pritiken, and I think Pritiken might strike the right balance between tasty and healthful. I've dumped a lot of food into the trash, and the Pritiken approach is at least edible for the kids. It has an emphasis on low calorie denisty foods. I won't follow it strictly because I want to have peanut butter and nuts like almonds, but I will try to use recipes for dinners in particular.
I also have concluded that I need to exercise more. The one mile route that I have taken twice per day with my dog is getting very boring. That's why I decided to get a pedometer. I can then measure how much I walk without having to drive around and create routes using the van to measure distance.
If there is one thing my journal has done, it has proven that people who are obese aren't necessarily unconcerned and unmotivated. It's really, really difficult to lose weight. I've put a condition on my eating that makes losing weight even more difficult, and that condition is "no portion control." I think I ended up binge eating because of portion control, and my first priority is orderly eating. Weight loss is only my second priority.
I think fasting once per week is going to help a lot with putting food into perspective in my life. In reading through some religious books on fasting, I have found that there is a great deal of emphasis on the importance and necessity of fasting. One Greek Orthodox priest, for example, said "Without fasting there is no church." I am frankly puzzled by a statement like that. It makes no sense whatever to me. I suspect that, as I make fasting a part of my life, I will better understand it. What I can understand so far is this: A focus on eating as soon as you experience hunger means you are putting a first priority on self-comfort. With fasting, you learn to delay your own needs.
3 PM: I decided to follow the Greek Orthodox approach of breaking the fast at 3 PM, so I had what amounted to lunch at 3 PM.
Day 24 – Saturday, June 26, 2010: 199.0 After an entire year at this weight, I think I have to face the reality that something has to change. I can exercise. I can fast. Is this enough? I think I'll try making Pritiken meals. While the Pritiken approach empahsizes several meals per day, I'm sticking with three. I'm just going to try making their dinners.
7 PM: I've been in a downward spiral before, and today is no exception. Pritiken is fundamentally opposed to The No S Diet because the whole point is you eat what is recommended rather than what you want. I tried snacking on vegetables, as recommended by Pritiken, and I ended up gorging on cheese slices, Cheerios, dried cherries, and whatever else was in the cabinet. I'm returning to Orderly Eating with a Friday fast.
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010, 2 AM: There was a lot of wisdom in the book Intuitive Eating, and one thing it said was that focusing on weight loss backfires. I think that I just proved that point in the last several days. I have to give up even on my one pound per month goal and just focus on Orderly Eating. I need to focus on habits, not goals. A monthly weigh-in will give me feedback on how well-ordered are my habits, and that feedback may lead to a change in habit, but the focus still needs to be on habit and not on reaching a specific weight at a specific time. My life has been consumed by weight loss, and here I am obese. It is so sad.
I think I'll give this Orderly Eating approach an entire year, with my only tweaking being on my exercise program. This will give me some breathing room to focus on other people, like my husband and children. I feel so guilty about being so consumed by weight loss. A lot of my motivation has been to find a sane approach to weight maintenance so my daughter doesn't repeat my problems in her own life. Still, part of the reason for Orderly Eating is so that eating and weight maintenance can become like background music, a part of my life but not the focus of it.
10 AM: I can't find the directions for taking our 9 year old to Girl Scout Camp today, and I just found out from my son that he's in danger of not being able to caddy after July 1 if he isn't able to caddy three more times. He had a Boy Scout Pancake Breakfast yesterday, and an all-day volunteer activity yesterday for Boy Scouts and tomorrow for a park & rec program. He volunteered every weekday last week for the church's Vacation Bible School. As with the kids, it's a matter of priorities for me. My son put too much emphasis on volunteering (which I cannot exactly condemn), and I've put too much emphasis on weight management. The result: the sound of balls dropping.
It's just a gut feel, but I think that my problem is that I never experience hunger because I eat every meal to full satisfaction. A once-weekly 24 hour fast would give me the opportunity to experience some emptying of my stomach. I think fasting is what I need. I won't know, however, unless I try it. I think I need to try it for quite some time, so I'm putting a one year mortatorium on changes to the diet. I'll follow the Orderly Eating approach. If I get nervous about slow weight loss, I can try tweaking exercise.
7:30 PM: Our son missed Mass so he could caddy, and I brought him to church and went to get gas while he was at church. I went into the convenience store and felt like an addict looking for candy. I left to go to Walgreen's and got a PayDay. Then I went to Target and got a double chocolate chip drink from the Starbucks there and bought a Snickers bar as I was leaving. When I got home, I had some pizza and an entire bowl of popcorn. Why? I realized that the reason was that I had given up "unconditional permission to eat" on Sundays. I decided to let myself have one Sunday per month as a day of "unconditional permission to eat."
I also realized that I'm having some problems with Fast Days. In a society in which everyone fasts on Friday, sure, I'd have no problem. Looking forward, however, I see problems. I'm going to have significant social pressure to eat on Fridays before dinner, so I'm setting myself up to fail if I have a goal of no eating until dinner on Fridays. Instead, I'm giving myself the opportunity to fast on some Wednesdays and Fridays, with the goal of 52 Fast Days in 12 months. This flexibility will make me more able to achieve the goal of fasting. I think it's critically important.
While I am revising my diet once more, I am not restarting numbering to Day 1. The reason why is that I see the big change in the diet as adding Fast Days. This month has been a month of tweaking and tweaking. I hope I'm done and can go forward now.
Day 25 – Sunday, June 27, 2010: Another sleepless night. I am so stuffed with food that I can't sleep. Nearly two years ago now, I pinned all my hopes on The No S Diet. It wasn't enough. Now I'm pinning all my hopes on a modification which includes Fast Days. Will it be enough? I don't know. I did make progress with The No S Diet. I stopped gaining weight and even lost some weight. I stopped thinking constantly about food. I no longer felt like I was starving all the time. Now, with fasting, I hope that I can learn to tolerate hunger. I hope that I can bring order to the disordered eating of more than 30 years. I hope that my children can learn from my mistakes and can live in this society of disordered eating. They know what doesn't work because they have observed me. I hope they learn what can work.
Day 26 – Monday, June 28, 2010: I decided to make a little tweak in the accounting of Fast Days so that I substract one for every Friday and try to stay above zero. For the rest of this month, there are no Fridays, so I have 0 Fast Days. Starting on July 1, there are five Fridays in July, so I'll subtract 5 from my ending balance. As I take a Fast Day, I'll add one. By the end of July, I'll want to be above 0.
Today I also bought some Asics running shoes. They are very comfortable. I'll get a pedometer later this week. My attention will turn now to an exercise program.
Day 28 – Wednesday, June 30, 2010: I revised my Orderly Eating approach to clarify how I track Fast Days. Reinhard distinguishes between S Days and N Days and has nothing to track. I've made this a lot more complicated with Normal Days, Fast Days, Feast Days, Exception Days and Fat Sundays. I'm also tracking Fast Days, Exception Days, and Fat Sundays. That's OK. This approach appeals to my analytical nature. It also gives me something to do other than weigh myself, which I think it would be best to do just once per month. The focus for me needs to be on habits, not results. I've read up on fasting practices for the Greek Orthodox faith, and this faith has all sorts of types of days for fasting. There's a rhythm to what the Greek Orthodox do in managing their eating habits. That's what I'm trying to imitate. My approach isn't exactly mindless, but it will require minimal effort. I bought a pocket planner starting tomorrow (July 1, 2010) and going through the end of 2011. I'll use that planner to track the balance on the Exception Days, Fast Days, and Fat Sundays.
Will this work? I don't know. I feel optimistic, but -- then again -- I'm always feeling optimistic about losing weight! Failure is not an option! A tidbit I got from the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Thin is the author's observation that those who lose weight and keep it off are those who persist despite repeated failures. Well, I'm in that camp! I simply am not giving up!
I think that, in my attempts at weight loss, I made no progress at all until I read the Intuitive Eating book and gained an appreciation for why binge eating is more a normal physical and uncontrollable reaction to starvation than it is any sort of psychological or emotional abnormality. The next big jump in progress was reading Kelly Brownell's book Food Fight which gave me the idea that I needed to set up my own personal environment to protect myself from the cultural environment that promotes obesity. After that, reading The No S Diet was like crossing the Continental Divide: I appreciated that starting to eat based on an external trigger (like mealtime -- what a concept!) could help me to normalize my eating. Finally, I've come to appreciate the religious wisdom of fasting as a way to tolerate hunger and learn how much my body needs to eat. I know that there are more steps to treating my body with respect because I know that the next step for me is to develop an exercise program!
12 PM: I think I'm taking baby steps now and just having a Fast Day be one in which I don't eat from after dinner the night before until lunch rather than dinner. Someday, I'll expand it to mean no breakfast or lunch on a Fast Day.
12:30 PM: I'm restarting my numbering tomorrow with fasts from one dinner to the next.
9 PM: What a day! I was in the van continuously from 1 PM thorugh 8 PM except for about 45 minutes. Still, I managed to grab food when I wasn't in the van, and I am now stuffed. I changed the diet yet again, but I'm not restarting the numbering. I decided that I should allow myself (N Days) days of no snacks and no sweets, days of "unconditional permission to eat" (Exception Days or Fat Sundays), or days of one meal (Fast Days). I will allow myself a Fat Sunday for every Fast Day.
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:47 am, edited 125 times in total.
Hi Kathleen,
I enjoy reading your posts and I think you are doing a great job. I was just wondering if you had read "Health at every size" by Linda Bacon. I am reading it now and I don't know what to think. By reading your posts I know that you are someone who thinks about things deeply and I was wondering (if you had read it) what your thoughts were.
I enjoy reading your posts and I think you are doing a great job. I was just wondering if you had read "Health at every size" by Linda Bacon. I am reading it now and I don't know what to think. By reading your posts I know that you are someone who thinks about things deeply and I was wondering (if you had read it) what your thoughts were.
This version of myself is not permanent, tomorrow I will be different. --BEP
Kathleen,
I hope that reading it isn't a waste of your time. I don't really know what I think of it, so I hesitate to say it will help anyone. It has a sort of intuitive eating slant to it but it's more than that. Maybe you can just skim it a little to see if it interests you at all or if you think its points are unrealistic.
I hope that reading it isn't a waste of your time. I don't really know what I think of it, so I hesitate to say it will help anyone. It has a sort of intuitive eating slant to it but it's more than that. Maybe you can just skim it a little to see if it interests you at all or if you think its points are unrealistic.
This version of myself is not permanent, tomorrow I will be different. --BEP
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Good Calories Bad Calories by Gary Taubes
Kathleen,
A book that should not be missed is:Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes,
which contains exceptional research on the History of Obesity/Dieting.
He is a journalist specializing in scientific controversy,
with two impressive prior publications, one of which is on physics.
My recollection is that he has a physics degree from Harvard,
an engineering degree from Stanford, and a journalism degree from Columbia.
Although the "mainline" has not accepted his ultimate conclusions,
all factions appear to be quite impressed by his superb synopsis
of his 7 years of researching the past 150 years of obesity/dieting Research.
Some find it a bit of a "hard read". It ends with a Bibliography of about 100 pages.
However in his University Lectures, he hits the book's main points.
This Dartmouth lecture (7 parts) last summer is interesting.
It is very similiar to his UC Berkley lecture the previous year, and just a bit shorter.
That lecture can be found at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIGV9VOOtew
A book that should not be missed is:Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes,
which contains exceptional research on the History of Obesity/Dieting.
He is a journalist specializing in scientific controversy,
with two impressive prior publications, one of which is on physics.
My recollection is that he has a physics degree from Harvard,
an engineering degree from Stanford, and a journalism degree from Columbia.
Although the "mainline" has not accepted his ultimate conclusions,
all factions appear to be quite impressed by his superb synopsis
of his 7 years of researching the past 150 years of obesity/dieting Research.
Some find it a bit of a "hard read". It ends with a Bibliography of about 100 pages.
However in his University Lectures, he hits the book's main points.
This Dartmouth lecture (7 parts) last summer is interesting.
It is very similiar to his UC Berkley lecture the previous year, and just a bit shorter.
That lecture can be found at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIGV9VOOtew
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
Now I am recalling that, after our fourth child was born, I tried following diet in The Pritiken Principle, a low fat high carb diet. It was easy, and I lost most of my pregnancy weight fairly quickly. I came home from the hospital weighing 192 (funny how I can remember something like that so exactly, but I was appalled!) and weighed 155 on the day my body quite simply rebelled.
Now the opposite is being triggered. I've allowed myself unlimited pigging out on junk food on Sundays, and now I'm moving effortlessly towards low cal high carb foods. Tonight, I had almonds, cherries, and a turkey sandwich.
I'm only on segment 4 of 7 of the Dartmouth lectures, but I'm thinking this is going to a discussion of what types of calories you have as having an impact on obesity.
Kathleen
OK, I listened to all of it, and I think I have learned a respect for my body that I didn't have when I was following conventional diets. I think the Atkins approach is very disrespectful because people crave carbohydrates and deny it to their bodies. Plus, of course, the long term weight loss results of Atkins is poor. I've got a book on aging, and the populations with people who live to a healthy old age tend to have a high carbohydrate low fat diet. I think this doctor is right that low carbohydrates can result in quick weight loss, but it tends not to be sustained.
My personal view is that changing the timing of eating has really helped me to move towards a low fat diet. It may be that emptying my stomach changes what I desire. Last Friday, when I had a meal at an Italian restaurant, I felt disguested afterwards. I no longer like high fat meals. There is no craving. I can have whatever I want. I just have to wait to have what I want.
I have a great deal of respect for my Catholic faith and think that a lot of religious practices might be based on human nature. Fasting used to be a big part of Catholicism, but it was watered down in the 1960s. Now I'm trying to understand the fasting requirements of the Greek Orthodox faith.
Now I am recalling that, after our fourth child was born, I tried following diet in The Pritiken Principle, a low fat high carb diet. It was easy, and I lost most of my pregnancy weight fairly quickly. I came home from the hospital weighing 192 (funny how I can remember something like that so exactly, but I was appalled!) and weighed 155 on the day my body quite simply rebelled.
Now the opposite is being triggered. I've allowed myself unlimited pigging out on junk food on Sundays, and now I'm moving effortlessly towards low cal high carb foods. Tonight, I had almonds, cherries, and a turkey sandwich.
I'm only on segment 4 of 7 of the Dartmouth lectures, but I'm thinking this is going to a discussion of what types of calories you have as having an impact on obesity.
Kathleen
OK, I listened to all of it, and I think I have learned a respect for my body that I didn't have when I was following conventional diets. I think the Atkins approach is very disrespectful because people crave carbohydrates and deny it to their bodies. Plus, of course, the long term weight loss results of Atkins is poor. I've got a book on aging, and the populations with people who live to a healthy old age tend to have a high carbohydrate low fat diet. I think this doctor is right that low carbohydrates can result in quick weight loss, but it tends not to be sustained.
My personal view is that changing the timing of eating has really helped me to move towards a low fat diet. It may be that emptying my stomach changes what I desire. Last Friday, when I had a meal at an Italian restaurant, I felt disguested afterwards. I no longer like high fat meals. There is no craving. I can have whatever I want. I just have to wait to have what I want.
I have a great deal of respect for my Catholic faith and think that a lot of religious practices might be based on human nature. Fasting used to be a big part of Catholicism, but it was watered down in the 1960s. Now I'm trying to understand the fasting requirements of the Greek Orthodox faith.
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
I think more information provides more personal options.Kathleen wrote:BrightAngel,
OK, I listened to all of it.
I, too, have an interest in the concept of fasting intermittently.
I have never been a "low-carb" person,
but whether one agrees with the conclusions that Gary Taubes reached
about the relationship between insulin and obesity, or not,
his book is definitely worth reading.
The history of the development of our current scientific "truths" re obesity is facinating.
If you enjoyed that Dartmouth Lecture,
you also might enjoy this Stanford Lecture about a related Research Project.
As with all such research projects, findings are limited,
but I found it very interesting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eREuZEdM ... re=related
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I, too, think that it's good to consider the viewpoints of those whose opinion differ from yours and especially to listen to understand. I preach that to our kids all the time. I will like that Reinhard encourages people to experiment with combining ideas from other diets with The No S Diet and even said he might put Fast Day on the HabitCal!
As for me, I think intermittent fasting is important, and I'm starting with one day -- Fridays. Can I ask how you manage intermittent fasting? Thanks.
Kathleen
I, too, think that it's good to consider the viewpoints of those whose opinion differ from yours and especially to listen to understand. I preach that to our kids all the time. I will like that Reinhard encourages people to experiment with combining ideas from other diets with The No S Diet and even said he might put Fast Day on the HabitCal!
As for me, I think intermittent fasting is important, and I'm starting with one day -- Fridays. Can I ask how you manage intermittent fasting? Thanks.
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
When using the Webster definition of Fasting as:Kathleen wrote:BrightAngel, Can I ask how you manage intermittent fasting?
"to eat sparingly or abstain from some foods",
I've had a variety of experiences with it.
When I was in my 20s, for about a 6 month period I did a "water fast" once a week,
eating zero food or drink from Sunday dinner to Tuesday breakfast.
Since that time, I've not been able to make myself do a "full" day's fast.
During the past 4 years, I've experimented with Intermittent Fasting in several ways.
Basically, I tried several "recommended" ways,
and then tried "tweaks" on those recommended ways.
One way was the 19 hr daily fast of "Fast-5", there's a free e-book on line about that,
but essentially it is setting a 5 hr window of time within the day,
and eating nothing except non-caloric beverages outside that window.
Another way was the 24 hr once or twice a week fast of "Eat Stop Eat"
which essentially is no food after dinner until dinner-time the following day.
I found Brad Pilon's $40 e-book interesting and worth the money.
Interesting concepts, and I've read it carefully several times.
He has a Blog which he frequently updates,
I frequently read it, while ignoring his interest in body-building.
The way with which I've experimented most often is
sometimes a 3-day-a-week,
and sometimes an alternate-day plan,
in which my calorie levels alternate between very low and normal.
Since my Habit is to log all my food into a computer software program daily,
the higher/lower calories of alternate day food intake are easy to track.
Either alternate day, "fasting", or Monday/Wednesday/Friday "fasting"
"Fasting" (for me) being defined as from 300 to 700 total day's calorie intake
...which is timed by my normal eating schedule.
This means eating very tiny amounts of food at mealtimes.
"Normal" eating (for me) being from 1100-1400 total day's calorie intake,
which is a bit higher than my total daily energy burn.
These "fasting" methods are based on the "QOD" method, and the "JUDDD" method
with my own "tweaks".
QOD is based on "The QOD Diet" by Dr. Daugiras,
JUDDD is based on "The Alternate Day Diet" by Dr. Johnson.
Both have websites.
I've found no method of "fasting" to be beneficial for weight-loss UNLESS
the non-fasting days remain at the "normal" level of food intake.
When food-intake is much higher than "normal" on non-fasting days,
one's weight will remain the same (depending on one's "weekly average" intake),
or will result in weight-gain when one strays into the "binge-fast" cycle.
Personally, I seldom "binge", but occasionally I overeat (eat more calories than my body burns in energy),
and this requires compensatory very low-calorie days in order to maintain my current weight.
The Main disadvantage of Intermittent fasting is that one's body doesn't adjust to eliminate Hunger.
The Main advantange of Intermittent fasting is that one's body doesn't drop it's metabolism due to low-food intake.
For some time I've been mentally debating about
the psychological vs. the physical issues of Weight-Control.
In fact...I'm leaning toward it actually being a "physical" issue rather than a "psychological" issue.
Certainly weight control, for me and for many others, requires specific food behaviors,
but is that requirement primarily due to physiological causes NOT psychological causes?
After you've read Gary Taubes book, and the history of Obesity Research
I'd be interested in discussing that issue further with you.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
Thanks for your explanation of your approaches to fasting. I read The Alternate Day Diet but haven't read The QOD Diet.
I did pick up Good Calories, Bad Calories this afternoon and skimmed through it. My resistance to an Atkins type diet is based on my many years of contact with my sister in law who goes on Atkins, loses weight, and then regains it. That is the story with many followers of Atkins. It also broke my heart to see my son's Scoutmaster, a man who is as big as he is big-hearted, scooping up lots of meat and no carbs at a meal last summer at Boy Scout camp. An approach of eat what you want of limited foods doesn't seem to address the core problem of temperance.
The book was interesting to the extent that I learned something about fasting. This is from page 341: "Total starvation -- i.e., fasting, or eating nothing at all -- and carbohydrate restriction had much in common. In both cases, our carbohydrate reserves are used up quickly, and we have to rely on protein and fat for fuel. When we fast, the the protein and fat come from our muscle and fat tissue; when we restrict carbohydrates, they're provided by the diet as well.. The metabolic responses of the body are virtually identical....
There is "little hunger" during prolonged starvation...This experience contrasted most dramatically with the hunger and suffering described by individuals who, over a prolonged period, consume a calorically inadequate diet...
The implication is that we will experience no hunger if we eat nothing at all -- zero calories -- and our cells are fuled by the protein and fat from our muscle and fat tissue. If we break our fast with any amount of dietary protein and fat, we'll still feel no hunger. But if we add carbohydrates...we'll be overwhelmed with hunger and will now suffer all the symptoms of food deprivation."
Elsewhere in the book, there is a description of people put on an 800 calorie no carb diet who experience no hunger but then feel famished when 400 additional calories of carbs are added.
What this means to me is that it is now understandable that I can feel less hungry eating nothing at all than I have when I've tried to follow a 1,000 calorie per day diet. It would be logical to think that I would feel less hungry the more I ate, and that isn't true because it is the intake of carbohydrates that can cause hunger.
I think there is something fundamentally disrespectful of the body in restricting the type of food you eat and the amount you eat. That attitude, of course, led me to Intuitive Eating. Changing my approach from one of "deny" to one of "delay" has made me very content and yet I have needed something more to lose the weight I want. That's why I'm trying intermittent fasting, and I'm finding it much easier than I had thought.
I do think my natural inclination more to philosophy and to religion makes it hard for me to accept scientific arguments. I'm listening now to tapes on natural law, and one of the four cardinal virtues is temperance. Temperance isn't so easy to define as you would think, and great thinkers have had different ideas about it. I like the idea of defining temperance as being willing to fast, perhaps weekly. That creates a certain detachment from food.
As you pointed out in your post above, fasting is unlikely to result in weight loss if you just make up for the fast by overeating on other days. That's the big question for me. Will my one day per week fast actually dampen my eating on other days?
My experience over the past few weeks has been that my Sunday and Exception Day eating has been much worse than normal. It's also been painful -- I've managed to experience stomach aches again. While my original intent was only to add intermittent fasting to my prior approach, I've now decided to make Sundays into days with one Exception Event rather than an all day feeding frenzy.
I think adding intermittent fasting was significant enough that I restarted my count for days on the diet. I'm actually on a new diet. What additional changes this will cause remains to be seen...
Kathleen
Thanks for your explanation of your approaches to fasting. I read The Alternate Day Diet but haven't read The QOD Diet.
I did pick up Good Calories, Bad Calories this afternoon and skimmed through it. My resistance to an Atkins type diet is based on my many years of contact with my sister in law who goes on Atkins, loses weight, and then regains it. That is the story with many followers of Atkins. It also broke my heart to see my son's Scoutmaster, a man who is as big as he is big-hearted, scooping up lots of meat and no carbs at a meal last summer at Boy Scout camp. An approach of eat what you want of limited foods doesn't seem to address the core problem of temperance.
The book was interesting to the extent that I learned something about fasting. This is from page 341: "Total starvation -- i.e., fasting, or eating nothing at all -- and carbohydrate restriction had much in common. In both cases, our carbohydrate reserves are used up quickly, and we have to rely on protein and fat for fuel. When we fast, the the protein and fat come from our muscle and fat tissue; when we restrict carbohydrates, they're provided by the diet as well.. The metabolic responses of the body are virtually identical....
There is "little hunger" during prolonged starvation...This experience contrasted most dramatically with the hunger and suffering described by individuals who, over a prolonged period, consume a calorically inadequate diet...
The implication is that we will experience no hunger if we eat nothing at all -- zero calories -- and our cells are fuled by the protein and fat from our muscle and fat tissue. If we break our fast with any amount of dietary protein and fat, we'll still feel no hunger. But if we add carbohydrates...we'll be overwhelmed with hunger and will now suffer all the symptoms of food deprivation."
Elsewhere in the book, there is a description of people put on an 800 calorie no carb diet who experience no hunger but then feel famished when 400 additional calories of carbs are added.
What this means to me is that it is now understandable that I can feel less hungry eating nothing at all than I have when I've tried to follow a 1,000 calorie per day diet. It would be logical to think that I would feel less hungry the more I ate, and that isn't true because it is the intake of carbohydrates that can cause hunger.
I think there is something fundamentally disrespectful of the body in restricting the type of food you eat and the amount you eat. That attitude, of course, led me to Intuitive Eating. Changing my approach from one of "deny" to one of "delay" has made me very content and yet I have needed something more to lose the weight I want. That's why I'm trying intermittent fasting, and I'm finding it much easier than I had thought.
I do think my natural inclination more to philosophy and to religion makes it hard for me to accept scientific arguments. I'm listening now to tapes on natural law, and one of the four cardinal virtues is temperance. Temperance isn't so easy to define as you would think, and great thinkers have had different ideas about it. I like the idea of defining temperance as being willing to fast, perhaps weekly. That creates a certain detachment from food.
As you pointed out in your post above, fasting is unlikely to result in weight loss if you just make up for the fast by overeating on other days. That's the big question for me. Will my one day per week fast actually dampen my eating on other days?
My experience over the past few weeks has been that my Sunday and Exception Day eating has been much worse than normal. It's also been painful -- I've managed to experience stomach aches again. While my original intent was only to add intermittent fasting to my prior approach, I've now decided to make Sundays into days with one Exception Event rather than an all day feeding frenzy.
I think adding intermittent fasting was significant enough that I restarted my count for days on the diet. I'm actually on a new diet. What additional changes this will cause remains to be seen...
Kathleen
Hi BrightAngel,
Well, with our two older kids out, we're housebound, so I was able to listen to the Stanford lecture on The Battle of the Diets. I have two main impressions:
- The percent weight loss for all of the diets is surprisingly low at the one year mark. I can be satisfied with my weight loss even though it's been slow.
- I thought the Ornish Diet might be a good one for me to consider, but this lecture convinced me that maybe it's not a good approach.
I read a book called AntiCancer which led me to a book on foods that fight cancer, and I have tried adding some of the listed foods to my diet -- foods like strawberries, almonds, and red wine. I then got a big book on the top foods for your health, and I try to have those foods available in our home.
My unconventional view is that an approach of "portion control" is what leads to bingeing and so to obesity. That's been my personal experience but may not be universal. As a result, I've tried unconventional approaches to losing weight, and I seem to have found a good approach in limiting when I eat. I can eat as much as I want when I eat, but I limit when I eat. I also can have whatever I want, but I limit sweets to Sundays and two other days per month.
My starting point is no restriction on amount or type of food eaten, but limitation on when I eat. It makes my head spin to listen to MUFA/PUFA/omega 3 vs. omega 6. I want to be aware of what foods are good for me so that I try to include them if possible. For example, tonight I had some strawberries at dinner. I can't remember why strawberries are good for you.
It's Friday night, and I am planning to stop at Starbucks on Sunday to have another chocolate chip drink because I so enjoyed one last week. I would never last on trying to calculate 10% of fat in my diet. It spoils the enjoyment of something like a chocolate chip drink from Starbucks. I don't want to know the calories in that drink. I don't want to know the fat percent in that drink. I don't want to know the energy density, the glycemic index, etc., etc., etc. I just want to enjoy it on Sunday morning!
The end of the lecture is about how adherence is the biggest problem with dieting. I agree. I think that having a diet that is easy is the most important factor in successful dieting. My approach has been to find a diet that is easy and then work on effectiveness. I'm salivating thinking about that drink I'm going to have on Sunday morning. There's no deprivation with my diet. There is with Atkins.
Kathleen
Well, with our two older kids out, we're housebound, so I was able to listen to the Stanford lecture on The Battle of the Diets. I have two main impressions:
- The percent weight loss for all of the diets is surprisingly low at the one year mark. I can be satisfied with my weight loss even though it's been slow.
- I thought the Ornish Diet might be a good one for me to consider, but this lecture convinced me that maybe it's not a good approach.
I read a book called AntiCancer which led me to a book on foods that fight cancer, and I have tried adding some of the listed foods to my diet -- foods like strawberries, almonds, and red wine. I then got a big book on the top foods for your health, and I try to have those foods available in our home.
My unconventional view is that an approach of "portion control" is what leads to bingeing and so to obesity. That's been my personal experience but may not be universal. As a result, I've tried unconventional approaches to losing weight, and I seem to have found a good approach in limiting when I eat. I can eat as much as I want when I eat, but I limit when I eat. I also can have whatever I want, but I limit sweets to Sundays and two other days per month.
My starting point is no restriction on amount or type of food eaten, but limitation on when I eat. It makes my head spin to listen to MUFA/PUFA/omega 3 vs. omega 6. I want to be aware of what foods are good for me so that I try to include them if possible. For example, tonight I had some strawberries at dinner. I can't remember why strawberries are good for you.
It's Friday night, and I am planning to stop at Starbucks on Sunday to have another chocolate chip drink because I so enjoyed one last week. I would never last on trying to calculate 10% of fat in my diet. It spoils the enjoyment of something like a chocolate chip drink from Starbucks. I don't want to know the calories in that drink. I don't want to know the fat percent in that drink. I don't want to know the energy density, the glycemic index, etc., etc., etc. I just want to enjoy it on Sunday morning!
The end of the lecture is about how adherence is the biggest problem with dieting. I agree. I think that having a diet that is easy is the most important factor in successful dieting. My approach has been to find a diet that is easy and then work on effectiveness. I'm salivating thinking about that drink I'm going to have on Sunday morning. There's no deprivation with my diet. There is with Atkins.
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Let me start by saying that I, too, have a personal prejudice against Atkins and low-carb eating,Kathleen wrote:I think there is something fundamentally disrespectful of the body
in restricting the type of food you eat and the amount you eat.
based on my own food preferences, my observation of others,
and my years of exposure to the "mainline" view that a calorie is a calorie.
I did not lose my weight on low-carb, nor have I maintained it on low-carb eating.
However, although I am now in my 5th year of maintaining a very large weight loss,
it is still extremely difficult..
In fact, as time goes by, while my behavioral issues with eating have improved,
my physical issues with eating and weight have not.
It is harder for me now than it has ever been.
Therefore, I continue to seek for solutions, and I work to keep an open mind.
I am intrigued by Gary Taubes' Research.
I first read his book in 2007 when it came out,
since then I've read it thoroughly two more times, and found new information each time.
In fact, my book is so defaced by highlighters and notes from my prior readings,
that recently I bought another copy on my Kindle so I could read it again without distraction.
It was written for the medical community,
and it's contents aren't as easily digested by someone with a doctorate in law.
Your concept of "disrespecting" the body is an interesting one.
It could be many different things to many different people.
Does "respect" the body mean "trust" the body?
Does it mean one can depend upon it to regulate itself and all body processes without assistance?
What about a type 1 diabetic -- surely injecting insulin and rigidly controlling
one's carbohydrate intake due to that condition would be "respecting" the body,
despite the fact that it has a physical condition
which makes it untrustworthy and in need of assistance to function normally?
The "traditional" concept is that obesity and eating disorders
are caused by a basic psychological problem, i.e. "gluttony and sloth".
However, WHAT IF, the Cause is a pysiological problem,
i.e. problem of insulin and fat regulation which varies in degree genetically,
and..excess eating and low energy are "side effects" of that physical condition?
WHAT IF, as the pre World War II german scientists believed,
the condition of obesity is similiar to the condition of type 1 Diabetes,
..in that a Diabetic body has a problem with too little Insulin, causing an energy intake problem,
an Obese body has a problem with too much Insulin, causing an
energy storage problem.
It is uncontroverted science that during the periods when Insulin is high,
fat cells cannot release stored energy.
So, IF there is a genetic disorder causing high insulin,
one would need a way of eating which lowers insulin.
It is undeniably true that Carbohydrates are what drive Insulin.
Certainly, Insulin is lowered during periods of fasting.. due to zero food.
Also and on a low-calorie balanced diet, one ordinarily lowers carb intake along with protein and fat intake.
Of course, this genetic condition (if there) is of varying degree,
and the more severe the insulin problem,
the more reduced the carb intake would need to be.
WHAT IF, all it took for me to easily maintain my weight would be to limit carbs,
Would I be willing to do so?
I don't know. I love carbs. I do not want to believe they are a problem.
I would have to be really CONVINCED they were really the CAUSE,
before I'd be willing to severely limit them.
And could I do it for life?
However, I must admit that at least the Low-Carb, Atkins type diet does appear to have some scientific basis,
While I see the Intuitive Eating concept as merely wishful thinking, an idea built on a defective foundation,
in that there is little basis to believe (through either Scientific Research or Antidotal Evidence)
that the body of an obese person can or will, automatically regulate itself to become normal weight.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I dismiss out of hand the idea that there is a psychological problem behind obesity. There are too many truly caring people who have obesity problems. I know several, including the Scoutmaster who is out in the rain with my son this weekend.
If there is a psychological problem, I think it's a willingness to rely on external authority -- gullibility. Mark Twain once said something like, "Beware of nutritionists because they can kill you."
To me, the problem may be "portion control." In the last few months, I have tried to read literature on gluttony and on fasting. What has most interested me is the Greek Orthodox tradition of fasting (no food at all) until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays all year and until 6 PM on those days during Lent.
Why?
I've ordered some books from the library on the Greek Orthodox faith, and I'll be trying to understand why fasting is so important. I think that it may condition you to be able to handle hunger so you don't feel so upset if a meal is delayed. Yesterday, my 9 year old was complaining at 5 PM that she was hungry, and I told her she could wait. "BUT I'M HUNGRY..."
Well, I told her, I haven't eaten anything since last night. She stopped whining.
I also think it teaches what amount of food makes you feel best. That is speculation on my part. I don't have enough experience with fasting yet to know the impact on eating for the rest of the week. I did notice totally over the top eating on the one Exception Day and the Sundays since I started fasting, so now I'm making Sundays one Exception Event. We'll see how that goes. I think it may go fine because at every meal I eat as much as I want. This morning for breakfast, for example, I had a large strawberry-banana smoothie and a bowl of Cheerios.
I also think exercise may be important. It just feels good to get out and walk. I read in a book that there is a saying in an Ecuadorian community with very healthy old people that "You have two doctors, your right leg and your left leg."
For years, I battled my body on what to eat and how much to eat. Now I decided to eat as much as I want of whatever is around (other than sweets) at every meal. There is no deprivation. That's why this diet is easy.
I also weighed 197 this morning. The diet I've been following did not result in an acceptably low weight, so I'm trying these changes:
-walk an average of two miles per day
- have an Exception Event on Sundays, not "unconditional permission to eat" all day long
- have nothing but water and tea between Thursday dinner and Friday dinner.
Will that be enough to lower my weight to an acceptable level? I don't know. It seems like it is a diet that will be easy to follow. I may have some initial difficulty with the change for Sunday, but I had some difficulty giving up Saturday as a day of "unconditional permsision to eat."
We are a snacking culture with a terrible fear of hunger. It has made us both obese and terrified of starvation when we live in plenty. I'm willing to see the reality of the situation and try unconventional approaches!
As for Atkins, I can see how it might work to lose weight, but what about staying on it for life? The body craves carbohydrates, and you lose enjoyment of foods like fruit! No thanks to that. I'd rather be fat. I like that intermittent fasting seems to be easy, and the book does explain that it is due to not having carbs. Fine. Intermittent fasting, not permanent fasting.
Atkins to me is like fool's gold. If it's not sustainable for life, I'm not interested. There are so many people who have spectacular losses with Atkins, but there is something else very off-putting about it -- those people tend to get grumpy.
Why?
Could it be a lack of respect for their bodies? Could it be they are not trusting that their body knows what it eat and how much? I think that it is more important to trust your body and then to guide it, like being very attentive to babies but then not giving in to every demand of a toddler. My body now has almost two years experience of not starving, and I can now try fasting. It's almost like there is a phase where I needed to focus on trust (Saturday and Sunday as days of "unconditional permission to eat") and now I'm moving to guide (intermittent fasting, Sundays as allowance for an Exception Event).
This was a bit of a ramble -- sorry.
Kathleen
I dismiss out of hand the idea that there is a psychological problem behind obesity. There are too many truly caring people who have obesity problems. I know several, including the Scoutmaster who is out in the rain with my son this weekend.
If there is a psychological problem, I think it's a willingness to rely on external authority -- gullibility. Mark Twain once said something like, "Beware of nutritionists because they can kill you."
To me, the problem may be "portion control." In the last few months, I have tried to read literature on gluttony and on fasting. What has most interested me is the Greek Orthodox tradition of fasting (no food at all) until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays all year and until 6 PM on those days during Lent.
Why?
I've ordered some books from the library on the Greek Orthodox faith, and I'll be trying to understand why fasting is so important. I think that it may condition you to be able to handle hunger so you don't feel so upset if a meal is delayed. Yesterday, my 9 year old was complaining at 5 PM that she was hungry, and I told her she could wait. "BUT I'M HUNGRY..."
Well, I told her, I haven't eaten anything since last night. She stopped whining.
I also think it teaches what amount of food makes you feel best. That is speculation on my part. I don't have enough experience with fasting yet to know the impact on eating for the rest of the week. I did notice totally over the top eating on the one Exception Day and the Sundays since I started fasting, so now I'm making Sundays one Exception Event. We'll see how that goes. I think it may go fine because at every meal I eat as much as I want. This morning for breakfast, for example, I had a large strawberry-banana smoothie and a bowl of Cheerios.
I also think exercise may be important. It just feels good to get out and walk. I read in a book that there is a saying in an Ecuadorian community with very healthy old people that "You have two doctors, your right leg and your left leg."
For years, I battled my body on what to eat and how much to eat. Now I decided to eat as much as I want of whatever is around (other than sweets) at every meal. There is no deprivation. That's why this diet is easy.
I also weighed 197 this morning. The diet I've been following did not result in an acceptably low weight, so I'm trying these changes:
-walk an average of two miles per day
- have an Exception Event on Sundays, not "unconditional permission to eat" all day long
- have nothing but water and tea between Thursday dinner and Friday dinner.
Will that be enough to lower my weight to an acceptable level? I don't know. It seems like it is a diet that will be easy to follow. I may have some initial difficulty with the change for Sunday, but I had some difficulty giving up Saturday as a day of "unconditional permsision to eat."
We are a snacking culture with a terrible fear of hunger. It has made us both obese and terrified of starvation when we live in plenty. I'm willing to see the reality of the situation and try unconventional approaches!
As for Atkins, I can see how it might work to lose weight, but what about staying on it for life? The body craves carbohydrates, and you lose enjoyment of foods like fruit! No thanks to that. I'd rather be fat. I like that intermittent fasting seems to be easy, and the book does explain that it is due to not having carbs. Fine. Intermittent fasting, not permanent fasting.
Atkins to me is like fool's gold. If it's not sustainable for life, I'm not interested. There are so many people who have spectacular losses with Atkins, but there is something else very off-putting about it -- those people tend to get grumpy.
Why?
Could it be a lack of respect for their bodies? Could it be they are not trusting that their body knows what it eat and how much? I think that it is more important to trust your body and then to guide it, like being very attentive to babies but then not giving in to every demand of a toddler. My body now has almost two years experience of not starving, and I can now try fasting. It's almost like there is a phase where I needed to focus on trust (Saturday and Sunday as days of "unconditional permission to eat") and now I'm moving to guide (intermittent fasting, Sundays as allowance for an Exception Event).
This was a bit of a ramble -- sorry.
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Personally, I respect my body for housing my spirit,
but Time and time again, my body has proven
that, unchecked, it will do everything it can to become Obese.
There is a scientific basis for this, and
it would be foolish indeed, for me to give unearned Trust in that situation.
Each of us is an ongoing "Experiment of One",
and we each have to find our own way to an individually workable Lifestyle.
This remains true for me, and
I will watch your progress with interest.
but Time and time again, my body has proven
that, unchecked, it will do everything it can to become Obese.
There is a scientific basis for this, and
it would be foolish indeed, for me to give unearned Trust in that situation.
Each of us is an ongoing "Experiment of One",
and we each have to find our own way to an individually workable Lifestyle.
This remains true for me, and
I will watch your progress with interest.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
There's a wonderful proverb from the Bible that goes something like this: "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
I like that proverb because it seems to strike the right balance between following your heart and leading your heart. Intuitive Eating seemed like an approach of following your heart. I followed it right into daily binges. Conventional diets are like leading your heart. Too much control leads to rebellion -- what Intuitive Eating calls "diet backlash."
With guarding your heart, you set up a framework of orderliness that can be followed but which will not trigger rebellion. Within the framework, I allow myself whatever I want to eat, but I have to stay within the framework.
Kathleen
There's a wonderful proverb from the Bible that goes something like this: "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
I like that proverb because it seems to strike the right balance between following your heart and leading your heart. Intuitive Eating seemed like an approach of following your heart. I followed it right into daily binges. Conventional diets are like leading your heart. Too much control leads to rebellion -- what Intuitive Eating calls "diet backlash."
With guarding your heart, you set up a framework of orderliness that can be followed but which will not trigger rebellion. Within the framework, I allow myself whatever I want to eat, but I have to stay within the framework.
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
walkerlori,
I really liked it. This person went in a different direction than I am going. He decided to push himself to be ultra fit. I'm really trying to do the minimum to be of a normal weight, which is why my aim is to lose just one pound per month. If I can't keep up that rate, then I plan to change something.
Probably the most interesting chapter in the book was about how he'd be asked about his weight loss by overweight people and it turned out they weren't really interested in learning what he had to say. Instead, they'd comment that what he was doing might not be very healthy or explain their own failed attempts. I do think self-deception is a problem with me, for sure. Part of keeping a journal is about keeping myself accountable.
It's definitely a book I'd recommend.
Kathleen
I really liked it. This person went in a different direction than I am going. He decided to push himself to be ultra fit. I'm really trying to do the minimum to be of a normal weight, which is why my aim is to lose just one pound per month. If I can't keep up that rate, then I plan to change something.
Probably the most interesting chapter in the book was about how he'd be asked about his weight loss by overweight people and it turned out they weren't really interested in learning what he had to say. Instead, they'd comment that what he was doing might not be very healthy or explain their own failed attempts. I do think self-deception is a problem with me, for sure. Part of keeping a journal is about keeping myself accountable.
It's definitely a book I'd recommend.
Kathleen
ShannahR,
I picked up the book Healthy at Every Size from the library today, and all I've read so far is the preface. It's very interesting. I thought I'd spent a lot of time and effort on weight management, but this woman went and got degress in psychology, exercise science, and physiology (with a focus on nutrition and weight regulation)! Of course, her approach to study appeals to me because that is the same approach I've taken, only I've invested time and a little bit of money on books that I actually bought rather than getting them from the library.
In the preface, she says, "Turn over control to your body and you will settle at a healthy weight." I agree and disagree with this statement. It's like teaching children. One thing I have told my kids is this: "You get to choose your volunteering activities, but you must volunteer." There is a framework for them, and there is also choice for them. I think it's the same thing with weight management. The framework for me is the habits of eating based on mealtime. I think there also needs to be more restriction as concerning what to eat. I think there should be no restriction on portions. With conventional diets like Weight Watchers, the restriction is on portion size.
Thanks for the recommendation. I can tell already that this will be a very interesting book to read, and I'll let you know as I read more.
Kathleen
P.S. I ended up having a very strong negative reaction to the book because it brought back memories of Intuitive Eating. I skimmed through it, and it reminded me of how narcissistic it is to eat when hungry without regard to the social aspect of eating together as a family or with friends. One interesting thought came to mind when I read about a study that I have read about before. This is from page 33: "Another study asked 282 people from Fance and the United States how they decided it was time to stop eating after a meal. The French reported that they stopped when they were full. The Americans? They stopped when their plates were empty. Also interesting, the heavier the person was, regardless of whether they were French or American, the more likely they were to rely on external cues, like a clean plate, as opposed ot how they felt." My reaction was that this study is about when to stop eating, not about when to start eating.
Yes, I think it's appropriate to stop eating when satisifed, but it is disordered and perhaps selfish to start eating when you sense there is a feeling of hunger because what you are doing is placing a higher priority on your perception of hunger (which builds gradually over time anyway) rather than an orderliness in your day. Who knows when you might experience hunger? On a bus? When in a meeting? While on a job interview? It can be highly inappropriate to give the highest priority to eating when you experience hunger.
What I'm doing now is using external cues to determine when to start eating and internal cues to determine when to stop eating. I don't believe in portion control. I think it's important to eat until satisfied, but it is not a good idea to start eating when hungry. To me, the framework for controlling weight is to establish times for eating. This brings orderliness to life. I do agree, however, that it is important to eat until satisfied and not to rely on external cues (empty plate) or pre-determined amounts (caloires, carbs, etc) to determine when to stop eating.
I picked up the book Healthy at Every Size from the library today, and all I've read so far is the preface. It's very interesting. I thought I'd spent a lot of time and effort on weight management, but this woman went and got degress in psychology, exercise science, and physiology (with a focus on nutrition and weight regulation)! Of course, her approach to study appeals to me because that is the same approach I've taken, only I've invested time and a little bit of money on books that I actually bought rather than getting them from the library.
In the preface, she says, "Turn over control to your body and you will settle at a healthy weight." I agree and disagree with this statement. It's like teaching children. One thing I have told my kids is this: "You get to choose your volunteering activities, but you must volunteer." There is a framework for them, and there is also choice for them. I think it's the same thing with weight management. The framework for me is the habits of eating based on mealtime. I think there also needs to be more restriction as concerning what to eat. I think there should be no restriction on portions. With conventional diets like Weight Watchers, the restriction is on portion size.
Thanks for the recommendation. I can tell already that this will be a very interesting book to read, and I'll let you know as I read more.
Kathleen
P.S. I ended up having a very strong negative reaction to the book because it brought back memories of Intuitive Eating. I skimmed through it, and it reminded me of how narcissistic it is to eat when hungry without regard to the social aspect of eating together as a family or with friends. One interesting thought came to mind when I read about a study that I have read about before. This is from page 33: "Another study asked 282 people from Fance and the United States how they decided it was time to stop eating after a meal. The French reported that they stopped when they were full. The Americans? They stopped when their plates were empty. Also interesting, the heavier the person was, regardless of whether they were French or American, the more likely they were to rely on external cues, like a clean plate, as opposed ot how they felt." My reaction was that this study is about when to stop eating, not about when to start eating.
Yes, I think it's appropriate to stop eating when satisifed, but it is disordered and perhaps selfish to start eating when you sense there is a feeling of hunger because what you are doing is placing a higher priority on your perception of hunger (which builds gradually over time anyway) rather than an orderliness in your day. Who knows when you might experience hunger? On a bus? When in a meeting? While on a job interview? It can be highly inappropriate to give the highest priority to eating when you experience hunger.
What I'm doing now is using external cues to determine when to start eating and internal cues to determine when to stop eating. I don't believe in portion control. I think it's important to eat until satisfied, but it is not a good idea to start eating when hungry. To me, the framework for controlling weight is to establish times for eating. This brings orderliness to life. I do agree, however, that it is important to eat until satisfied and not to rely on external cues (empty plate) or pre-determined amounts (caloires, carbs, etc) to determine when to stop eating.
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BrightAngel
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We are not all the same.Kathleen wrote:What I'm doing now is using external cues to determine when to start eating
and internal cues to determine when to stop eating.
To me, the framework for controlling weight is to establish times for eating.
This brings orderliness to life.
It is important (for me) to eat until satisfied and not to rely on external cues (empty plate)
or pre-determined amounts (calories, carbs, etc) to determine when to stop eating.
Each of us needs to find his/her own way.
I wish you good luck in your current Experiment of One.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
Yes, I agree that we are not all the same. I am looking for what might be applicable to others, especially to my daughter, but we are not the same. For example, I really don't like sugared pop, so I allow myself to have it on N Days when I want it. I've been back and forth about that, but basically I have ginger ale when I'm not feeling well. If I feel sleepy, I'll have diet Coke because I prefer it to regular Coke. Other than that, I prefer milk or water.
By the way, I contacted the National Weight Control Registry to find out how many people are registered and, of those, how many have had gastric bypass surgery. I was told that there are approximely 6,000 participants. It's inspiring to me that you are on the board because you have succeeded at weight loss for a very long time.
Kathleen
Yes, I agree that we are not all the same. I am looking for what might be applicable to others, especially to my daughter, but we are not the same. For example, I really don't like sugared pop, so I allow myself to have it on N Days when I want it. I've been back and forth about that, but basically I have ginger ale when I'm not feeling well. If I feel sleepy, I'll have diet Coke because I prefer it to regular Coke. Other than that, I prefer milk or water.
By the way, I contacted the National Weight Control Registry to find out how many people are registered and, of those, how many have had gastric bypass surgery. I was told that there are approximely 6,000 participants. It's inspiring to me that you are on the board because you have succeeded at weight loss for a very long time.
Kathleen
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Hi Kathleen! I think it's cool that you're getting a pedometer. What kind did you order? I started wearing mine (an Omron) consistently a few months ago and it has been such motivating/informative little gadget. Using it everyday has definitely helped me to be aware of my activity level and to kick things up a notch.
A book that I've enjoyed is Pedometer Walking by Mark Fenton which I picked up at random at the library.
All the Best,
A book that I've enjoyed is Pedometer Walking by Mark Fenton which I picked up at random at the library.
All the Best,
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
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sophiasapientia
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I often listen to audiobooks on my ipod while I'm taking my daily walk. It helps the time fly by and I get "reading" in while I'm exercising. Just an idea.At this point, I'd rather spend my time walking than reading or journalling. Enough is enough. It's time to get moving!
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
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BrightAngel
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Thanks Kathleen,Kathleen wrote:BrightAngel,
I contacted the National Weight Control Registry to find out how many people are registered
and, of those, how many have had gastric bypass surgery.
I was told that there are approximely 6,000 participants.
It's inspiring to me that you are on the board
because you have succeeded at weight loss for a very long time.
I believe there are 6,000 TOTAL participants.
Did they tell you how many of those participants had some form of WLS?
My open RNY, which has no malabsorption issues, was over 18 years ago,
and resulted in a NET loss of 80 lbs (271 to 190).
Initially I lost 110 lbs, but during the 12 years after WLS, I regained 30 of those lbs
In 2004, 12 years after my WLS surgery, I began logging all my food while working to eat low-calorie,
and achieved a 75 lb weight-loss (190 to 115).
For the past 4 1/2 years I have been working very hard to maintain my current weight.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
sophiasapientia,
I got an Omron, too. I ordered it from Amazon where it had a very high rating. I also ordered a book that was recommended called 10,000 Steps. I've gotten sick of the same one mile route around the neighborhood and would like a way to get myself moving more.
I tend to listen to lectures on my iPod. Right now, I'm listening to lectures on political history. Really, I think I need a job. I'm getting bored being at home and want to get out and be with others. My kids are home for the summer, but a lot of being with them is being in the van. Right now, three are volunteering for Vacation Bible School, and I'm about to take the youngest out for a walk with the dog (the same one mile trek that's gotten old, which is why I want a pedometer.)
BrightAngel,
I did ask about the percent of those with gastric bypass surgery, and it was only 2%, so low that I think it could have been a typo.
Kathleen
I got an Omron, too. I ordered it from Amazon where it had a very high rating. I also ordered a book that was recommended called 10,000 Steps. I've gotten sick of the same one mile route around the neighborhood and would like a way to get myself moving more.
I tend to listen to lectures on my iPod. Right now, I'm listening to lectures on political history. Really, I think I need a job. I'm getting bored being at home and want to get out and be with others. My kids are home for the summer, but a lot of being with them is being in the van. Right now, three are volunteering for Vacation Bible School, and I'm about to take the youngest out for a walk with the dog (the same one mile trek that's gotten old, which is why I want a pedometer.)
BrightAngel,
I did ask about the percent of those with gastric bypass surgery, and it was only 2%, so low that I think it could have been a typo.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
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Two percent would be about 120 people, and this sounds about right to me.Kathleen wrote:BrightAngel,
I did ask about the percent of those with gastric bypass surgery,
and it was only 2%, so low that I think it could have been a typo.
I don't believe it was a typographical error.
Remember, this number reflects ONLY those people who have registered as participants,
not ALL people with Weight Loss Surgery who've maintained some or all of their weight-loss.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I was surprised because I would have thought that those who did the research on WLS would have been more likely to become aware of the National Weight Loss Registry. I've read about NWLR in numerous books, so it is surprising that there are so few people overall. It really is remarkable when people lose weight and keep it off.
I'm off to buy new walking shoes --
Kathleen
I was surprised because I would have thought that those who did the research on WLS would have been more likely to become aware of the National Weight Loss Registry. I've read about NWLR in numerous books, so it is surprising that there are so few people overall. It really is remarkable when people lose weight and keep it off.
I'm off to buy new walking shoes --
Kathleen
July, 2010
Feast Day Balance = 10 (These Feast Days were not earned but will be used to ease my way into balancing Feast Days with Fast Days.)
I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08 at 215 pounds. I was down to 196.6 by the summer of 2009, and I was happy that I no longer was obsessed by food and no longer felt like I was starving all the time. I stuck with the diet even though my weight stagnated at this unacceptably high weight. In June 2010, I decided to add fasting to my approach. By the beginning of July, I had finalized my approach, which I call Orderly Eating. Going forward, I track the balance of Feast Days in parenthesis after the date.
The following is a list of one weight from one day of each month of the Orderly Eating approach:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Thursday, July 1, 2010: 202.0
Day 29 – Thursday, July 1, 2010: 202.0 Resiliency. That's what I preach to my kids, and that's what I need to practice now. I've floundered around a lot and ended up with a few failures last month that went unrecorded. I think that I took on more than I could handle. Since I was stuck at an unacceptably high weight, I needed to change something! Now I have to earn my Sundays of "unconditional permssion to eat" by fasting.
I gave myself a starting balance of 10 Exception Days because we are having a family reunion next weekend. My brother is hosting a dinner on Friday night, for example, and I'm not going to pass on the dessert. It's one thing to be fat; it's another to be fat and not eating on occasions like these. I don't want to imitate the Obamas in having an Easter without candy. Now I have two automatic Exception Days per month and can earn more. If I haven't earned more, then my Sundays -- like my Saturdays -- are normal days of no snacks and no sweets.
How will this work? I don't know. I'm experimenting. I realized earlier this year that this diet was easy because I never was hungry. Now I'm trying fasting so I do experience hunger.
6:30 AM: It occurred to me that I could combine Feast Days and Exception Days into one category, which I will call Feast Days. I'm changing the Orderly Eating approach yet again because it will be easier to track one number rather than two. All I need to do is to track the total available days of "unconditional permission to eat", and it doesn't much matter if they were earned by Fast Days (Feast Days) or automatically awarded on the first of the month (Exception Days).
10:30 AM: I'm changing yet again: I get a Feast Day only when I earn it by having a Fast Day. I'll start off with a balance of 10 as a way to ease into this approach.
11 AM: Maybe I will restart the numbering for today. I saw the importance of fasting but didn't figure out how I could encorporate it into my diet. Now I've got a plan. Today is Day 1, and I've awareded myself 10 Feast Days as a way to transition into my new approach.
Day 3 – Saturday, July 3, 2010: 200.0Yesterday, in mid afternoon, I experienced a deep hunger growl. Genuine hunger. I haven't experienced that in a long time. For dinner, I ate a lot. That's OK. I'm having to experience what I deeply fear, which is hunger. This culture teaches a visceral fear of hunger. Prior cultures have taught that fasting is a necessary part of being a Christian. I think it may be important for long-term weight loss that you be able to experience a deep hunger growl and realize that you can survive. If all you do is keep yourself at a starvation level, then you either can't stand it anymore and eat your way back to your old weight or you maintain yourself in what your body considers to be a state of perpetual starvation. In the book Ultra Fit to Ultra Fat, the author describes meeting a professor who so hungrily devoured his food that he ate an apple, including the stem. That professor was thin, but at what cost in psychological stress? I think intermittent fasting has a lot of potential, but we'll see. Here I am at 200 pounds. I want to try this diet for at least a year. I also am trying to get my pedometer above 10,000 steps per day. I made it yesterday, but it was hard to do because I really am not all that active. I'll need to change a few habits in order to consistently reach that level of walking.
3 PM: I ate an awful lot last night for dinner, including an entire bowl of popcorn. Instead of asking myself why, I have been observing that I've not much been interested in eating today. I think back to the book The Instinct to Heal which discusses the emotional brain and the logical brain. The emotional brain is the one that reacts automatically to say, finding yourself between a moose and her cubs (which happened to me once!) The emotional brain takes over in life-threatening situations. With a "no portion control approach," I think that my emotional brain is getting over starvation diets. I still need to overeat, but now I'm responding faster and faster to overeating by subsequent undereating.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to reach 10,000 steps per day, which is turning out to be something of a challenge. If I can switch my attention from eating to exercising, I think I'll be happier about my weight management approach.
Day 4 – Sunday, July 4, 2010: 200.8 I got an out of print book from Amazon that I remember reading after my youngest child was born in 2001. It's called The Pritiken Weight Loss Breakthrough: 5 Easy Steps to Outsmart Your Fat Instinct. After our daughter was born on Valentine's Day, I followed this approach and rather easily lost weight. In January, I was down to 155 when I suddenly just started eating and eating. I never went back to that approach until now. I just got the book yesterday and was just skimming through it, but one thing that caught my eye was that exercsie changes your taste to high-carbohydrate diets. I remember that I so wanted oatmeal that I took a miniature Quaker Oats when we visited my brother in law. What happened? That was a very difficult year for me, with four kids ages 8 and under. What happened in January, though? I realized that I had stopped exercising. There were circumstances at the time that resulted in exercise falling off my priority list, and I wonder if the result wasn't that my taste shifted to higher fat foods. This morning, I made some hot multigrain cereal from Trader Joe's that I like, and I also had blueberries. I think I'm going to try to return to exercise and a high-carb diet.
Is it possible that I had stumbled into a combination of high-carb diet and exercise but hadn't understood that that approach had helped me to lose weight? Does this mean I'm abandoning The No S Diet? No. I'm adding to it. The Pritiken approach includes several recommendations, including eating several times per day. I'm not changing The No S Diet approach of set meals during the day because I so love not feeling constantly hungry. What I'll do is deliberately start to steer my food intake towards high-carb, low calorie density foods. The No S Diet really helpd me to lessen the consumption of sweets, which is great. Despite my 200 pound weight, I think I'm headed in the right direction.
Day 5 – Monday, July 5, 2010: 199.8 I sailed through yesterday without it being a day of "unconditional permission to eat." I now have a very different mindset towards Feast Days. Since a Feast Day is only earned with a Fast Day and not automatically awarded, they are more valuable. It's like the difference between my teenage son spending money he has earned and spending money that we gave him. I'll want to keep a balance of approximately 10 Feast Days (my starting balance, which was "awarded"), and next weekend is a family reunion, so I'm saving my Feast Days for next weekend.
9:30 AM: My stretch goal for walking is 11,000 steps. It's 9:30 AM, and I'm at 171 steps! The dog was excited to see me put on my shoes and not so pleased to see me sit back down on the computer. She's stretching to get my attention. Now she's "pulled a Tommy" (begged) to go for a walk, so I'll have to journal later. Having a dog remind you of your good intention to walk is motivating!
10 AM: Pepper got her walk, and I'm up to 4,084 steps. It's rather ironic that I was going to write about exercise rather than go out for a walk. Last week, my wise 9 year old suggested that I spend less time thinking about exercising and more time actually exercising! Anyway, I'm going to do both this summer, but I expect to be back to work in the fall and will prioritize exercise over analysis.
I wanted to quote an entire section, called The Paradox of Exercise and Weight Loss, from page 122 of the Pritiken book:
"You might be surprised to learn that those who exercise not only lose weight initially, but also stand the greatest chance of keeping that weight off, especially if they combine their weight-loss program with appropriate diet. On the other hand, the vast majority of poeple who use diet alone to lose weight fail to keep the weight off for even a year after they started their programs.
But here's an interesting fact: Exercise alone is not a very efficient way to lose weight. You burn about 100 calories per mile of walking or jogging. There are 3,000 calories in every pound of fat. That means you have to walk thirty-five miles just to burn 3,500 calories; but remember, only half of the calories you burn are form fat. The other half are from carbohydrates. That means that you've got to walk seventy miles to lose a full pound of fat. That's pretty discouraging, if you ask me. Yet, those who exercise lose weight and have the best chance of keeping it off. Why? Because exercise naturally changes people's food preferences -- they start to crave carbohydrate-rich foods, such as fruits, vegetables, and grains -- and those new food choices result in weigt loss. Such changes often occur unconsciously; people are not even aware that they are changing their diets. They're just following instinctual cravings. Yet, the new food choices, brought about by the exercise, change everything."
How interesting! I've always thought exercise had nothing to do with weight loss, and my desire to exercise was from the desire to feel good today, not lose weight. As a result, exercise has periodically fallen off my priority list. Maybe it shouldn't. With a pedometer, I can sqeeze in walks by doing things like not spending my time trying to get a really good parking spot but instead parking so that I get in some steps. I now can walk my dog on different streets instead of following the same route which I had measured at one mile. This pedometer could have a big impact on me -- and the dog!
8:30 PM: Not having a reliable S Day backfired into eating four cups of ice cream and four cups of blueberries in a matter of minutes. I'm returning to a reliable Sunday of "unconditional permission to eat", two reliable Exception Days per month, and no fasting. I think I'm going to focus on an exerse program and set aside weight loss for a time.
Day 667 – Tuesday, July 6, 2010: 201.4 Well, the good news is that I got above 12,000 steps yesterday. I think I'm going to settle on every Sunday plus two extra days per month as days of "unconditional permission to eat." All other days are days of there meals per day with no snacks. That's enough to stabilize my weight at 200 pounds and keep me from bingeing outside those six days. It sounds absurd, but that in itself is a lot of progress. In order to lose weight, I need to change other variables. I'm going to look at more exercise and different foods.
7 PM: After drowning my sorrows in mint chocolate chip ice cream, I decided to face the reality that a "no portion control" approach stabilizes my weight at 200 pounds. I think I still will have six days of "unconditional permission to eat", but I need ot restrict my eating on all other days. Calorie counting? Yes. Calorie counting. Ugh. I may try estimating 300/500/700 which I remember having done when I was in my 20s. This is certainly less than I've been eating on normal days. I just plain got used to eating too much. The days of "unconditional permission to eat" are a necessary release so that I don't feel like I'm starving all the time.
7:40 PM: I'm going to try to stay off the computer, stop journaling, and just concentrate on this latest plan of 12,000 steps per day and counting calories on days other than those six days per month of "unconditonal permission to eat." It will take all my focus to get through this month, especially with a family reunion this weekend. I suspect I'll be taking lots of Exception Days, and that's OK. I have to start sometime, and I'm starting now.
Day 669 – Thursday, July 8, 2010: Katie got sunburned over the weekend, and she was showing me just how painful it was. Tom asked her if she learned anything, and I told her I still remember just how painful it was when I was a lifeguard for three days and didn't use any sunscreen. That might have been my last sunburn, at age 19, and I was particularly embarassed because it was my second year as a lifeguard. Hadn't I learned during my first year as a lifeguard?
I recall that sunburn now that I have yet another failed attempt at calorie counting under my belt. My reaction to calorie counting is binge eating. I've been through this countless times. When am I going to learn? At least I am learning something with a new experience -- using a pedometer. I think a stretch goal for me is to average 12,000 steps per day. Maybe I should just add walking to my old program of two Exception Days per month, reliiable S Days on Sundays, and no snacks or sweets on other days.
Day 670 – Friday, July 9, 2010: Last night, the start of my binge was the justification of eating fruit outside of mealtime, as recommended by the Pritiken book which recommends constant eating of low calorie density foods. Why was I interested in eating outside of mealtime? Because I was trying to restrict my calories at meals. From there, I went on to dark chocolate (not low calorie dense but also good for you) and ice cream (neither good for your nor low calorie dense).
I wish I could look back to a journal in fall of 2001 when I easily lost 25 pounds in a few months after the last child was born. What I recall is that I made a commitment to walk at the gym before my husband left for work, and I wanted oatmeal every morning, so much so that I brought a small oatmeal with me when we visited my brother in law in October so my husband could run a half-marathon. I'm thinking of buying a Cuisinart rice cooker that can be used for oatmeal. I already have a rice cooker, but it doesn't work too well for oatmeal.
Steps towards health are just that -- steps. I took a huge step with the framework of No S, and now I just need to add more steps. It's another hot day, and so I'd better get in a walk before it gets hotter. I can just start to feel a change in muscle tone in my upper legs, and it feels good. I've gone on lots of detours trying to get to a healthier me, and buying a pedometer was a step in the right direction, as was No S.
2 PM: I see how disruptive this family reunion will be for me, so I'm just going to take Exception Days until it is all over. My mother is grumpy because she broke a bone in her foot, and she's decided that my sister and I aren't helping enough so we're putting the burden on my sister in law. I see that there is a minimal amount of stress associated with following The No S Diet, and I'm not going to deal with it over the next several days. I complained to my husband, who chuckled and said it wouldn't bother him because he was golfing! I'll try to enjoy it while being on guard against put-downs. After all, this is a wonderful chance for us all to get together, and it's hard to have my parents be so negative. I have to remind myself continually of the power of a negative comment to ruin a child's day, whether the child be 9 or 51.
Day 674 – Tuesday, July 13, 2010: I'm back from the family reunion where I planned to and did take every single day as an Exception Day. It was nice to just let go and enjoy the great food and company. I did come away with some advice, particularly from my sister in law. She suggested I get some ideas for strengthening exercises from Shape magazine, which I will order, and she also suggested I write down my exercise program and what I eat. I do find it very motivating to write down my number of steps per day, but I've always bristled at the idea of writing down what I eat. I decided, however, to try it, since I want to figure out a diet that doesn't include portion control but does include weight loss! As a result, I'll write down what I eat on days that are not Exception Days or Sundays.
Day 679 – Sunday, July 18, 2010: Here is my most recent revision of my diet:
There are three types of days:
- Normal Days: These are all days of the week except Sundays and Exception Days. On these days, I can have three meals per day with no "portion control". There is no "portion control" at these meals since a "portion control" approach seems to trigger binge eating for me. I can have as much as I want of anything except sweets, but everything must be before me before I take one bite. Outside of mealtime, I can have liquids like orange juice or milk or even sugared pop but not semi-solid foods like frozen orange juice or smoothies. I write down what I eat on Normal Days in a calendar that I bought for just this purpose.
- Sundays: On Sundays, I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want all day long. It's the dieter's dream.
- Exception Days: These are two days per month other than Sundays which can be taken for whatever reason I want. On these days, like on Sundays, I have "unconditional permission to eat." If I don't use an Exception Day in a particular month, it carries over to the next month.
In addition, I try to have oatmeal for breakfast whenever possible, and I try to walk an average of 12,000 steps per day. I'm working my way up to 12,000 steps and will start tracking that amount in August.
Day 680 – Monday, July 19, 2010: I think I'm going to give myself time to build up a habit of walking 12,000 steps per day and instead jump into a habit of oatmeal every morning at breakfast while at home. Oatmeal keeps cropping up as a healhty food, and I just need to figure out an easy way to make it. I may buy a small crock pot just for making morning oatmeal. This is part of the reason why I like slow weight loss -- you can figure out what works well for you.
Day 681 – Tuesday, July 20, 2010: I got some very negative feedback from my parents regarding my diet and my arrogant view that I know better than the experts. It's upset the apple cart, so to speak, and I've been munching all day. It's not so much that I know better than the experts. It's more that I know the experts don't know.
I'm returing to my basic No S Diet with the addition of oatmeal, honey, and almonds as my standard breakfast. We'll see where that takes me. My next change after that will be to follow the Pedometer Walking approach of building steps taken.
Day 682 – Wednesday, July 21, 2010: My focus has been on losing weight. I am now changing to a focus on health. My approach has been to create more order in eating. Now I wish to add exercise and focus on what I eat.
10 AM: I want to somehow de-emphasize the results of actual weight and more focus on the habits that I am cultivating. How do I do that? I think I'll just focus on daily oatmeal for a time as well as the habit of no sweets and no snacks, which has fallen a bit by the wayside due to a family reunion and extended visit by my parents. They were unimpressed by the decrease in my glucose and cholesterol, telling me that it wasn't significant. My mother, who takes Lipitor, had told me she thought that this absurd idea of no snacking was going to cause big problems for my glucose and cholesterol, which is why I shoud snack and not follow this diet. Over two years, my glucose has dropped from 108 (considered pre-diabetic) to 95, a drop of just over 12%. My cholesterol level has dropped from 216 to 181, a drop of just over 16%. That just plain seems significant to me, especially if the trend continues.
I'm not yet ready for tracking the pedometer, unless I start off really slow, but I am ready for tracking oatmeal consumption. I need to stay confident in this approach.
11 AM: I think I'm going to try weighing myself just three times per year -- in September, January, and May. That will take the focus off my weight and put it on habits. Until September, I think my goal will be oatmeal, honey, and almonds for breakfast. I ordered a small crock pot with an enamel pot and a timer from Cuisinart so that I could have an exclusive pot for making oatmeal and so that I could set it up the night before to start during the night and be ready at breakfast time. If I'm working in the fall, and I certainly hope I am, I'll need to be more efficient with cooking.
Day 684 – Friday, July 23, 2010: I was all excited about walking 12,000 steps per day, and then I read Pedometer Walking and the suggestion to ramp up slowly. Yesterday, I got up to 6,159 steps. Today, at 3:30 PM, I'm sitting at 3,394 steps. It's not really difficult to get to 12,000 steps, but it does involve change. I've debated about just deciding to average 12,000 steps per day and be done with any sort of a "ramp up" approach. After all, my transition to No S Diet was "plunge in", and it worked out fine. Once a decision is made, it can be easier than going through the process of deciding. My husband has long complained about how I spend more time planning than doing. I think that combining my modified No S Diet (Sundays and two other "floater" days per month as S Days), Normal Days as being ones with no snacks and no sweets, oatmeal as a habit for breakfast, and 12,000 steps per day on average is a great step in the right direction for health. My sister in law contacted me about a possible opportunity for me when she works, and I have an interview in early August. My goal was a return to work in September, and I think I'll make it. I'll need to stop thinking about diet and health and just go on auto pilot with a good program. This program is easy to follow and won't take much time for monitoring. I think I can stick with it through next summer when I will once again be home with the kids.
6 PM: I'm up to 5,967 steps. Which would I prefer, to write down everything I eat or to walk 12,000 steps? Hands down, it would be to walk 12,000 steps. I absolutely detest writing down what I eat. I think I'll have fun getting to 12,000 steps. The dog needs to be roused for another walk. Luckily, it is absolutely a beautiful evening.
9 PM: I resorted to pacing in the house while talking on the phone, but I got above 12,000 steps. I can do this.
Day 685 – Saturday, July 24, 2010: I'm realizing that a person who is thin has habits which make a person thin (thank you, Aristotle, for stating the obvious which has been lost in the modern focus on willpower). Virtuous habits can be cultivated, or they can be natural, but they are practiced. For me, personally, writing down what I eat is onerous, but I enjoy counting my steps using a pedometer. There are many habits which can be formed which lead to thinness. I have stopped my weight gain and lost some weight by practicing a modified No S Diet, but it's been insufficient for me to become thin. I got stuck thinking I had to either live with the modified No S Diet or return to crazy calorie counting and probably bingeing. Now I recognize that I need to just add more habits. The habit of averaging 12,000 steps per day and the habit of eating oatmeal in the morning are the two habits that I choose to cultivate. My next weigh-in is September 3rd, which I have as the end date for a guess-Mom's-weight for my kids. I should be able to tell by then if the addition of these two habits will bring my weight down more. I'm hoping to be in the low 190s by then -- below 193.5, or a loss of 10% of my starting body weight of 215 pounds on 9/8/08.
9:30 PM: I remember reading somewhere that people who are successful at losing weight tend to be those who focus on health rather than weight. It occurred to me as I was out for a walk that those who focus on health are cultivating healthy habits whereas those who focus on weight tend to use willpower to cut back on calorie consumption. Could it be? I was listening to a business analyst Webinar today in which Aristotle was quoted and called "The Master". Yes, he is "The Master". His book on Ethics is one of the most influential books of all time. Habit. Habit. Habit. It's all about creating habits that can be sustained for life.
Day 688 – Tuesday, July 27, 2010: My No S Diet habits fell apart in the last few weeks, so I decided to step on the scale to see where I am. 201.6. It was disappointing. I managed to get down to 194.0 before I realized my old scale was broken. Then I got off track with habits that I was unwilling to sustain, like writing down what I eat.
Now I have two new habits -- 12,000 steps per day and oatmeal for breakfast. I'll stick with this approach to see what results. I think it is "portion control" which eventually ends diets, so what I need to find are habits other than "portion control" which allow me to lose weight. I can follow all these habits without trouble. My problem comes in as I experiment with what additional habits to follow.
8 PM: There's a rainbow in the sky, and I need to see its beauty and promise. I only got to 8,000 steps because of a four hour drive and rain. I took an Exception Day as a reaction to the weight above 200 pounds.
I need to make changes. It's been six years since I got above 200 pounds. It's been a year since I lost any weight. Enough is enough. Here is my new plan:
1. No snacks or sweets except on two Exception Days per month, which can be carried over to the next month if not used.
2. Fast until lunch on Wednesday and Friday.
3. Have oatmeal at breakfast whenever possible.
4. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day.
Day 689 – Wednesday, July 28, 2010: I learned, once again, that I'm going to go nuts if I can't tell myself that I'll have an S Day in just a few days. I took another Exception Day today, and now I'm down to zero Exception Days and back to Sundays as reliable days of "unconditional permission to eat." I think I can skip breakfast on Wednesdays and Fridays, have oatmeal on other mornings, and average 12,000 steps per day. That will have to do as a plan.
Day 690 – Thursday, July 29, 2010: Yesterday was an Exception Day, and today I weigh in at 202.2. I need the reliable S Day. Whenever It ry to eliminate it, I binge. Now what? Yesterday was Day 6 of walking. I averaged just under 12,000 steps. Is this going to be enough for me to lose weight? Probably not. I got a book on strengthening exercises and will try to add that as well. My problem is that I binge eat if I try to limit the amount I eat. I can delay to mealtime but that delay only is possible if I have an S Day on Sunday. Yesterday, my sister in law and I went to the Mall of America, and everywhere I looked there were people heavier than me. Meanwhile, I'm reading a book on John Adams, and his nickname was "His Rotundancy". Yes, politics was vicious back then as well. "His Rotundancy" would have fit right in in our country today -- someone like Chris Christie of New Jersey. One thing I have noted in reading the biography is that John Adams walked a lot. Walking isn't the answer. It may help, but it won't solve this problem. What am I to do? I don't know, but now I'm going to go have my morning oatmeal.
Day 691 – Friday, July 30, 2010: 201 today. I am tracking my weight against my goal weight of a loss of one pound per month. For July, the goal is 193. Tough. I've been through a lot of turmoil this summer as I've tried to figure out what to do. Walking can only help. Last night, my husband invited me to walk with him when it was just getting dark, and we drove to the next town to walk next to a lake. It was nice. I got above 15,000 steps yesterday so my average since last week would be 12,000 steps. I'm also eating oatmeal in the morning, which is an easy adjustment for me. Looking forward, I think I'll concentrate on finding an easy strengthening program. Habits. I'm going to be aware of my weight but focus on habits. There's no point in losing weight in a way that is unsustainable because you'll just gain the weight back.
7 PM: I'm grumpy because I'm hungry. Rummaging through the bookshelves, I found a book on strengthening exercises that is better than the one I just bought. It's called Strong Women Stay Slim by Miriam E. Nelson, Ph.D. That's the book that I'll use. It's got a program you can fit into your life.
Meanwhile, I found a suit for my interview next week. I have to go tonight to pick up my size (size 18 ) at a mall about 1/2 hour away. I wish I were already slimmer. It does make a difference in interviews, but oh well. I am where I am today.
Day 692 – Saturday, July 31, 2010: 201.2. It might take some time for me to read about and set up a simple program of strengthening exercises, but that's my next goal. I am so disgusted by my weight that I'm tempted to revert to "portion control", but I have to remind myself it's a dead end. In order to lose weight, I need to set up habits that are sustainable. "Portion control" is not sustainable because, sooner or later, there is a blow out. Cut corners, and you end up with a Deepwater Horizon. No -- I'm not cutting corners. What can I do to reduce weight that I can do for life? That's my goal. My goal is not immediate weight loss. It's sustainable weight loss.
Feast Day Balance = 10 (These Feast Days were not earned but will be used to ease my way into balancing Feast Days with Fast Days.)
I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08 at 215 pounds. I was down to 196.6 by the summer of 2009, and I was happy that I no longer was obsessed by food and no longer felt like I was starving all the time. I stuck with the diet even though my weight stagnated at this unacceptably high weight. In June 2010, I decided to add fasting to my approach. By the beginning of July, I had finalized my approach, which I call Orderly Eating. Going forward, I track the balance of Feast Days in parenthesis after the date.
The following is a list of one weight from one day of each month of the Orderly Eating approach:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Thursday, July 1, 2010: 202.0
Day 29 – Thursday, July 1, 2010: 202.0 Resiliency. That's what I preach to my kids, and that's what I need to practice now. I've floundered around a lot and ended up with a few failures last month that went unrecorded. I think that I took on more than I could handle. Since I was stuck at an unacceptably high weight, I needed to change something! Now I have to earn my Sundays of "unconditional permssion to eat" by fasting.
I gave myself a starting balance of 10 Exception Days because we are having a family reunion next weekend. My brother is hosting a dinner on Friday night, for example, and I'm not going to pass on the dessert. It's one thing to be fat; it's another to be fat and not eating on occasions like these. I don't want to imitate the Obamas in having an Easter without candy. Now I have two automatic Exception Days per month and can earn more. If I haven't earned more, then my Sundays -- like my Saturdays -- are normal days of no snacks and no sweets.
How will this work? I don't know. I'm experimenting. I realized earlier this year that this diet was easy because I never was hungry. Now I'm trying fasting so I do experience hunger.
6:30 AM: It occurred to me that I could combine Feast Days and Exception Days into one category, which I will call Feast Days. I'm changing the Orderly Eating approach yet again because it will be easier to track one number rather than two. All I need to do is to track the total available days of "unconditional permission to eat", and it doesn't much matter if they were earned by Fast Days (Feast Days) or automatically awarded on the first of the month (Exception Days).
10:30 AM: I'm changing yet again: I get a Feast Day only when I earn it by having a Fast Day. I'll start off with a balance of 10 as a way to ease into this approach.
11 AM: Maybe I will restart the numbering for today. I saw the importance of fasting but didn't figure out how I could encorporate it into my diet. Now I've got a plan. Today is Day 1, and I've awareded myself 10 Feast Days as a way to transition into my new approach.
Day 3 – Saturday, July 3, 2010: 200.0Yesterday, in mid afternoon, I experienced a deep hunger growl. Genuine hunger. I haven't experienced that in a long time. For dinner, I ate a lot. That's OK. I'm having to experience what I deeply fear, which is hunger. This culture teaches a visceral fear of hunger. Prior cultures have taught that fasting is a necessary part of being a Christian. I think it may be important for long-term weight loss that you be able to experience a deep hunger growl and realize that you can survive. If all you do is keep yourself at a starvation level, then you either can't stand it anymore and eat your way back to your old weight or you maintain yourself in what your body considers to be a state of perpetual starvation. In the book Ultra Fit to Ultra Fat, the author describes meeting a professor who so hungrily devoured his food that he ate an apple, including the stem. That professor was thin, but at what cost in psychological stress? I think intermittent fasting has a lot of potential, but we'll see. Here I am at 200 pounds. I want to try this diet for at least a year. I also am trying to get my pedometer above 10,000 steps per day. I made it yesterday, but it was hard to do because I really am not all that active. I'll need to change a few habits in order to consistently reach that level of walking.
3 PM: I ate an awful lot last night for dinner, including an entire bowl of popcorn. Instead of asking myself why, I have been observing that I've not much been interested in eating today. I think back to the book The Instinct to Heal which discusses the emotional brain and the logical brain. The emotional brain is the one that reacts automatically to say, finding yourself between a moose and her cubs (which happened to me once!) The emotional brain takes over in life-threatening situations. With a "no portion control approach," I think that my emotional brain is getting over starvation diets. I still need to overeat, but now I'm responding faster and faster to overeating by subsequent undereating.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to reach 10,000 steps per day, which is turning out to be something of a challenge. If I can switch my attention from eating to exercising, I think I'll be happier about my weight management approach.
Day 4 – Sunday, July 4, 2010: 200.8 I got an out of print book from Amazon that I remember reading after my youngest child was born in 2001. It's called The Pritiken Weight Loss Breakthrough: 5 Easy Steps to Outsmart Your Fat Instinct. After our daughter was born on Valentine's Day, I followed this approach and rather easily lost weight. In January, I was down to 155 when I suddenly just started eating and eating. I never went back to that approach until now. I just got the book yesterday and was just skimming through it, but one thing that caught my eye was that exercsie changes your taste to high-carbohydrate diets. I remember that I so wanted oatmeal that I took a miniature Quaker Oats when we visited my brother in law. What happened? That was a very difficult year for me, with four kids ages 8 and under. What happened in January, though? I realized that I had stopped exercising. There were circumstances at the time that resulted in exercise falling off my priority list, and I wonder if the result wasn't that my taste shifted to higher fat foods. This morning, I made some hot multigrain cereal from Trader Joe's that I like, and I also had blueberries. I think I'm going to try to return to exercise and a high-carb diet.
Is it possible that I had stumbled into a combination of high-carb diet and exercise but hadn't understood that that approach had helped me to lose weight? Does this mean I'm abandoning The No S Diet? No. I'm adding to it. The Pritiken approach includes several recommendations, including eating several times per day. I'm not changing The No S Diet approach of set meals during the day because I so love not feeling constantly hungry. What I'll do is deliberately start to steer my food intake towards high-carb, low calorie density foods. The No S Diet really helpd me to lessen the consumption of sweets, which is great. Despite my 200 pound weight, I think I'm headed in the right direction.
Day 5 – Monday, July 5, 2010: 199.8 I sailed through yesterday without it being a day of "unconditional permission to eat." I now have a very different mindset towards Feast Days. Since a Feast Day is only earned with a Fast Day and not automatically awarded, they are more valuable. It's like the difference between my teenage son spending money he has earned and spending money that we gave him. I'll want to keep a balance of approximately 10 Feast Days (my starting balance, which was "awarded"), and next weekend is a family reunion, so I'm saving my Feast Days for next weekend.
9:30 AM: My stretch goal for walking is 11,000 steps. It's 9:30 AM, and I'm at 171 steps! The dog was excited to see me put on my shoes and not so pleased to see me sit back down on the computer. She's stretching to get my attention. Now she's "pulled a Tommy" (begged) to go for a walk, so I'll have to journal later. Having a dog remind you of your good intention to walk is motivating!
10 AM: Pepper got her walk, and I'm up to 4,084 steps. It's rather ironic that I was going to write about exercise rather than go out for a walk. Last week, my wise 9 year old suggested that I spend less time thinking about exercising and more time actually exercising! Anyway, I'm going to do both this summer, but I expect to be back to work in the fall and will prioritize exercise over analysis.
I wanted to quote an entire section, called The Paradox of Exercise and Weight Loss, from page 122 of the Pritiken book:
"You might be surprised to learn that those who exercise not only lose weight initially, but also stand the greatest chance of keeping that weight off, especially if they combine their weight-loss program with appropriate diet. On the other hand, the vast majority of poeple who use diet alone to lose weight fail to keep the weight off for even a year after they started their programs.
But here's an interesting fact: Exercise alone is not a very efficient way to lose weight. You burn about 100 calories per mile of walking or jogging. There are 3,000 calories in every pound of fat. That means you have to walk thirty-five miles just to burn 3,500 calories; but remember, only half of the calories you burn are form fat. The other half are from carbohydrates. That means that you've got to walk seventy miles to lose a full pound of fat. That's pretty discouraging, if you ask me. Yet, those who exercise lose weight and have the best chance of keeping it off. Why? Because exercise naturally changes people's food preferences -- they start to crave carbohydrate-rich foods, such as fruits, vegetables, and grains -- and those new food choices result in weigt loss. Such changes often occur unconsciously; people are not even aware that they are changing their diets. They're just following instinctual cravings. Yet, the new food choices, brought about by the exercise, change everything."
How interesting! I've always thought exercise had nothing to do with weight loss, and my desire to exercise was from the desire to feel good today, not lose weight. As a result, exercise has periodically fallen off my priority list. Maybe it shouldn't. With a pedometer, I can sqeeze in walks by doing things like not spending my time trying to get a really good parking spot but instead parking so that I get in some steps. I now can walk my dog on different streets instead of following the same route which I had measured at one mile. This pedometer could have a big impact on me -- and the dog!
8:30 PM: Not having a reliable S Day backfired into eating four cups of ice cream and four cups of blueberries in a matter of minutes. I'm returning to a reliable Sunday of "unconditional permission to eat", two reliable Exception Days per month, and no fasting. I think I'm going to focus on an exerse program and set aside weight loss for a time.
Day 667 – Tuesday, July 6, 2010: 201.4 Well, the good news is that I got above 12,000 steps yesterday. I think I'm going to settle on every Sunday plus two extra days per month as days of "unconditional permission to eat." All other days are days of there meals per day with no snacks. That's enough to stabilize my weight at 200 pounds and keep me from bingeing outside those six days. It sounds absurd, but that in itself is a lot of progress. In order to lose weight, I need to change other variables. I'm going to look at more exercise and different foods.
7 PM: After drowning my sorrows in mint chocolate chip ice cream, I decided to face the reality that a "no portion control" approach stabilizes my weight at 200 pounds. I think I still will have six days of "unconditional permission to eat", but I need ot restrict my eating on all other days. Calorie counting? Yes. Calorie counting. Ugh. I may try estimating 300/500/700 which I remember having done when I was in my 20s. This is certainly less than I've been eating on normal days. I just plain got used to eating too much. The days of "unconditional permission to eat" are a necessary release so that I don't feel like I'm starving all the time.
7:40 PM: I'm going to try to stay off the computer, stop journaling, and just concentrate on this latest plan of 12,000 steps per day and counting calories on days other than those six days per month of "unconditonal permission to eat." It will take all my focus to get through this month, especially with a family reunion this weekend. I suspect I'll be taking lots of Exception Days, and that's OK. I have to start sometime, and I'm starting now.
Day 669 – Thursday, July 8, 2010: Katie got sunburned over the weekend, and she was showing me just how painful it was. Tom asked her if she learned anything, and I told her I still remember just how painful it was when I was a lifeguard for three days and didn't use any sunscreen. That might have been my last sunburn, at age 19, and I was particularly embarassed because it was my second year as a lifeguard. Hadn't I learned during my first year as a lifeguard?
I recall that sunburn now that I have yet another failed attempt at calorie counting under my belt. My reaction to calorie counting is binge eating. I've been through this countless times. When am I going to learn? At least I am learning something with a new experience -- using a pedometer. I think a stretch goal for me is to average 12,000 steps per day. Maybe I should just add walking to my old program of two Exception Days per month, reliiable S Days on Sundays, and no snacks or sweets on other days.
Day 670 – Friday, July 9, 2010: Last night, the start of my binge was the justification of eating fruit outside of mealtime, as recommended by the Pritiken book which recommends constant eating of low calorie density foods. Why was I interested in eating outside of mealtime? Because I was trying to restrict my calories at meals. From there, I went on to dark chocolate (not low calorie dense but also good for you) and ice cream (neither good for your nor low calorie dense).
I wish I could look back to a journal in fall of 2001 when I easily lost 25 pounds in a few months after the last child was born. What I recall is that I made a commitment to walk at the gym before my husband left for work, and I wanted oatmeal every morning, so much so that I brought a small oatmeal with me when we visited my brother in law in October so my husband could run a half-marathon. I'm thinking of buying a Cuisinart rice cooker that can be used for oatmeal. I already have a rice cooker, but it doesn't work too well for oatmeal.
Steps towards health are just that -- steps. I took a huge step with the framework of No S, and now I just need to add more steps. It's another hot day, and so I'd better get in a walk before it gets hotter. I can just start to feel a change in muscle tone in my upper legs, and it feels good. I've gone on lots of detours trying to get to a healthier me, and buying a pedometer was a step in the right direction, as was No S.
2 PM: I see how disruptive this family reunion will be for me, so I'm just going to take Exception Days until it is all over. My mother is grumpy because she broke a bone in her foot, and she's decided that my sister and I aren't helping enough so we're putting the burden on my sister in law. I see that there is a minimal amount of stress associated with following The No S Diet, and I'm not going to deal with it over the next several days. I complained to my husband, who chuckled and said it wouldn't bother him because he was golfing! I'll try to enjoy it while being on guard against put-downs. After all, this is a wonderful chance for us all to get together, and it's hard to have my parents be so negative. I have to remind myself continually of the power of a negative comment to ruin a child's day, whether the child be 9 or 51.
Day 674 – Tuesday, July 13, 2010: I'm back from the family reunion where I planned to and did take every single day as an Exception Day. It was nice to just let go and enjoy the great food and company. I did come away with some advice, particularly from my sister in law. She suggested I get some ideas for strengthening exercises from Shape magazine, which I will order, and she also suggested I write down my exercise program and what I eat. I do find it very motivating to write down my number of steps per day, but I've always bristled at the idea of writing down what I eat. I decided, however, to try it, since I want to figure out a diet that doesn't include portion control but does include weight loss! As a result, I'll write down what I eat on days that are not Exception Days or Sundays.
Day 679 – Sunday, July 18, 2010: Here is my most recent revision of my diet:
There are three types of days:
- Normal Days: These are all days of the week except Sundays and Exception Days. On these days, I can have three meals per day with no "portion control". There is no "portion control" at these meals since a "portion control" approach seems to trigger binge eating for me. I can have as much as I want of anything except sweets, but everything must be before me before I take one bite. Outside of mealtime, I can have liquids like orange juice or milk or even sugared pop but not semi-solid foods like frozen orange juice or smoothies. I write down what I eat on Normal Days in a calendar that I bought for just this purpose.
- Sundays: On Sundays, I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want all day long. It's the dieter's dream.
- Exception Days: These are two days per month other than Sundays which can be taken for whatever reason I want. On these days, like on Sundays, I have "unconditional permission to eat." If I don't use an Exception Day in a particular month, it carries over to the next month.
In addition, I try to have oatmeal for breakfast whenever possible, and I try to walk an average of 12,000 steps per day. I'm working my way up to 12,000 steps and will start tracking that amount in August.
Day 680 – Monday, July 19, 2010: I think I'm going to give myself time to build up a habit of walking 12,000 steps per day and instead jump into a habit of oatmeal every morning at breakfast while at home. Oatmeal keeps cropping up as a healhty food, and I just need to figure out an easy way to make it. I may buy a small crock pot just for making morning oatmeal. This is part of the reason why I like slow weight loss -- you can figure out what works well for you.
Day 681 – Tuesday, July 20, 2010: I got some very negative feedback from my parents regarding my diet and my arrogant view that I know better than the experts. It's upset the apple cart, so to speak, and I've been munching all day. It's not so much that I know better than the experts. It's more that I know the experts don't know.
I'm returing to my basic No S Diet with the addition of oatmeal, honey, and almonds as my standard breakfast. We'll see where that takes me. My next change after that will be to follow the Pedometer Walking approach of building steps taken.
Day 682 – Wednesday, July 21, 2010: My focus has been on losing weight. I am now changing to a focus on health. My approach has been to create more order in eating. Now I wish to add exercise and focus on what I eat.
10 AM: I want to somehow de-emphasize the results of actual weight and more focus on the habits that I am cultivating. How do I do that? I think I'll just focus on daily oatmeal for a time as well as the habit of no sweets and no snacks, which has fallen a bit by the wayside due to a family reunion and extended visit by my parents. They were unimpressed by the decrease in my glucose and cholesterol, telling me that it wasn't significant. My mother, who takes Lipitor, had told me she thought that this absurd idea of no snacking was going to cause big problems for my glucose and cholesterol, which is why I shoud snack and not follow this diet. Over two years, my glucose has dropped from 108 (considered pre-diabetic) to 95, a drop of just over 12%. My cholesterol level has dropped from 216 to 181, a drop of just over 16%. That just plain seems significant to me, especially if the trend continues.
I'm not yet ready for tracking the pedometer, unless I start off really slow, but I am ready for tracking oatmeal consumption. I need to stay confident in this approach.
11 AM: I think I'm going to try weighing myself just three times per year -- in September, January, and May. That will take the focus off my weight and put it on habits. Until September, I think my goal will be oatmeal, honey, and almonds for breakfast. I ordered a small crock pot with an enamel pot and a timer from Cuisinart so that I could have an exclusive pot for making oatmeal and so that I could set it up the night before to start during the night and be ready at breakfast time. If I'm working in the fall, and I certainly hope I am, I'll need to be more efficient with cooking.
Day 684 – Friday, July 23, 2010: I was all excited about walking 12,000 steps per day, and then I read Pedometer Walking and the suggestion to ramp up slowly. Yesterday, I got up to 6,159 steps. Today, at 3:30 PM, I'm sitting at 3,394 steps. It's not really difficult to get to 12,000 steps, but it does involve change. I've debated about just deciding to average 12,000 steps per day and be done with any sort of a "ramp up" approach. After all, my transition to No S Diet was "plunge in", and it worked out fine. Once a decision is made, it can be easier than going through the process of deciding. My husband has long complained about how I spend more time planning than doing. I think that combining my modified No S Diet (Sundays and two other "floater" days per month as S Days), Normal Days as being ones with no snacks and no sweets, oatmeal as a habit for breakfast, and 12,000 steps per day on average is a great step in the right direction for health. My sister in law contacted me about a possible opportunity for me when she works, and I have an interview in early August. My goal was a return to work in September, and I think I'll make it. I'll need to stop thinking about diet and health and just go on auto pilot with a good program. This program is easy to follow and won't take much time for monitoring. I think I can stick with it through next summer when I will once again be home with the kids.
6 PM: I'm up to 5,967 steps. Which would I prefer, to write down everything I eat or to walk 12,000 steps? Hands down, it would be to walk 12,000 steps. I absolutely detest writing down what I eat. I think I'll have fun getting to 12,000 steps. The dog needs to be roused for another walk. Luckily, it is absolutely a beautiful evening.
9 PM: I resorted to pacing in the house while talking on the phone, but I got above 12,000 steps. I can do this.
Day 685 – Saturday, July 24, 2010: I'm realizing that a person who is thin has habits which make a person thin (thank you, Aristotle, for stating the obvious which has been lost in the modern focus on willpower). Virtuous habits can be cultivated, or they can be natural, but they are practiced. For me, personally, writing down what I eat is onerous, but I enjoy counting my steps using a pedometer. There are many habits which can be formed which lead to thinness. I have stopped my weight gain and lost some weight by practicing a modified No S Diet, but it's been insufficient for me to become thin. I got stuck thinking I had to either live with the modified No S Diet or return to crazy calorie counting and probably bingeing. Now I recognize that I need to just add more habits. The habit of averaging 12,000 steps per day and the habit of eating oatmeal in the morning are the two habits that I choose to cultivate. My next weigh-in is September 3rd, which I have as the end date for a guess-Mom's-weight for my kids. I should be able to tell by then if the addition of these two habits will bring my weight down more. I'm hoping to be in the low 190s by then -- below 193.5, or a loss of 10% of my starting body weight of 215 pounds on 9/8/08.
9:30 PM: I remember reading somewhere that people who are successful at losing weight tend to be those who focus on health rather than weight. It occurred to me as I was out for a walk that those who focus on health are cultivating healthy habits whereas those who focus on weight tend to use willpower to cut back on calorie consumption. Could it be? I was listening to a business analyst Webinar today in which Aristotle was quoted and called "The Master". Yes, he is "The Master". His book on Ethics is one of the most influential books of all time. Habit. Habit. Habit. It's all about creating habits that can be sustained for life.
Day 688 – Tuesday, July 27, 2010: My No S Diet habits fell apart in the last few weeks, so I decided to step on the scale to see where I am. 201.6. It was disappointing. I managed to get down to 194.0 before I realized my old scale was broken. Then I got off track with habits that I was unwilling to sustain, like writing down what I eat.
Now I have two new habits -- 12,000 steps per day and oatmeal for breakfast. I'll stick with this approach to see what results. I think it is "portion control" which eventually ends diets, so what I need to find are habits other than "portion control" which allow me to lose weight. I can follow all these habits without trouble. My problem comes in as I experiment with what additional habits to follow.
8 PM: There's a rainbow in the sky, and I need to see its beauty and promise. I only got to 8,000 steps because of a four hour drive and rain. I took an Exception Day as a reaction to the weight above 200 pounds.
I need to make changes. It's been six years since I got above 200 pounds. It's been a year since I lost any weight. Enough is enough. Here is my new plan:
1. No snacks or sweets except on two Exception Days per month, which can be carried over to the next month if not used.
2. Fast until lunch on Wednesday and Friday.
3. Have oatmeal at breakfast whenever possible.
4. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day.
Day 689 – Wednesday, July 28, 2010: I learned, once again, that I'm going to go nuts if I can't tell myself that I'll have an S Day in just a few days. I took another Exception Day today, and now I'm down to zero Exception Days and back to Sundays as reliable days of "unconditional permission to eat." I think I can skip breakfast on Wednesdays and Fridays, have oatmeal on other mornings, and average 12,000 steps per day. That will have to do as a plan.
Day 690 – Thursday, July 29, 2010: Yesterday was an Exception Day, and today I weigh in at 202.2. I need the reliable S Day. Whenever It ry to eliminate it, I binge. Now what? Yesterday was Day 6 of walking. I averaged just under 12,000 steps. Is this going to be enough for me to lose weight? Probably not. I got a book on strengthening exercises and will try to add that as well. My problem is that I binge eat if I try to limit the amount I eat. I can delay to mealtime but that delay only is possible if I have an S Day on Sunday. Yesterday, my sister in law and I went to the Mall of America, and everywhere I looked there were people heavier than me. Meanwhile, I'm reading a book on John Adams, and his nickname was "His Rotundancy". Yes, politics was vicious back then as well. "His Rotundancy" would have fit right in in our country today -- someone like Chris Christie of New Jersey. One thing I have noted in reading the biography is that John Adams walked a lot. Walking isn't the answer. It may help, but it won't solve this problem. What am I to do? I don't know, but now I'm going to go have my morning oatmeal.
Day 691 – Friday, July 30, 2010: 201 today. I am tracking my weight against my goal weight of a loss of one pound per month. For July, the goal is 193. Tough. I've been through a lot of turmoil this summer as I've tried to figure out what to do. Walking can only help. Last night, my husband invited me to walk with him when it was just getting dark, and we drove to the next town to walk next to a lake. It was nice. I got above 15,000 steps yesterday so my average since last week would be 12,000 steps. I'm also eating oatmeal in the morning, which is an easy adjustment for me. Looking forward, I think I'll concentrate on finding an easy strengthening program. Habits. I'm going to be aware of my weight but focus on habits. There's no point in losing weight in a way that is unsustainable because you'll just gain the weight back.
7 PM: I'm grumpy because I'm hungry. Rummaging through the bookshelves, I found a book on strengthening exercises that is better than the one I just bought. It's called Strong Women Stay Slim by Miriam E. Nelson, Ph.D. That's the book that I'll use. It's got a program you can fit into your life.
Meanwhile, I found a suit for my interview next week. I have to go tonight to pick up my size (size 18 ) at a mall about 1/2 hour away. I wish I were already slimmer. It does make a difference in interviews, but oh well. I am where I am today.
Day 692 – Saturday, July 31, 2010: 201.2. It might take some time for me to read about and set up a simple program of strengthening exercises, but that's my next goal. I am so disgusted by my weight that I'm tempted to revert to "portion control", but I have to remind myself it's a dead end. In order to lose weight, I need to set up habits that are sustainable. "Portion control" is not sustainable because, sooner or later, there is a blow out. Cut corners, and you end up with a Deepwater Horizon. No -- I'm not cutting corners. What can I do to reduce weight that I can do for life? That's my goal. My goal is not immediate weight loss. It's sustainable weight loss.
Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:21 pm, edited 32 times in total.
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen,Kathleen wrote: Day 674 – Tuesday, July 13, 2010: I I did come away with some advice, particularly from my sister in law. she also suggested I write down ...what I eat. I do find it very motivating to write down my number of steps per day, but I've always bristled at the idea of writing down what I eat. I decided, however, to try it, since I want to figure out a diet that doesn't include portion control but does include weight loss! As a result, I'll write down what I eat on days that are not Exception Days or Sundays.
You would be astonished to find out how satisfying it feels
and how pleasureable it can become, to become Accountable
through entering all one's daily food into a computer software food journal.
If you so choose, you can TOTALLY IGNORE all of the nutritional values and calorie budgets etc,
and ...WITHOUT PORTION CONTROL...just pay attention to what and how much you eat,
and enter that information each day.
Your frequency of eating will not have a place for normal entry in a food journal,
but you could record that in the area for the day's personal notes.
My personal favorite of these is DietPower,
but there are also many other software food journaling programs out there.
Check them out.
I'm not saying anything about counting calories, or portion control.
This is simply about using an effective tool to record data.
AND, I mean ALL DATA, including the unconditional permission to eat days.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
Well, my goal is to lose one pound per month, and I've slipped behind, so I'll try recording what I eat on non-Exception Days. It could be I'll move towards recording what I eat on all days.
My parents have been upset with me about what I'm doing to my blood sugar and chloresterol with these days of "unconditional permission to eat." Well, I'm happy that my glucose has gone from 108 (pre-diabetic) two years ago to 99 last year to 95 this year, and my chloresterol has gone from 216 two years ago to 193 or so last year to 181 this year.
I am frankly shocked by the positive experience of having a pedometer. It may be that I'll enjoy recording what I eat as well. My sister in law had gained a lot of weight about 10 years ago because her daughter had medical problems, and now she looks quite in shape and healthy. She's told me over the weekend that she runs or walks about 25 miles per week in addition to the normal walking around time. She also strength trains.
Kathleen
Well, my goal is to lose one pound per month, and I've slipped behind, so I'll try recording what I eat on non-Exception Days. It could be I'll move towards recording what I eat on all days.
My parents have been upset with me about what I'm doing to my blood sugar and chloresterol with these days of "unconditional permission to eat." Well, I'm happy that my glucose has gone from 108 (pre-diabetic) two years ago to 99 last year to 95 this year, and my chloresterol has gone from 216 two years ago to 193 or so last year to 181 this year.
I am frankly shocked by the positive experience of having a pedometer. It may be that I'll enjoy recording what I eat as well. My sister in law had gained a lot of weight about 10 years ago because her daughter had medical problems, and now she looks quite in shape and healthy. She's told me over the weekend that she runs or walks about 25 miles per week in addition to the normal walking around time. She also strength trains.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Advantages of writing your food in a computer food journal
One great thing about using a computer software food journal similiar to DietPower,BrightAngel wrote:If you so choose, you can TOTALLY IGNORE all of the nutritional values and calorie budgets etc,
and ...WITHOUT PORTION CONTROL...just pay attention to what and how much you eat,
and enter that information each day.
This is simply about using an effective tool to record data.
AND, I mean ALL DATA, including the unconditional permission to eat days.
is that even though you currently don't want to count calories or control portions,
Someday in the future, you would be able to look back at your personal data,
and learn the accurate amounts, nutritional values and/or your eating patterns.
I have been making daily food entries into my DietPower journal for the past 6 years,
and I can access any day's food information from the past 6 years.
For Example, suppose I wanted to know exactly what and how much I ate
every Christmas Day or every Birthday or every Vacation for the past 6 years,
I can pull that data up and compare it.
I find this ability to access personal information to be very compelling.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
My problem is computer addiction. That's why I got a paper calendar. I'm trying to cut back on screen time for the kids, and they are quick to point out that I'm always on the computer.
I'm the classic example of a person who thinks on paper, which is why keeping a journal has been so important to me. I appreciate your recommendation to record what I eat. While I initially rejected the idea, I see that it will help me in figuring out where I can make improvements.
The fact is that my original modification of the diet (no snacks and sweets) did not result in a weight that I find acceptable, so now I'm trying different approaches. I think that a commitment to exercise, a willingness to write down what I eat (at least to start on non Exception Days), and the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast are how I'll change the diet. Fasting, I think, is going to come in at some point, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet.
My brother, by the way, told me that my sister in law rarely eats bread. I wonder if she's on some sort of low carb diet. I'm not ready for that at this point. If I can increase my activity level, that's a an improvement, and that's where I want to go for the moment.
The dog is looking at me expectantly. I burn more calories walking than typing!
Kathleen
My problem is computer addiction. That's why I got a paper calendar. I'm trying to cut back on screen time for the kids, and they are quick to point out that I'm always on the computer.
I'm the classic example of a person who thinks on paper, which is why keeping a journal has been so important to me. I appreciate your recommendation to record what I eat. While I initially rejected the idea, I see that it will help me in figuring out where I can make improvements.
The fact is that my original modification of the diet (no snacks and sweets) did not result in a weight that I find acceptable, so now I'm trying different approaches. I think that a commitment to exercise, a willingness to write down what I eat (at least to start on non Exception Days), and the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast are how I'll change the diet. Fasting, I think, is going to come in at some point, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet.
My brother, by the way, told me that my sister in law rarely eats bread. I wonder if she's on some sort of low carb diet. I'm not ready for that at this point. If I can increase my activity level, that's a an improvement, and that's where I want to go for the moment.
The dog is looking at me expectantly. I burn more calories walking than typing!
Kathleen
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Hi Kathleen,
I just wanted to let you know that I received a packet from the Weight Control & Diabetes Center today, inviting me to participate in the National Weight Control Registry.
Your encouragement inspired me to apply so ... thanks! 
I hope that everything is going well with you,
I just wanted to let you know that I received a packet from the Weight Control & Diabetes Center today, inviting me to participate in the National Weight Control Registry.
Your encouragement inspired me to apply so ... thanks! I hope that everything is going well with you,
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
sophiasapientia,
That's wonderful! Congratulations on being a rare person indeed who succeeds at keeping weight off!
Here's something from a Tuesday, July 13th Wall Street Journal article entitled "Why Some People Can Resist Dessert While Others Can't":
Some of the most intriguing imaging studies have peered into the brains of people who have lost significant weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone -- although researchers say they're hard to find.
"They are very controlled individuals, and they are very rare. We had to fly some in from Alaska," says Angelo Del Parigi, a neuroimaging scientiest who finally located 11 "post-obese" subjects who had dieted down to the lean range. In his studies for the National Institutes of Health's diabetes research center in Phoenix, Dr. Del Parigi found that food still elicited strong responses in the middle insula and the hippocampus, brain areas involving addiction, reward, learning and memory, just like the 23 obese subjects did.
This suggests that the tempation to see food as pleasure doesn't go away. "Post-obese poeple are extremely prone to regain weight," says Dr. Del Parigi. "The only way they have to counteract these strong predispositions is by having a very controlled lifestyle, with restrained food intake and exercise."
------------
My thought on this is that "portion control" is what causes the constant need for self-control, and habit of no snacks and no sweets on certain days mean you get a break from self-control because you aren't even thinking about food except at mealtime.
Kathleen
That's wonderful! Congratulations on being a rare person indeed who succeeds at keeping weight off!
Here's something from a Tuesday, July 13th Wall Street Journal article entitled "Why Some People Can Resist Dessert While Others Can't":
Some of the most intriguing imaging studies have peered into the brains of people who have lost significant weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone -- although researchers say they're hard to find.
"They are very controlled individuals, and they are very rare. We had to fly some in from Alaska," says Angelo Del Parigi, a neuroimaging scientiest who finally located 11 "post-obese" subjects who had dieted down to the lean range. In his studies for the National Institutes of Health's diabetes research center in Phoenix, Dr. Del Parigi found that food still elicited strong responses in the middle insula and the hippocampus, brain areas involving addiction, reward, learning and memory, just like the 23 obese subjects did.
This suggests that the tempation to see food as pleasure doesn't go away. "Post-obese poeple are extremely prone to regain weight," says Dr. Del Parigi. "The only way they have to counteract these strong predispositions is by having a very controlled lifestyle, with restrained food intake and exercise."
------------
My thought on this is that "portion control" is what causes the constant need for self-control, and habit of no snacks and no sweets on certain days mean you get a break from self-control because you aren't even thinking about food except at mealtime.
Kathleen
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Thanks Kathleen!
Fascinating article! I asked my DH if he thinks I am "self-controlled" and he laughed and said "That's you!" Granted I'm not self-controlled about everything -- I have a tendency to waste far too much time on the computer, for example -- but I am exceedingly stubborn and once I firmly make up my mind about something, I have the ability to be very, very self-controlled. So, while I've never seen imaging of my brain, I do think it is likely that it could be like that of those 11 post-obese subjects.
I've also found that Reinhard's podcasts about strictness and S Days Gone Wild have held true for me. I am pretty strict about the No S rules on N Days and have only had two, very minor red days since restarting No S at the New Year (perhaps made easier by being "self-controlled, I reckon.) I think this strictness has helped the habit take hold and carry over onto S Days.
Over time, my tolerance for excess has decreased even on S Days. I am discovering how much my body can handle through trial and error. Last weekend, for instance, we went out for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I had some chips and salsa before the meal and then proceeded to eat almost everything on my plate -- cheese enchiladas, rice and beans. But I did leave some food ... In the past, I wouldn't have left anything and I would have continued to munch on chips even when I was stuffed. Afterwards, I felt quite full, on the verge of being too full, and I naturally self-regulated later -- because I hate feeling bloated/sick -- by having a very light dinner (fruit.) In the past, I would have had a normal dinner with my family and had some dessert because it was an S Day. So, yes, I still see food as pleasure and enjoy it but my portions, even on my unrestricted S Days, are naturally/gradually getting smaller. Progress!
Fascinating article! I asked my DH if he thinks I am "self-controlled" and he laughed and said "That's you!" Granted I'm not self-controlled about everything -- I have a tendency to waste far too much time on the computer, for example -- but I am exceedingly stubborn and once I firmly make up my mind about something, I have the ability to be very, very self-controlled. So, while I've never seen imaging of my brain, I do think it is likely that it could be like that of those 11 post-obese subjects.
I totally agree that No S provides a framework that takes a huge mental pressure off in regards to food.My thought on this is that "portion control" is what causes the constant need for self-control, and habit of no snacks and no sweets on certain days mean you get a break from self-control because you aren't even thinking about food except at mealtime.
I've also found that Reinhard's podcasts about strictness and S Days Gone Wild have held true for me. I am pretty strict about the No S rules on N Days and have only had two, very minor red days since restarting No S at the New Year (perhaps made easier by being "self-controlled, I reckon.) I think this strictness has helped the habit take hold and carry over onto S Days.
Over time, my tolerance for excess has decreased even on S Days. I am discovering how much my body can handle through trial and error. Last weekend, for instance, we went out for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I had some chips and salsa before the meal and then proceeded to eat almost everything on my plate -- cheese enchiladas, rice and beans. But I did leave some food ... In the past, I wouldn't have left anything and I would have continued to munch on chips even when I was stuffed. Afterwards, I felt quite full, on the verge of being too full, and I naturally self-regulated later -- because I hate feeling bloated/sick -- by having a very light dinner (fruit.) In the past, I would have had a normal dinner with my family and had some dessert because it was an S Day. So, yes, I still see food as pleasure and enjoy it but my portions, even on my unrestricted S Days, are naturally/gradually getting smaller. Progress!
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
Hi Shannon,
The whole Wall Street Journal article is very interesting because the scientists show foods to people and then measure activity in their brain. I know for myself that the best thing about this diet is that I have developed the habit of simply tuning out temptation because I know that I can eat whatever I want on Sundays (I have one reliable S Day). I have learned by trial and error that having at least one reliable S Day per week is essential for me.
It is such a relief to not be in a constant struggle with food, isn't it?
My S Days are calmer now, too. I had an over the top S Day on Memorial Day weekend, but looking back I realize that had to do with experimenting with fasting. I think fasting is something I will need to do, but I'm not yet ready for it. I may give up breakfast one or two days per week, but that's it.
Since I'm still at an unacceptable weight of about 200 pounds, I keep on tweaking the diet to find what will work.
Kathleen
The whole Wall Street Journal article is very interesting because the scientists show foods to people and then measure activity in their brain. I know for myself that the best thing about this diet is that I have developed the habit of simply tuning out temptation because I know that I can eat whatever I want on Sundays (I have one reliable S Day). I have learned by trial and error that having at least one reliable S Day per week is essential for me.
It is such a relief to not be in a constant struggle with food, isn't it?
My S Days are calmer now, too. I had an over the top S Day on Memorial Day weekend, but looking back I realize that had to do with experimenting with fasting. I think fasting is something I will need to do, but I'm not yet ready for it. I may give up breakfast one or two days per week, but that's it.
Since I'm still at an unacceptable weight of about 200 pounds, I keep on tweaking the diet to find what will work.
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
August, 2010
Here are the current components of my diet:
1. On all Sundays and two additional Exception Days per month, I can eat whatever I want of as much as I want. The Exception Days carry over to the next month if not used.
2. On all other days, I do not have snacks or sweets. At mealtime, everything is before me before I take one bite. I can have liquids, including sugared pop, outside of mealtime.
3. For breakfast, I try to have oatmeal. If I'm home, I use McCann's steel cut oatmeal (started July 17, 2010).
4. I use a pedometer and average 12,00 steps per day (started July 24, 2010).
5. I'm working on a strengthening program (started August 1, 2010).
The following is a list of one weight from every four months of this diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
(Month 5) Day 120 – Monday, January 5, 2008: 209.2
(Month 9) Day 239 – Monday, May 4, 2009: 204.8
(Month 13) Day 362 – Friday, September 4, 2009: 197.8
(Month 17) Day 492 – Saturday, January 16, 2010: 199.0
(Month 22) Day 601 – Saturday, May 1, 2010: 194.4
The following is a journal for this month:
Day 693 – Sunday, August 1, 2010: The real backlash from giving up Sunday as a reliable S Day occurred at 3 AM this morning, when I had three cups of chocolate chip ice cream. I am not going to try that again. Instead, I'm starting a 10 week strengthening program from a book called Strong Women Stay Slim. The dog is pacing around, expecting a walk. I am also keeping up an average of 12,000 steps per day.
3 PM: The strengthening book had a record of weights from January, 2004, which is when I started my journal, now at about 500 pages. It's when I decided to find a way to lose weight permanently. My weights were:
January 3, 2004: 190.5
January 4, 2004: 186.5
January 5, 2004: 189.0
January 6, 2004: 186.5
January 7, 2004: 184.5
January 8, 2004: 185.0
January 9, 2004: 188.0
January 10, 2004: 187.0
I don't have much of a record of my weights before November, 2005, but I remember weighing 155.5 in early January, 2002 and crossing to above 180 in September. I don't think I've been below 180 since then.
I don't remember why I dropped weight training. Maybe it is critically important. The author of the book I'm reading certainly has strong arguments for including weight training in any effort to lose weight, and the strengthening program is very simple and short. You can do it at home. I'm doing it for at least 10 weeks.
Day 694 – Monday, August 2, 2010: Yesterday's eating confirmed for me the need for a reliable S Day once per week. I ate so much I had a stomach ache. When I first started this diet, I went months and months of eating on S Days until I had a stomach ache. Now I understand why. Thee is a human need for feasting, for stuffing yourself every once in a while. You put boundaries on how much is comfortable to eat if you exceed that amount every once in a while.
10 PM: After making homemade fudge (yes, that was a mistake), I decided that the diet I really need to follow is one with positive goals rather than negative goals -- that is, a list of what I will do (walk 12,000 steps, do strengthening exercises) rather than negative goals (no sweets on Normal Days). Needless to say, I am now parched because of the amount of fudge I ate, and I'm down to one Exception Day on the second day of the month. Ah, self-deception, the root of all evil...
Day 695 – Tuesday, August 3, 2010: 203.2. I took the plunge and weighed myself to see the effect of all my thrashing around. Back in December or January, I topped out at around 206 or 207. I think this may be my top-out weight. I'll work this month on my three new habits -- oatmeal for breakfast, an average of 12,000 steps per day, and strengthening exercises three times per week. That's enough of a change.
As I was driving my son to caddy this morning, I told him I want to encourage him to do what he wants. He's decided to caddy next summer rather than be a counselor in training at Boy Scout camp, and I told him I would support him in either choice. I told hm my father had wanted me to be a business executive, and I had wanted to be a writer. He quipped that I could write a book on how not to lose weight. I got a chuckle out of that. There doesn't seem to be a lot of evidence in my appearance that this program is a success. Maybe it isn't. I think I'm on the right path, though, of figuring out habits that result in my being thin. The No S Diet program, especially with my elimination of the "no seconds" limitation to one plateful at meals, was a start but not sufficient. Now I'm adding to it.
2 PM: After just two times of the strengthening exercises, I can feel a difference. What's remarkable about that is that there is more of an impact from an hour total of strengthening exercises than from the 12,000 steps per day I've been walking since July 24. Maybe it is strengthening exercises that have been missing from my program.
Day 696 – Wednesday, August 4, 2010: 203.2. It's only the 4th of the month, and I have only one Exception Day left. I'd like to get through the rest of the month following the five habits of my current diet and then see where I am. The addition of strengthening exercises may be very important. One thing I think is missing is fasting, but I'm not ready for that yet.
I'm unhappy about being back above 200 pounds after several months of experimenting, but I do have a positive result from all of this: I know that my minimum number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" is six. I need one reliable S Day per week, and I need Exception Days that can be used for special occasions or "just because". THrough all of this, I have learned to not be self-conscious when I'm not eating and others are. I have less of a focus on food than I did when I was always agonizing about whether or not to indulge. Now I have a budget and can use it how I see fit. The Exception Days serve a very different purpose from the reliable Sundays as a day of "unconditional permission to eat." The Sundays are a way to "let off steam" after a week in which I am following mild food restrictions of no snacks and no sweets.
I've now eliminated an entire area of debate in my mind by settling on six as the number of days of "unconditional permssion to eat." The rest of the diet is subject to change, but this is not.
7 AM: Exception Days allow me to follow the diet with "perfect compliance", since there will always be situations in which eating outside of mealtime is socially imperative -- it's one thing to only have drinks when you are out; it's another thing to refuse food made specifically for you and the occasion. Having a budget of Exception Days puts me in control of when I make an exception. I don't need to justify the choices. All I need is to have enough Exception Days in my bank of Exception Days.
12 PM: I was nervous before the interview and went and got Tic Tacs, bringing my Exception Days down to zero. I met with a representative from a consulting firm who will be on the lookout for consulting gigs for me. We sat at a small table with three chairs, so it really made a difference that my breath smelled of Tic Tacs rather than nervous bad breath. This is why I need Exception Days. Now, for the rest of the month, I'm not going to take any more Exception Days.
9 PM: In addition to taking an Exception Day toay, I only got to a grand total of 2,198 steps as of right now. In addition to the interview today, I put two coats of paint on a wall and watched the ending of the movie John Adams. The dog never got a walk. That's OK. I'm way behind because of steps of 9,165 two days ago, 11,8133 yesterday, and an abyssmal 2,198 today. It seems to me that 12,000 steps is a great goal for me because I have to think about it every day to make that number of steps.
We go to Itasca State Park (headwaters of the Mississippi) on Friday and we leave in two weeks for a week of camping in the Boundary Waters (Minnesota's boundary with Canada) and on the North Shore (of Lake Superior). I'll have time to think. If I can just get through this month, I'll see if I will make progress following these five habits. Following the first two was insufficient. Following all five may help me to lose weight, but I may need to increase what I do to actually become thin. That's OK. These five habits are at minimum an interim step, movement in the right direction. I had gotten stuck on thinking it's The No S Diet rules, the intuitive eating rules, or conventional diets that lead to binge eating. In actual fact, The No S Diet is about building habits. Reinhard offers the habits that worked for him. They don't work for me, but I can use the same philosophy to figure out the habits that will work for me.
Day 697 – Thursday, August 5, 2010: 203.8. What have I learned in all this? I've learned that:
- a philosophy of "portion control" is what causes the cycle of diet, lose weight, binge, gain more than you lost.
- "perfect compliance" with a diet makes it easier over time
- physical exercise changes taste in food.
I'm on the right path. It's just discouraging to see my weight. It's like being on a hiking path, getting to a dead end, and having to turn around and go back some before making progress again.
Day 698 – Friday, August 6, 2010: 202.6. Having used up all my Exception Days, I get to see the impact on my weight of no Exception Days for a month. I'm thinking that awarding myself 10 Exception Days to restart the diet was a bad idea, like awarding amnesty to illegal immigrants now in the country. It encourages bad behavior. Now that I've drawn down to zero Exception Days, am I going to risk failure or am I going to create another buffer? Well, the answer is: no additional buffers. I've learned my lesson.
I think that the addition of this strengthening program may have more impact on my weight than my decision to walk an average of 12,000 steps per day. I am spending about 1/2 hour three times per week on the strengthening program, and today will be my third day doing it. To my total shock, I can feel the difference in my thighs already. It's not a visible difference. It's internal. There's more of a feeling of strength.
Day 700 – Sunday, August 8, 2010: I managed to walk over the rocks that cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi. Tom called it a "spider walk" since I was mostly on hands and feet, crawling like a toddler who is in the stage between crawling and walking. That's OK. This was a good baseline for me because I just finished my first week of strengthening exercises which both help with strength and balance. I told Tom that I would scamper when we are up there next year!
This morning, Tom was lecturing me about my diet, and I started rummaging in the van as he talked. Then he asked, "What are you looking for?" My response: "The chocolate covered pretzels." It was an S Day, after all!
This month will be a challenge for me, since I have zero Exception Days. No matter what, I need to get through the month only having "unconditional permission to eat" on Sundays. I ate a lot today, and that's OK.
I am keeping up with an average of 12,000 steps per day, and I am doing 20 minutes of strengthening exercises three times per day. I decided just to have Cheerios today rather than instant oatmeal. It's so easy to make oatmeal at home when you have a slow cooker that automatically goes to warm. I don't want to have a negative association with making oatmeal by forcing myself to have oatmeal while camping.
One positive experience I had was when I took the two younger girls to the bathroom and stayed outside. I walked the dog around the bath house to add to my step count. I thought back to our camping trip in September when I sat on a rock and waited for them. The difference in my behavior -- betwen sitting and walking -- may add up to a difference in pounds as I keep to a walking commitment that is a stretch for me but not really a challenge.
It's 7 PM, a storm is coming, and I only am at 7,147 steps as I write. It's time for a walk.
Day 701 – Monday, August 9, 2010: 204.4. I can look out the window at purple and pink clouds as the sun is just coming up. What a beautiful morning. I need to keep in perspective the weight that I am recording. It's as if I've been through a hurricane, months of upheaval as I tried ot figure out my diet. Now I am set on the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" per month (six). Now I know I need to add exercise to the program, and I have a first stab at what might work. My weight is dissapointing. I've gained so much in the last month, and I feel it in my arms, my waist, and my thighs. I need to slog through this month to see what the new program delivers. A Monday morning weight can be several pounds higher than a Sunday morning weight, and last week I had two Exception Days. It will be OK.
Day 702 – Tuesday, August 10, 2010: 203.4. I rolled out of bed thinking, "I have got to lose weight." Then, as I took a few steps, I could feel my calf muscles hurt from yesterday's strengthening exercises. I had to reassure myself that what I am doing is creating habits for sustainable weight loss. Yesterday, I was only at about 7,000 steps for walking, so I need to walk even more than 12,000 today. If I can just keep my focus on the habits and not on the slow weight loss, I should be fine. I have to tell myself that I've been experimenting with habits that turned out to counterproductive, and now I have a program that I could follow for life.
10 AM: Our 16 year old took her driver's test today and passed. She's happy! While we were there, I renewed my license and put down 193 as my weight. I figured that I've been striving for that weight for so long that I might as well put it on my driver's license! I'm hoping that my new combination of habits will have me down to 193 by my birthday, which is in October. The reason why 193 is such an important milestone is that 193.5 is 10% less than my starting weight of 215 pounds.
5 PM: I was complaining to the kids about the amount of "screen time" they have and the waste of time it was to play video games, and my daughter brought up the time I spend journaling. She's right. Maybe I can cut back to just once per week. I'm trying to make Sundays special, so maybe I'll just write on Sundays.
Here are the current components of my diet:
1. On all Sundays and two additional Exception Days per month, I can eat whatever I want of as much as I want. The Exception Days carry over to the next month if not used.
2. On all other days, I do not have snacks or sweets. At mealtime, everything is before me before I take one bite. I can have liquids, including sugared pop, outside of mealtime.
3. For breakfast, I try to have oatmeal. If I'm home, I use McCann's steel cut oatmeal (started July 17, 2010).
4. I use a pedometer and average 12,00 steps per day (started July 24, 2010).
5. I'm working on a strengthening program (started August 1, 2010).
The following is a list of one weight from every four months of this diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 – Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
(Month 5) Day 120 – Monday, January 5, 2008: 209.2
(Month 9) Day 239 – Monday, May 4, 2009: 204.8
(Month 13) Day 362 – Friday, September 4, 2009: 197.8
(Month 17) Day 492 – Saturday, January 16, 2010: 199.0
(Month 22) Day 601 – Saturday, May 1, 2010: 194.4
The following is a journal for this month:
Day 693 – Sunday, August 1, 2010: The real backlash from giving up Sunday as a reliable S Day occurred at 3 AM this morning, when I had three cups of chocolate chip ice cream. I am not going to try that again. Instead, I'm starting a 10 week strengthening program from a book called Strong Women Stay Slim. The dog is pacing around, expecting a walk. I am also keeping up an average of 12,000 steps per day.
3 PM: The strengthening book had a record of weights from January, 2004, which is when I started my journal, now at about 500 pages. It's when I decided to find a way to lose weight permanently. My weights were:
January 3, 2004: 190.5
January 4, 2004: 186.5
January 5, 2004: 189.0
January 6, 2004: 186.5
January 7, 2004: 184.5
January 8, 2004: 185.0
January 9, 2004: 188.0
January 10, 2004: 187.0
I don't have much of a record of my weights before November, 2005, but I remember weighing 155.5 in early January, 2002 and crossing to above 180 in September. I don't think I've been below 180 since then.
I don't remember why I dropped weight training. Maybe it is critically important. The author of the book I'm reading certainly has strong arguments for including weight training in any effort to lose weight, and the strengthening program is very simple and short. You can do it at home. I'm doing it for at least 10 weeks.
Day 694 – Monday, August 2, 2010: Yesterday's eating confirmed for me the need for a reliable S Day once per week. I ate so much I had a stomach ache. When I first started this diet, I went months and months of eating on S Days until I had a stomach ache. Now I understand why. Thee is a human need for feasting, for stuffing yourself every once in a while. You put boundaries on how much is comfortable to eat if you exceed that amount every once in a while.
10 PM: After making homemade fudge (yes, that was a mistake), I decided that the diet I really need to follow is one with positive goals rather than negative goals -- that is, a list of what I will do (walk 12,000 steps, do strengthening exercises) rather than negative goals (no sweets on Normal Days). Needless to say, I am now parched because of the amount of fudge I ate, and I'm down to one Exception Day on the second day of the month. Ah, self-deception, the root of all evil...
Day 695 – Tuesday, August 3, 2010: 203.2. I took the plunge and weighed myself to see the effect of all my thrashing around. Back in December or January, I topped out at around 206 or 207. I think this may be my top-out weight. I'll work this month on my three new habits -- oatmeal for breakfast, an average of 12,000 steps per day, and strengthening exercises three times per week. That's enough of a change.
As I was driving my son to caddy this morning, I told him I want to encourage him to do what he wants. He's decided to caddy next summer rather than be a counselor in training at Boy Scout camp, and I told him I would support him in either choice. I told hm my father had wanted me to be a business executive, and I had wanted to be a writer. He quipped that I could write a book on how not to lose weight. I got a chuckle out of that. There doesn't seem to be a lot of evidence in my appearance that this program is a success. Maybe it isn't. I think I'm on the right path, though, of figuring out habits that result in my being thin. The No S Diet program, especially with my elimination of the "no seconds" limitation to one plateful at meals, was a start but not sufficient. Now I'm adding to it.
2 PM: After just two times of the strengthening exercises, I can feel a difference. What's remarkable about that is that there is more of an impact from an hour total of strengthening exercises than from the 12,000 steps per day I've been walking since July 24. Maybe it is strengthening exercises that have been missing from my program.
Day 696 – Wednesday, August 4, 2010: 203.2. It's only the 4th of the month, and I have only one Exception Day left. I'd like to get through the rest of the month following the five habits of my current diet and then see where I am. The addition of strengthening exercises may be very important. One thing I think is missing is fasting, but I'm not ready for that yet.
I'm unhappy about being back above 200 pounds after several months of experimenting, but I do have a positive result from all of this: I know that my minimum number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" is six. I need one reliable S Day per week, and I need Exception Days that can be used for special occasions or "just because". THrough all of this, I have learned to not be self-conscious when I'm not eating and others are. I have less of a focus on food than I did when I was always agonizing about whether or not to indulge. Now I have a budget and can use it how I see fit. The Exception Days serve a very different purpose from the reliable Sundays as a day of "unconditional permission to eat." The Sundays are a way to "let off steam" after a week in which I am following mild food restrictions of no snacks and no sweets.
I've now eliminated an entire area of debate in my mind by settling on six as the number of days of "unconditional permssion to eat." The rest of the diet is subject to change, but this is not.
7 AM: Exception Days allow me to follow the diet with "perfect compliance", since there will always be situations in which eating outside of mealtime is socially imperative -- it's one thing to only have drinks when you are out; it's another thing to refuse food made specifically for you and the occasion. Having a budget of Exception Days puts me in control of when I make an exception. I don't need to justify the choices. All I need is to have enough Exception Days in my bank of Exception Days.
12 PM: I was nervous before the interview and went and got Tic Tacs, bringing my Exception Days down to zero. I met with a representative from a consulting firm who will be on the lookout for consulting gigs for me. We sat at a small table with three chairs, so it really made a difference that my breath smelled of Tic Tacs rather than nervous bad breath. This is why I need Exception Days. Now, for the rest of the month, I'm not going to take any more Exception Days.
9 PM: In addition to taking an Exception Day toay, I only got to a grand total of 2,198 steps as of right now. In addition to the interview today, I put two coats of paint on a wall and watched the ending of the movie John Adams. The dog never got a walk. That's OK. I'm way behind because of steps of 9,165 two days ago, 11,8133 yesterday, and an abyssmal 2,198 today. It seems to me that 12,000 steps is a great goal for me because I have to think about it every day to make that number of steps.
We go to Itasca State Park (headwaters of the Mississippi) on Friday and we leave in two weeks for a week of camping in the Boundary Waters (Minnesota's boundary with Canada) and on the North Shore (of Lake Superior). I'll have time to think. If I can just get through this month, I'll see if I will make progress following these five habits. Following the first two was insufficient. Following all five may help me to lose weight, but I may need to increase what I do to actually become thin. That's OK. These five habits are at minimum an interim step, movement in the right direction. I had gotten stuck on thinking it's The No S Diet rules, the intuitive eating rules, or conventional diets that lead to binge eating. In actual fact, The No S Diet is about building habits. Reinhard offers the habits that worked for him. They don't work for me, but I can use the same philosophy to figure out the habits that will work for me.
Day 697 – Thursday, August 5, 2010: 203.8. What have I learned in all this? I've learned that:
- a philosophy of "portion control" is what causes the cycle of diet, lose weight, binge, gain more than you lost.
- "perfect compliance" with a diet makes it easier over time
- physical exercise changes taste in food.
I'm on the right path. It's just discouraging to see my weight. It's like being on a hiking path, getting to a dead end, and having to turn around and go back some before making progress again.
Day 698 – Friday, August 6, 2010: 202.6. Having used up all my Exception Days, I get to see the impact on my weight of no Exception Days for a month. I'm thinking that awarding myself 10 Exception Days to restart the diet was a bad idea, like awarding amnesty to illegal immigrants now in the country. It encourages bad behavior. Now that I've drawn down to zero Exception Days, am I going to risk failure or am I going to create another buffer? Well, the answer is: no additional buffers. I've learned my lesson.
I think that the addition of this strengthening program may have more impact on my weight than my decision to walk an average of 12,000 steps per day. I am spending about 1/2 hour three times per week on the strengthening program, and today will be my third day doing it. To my total shock, I can feel the difference in my thighs already. It's not a visible difference. It's internal. There's more of a feeling of strength.
Day 700 – Sunday, August 8, 2010: I managed to walk over the rocks that cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi. Tom called it a "spider walk" since I was mostly on hands and feet, crawling like a toddler who is in the stage between crawling and walking. That's OK. This was a good baseline for me because I just finished my first week of strengthening exercises which both help with strength and balance. I told Tom that I would scamper when we are up there next year!
This morning, Tom was lecturing me about my diet, and I started rummaging in the van as he talked. Then he asked, "What are you looking for?" My response: "The chocolate covered pretzels." It was an S Day, after all!
This month will be a challenge for me, since I have zero Exception Days. No matter what, I need to get through the month only having "unconditional permission to eat" on Sundays. I ate a lot today, and that's OK.
I am keeping up with an average of 12,000 steps per day, and I am doing 20 minutes of strengthening exercises three times per day. I decided just to have Cheerios today rather than instant oatmeal. It's so easy to make oatmeal at home when you have a slow cooker that automatically goes to warm. I don't want to have a negative association with making oatmeal by forcing myself to have oatmeal while camping.
One positive experience I had was when I took the two younger girls to the bathroom and stayed outside. I walked the dog around the bath house to add to my step count. I thought back to our camping trip in September when I sat on a rock and waited for them. The difference in my behavior -- betwen sitting and walking -- may add up to a difference in pounds as I keep to a walking commitment that is a stretch for me but not really a challenge.
It's 7 PM, a storm is coming, and I only am at 7,147 steps as I write. It's time for a walk.
Day 701 – Monday, August 9, 2010: 204.4. I can look out the window at purple and pink clouds as the sun is just coming up. What a beautiful morning. I need to keep in perspective the weight that I am recording. It's as if I've been through a hurricane, months of upheaval as I tried ot figure out my diet. Now I am set on the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" per month (six). Now I know I need to add exercise to the program, and I have a first stab at what might work. My weight is dissapointing. I've gained so much in the last month, and I feel it in my arms, my waist, and my thighs. I need to slog through this month to see what the new program delivers. A Monday morning weight can be several pounds higher than a Sunday morning weight, and last week I had two Exception Days. It will be OK.
Day 702 – Tuesday, August 10, 2010: 203.4. I rolled out of bed thinking, "I have got to lose weight." Then, as I took a few steps, I could feel my calf muscles hurt from yesterday's strengthening exercises. I had to reassure myself that what I am doing is creating habits for sustainable weight loss. Yesterday, I was only at about 7,000 steps for walking, so I need to walk even more than 12,000 today. If I can just keep my focus on the habits and not on the slow weight loss, I should be fine. I have to tell myself that I've been experimenting with habits that turned out to counterproductive, and now I have a program that I could follow for life.
10 AM: Our 16 year old took her driver's test today and passed. She's happy! While we were there, I renewed my license and put down 193 as my weight. I figured that I've been striving for that weight for so long that I might as well put it on my driver's license! I'm hoping that my new combination of habits will have me down to 193 by my birthday, which is in October. The reason why 193 is such an important milestone is that 193.5 is 10% less than my starting weight of 215 pounds.
5 PM: I was complaining to the kids about the amount of "screen time" they have and the waste of time it was to play video games, and my daughter brought up the time I spend journaling. She's right. Maybe I can cut back to just once per week. I'm trying to make Sundays special, so maybe I'll just write on Sundays.
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:26 am, edited 27 times in total.
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Strawberry Roan
- Posts: 1208
- Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm
What very interesting reading.
I believe that it will always be calories in - calories out. Whether the food is placed on one plate three times a day or shoved in our mouth over a kitchen sink.
That said, eating on a dinner plate with proper utensils does seem more civilized.
I actually need much fewer calories than one would read on various "health" sites to maintain my weight - or to lose a few pounds as I am doing right now.
We each need to find our own path, using the healthiest route possible.
Again, enjoyed reading the journal and the comments of other journalers.
To your health,
I believe that it will always be calories in - calories out. Whether the food is placed on one plate three times a day or shoved in our mouth over a kitchen sink.
That said, eating on a dinner plate with proper utensils does seem more civilized.
I actually need much fewer calories than one would read on various "health" sites to maintain my weight - or to lose a few pounds as I am doing right now.
We each need to find our own path, using the healthiest route possible.
Again, enjoyed reading the journal and the comments of other journalers.
To your health,
Berry
Thank you, Berry. As with many things, I think there is a "tipping point", a point beyond which it is much more difficult to turn back. I quit work last year because it was clear to me that my son was at a "tipping point", going into the last day of school still with an F on his report card and an "I don't care" attitude. Another year along that path, and he could have been into all sorts of problems.
Instead, he ended the year with all As and A-s, he's caddying this summer, and he was nominated Assistant Senior Patrol Leader for his Scout troop.
With me, I went way over the "tipping point" with weight, and I can pinpoint the "tipping point" to the first week of January in 2002. Now I need to establish habits that help me to lose weight, but what habits? I'm focusing on strengthening exercises.
Kathleen
Instead, he ended the year with all As and A-s, he's caddying this summer, and he was nominated Assistant Senior Patrol Leader for his Scout troop.
With me, I went way over the "tipping point" with weight, and I can pinpoint the "tipping point" to the first week of January in 2002. Now I need to establish habits that help me to lose weight, but what habits? I'm focusing on strengthening exercises.
Kathleen
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Hope that you have wonderful trips, Kathleen!We go to Itasca State Park (headwaters of the Mississippi) on Friday and we leave in two weeks for a week of camping in the Boundary Waters (Minnesota's boundary with Canada) and on the North Shore (of Lake Superior). I'll have time to think. If I can just get through this month, I'll see if I will make progress following these five habits.
My dad owns a cabin on the Gunflint Trail (Boundary Waters) and I spent my childhood summers there. Definitely a wonderful area for contemplating & hiking. Enjoy! Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen,Kathleen wrote: The No S Diet is about building habits.
Reinhard offers the habits that worked for him.
They don't work for me,
but I can use the same philosophy to figure out the habits that will work for me.
I think that this is an important Truth to keep in mind.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
sophiasapientia,
Yes, it is glorious in Northern Minnesota. We'll be near Ely when we are in the Boundary Waters. At Lake Itasca, which is where we are going this weekend, you can cross the Mississippi by climbing over rocks that span a creek about 20 feet wide. My now 9 year old just loves doing this. She scampers back and forth across the creek several times. I "scamper" over once!
BrightAngel,
You told me exactly this several times, and I finally realized you were right. The basic idea is to develop habits that are sustainable that lead to a lower weight. There is no one list of habits. It may be that there needs to be a combination of diet and exercise, but there is no magic bullet. We all have to find our own way. We have to find what works for us. It took a lot of convincing for me to realize you were right about this!
Kathleen
Yes, it is glorious in Northern Minnesota. We'll be near Ely when we are in the Boundary Waters. At Lake Itasca, which is where we are going this weekend, you can cross the Mississippi by climbing over rocks that span a creek about 20 feet wide. My now 9 year old just loves doing this. She scampers back and forth across the creek several times. I "scamper" over once!
BrightAngel,
You told me exactly this several times, and I finally realized you were right. The basic idea is to develop habits that are sustainable that lead to a lower weight. There is no one list of habits. It may be that there needs to be a combination of diet and exercise, but there is no magic bullet. We all have to find our own way. We have to find what works for us. It took a lot of convincing for me to realize you were right about this!
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen wrote: The No S Diet is about building habits.
Reinhard offers the habits that worked for him.
They don't work for me,
but I can use the same philosophy to figure out the habits that will work for me.
BrightAngel wrote:Kathleen,
I think that this is an important Truth to keep in mind.
This is a good summary of one of my core beliefs.Kathleen wrote:BrightAngel,
I finally realized you were right.
The basic idea is to develop habits that are sustainable that lead to a lower weight.
There is no one list of habits.
It may be that there needs to be a combination of diet and exercise,
but there is no magic bullet.
We all have to find our own way.
We have to find what works for us.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, I cannot keep from making this comment.Kathleen wrote: 10 AM: Our 16 year old took her driver's test today and passed. She's happy!
5 PM: I was complaining to the kids about the amount of "screen time" they have and the waste of time it was to play video games, and my daughter brought up the time I spend journaling.
She's right. Maybe I can cut back to just once per week. I'm trying to make Sundays special, so maybe I'll just write on Sundays.
No, Your daughter is NOT right.
When I read the Disrespectal comment your daughter made to you, I was appalled. Not only did you give her the right to "smart talk" you, but then you took her mouthing off as a criticism worthy of mulling over, as though she were an adult peer or parent giving you Guidence.
I'd inform her that the next time she makes such an offensive statement to her mother, she will lose that new license for a little while. Teaching a child to have Respect for her mother's boundaries is something worth following through with, rather than deciding you don't have the right to enjoy some free time for yourself doing something that you find personally helpful.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
There's a book called The Sibling Society about how there is no respect for authority: everyone is a sibling. I was shocked by the vehemence of your remarks, but perhaps I'm blind to what you see even through my writing. I want to reduce the amount of time I spend journaling, mostly because I think I've figured out that I just need to figure out and follow habits that will lead to my being thin. That still doesn't justify my daughter talking to me in that way. Thanks for making me think.
Kathleen
There's a book called The Sibling Society about how there is no respect for authority: everyone is a sibling. I was shocked by the vehemence of your remarks, but perhaps I'm blind to what you see even through my writing. I want to reduce the amount of time I spend journaling, mostly because I think I've figured out that I just need to figure out and follow habits that will lead to my being thin. That still doesn't justify my daughter talking to me in that way. Thanks for making me think.
Kathleen
Cultivating Habits that Result in Being Thin
August 11, 2010, revised August 30, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For almost two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that are sustainable for life and that result in weight loss.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (eg. Weight Watchers) or types of food (eg. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating seven habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Here are the habits I am currently cultivating:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on all Sundays: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. For me, Sundays are a release from the pressure of dieting. It’s a dieter’s dream to eat as much as I want of whatever I want, even if I am gorging on chocolate nut fudge. I do fast from midnight on Saturday until after church or after noon, so the "unconditional permission to eat" is only for part of one day per week. This time of "unconditional permission to eat" gives me motivation throughout the week when I do not have "unconditional permission to eat."
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month so that I can follow my diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but I don’t have sweets and everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. The elimination of sweets on all but six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate eating when I do have sweets.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises from these two books as I improve. Right now, I can manage one push up (a cause for merriment when my children observe me!), so I have a long way to go in building muscle strength! I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on the one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book. Somehow, weight training fell off my priority list, and I regret it!
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises earlier this month, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
5. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day six days per week (not on Sundays): I invested $30 in an Omron GoSmart pedometer with a watch and a record of steps for the prior seven days. My inspiration for this habit was from the book Move a Little, Lose a Lot by Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He argued that it is important to build exercise into your daily routine rather than to attempt to go to a gym regularly. I set my goal at 12,000 steps as a “stretch goalâ€, and I follow Dr. Nelson’s recommendation to limit aerobic exercise to six days per week. When I fall short of my daily goal, I walk more on other days. There is effort involved in making this goal, but my life also seems calmer. I walk around while waiting for children and park in the first available spot when I am going to stores. The dog also loves her daily walks!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I think there is a benefit to periodic fasting in that I learn to experience hunger, and I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. I fast from dinner through lunch the next day for my Wednesday and Friday fasts and from midnight through lunch for my Sunday fast. For these short fasts, I experience mild hunger but no side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (From Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast does involve the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories in which the Atkins diet is compared to fasting in creating an effect of only mild hunger because of the severe restriction of carbohydrates. I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle mnay hours without food. A bill was just passed in Congress that had the word "hunger-free" in it. I think "hunger-free" may mean "obese-prone", and I would prefer to experience mild hunger so that I have a good sense of how much I need to eat in order to be satisfied. Knowing I can tolerate hunger is also very calming.
7. For breakfasts on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, try to have oatmeal: Steel cut oatmeal is filling and inexpensive. I bought a small Cuisinart crock pot which can be set to 1 ½ hours for cooking oatmeal. It switches to warm after the cooking time ends. This makes cooking oatmeal easy for me, and I have a satisfying start to the day!
August, 2010
Starting Number of Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Orderly Eating (described in August 11, 2010 post):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2 (also Day 703 of The No S Diet)
The following my journal from the current month:
Day 1 – Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2. I decided to restart my numbering and just focus on the habits I have already selected. It's been difficult to reach 12,000 steps per day, so I decided to settle on 10,000 only. It's time to stop analyzing and start doing.
Day 2 – Thursday, August 12, 2010: There is a line from the book Strong Women Stay Slim that I considered this morning, and I pulled out the book to look it up. Here it is: "I find that the women most likely to succeed in losing weight are the ones whose chief motivation is to become healthier." It occurred to me that I now know why that is: those who focus on health are those who work to build habits, whereas those who focus on weight loss tend to take paths that are unsustainable in the long run, like monitoring portion control. Oh, sure, there are always the exceptions to the rule, those who can lose weight and keep it off by managing portion control, but I'm not one of them. My best bet is to focus on habits. Now I've selected my habitt, and now I am focusing on following them. For that reason, I'm going to try to weigh myself just once per month. If I end up not losing any more weight, then I'll change the diet. I think I may just change one habit at a time in that case, but first I'm going to give this diet a chance.
12 PM: My son convinced me to go back to a 12,000 step per day goal.
Day 3 – Friday, August 13, 2010: I hauled my two older children 45 minutes away to participate in a park & rec program and took the two younger children to the Mall of America to go on the Ghostly Gangplank, whichi is basically a ropes course. While they were climbing up the ropes, I was walking around to add steps on my pedometer. This is why I think this program could help: I'm actually changing my behavior. The dog also got two walks today, so I'm right now at 14,827 steps. Now I need to do my strengthening program. It's embarassing. It should be easy, but it's not. I was telling the kids that all they have to do is remember me at Lake Itasca to know the importance of strengthening exercises, and my son said what he'd do is remember my doing the chair stand -- sitting at the edge of a chair, rising up slowly, and then slowly sitting back down. It was difficult for me!
Day 4 – Saturday, August 14, 2010: 201.0. I decided to weigh myself this morning and was pleasantly surprised. My focus needs to be on meeting my goals for habits rather than results, and then I need to trust that the results will follow. I picked up The Mayo Clinic Diet from the library yesterday and had both a positive and negative reaction to it: there is a lot of focus on habits (which I think is good), but the habits include portion control (which I think is negative since it is not sustainable). Now that I have restarted my diet and settled on six habits, I'll see what results. No one would consult me for diet advice at this point.
Day 5 – Sunday, August 15, 2010: 200.4. My day of rest. No oatmeal. No pedometer. As much food as I want of whatever I want all day long. When I drop off Tom for caddying, I'll stop by Starbucks for a celebratory frappachino.
I have a book, which I got from out of print books on Amazon, which I believe contains a description, for the first time, of a program based on counting calories and tracking number of calories expended in exercise. It's a book by Ancel and Margaret Keys called Eat Well and Stay Well, and it was published in 1959. There's discussion of calories required, calories consumed, and calories expended, but there is no discussion whatsoever of the human desire to do something like go out on a glorious summer morning, pick up a tasty treat, and consume it without regard to its calorie count.
10 PM: I'm uncomfortably stuffed, and that's OK. Tonight, I was reading through The Mayo Clinic Diet, and it almost seemed like a transitional book. It talked a lot about establishing and following habits like not eating in front of the TV, but the core of the diet is the same old same old "portion control" approach that has been proven ineffective in the long run for all but the obsessively committed. I'm not one of those. I never will be one of those. My best bet is to continue on the path I'm on, allowing six days per month of "unconditional permission to eat" and following six habits that very manageable for life. I managed a "portion control" approach for about 10 years. It seems to me that those who are morbidly obese are probably those who have hung in the longest with "portion control", trying and failing over and over again. I feel nothing but compassion for those who are the weight of two or more people. It seems to me that "letting go" would have resulted in even less weight. The really fat are those, I think, who have tried the hardest and continued trying despite repeated failure.
10 PM: It has taken me months and months to find a sugar bowl. I finally found one I don't particularly like in a thrift store. Tehre is something very offputting to me about a suger pourer. I don't buy much into the theory that a person will eat less if the plate is smaller, but I do buy ito the idea that spooning out sugar is preferable to pouring on sugar.
Day 7 – Tuesday, August 17, 2010: 201.4
It's hard to go back to early March and see a weight of 196.8. Since then, I figured out that my scale was inaccurate and I've experimented numerous times with changing my habits.
I've been involving the kids in my weight loss efforts by having them guess my weight every six months, and the person who chooses closest to my actual weight wins $50. Here are the predictions from early March for my weight on September 3:
Ellie: 5.2 pounds
Katie: 9 pounds
Tom: pi/e or 3.14159/1.1557271 or approximately 1.1557271
Anne: e, or 2.71828
It looks like Tom will win since he guessed I'd lose 1 pound and I've gained weight. I've been though a lot with dieting in the last six months. I haven't lost weight. In fact, I've gained weight. That's OK. I think I've got a good approach now.
1 PM: Yesterday, I managed to get to 12,004 steps. At 11 at night, I was walking around the house to get my number of steps above 12,000. I also created a spreadsheet for tracking average number of steps. It occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, my analysis part of dieting is coming to an end. It is a challenge for me to get to 12,000 steps. It is a challenge for me to do the strengthening exercises. I think what I need to do now is just stick with the program as developed right now and see how much weight I lose over the next six to twelve months. I need a break from all my tweaking. Everything that I am doing now I can continue doing for the indefinite future. It's seems almost like a different stage in my life, like when I walked into the orthodontist's office for the first time.
6 PM: This afternoon, it hit home for me the misery that people inflict on themselves by following a "portion control" approach to weight management. I have six habits that I'm following. I am not controlling portions. Will I lose weight? This is unknown. What is known is that I won't be miserable and my health will improve because of the increase in amount of exercise.
On Friday, we leave for Northern Minnesota. I think that this coming vacation will be a dividing line between the analysis phase of dieting and the following phase of dieting. Going forward, there needs to be very little analysis. I appreciate the misery of feeling hungry and denying yourself and not even being able to sleep because you are so hungry. I appreciate the self-disgust of giving in and eating everything in sight. It's due to portion control. It's due to the constant, never ending battle to eat less than you want.
How sad. How sad that I lived that way for years and years. Being obese is preferable. That's why I've had the persistence to continue trying anything else rather than to return to "portion control." Now what? Am I willing to settle for obesity? No. I think I've found a way to lose weight without controlling portions. These six habits that I have settled upon are a start. They may need to change so that I can lose weight, but I think I will at least lose some.
Sometimes you just need to turn the page in your life and go on. Sometimes you waste time today regretting yesterday, and yesterday cannot be changed.
It's time to go on. The whole society is wrapped up in "portion control", from Michelle Obama launching an anti-obesity epidemic campaign that features eating a little bit less to the Mayo Clinic wrapping a "portion control" approach up in the promotion of habits.
Here is a summary of the entire Mayo Clinic Diet book in one sentence from page 82: "Your ability to control portions and plan meals will make or break your weight-loss efforts."
Actually, I think, your willingness to try to control portions is what means either a constant sense of deprivation or binge behavior and obesity. I have come to believe that a diet which includes "portion control" as a strategy is ultimately self-defeating because you cannot be satisfied. Maybe I'm too harsh. The No S Diet does have portion control of "one plateful" on days other than S Days so people can eat to satisfaction on S Days. People do fill up on fruits and vegetables. People can drink lots of water or coffee or diet pop. Still, people are not eating what they want to satisfaction.
For me, there have been so many diets that just failed that I could almost cry. I regret the lost years. I regret the pain. I regret the misery.
It's time to turn the page. I want to focus on making these six habits firmly established for me. Even if I don't lose much weight, I will improve my health. It's only 7 PM, and I've already walked more than 11,000 steps. I need to focus on the positive and a bright future.
And, in a few days, we go camping. It's such a joy to camp.
Day 8 – Wednesday, August 18, 2010: 200.6. It's not politically correct to call anything evil, but I think that a portion control approach to weight management might qualify. The Machiavellian philosophy of "the ends justify the means" tends to be viewed as evil, at least by traditional Catholics, and dieting definitely qualifies as an approach of "the ends justify the means". In order to achieve what is perceived as a good end (a lower weight), a bad means (portion control) is used. Why would I consider portion control to be a bad means? Portion control means not eating to satisfaction. It means denying the body the food it desires. Constant portion control means a constant state of self-denial and misery, a constant state of self-imposed starvation. That's a bad means.
Or, maybe, my perspective is the reason why I'm obese.
I'm pleased that my weight went down so much from last week, and I hope that this is the last week that I have a weight above 200 pounds. By the time I return from camping on August 29th, I hope that my weight is permanently below 200 pounds. It's a very positive experience to have my focus be on adding to my number of steps rather than restricting my number of calories. The dog loves it, too. We're off for a walk!
7 PM: A portion control approach to weight management is evil and subversive. Such harsh words. Is there truth in it? It's my perspective only, but I feel right now as though I've dug down and dug down and finally achieved the end of "what business analysts call "root cause". I think the obesity epidemic was caused by portion control.
Day 9 – Thursday, August 19, 2010: 201.8. I'm not bringing my scale along with me for camping this year. I want to give these six habits a solid six months of testing before I consider tweaking them in any way. The only part of my program that I think is not going to change is the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" being set to six per month, all Sundays plus two floating Exception Days per month. I've become convinced myself that that number is my absolute lowest limit. Other parts of the program could change, especially if I lose very little weight, but this will not. I'm still tracking success against a monthly weight loss of 1 pound per month since September, 2008. I should have weighed 192 this month. That's OK. I'm not that far from the goal, and I can catch up now that I'm not forever tweaking. It was a big step to figure out the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat".
7:45 AM: Here's the problem: My diet is missing what I think might be a key component, which is the experience of hunger. I went back to my journal for earlier this summer to try to understand why I've gained weight since then. I was experimenting with one day of fasting being my way to earn a day of feasting, and that meant that the feasting was conditional on fasting. That didn't work. I need a reliable day of feasting. I appreciate that fasting is a way for me to learn how much I need to eat. Dr. Miriam Nelson, in one of her books (Strong Women Eat Well) talked about the dangers of ketosis, which is when a person either fasts or follows a high-protein, low-carbohydrate diet. The problems include "your heart must work harder to pump blood. People have been known to die from these diets." (p. 111 of the book). One effect of this approach is bad breath, and I experienced bad breath myself when I tried fasting for 24 hours. It was easy to do, far easier than I had imagined, but I was concerned about the effect of fasting on my health. I think I may try moderating the approach of fasting by simply skipping breakfast, when practical, on two mornings per week. Since Wednesdays and Fridays were traditional Fast Days, that's what I'll try. I just decided not to tweak my diet for six months, and here I've changed it after two hours. That's OK. This list of seven habits will be a good foundation for whatever lifelong habits I eventually develop.
I'm not restarting my counting because this is just the addition of one habit, and I'm tracking my average number of steps since Day 1 of this diet. My average is above 12,000 right now in preparation for not being able to walk much tomorrow because of a long car ride.
I've done a lot of thinking this week about dieting because of our vacation. I want this vacation to be the dividing line between tweaking my diet habits and following a stable list of habits.
Tomorrow, we'll be busy packing. This was my last morning to really think about dieting, between the time I dropped Tom off for caddying and the time the girls get up and I take Anne to an orthodontist appointment.
Instead of creating an aggressive schedule of exercise, I focused on analysis. I hope that all my analysis pays off with a program that is easy to follow for the rest of my life. Time will tell.
Day 10 – Friday, August 20, 2010: b]201.4. One of the benefits of journaling is that I get to look back to see what happened. Back in June, my weight got down, but then I started binge eating. Why? It was the fasting, I think. Now I'm following a much easier fast from dinner the night before until lunch instead of from dinner to dinner. We'll see if I can get some benefit from fasting without suffering from the dreaded "diet backlash."
Day 11 – Saturday, August 21, 2010: 200.4. On the way to Ely.
Day 12 – Sunday, August 22, 2010: In Ely.
Day 13 – Monday, August 23, 2010: In Ely.
Day 14 – Tuesday, August 24, 2010: In Ely.
Day 15 – Wednesday, August 25, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 16 – Thursday, August 26, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 17 – Friday, August 27, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 18 – Saturday, August 28, 2010: On the way home from Gooseberry Falls. Moonrise over Lake Superior was just beautiful. We were in the best campsite in the park, and we could walk about 100 feet to cliffs over Lake Superior. Our vacation gave me some perspective on life, and it gave me time to appreciate the richness of being with my family. I have wasted much time on weight without appreciating what is all around me.
As for my diet, I already changed it. I brought along the printout of an article which my sister had sent me, which can be found at:
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/healthreport/s ... 969924.htm
I read this interview many times while on vacation. Here is the part that was most of interest to me:
Norman Swan: There's a non drug that does it which is exercise, particularly resistance exercise, building up your muscles.
Robert Lustig: Exactly, in fact exercise is the best treatment. The question is why does exercise work in obesity? Because it burns calories? That's ridiculous. Twenty minutes of jogging is one chocolate chip cookie, I mean you can't do it. One Big Mac requires three hours of vigorous exercise to work that off, that's not the reason that exercise is important, exercise is important for three reasons exclusive of the fact that it burns calories.
The first is it increases skeletal muscle insulin sensitivity, in other words it makes your muscle more insulin sensitive, therefore your pancreas can make less, therefore your levels can drop, therefore there's less insulin in your blood to shunt sugar to fat. That's probably the main reason that exercise is important and I'm totally for it.
The second reason that exercise is important is because it's the single best treatment to get your cortisol down. Cortisol is your stress hormone, it's the hormone that goes up when you are mega-stressed, it's the hormone that basically causes visceral fat deposition which is the bad fat and it has been tied to the metabolic syndrome. So by getting your cortisol down you're actually reducing the amount of fat deposited and it also reduces food intake. People think that somehow exercise increases food intake, it does not, it reduces food intake.
And then the third reason that exercise is important, which is somewhat not well known, but I'm trying to evaluate this at the present time, is that it actually helps detoxify the sugar fructose. Fructose actually is a hepato-toxin; now fructose is fruit sugar but we were never designed to take in so much fructose. Our consumption of fructose has gone from less than half a pound per year in 1970 to 56 pounds per year in 2003.
Norman Swan: It's the dominant sugar in these so-called sugar free jams for example that you buy, these sort of natural fruit jams.
Robert Lustig: Right, originally it was used because since it's not regulated by insulin it was thought to be the perfect sugar for diabetics and so it got introduced as that. Then of course high fructose corn syrup came on the market after it was invented in Japan in 1966, and started finding its way into American foods in 1975. In 1980 the soft drink companies started introducing it into soft drinks and you can actually trace the prevalence of childhood obesity, and the rise, to 1980 when this change was made.
Norman Swan: What is it about this, it's got more calories than ordinary sugar weight for weight hasn't it?
Robert Lustig: No, actually it's not the calories that are different it's the fact that the only organ in your body that can take up fructose is your liver. Glucose, the standard sugar, can be taken up by every organ in the body, only 20% of glucose load ends up at your liver. So let's take 120 calories of glucose, that's two slices of white bread as an example, only 24 of those 120 calories will be metabolised by the liver, the rest of it will be metabolised by your muscles, by your brain, by your kidneys, by your heart etc. directly with no interference. Now let's take 120 calories of orange juice. Same 120 calories but now 60 of those calories are going to be fructose because fructose is half of sucrose and sucrose is what's in orange juice. So it's going to be all the fructose, that's 60 calories, plus 20% of the glucose, so that's another 12 out of 60 -- so in other words 72 out of the 120 calories will hit the liver, three times the substrate as when it was just glucose alone.
That bolus of extra substrate to your liver does some very bad things to it.
______________________
Part of the reason I read it so many times is that I had no idea what it was saying. If you look at the beginning of the except, it says that exercise is not the way to counterbalance caloric intake. That has been exactly my view all my life. I have exercised to feel better and never to lose weight.
In reading this article, I see that there is the argument that exercise -- particularly strengthening exercises -- help to regulate appetite.
Bingo! I don't want to use portion control to eat less. I want to follow habits which result in my wanting to eat less.
Another argument in the article is that eating sweets increases appetite as well. Interesting. Limiting sweets to Sundays probably helps with regulating appetite as well.
I did make two changes to my diet -- already! My husband suggested I not eat breakfast on Sundays. He has a habit of not eating breakfast on Sunday because of communion.
I'll do that, making skipping breakfast three times per week my way of fasting.
I also am looking at adding a few strengthening exercises to my strengthening routine. I plan to have a routine that I follow three times per week and that takes no more than 45 minutes. This is still under exploration. I may add three exercises to the six exercise routine I already have.
One of those three additional exercises is a push up. I tried a modified push up and accomplished exactly one (sort of) to the merriment of my family!
I tell them, "You have to start somewhere!"
I place a high value on persistence, and the kids are seeing me persist.
I also think that a saying of my father's is very key in my weight loss effort: "If something isn't working, try something else -- ANYTHING ELSE!"
So -- I am trying something else. I'm excited to see how much I weigh tomorrow. My hope is that I am below 200 and will never, ever again return to above 200 pounds.
Camping gives me such joy, such peace, such a sense of -- well, frankly -- the divine. I come back home to laundry and cleaning and, next week, getting the kids off to school and starting a jobhunt and continuing my weight loss saga, but that one week will carry me through much.
In his book on John Adams, David McCullough quoted this great man: "I find my imagination, in spite of all my exertions, roaming in the Milky Way, among the nebulae, those mighty orbs, and stupendous orbits of suns, planets, satellites, and comets, which compose the incomprehensible universe; and if I do not sink into nothing in my own estimation, I feel an irresistible impulse to fall on my knees, in adoration of the power that moves, the wisdom that directs, and the benevolence that sanctifies theis wonderful whole."
It is true that nature gives just so much joy to life but so does having a family. To see the wonder in their eyes is the greatest joy!
My motivation with weight loss comes down to paving the way so that my children don't make the same miserable mistakes I have made in being healthy. We were very active this week, climbing on rocks and hiking and even just putting up the tent and taking care of day to day cleaning the old fashioned way, with hot water and dishwashing soap.
It was also technology free -- no TV, computer, or iPod. Conversation and activity replaced islands of technology.
I need to keep this going.... And here I am on the computer!
Day 19 – Sunday, August 29, 2010: 198.8. I added the Sunday fast because it seemed like it could help, but it occurred to me this morning that it possibly could help very much. Because people used to fast to prepare for communion and did not consider Sunday a Fast Day but rather a Feast Day, I completely missed the idea that there was a fast prior to communion on Sundays. This tradition of fasting until after church continued right up until I was a girl in the mid 1960s. My husband's family is so traditional that they continued not having Sunday breakfast, whereas my family immediately started having food right up until a few minutes before we left for church, since a fast is now required only until one hour before communion. Out of respect for Tom, I have refrained from eating after about 10 when Mass started at 10:30. With The No S Diet, however, I've been up early gorging on candy and ice cream. Sometimes, I would go to church so stuffed with food that I would have essentially already met my goal of feeling satisfied for the day. I must admit that it irritated him that I would be gorging on candy and ice cream in the morning, but I figured that I was following the rules for a communion fast and this was my way to be able to not binge during the rest of the week.
Now what? Will not eating on Sunday morning impact how much I eat for the rest of the day even though I can eat as much as I want? TIme will tell. I think it may.
Day 20 – Monday, August 30, 2010: 200.4. Exception Day First day of school for Tom and Anne. I'm once again above 200 pounds, but I'm seeing progress with changes to my weight management approach. My weight today, on a Monday, is the same as on Sunday two weeks ago. If this keeps up, I should be able to lose at least one pound per month.
7 PM: I just didn't last until dinner. I wanted to eat and so I did.
Day 21 – Tuesday, August 31, 2010: First day of school for Katie and Ellie. It's the last day of August, and now I come to the very end of analysis paralysis. Except for the strengthening exercise program, I think I'm set as for the habits I'm trying to cultivate. Time will tell how much weight I lose with these habits, especially since I persist in not wanting to have any sort of "portion control" as part of my diet. Am I on a fool's mission? Possibly. Probably. Still, if I could save my children the agony of what I endured in periodically restricting food and then having it all collapse when I was older, this whole exercise in analysis has been worth it. I think it would be the single greatest gift I could give my children -- the gift of knowing how to be physically healthy without it being a daily burden. Time will tell.
As for my writing, I think I'll try to write once per week -- maybe on Fridays. This is a lifestyle change, and it must be sustainable for life. Daily writing was useful as I analyzed, but now it would interfere with my goal of maintaining a lower weight without much thought or effort.
August 11, 2010, revised August 30, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For almost two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that are sustainable for life and that result in weight loss.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (eg. Weight Watchers) or types of food (eg. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating seven habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Here are the habits I am currently cultivating:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on all Sundays: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. For me, Sundays are a release from the pressure of dieting. It’s a dieter’s dream to eat as much as I want of whatever I want, even if I am gorging on chocolate nut fudge. I do fast from midnight on Saturday until after church or after noon, so the "unconditional permission to eat" is only for part of one day per week. This time of "unconditional permission to eat" gives me motivation throughout the week when I do not have "unconditional permission to eat."
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month so that I can follow my diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but I don’t have sweets and everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. The elimination of sweets on all but six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate eating when I do have sweets.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises from these two books as I improve. Right now, I can manage one push up (a cause for merriment when my children observe me!), so I have a long way to go in building muscle strength! I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on the one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book. Somehow, weight training fell off my priority list, and I regret it!
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises earlier this month, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
5. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day six days per week (not on Sundays): I invested $30 in an Omron GoSmart pedometer with a watch and a record of steps for the prior seven days. My inspiration for this habit was from the book Move a Little, Lose a Lot by Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He argued that it is important to build exercise into your daily routine rather than to attempt to go to a gym regularly. I set my goal at 12,000 steps as a “stretch goalâ€, and I follow Dr. Nelson’s recommendation to limit aerobic exercise to six days per week. When I fall short of my daily goal, I walk more on other days. There is effort involved in making this goal, but my life also seems calmer. I walk around while waiting for children and park in the first available spot when I am going to stores. The dog also loves her daily walks!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I think there is a benefit to periodic fasting in that I learn to experience hunger, and I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. I fast from dinner through lunch the next day for my Wednesday and Friday fasts and from midnight through lunch for my Sunday fast. For these short fasts, I experience mild hunger but no side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (From Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast does involve the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories in which the Atkins diet is compared to fasting in creating an effect of only mild hunger because of the severe restriction of carbohydrates. I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle mnay hours without food. A bill was just passed in Congress that had the word "hunger-free" in it. I think "hunger-free" may mean "obese-prone", and I would prefer to experience mild hunger so that I have a good sense of how much I need to eat in order to be satisfied. Knowing I can tolerate hunger is also very calming.
7. For breakfasts on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, try to have oatmeal: Steel cut oatmeal is filling and inexpensive. I bought a small Cuisinart crock pot which can be set to 1 ½ hours for cooking oatmeal. It switches to warm after the cooking time ends. This makes cooking oatmeal easy for me, and I have a satisfying start to the day!
August, 2010
Starting Number of Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Orderly Eating (described in August 11, 2010 post):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2 (also Day 703 of The No S Diet)
The following my journal from the current month:
Day 1 – Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2. I decided to restart my numbering and just focus on the habits I have already selected. It's been difficult to reach 12,000 steps per day, so I decided to settle on 10,000 only. It's time to stop analyzing and start doing.
Day 2 – Thursday, August 12, 2010: There is a line from the book Strong Women Stay Slim that I considered this morning, and I pulled out the book to look it up. Here it is: "I find that the women most likely to succeed in losing weight are the ones whose chief motivation is to become healthier." It occurred to me that I now know why that is: those who focus on health are those who work to build habits, whereas those who focus on weight loss tend to take paths that are unsustainable in the long run, like monitoring portion control. Oh, sure, there are always the exceptions to the rule, those who can lose weight and keep it off by managing portion control, but I'm not one of them. My best bet is to focus on habits. Now I've selected my habitt, and now I am focusing on following them. For that reason, I'm going to try to weigh myself just once per month. If I end up not losing any more weight, then I'll change the diet. I think I may just change one habit at a time in that case, but first I'm going to give this diet a chance.
12 PM: My son convinced me to go back to a 12,000 step per day goal.
Day 3 – Friday, August 13, 2010: I hauled my two older children 45 minutes away to participate in a park & rec program and took the two younger children to the Mall of America to go on the Ghostly Gangplank, whichi is basically a ropes course. While they were climbing up the ropes, I was walking around to add steps on my pedometer. This is why I think this program could help: I'm actually changing my behavior. The dog also got two walks today, so I'm right now at 14,827 steps. Now I need to do my strengthening program. It's embarassing. It should be easy, but it's not. I was telling the kids that all they have to do is remember me at Lake Itasca to know the importance of strengthening exercises, and my son said what he'd do is remember my doing the chair stand -- sitting at the edge of a chair, rising up slowly, and then slowly sitting back down. It was difficult for me!
Day 4 – Saturday, August 14, 2010: 201.0. I decided to weigh myself this morning and was pleasantly surprised. My focus needs to be on meeting my goals for habits rather than results, and then I need to trust that the results will follow. I picked up The Mayo Clinic Diet from the library yesterday and had both a positive and negative reaction to it: there is a lot of focus on habits (which I think is good), but the habits include portion control (which I think is negative since it is not sustainable). Now that I have restarted my diet and settled on six habits, I'll see what results. No one would consult me for diet advice at this point.
Day 5 – Sunday, August 15, 2010: 200.4. My day of rest. No oatmeal. No pedometer. As much food as I want of whatever I want all day long. When I drop off Tom for caddying, I'll stop by Starbucks for a celebratory frappachino.
I have a book, which I got from out of print books on Amazon, which I believe contains a description, for the first time, of a program based on counting calories and tracking number of calories expended in exercise. It's a book by Ancel and Margaret Keys called Eat Well and Stay Well, and it was published in 1959. There's discussion of calories required, calories consumed, and calories expended, but there is no discussion whatsoever of the human desire to do something like go out on a glorious summer morning, pick up a tasty treat, and consume it without regard to its calorie count.
10 PM: I'm uncomfortably stuffed, and that's OK. Tonight, I was reading through The Mayo Clinic Diet, and it almost seemed like a transitional book. It talked a lot about establishing and following habits like not eating in front of the TV, but the core of the diet is the same old same old "portion control" approach that has been proven ineffective in the long run for all but the obsessively committed. I'm not one of those. I never will be one of those. My best bet is to continue on the path I'm on, allowing six days per month of "unconditional permission to eat" and following six habits that very manageable for life. I managed a "portion control" approach for about 10 years. It seems to me that those who are morbidly obese are probably those who have hung in the longest with "portion control", trying and failing over and over again. I feel nothing but compassion for those who are the weight of two or more people. It seems to me that "letting go" would have resulted in even less weight. The really fat are those, I think, who have tried the hardest and continued trying despite repeated failure.
10 PM: It has taken me months and months to find a sugar bowl. I finally found one I don't particularly like in a thrift store. Tehre is something very offputting to me about a suger pourer. I don't buy much into the theory that a person will eat less if the plate is smaller, but I do buy ito the idea that spooning out sugar is preferable to pouring on sugar.
Day 7 – Tuesday, August 17, 2010: 201.4
It's hard to go back to early March and see a weight of 196.8. Since then, I figured out that my scale was inaccurate and I've experimented numerous times with changing my habits.
I've been involving the kids in my weight loss efforts by having them guess my weight every six months, and the person who chooses closest to my actual weight wins $50. Here are the predictions from early March for my weight on September 3:
Ellie: 5.2 pounds
Katie: 9 pounds
Tom: pi/e or 3.14159/1.1557271 or approximately 1.1557271
Anne: e, or 2.71828
It looks like Tom will win since he guessed I'd lose 1 pound and I've gained weight. I've been though a lot with dieting in the last six months. I haven't lost weight. In fact, I've gained weight. That's OK. I think I've got a good approach now.
1 PM: Yesterday, I managed to get to 12,004 steps. At 11 at night, I was walking around the house to get my number of steps above 12,000. I also created a spreadsheet for tracking average number of steps. It occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, my analysis part of dieting is coming to an end. It is a challenge for me to get to 12,000 steps. It is a challenge for me to do the strengthening exercises. I think what I need to do now is just stick with the program as developed right now and see how much weight I lose over the next six to twelve months. I need a break from all my tweaking. Everything that I am doing now I can continue doing for the indefinite future. It's seems almost like a different stage in my life, like when I walked into the orthodontist's office for the first time.
6 PM: This afternoon, it hit home for me the misery that people inflict on themselves by following a "portion control" approach to weight management. I have six habits that I'm following. I am not controlling portions. Will I lose weight? This is unknown. What is known is that I won't be miserable and my health will improve because of the increase in amount of exercise.
On Friday, we leave for Northern Minnesota. I think that this coming vacation will be a dividing line between the analysis phase of dieting and the following phase of dieting. Going forward, there needs to be very little analysis. I appreciate the misery of feeling hungry and denying yourself and not even being able to sleep because you are so hungry. I appreciate the self-disgust of giving in and eating everything in sight. It's due to portion control. It's due to the constant, never ending battle to eat less than you want.
How sad. How sad that I lived that way for years and years. Being obese is preferable. That's why I've had the persistence to continue trying anything else rather than to return to "portion control." Now what? Am I willing to settle for obesity? No. I think I've found a way to lose weight without controlling portions. These six habits that I have settled upon are a start. They may need to change so that I can lose weight, but I think I will at least lose some.
Sometimes you just need to turn the page in your life and go on. Sometimes you waste time today regretting yesterday, and yesterday cannot be changed.
It's time to go on. The whole society is wrapped up in "portion control", from Michelle Obama launching an anti-obesity epidemic campaign that features eating a little bit less to the Mayo Clinic wrapping a "portion control" approach up in the promotion of habits.
Here is a summary of the entire Mayo Clinic Diet book in one sentence from page 82: "Your ability to control portions and plan meals will make or break your weight-loss efforts."
Actually, I think, your willingness to try to control portions is what means either a constant sense of deprivation or binge behavior and obesity. I have come to believe that a diet which includes "portion control" as a strategy is ultimately self-defeating because you cannot be satisfied. Maybe I'm too harsh. The No S Diet does have portion control of "one plateful" on days other than S Days so people can eat to satisfaction on S Days. People do fill up on fruits and vegetables. People can drink lots of water or coffee or diet pop. Still, people are not eating what they want to satisfaction.
For me, there have been so many diets that just failed that I could almost cry. I regret the lost years. I regret the pain. I regret the misery.
It's time to turn the page. I want to focus on making these six habits firmly established for me. Even if I don't lose much weight, I will improve my health. It's only 7 PM, and I've already walked more than 11,000 steps. I need to focus on the positive and a bright future.
And, in a few days, we go camping. It's such a joy to camp.
Day 8 – Wednesday, August 18, 2010: 200.6. It's not politically correct to call anything evil, but I think that a portion control approach to weight management might qualify. The Machiavellian philosophy of "the ends justify the means" tends to be viewed as evil, at least by traditional Catholics, and dieting definitely qualifies as an approach of "the ends justify the means". In order to achieve what is perceived as a good end (a lower weight), a bad means (portion control) is used. Why would I consider portion control to be a bad means? Portion control means not eating to satisfaction. It means denying the body the food it desires. Constant portion control means a constant state of self-denial and misery, a constant state of self-imposed starvation. That's a bad means.
Or, maybe, my perspective is the reason why I'm obese.
I'm pleased that my weight went down so much from last week, and I hope that this is the last week that I have a weight above 200 pounds. By the time I return from camping on August 29th, I hope that my weight is permanently below 200 pounds. It's a very positive experience to have my focus be on adding to my number of steps rather than restricting my number of calories. The dog loves it, too. We're off for a walk!
7 PM: A portion control approach to weight management is evil and subversive. Such harsh words. Is there truth in it? It's my perspective only, but I feel right now as though I've dug down and dug down and finally achieved the end of "what business analysts call "root cause". I think the obesity epidemic was caused by portion control.
Day 9 – Thursday, August 19, 2010: 201.8. I'm not bringing my scale along with me for camping this year. I want to give these six habits a solid six months of testing before I consider tweaking them in any way. The only part of my program that I think is not going to change is the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat" being set to six per month, all Sundays plus two floating Exception Days per month. I've become convinced myself that that number is my absolute lowest limit. Other parts of the program could change, especially if I lose very little weight, but this will not. I'm still tracking success against a monthly weight loss of 1 pound per month since September, 2008. I should have weighed 192 this month. That's OK. I'm not that far from the goal, and I can catch up now that I'm not forever tweaking. It was a big step to figure out the number of days of "unconditional permission to eat".
7:45 AM: Here's the problem: My diet is missing what I think might be a key component, which is the experience of hunger. I went back to my journal for earlier this summer to try to understand why I've gained weight since then. I was experimenting with one day of fasting being my way to earn a day of feasting, and that meant that the feasting was conditional on fasting. That didn't work. I need a reliable day of feasting. I appreciate that fasting is a way for me to learn how much I need to eat. Dr. Miriam Nelson, in one of her books (Strong Women Eat Well) talked about the dangers of ketosis, which is when a person either fasts or follows a high-protein, low-carbohydrate diet. The problems include "your heart must work harder to pump blood. People have been known to die from these diets." (p. 111 of the book). One effect of this approach is bad breath, and I experienced bad breath myself when I tried fasting for 24 hours. It was easy to do, far easier than I had imagined, but I was concerned about the effect of fasting on my health. I think I may try moderating the approach of fasting by simply skipping breakfast, when practical, on two mornings per week. Since Wednesdays and Fridays were traditional Fast Days, that's what I'll try. I just decided not to tweak my diet for six months, and here I've changed it after two hours. That's OK. This list of seven habits will be a good foundation for whatever lifelong habits I eventually develop.
I'm not restarting my counting because this is just the addition of one habit, and I'm tracking my average number of steps since Day 1 of this diet. My average is above 12,000 right now in preparation for not being able to walk much tomorrow because of a long car ride.
I've done a lot of thinking this week about dieting because of our vacation. I want this vacation to be the dividing line between tweaking my diet habits and following a stable list of habits.
Tomorrow, we'll be busy packing. This was my last morning to really think about dieting, between the time I dropped Tom off for caddying and the time the girls get up and I take Anne to an orthodontist appointment.
Instead of creating an aggressive schedule of exercise, I focused on analysis. I hope that all my analysis pays off with a program that is easy to follow for the rest of my life. Time will tell.
Day 10 – Friday, August 20, 2010: b]201.4. One of the benefits of journaling is that I get to look back to see what happened. Back in June, my weight got down, but then I started binge eating. Why? It was the fasting, I think. Now I'm following a much easier fast from dinner the night before until lunch instead of from dinner to dinner. We'll see if I can get some benefit from fasting without suffering from the dreaded "diet backlash."
Day 11 – Saturday, August 21, 2010: 200.4. On the way to Ely.
Day 12 – Sunday, August 22, 2010: In Ely.
Day 13 – Monday, August 23, 2010: In Ely.
Day 14 – Tuesday, August 24, 2010: In Ely.
Day 15 – Wednesday, August 25, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 16 – Thursday, August 26, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 17 – Friday, August 27, 2010: At Gooseberry Falls.
Day 18 – Saturday, August 28, 2010: On the way home from Gooseberry Falls. Moonrise over Lake Superior was just beautiful. We were in the best campsite in the park, and we could walk about 100 feet to cliffs over Lake Superior. Our vacation gave me some perspective on life, and it gave me time to appreciate the richness of being with my family. I have wasted much time on weight without appreciating what is all around me.
As for my diet, I already changed it. I brought along the printout of an article which my sister had sent me, which can be found at:
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/healthreport/s ... 969924.htm
I read this interview many times while on vacation. Here is the part that was most of interest to me:
Norman Swan: There's a non drug that does it which is exercise, particularly resistance exercise, building up your muscles.
Robert Lustig: Exactly, in fact exercise is the best treatment. The question is why does exercise work in obesity? Because it burns calories? That's ridiculous. Twenty minutes of jogging is one chocolate chip cookie, I mean you can't do it. One Big Mac requires three hours of vigorous exercise to work that off, that's not the reason that exercise is important, exercise is important for three reasons exclusive of the fact that it burns calories.
The first is it increases skeletal muscle insulin sensitivity, in other words it makes your muscle more insulin sensitive, therefore your pancreas can make less, therefore your levels can drop, therefore there's less insulin in your blood to shunt sugar to fat. That's probably the main reason that exercise is important and I'm totally for it.
The second reason that exercise is important is because it's the single best treatment to get your cortisol down. Cortisol is your stress hormone, it's the hormone that goes up when you are mega-stressed, it's the hormone that basically causes visceral fat deposition which is the bad fat and it has been tied to the metabolic syndrome. So by getting your cortisol down you're actually reducing the amount of fat deposited and it also reduces food intake. People think that somehow exercise increases food intake, it does not, it reduces food intake.
And then the third reason that exercise is important, which is somewhat not well known, but I'm trying to evaluate this at the present time, is that it actually helps detoxify the sugar fructose. Fructose actually is a hepato-toxin; now fructose is fruit sugar but we were never designed to take in so much fructose. Our consumption of fructose has gone from less than half a pound per year in 1970 to 56 pounds per year in 2003.
Norman Swan: It's the dominant sugar in these so-called sugar free jams for example that you buy, these sort of natural fruit jams.
Robert Lustig: Right, originally it was used because since it's not regulated by insulin it was thought to be the perfect sugar for diabetics and so it got introduced as that. Then of course high fructose corn syrup came on the market after it was invented in Japan in 1966, and started finding its way into American foods in 1975. In 1980 the soft drink companies started introducing it into soft drinks and you can actually trace the prevalence of childhood obesity, and the rise, to 1980 when this change was made.
Norman Swan: What is it about this, it's got more calories than ordinary sugar weight for weight hasn't it?
Robert Lustig: No, actually it's not the calories that are different it's the fact that the only organ in your body that can take up fructose is your liver. Glucose, the standard sugar, can be taken up by every organ in the body, only 20% of glucose load ends up at your liver. So let's take 120 calories of glucose, that's two slices of white bread as an example, only 24 of those 120 calories will be metabolised by the liver, the rest of it will be metabolised by your muscles, by your brain, by your kidneys, by your heart etc. directly with no interference. Now let's take 120 calories of orange juice. Same 120 calories but now 60 of those calories are going to be fructose because fructose is half of sucrose and sucrose is what's in orange juice. So it's going to be all the fructose, that's 60 calories, plus 20% of the glucose, so that's another 12 out of 60 -- so in other words 72 out of the 120 calories will hit the liver, three times the substrate as when it was just glucose alone.
That bolus of extra substrate to your liver does some very bad things to it.
______________________
Part of the reason I read it so many times is that I had no idea what it was saying. If you look at the beginning of the except, it says that exercise is not the way to counterbalance caloric intake. That has been exactly my view all my life. I have exercised to feel better and never to lose weight.
In reading this article, I see that there is the argument that exercise -- particularly strengthening exercises -- help to regulate appetite.
Bingo! I don't want to use portion control to eat less. I want to follow habits which result in my wanting to eat less.
Another argument in the article is that eating sweets increases appetite as well. Interesting. Limiting sweets to Sundays probably helps with regulating appetite as well.
I did make two changes to my diet -- already! My husband suggested I not eat breakfast on Sundays. He has a habit of not eating breakfast on Sunday because of communion.
I'll do that, making skipping breakfast three times per week my way of fasting.
I also am looking at adding a few strengthening exercises to my strengthening routine. I plan to have a routine that I follow three times per week and that takes no more than 45 minutes. This is still under exploration. I may add three exercises to the six exercise routine I already have.
One of those three additional exercises is a push up. I tried a modified push up and accomplished exactly one (sort of) to the merriment of my family!
I tell them, "You have to start somewhere!"
I place a high value on persistence, and the kids are seeing me persist.
I also think that a saying of my father's is very key in my weight loss effort: "If something isn't working, try something else -- ANYTHING ELSE!"
So -- I am trying something else. I'm excited to see how much I weigh tomorrow. My hope is that I am below 200 and will never, ever again return to above 200 pounds.
Camping gives me such joy, such peace, such a sense of -- well, frankly -- the divine. I come back home to laundry and cleaning and, next week, getting the kids off to school and starting a jobhunt and continuing my weight loss saga, but that one week will carry me through much.
In his book on John Adams, David McCullough quoted this great man: "I find my imagination, in spite of all my exertions, roaming in the Milky Way, among the nebulae, those mighty orbs, and stupendous orbits of suns, planets, satellites, and comets, which compose the incomprehensible universe; and if I do not sink into nothing in my own estimation, I feel an irresistible impulse to fall on my knees, in adoration of the power that moves, the wisdom that directs, and the benevolence that sanctifies theis wonderful whole."
It is true that nature gives just so much joy to life but so does having a family. To see the wonder in their eyes is the greatest joy!
My motivation with weight loss comes down to paving the way so that my children don't make the same miserable mistakes I have made in being healthy. We were very active this week, climbing on rocks and hiking and even just putting up the tent and taking care of day to day cleaning the old fashioned way, with hot water and dishwashing soap.
It was also technology free -- no TV, computer, or iPod. Conversation and activity replaced islands of technology.
I need to keep this going.... And here I am on the computer!
Day 19 – Sunday, August 29, 2010: 198.8. I added the Sunday fast because it seemed like it could help, but it occurred to me this morning that it possibly could help very much. Because people used to fast to prepare for communion and did not consider Sunday a Fast Day but rather a Feast Day, I completely missed the idea that there was a fast prior to communion on Sundays. This tradition of fasting until after church continued right up until I was a girl in the mid 1960s. My husband's family is so traditional that they continued not having Sunday breakfast, whereas my family immediately started having food right up until a few minutes before we left for church, since a fast is now required only until one hour before communion. Out of respect for Tom, I have refrained from eating after about 10 when Mass started at 10:30. With The No S Diet, however, I've been up early gorging on candy and ice cream. Sometimes, I would go to church so stuffed with food that I would have essentially already met my goal of feeling satisfied for the day. I must admit that it irritated him that I would be gorging on candy and ice cream in the morning, but I figured that I was following the rules for a communion fast and this was my way to be able to not binge during the rest of the week.
Now what? Will not eating on Sunday morning impact how much I eat for the rest of the day even though I can eat as much as I want? TIme will tell. I think it may.
Day 20 – Monday, August 30, 2010: 200.4. Exception Day First day of school for Tom and Anne. I'm once again above 200 pounds, but I'm seeing progress with changes to my weight management approach. My weight today, on a Monday, is the same as on Sunday two weeks ago. If this keeps up, I should be able to lose at least one pound per month.
7 PM: I just didn't last until dinner. I wanted to eat and so I did.
Day 21 – Tuesday, August 31, 2010: First day of school for Katie and Ellie. It's the last day of August, and now I come to the very end of analysis paralysis. Except for the strengthening exercise program, I think I'm set as for the habits I'm trying to cultivate. Time will tell how much weight I lose with these habits, especially since I persist in not wanting to have any sort of "portion control" as part of my diet. Am I on a fool's mission? Possibly. Probably. Still, if I could save my children the agony of what I endured in periodically restricting food and then having it all collapse when I was older, this whole exercise in analysis has been worth it. I think it would be the single greatest gift I could give my children -- the gift of knowing how to be physically healthy without it being a daily burden. Time will tell.
As for my writing, I think I'll try to write once per week -- maybe on Fridays. This is a lifestyle change, and it must be sustainable for life. Daily writing was useful as I analyzed, but now it would interfere with my goal of maintaining a lower weight without much thought or effort.
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:42 am, edited 22 times in total.
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, I did not want to hi-jack your Thread with a long post,Kathleen wrote:Portion control means not eating to satisfaction.
It means denying the body the food it desires.
Constant portion control means a constant state of self-denial and misery,
a constant state of self-imposed starvation. That's a bad means.
Or, maybe, my perspective is the reason why I'm obese.
A portion control approach to weight management is evil and subversive.
Such harsh words. Is there truth in it? It's my perspective only...
I think the obesity epidemic was caused by portion control.
so I posted a response to your above-statements on my own Thread.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrigthAngel,
I went into this diet having already decided I'd rather weight 500 pounds rather than go back to a "portion control" approach. I've worked hard and not gotten very far. It's true that I thought just following No S for two Ss (no snacks or sweets on N Days) would do the trick, and I proved to myself beyond the shadow of a doubt that continuing with that approach would not result in weight loss, as you told me way back in November. It can do no harm for me to add exercise. Will it result in weight loss? I will put an optimistic spin on this and, instead of saying "Doubtful" will say "Time will tell."
I appreciate your thoughtful and thought-provoking posts.
Kathleen
PS. Feel free to "hijack" my thread anytime!
I went into this diet having already decided I'd rather weight 500 pounds rather than go back to a "portion control" approach. I've worked hard and not gotten very far. It's true that I thought just following No S for two Ss (no snacks or sweets on N Days) would do the trick, and I proved to myself beyond the shadow of a doubt that continuing with that approach would not result in weight loss, as you told me way back in November. It can do no harm for me to add exercise. Will it result in weight loss? I will put an optimistic spin on this and, instead of saying "Doubtful" will say "Time will tell."
I appreciate your thoughtful and thought-provoking posts.
Kathleen
PS. Feel free to "hijack" my thread anytime!
Hi Kathleen,
I saw your post on the general discussion board but I thought I'd answer you here so that it would be slightly more private. I've been reading your post since I started No Sing (that would be about January). I think you've done some great work really thinking about how to make yourself healthier. I've seen you struggle through a lot of things and I really respect you for that. I am especially impressed with your new goal to take 12,000 steps a day and your weight training. I think those are both really great goals and I really support all the effort you're putting in to making yourself healthier.
The only thing I've ever though was a mistake in your method was your refusal to attempt any kind of portion control. I know your history with it. I've read about your "novena diet" and how miserable portion control makes you. I don't want you to take this as an attack. I just really want you to succeed. I root for you everyday when I read your posts. I'm just concerned about you, and I think that it's near impossible to see significant weight loss with no portion control and a sane amount of exercise.
I'm not suggesting that you make yourself miserable. If it was me and I was having this problem I would probably go at it like this. I would start with a goal for myself that was easy to reach. For example: I can have 3 plates per meal. That's a lot of food to me. When I look at that much food I don't see deprivation (it would probably be best to sit down at the meal with all of it in front of you so you can really see how much it is). I would do that for maybe a month to give my emotions and brain time to learn I'm not being deprived in anyway, give yourself time to "unequate" a limit on the amount of food you eat with misery. Then I would slowly scale back--how about 2.5 plates? I would figure out how I feel about that. I'd let my body and brain realize that that much is not deprivation, and so on. I'd figure out where I started feeling the panic of deprivation. Then I would try to shrink my amount of food by tiny tiny increments. My goal being to get down to my body and mind realizing that one plate is not deprivation. I would try not to think of it as portion control, but more of figuring out how much my body needed to eat and how I feel about how much I'm eating. This approach is sort of based on systematic desensitization--you've probably heard of it.
Whatever you decide I'm sure you'll have the support and good wishes of the whole No S community!
Have a good weekend!
I saw your post on the general discussion board but I thought I'd answer you here so that it would be slightly more private. I've been reading your post since I started No Sing (that would be about January). I think you've done some great work really thinking about how to make yourself healthier. I've seen you struggle through a lot of things and I really respect you for that. I am especially impressed with your new goal to take 12,000 steps a day and your weight training. I think those are both really great goals and I really support all the effort you're putting in to making yourself healthier.
The only thing I've ever though was a mistake in your method was your refusal to attempt any kind of portion control. I know your history with it. I've read about your "novena diet" and how miserable portion control makes you. I don't want you to take this as an attack. I just really want you to succeed. I root for you everyday when I read your posts. I'm just concerned about you, and I think that it's near impossible to see significant weight loss with no portion control and a sane amount of exercise.
I'm not suggesting that you make yourself miserable. If it was me and I was having this problem I would probably go at it like this. I would start with a goal for myself that was easy to reach. For example: I can have 3 plates per meal. That's a lot of food to me. When I look at that much food I don't see deprivation (it would probably be best to sit down at the meal with all of it in front of you so you can really see how much it is). I would do that for maybe a month to give my emotions and brain time to learn I'm not being deprived in anyway, give yourself time to "unequate" a limit on the amount of food you eat with misery. Then I would slowly scale back--how about 2.5 plates? I would figure out how I feel about that. I'd let my body and brain realize that that much is not deprivation, and so on. I'd figure out where I started feeling the panic of deprivation. Then I would try to shrink my amount of food by tiny tiny increments. My goal being to get down to my body and mind realizing that one plate is not deprivation. I would try not to think of it as portion control, but more of figuring out how much my body needed to eat and how I feel about how much I'm eating. This approach is sort of based on systematic desensitization--you've probably heard of it.
Whatever you decide I'm sure you'll have the support and good wishes of the whole No S community!
Have a good weekend!
This version of myself is not permanent, tomorrow I will be different. --BEP
Hi ShannahR,
I appreciate your support and concern. I wrote this back in June: "Intermittent fasting is the way people used to experience hunger and know how much food is necessary. Now, people learn by "cutting back" or "portion control" and experiencing "diet backlash." Intermittent fasting is controlled and pre-planned. "Portion control" leads to out of control bingeing."
My experience with "portion control" is it worked for about 10 years, until I got pregnant with our first child. I succeeded in returning to pre-preganancy weight for the first two children and got down to 155 with the fourth. After that, even thinking about "portion control" led to binge eating.
I think I'll try this combination of steps. The misery of "portion control" is so great for me that I think I'd prefer obesity.
Kathleen
PS. If you look at my tag line below, it could be interpreted as "portion control." To me, it can also mean refraining from eating at certain times.
I appreciate your support and concern. I wrote this back in June: "Intermittent fasting is the way people used to experience hunger and know how much food is necessary. Now, people learn by "cutting back" or "portion control" and experiencing "diet backlash." Intermittent fasting is controlled and pre-planned. "Portion control" leads to out of control bingeing."
My experience with "portion control" is it worked for about 10 years, until I got pregnant with our first child. I succeeded in returning to pre-preganancy weight for the first two children and got down to 155 with the fourth. After that, even thinking about "portion control" led to binge eating.
I think I'll try this combination of steps. The misery of "portion control" is so great for me that I think I'd prefer obesity.
Kathleen
PS. If you look at my tag line below, it could be interpreted as "portion control." To me, it can also mean refraining from eating at certain times.
ShannahR,
No, you didn't. I understand what you are saying. You are saying that you can ease your way into limiting portion sizes. After all those years of restricting what I eat, I no longer am able to do that. If I even think about restricting the amount I eat, I binge.
The concept of systematic desensitization is new to me. It sound like something that has worked to an extent with me with snacking. I tune out hunger between meals, but I think my success with that has to do with knowing I can eat as much as I want at the next meal.
This is hard. As BrightAngel said to me once, we are all an experiment of one.
Kathleen
PS. This is something I wrote on July 8: "Katie got sunburned over the weekend, and she was showing me just how painful it was. Tom asked her if she learned anything, and I told her I still remember just how painful it was when I was a lifeguard for three days and didn't use any sunscreen. That might have been my last sunburn, at age 19, and I was particularly embarassed because it was my second year as a lifeguard. Hadn't I learned during my first year as a lifeguard?
I recall that sunburn now that I have yet another failed attempt at calorie counting under my belt. My reaction to calorie counting is binge eating. I've been through this countless times. When am I going to learn?"
No, you didn't. I understand what you are saying. You are saying that you can ease your way into limiting portion sizes. After all those years of restricting what I eat, I no longer am able to do that. If I even think about restricting the amount I eat, I binge.
The concept of systematic desensitization is new to me. It sound like something that has worked to an extent with me with snacking. I tune out hunger between meals, but I think my success with that has to do with knowing I can eat as much as I want at the next meal.
This is hard. As BrightAngel said to me once, we are all an experiment of one.
Kathleen
PS. This is something I wrote on July 8: "Katie got sunburned over the weekend, and she was showing me just how painful it was. Tom asked her if she learned anything, and I told her I still remember just how painful it was when I was a lifeguard for three days and didn't use any sunscreen. That might have been my last sunburn, at age 19, and I was particularly embarassed because it was my second year as a lifeguard. Hadn't I learned during my first year as a lifeguard?
I recall that sunburn now that I have yet another failed attempt at calorie counting under my belt. My reaction to calorie counting is binge eating. I've been through this countless times. When am I going to learn?"
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
Kathleen, In a way, I understand how you feel. Your reaction to portion control is how I tend to react to calorie counting. I'll do it for about a week or so, but then I start to feel miserable and like I'm being punished, and I rebel and overeat. I respect people who do calorie count and log their food intake, but I'm just not sure I could keep that up long term. That's why I keep coming back to my slightly modified version of No S.
clarinetgal,
What is scary about my situation is that I suddenly became ravenous. I remember wondering what was going on. That was back in 2002 in January, and I weighed about 155. By September of that year, I was above 180. I remember thinking the only time I had been that heavy was in pregnancy or just after being pregnant.
It's not as if I gave up. It was more like my body being hijacked. No amount of food could satisfy it.
That's why I don't think calorie counting or any sort of portion control, however mild, will work for me again. It's as if I got a sensitivity to it that cannot be changed.
I'm hoping that fasting helps with moderating amount of food that I eat when I eat to satisfaction.
Kathleen
What is scary about my situation is that I suddenly became ravenous. I remember wondering what was going on. That was back in 2002 in January, and I weighed about 155. By September of that year, I was above 180. I remember thinking the only time I had been that heavy was in pregnancy or just after being pregnant.
It's not as if I gave up. It was more like my body being hijacked. No amount of food could satisfy it.
That's why I don't think calorie counting or any sort of portion control, however mild, will work for me again. It's as if I got a sensitivity to it that cannot be changed.
I'm hoping that fasting helps with moderating amount of food that I eat when I eat to satisfaction.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen,Kathleen wrote:What is scary about my situation is that I suddenly became ravenous.
It was more like my body being hijacked.
No amount of food could satisfy it.
What you describe is a very common feeling.
Almost every Binge eater experiences it.
I've felt it Billions of times,
and expect to continue feeling it on occasion.
It you want to talk more about this,
and how you might try to work through it,
Please feel free to PM me,
so we can discuss it privately.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
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connorcream
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Sat May 03, 2008 9:57 pm
- Location: San Antonio
Kathleen-
Could certain types of food or food combinations trigger these urges? I have found this to be true for me and by journaling what I eat, I make notes of these responses, and then plan accordingly for the future. Sometimes it is a reduction of type or sometimes it just means no eating it. Why do I want to continuosly fight with myself over something like food? It just isn't worth it anymore.
Some alcoholics can still take an occasional drink and be okay but some can't even take one more sip without losing control. Trigger situations vary from person to person.
You can lose the weight. It is within your ability to do so and there are many avenues for support, information, and journaling.
Best wishes on your journey,
Could certain types of food or food combinations trigger these urges? I have found this to be true for me and by journaling what I eat, I make notes of these responses, and then plan accordingly for the future. Sometimes it is a reduction of type or sometimes it just means no eating it. Why do I want to continuosly fight with myself over something like food? It just isn't worth it anymore.
Some alcoholics can still take an occasional drink and be okay but some can't even take one more sip without losing control. Trigger situations vary from person to person.
You can lose the weight. It is within your ability to do so and there are many avenues for support, information, and journaling.
Best wishes on your journey,
connorcream
5'8.5"
48 yrs
Started calorie counting
10/6/2009
start/current
192/mid 120's maintaining
Maintaining a year
5'8.5"
48 yrs
Started calorie counting
10/6/2009
start/current
192/mid 120's maintaining
Maintaining a year
Kathleen,
I have not been posting for many months even though I have been checking in regularly. I just had to respond to your latest efforts because I so identify with your struggles. I will not try to recap my experiences, but a summary: I am now 63, about your same height and weight, and I have been a dieter since graduating high school. Your library is my library; your diet history pretty much mine. About 6 years ago I lost again down to 142 or so and kept it off with full time work of exercise and food monitoring. When I read Bright Angel's record keeping I can see myself. It worked for me as long as I could keep it my full time job. However, this was all constant vigilance and record keeping. Habits were not formed. Therefore when life threw me curves which of course is going to happen, because I had the "Perfect compliance" "all or nothing" mindset and had been in a state of deprivation, I would end up in binge mode.
I, too, decided I could not keep this up. I wanted to be normal. Intutive eating sounded so reasonable, so promising. But...I was too far gone. i needed structure. I am not normal. After gaining weight on Intuive Eating, I found NoS. It worked for me for awhile and was such a relief after all the accounting diets I had been on BUT again life would throw me a curve. The S days were way over the top and then I couldn't even keep the N days going. And it wasn't the snack or sweets on N days that would break the "perfection."
I have had to be away from home caring for elderly parents and I broke my arm falling on the ice last year, which by the way showed me how stopping physical activity can lead to weight gain. And much more...I have now gained all the way back up over 200 lbs. and am at my all time heaviest. I started NoS at a miserable 170! and lost about 10 lbs. a year and a half ago.
Here is where I think I agree with you when it comes to NoS and portion control. I gained my weight back from binging and from zero exercise, not from having another helping of soup or another cluster of grapes. I, too, am now implementing No Snacks, No Sweets every day except Sunday. I won't say I am giving myself unconditional permission to eat on Sunday; I am saying I am going to relax on Sunday. I never want to give myself permission to binge. I also am trying a little of the "wait for hunger" that was part of some other programs which could be a mini fast I suppose. This is easier for me because I have just retired from teaching and have a flexible schedule. I can eat when I want and not by the clock. And I am going to try your exception days to handle those events that just are part of life.
The reason I am not worryng over seconds or portion control is that I do not want to sabotage the whole program because I didn't put enough on my plate in the first place and then went back for more. I do have in the back of my mind the need to choose foods that are not caloric dense (Volumetrics) and I am not going to eat half a loaf of bread! However, this way I don't load my plate up in fear of future hunger. I try to eat to satiety. I have upped my exercise and I am not having sweets or snacks so surely my calories in and calories used will be affected. I really think my weight gain has come from the binge reaction to restriction as well as not enough exercise. If I cannot lose weight by exercising more, cutting out snacking and sweets 6 days a week, then the chips will just have to fall where they may. I know enough about myself and my 40+ year struggle that I will gain more if I restrict too much. I am also weighing daily again which I had thought at one time was a bad thing, but I am doing it just so I am not fooling myself.
This was supposed to be short, but I just wanted to let you know I do identify with your struggle and all the mental stuff that goes into years of this way of living. I think your plan gets the structure in place for the habit forming that is the key to success without making eating a full time job! Eliminating the no seconds makes it easier to be compliant which should ultimately lead to weight loss. Maybe you and I will never get to the perfect goal weight without measuring our food but we will get pretty darn close and we should keep the binge monster at bay!
I have not been posting for many months even though I have been checking in regularly. I just had to respond to your latest efforts because I so identify with your struggles. I will not try to recap my experiences, but a summary: I am now 63, about your same height and weight, and I have been a dieter since graduating high school. Your library is my library; your diet history pretty much mine. About 6 years ago I lost again down to 142 or so and kept it off with full time work of exercise and food monitoring. When I read Bright Angel's record keeping I can see myself. It worked for me as long as I could keep it my full time job. However, this was all constant vigilance and record keeping. Habits were not formed. Therefore when life threw me curves which of course is going to happen, because I had the "Perfect compliance" "all or nothing" mindset and had been in a state of deprivation, I would end up in binge mode.
I, too, decided I could not keep this up. I wanted to be normal. Intutive eating sounded so reasonable, so promising. But...I was too far gone. i needed structure. I am not normal. After gaining weight on Intuive Eating, I found NoS. It worked for me for awhile and was such a relief after all the accounting diets I had been on BUT again life would throw me a curve. The S days were way over the top and then I couldn't even keep the N days going. And it wasn't the snack or sweets on N days that would break the "perfection."
I have had to be away from home caring for elderly parents and I broke my arm falling on the ice last year, which by the way showed me how stopping physical activity can lead to weight gain. And much more...I have now gained all the way back up over 200 lbs. and am at my all time heaviest. I started NoS at a miserable 170! and lost about 10 lbs. a year and a half ago.
Here is where I think I agree with you when it comes to NoS and portion control. I gained my weight back from binging and from zero exercise, not from having another helping of soup or another cluster of grapes. I, too, am now implementing No Snacks, No Sweets every day except Sunday. I won't say I am giving myself unconditional permission to eat on Sunday; I am saying I am going to relax on Sunday. I never want to give myself permission to binge. I also am trying a little of the "wait for hunger" that was part of some other programs which could be a mini fast I suppose. This is easier for me because I have just retired from teaching and have a flexible schedule. I can eat when I want and not by the clock. And I am going to try your exception days to handle those events that just are part of life.
The reason I am not worryng over seconds or portion control is that I do not want to sabotage the whole program because I didn't put enough on my plate in the first place and then went back for more. I do have in the back of my mind the need to choose foods that are not caloric dense (Volumetrics) and I am not going to eat half a loaf of bread! However, this way I don't load my plate up in fear of future hunger. I try to eat to satiety. I have upped my exercise and I am not having sweets or snacks so surely my calories in and calories used will be affected. I really think my weight gain has come from the binge reaction to restriction as well as not enough exercise. If I cannot lose weight by exercising more, cutting out snacking and sweets 6 days a week, then the chips will just have to fall where they may. I know enough about myself and my 40+ year struggle that I will gain more if I restrict too much. I am also weighing daily again which I had thought at one time was a bad thing, but I am doing it just so I am not fooling myself.
This was supposed to be short, but I just wanted to let you know I do identify with your struggle and all the mental stuff that goes into years of this way of living. I think your plan gets the structure in place for the habit forming that is the key to success without making eating a full time job! Eliminating the no seconds makes it easier to be compliant which should ultimately lead to weight loss. Maybe you and I will never get to the perfect goal weight without measuring our food but we will get pretty darn close and we should keep the binge monster at bay!
connercream,
I think that bingeing can be triggered by sweets. Limiting sweets to Sundays seems to help me. I think that some foods are much more filling and satisfying than others, which is why I decided to have oatmeal in the morning. It sets me up for a much better day overall. Starting today, I'm also trying fasting on Sundays before church. This will limit the damage of a Feast because I have less time and I go into the Feast with a diminished appetite from several hours of not eating anything.
Will it work? I don't know, frankly. The memories of calorie counting from years ago are so vivid that I want to keep trying a way to lose weight without portion control. I'm down 17 pounds from my all time high of 216 on 9/4/08, and I have no sense of deprivation. All 17 pounds were lost prior to June of last year, so it's time for changes, which is what I'm trying!
Kathleen
______________
TexArk,
Your story made me teary-eyed. Once you go down the path of any sort of portion control, I think you are on the edge of a cliff. With me, a no portion control approach led to months and months of bingeing, but that is not the case so much anymore. For example, I am trying to have oatmeal in the morning. One morning, I decided it wasn't enough, so I had cereal as well. I dd not repeat that. It was only necessary one day.
The forward feeding you describe (eating before you are hungry) is what I came to believe for me was my attempt to eat as much as I could while I was allowed.
What will the future hold? Well, I hope that there is less of a fixation on food in the future for me. I'll also be healthier because of the emphasis on exercise.
Kathleen
I think that bingeing can be triggered by sweets. Limiting sweets to Sundays seems to help me. I think that some foods are much more filling and satisfying than others, which is why I decided to have oatmeal in the morning. It sets me up for a much better day overall. Starting today, I'm also trying fasting on Sundays before church. This will limit the damage of a Feast because I have less time and I go into the Feast with a diminished appetite from several hours of not eating anything.
Will it work? I don't know, frankly. The memories of calorie counting from years ago are so vivid that I want to keep trying a way to lose weight without portion control. I'm down 17 pounds from my all time high of 216 on 9/4/08, and I have no sense of deprivation. All 17 pounds were lost prior to June of last year, so it's time for changes, which is what I'm trying!
Kathleen
______________
TexArk,
Your story made me teary-eyed. Once you go down the path of any sort of portion control, I think you are on the edge of a cliff. With me, a no portion control approach led to months and months of bingeing, but that is not the case so much anymore. For example, I am trying to have oatmeal in the morning. One morning, I decided it wasn't enough, so I had cereal as well. I dd not repeat that. It was only necessary one day.
The forward feeding you describe (eating before you are hungry) is what I came to believe for me was my attempt to eat as much as I could while I was allowed.
What will the future hold? Well, I hope that there is less of a fixation on food in the future for me. I'll also be healthier because of the emphasis on exercise.
Kathleen
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
Kathleen, I was just reading back in your thread a little bit, and I read what you posted on strength training. That is one of the best things you can do for your body! Once you hit 35 (I just turned 35 this year), you start to lose .5 pound of muscle each year, which means your metabolism slows down that much more. So you actually need MORE strength training as you get older. Plus, strength training helps increase bone density, when you do weight bearing exercises such as squats or lunges. Also, it can improve your balance and protect you from falling when you get older. So you are definitely on the right track with strength training. You should eventually start working on training your core, also, such as with pilates. A strong core (which includes your abdominal muscles and back), is vitally important in helping you out with your every day movements. I personally love pilates, because it's given me huge gains in my music (I've seen a lot of imporovement with my breath control), and I love that I have to stay so focused on correctly executing the moves.
I also loved what you said about how camping gives you such joy and helps you feel closer to the divine. That's how I feel about the ocean (and to a lesser extent bays, rivers, and lakes).
I also loved what you said about how camping gives you such joy and helps you feel closer to the divine. That's how I feel about the ocean (and to a lesser extent bays, rivers, and lakes).
clarinetgal,
Yes, I've read all that before, but it didn't really sink in. What sank in was that my sister-in-law, who was born in 1951 and is six years older than I, is in great shape. I had plenty of time to observe that fact at the family reunion last month. My mother told me yesterday that my sister in law was going on a 50 mile bike ride with her future daughter in law. Here I am, 51 and really out of shape. I would walk 3 miles in 45 minutes three times per week at the gym, only there would be gaps of months when my exercise routine fell off my priority list. Now I'm focused on what I can do at home. Strengthening exercises really benefit me: I just plain feel better.
I did have these same exercises from Strong Women Stay Slim when I went to a personal trainer back in 2002 or so, and he modified them so that I would exercise my core. I use one weight at a time and stand on only one leg. That seems to work well for me.
Thanks for the encouragement! I think that strength training may well be a critical success factor in weight loss, and it's a component I've been missing!
Kathleen
Yes, I've read all that before, but it didn't really sink in. What sank in was that my sister-in-law, who was born in 1951 and is six years older than I, is in great shape. I had plenty of time to observe that fact at the family reunion last month. My mother told me yesterday that my sister in law was going on a 50 mile bike ride with her future daughter in law. Here I am, 51 and really out of shape. I would walk 3 miles in 45 minutes three times per week at the gym, only there would be gaps of months when my exercise routine fell off my priority list. Now I'm focused on what I can do at home. Strengthening exercises really benefit me: I just plain feel better.
I did have these same exercises from Strong Women Stay Slim when I went to a personal trainer back in 2002 or so, and he modified them so that I would exercise my core. I use one weight at a time and stand on only one leg. That seems to work well for me.
Thanks for the encouragement! I think that strength training may well be a critical success factor in weight loss, and it's a component I've been missing!
Kathleen
September, 2010: Cultivating Habits that Promote Health
August 11, 2010, revised September 6, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For almost two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that promote health.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (eg. Weight Watchers) or types of food (eg. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Here are the two habits I am currently cultivating:
1. Eliminate sweets on all days except Sundays and a rolling average of two self-designated Exception Days per month: This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The elimination of sweets on all but an average of six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate on any one day.
2. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises from these two books as I improve. Right now, I can manage one push up (a cause for merriment when my children observe me!), so I have a long way to go in building muscle strength! I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book. Somehow, weight training fell off my priority list, and I regret it!
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
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The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
Habits that Promote Health:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2 (also Day 703 of The No S Diet) (goal of 192 pounds: behind schedule by 10.2 pounds)
(Month 2) Day 22 – Wednesday, September 1, 2010: 197.6 (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 6.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 1 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 3.
Thoughts and weights for this month:
Day 22 – Wednesday, September 1, 2010: 197.6 I caught a cold from my daughter and was sick to my stomach yesterday, so -- of course -- my weight is lower today. Still, as I lay in bed yesterday, I was reminded of the day back in 2002 when I was suddenly ravenous. I had reached some sort of "tipping point" with dieting and could no longer restrict food. Yesterday seemed like it could be a "tipping point" as well. All those weekends of gorging have turned my stomach so that I'm somewhat averse to gorging: I no longer want to eat everything in sight.
One often-repeated piece of advice for dieting is to never, ever skip breakfast. Here I am deliberately skpping breakfast three mornings per week. It feels relaxing. In fact, the diet itself seems very calming. I eat according to rules which are sufficiently flexible that I only experience mild hunger on mornings when I fast, and -- other than that -- I feel no hunger at all. The mild hunger actually feels pleasant. It also is important, I think, so that I know what it is like to have less in my stomach so that I don't eat so much at regular mealtimes. What is amazing about this is that I used to feel panicky if I wasn't stuffed to the point that I could not eat any more. The transition has taken two years and required the addition of several new habits (fasting, exercising, and eating oatmeal on some mornings), and that's a long time to be close to 200 pounds. Still, it will have been worth it to go through everything if this is a permanent change. Time will tell. I have to be patient with myself and with this diet.
Day 23 – Thursday, September 2, 2010: 198.2. I feel better but still just had a plum, bread, and Nyquil for dinner and missed out on a get-together for parents of Scouts. I'm canceling coffee with a friend today. Because I feel so bad, I'm not eating that much, which is why my weight is down this much. Still, I also think that I'm adjusting to a lower food intake. It occurred to me that considering the issue of portion control and deciding that I'm never ever returning to it again has calmed me down about dieting. I think portion control might be a cause of the obesity epidemic. Back in the non-scientific days before calories could be counted, people relied on fasting as a way to control the appetite. Periodic fasting could be just a part of life, a habit. Can portion control be a habit? I think not. I think portion control necessarily involves willpower, which is why people are miserable practicing portion control even if they practice it for years and years. It's also why, when willpower is exhausted, the tendency is to gorge. There's a line in Intuitive Eating like: "Rice cakes one week, Haagen Dazs the next." The body doesn't want normal food after restrictive eating. The body wants everything in sight! During the first week that I practiced Intuitive Eating's "unconditional permission to eat", I had approximately 20 bags of peanut clusters. The kids even nicknamed the diet The Peanut Cluster Diet. I'm a long way from that now because I haven't practiced restrictive eating for a full two years. Do I ever want to return to that madness? No. A thousand times no. I'd rather be obese, but I have hope that I can actually return to a normal weight. We'll see. We'll see. I have to be patient. I'm no longer a restrictive eater. I don't have any sort of internal or external indicator for when to stop eating, and my external indicator for when to start is the clock. It's not whether or not my stomach growls or whether or not I have a set number of calories left or anything. This whole diet is just more relaxed and calmer. Now -- will I actually lose weight following it? That's the question!
I'm only off seven pounds in my goal of losing one pound per month. Given all the detours I've taken, that's not too bad. I'm up to using a 5 lb weight for my strengthening exercises. Last month, I just used 3 pound weights. My goal is to get to 15 pound weights. That will be enough!
2 PM: Exception Day. This was no mistake. I am in a calorie deficit from having been sick. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm hungry. I had cheese, bread, and a plum. There's nothing sweet in the house, and I don't much feel like running out to get something. I just was hungry enough to take an Exception Day.
6:30 PM: After swim team, I stopped at the store with the kids to get milk. It was an Exception Day, so I had the grocery store taste tests. Did I want to get ice cream or candy? No. I didn't. That was quite a change for me. I took an Exception Day because my eating had been messed up by being ill. I can eat whatever I want, and what do I want? A plum.
Day 24 – Friday, September 3, 2010: 199.4 I'm still stick, but my appetite is coming back as evidenced by the weight gain. I'm thinking of just having a fast from breakfast on Sundays because today I want breakfast. Last night, I did have some dinner, but mostly I wanted bread, fruit, and ginger ale. It's nice that I can respect what my body wants. This diet approach is just so calming. I always felt like I was in a panic -- on the edge of disaster -- when I was following calorie counting diets.
10 PM: I took another Exception Day because I wanted to have cereal and plums. My husband thinks I have the flu. I feel debilitated. I cannot seem to do much and went to bed tonight at 6. I hope I get over it soon.
Day 25 – Saturday, September 4, 2010: 198.0. I haven't gotten to 12,000 steps all week because of feeling sick, but I was still above an average of 12,000 steps as of yesterday. That's the beauty of making my goal a rolling average.
5 PM: Another Exception Day, so now I'm out of Exception Days. I realize what is wrong, other than that I am sick. I made two significant changes to the diet at once -- the addition of fasting and the addition of strengthening exercises. That was a mistake.
I am now backtracking. I am eliminating fasting. Tomorrow after church I am meeting for coffee the husband of the person who runs the church nursery, where I have been a volunteer for 10 years. I want to be in tip top shape when meeting him because he works at one of my target employers. Do I want to fast tomorrow morning? No. I was rash to go into this diet with two big changes. That's what impatience brings me.
I'm cutting my diet down to five habits -- with the elimination of oatmeal for breakfast (although I do still like it and will have it quite often) and fasting. My additions to my prior diet are just the exercise of 12,000 steps per day six days per week and the strengthening exercises three times per week.
This seems better. The reason why I wanted to have a very easy goal of losing one pound per month was so that I could experiment along the way.
7 PM: Tom lectured me tonight about my diet and how I was experimenting with the kids, as he pointed out that our 9 year old helped herself to two servings of birthday cake. OK, I agreed. He said that moderate eating is the key, not this binge eating on Sundays. I feel bad. My weight was 1 1/2 pounds less than it was today (196.6) more than one year ago, and here I am at 198, an unacceptable weight.
I think I need to be patient. I think I need to stick with this plan and see what comes of it over the next several months. Maybe I just shouldn't journal or weigh myself except once per month. Time will tell. Time will convince me. It took an entire year for me to be convinced that I wasn't losing any more weight following my modified No S Diet. Now I have selected two very moderate programs of walking and strength training to add to my eating program. If the article my sister sent me proves to be true in my case, then strength training will have an effect on my appetite. I won't know unless I try.
Sometimes it's hard to know what to do. I think I have an approach that could result in a lower weight -- not dramatically lower, but lower. I think I'll give this plan until next summer and just put it on auto-pilot until then. Monthly updates are sufficient until then. Monthly weigh-ins are sufficient until then.
There's a book on time management called Eat that Frog in which one highly recommended approach is to "practice creative procrastination". That means procrastinating on lower-value tasks. At this point, I am not going to know if this approach will help except by giving it time. Writing about it does not make the effectiveness of it more evident. Writing about it just makes me more impatient.
I need patience. I need time. I need to focus on getting a job and making sure the kids do well in school and being a cheerful wife to a husband who has a difficult job. The diet needs time and nothing more.
Day 26 – Sunday, September 5, 2010: 198.4. Maybe I can write just once per week. I didn't have dinner but got up at 4 and had cereal and an apple. I went back to bed and weighed myself at 8. I still feel lousy. We are going to the State Fair today or tomorrow, and it's questionable whether I should go at all. My number of steps per day did not get to 12,000 all week, and yesterday's was only 6,116. Yesterday, I didn't even finish the strengthening exercises. That's OK. I must have a program that is flexible enough to accomodate illness. I get sick sometimes. That's the way it is.
1 PM: I was chit-chatting with an elderly neighbor who asked me if I had lost weight, and I told her that I had. She then told me that she combines exercise with a "portion control" approach -- have two tablespoons of cake rather than a whole piece of cake, for example. I found this to be quite interesting for two reasons: 1. She is a very calm person who is interested in others, and 2. She's done this for years. I guess that portion control can work. She also is very conscientious about walking a lot, and she said that exercise is crucial for her to keep her weight down. I don't know how old she is, but she has a 92 year old sister.
Day 27 – Monday, September 6, 2010: 199.8. I like to write, so I continue. Yesterday, we went to the State Fair, and this morning I woke up feeling not exactly great. Tom noted that my stomach was making a lot of noise. Yes, I told him, three pieces of cakes, a number of cookies, French fries, and a pronto pup were too much. I can no longer tolerate that much junk. I do think the strengthening exercises are playing an important part in all of this, but I don't understand what part they are playing. Dr. Nelson explained that people who do stengthening exercises tend to be more physically active. I do notice better balance, but I haven't noticed more physical activity, perhaps because I've been sick.
In my research on dieting and fasting, I read some of St. Thomas Aquinas' explanations of gluttony. This man was one of the greatest thinkers of the Catholic Church (one of 33 or so known as "Dcotors of the Church"). He was also obese. Did he suffer from the sin of gluttony? His view was that a glutton has an attachment to food. I liken that view to the whole view that you should eat only when hungry: perception becomes what is important, not reality. Still, I have wondered why Aquinas was obese. Now I am speculating that he was a thinker and a writer. He was not out engaging in physical activity. Could it be that he needed strengthening exercises?
I'm sure there is an emotional component to the whole problem of obesity, but I just plain don't think it's the cause of the obesity problem. Instead, I tend to believe it is an effect. How can you feel great if you are sluggish because you are carrying around extra weight? It may be that lack of physical exercise, and especially strengthening exercises that were an essential part of living as recently as 50 years ao, is the cause of the obesity epidemic.
I can only test my theory on myself. I clearly stagnated at about 200 pounds following the first three of my habits. Now I have added two more -- 12,000 steps per day for six days per week and three sessions of strengthening exercises per week.
What will be the impact? Time will tell.
5:30 PM: I thought about all the Exception Days I took in the last week and realized that I have developed enough of a sense of what I need that I am now dispensing with the restriction on snacking. I will still eliminate sweets because I think that the elimination of sweets on all but six days per month helps me to regulate my appetite.
Or -- I'm fooling myself.
Day 28 – Tuesday, September 7, 2010: 199.4. I awoke at 2:30 AM thinking about my diet and ended up on the couch because I was afraid I'd wake up Tom. I realized that strengthening exercises drive aerobic exercise: all I need to do is the strengthening exercises and aerobic will follow naturally. Now I'm cutting down to only two habits to cultivate. It turns out that, for me, the critical benefit of The No S Diet was the "no sweets" restriction. I'll still give the dog her daily walks, and I still love oatmeal. The drivers behind my health, however, are the strengthening exercises and the "no sweets" restrictions. The desire for walks and for oatmeal are what follow from those. This is a lot simpler approach than the seven habits that I outlined last month. There's an old 80/20 rule in time management: 20% of tasks accomplish 80% of work. I'm apply that rule to dieting.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 8, 2010: 201.0 It is exactly two years since I started on The No S Diet, and I'm down 14 pounds. I've learned a lot. I've switched from trying to use willpower to control weight, and now I'm trying to cultivate habits. The problem is that I have had difficulty settling on which habits to cultivate. Over the past few days, it has become clear to me that "no snacks" is a very, very important habit to cultivate, since I quickly switched back to popping food into my mouth throughout the day. I can, however, set aside the pedometer walking, since I am walking around anyway. The key for exercise and improved energy, I think, may well be strengthening exercises.
I'm restarting the count just for the sake of having a restart on the two year anniversary of this diet and because I am hoping this tweak in what habits I'm following will be the last for at least a few months. I'll establish these and then consider how I'm doing with weight loss.
8:30 AM: Since the only change I have now made is to add strengthening exercises, I decided to move up from using a 5 lb. weight to using an 8 lb. weight.
Day 2 – Thursday, September 9, 2010: 200.4. I think my experiment is set. I made the mistake of selecting more than one variable to test. When I started The No S Diet two years ago, I made one change about a week after I started: having two Exception Days per month rather than an undefined number of Special Days. More than a year ago, I made one other change that stuck: Sundays rather than all weekends as reliable days of "unconditional permission to eat." The addition of strength training last month is a habit that will also stick. Since I've been at about 200 pounds for more than one year, never going below 195 except when I had a broken scale, I think that my weight going forward until Christmas or so will be a good test of the effect of strength training on weight. This whole diet isn't just about my losing weight. It's about finding a way for my kids to be of healthy weight when they are adults. They have two parents who are overweight, and three of them are now overweight. A program including "portion control" is one that I want them to avoid. I managed to be thin using "portion control" until I got pregnant with our first child when I was 34 years old. Sadly, my weight gains during pregnancy may have made it more likely that my children would have weight problems as adults. I cannot go back in time. I can only do my best today. And, right now, my older two need to get up to get ready for school, and there is a gorgeous sunrise outside the window -- purples and yellows and reds above the trees.
Day 3 – Friday, September 10, 2010: 200.8 It's hard to give time to a diet when you don't know whether or not it will work. Still, I remember too well the feeling of constant deprivation when I tried "portion control." With this diet, I am never hungry. I don't think that's good, either. Eventually, I think I will add some sort of fasting routine. At this point, however, it's enough to work on strengthening exercises and to isolate the impact of strengthening exercise on weight. Last year, I went from two days of "unconditional permission to eat" per weekend (Saturday and Sunday) down to one: Sunday. There was no impact on weight. I hope that there is at least a 10 pound impact on weight for the strengthening exercises.
In this morning's Star Tribune, I read that there is a grant to prevent childhood obesity which has been given to HealthPartners and the U of M. The new director of the center, Simone French, said: "No succcessful long-term weight loss interventions for adults have been identified." It's nice to hear an expert admit what is obvious: our healthcare providers dont' know what to do with an obese adult.
8:30 AM: Last night, I had the sandwich my daughter didn't eat for lunch plus a dinner that was a treat for the kids: crispy chicken plus rice plus beans. As I started to eat, I thought to myself, "That's an awful lot of food." It was an awful lot of food. I eat an awful lot of food, whch is why I am obese. I never notice. Is it possible that strength training is affecting appetite?
8 PM: Fasting. I think I need fasting in order to get me to realize that I don't need to eat as much as I am. How? I don't know.
10 PM: I'm never hungry doing this, and I need some way to change my appetite. Today I toyed with "portion control" and ended up with an Exception Day. It's fasting. I know it is. Fasting is like the severe retriciton of carbohydrates with Atkins in that the appetite is not stirred. It has an effect, I am speculating, in reducing appetite going forward. There is wisdom, I believe, in religious traditions, and I just saw online that medieval Catholic fasting practice was to refrain from food or water until midafternoon on Wednesdays and Friday. Greek Orthodox refrained from food until 3 PM on their Wednesday and Friday fast days. Isn't it interesting that ketosis starts to kick in at about that time after a fast from dinner?
I also think that there was a fast until communion on Sundays, making a morning fast what was done on three mornings per week. How interesting that we are strongly encouraged to eat breakfast every morning, and we are in an obesity epidemic.
I don't think I can make fasting a hard and fast rule. There will be exceptions, and I'm not tracking them. I will try to fast from food on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. This Sunday, I'm meeting with someone for coffee after church and may or may not eat in the morning. That's OK. What I need is frequent fasting to give me an appreciation of how little food I actually need. I don't need to fast three mornings per week in order to do that.
Day 4 – Saturday, September 11, 2010: 201.6. All I did yesterday was try to have a small lunch, and the result was a large binge. I cannot help but think that at least some of those people who are morbidly obese have developed an aversive reaction to the idea of "portion control" and simply cannot handle it. I cannot handle "portion control". Why did I try to have a small lunch? Well, on Thursday night, I realized that I was having a large dinner and this diet was not going to lead to weight loss. Then I decided maybe I can try to restrict how much I eat by being sure to taste every bite. I finished my lunch and then had two pieces of buttered bread. Then I didn't eat much all afternoon and decided that this was "virtual plating", which most definitely it was not. Once I'd lied to myself, it was easier to virtual plate dinner, which is something I don't believe in doing anyway. It was an easy step from there to a free for all.
I am convinced that fasting is necessary for me, that it is the only effective alternate to portion control. In fact, it's probably the only essential aspect of a diet that would help me lose weight. The benefit of restricting snacks and sweets for me is sanity: I don't think about food all the time. Strength training obviously is a benefit to my health and could help with reducing appetite. But it is fasting that will help me to overcome an almost panicked sense that I am starving if I am not eating to the maximum I want. With fasting, I can eat to the maximum I want every time. I just delay when I eat so that I am able to experience hunger and not be panicked by it. I have control over when to start eating but not over when to stop eating.
I find it very interesting that both Catholic and Greek Orthodox traditions include fasting to midafternoon two days per week. I don't want to fast to midafternoon, at least initially, because then my lunch would be disrupted, but I can fast until lunch. I'll start there.
What a horrible, horrible experience it is to try to lose weight and to fail time and again, with the consistent advice from the experts being that "portion control" is what is essential to dieting. I must figure this out.
For whatever reason, and I believe the reason is my years of dieting and succeeding with "portion control", I can no longer follow that conventional wisdom.
7 AM: I just dropped off Tom to caddy, and now I reflect on these experineces. It's hit and miss. Even Tom caddying this summer has been hit or miss. he's had to learn. No one has told him how to get loops, and he's made plenty of mistakes. Still, he's learned, and he likes it enough that he will caddy next summer rather than be a counselor in training at the Boy Scout camp, which has been his goal for years.
For me, the goal has been to lose weight, and it's taken me time to see that I cannot use portion control as the means. The pedometer walking was fun and motivating, but ultimately I don't think it did much. With strength training, I seem to be compelled almost to increase my activity level, as if the development of muscles through resistance training leads to a need to burn off the energy that was created. I still took Pepper for two walks yesterday even without tracking number of steps because I'm no longer using the pedometer. In fact, she's looking at me now wondering when I'll get off that computer...
With fasting, there's a sense that I'm in control and not the food. When meals have been delayed, it hasn't sent me into a panic. I know I can tolerate mild hunger. I'm still not clear on what to do about fasting, but I can work on that. The other two habits are nailed down: no snacks or sweets except on days of "unconditional permission to eat" and strengthening exercises three times per week. Gradually, gradually, by trial and error, I'll figure this out. Meanwhile -- explitive -- I'm above 200 pounds again. And today is a Saturday. If it wasn't so important how I lose weight and so clear to me that how I lose weight has a lot to do with whether or not I keep it off, I'd be furious at myself for all the time I've wasted trying to figure out how to lose weight.
8:30 AM: My 11 year old just said to me, "I can tell you've lost weight. You actually have curves now." I told her it wasn't weight loss: it was the strengthening exercises. It was very nice to hear this from my very honest little girl.
7:30 PM: Pepper only got one walk today. I'm realizing that I need to add back in the walking. I think I'll monitor steps per day on a monthly basis rather than on an ongoing basis. The number of steps was getting to be too high.
8 PM: It was another Exception Day due to my thinking maybe I don't need to worry about snacking. Enough! I'm driving myself crazy trying to create the perfect diet. This is the diet I'm following. Weighing myself and analyzing just will get me into trouble going forward. What I need is to do. I'll weigh myself next month. I'll write next month. The less I think about this going forward, the better.
Day 33 – Sunday, September 12, 2010: I was upset with myself last night for my decision to allow snacking. Here I am over 200 pounds and trying to find a way to minimize effort involved in losing weight. I decided today that I can continue to write, but I need to cut back on weighing myself. Weigh-ins have the tendency to get me to reconsider my approach. What I am doing other than the fasting and the no snacking is universally approved. Walking and strength exercises will improve my health even if I don't lose an ounce. The fasting (a loose definition, to be sure, since it just involves not eating breakfast three mornings per week) and the no snacking rule are ones which buck conventional wisdom, but I see them as a substitute for a portion control approach which tends to make people miserable and obsessed with food. I've given up on the idea of "perfect compliance" because I don't want to be worried about situations in which I don't skip breakfast for social reasons or I have trouble with steps because I'm sick. Even habits can have some flexibility. I'm not very flexible in not brushing my teeth, but I am flexible when it comes to some other habits that are well-established, like keeping up with the laundry room. When we got back from camping, the dryer had broken, and it was 10 days before we got a new one. I did not keep up on laundry then. I will try to be strict with Excpeiotn Days that are used for snacking or sweets, but other parts of this diet don't have to be so strict.
The strengthening exercises are making a big difference for me in a way that walking -- which takes much longer -- has not. Still, it's good to get out and walk, and I didn't yesterday. The pedometer does motivate me.
Day 34 – Monday, September 13, 2010: I did fine yesterday waiting until noon to eat. I had several bowls of ice cream yesterday afternoon and not much at all for dinner. The whole "unconditional permission to eat" approach is getting a little stale for me. If I overeat, I don't feel well. Lat night, I missed dinner with my family because I wasn't feeling well. I also ate some pretzels that were intended for school lunches, and my daughter got upset with me becasue the agreement was they were only for school lunches. The Sunday free day has created an entitlement mentality for me that I have to watch. I don't want my diet to disrupt family life.
I'm hoping that this is the end of the tweaking so I can settle down. What I have included in my diet -- skipping three breakfasts per week and avoiding snacks -- is counter the conventional wisdom. I think it will work, but I look to the day when I'm asked about it and dread the prospect of being viewed as a kook. I'm in no danger of being asked today, since I'm still obese, so maybe I have better things to occupy my mind -- like getting a job interview! It's not even light out. It's another 30 minutes before I get the older two up. I can set aside thoughts of dieitng and just live my life.
8 PM: Is this a joke or what? I'm changing the diet again. I've made it too complicated. I go back to the article my sister sent me on how appetite is affected by strengthening exercises and sweets, and I think of the idea of fasting as a replacement for portion control. I've larded this diet with extraneous things. I think that fasting until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays is probably more important than sticking with mealtime. I'm also tossing the idea of "perfect compliance" in favor of "one day at a time". I'll do my best today and not worry about anything else.
Day 35 – Tuesday, September 14, 2010: 202.0. Ugh. I hate being this fat, but here I am eliminating rather than expanding rules for eating. I'm eliminating the no snack rule. In the past week, I haven't seemed able to stick with it. I thought it was a firmly entrenched habit, and then I just couldn't do it anymore. Why? I don't know why. It's a diet collapse. My thoughts now are to find ways to decrease my appetite. I have now become aware of three ways in which appetite can be reduced: with strengthening exercises, with the limitation of sweets, and with fasting. I'm trying all three. My hope is that the weight gain from the past week is due to the backlash from giving up a rule. I'm hoping I don't continue to gain weight. Yesterday, I did wear a pedometer and get to almost 10,000 steps, but I just don't think that is the way for me to go. I think strength training is much more effective. I am going now to look for foods that can help with appetite, and I bet there are some.
6 AM: I realized that I already have identified a filling food that I like: oatmeal. I'll keep up that habit of having oatmeal in the morning. When the dust settles and I've been following this approach for a few weeks, maybe I'll see some progress.
8:30 PM: I am so stuffed that I had to lie down a lot after dinner. Tomorrow is my first day of fasting until 3 PM, and I'm nervous about it. I think that fasting makes it so that overeating is painful. It will be interesting to see how I eat on Thursday, which is between the Wednesday fast and the Friday fast.
Day 36 – Wednesday, September 15, 2010: 203.0. I'm surprised I'm only up one pound given what I ate yesterday. Today I will fast until 3 PM. In medieval times, people had no food or water until 3 PM. I'm having no calories, so I'll have black coffee and water but no food. I think there may be some great wisdom in the practice of fasting. It teaches detachment, according to what I have read. For me, I think it will teach me to be calm, knowing I can handle several hours without food. In this culture, words such as "ravenous" or "famished" are used to describe the state of a person who has missed an afternoon snack.
8 AM: I changed the diet again. I'm just going to avoid sweets on days other than Sundays. I don't have to track Exception Days. Today I need to get out of the unemployed time-wasting mentality, write up a to-do list and get going. I have a shot at a job that sounds really good, and I should hear today on whether or not I will be interviewed. Meanwhile, I am bringing a meal (and Toll House cookies) to a family which has a father who is undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Such a sad situation... The two children in the family in 11th grade (same grade as my oldest) and 6th (same grade as my middle daughter). I cannot imagine the agony of going through this....
9:30 AM: Once again, I am experiencing just how easy it is to fast. I'm making Toll House cookies, and it doesn't bother me at all. There is some sort of a switch that I can turn off if I am fasting. I also feel in control. It's hard to describe, but it's as if I was told that I would be in excrutiating pain if I went more than a few hours without food, and I go through it and find out there is no pain at all. I think the obesity epidemic is cultural. I think it comes from assumptions made about humans that is scientifically true (ie. that calories count) but don't take into consideration human nature (ie. counting calories eventually backfires). Then again, that's my experience. I lasted longer than 10 years counting calories and can't last 10 minutes now restricting food. With fasting, you don't restrict anything. You don't eat. It's more of a delay than a denial. When it comes to 3 PM, I can eat whatever I want. I can have Toll House cookies if I want.
2 PM: I decided to eat at about 12:30 PM. Maybe over time I can extend the fast to 3 PM, but I'm starting with this. To my surprise, I wasn't very hungry and I ate too much so now I don't feel well again. I have hte image in my mind of a pendulum. I think that it may be that you cannot swing too far from one side to the other. In other words, fasting reduces the amount you can overeat when you aren't fasting. I don't know: it's a theory.
I heard on the radio today about how children in the U.S. are starving. No they aren't. I'm sorry. Children in the U.S. don't go without food. They don't go without shoes. Oftentimes, they don't go without cell phones, cable TV, Internet access, etc... I'd like our older two to take lunch to school rather than pay $3/day, but everyone has school lunch. There are lots of kids, including the two with whom they rideshare to the bus stop, who pay $.40/day for school lunch. I think that there may be little or no appreciation of what it means to be hungry, so how is a person to appreciate fullness? That's why fasting may be important. It's my latest theory.
2:30 PM: I had one of those Toll House cookies, and it turned my stomach. I think that fasting may affect receptivity to sweets. As a result, I'm changing my diet to just two habits: strengthening exercises and fasting.
3 PM: I now have a diet in which I have "unconditional permission to eat" all the time except during times of fasting when I eat nothing. It's a sea change in outlook for me to have this change. I pulled out of my bookshelf a classic on spirituality called Introduction to the Devout Life, and in there I found a caution against excessive fasting. I think I understand why. It can feel good to fast. It can feel so good you want to do it more and more.
7:30 PM: I had some Toll House cookies. Somehow they didn't taste all that great. I think fasting may affect enjoyment of sweets. I don't know, though. I also had strength training exercises today. Something is going on, and I don't know what. I think I'm on the right path, though. I just need to be careful to increase fasting gradually. I'll start with fasting until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. It feels nice. It's strange, but it is almost calming. It also saves time -- no cooking or cleaning up afterwards.
Day 37 – Thursday, September 16, 2010: 202.2. Yesterday, I believe, was a day of transition. The No S Diet requires some effort for most of the week. With this diet of periodic fasting, the only effort is to fast for several hours three times per week. The fasting seems to have an impact on eating at other times. I can have "unconditional permission to eat" for most of the time!
Yesterday, my 16 year old had a personal training session at the gym. Afterwards, the trainer said to make sure to eat right away when we get home. There it is: the pervasive concern that it is essential to eat right away in order to stay healthy. I was polite, of course, and told the trainer that we have dinner is in a crock pot ready for us to eat as soon as we get home. Still, I think there is a cultural assumption that it is critically important to time eating, and that sense of urgency is what creates a sense of panic in those of us who are obese, who are trying to balance the need for food (especially after exercise) against the need to cut back. Fasting dispenses with the sense of urgency. It gives me confidence that I can do just fine without food for a long time.
8 AM: After all these years, I realize I've found the answer to the question: "Is it possible to lose weight without portion control?" The answer is "Yes, by periodic fasting." In my Catholic faith today, fasting is really minimal -- fast from meat on Fridays in Lent and only have the equivalent of two meals on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. I would often forget to fast from meat on Fridays, and I'd justify a good amount of food on the two actual days of cutting back. Even with just two days per year of fasting, I'd experience "diet backlash." Fasting has always seemed downright bizarre to me, in part because it obviously isn't sustainable. What is sustainable, however, is periodic fasting. I think I've got set what I want to do: fast until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. I'll gradually adjust to this, going to 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and then adding one-half hour of fasting per week until I get to 3 PM.
August 11, 2010, revised September 6, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For almost two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that promote health.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (eg. Weight Watchers) or types of food (eg. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Here are the two habits I am currently cultivating:
1. Eliminate sweets on all days except Sundays and a rolling average of two self-designated Exception Days per month: This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The elimination of sweets on all but an average of six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate on any one day.
2. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises from these two books as I improve. Right now, I can manage one push up (a cause for merriment when my children observe me!), so I have a long way to go in building muscle strength! I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book. Somehow, weight training fell off my priority list, and I regret it!
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
_____________________
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
Habits that Promote Health:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, August 11, 2010: 202.2 (also Day 703 of The No S Diet) (goal of 192 pounds: behind schedule by 10.2 pounds)
(Month 2) Day 22 – Wednesday, September 1, 2010: 197.6 (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 6.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 1 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 3.
Thoughts and weights for this month:
Day 22 – Wednesday, September 1, 2010: 197.6 I caught a cold from my daughter and was sick to my stomach yesterday, so -- of course -- my weight is lower today. Still, as I lay in bed yesterday, I was reminded of the day back in 2002 when I was suddenly ravenous. I had reached some sort of "tipping point" with dieting and could no longer restrict food. Yesterday seemed like it could be a "tipping point" as well. All those weekends of gorging have turned my stomach so that I'm somewhat averse to gorging: I no longer want to eat everything in sight.
One often-repeated piece of advice for dieting is to never, ever skip breakfast. Here I am deliberately skpping breakfast three mornings per week. It feels relaxing. In fact, the diet itself seems very calming. I eat according to rules which are sufficiently flexible that I only experience mild hunger on mornings when I fast, and -- other than that -- I feel no hunger at all. The mild hunger actually feels pleasant. It also is important, I think, so that I know what it is like to have less in my stomach so that I don't eat so much at regular mealtimes. What is amazing about this is that I used to feel panicky if I wasn't stuffed to the point that I could not eat any more. The transition has taken two years and required the addition of several new habits (fasting, exercising, and eating oatmeal on some mornings), and that's a long time to be close to 200 pounds. Still, it will have been worth it to go through everything if this is a permanent change. Time will tell. I have to be patient with myself and with this diet.
Day 23 – Thursday, September 2, 2010: 198.2. I feel better but still just had a plum, bread, and Nyquil for dinner and missed out on a get-together for parents of Scouts. I'm canceling coffee with a friend today. Because I feel so bad, I'm not eating that much, which is why my weight is down this much. Still, I also think that I'm adjusting to a lower food intake. It occurred to me that considering the issue of portion control and deciding that I'm never ever returning to it again has calmed me down about dieting. I think portion control might be a cause of the obesity epidemic. Back in the non-scientific days before calories could be counted, people relied on fasting as a way to control the appetite. Periodic fasting could be just a part of life, a habit. Can portion control be a habit? I think not. I think portion control necessarily involves willpower, which is why people are miserable practicing portion control even if they practice it for years and years. It's also why, when willpower is exhausted, the tendency is to gorge. There's a line in Intuitive Eating like: "Rice cakes one week, Haagen Dazs the next." The body doesn't want normal food after restrictive eating. The body wants everything in sight! During the first week that I practiced Intuitive Eating's "unconditional permission to eat", I had approximately 20 bags of peanut clusters. The kids even nicknamed the diet The Peanut Cluster Diet. I'm a long way from that now because I haven't practiced restrictive eating for a full two years. Do I ever want to return to that madness? No. A thousand times no. I'd rather be obese, but I have hope that I can actually return to a normal weight. We'll see. We'll see. I have to be patient. I'm no longer a restrictive eater. I don't have any sort of internal or external indicator for when to stop eating, and my external indicator for when to start is the clock. It's not whether or not my stomach growls or whether or not I have a set number of calories left or anything. This whole diet is just more relaxed and calmer. Now -- will I actually lose weight following it? That's the question!
I'm only off seven pounds in my goal of losing one pound per month. Given all the detours I've taken, that's not too bad. I'm up to using a 5 lb weight for my strengthening exercises. Last month, I just used 3 pound weights. My goal is to get to 15 pound weights. That will be enough!
2 PM: Exception Day. This was no mistake. I am in a calorie deficit from having been sick. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm hungry. I had cheese, bread, and a plum. There's nothing sweet in the house, and I don't much feel like running out to get something. I just was hungry enough to take an Exception Day.
6:30 PM: After swim team, I stopped at the store with the kids to get milk. It was an Exception Day, so I had the grocery store taste tests. Did I want to get ice cream or candy? No. I didn't. That was quite a change for me. I took an Exception Day because my eating had been messed up by being ill. I can eat whatever I want, and what do I want? A plum.
Day 24 – Friday, September 3, 2010: 199.4 I'm still stick, but my appetite is coming back as evidenced by the weight gain. I'm thinking of just having a fast from breakfast on Sundays because today I want breakfast. Last night, I did have some dinner, but mostly I wanted bread, fruit, and ginger ale. It's nice that I can respect what my body wants. This diet approach is just so calming. I always felt like I was in a panic -- on the edge of disaster -- when I was following calorie counting diets.
10 PM: I took another Exception Day because I wanted to have cereal and plums. My husband thinks I have the flu. I feel debilitated. I cannot seem to do much and went to bed tonight at 6. I hope I get over it soon.
Day 25 – Saturday, September 4, 2010: 198.0. I haven't gotten to 12,000 steps all week because of feeling sick, but I was still above an average of 12,000 steps as of yesterday. That's the beauty of making my goal a rolling average.
5 PM: Another Exception Day, so now I'm out of Exception Days. I realize what is wrong, other than that I am sick. I made two significant changes to the diet at once -- the addition of fasting and the addition of strengthening exercises. That was a mistake.
I am now backtracking. I am eliminating fasting. Tomorrow after church I am meeting for coffee the husband of the person who runs the church nursery, where I have been a volunteer for 10 years. I want to be in tip top shape when meeting him because he works at one of my target employers. Do I want to fast tomorrow morning? No. I was rash to go into this diet with two big changes. That's what impatience brings me.
I'm cutting my diet down to five habits -- with the elimination of oatmeal for breakfast (although I do still like it and will have it quite often) and fasting. My additions to my prior diet are just the exercise of 12,000 steps per day six days per week and the strengthening exercises three times per week.
This seems better. The reason why I wanted to have a very easy goal of losing one pound per month was so that I could experiment along the way.
7 PM: Tom lectured me tonight about my diet and how I was experimenting with the kids, as he pointed out that our 9 year old helped herself to two servings of birthday cake. OK, I agreed. He said that moderate eating is the key, not this binge eating on Sundays. I feel bad. My weight was 1 1/2 pounds less than it was today (196.6) more than one year ago, and here I am at 198, an unacceptable weight.
I think I need to be patient. I think I need to stick with this plan and see what comes of it over the next several months. Maybe I just shouldn't journal or weigh myself except once per month. Time will tell. Time will convince me. It took an entire year for me to be convinced that I wasn't losing any more weight following my modified No S Diet. Now I have selected two very moderate programs of walking and strength training to add to my eating program. If the article my sister sent me proves to be true in my case, then strength training will have an effect on my appetite. I won't know unless I try.
Sometimes it's hard to know what to do. I think I have an approach that could result in a lower weight -- not dramatically lower, but lower. I think I'll give this plan until next summer and just put it on auto-pilot until then. Monthly updates are sufficient until then. Monthly weigh-ins are sufficient until then.
There's a book on time management called Eat that Frog in which one highly recommended approach is to "practice creative procrastination". That means procrastinating on lower-value tasks. At this point, I am not going to know if this approach will help except by giving it time. Writing about it does not make the effectiveness of it more evident. Writing about it just makes me more impatient.
I need patience. I need time. I need to focus on getting a job and making sure the kids do well in school and being a cheerful wife to a husband who has a difficult job. The diet needs time and nothing more.
Day 26 – Sunday, September 5, 2010: 198.4. Maybe I can write just once per week. I didn't have dinner but got up at 4 and had cereal and an apple. I went back to bed and weighed myself at 8. I still feel lousy. We are going to the State Fair today or tomorrow, and it's questionable whether I should go at all. My number of steps per day did not get to 12,000 all week, and yesterday's was only 6,116. Yesterday, I didn't even finish the strengthening exercises. That's OK. I must have a program that is flexible enough to accomodate illness. I get sick sometimes. That's the way it is.
1 PM: I was chit-chatting with an elderly neighbor who asked me if I had lost weight, and I told her that I had. She then told me that she combines exercise with a "portion control" approach -- have two tablespoons of cake rather than a whole piece of cake, for example. I found this to be quite interesting for two reasons: 1. She is a very calm person who is interested in others, and 2. She's done this for years. I guess that portion control can work. She also is very conscientious about walking a lot, and she said that exercise is crucial for her to keep her weight down. I don't know how old she is, but she has a 92 year old sister.
Day 27 – Monday, September 6, 2010: 199.8. I like to write, so I continue. Yesterday, we went to the State Fair, and this morning I woke up feeling not exactly great. Tom noted that my stomach was making a lot of noise. Yes, I told him, three pieces of cakes, a number of cookies, French fries, and a pronto pup were too much. I can no longer tolerate that much junk. I do think the strengthening exercises are playing an important part in all of this, but I don't understand what part they are playing. Dr. Nelson explained that people who do stengthening exercises tend to be more physically active. I do notice better balance, but I haven't noticed more physical activity, perhaps because I've been sick.
In my research on dieting and fasting, I read some of St. Thomas Aquinas' explanations of gluttony. This man was one of the greatest thinkers of the Catholic Church (one of 33 or so known as "Dcotors of the Church"). He was also obese. Did he suffer from the sin of gluttony? His view was that a glutton has an attachment to food. I liken that view to the whole view that you should eat only when hungry: perception becomes what is important, not reality. Still, I have wondered why Aquinas was obese. Now I am speculating that he was a thinker and a writer. He was not out engaging in physical activity. Could it be that he needed strengthening exercises?
I'm sure there is an emotional component to the whole problem of obesity, but I just plain don't think it's the cause of the obesity problem. Instead, I tend to believe it is an effect. How can you feel great if you are sluggish because you are carrying around extra weight? It may be that lack of physical exercise, and especially strengthening exercises that were an essential part of living as recently as 50 years ao, is the cause of the obesity epidemic.
I can only test my theory on myself. I clearly stagnated at about 200 pounds following the first three of my habits. Now I have added two more -- 12,000 steps per day for six days per week and three sessions of strengthening exercises per week.
What will be the impact? Time will tell.
5:30 PM: I thought about all the Exception Days I took in the last week and realized that I have developed enough of a sense of what I need that I am now dispensing with the restriction on snacking. I will still eliminate sweets because I think that the elimination of sweets on all but six days per month helps me to regulate my appetite.
Or -- I'm fooling myself.
Day 28 – Tuesday, September 7, 2010: 199.4. I awoke at 2:30 AM thinking about my diet and ended up on the couch because I was afraid I'd wake up Tom. I realized that strengthening exercises drive aerobic exercise: all I need to do is the strengthening exercises and aerobic will follow naturally. Now I'm cutting down to only two habits to cultivate. It turns out that, for me, the critical benefit of The No S Diet was the "no sweets" restriction. I'll still give the dog her daily walks, and I still love oatmeal. The drivers behind my health, however, are the strengthening exercises and the "no sweets" restrictions. The desire for walks and for oatmeal are what follow from those. This is a lot simpler approach than the seven habits that I outlined last month. There's an old 80/20 rule in time management: 20% of tasks accomplish 80% of work. I'm apply that rule to dieting.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 8, 2010: 201.0 It is exactly two years since I started on The No S Diet, and I'm down 14 pounds. I've learned a lot. I've switched from trying to use willpower to control weight, and now I'm trying to cultivate habits. The problem is that I have had difficulty settling on which habits to cultivate. Over the past few days, it has become clear to me that "no snacks" is a very, very important habit to cultivate, since I quickly switched back to popping food into my mouth throughout the day. I can, however, set aside the pedometer walking, since I am walking around anyway. The key for exercise and improved energy, I think, may well be strengthening exercises.
I'm restarting the count just for the sake of having a restart on the two year anniversary of this diet and because I am hoping this tweak in what habits I'm following will be the last for at least a few months. I'll establish these and then consider how I'm doing with weight loss.
8:30 AM: Since the only change I have now made is to add strengthening exercises, I decided to move up from using a 5 lb. weight to using an 8 lb. weight.
Day 2 – Thursday, September 9, 2010: 200.4. I think my experiment is set. I made the mistake of selecting more than one variable to test. When I started The No S Diet two years ago, I made one change about a week after I started: having two Exception Days per month rather than an undefined number of Special Days. More than a year ago, I made one other change that stuck: Sundays rather than all weekends as reliable days of "unconditional permission to eat." The addition of strength training last month is a habit that will also stick. Since I've been at about 200 pounds for more than one year, never going below 195 except when I had a broken scale, I think that my weight going forward until Christmas or so will be a good test of the effect of strength training on weight. This whole diet isn't just about my losing weight. It's about finding a way for my kids to be of healthy weight when they are adults. They have two parents who are overweight, and three of them are now overweight. A program including "portion control" is one that I want them to avoid. I managed to be thin using "portion control" until I got pregnant with our first child when I was 34 years old. Sadly, my weight gains during pregnancy may have made it more likely that my children would have weight problems as adults. I cannot go back in time. I can only do my best today. And, right now, my older two need to get up to get ready for school, and there is a gorgeous sunrise outside the window -- purples and yellows and reds above the trees.
Day 3 – Friday, September 10, 2010: 200.8 It's hard to give time to a diet when you don't know whether or not it will work. Still, I remember too well the feeling of constant deprivation when I tried "portion control." With this diet, I am never hungry. I don't think that's good, either. Eventually, I think I will add some sort of fasting routine. At this point, however, it's enough to work on strengthening exercises and to isolate the impact of strengthening exercise on weight. Last year, I went from two days of "unconditional permission to eat" per weekend (Saturday and Sunday) down to one: Sunday. There was no impact on weight. I hope that there is at least a 10 pound impact on weight for the strengthening exercises.
In this morning's Star Tribune, I read that there is a grant to prevent childhood obesity which has been given to HealthPartners and the U of M. The new director of the center, Simone French, said: "No succcessful long-term weight loss interventions for adults have been identified." It's nice to hear an expert admit what is obvious: our healthcare providers dont' know what to do with an obese adult.
8:30 AM: Last night, I had the sandwich my daughter didn't eat for lunch plus a dinner that was a treat for the kids: crispy chicken plus rice plus beans. As I started to eat, I thought to myself, "That's an awful lot of food." It was an awful lot of food. I eat an awful lot of food, whch is why I am obese. I never notice. Is it possible that strength training is affecting appetite?
8 PM: Fasting. I think I need fasting in order to get me to realize that I don't need to eat as much as I am. How? I don't know.
10 PM: I'm never hungry doing this, and I need some way to change my appetite. Today I toyed with "portion control" and ended up with an Exception Day. It's fasting. I know it is. Fasting is like the severe retriciton of carbohydrates with Atkins in that the appetite is not stirred. It has an effect, I am speculating, in reducing appetite going forward. There is wisdom, I believe, in religious traditions, and I just saw online that medieval Catholic fasting practice was to refrain from food or water until midafternoon on Wednesdays and Friday. Greek Orthodox refrained from food until 3 PM on their Wednesday and Friday fast days. Isn't it interesting that ketosis starts to kick in at about that time after a fast from dinner?
I also think that there was a fast until communion on Sundays, making a morning fast what was done on three mornings per week. How interesting that we are strongly encouraged to eat breakfast every morning, and we are in an obesity epidemic.
I don't think I can make fasting a hard and fast rule. There will be exceptions, and I'm not tracking them. I will try to fast from food on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. This Sunday, I'm meeting with someone for coffee after church and may or may not eat in the morning. That's OK. What I need is frequent fasting to give me an appreciation of how little food I actually need. I don't need to fast three mornings per week in order to do that.
Day 4 – Saturday, September 11, 2010: 201.6. All I did yesterday was try to have a small lunch, and the result was a large binge. I cannot help but think that at least some of those people who are morbidly obese have developed an aversive reaction to the idea of "portion control" and simply cannot handle it. I cannot handle "portion control". Why did I try to have a small lunch? Well, on Thursday night, I realized that I was having a large dinner and this diet was not going to lead to weight loss. Then I decided maybe I can try to restrict how much I eat by being sure to taste every bite. I finished my lunch and then had two pieces of buttered bread. Then I didn't eat much all afternoon and decided that this was "virtual plating", which most definitely it was not. Once I'd lied to myself, it was easier to virtual plate dinner, which is something I don't believe in doing anyway. It was an easy step from there to a free for all.
I am convinced that fasting is necessary for me, that it is the only effective alternate to portion control. In fact, it's probably the only essential aspect of a diet that would help me lose weight. The benefit of restricting snacks and sweets for me is sanity: I don't think about food all the time. Strength training obviously is a benefit to my health and could help with reducing appetite. But it is fasting that will help me to overcome an almost panicked sense that I am starving if I am not eating to the maximum I want. With fasting, I can eat to the maximum I want every time. I just delay when I eat so that I am able to experience hunger and not be panicked by it. I have control over when to start eating but not over when to stop eating.
I find it very interesting that both Catholic and Greek Orthodox traditions include fasting to midafternoon two days per week. I don't want to fast to midafternoon, at least initially, because then my lunch would be disrupted, but I can fast until lunch. I'll start there.
What a horrible, horrible experience it is to try to lose weight and to fail time and again, with the consistent advice from the experts being that "portion control" is what is essential to dieting. I must figure this out.
For whatever reason, and I believe the reason is my years of dieting and succeeding with "portion control", I can no longer follow that conventional wisdom.
7 AM: I just dropped off Tom to caddy, and now I reflect on these experineces. It's hit and miss. Even Tom caddying this summer has been hit or miss. he's had to learn. No one has told him how to get loops, and he's made plenty of mistakes. Still, he's learned, and he likes it enough that he will caddy next summer rather than be a counselor in training at the Boy Scout camp, which has been his goal for years.
For me, the goal has been to lose weight, and it's taken me time to see that I cannot use portion control as the means. The pedometer walking was fun and motivating, but ultimately I don't think it did much. With strength training, I seem to be compelled almost to increase my activity level, as if the development of muscles through resistance training leads to a need to burn off the energy that was created. I still took Pepper for two walks yesterday even without tracking number of steps because I'm no longer using the pedometer. In fact, she's looking at me now wondering when I'll get off that computer...
With fasting, there's a sense that I'm in control and not the food. When meals have been delayed, it hasn't sent me into a panic. I know I can tolerate mild hunger. I'm still not clear on what to do about fasting, but I can work on that. The other two habits are nailed down: no snacks or sweets except on days of "unconditional permission to eat" and strengthening exercises three times per week. Gradually, gradually, by trial and error, I'll figure this out. Meanwhile -- explitive -- I'm above 200 pounds again. And today is a Saturday. If it wasn't so important how I lose weight and so clear to me that how I lose weight has a lot to do with whether or not I keep it off, I'd be furious at myself for all the time I've wasted trying to figure out how to lose weight.
8:30 AM: My 11 year old just said to me, "I can tell you've lost weight. You actually have curves now." I told her it wasn't weight loss: it was the strengthening exercises. It was very nice to hear this from my very honest little girl.
7:30 PM: Pepper only got one walk today. I'm realizing that I need to add back in the walking. I think I'll monitor steps per day on a monthly basis rather than on an ongoing basis. The number of steps was getting to be too high.
8 PM: It was another Exception Day due to my thinking maybe I don't need to worry about snacking. Enough! I'm driving myself crazy trying to create the perfect diet. This is the diet I'm following. Weighing myself and analyzing just will get me into trouble going forward. What I need is to do. I'll weigh myself next month. I'll write next month. The less I think about this going forward, the better.
Day 33 – Sunday, September 12, 2010: I was upset with myself last night for my decision to allow snacking. Here I am over 200 pounds and trying to find a way to minimize effort involved in losing weight. I decided today that I can continue to write, but I need to cut back on weighing myself. Weigh-ins have the tendency to get me to reconsider my approach. What I am doing other than the fasting and the no snacking is universally approved. Walking and strength exercises will improve my health even if I don't lose an ounce. The fasting (a loose definition, to be sure, since it just involves not eating breakfast three mornings per week) and the no snacking rule are ones which buck conventional wisdom, but I see them as a substitute for a portion control approach which tends to make people miserable and obsessed with food. I've given up on the idea of "perfect compliance" because I don't want to be worried about situations in which I don't skip breakfast for social reasons or I have trouble with steps because I'm sick. Even habits can have some flexibility. I'm not very flexible in not brushing my teeth, but I am flexible when it comes to some other habits that are well-established, like keeping up with the laundry room. When we got back from camping, the dryer had broken, and it was 10 days before we got a new one. I did not keep up on laundry then. I will try to be strict with Excpeiotn Days that are used for snacking or sweets, but other parts of this diet don't have to be so strict.
The strengthening exercises are making a big difference for me in a way that walking -- which takes much longer -- has not. Still, it's good to get out and walk, and I didn't yesterday. The pedometer does motivate me.
Day 34 – Monday, September 13, 2010: I did fine yesterday waiting until noon to eat. I had several bowls of ice cream yesterday afternoon and not much at all for dinner. The whole "unconditional permission to eat" approach is getting a little stale for me. If I overeat, I don't feel well. Lat night, I missed dinner with my family because I wasn't feeling well. I also ate some pretzels that were intended for school lunches, and my daughter got upset with me becasue the agreement was they were only for school lunches. The Sunday free day has created an entitlement mentality for me that I have to watch. I don't want my diet to disrupt family life.
I'm hoping that this is the end of the tweaking so I can settle down. What I have included in my diet -- skipping three breakfasts per week and avoiding snacks -- is counter the conventional wisdom. I think it will work, but I look to the day when I'm asked about it and dread the prospect of being viewed as a kook. I'm in no danger of being asked today, since I'm still obese, so maybe I have better things to occupy my mind -- like getting a job interview! It's not even light out. It's another 30 minutes before I get the older two up. I can set aside thoughts of dieitng and just live my life.
8 PM: Is this a joke or what? I'm changing the diet again. I've made it too complicated. I go back to the article my sister sent me on how appetite is affected by strengthening exercises and sweets, and I think of the idea of fasting as a replacement for portion control. I've larded this diet with extraneous things. I think that fasting until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays is probably more important than sticking with mealtime. I'm also tossing the idea of "perfect compliance" in favor of "one day at a time". I'll do my best today and not worry about anything else.
Day 35 – Tuesday, September 14, 2010: 202.0. Ugh. I hate being this fat, but here I am eliminating rather than expanding rules for eating. I'm eliminating the no snack rule. In the past week, I haven't seemed able to stick with it. I thought it was a firmly entrenched habit, and then I just couldn't do it anymore. Why? I don't know why. It's a diet collapse. My thoughts now are to find ways to decrease my appetite. I have now become aware of three ways in which appetite can be reduced: with strengthening exercises, with the limitation of sweets, and with fasting. I'm trying all three. My hope is that the weight gain from the past week is due to the backlash from giving up a rule. I'm hoping I don't continue to gain weight. Yesterday, I did wear a pedometer and get to almost 10,000 steps, but I just don't think that is the way for me to go. I think strength training is much more effective. I am going now to look for foods that can help with appetite, and I bet there are some.
6 AM: I realized that I already have identified a filling food that I like: oatmeal. I'll keep up that habit of having oatmeal in the morning. When the dust settles and I've been following this approach for a few weeks, maybe I'll see some progress.
8:30 PM: I am so stuffed that I had to lie down a lot after dinner. Tomorrow is my first day of fasting until 3 PM, and I'm nervous about it. I think that fasting makes it so that overeating is painful. It will be interesting to see how I eat on Thursday, which is between the Wednesday fast and the Friday fast.
Day 36 – Wednesday, September 15, 2010: 203.0. I'm surprised I'm only up one pound given what I ate yesterday. Today I will fast until 3 PM. In medieval times, people had no food or water until 3 PM. I'm having no calories, so I'll have black coffee and water but no food. I think there may be some great wisdom in the practice of fasting. It teaches detachment, according to what I have read. For me, I think it will teach me to be calm, knowing I can handle several hours without food. In this culture, words such as "ravenous" or "famished" are used to describe the state of a person who has missed an afternoon snack.
8 AM: I changed the diet again. I'm just going to avoid sweets on days other than Sundays. I don't have to track Exception Days. Today I need to get out of the unemployed time-wasting mentality, write up a to-do list and get going. I have a shot at a job that sounds really good, and I should hear today on whether or not I will be interviewed. Meanwhile, I am bringing a meal (and Toll House cookies) to a family which has a father who is undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Such a sad situation... The two children in the family in 11th grade (same grade as my oldest) and 6th (same grade as my middle daughter). I cannot imagine the agony of going through this....
9:30 AM: Once again, I am experiencing just how easy it is to fast. I'm making Toll House cookies, and it doesn't bother me at all. There is some sort of a switch that I can turn off if I am fasting. I also feel in control. It's hard to describe, but it's as if I was told that I would be in excrutiating pain if I went more than a few hours without food, and I go through it and find out there is no pain at all. I think the obesity epidemic is cultural. I think it comes from assumptions made about humans that is scientifically true (ie. that calories count) but don't take into consideration human nature (ie. counting calories eventually backfires). Then again, that's my experience. I lasted longer than 10 years counting calories and can't last 10 minutes now restricting food. With fasting, you don't restrict anything. You don't eat. It's more of a delay than a denial. When it comes to 3 PM, I can eat whatever I want. I can have Toll House cookies if I want.
2 PM: I decided to eat at about 12:30 PM. Maybe over time I can extend the fast to 3 PM, but I'm starting with this. To my surprise, I wasn't very hungry and I ate too much so now I don't feel well again. I have hte image in my mind of a pendulum. I think that it may be that you cannot swing too far from one side to the other. In other words, fasting reduces the amount you can overeat when you aren't fasting. I don't know: it's a theory.
I heard on the radio today about how children in the U.S. are starving. No they aren't. I'm sorry. Children in the U.S. don't go without food. They don't go without shoes. Oftentimes, they don't go without cell phones, cable TV, Internet access, etc... I'd like our older two to take lunch to school rather than pay $3/day, but everyone has school lunch. There are lots of kids, including the two with whom they rideshare to the bus stop, who pay $.40/day for school lunch. I think that there may be little or no appreciation of what it means to be hungry, so how is a person to appreciate fullness? That's why fasting may be important. It's my latest theory.
2:30 PM: I had one of those Toll House cookies, and it turned my stomach. I think that fasting may affect receptivity to sweets. As a result, I'm changing my diet to just two habits: strengthening exercises and fasting.
3 PM: I now have a diet in which I have "unconditional permission to eat" all the time except during times of fasting when I eat nothing. It's a sea change in outlook for me to have this change. I pulled out of my bookshelf a classic on spirituality called Introduction to the Devout Life, and in there I found a caution against excessive fasting. I think I understand why. It can feel good to fast. It can feel so good you want to do it more and more.
7:30 PM: I had some Toll House cookies. Somehow they didn't taste all that great. I think fasting may affect enjoyment of sweets. I don't know, though. I also had strength training exercises today. Something is going on, and I don't know what. I think I'm on the right path, though. I just need to be careful to increase fasting gradually. I'll start with fasting until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. It feels nice. It's strange, but it is almost calming. It also saves time -- no cooking or cleaning up afterwards.
Day 37 – Thursday, September 16, 2010: 202.2. Yesterday, I believe, was a day of transition. The No S Diet requires some effort for most of the week. With this diet of periodic fasting, the only effort is to fast for several hours three times per week. The fasting seems to have an impact on eating at other times. I can have "unconditional permission to eat" for most of the time!
Yesterday, my 16 year old had a personal training session at the gym. Afterwards, the trainer said to make sure to eat right away when we get home. There it is: the pervasive concern that it is essential to eat right away in order to stay healthy. I was polite, of course, and told the trainer that we have dinner is in a crock pot ready for us to eat as soon as we get home. Still, I think there is a cultural assumption that it is critically important to time eating, and that sense of urgency is what creates a sense of panic in those of us who are obese, who are trying to balance the need for food (especially after exercise) against the need to cut back. Fasting dispenses with the sense of urgency. It gives me confidence that I can do just fine without food for a long time.
8 AM: After all these years, I realize I've found the answer to the question: "Is it possible to lose weight without portion control?" The answer is "Yes, by periodic fasting." In my Catholic faith today, fasting is really minimal -- fast from meat on Fridays in Lent and only have the equivalent of two meals on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. I would often forget to fast from meat on Fridays, and I'd justify a good amount of food on the two actual days of cutting back. Even with just two days per year of fasting, I'd experience "diet backlash." Fasting has always seemed downright bizarre to me, in part because it obviously isn't sustainable. What is sustainable, however, is periodic fasting. I think I've got set what I want to do: fast until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. I'll gradually adjust to this, going to 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays and then adding one-half hour of fasting per week until I get to 3 PM.
Last edited by Kathleen on Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:18 pm, edited 47 times in total.
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
clarinetgal,
Yes, my SIL's physical strength is impressive. My goal is more to be heatlhy with a minimum of effort. That's why I'm taking my time in selecting what I think is the minimum that could work to reduce my weight. My version of The No S Diet wasn't enough, but I gave it an entire year to prove it wasn't. That's what I'm doing now as well with my seven habits. Thanks for the encouragement!
Kathleen
Yes, my SIL's physical strength is impressive. My goal is more to be heatlhy with a minimum of effort. That's why I'm taking my time in selecting what I think is the minimum that could work to reduce my weight. My version of The No S Diet wasn't enough, but I gave it an entire year to prove it wasn't. That's what I'm doing now as well with my seven habits. Thanks for the encouragement!
Kathleen
-
clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
September, 2010: Cultivating Habits that Promote Health
September 17, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet and gained back some of that weight. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that promote health.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Starting on September 17, 2010 at 204.2 pounds, I am now cultivating these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on all Sundays: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I do fast from midnight on Saturday until after church or after noon, so the "unconditional permission to eat" is only for part of one day per week. All week, I can look forward to Sunday afternoon, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month so that I can follow my diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but I don’t have sweets and everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. The elimination of sweets on all but an average of six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate eating when I do have sweets.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
5. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day six days per week (not on Sundays): I invested $30 in an Omron GoSmart pedometer with a watch and a record of steps for the prior seven days. My inspiration for this habit was from the book Move a Little, Lose a Lot by Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He argued that it is important to build exercise into your daily routine rather than to attempt to go to a gym regularly. I set my goal at 12,000 steps as a “stretch goalâ€, and I follow Dr. Nelson’s recommendation to limit aerobic exercise to six days per week. When I fall short of my daily goal, I walk more on other days. There is effort involved in making this goal, but my life also seems calmer. I walk around while waiting for children and park in the first available spot when I am going to stores. The dog also loves her daily walks!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast does involve the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which the Atkins diet is compared to fasting in creating an effect of only mild hunger because of the severe restriction of carbohydrates.
My goal for many years has been to lose weight without any portion control, and I believe that fasting will help me achieve that objective. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. A bill was just passed in Congress that had the word "hunger-free" in it. I think "hunger-free" may mean "obese-prone", and I would prefer to experience mild hunger so that I have a good sense of how much I need to eat in order to be satisfied. Knowing I can tolerate hunger is also very calming.
7. For breakfasts on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, try to have oatmeal: Steel cut oatmeal is filling and inexpensive. It also is an easy way to lower cholesterol, which I learned from the book Cholesterol Down by Dr. Janet Bond Brill. I bought a small Cuisinart crock pot which can be set to 1 ½ hours for cooking oatmeal. It switches to warm after the cooking time ends. This makes cooking oatmeal easy for me, and I have a satisfying start to the day!
_____________________
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
Habits that Promote Health:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0: last day >= 200 (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 9 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
Thoughts and weights for this month:
Day 1 – Friday, September 17, 2010: 204.2. I was in shock this morning. It actually counted that I had handfuls of chocolate covered almonds even though I fasted on Wednesday. The nice thing about a scale is that you can get whacked with reality. I'm returning to no snacks and no sweets. I'm pulling out my pedometer. I'm adding fasting, not replacing fasting. This is really difficult to admit: I need to put effort into losing weight, not just come up with some rules to follow mindlessly. Will I concede I need portion control? Not yet -- but I'm getting awfully tired of being this heavy.
8 AM: I'm having coffee this morning with a recruiter -- black coffee. Fasting does not need to force me into isolation.
10 AM: The meeting with the recruiter went well. The client wants someone who likes to document. I qualify -- in spades!!! In fact, I think that my diet may well need to be one which requires documentation because documentation gives me a sense of accomplishment. For some, wearing a pedometer may seem silly. For me, it is very motivating. For some, tracking number of Exception Days may be exasperating. For me, it is like building a balance in a savings account. I need to respect the quirks of my personality and go with an approach that works with those quirks. I also need to accept the reality that dieting takes effort. I was unrealistic.
7 PM: It was easy to fast. It was hard to return to no snacks and no sweets, especially with chocolate-covered almonds in the house. I can stop evaluating and tweaking and just follow this program. The dog got three walks today, and I'm already above 12,000 steps. I think that my health will improve even if I don't lose weight, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic that I'll also lose weight. What a detour this has been, but at least I learned that I do need these guidelines!
Day 2 – Saturday, September 18, 2010: "Deliver us from evil." I awoke thinking those words. I just have such a sense of the problems associated with portion control that I think of it as a cleverly disguised evil: the desire to be of a healthy weight is pitted against the body's need to survive. What I have read seems to indicate that fasting was used as a way to avoid gluttony. Fasting. It seems to be in a lot of religious traditions.
Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. On this day, Jews fast for 24 hours. I have too little knowledge of the Jewish faith, but I have a lot of respect for it. We are Catholic but our two older children attend a public school which has a student population that is about 1/3 Jewish, and we belong to the Jewish Community Center. There is a sense of community for Jews that is not as significant with Catholics. I wonder how much that sense of community comes from shared experiences like fasting. I remember reading once in a book on the Holocaust that Jews in concentration camps debated about whether to fast on Yom Kippur. Can you imagine the faith of a person who is willing to fast when he is being starved to death? I wonder how much fasting builds strength in character.
Fasting, franklly, is something I have only done a few times now. I can only speculate on the experience. It was easy yesterday, but all I did was skip breakfast and have lunch at 12:30 PM.
5:30 PM: I feel very much that I've just moved into a very new experience. New can be frightening. I think I need to realize that it will just take some time for me to understand how fasting and strengthening exercises will affect me. So far, so good. Yesterday, even at a higher weight, my interview pants fit less snugly than they did two weeks ago. I've trained myself over the years to be absolutely terrified of fasting, so -- of course -- there was going to be a strong reaction to fasting. I don't think I can trust my emotions in the near term. The fact is that I will not starve to death and I will not have any dramatic changes from skipping breakfast a few days per week. The changes are mild. I need to expect modest weight loss.
Day 3 – Sunday, September 19, 2010: 200.2 It's almost 7:30 AM, everyone except my son is still sleeping, and I just took my son to caddy. I woke up this morning thinking about the horrors of portion control. Fasting may seem severe, but it ends. I won't eat until noon. In five hours, I can eat whatever I want. With portion control, there is no ending. There is the knowledge that it will never end, that you can never eat until you are fully satisfied, that this misery will continue until the rest of your life or you will be fat for the rest of your life. I lived that way for so many years that it is depressing to me. Yes, I was thin. A belt I still have from those days I gave to my 11 year old the other day. She asked if she could have it, and I said yes. After 4 kids, I doubt very much I'm getting back to a 24" waist.
It's so sad, this assumption that you must have portion control in order to lose weight. It creates a false dichotomy: be miserable fat or be miserable using portion control. Pick your poison.
I'm fat now. Did I pick my poison? No. I read a book back in April of 2008 called Food Fight by Dr. Kelly Brownell, Director of Yale University's Center for Food Policy and Obesity. He is the man behind the idea of the soda tax. His view is that the environment of high fat and highly processed foods is what is making us fat. I remember distinctly lying on our living room couch reading that book and thinking: I wonder if it's more the thinking of the culture rather than the environment that is making us fat. Why are we eating so much? Is it simply that the food is there?
That's when I started to look back and read books that were written more than 50 years ago. It didn't occur to me then to explore religious practices around eating. I didn't see my eating problem at all as an emotional problem or a spiritual problem. I saw it as a physical problem.
I still see my obesity as a physical problem, as a reaction to years of "portion control." I gave out. I didn't give up. I gave out. With scheduled fasting, I won't give out because fasting is not constant. I have times when I recover from fasting.
Fasting is sustainable. That is clear to me. There are thousands of years of tradition behind it. The big question is this: Will I lose weight? Time will tell.
The first big milestone will be 193, which is the weight I put on my driver's license. Since 215 (my starting weight on 9/8/08 ) - 21.5 (10% of 215) = 193.5, I'll have lost 10% of my body weight by the time I am 193. Very few people lose 10% of their body weight and keep it off.
Day 4 – Monday, September 20, 2010: 202.4 I'm up .2 pound from yesterday even though I had "unconditional permission to eat" all yesterday afternoon and evening. My theory was that fasting would decrease my desire to eat. I was wrong. My desire remained the same, but my ability decreased. Yesterday was Doughnut Sunday after church, so I had a doughnut with chocolate frosting. Then I came home and had two bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Then Ellie and I made popcorn and candy balls. On my fourth or fifth, I said something about being on the edge of gluttony. Tom got upset with me and said I was going to get sick. I said I wasn't. Well, he was right. I'm ashamed of myself. I slept for part of the afternoon and then went to the store to get milk and ginger ale. The only time I have ginger ale is when I feel sick to my stomach. I had very little dinner.
When I read Kelly Brownell's book in April of 2008, I questioned if he wasn't making a big assumption. He was saying that people are fat because highly processed food is more readily available. I wondered why people chose to eat so much.
Fasting is something that cannot be described: it needs to be experienced. I question how much what I write will be of any help to anyone, including my children. Fasting seems to have a very significant impact, but I cannot understand it at this point. It's frightening. What is frightening is not to be hungry for a few hours. What is frightening is the impact on me that is as of yet unknown. I do now know one impact that I had not anticipated: my body cannot tolerate as much food. It's like bypass surgery without the surgery!
Months ago, I had my all time biggest pig out when I ate about 4,000 calories of caramel macademian clusters. I am quite confident that that experience will never again be repeated. I am also confident that yesterday's experience will never be repeated. I did not eat as much, but I could not tolerate the amount that I did eat. As I was eating that last popcorn ball, I knew I was treading on thin ice. Next time, when I get to that level of fullness, I'm going to stop. That's the key. There will be an internal signal to stop because it's no fun to have an upset stomach. Fasting used to be considered the antidote to gluttony, and now I know why.
The Church found a simple and measurable way for people to be detached from food, and it was twice weekly fasts from food. I was an English major in college, and I can look back and appreciate now why the fat friar was such a disreputable character. An overweight cleric could be suspected of not keeping the required fasts.
There is, however, one great exception, and that is St. Thomas Aquinas who was very overweight. His work was to write. I wonder if he would have been thin had he done strengthening exercises! I think both fasting and strengthening exercises are essential for my weight management. Time will tell. I'm impatient, but I think I'm on the right path.
Day 5 – Tuesday, September 21, 2010: 200.0. I first got above 200 pounds in spring or summer of 2004, and I've been above 194 since then. I only got down to 194 when I was starting to suspect that the scale was broken, so my lowest weight since 2004 may well have been about 196.
Is this my last day with a weight above 200 pounds? Possibly.
Meanwhile, I've been wracking my brain to try to figure out what fast rules were followed by Catholics. I saw online that, in medieval times, Wednesdays and Fridays were fast days until mid-afternoon. I found a pre-Vatican catechism In this book (My Catholic Faith), a fast day is defined as "a day in which only one full meal is allowed; but in the morning and evening some food may be taken, the quantity and quality of which are determined by approved local custom." What happened here? A fast is now defined as three meals, two of which are small. This sounds like "portion control" rather than fasting.
I know the names of many saints who wrote, but I can't think of any other than Aquinas who wrote for the non-religious. How I am I going to read about the rationale behind fasting when fasting was defined as no food until mid-afternoon? John Henry Newmann was just beautified by the pope, and I know he also wrote. Maybe he has written about fasting.
Has the obesity epidemic come about because of a fear of hunger and nothing more?
Last night, I attended a study group from 5:30 - 7:30 PM, so I had to leave at about 5:15 PM. Did I want to have an early dinner? No... Decidedly no. After Sunday's experience of a stomach ache, I wanted to err on the side of eating too little rather than too much. I didn't eat until about 8, and I only thought about dinner during the study group to the extent that I realized how little affected I was by a late dinner.
Day 6 – Wednesday, September 22, 2010: I took an Exception Day yesterday. Coward that I am, I did not weigh myself this morning! Why did I take an Exception Day? The reason why is I was scared of my fast today. I decided only to fast until lunchtime for at least the near term because the whole experience is so unsettling. Last night, I realized that I can't take Exception Days on Fast Days. I'm struggling to remember where I read it, but it was years ago and it was in some sort of literary work like Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. People took fasting very seriously. It was like Mass attendance today for those of us Catholics who believe there is a big dividing line between weekly Mass attendance and not. I don't think fasting will work unless I follow it on Wednesday and Friday morning with "perfect compliance", just like I learned the hard way that my Sunday "unconditional permission to eat" must be followed with "perfect compliance". The school has Mass this morning, so I'll go to communion, and I'm having coffee as usual, but I'm having nothing else. It almost seems like a sacred time.
I think there was something to prior Catholic practice of fasting that has been completely lost with the revised "portion control" approach to fasting, and I'm not quite sure how to even find out what was the practice or when it changed. I was going through my copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales but didn't come upon any discussion of fasting. I also ordered a book from the library which was written by John Henry Newman.
I seem to have a background attractive to employers because I'm certainly getting a lot of contact from recruiters. One of the positions for which I was submitted is at UnitedHealth Care. I'd love to work there. Yesterday, I listened to a Webinar by one of their subsidiaries, OptumHealth, about employer health and wellness programs. The company did a survey of 300 people who had lost at least 20 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. I had to laugh at that. When you're obese, a 20 pound weight loss isn't very impressive, but it just goes to show how rare it is for people to lose weight and keep it off. One of the points discussed was that the key factor for people was self-motivation -- some sort of trigger that gets them to lose weight. That was the case for me, back in January of 2004. I saw my then nine year old rush to the kitchen to eat food and thought that she was going down the path I had been down, and I didn't want that. Sadly, that nine year old is now 16 and overweight. I love her so much. When she was born, she completely changed my life. I would rather she be overweight or even obese for the rest of her life than to suffer the misery of constant "portion control". My motivation is to help her to lead a life of health.
Day 7 – Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0. I'm beginning to understand the enormous impact of fasting. Yesterday, I picked up Tom from swim team, stopped at Costco, and got him home just before 7. Then, instead of having dinner, I brought our two younger daughters with me to get their hair cut. It wasn't until almost 8:30 that I had dinner. I had no problem eating that late. Fasting seems to give me the flexibility to eat at different times. I don't feel as though I am constantly in a panic that I need food NOW!!! When I did eat last night, I ate a large bowl of a chicken and potato meal that I had cooked in the crock pot. I did not like the feeling of being overfull, and this morning I liked that feeling even less. Fasting seems to shift the feeling of normal fullness from where I used to feel comfortable (stuffed) to where I feel decidedly uncomfortable when I am stuffed and am not quite sure how much to eat in order to feel comfortable. I'm not sure how long it will take for the shift to occur so I can be of a normal weight, but I'm beginning to recognize that fasting is going to have a 24 X 7 impact on me even though I only plan to fast three mornings per week.
So much for the theory that it is very important to have breakfast every morning...
10 AM: The recruiter called to say that UnitedHealth will be setting up an interview with me. I am delighted! Meanwhile, I have spent part of this morning listening to a Webinar from OptumHealth, one of UnitedHealth's subsidiary companies, on how online programs can help with obesity. A prominent feature is the "portion sizer".
Lucky for me: the role of the business analyst is to be neutral -- in other words, if I work there, I will keep my mouth shut on my idea that portion control theory is a contributor to the obesity epidemic. I also spent some time looking up images of Kelly Brownell, the Director of Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University. It turns out that this guy isn't just overweight: he's very obese, possibly morbidly obese. Can you imagine having your job be to figure out the obesity epidemic and you yourself are grossly overweight?
My husband might well think there are 1,000 things a higher priority for me to do than to look up images of Kelly Brownell. It's time for me to get back to doing useful things. I'm applying for full time contract work now. When I start to work, I'll be swamped and won't have the luxury I now have of being a philosopher.
Day 8 – Friday, September 24, 2010: 199.4 I have an interview today with another recruiter, so I have to leave, but I did find reference to a fat friar and how he does not fast regularly which is why he is fat. It's in The Decameron, a book written just after the Black Plague in 1347-49. I need to find a book on the history of fasting regulations for Catholics, and I think I may have trouble locating such a book, but I think I'm on the right track that fasting is the way people used to stay slim. When I get a chance, I'll quote an entire paragraph from The Decameron. Fasting was such a part of everyday life that it was rarely mentioned except to point out that friars -- who should have been most rigorous -- proved that they weren't fasting when they were fat!
Here is a paragraph from the Third Story of the Seventh Day of Boccaccio's The Decameron: "But why do I ramble on about this Friar Rinaldo of ours? Is there a single one of these friars who behaves any differently? Ah, scandal of this corrupt and wicked world! It doesn't worry them in the least that they appear so fat and bloated, that a bright red glow suffuses their cheeks, that their clothes are smooth as velvet, and that in all their dealings they are so effeminate; yet they are anything but dovelike, for they strut about like so many proud peacocks with all their feathers on display. Furthermore, their cells are stuffed with jars filled with unguents and electuaries, with boxes full of various sweetmeats, with phials and bottles containing oils and liquid essences, and with casks brimming over with Malmsey and Greek and other precious wines, so that to any impartial observer they look more like scent shops or grocery stores than the cells of friars. But what is worse, they are not ashamed to admit that they suffer from gout, as though it were not widely known and recognized that regular fasting, a meagre and simple diet, and a sober way of life makes people lean and slender, and for the most part healthy. Or at least, if they produce infirmity, this does not take the form of gout, for which the remedy usually prescribed is continence and all other features of a humble friar's existence. Moreover, they think we are too stupid to realize that a frugal life, lengthy vigils, prayer and self-restraint ought to give to people a pale and drawn appearance, and that neither Saint Dominic nor Saint Francis had four cloaks apiece, or swaggered about in habits that were elegantly tailored and finely woven, but clad themselves in coarse woolen garments of a natural colour, made to keep out the cold. However, God will doubtless see that they, and the simple souls who keep them supplied with all these things, receive their just deserts."
12:15 PM: My interview with the recruiter went well, although he has no positions for which he could place me right now. We talked for over an hour, and it did not matter at all that I had not eaten. This time of fasting almost seems like a sacred time, a time set apart, although I am not changing at all what I am doing. There is a different internal perspective on what I am doing. It's almost more thoughtful. I think fasting may have more of an impact on a person in a non-physical way than it does physically even if it does result in the loss of a lot of weight. Time will tell. I can record my experience today but can only speculate on the effect tomorrow.
2 PM: My fast is over, I had a satisfying lunch, and now I'm having the two younger girls play after school with their classmates. It rained hard yesterday is sunny, so we'll go to a park. What is it that fasting changes? It certainly doesn't seem to change what I do. Instead, it seems to have a change in my outlook. "Portion control" seemed to create a constant panic -- I was always on the bring of binge eating because I felt so hungry and I was grumpy and I was obsessed with food. Now, I can focus on those two precious little girls of mine and their friends. There is delight in the every day.
I read once an article in the paper about exotic travels. Oh yes... I've been to Europe five times and had lots of experiences which could be the envy of others, but one of my fondest memories is of my now 11 year old daughter recognizing the meaning of one of the calls of the loon (Minnesota's state bird) as "Where are you? Where are you?" She has the wonder of a child.
I think fasting may create a feeling of gratitude for simple foods and simple pleasures. Even without fasting, I would have enjoyed this afternoon, but somehow fasting magnifies the ordinary into extraordinary pleasure. It's too soon for me to understand, but that's where I think I'm headed.
Day 9 – Saturday, September 25, 2010: 197.2 I normally get out of bed at 5:30 or so, even on weekends, but today I rolled out of bed at 8:30 AM. That explains my drop in weight. I think there is a big change with fasting, and I am going to try to understand and document it. The first big change I see is calm. I'm no longer in a panic about eating exactly on time. I'm not in a panic that I won't get what I want. My 16 year old and 9 year old just interrupted me about who gets to eat the leftover rice from a Chinese dinner last night. My 16 year old has been following The No S Diet for almost two years and has the addictive obsessive need for food now. I understand. The no-snacks rule helps with addiction to food, but -- without the one plate rule -- you never experience hunger.
Another effect of fasting seems to be patience. I can sometimes tune out the kids, but now I feel more of a patience in hearing their stories.
One of the books I was reading that was more than 50 years old and might indicate a different approach to eating was a book called Introduction to the Devout Life. In it there is a warning against excessive fasting. I think I can appreciate why people would fast excessively. There can be such positive feelings associated with fasting that you want to do more and more.
9 PM: If there was anyone who could understand the impact of fasting on me, it would be Tom. I tried to explain it, and he more or less said "eat less, exercise more." He said Catholic teaching was never meant to address obesity. I read to him a sentence from Introduction to the Devout Life: "Besides the usual effects of fasting, namely, elevating our spirits, keeping the body in subjection, practicing virtue, and gaining a greater reward in heaven, it is valuable for restraining gluttony and keeping our sensual appetites and body subject to the law of the spirit." (The Third Part, #23). I do not pretend to understand what this means. My only point was that fasting was viewed as a way to restrain gluttony. Tom said that fasting was meant for spiritual reasons which is why the author used the words "usual effect of fasting." I could agree with that, but it does seem to me that people saw that fasting was a way to address gluttony (physical effect) as well as to practice virtue (spiritual effect).
It is premature for me to open my mouth. In fact, the best argument would be the loss of weight. I need to wait. I need to see the effect of fasting and keep my mouth shut. I thought I should talk to Tom about it because he is my husband, but I don't need to say anything more. I will silently observe and write.
Day 10 – Sunday, September 26, 2010: 198.4. There is a beautiful line in Introduction to the Devout Life, which was attributed to St. Gregory Naziansen: "By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue" (The Third Part, #1). Is it possible that fasting can have an incredible effect on me and not just because I'm losing weight? I just don't know. All I'm really doing is skipping three breakfasts per week. Still, there does seem to be an impact from the resolve to carve out time when I do not eat. I woke up about 5 AM this morning and it felt different that this was a fast morning, even though I was awake before breakfast and went back to sleep after that. This is all a puzzle to me. I will describe it as best I can, but it doesn't really make sense to me at this point. I am following my normal routine and yet everything seems different.
9 PM: After lunch, I had a small Starbuck frappachino, about 1/2 cup ice cream, one of the individual cartons of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream, and several pieces of fudge. That was it. No dinner. No Haagen Dazs ice cream bar after dinner. Once again, I felt sick and had to go to bed. In fact, I wanted nothing to do with food. I didn't want to be around food. I had some milk and that's it. Why? Last week, I managed to get sick from several popcorn balls so I was careful to eat less this week, and still I overdosed. I think it's the fasting. This week, I will try to fast until 12:45 PM on Wednesday and Friday, an increase of 15 minutes from last week. I'm being very deliberate.
I also decided using 8 lb. weights was just too much for me, so I'm going to get 6 lb. weights. I also have changed my pedometer walking to just wearing it and recording my number of steps.
Day 11 – Monday, September 27, 2010: 199.2 After yesterday's experience, it's clear to me that fasting will work. It took me a long time to realize that I need to have regular intermittent experiences of hunger. This is far easier than a diet approach which promises unending experiences of hunger. I'm dialing back on my approach to ensure sustainability. Going from 5 lb. weights to 8 lb. weight was too hard for me, so I'm going back to 5 lb. weights and ordering 6 lb. weights online. I'll just fast until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays until I can adjust my eating on Sundays so that I don't feel sick from overeating. I'll track my steps but not have a goal for number of steps/day. This is a very conservative approach to weight management. I'm not worried about how long it takes me to lose weight. I'm focused on establishing a program which is easy to follow and results in permanent weight loss.
Day 12 – Tuesday, September 28, 2010: 199.6. I didn't get home last night until after 7 and was very hungry, so I ate a lot. That's the beauty of this diet. If I'm hungry, I eat a lot. This morning I was also hungry, so I ate before the kids got up instead of after the kids left for school. As a result, I did not have my oatmeal, which takes 1 1/2 hours to cook. I can listen to my body and eat as much as I want. All I need to do is wait for the time when I can eat. I think my thinking abiout this diet is over. I do want to do some research on John Henry Newman's views on fasting, especially after I looked on Amazon in the book previews and saw some references to Newman in a book on fasting. I bought a 6 lb. weight yesterday and did some of my exercises. I do think strengthening exercises are critical to the diet, whereas pedometer walking and oatmeal are helpful but not essential. It takes time to sort things out. My hope is that my October weight is at or below 198 so that I look upon my progress as being only 8 pounds behind my one pound per month goal.
1:40 PM: I just finished pained the hallway, and I am now going to eat. One effect of fasting is that I can be more flexible in the choice of mealtime. I didn't have to interrupt painting in order to have lunch during the noon hour.
Day 13 – Wednesday, September 29, 2010: Today is a Fast Day. I did better last night in anticipation of this fast day than I did last Tuesday when I ended up taking an Exception Day, but I still ate so much that I decided against stepping on the scale this morning. I may try lasting until 1 PM this afternoon before I have anything to eat. There is nothing on my calendar for today. I have not yet been called by UHG for an interview. Today, I will fill my day with housework, grocery shopping, and self study programs for Word and Visio 2007 which would help me in a job. I'll apply to one job on Craigslist. Jobhunting, I think, is inherently unpleasant, since you don't know if you will have any benefit from the work you put into it. As a result, I'm limiting my jobhunting time and filling most of my day with tasks that do have a payback. My husband would prefer a well-run household and well-cared-for kids to a little extra money, so I'm in a good position to take my time in finding a job. Still, I'd prefer working to being home.
As for this diet, I don't know that there is much more to do than to follow it and wait to see the results. I can tweak it somewhat, but the core is to not eat at all for at least 12 hours three days per week, to have "unconditional permission to eat" on Sunday afternoons and evenings, and to do strengthening exercises three times per week. Tracking Exception Days simply keeps me honest in not taking an Exception Day where not needed. It's going to be boring to just wait and see what happens, like standing before a pot waiting for water to boil, but that's what I think I need to do right now. When I was waiting for water for pasta to boil last night, I took the dog for a walk. Maybe I need to focus on other things for a few months to see what results from this addition of strength training and fasting to the diet I was following for the last year. I bet there is some weight loss, but I'm just not sure how much.
9 AM: I think I understand why fasting works. I now have the pleasant feeling of being slightly -- ever so slightly -- hungry. When you are dieting all the time and restricting the amount of food you take in, the feeling of hunger is to be feared because it's what precedes the end-of-diet binge. With fasting, there is no such fear because I can eat as much as I want as soon as the fast ends.
1 PM: I decided to eat at 12:45 PM and will stick with that time for this week and next week. Meanwhile, I'm listening to an OptumHealth Webinar on the health and wellness coaching. There is something called the model for change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. What I like about this model is that the approach is to create sustainable lifestyle changes that benefit health. The approach is also very respectful of the consumer. The goal is to provide information and allow the consumer to make the decision regarding choice of provider, treatment option, etc. I, of course, have been doing the strengthening exercises while listening to this Webinar.
Day 14 – Thursday, September 30, 2010: 198.8. School conferences and Take Your Parent to School day today... It's time for me to stop analyzing this diet and just follow it and see what happens...
September 17, 2010: Earlier this year, my teenage son told me that I viewed The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen as some sort of “magic dietâ€. He was right: I did. For two years, this diet has been my “magic dietâ€. I lost twenty pounds in nine months, and then I lost no more weight. I began experimenting with changes to the diet and gained back some of that weight. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized that the brilliance of The No S Diet is not in the specific rules of the diet. Instead, the brilliance of the diet is in the philosophy of cultivating habits that promote health.
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
It is so obvious that it almost seems like a tautology, but it is not: the way to be thin is to cultivate habits that result in being thin. People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds by the time I started The No S Diet on September 8, 2008!
For me, willpower is used to establish habits that are sustainable for life. Once willpower is used to establish the habits, I find it easy to follow the habits. In fact, it seems strange not to follow the habits. Now, two years after having first started to follow The No S Diet, I am cultivating habits that I think will lead to my being thin. If they do not, I will adjust by cultivating different habits. Starting on September 17, 2010 at 204.2 pounds, I am now cultivating these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on all Sundays: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I do fast from midnight on Saturday until after church or after noon, so the "unconditional permission to eat" is only for part of one day per week. All week, I can look forward to Sunday afternoon, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month so that I can follow my diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but I don’t have sweets and everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. The elimination of sweets on all but an average of six days per month seems to have reduced the amount of sweets I can tolerate eating when I do have sweets.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
5. Walk an average of 12,000 steps per day six days per week (not on Sundays): I invested $30 in an Omron GoSmart pedometer with a watch and a record of steps for the prior seven days. My inspiration for this habit was from the book Move a Little, Lose a Lot by Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He argued that it is important to build exercise into your daily routine rather than to attempt to go to a gym regularly. I set my goal at 12,000 steps as a “stretch goalâ€, and I follow Dr. Nelson’s recommendation to limit aerobic exercise to six days per week. When I fall short of my daily goal, I walk more on other days. There is effort involved in making this goal, but my life also seems calmer. I walk around while waiting for children and park in the first available spot when I am going to stores. The dog also loves her daily walks!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast does involve the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which the Atkins diet is compared to fasting in creating an effect of only mild hunger because of the severe restriction of carbohydrates.
My goal for many years has been to lose weight without any portion control, and I believe that fasting will help me achieve that objective. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. A bill was just passed in Congress that had the word "hunger-free" in it. I think "hunger-free" may mean "obese-prone", and I would prefer to experience mild hunger so that I have a good sense of how much I need to eat in order to be satisfied. Knowing I can tolerate hunger is also very calming.
7. For breakfasts on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, try to have oatmeal: Steel cut oatmeal is filling and inexpensive. It also is an easy way to lower cholesterol, which I learned from the book Cholesterol Down by Dr. Janet Bond Brill. I bought a small Cuisinart crock pot which can be set to 1 ½ hours for cooking oatmeal. It switches to warm after the cooking time ends. This makes cooking oatmeal easy for me, and I have a satisfying start to the day!
_____________________
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
Habits that Promote Health:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0: last day >= 200 (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 9 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
Thoughts and weights for this month:
Day 1 – Friday, September 17, 2010: 204.2. I was in shock this morning. It actually counted that I had handfuls of chocolate covered almonds even though I fasted on Wednesday. The nice thing about a scale is that you can get whacked with reality. I'm returning to no snacks and no sweets. I'm pulling out my pedometer. I'm adding fasting, not replacing fasting. This is really difficult to admit: I need to put effort into losing weight, not just come up with some rules to follow mindlessly. Will I concede I need portion control? Not yet -- but I'm getting awfully tired of being this heavy.
8 AM: I'm having coffee this morning with a recruiter -- black coffee. Fasting does not need to force me into isolation.
10 AM: The meeting with the recruiter went well. The client wants someone who likes to document. I qualify -- in spades!!! In fact, I think that my diet may well need to be one which requires documentation because documentation gives me a sense of accomplishment. For some, wearing a pedometer may seem silly. For me, it is very motivating. For some, tracking number of Exception Days may be exasperating. For me, it is like building a balance in a savings account. I need to respect the quirks of my personality and go with an approach that works with those quirks. I also need to accept the reality that dieting takes effort. I was unrealistic.
7 PM: It was easy to fast. It was hard to return to no snacks and no sweets, especially with chocolate-covered almonds in the house. I can stop evaluating and tweaking and just follow this program. The dog got three walks today, and I'm already above 12,000 steps. I think that my health will improve even if I don't lose weight, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic that I'll also lose weight. What a detour this has been, but at least I learned that I do need these guidelines!
Day 2 – Saturday, September 18, 2010: "Deliver us from evil." I awoke thinking those words. I just have such a sense of the problems associated with portion control that I think of it as a cleverly disguised evil: the desire to be of a healthy weight is pitted against the body's need to survive. What I have read seems to indicate that fasting was used as a way to avoid gluttony. Fasting. It seems to be in a lot of religious traditions.
Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. On this day, Jews fast for 24 hours. I have too little knowledge of the Jewish faith, but I have a lot of respect for it. We are Catholic but our two older children attend a public school which has a student population that is about 1/3 Jewish, and we belong to the Jewish Community Center. There is a sense of community for Jews that is not as significant with Catholics. I wonder how much that sense of community comes from shared experiences like fasting. I remember reading once in a book on the Holocaust that Jews in concentration camps debated about whether to fast on Yom Kippur. Can you imagine the faith of a person who is willing to fast when he is being starved to death? I wonder how much fasting builds strength in character.
Fasting, franklly, is something I have only done a few times now. I can only speculate on the experience. It was easy yesterday, but all I did was skip breakfast and have lunch at 12:30 PM.
5:30 PM: I feel very much that I've just moved into a very new experience. New can be frightening. I think I need to realize that it will just take some time for me to understand how fasting and strengthening exercises will affect me. So far, so good. Yesterday, even at a higher weight, my interview pants fit less snugly than they did two weeks ago. I've trained myself over the years to be absolutely terrified of fasting, so -- of course -- there was going to be a strong reaction to fasting. I don't think I can trust my emotions in the near term. The fact is that I will not starve to death and I will not have any dramatic changes from skipping breakfast a few days per week. The changes are mild. I need to expect modest weight loss.
Day 3 – Sunday, September 19, 2010: 200.2 It's almost 7:30 AM, everyone except my son is still sleeping, and I just took my son to caddy. I woke up this morning thinking about the horrors of portion control. Fasting may seem severe, but it ends. I won't eat until noon. In five hours, I can eat whatever I want. With portion control, there is no ending. There is the knowledge that it will never end, that you can never eat until you are fully satisfied, that this misery will continue until the rest of your life or you will be fat for the rest of your life. I lived that way for so many years that it is depressing to me. Yes, I was thin. A belt I still have from those days I gave to my 11 year old the other day. She asked if she could have it, and I said yes. After 4 kids, I doubt very much I'm getting back to a 24" waist.
It's so sad, this assumption that you must have portion control in order to lose weight. It creates a false dichotomy: be miserable fat or be miserable using portion control. Pick your poison.
I'm fat now. Did I pick my poison? No. I read a book back in April of 2008 called Food Fight by Dr. Kelly Brownell, Director of Yale University's Center for Food Policy and Obesity. He is the man behind the idea of the soda tax. His view is that the environment of high fat and highly processed foods is what is making us fat. I remember distinctly lying on our living room couch reading that book and thinking: I wonder if it's more the thinking of the culture rather than the environment that is making us fat. Why are we eating so much? Is it simply that the food is there?
That's when I started to look back and read books that were written more than 50 years ago. It didn't occur to me then to explore religious practices around eating. I didn't see my eating problem at all as an emotional problem or a spiritual problem. I saw it as a physical problem.
I still see my obesity as a physical problem, as a reaction to years of "portion control." I gave out. I didn't give up. I gave out. With scheduled fasting, I won't give out because fasting is not constant. I have times when I recover from fasting.
Fasting is sustainable. That is clear to me. There are thousands of years of tradition behind it. The big question is this: Will I lose weight? Time will tell.
The first big milestone will be 193, which is the weight I put on my driver's license. Since 215 (my starting weight on 9/8/08 ) - 21.5 (10% of 215) = 193.5, I'll have lost 10% of my body weight by the time I am 193. Very few people lose 10% of their body weight and keep it off.
Day 4 – Monday, September 20, 2010: 202.4 I'm up .2 pound from yesterday even though I had "unconditional permission to eat" all yesterday afternoon and evening. My theory was that fasting would decrease my desire to eat. I was wrong. My desire remained the same, but my ability decreased. Yesterday was Doughnut Sunday after church, so I had a doughnut with chocolate frosting. Then I came home and had two bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Then Ellie and I made popcorn and candy balls. On my fourth or fifth, I said something about being on the edge of gluttony. Tom got upset with me and said I was going to get sick. I said I wasn't. Well, he was right. I'm ashamed of myself. I slept for part of the afternoon and then went to the store to get milk and ginger ale. The only time I have ginger ale is when I feel sick to my stomach. I had very little dinner.
When I read Kelly Brownell's book in April of 2008, I questioned if he wasn't making a big assumption. He was saying that people are fat because highly processed food is more readily available. I wondered why people chose to eat so much.
Fasting is something that cannot be described: it needs to be experienced. I question how much what I write will be of any help to anyone, including my children. Fasting seems to have a very significant impact, but I cannot understand it at this point. It's frightening. What is frightening is not to be hungry for a few hours. What is frightening is the impact on me that is as of yet unknown. I do now know one impact that I had not anticipated: my body cannot tolerate as much food. It's like bypass surgery without the surgery!
Months ago, I had my all time biggest pig out when I ate about 4,000 calories of caramel macademian clusters. I am quite confident that that experience will never again be repeated. I am also confident that yesterday's experience will never be repeated. I did not eat as much, but I could not tolerate the amount that I did eat. As I was eating that last popcorn ball, I knew I was treading on thin ice. Next time, when I get to that level of fullness, I'm going to stop. That's the key. There will be an internal signal to stop because it's no fun to have an upset stomach. Fasting used to be considered the antidote to gluttony, and now I know why.
The Church found a simple and measurable way for people to be detached from food, and it was twice weekly fasts from food. I was an English major in college, and I can look back and appreciate now why the fat friar was such a disreputable character. An overweight cleric could be suspected of not keeping the required fasts.
There is, however, one great exception, and that is St. Thomas Aquinas who was very overweight. His work was to write. I wonder if he would have been thin had he done strengthening exercises! I think both fasting and strengthening exercises are essential for my weight management. Time will tell. I'm impatient, but I think I'm on the right path.
Day 5 – Tuesday, September 21, 2010: 200.0. I first got above 200 pounds in spring or summer of 2004, and I've been above 194 since then. I only got down to 194 when I was starting to suspect that the scale was broken, so my lowest weight since 2004 may well have been about 196.
Is this my last day with a weight above 200 pounds? Possibly.
Meanwhile, I've been wracking my brain to try to figure out what fast rules were followed by Catholics. I saw online that, in medieval times, Wednesdays and Fridays were fast days until mid-afternoon. I found a pre-Vatican catechism In this book (My Catholic Faith), a fast day is defined as "a day in which only one full meal is allowed; but in the morning and evening some food may be taken, the quantity and quality of which are determined by approved local custom." What happened here? A fast is now defined as three meals, two of which are small. This sounds like "portion control" rather than fasting.
I know the names of many saints who wrote, but I can't think of any other than Aquinas who wrote for the non-religious. How I am I going to read about the rationale behind fasting when fasting was defined as no food until mid-afternoon? John Henry Newmann was just beautified by the pope, and I know he also wrote. Maybe he has written about fasting.
Has the obesity epidemic come about because of a fear of hunger and nothing more?
Last night, I attended a study group from 5:30 - 7:30 PM, so I had to leave at about 5:15 PM. Did I want to have an early dinner? No... Decidedly no. After Sunday's experience of a stomach ache, I wanted to err on the side of eating too little rather than too much. I didn't eat until about 8, and I only thought about dinner during the study group to the extent that I realized how little affected I was by a late dinner.
Day 6 – Wednesday, September 22, 2010: I took an Exception Day yesterday. Coward that I am, I did not weigh myself this morning! Why did I take an Exception Day? The reason why is I was scared of my fast today. I decided only to fast until lunchtime for at least the near term because the whole experience is so unsettling. Last night, I realized that I can't take Exception Days on Fast Days. I'm struggling to remember where I read it, but it was years ago and it was in some sort of literary work like Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. People took fasting very seriously. It was like Mass attendance today for those of us Catholics who believe there is a big dividing line between weekly Mass attendance and not. I don't think fasting will work unless I follow it on Wednesday and Friday morning with "perfect compliance", just like I learned the hard way that my Sunday "unconditional permission to eat" must be followed with "perfect compliance". The school has Mass this morning, so I'll go to communion, and I'm having coffee as usual, but I'm having nothing else. It almost seems like a sacred time.
I think there was something to prior Catholic practice of fasting that has been completely lost with the revised "portion control" approach to fasting, and I'm not quite sure how to even find out what was the practice or when it changed. I was going through my copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales but didn't come upon any discussion of fasting. I also ordered a book from the library which was written by John Henry Newman.
I seem to have a background attractive to employers because I'm certainly getting a lot of contact from recruiters. One of the positions for which I was submitted is at UnitedHealth Care. I'd love to work there. Yesterday, I listened to a Webinar by one of their subsidiaries, OptumHealth, about employer health and wellness programs. The company did a survey of 300 people who had lost at least 20 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. I had to laugh at that. When you're obese, a 20 pound weight loss isn't very impressive, but it just goes to show how rare it is for people to lose weight and keep it off. One of the points discussed was that the key factor for people was self-motivation -- some sort of trigger that gets them to lose weight. That was the case for me, back in January of 2004. I saw my then nine year old rush to the kitchen to eat food and thought that she was going down the path I had been down, and I didn't want that. Sadly, that nine year old is now 16 and overweight. I love her so much. When she was born, she completely changed my life. I would rather she be overweight or even obese for the rest of her life than to suffer the misery of constant "portion control". My motivation is to help her to lead a life of health.
Day 7 – Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0. I'm beginning to understand the enormous impact of fasting. Yesterday, I picked up Tom from swim team, stopped at Costco, and got him home just before 7. Then, instead of having dinner, I brought our two younger daughters with me to get their hair cut. It wasn't until almost 8:30 that I had dinner. I had no problem eating that late. Fasting seems to give me the flexibility to eat at different times. I don't feel as though I am constantly in a panic that I need food NOW!!! When I did eat last night, I ate a large bowl of a chicken and potato meal that I had cooked in the crock pot. I did not like the feeling of being overfull, and this morning I liked that feeling even less. Fasting seems to shift the feeling of normal fullness from where I used to feel comfortable (stuffed) to where I feel decidedly uncomfortable when I am stuffed and am not quite sure how much to eat in order to feel comfortable. I'm not sure how long it will take for the shift to occur so I can be of a normal weight, but I'm beginning to recognize that fasting is going to have a 24 X 7 impact on me even though I only plan to fast three mornings per week.
So much for the theory that it is very important to have breakfast every morning...
10 AM: The recruiter called to say that UnitedHealth will be setting up an interview with me. I am delighted! Meanwhile, I have spent part of this morning listening to a Webinar from OptumHealth, one of UnitedHealth's subsidiary companies, on how online programs can help with obesity. A prominent feature is the "portion sizer".
Lucky for me: the role of the business analyst is to be neutral -- in other words, if I work there, I will keep my mouth shut on my idea that portion control theory is a contributor to the obesity epidemic. I also spent some time looking up images of Kelly Brownell, the Director of Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University. It turns out that this guy isn't just overweight: he's very obese, possibly morbidly obese. Can you imagine having your job be to figure out the obesity epidemic and you yourself are grossly overweight?
My husband might well think there are 1,000 things a higher priority for me to do than to look up images of Kelly Brownell. It's time for me to get back to doing useful things. I'm applying for full time contract work now. When I start to work, I'll be swamped and won't have the luxury I now have of being a philosopher.
Day 8 – Friday, September 24, 2010: 199.4 I have an interview today with another recruiter, so I have to leave, but I did find reference to a fat friar and how he does not fast regularly which is why he is fat. It's in The Decameron, a book written just after the Black Plague in 1347-49. I need to find a book on the history of fasting regulations for Catholics, and I think I may have trouble locating such a book, but I think I'm on the right track that fasting is the way people used to stay slim. When I get a chance, I'll quote an entire paragraph from The Decameron. Fasting was such a part of everyday life that it was rarely mentioned except to point out that friars -- who should have been most rigorous -- proved that they weren't fasting when they were fat!
Here is a paragraph from the Third Story of the Seventh Day of Boccaccio's The Decameron: "But why do I ramble on about this Friar Rinaldo of ours? Is there a single one of these friars who behaves any differently? Ah, scandal of this corrupt and wicked world! It doesn't worry them in the least that they appear so fat and bloated, that a bright red glow suffuses their cheeks, that their clothes are smooth as velvet, and that in all their dealings they are so effeminate; yet they are anything but dovelike, for they strut about like so many proud peacocks with all their feathers on display. Furthermore, their cells are stuffed with jars filled with unguents and electuaries, with boxes full of various sweetmeats, with phials and bottles containing oils and liquid essences, and with casks brimming over with Malmsey and Greek and other precious wines, so that to any impartial observer they look more like scent shops or grocery stores than the cells of friars. But what is worse, they are not ashamed to admit that they suffer from gout, as though it were not widely known and recognized that regular fasting, a meagre and simple diet, and a sober way of life makes people lean and slender, and for the most part healthy. Or at least, if they produce infirmity, this does not take the form of gout, for which the remedy usually prescribed is continence and all other features of a humble friar's existence. Moreover, they think we are too stupid to realize that a frugal life, lengthy vigils, prayer and self-restraint ought to give to people a pale and drawn appearance, and that neither Saint Dominic nor Saint Francis had four cloaks apiece, or swaggered about in habits that were elegantly tailored and finely woven, but clad themselves in coarse woolen garments of a natural colour, made to keep out the cold. However, God will doubtless see that they, and the simple souls who keep them supplied with all these things, receive their just deserts."
12:15 PM: My interview with the recruiter went well, although he has no positions for which he could place me right now. We talked for over an hour, and it did not matter at all that I had not eaten. This time of fasting almost seems like a sacred time, a time set apart, although I am not changing at all what I am doing. There is a different internal perspective on what I am doing. It's almost more thoughtful. I think fasting may have more of an impact on a person in a non-physical way than it does physically even if it does result in the loss of a lot of weight. Time will tell. I can record my experience today but can only speculate on the effect tomorrow.
2 PM: My fast is over, I had a satisfying lunch, and now I'm having the two younger girls play after school with their classmates. It rained hard yesterday is sunny, so we'll go to a park. What is it that fasting changes? It certainly doesn't seem to change what I do. Instead, it seems to have a change in my outlook. "Portion control" seemed to create a constant panic -- I was always on the bring of binge eating because I felt so hungry and I was grumpy and I was obsessed with food. Now, I can focus on those two precious little girls of mine and their friends. There is delight in the every day.
I read once an article in the paper about exotic travels. Oh yes... I've been to Europe five times and had lots of experiences which could be the envy of others, but one of my fondest memories is of my now 11 year old daughter recognizing the meaning of one of the calls of the loon (Minnesota's state bird) as "Where are you? Where are you?" She has the wonder of a child.
I think fasting may create a feeling of gratitude for simple foods and simple pleasures. Even without fasting, I would have enjoyed this afternoon, but somehow fasting magnifies the ordinary into extraordinary pleasure. It's too soon for me to understand, but that's where I think I'm headed.
Day 9 – Saturday, September 25, 2010: 197.2 I normally get out of bed at 5:30 or so, even on weekends, but today I rolled out of bed at 8:30 AM. That explains my drop in weight. I think there is a big change with fasting, and I am going to try to understand and document it. The first big change I see is calm. I'm no longer in a panic about eating exactly on time. I'm not in a panic that I won't get what I want. My 16 year old and 9 year old just interrupted me about who gets to eat the leftover rice from a Chinese dinner last night. My 16 year old has been following The No S Diet for almost two years and has the addictive obsessive need for food now. I understand. The no-snacks rule helps with addiction to food, but -- without the one plate rule -- you never experience hunger.
Another effect of fasting seems to be patience. I can sometimes tune out the kids, but now I feel more of a patience in hearing their stories.
One of the books I was reading that was more than 50 years old and might indicate a different approach to eating was a book called Introduction to the Devout Life. In it there is a warning against excessive fasting. I think I can appreciate why people would fast excessively. There can be such positive feelings associated with fasting that you want to do more and more.
9 PM: If there was anyone who could understand the impact of fasting on me, it would be Tom. I tried to explain it, and he more or less said "eat less, exercise more." He said Catholic teaching was never meant to address obesity. I read to him a sentence from Introduction to the Devout Life: "Besides the usual effects of fasting, namely, elevating our spirits, keeping the body in subjection, practicing virtue, and gaining a greater reward in heaven, it is valuable for restraining gluttony and keeping our sensual appetites and body subject to the law of the spirit." (The Third Part, #23). I do not pretend to understand what this means. My only point was that fasting was viewed as a way to restrain gluttony. Tom said that fasting was meant for spiritual reasons which is why the author used the words "usual effect of fasting." I could agree with that, but it does seem to me that people saw that fasting was a way to address gluttony (physical effect) as well as to practice virtue (spiritual effect).
It is premature for me to open my mouth. In fact, the best argument would be the loss of weight. I need to wait. I need to see the effect of fasting and keep my mouth shut. I thought I should talk to Tom about it because he is my husband, but I don't need to say anything more. I will silently observe and write.
Day 10 – Sunday, September 26, 2010: 198.4. There is a beautiful line in Introduction to the Devout Life, which was attributed to St. Gregory Naziansen: "By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue" (The Third Part, #1). Is it possible that fasting can have an incredible effect on me and not just because I'm losing weight? I just don't know. All I'm really doing is skipping three breakfasts per week. Still, there does seem to be an impact from the resolve to carve out time when I do not eat. I woke up about 5 AM this morning and it felt different that this was a fast morning, even though I was awake before breakfast and went back to sleep after that. This is all a puzzle to me. I will describe it as best I can, but it doesn't really make sense to me at this point. I am following my normal routine and yet everything seems different.
9 PM: After lunch, I had a small Starbuck frappachino, about 1/2 cup ice cream, one of the individual cartons of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream, and several pieces of fudge. That was it. No dinner. No Haagen Dazs ice cream bar after dinner. Once again, I felt sick and had to go to bed. In fact, I wanted nothing to do with food. I didn't want to be around food. I had some milk and that's it. Why? Last week, I managed to get sick from several popcorn balls so I was careful to eat less this week, and still I overdosed. I think it's the fasting. This week, I will try to fast until 12:45 PM on Wednesday and Friday, an increase of 15 minutes from last week. I'm being very deliberate.
I also decided using 8 lb. weights was just too much for me, so I'm going to get 6 lb. weights. I also have changed my pedometer walking to just wearing it and recording my number of steps.
Day 11 – Monday, September 27, 2010: 199.2 After yesterday's experience, it's clear to me that fasting will work. It took me a long time to realize that I need to have regular intermittent experiences of hunger. This is far easier than a diet approach which promises unending experiences of hunger. I'm dialing back on my approach to ensure sustainability. Going from 5 lb. weights to 8 lb. weight was too hard for me, so I'm going back to 5 lb. weights and ordering 6 lb. weights online. I'll just fast until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays until I can adjust my eating on Sundays so that I don't feel sick from overeating. I'll track my steps but not have a goal for number of steps/day. This is a very conservative approach to weight management. I'm not worried about how long it takes me to lose weight. I'm focused on establishing a program which is easy to follow and results in permanent weight loss.
Day 12 – Tuesday, September 28, 2010: 199.6. I didn't get home last night until after 7 and was very hungry, so I ate a lot. That's the beauty of this diet. If I'm hungry, I eat a lot. This morning I was also hungry, so I ate before the kids got up instead of after the kids left for school. As a result, I did not have my oatmeal, which takes 1 1/2 hours to cook. I can listen to my body and eat as much as I want. All I need to do is wait for the time when I can eat. I think my thinking abiout this diet is over. I do want to do some research on John Henry Newman's views on fasting, especially after I looked on Amazon in the book previews and saw some references to Newman in a book on fasting. I bought a 6 lb. weight yesterday and did some of my exercises. I do think strengthening exercises are critical to the diet, whereas pedometer walking and oatmeal are helpful but not essential. It takes time to sort things out. My hope is that my October weight is at or below 198 so that I look upon my progress as being only 8 pounds behind my one pound per month goal.
1:40 PM: I just finished pained the hallway, and I am now going to eat. One effect of fasting is that I can be more flexible in the choice of mealtime. I didn't have to interrupt painting in order to have lunch during the noon hour.
Day 13 – Wednesday, September 29, 2010: Today is a Fast Day. I did better last night in anticipation of this fast day than I did last Tuesday when I ended up taking an Exception Day, but I still ate so much that I decided against stepping on the scale this morning. I may try lasting until 1 PM this afternoon before I have anything to eat. There is nothing on my calendar for today. I have not yet been called by UHG for an interview. Today, I will fill my day with housework, grocery shopping, and self study programs for Word and Visio 2007 which would help me in a job. I'll apply to one job on Craigslist. Jobhunting, I think, is inherently unpleasant, since you don't know if you will have any benefit from the work you put into it. As a result, I'm limiting my jobhunting time and filling most of my day with tasks that do have a payback. My husband would prefer a well-run household and well-cared-for kids to a little extra money, so I'm in a good position to take my time in finding a job. Still, I'd prefer working to being home.
As for this diet, I don't know that there is much more to do than to follow it and wait to see the results. I can tweak it somewhat, but the core is to not eat at all for at least 12 hours three days per week, to have "unconditional permission to eat" on Sunday afternoons and evenings, and to do strengthening exercises three times per week. Tracking Exception Days simply keeps me honest in not taking an Exception Day where not needed. It's going to be boring to just wait and see what happens, like standing before a pot waiting for water to boil, but that's what I think I need to do right now. When I was waiting for water for pasta to boil last night, I took the dog for a walk. Maybe I need to focus on other things for a few months to see what results from this addition of strength training and fasting to the diet I was following for the last year. I bet there is some weight loss, but I'm just not sure how much.
9 AM: I think I understand why fasting works. I now have the pleasant feeling of being slightly -- ever so slightly -- hungry. When you are dieting all the time and restricting the amount of food you take in, the feeling of hunger is to be feared because it's what precedes the end-of-diet binge. With fasting, there is no such fear because I can eat as much as I want as soon as the fast ends.
1 PM: I decided to eat at 12:45 PM and will stick with that time for this week and next week. Meanwhile, I'm listening to an OptumHealth Webinar on the health and wellness coaching. There is something called the model for change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. What I like about this model is that the approach is to create sustainable lifestyle changes that benefit health. The approach is also very respectful of the consumer. The goal is to provide information and allow the consumer to make the decision regarding choice of provider, treatment option, etc. I, of course, have been doing the strengthening exercises while listening to this Webinar.
Day 14 – Thursday, September 30, 2010: 198.8. School conferences and Take Your Parent to School day today... It's time for me to stop analyzing this diet and just follow it and see what happens...
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:38 am, edited 98 times in total.
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
It sounds like you're doing great, and the habits you're working on cultivating sound like they can definitely be sustained for life. I found Strong Women Stay Slim in a thrift store the other day, and I just started reading it. It's definitely a good book! I've been strength training for a long time, so for me, the book is a good reminder to continue to focus on strength training (and to keep improving in my exercising) as I get older.
clarinetgirl,
Thanks for the encouragement! My husband was after me this weekend because he thinks the diet is a failure. I think I missed out on a very important habit to cultivate: strength training. I can already feel a little muscle under all that fat in my upper arm. And, while I didn't have a pedometer on, I still took the dog for two walks yesterday. I think strength training helps with energy level so there is a desire to be active. If this works, it would be great. If not, well, I'll go on to something else.
Kathleen
Thanks for the encouragement! My husband was after me this weekend because he thinks the diet is a failure. I think I missed out on a very important habit to cultivate: strength training. I can already feel a little muscle under all that fat in my upper arm. And, while I didn't have a pedometer on, I still took the dog for two walks yesterday. I think strength training helps with energy level so there is a desire to be active. If this works, it would be great. If not, well, I'll go on to something else.
Kathleen
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clarinetgal
- Posts: 1709
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:16 am
- Location: Western Washington State
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
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The one-day-at-a-time modification reflects my own philosophy,Kathleen wrote: I'm tossing the idea of "perfect compliance" in favor of "one day at a time".
I'll do my best today and not worry about anything else.
and so, of course, I think it is a very good idea.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
Some habits are good to develop with an eye toward "perfect compliance". I view fidelity that way: there's no middle ground. I also view brushing your teeth that way. If you can learn to brush your teeth wtihout thinking about it, you are more likely to brush your teeth every morning and evening.
Last month, when we were camping, my two younger children came to me and asked, "Mom, why is it so important to brush your teeth when you are camping but it isn't when you are home?" The reason, of course, is that I have to take them to the camp bathrooms but they can walk to the bathroom at home themselves. I thought they had developed the habit of brushing their teeth.
Now I ask them: "Did you brush your teeth?" This morning we had to turn around from the car ride to school and come home so the youngest could brush her teeth.
What does this have to do with eating? Not much. There are many variables involved in when to eat. There aren't many involved in when to brush teeth.
I realize that I came up with poor analogies. I can build a habit without following it perfectly.
Some lessons are learned the hard way.
Kathleen
Some habits are good to develop with an eye toward "perfect compliance". I view fidelity that way: there's no middle ground. I also view brushing your teeth that way. If you can learn to brush your teeth wtihout thinking about it, you are more likely to brush your teeth every morning and evening.
Last month, when we were camping, my two younger children came to me and asked, "Mom, why is it so important to brush your teeth when you are camping but it isn't when you are home?" The reason, of course, is that I have to take them to the camp bathrooms but they can walk to the bathroom at home themselves. I thought they had developed the habit of brushing their teeth.
Now I ask them: "Did you brush your teeth?" This morning we had to turn around from the car ride to school and come home so the youngest could brush her teeth.
What does this have to do with eating? Not much. There are many variables involved in when to eat. There aren't many involved in when to brush teeth.
I realize that I came up with poor analogies. I can build a habit without following it perfectly.
Some lessons are learned the hard way.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, Thanks for the Quote.Kathleen wrote: The Decameron.... as though it were not widely known and recognized that
regular fasting, a meagre and simple diet, and a sober way of life
makes people lean and slender, and for the most part healthy.
I'm going to copy it from you.
So...it looks like in the 14th Century, it was commonly known
that to be "lean", "slender" and "for the most part healthy"
requires the following behavior:
- 1. regular fasting
2. portion control (meagre diet), and
3. food quality control (simple diet).
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
I think that regular fasting might automatically result in eating less at other times. I am in complete agreement with you that calories do count and that you cannot expect to lose weight unless you eat less. What I am trying to do is figure out a way to eat less without exercising any sort of portion control. Is it possible that regular fasting results in finding it unplesaant to overeat?
In other words:
1. Regular fasting leads to:
2. A meagre and simple diet and
3. A sober way of life.
I am an experiment of one! I'm only going to fast, and I'll see if automatically there is portion control and food quality control.
Kathleen
I think that regular fasting might automatically result in eating less at other times. I am in complete agreement with you that calories do count and that you cannot expect to lose weight unless you eat less. What I am trying to do is figure out a way to eat less without exercising any sort of portion control. Is it possible that regular fasting results in finding it unplesaant to overeat?
In other words:
1. Regular fasting leads to:
2. A meagre and simple diet and
3. A sober way of life.
I am an experiment of one! I'm only going to fast, and I'll see if automatically there is portion control and food quality control.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
I wish you Good luck with that.Kathleen wrote:I think that regular fasting might automatically result in eating less at other times.
What I am trying to do is figure out a way to eat less without exercising any sort of portion control.
Is it possible that regular fasting results in finding it unplesaant to overeat?
In other words: Will regular fasting lead to:
A meagre and simple diet and a sober way of life.
I've spent quite a lot of fasting time in my life, and its never happened for me.
I doubt I could have achieved that result
even if I had chosen to spend all of those days on my knees in prayer.
Although going without food for a time can temporarily shrink one's appetite,
when it returns it brings along its friends.
In eating disorder circles the term "binge/fast cycle" is commonly used
because fasting for weight-loss frequently leads to serious bingeing behavior.
It's good to have Hope,
and it's good to Experiment with different things,
but it is important not to lose sight of the Truth.
There really is no easy way.
As a Catholic, so might be familiar with the quote "Take up my Cross and Follow Me".
Ultimately you might need to look at portion control
as the cross you're going to have to take up if you want to have a normal weight body.
Someone here on the forum recently said something wise
when they suggested to you that perhaps your problem isn't actually portion control,
but instead is what you keep telling yourself about portion control.
I know for a fact that
if you can change your Thoughts..which create your attitudes and beliefs about portion control,
you will be able to can change your Emotions...i.e. eliminate your aversion to it,
and also your Behaviors...i.e. put it into practice.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I'm very familiar with fast/binge, as I bet you can imagine! This isn't the same thing. I'm fasting for a specified period of time and then I'm done. Right now, out of extreme caution, I am only fasting until 12:30 PM. This isn't likely to result in a binge especially if you know you can eat as much as you want at meals. For lunch today, I had a peanut butter sandwich with a slice of cheese, an apple, some almonds and two glasses of milk. How many calories would that be? I'll try to calculate: two pieces of bread (320), 3 T peanut butter (300), 2 glasses 2% milk (260), a slice of cheese (55), an apple (80), and 1/4 cup almonds (125). That adds up to 790 calories. I'm quite satisfied. Now, am I going to lose weight eating this much? Well, I certainly won't be thin eating this much. What I need to do is figure out how much I need to fast in order to be thin. If I fasted all the time, of course, I'd die of starvation. If I fast this little, I'll still be fat. Somewhere between 37 hours per week of fasting (until noon on Sunday and until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays) and 168 hours per week of fasting could be the answer.
I realize I am toying with potential consequences of falling back into diet/binge behavior, which is why I am proceeding with caution.
As always, your thoughtful comments help me as I explore the possibility of following a way of eating that leads to being thin but does not involve portion control.
Look on Google for an image of Kelly Brownell, Director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University. Most people cannot stand portion control long-term, and I'm one of them. I bet Kelly Brownell is, too. Can you imagine the humiliation of having this prestigious job trying to understand the obesity epidemic when you yourself are obese?
Kathleen
I'm very familiar with fast/binge, as I bet you can imagine! This isn't the same thing. I'm fasting for a specified period of time and then I'm done. Right now, out of extreme caution, I am only fasting until 12:30 PM. This isn't likely to result in a binge especially if you know you can eat as much as you want at meals. For lunch today, I had a peanut butter sandwich with a slice of cheese, an apple, some almonds and two glasses of milk. How many calories would that be? I'll try to calculate: two pieces of bread (320), 3 T peanut butter (300), 2 glasses 2% milk (260), a slice of cheese (55), an apple (80), and 1/4 cup almonds (125). That adds up to 790 calories. I'm quite satisfied. Now, am I going to lose weight eating this much? Well, I certainly won't be thin eating this much. What I need to do is figure out how much I need to fast in order to be thin. If I fasted all the time, of course, I'd die of starvation. If I fast this little, I'll still be fat. Somewhere between 37 hours per week of fasting (until noon on Sunday and until 12:30 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays) and 168 hours per week of fasting could be the answer.
I realize I am toying with potential consequences of falling back into diet/binge behavior, which is why I am proceeding with caution.
As always, your thoughtful comments help me as I explore the possibility of following a way of eating that leads to being thin but does not involve portion control.
Look on Google for an image of Kelly Brownell, Director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University. Most people cannot stand portion control long-term, and I'm one of them. I bet Kelly Brownell is, too. Can you imagine the humiliation of having this prestigious job trying to understand the obesity epidemic when you yourself are obese?
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Thanks for sharing these quotes.Kathleen wrote:...a sentence from Introduction to the Devout Life:
"Besides the usual effects of fasting, namely, elevating our spirits, keeping the body in subjection, practicing virtue, and gaining a greater reward in heaven, it is valuable for restraining gluttony and keeping our sensual appetites and body subject to the law of the spirit." (The Third Part, #23).
There is a beautiful line in Introduction to the Devout Life, which was attributed to St. Gregory Naziansen:
"By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue" (The Third Part, #1).
They contain concepts that are worth consideration.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
October, 2010: The Glutton’s Diet
I am a glutton: I want to eat as much as I want of whatever I want whenever I want. Since that is who I am, how can I lose weight and keep it off?
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds.
Now I view willpower as the means to establish habits that are sustainable for life. “Portion control†necessarily means eating less than you want, so it necessarily requires willpower rather than habit. As a result, “portion control†is not part of my diet. For my diet, I cultivate these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on Sunday afternoons and evenings: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" from about 11:30 AM (after church) until midnight every Sunday. This part of the diet appeals to the glutton in me. All week, I can look forward to Sunday afternoon, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month when I have “unconditional permission to eatâ€. The Exception Days allow me the flexibility to follow the diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. I only eat sweets on an average of six days per month, so I have a lower tolerance for sweets: if I eat a lot of sweets, I tend to feel sick.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until after church (about 11:30 AM) or noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast involves the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which both the Atkins diet and fasting are described as creating an effect of mild hunger due to the severe restriction of carbohydrates. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. I also know that, when I do eat, I will eat to complete satisfaction.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
The Glutton's Diet:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0: (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 9 pounds)
(Month 2) Day 15: Friday, October 1, 2010: 198.6 (Goal of 190 pounds: behind schedule by 8.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 1 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 3.
Day 15 – Friday, October 1, 2010: 198.6. Parents are supposed to be silent observers at Take Your Parent to School Today. It was really hard for me to be silent in Civics. There was a short film about bullying in which a 6th grade boy was interviewed about bullying. This boy said that he needs to be accepted "for who I am." That little 90 second clip inspired me to change my diet name to The Glutton's Diet. "Who we are" is not necessarily OK. I can say I'm fat and I need to accept that I'm fat, or I can form and follow habits that result in my not being fat. John Paul II once said, "We become what we do."
With weight loss, I am quite confident that the gullible masses are being educated into obesity because of the unrealistic view that most people can stay slim by following a program of "portion control." I looked around at the State Fair this year and just gasped at the number of people who were very large. Are these all people who have said "This is who I am"? No, I don't think so. Most people who are heavy, I think, have at least tried to lose weight, and that's good. The problem is that the program being recommended (at heart for almost all diets, including The Mayo Clinic Diet, it is a program of "portion control") is one which triggers a primal drive to avoid starvation.
I'm still obese. Who am I to say? All I can do is observe. Yesterday morning, I had about 1/2 of the oatmeal that I usually have because I just didn't want more. I looked at what I took and thought to myself: "I wonder if my decreased appetite is due to Wednesday's fast." I don't know. I can only speculate.
Fasting does seem to provide me with some inner strength. I was called by the recruiter yesterday about the interview at UHG, and she said that there appears to be a delay and she's not sure I will be called to interview. Meanwhile, I've been submitted to three other places, but I am starting to realize that the recruiters are chasing what I'm beginning to call "phantom jobs". In other words, the recruiters have talked with managers who have a need but no budget to hire someone. Since I haven't jobhunted in forever, I'm finding this whole experience frustrating, to say the least. Fasting somehow strengthens me: I'm not taking it so hard. Jobhunting for months and months must be really hard: I've only just started, but I thought a job would fall in my lap like it has the last two times. That's OK. It's a big relief to me now to see that fasting will result in my losing weight while not having to fight my primal drive to eat enough to survive. I wouldn't say I'm happy. It's more that I'm relieved: it's like finally being able to take off a backpack after a long hike. This long hike has been more than 30 years in the making, since I started dieting as a 17 year old.
12:45 PM: I just am finishing my fast, and now I can eat! The beauty of this diet is that I can eat as much as I want when I do eat. There's no measuring, no calorie counting, no judging hunger level, nothing... I eat as much as I want of anything except sweets. On Sunday afternoon, I can add sweets.
Day 16 – Saturday, October 2, 2010: 198.4 Exception Day The irritating thing about tracking weight closely is that weight can go up. My weight was lower one week ago today. I look back in my calendar and see that my weight has been up and down in the weight range of 196 - 200+ for 18 months, except when it crept lower due to a broken scale. Am I going to break the 190 pound barrier? Yesterday, my husband said he'd believe I really had lost weight if I get below 175 and stay there for a year. It will take at least a month before I see if there is an impact from fasting on my weight, and I am extremely impatient. This has been going on so long that I am tempted to go back to calorie counting except I know absolutely positively that calorie counting is short term success only. My goal for the month is 190 pounds, and I am 8+ pounds above that goal. My goal for next month is 189 pounds, and I hope to be 7 pounds at most above that goal. That means that I hope to be at or below 196 by the beginning of November. Slow and permanent beats quick and unsustainable anytime, but the problem is that I'm not sure if I am on slow or stop with this approach. I have to wait, and I am impatient!!
Day 17 – Sunday, October 3, 2010: 200.2 I have no interest whatsoever in my afternoon and evening of "unconditional permission to eat" because I don't feel so great this morning. Why? I ate too much yesterday. I had one sweet, the leftover Haagen Dazs bar from last Sunday. I figured that I had overdosed on sweets last week. Yesterday's experience indicates to me that fasting makes overeating a sickening experience. It's bariactic surgery without the surgery.
7:30 AM: I am so concerned about overeating and getting sick again that I think I'll switch to having Exception Events only. Since I am eating to complete satisfaction at every meal, any food eaten above and beyond that tends to me more than I need. One Exception Event per Sunday and Exception Day should be enough to be pleasing but not so much that I end up sick. Tom was traveling all week this week, from Monday through Friday, and I was sick last Sunday and yesterday. That's not fair to him. I may eventually learn my lesson by not changing my diet, but in the interim I would be hurting my family. It's a matter of priorities. I think that there isn't much left to be said about this diet: it has the effect of making you sick if you overeat, and that is all you need to lose weight.
10 AM: Tom and I went out to coffee, and he told me that there are people who get drunk every Saturday night, have a terrible hangover on Sunday morning, and vow not to drink too much the next Saturday but do. He was comparing my eating habits to this and did not expect a change. I was aghast. He's got a point. I've been getting sick from overeating for two years. I think I need to look upon this as a call to change to having Exception Events only. I don't think I'd miss overeating or getting sick. Life is too short to be stuck in this hamster wheel.
Day 18 – Monday, October 4, 2010: 200.0 I ended up giving myself "unconditional permission to eat" after dinner. Looking back, I realize that I have gradually decreased the amount of time per week that is designated as "unconditional permission to eat". I started out with 100% of the time this way when I dived into Intuitive Eating on 12/15/07. I cut back to Saturdays, Sundays, and two Exception Days per month (about 10 days per month) when I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08. I cut back to Saturdays and two Exception Days per month (about 6 days per month) in about May of 2009. Now I'm working on Sundays. I cut out Sunday mornings just this summer, and now I'll cut out Sunday afternoons. That's enough for now.
7:40 AM: Ugh... I'm poured into some jeans while waiting for another pair to go through the wash. I have an upset stomach from the volume I consumed afer dinner -- cheese, extra cake, etc. Dare I give up "unconditional permission to eat" right now? I think that would be good. What I can do is structure my diet so that the focus is how often I eat rather than how much I eat. I was back looking through Introduction to the Devout Life, since that seems to be the only book I can locate that deals with the everyday life of the non-religious prior to 1900. I found another interesting discussion of eating: "People of honor never think of eating except when they sit down at the table" (The Third Part, #39). Now why would that be? The culture did not have constant grazing. The problem that I think our culture has is that food is everywhere and is eaten anytime. I've learned to tune out this food for the most part, and now I need to close off the last loopholes. What I can do is have Exception Events (one additional eating time, and I can eat anything) on each Sunday plus two Exception Days per month.
7 PM: Exception Day. I recognize a pattern here. I made several attempts before figuring out fasting, and I made several attempts before giving up Saturday as a day of "unconditional permission to eat." What happened to me know is I overstepped what I am capable of doing today. That's OK: I learned. What I think I should do is focus on having "unconditional permission to eat" from dinner until midnight on Sundays rather than have Exception Events. Eventually, I'll eliminate "unconditional permisison to eat" times, but I still need them.
Day 19 – Tuesday, October 5, 2010: I did not weigh myself today because I thought I would be too upset. I called my diet The Glutton's Diet as a joke, but maybe there is truth to it. I think that it would be good for me to continue decreasing the time allocated to "unconditional permission to eat". Sunday after dinner is, I think, manageable for me at this point. When I started The No S Diet, I needed both Saturday and Sunday. Catholics used to have Feast Days, the most widely known of which was Mardi Gras, the day before Lent began. I would like to figure out Catholic eating patterns from 500 or so years ago. There's got to be a book somewhere on the topic. Yesterday, I talked to a recruiter who actually had a real job opportunity, so maybe I'll meet with him today. When I do get a job, my investigating will end until next summer because I will be very busy.
11 AM: It has occurred to me in the past -- and it is occurring to me now -- that perhaps my focus on eating is part of the problem. I go back to what was said in Introduction to the Devout Life about how people of honor only think about food at mealtime. At least for the next month, I'll focus on only having "unconditional permission to eat" after dinner on Sunday and then one other time because I only have one Exception Day left. I'll also do strengthening exercises. That should be enough of a challenge. There's no need to record my thoughts on everything, and in fact it's rather self-involved. There's a whole world out there, so much more than eating and food. It's a beautiful fall day, and I'm here typing on the computer procrastinating on housework. I will try once again to only update once per month, which means I won't write again until November. I'll even try not weighing myself except for once per month. My focus needs to be on my family, friends, work, house... not my diet!!!
Day 19 – Tuesday, October 5, 2010: Excception Event last night. So much for not writing... I'm interviewing today for a job downtown. If I get it, I'll be so swamped that it might be hard to find the time to floss my teeth! Now is the time to figure out my diet approach. I tried what I have thought was a necessary part of managing my weight, which is the "controlled binge." Having an all-day binge results in a stomach ache. How would a binge limited to a certain period of time work? Well, it seems to work fine, although I am now all out of Exception Events. I think I will define an Exception Event not as one additional meal (everything has to be before me before I take one bite) but rather as a period of time between meals. Last night's Exception Event, for example, was after dinner. The limited period of time makes it so that I am unlikely to get a stomach ache, and I did not have one last night or this morning.
Today is a Fast Day, and I don't think I'll have any problem foregoing food before or during the interview. I am learning that I can function just fine without food, at least for a period of time.
2:15 PM: I met the recruiter at 11 AM and left at 12:45 PM. I then came home and made some minor changes to my resume. This recruiter really worked with me on interviewing skills. I appear to have a really good fit for this position, and I think I'd enjoy it although it is in financial services rather than healthcare. Meanwhile, I have not eaten since last night, and I have a dog who has not had a walk and is staring at me. Do I need to eat first? No. I think I'm going to start now with the old Catholic tradition of fasting until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays.
8 PM: I ended up eating lunch at about 2:30 because the two younger kids get home at 3, and I didn't want to be eating in front of them. I took my son and a friend to a caddy dinner tonight. It was very nice, but it was also easy to just breeze by the desserts. When I got home, I wanted to eat. Instead, I'm going to bed. This pattern of fasting is simply a habit I need to develop and nothing more. I did fine all day.
Day 20 - Wednesday, October 9, 2010: 200.6 I stepped on the scale this morning and thought "hamster wheel." After three Exception Days in less than a week, I wasn't surprised that I was solidly above 200 pounds this morning. I like the changes I've made to the diet -- stretching my fast to midafternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and limiting my Excpetion Day to an Exception Event of only an hour or two. We'll see how this goes. I'm impressed by the fact that people tend to stall out at an 8 - 10% weight loss, and I'm at 7 - 8% weight loss.
7:45 AM: I found a calculator and determined that, at 200.6, I've actually lost 9.3% of my body weight from my start at 215 pounds. I think stretching out when I eat is the key. It's not how much I eat but when. That sounds absurd, of course. Why does it matter when you eat if you eat as much? The answer is simple: if you delay when you eat, you eventually eat less. Delaying to mealtime, as with The No S Diet, was insufficient to get me to an acceptable weight. Of course, The No S Diet includes a portion control limit of one plateful, which I've not followed. Which would I prefer? One plateful at meals or fasting to midafternoon two days per week? The answer is fasting. The question is: Will I more weight if I add fasting? Time will tell. I don't know.
9:45 AM: I'm taking a break from jobhunting and volunteering in first grade reading groups this morning. Life is a matter of setting priorities and following them. I have spent so much time on weight loss that it is pathetic, but it has done a lot to hurt my life. Now what? It is an experiment to add fasting, and what I most need to do now is wait, wait, wait, and see the results. I ordered a book on the history of fasting from Amazon.
I am a glutton: I want to eat as much as I want of whatever I want whenever I want. Since that is who I am, how can I lose weight and keep it off?
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds.
Now I view willpower as the means to establish habits that are sustainable for life. “Portion control†necessarily means eating less than you want, so it necessarily requires willpower rather than habit. As a result, “portion control†is not part of my diet. For my diet, I cultivate these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on Sunday afternoons and evenings: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" from about 11:30 AM (after church) until midnight every Sunday. This part of the diet appeals to the glutton in me. All week, I can look forward to Sunday afternoon, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month when I have “unconditional permission to eatâ€. The Exception Days allow me the flexibility to follow the diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort.
3. Eliminate snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen. When I was following conventional diets, I felt hungry all the time. Now I rarely think about food between meals because I only eat between meals on Sundays and Exception Days. I “tune out†hunger signals outside of mealtime. At each meal, I can eat as much as I want, but everything must be in front of me before I take one bite. I only eat sweets on an average of six days per month, so I have a lower tolerance for sweets: if I eat a lot of sweets, I tend to feel sick.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until after church (about 11:30 AM) or noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast involves the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which both the Atkins diet and fasting are described as creating an effect of mild hunger due to the severe restriction of carbohydrates. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. I also know that, when I do eat, I will eat to complete satisfaction.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
The Glutton's Diet:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, September 23, 2010: 200.0: (Goal of 191 pounds: behind schedule by 9 pounds)
(Month 2) Day 15: Friday, October 1, 2010: 198.6 (Goal of 190 pounds: behind schedule by 8.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 1 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 3.
Day 15 – Friday, October 1, 2010: 198.6. Parents are supposed to be silent observers at Take Your Parent to School Today. It was really hard for me to be silent in Civics. There was a short film about bullying in which a 6th grade boy was interviewed about bullying. This boy said that he needs to be accepted "for who I am." That little 90 second clip inspired me to change my diet name to The Glutton's Diet. "Who we are" is not necessarily OK. I can say I'm fat and I need to accept that I'm fat, or I can form and follow habits that result in my not being fat. John Paul II once said, "We become what we do."
With weight loss, I am quite confident that the gullible masses are being educated into obesity because of the unrealistic view that most people can stay slim by following a program of "portion control." I looked around at the State Fair this year and just gasped at the number of people who were very large. Are these all people who have said "This is who I am"? No, I don't think so. Most people who are heavy, I think, have at least tried to lose weight, and that's good. The problem is that the program being recommended (at heart for almost all diets, including The Mayo Clinic Diet, it is a program of "portion control") is one which triggers a primal drive to avoid starvation.
I'm still obese. Who am I to say? All I can do is observe. Yesterday morning, I had about 1/2 of the oatmeal that I usually have because I just didn't want more. I looked at what I took and thought to myself: "I wonder if my decreased appetite is due to Wednesday's fast." I don't know. I can only speculate.
Fasting does seem to provide me with some inner strength. I was called by the recruiter yesterday about the interview at UHG, and she said that there appears to be a delay and she's not sure I will be called to interview. Meanwhile, I've been submitted to three other places, but I am starting to realize that the recruiters are chasing what I'm beginning to call "phantom jobs". In other words, the recruiters have talked with managers who have a need but no budget to hire someone. Since I haven't jobhunted in forever, I'm finding this whole experience frustrating, to say the least. Fasting somehow strengthens me: I'm not taking it so hard. Jobhunting for months and months must be really hard: I've only just started, but I thought a job would fall in my lap like it has the last two times. That's OK. It's a big relief to me now to see that fasting will result in my losing weight while not having to fight my primal drive to eat enough to survive. I wouldn't say I'm happy. It's more that I'm relieved: it's like finally being able to take off a backpack after a long hike. This long hike has been more than 30 years in the making, since I started dieting as a 17 year old.
12:45 PM: I just am finishing my fast, and now I can eat! The beauty of this diet is that I can eat as much as I want when I do eat. There's no measuring, no calorie counting, no judging hunger level, nothing... I eat as much as I want of anything except sweets. On Sunday afternoon, I can add sweets.
Day 16 – Saturday, October 2, 2010: 198.4 Exception Day The irritating thing about tracking weight closely is that weight can go up. My weight was lower one week ago today. I look back in my calendar and see that my weight has been up and down in the weight range of 196 - 200+ for 18 months, except when it crept lower due to a broken scale. Am I going to break the 190 pound barrier? Yesterday, my husband said he'd believe I really had lost weight if I get below 175 and stay there for a year. It will take at least a month before I see if there is an impact from fasting on my weight, and I am extremely impatient. This has been going on so long that I am tempted to go back to calorie counting except I know absolutely positively that calorie counting is short term success only. My goal for the month is 190 pounds, and I am 8+ pounds above that goal. My goal for next month is 189 pounds, and I hope to be 7 pounds at most above that goal. That means that I hope to be at or below 196 by the beginning of November. Slow and permanent beats quick and unsustainable anytime, but the problem is that I'm not sure if I am on slow or stop with this approach. I have to wait, and I am impatient!!
Day 17 – Sunday, October 3, 2010: 200.2 I have no interest whatsoever in my afternoon and evening of "unconditional permission to eat" because I don't feel so great this morning. Why? I ate too much yesterday. I had one sweet, the leftover Haagen Dazs bar from last Sunday. I figured that I had overdosed on sweets last week. Yesterday's experience indicates to me that fasting makes overeating a sickening experience. It's bariactic surgery without the surgery.
7:30 AM: I am so concerned about overeating and getting sick again that I think I'll switch to having Exception Events only. Since I am eating to complete satisfaction at every meal, any food eaten above and beyond that tends to me more than I need. One Exception Event per Sunday and Exception Day should be enough to be pleasing but not so much that I end up sick. Tom was traveling all week this week, from Monday through Friday, and I was sick last Sunday and yesterday. That's not fair to him. I may eventually learn my lesson by not changing my diet, but in the interim I would be hurting my family. It's a matter of priorities. I think that there isn't much left to be said about this diet: it has the effect of making you sick if you overeat, and that is all you need to lose weight.
10 AM: Tom and I went out to coffee, and he told me that there are people who get drunk every Saturday night, have a terrible hangover on Sunday morning, and vow not to drink too much the next Saturday but do. He was comparing my eating habits to this and did not expect a change. I was aghast. He's got a point. I've been getting sick from overeating for two years. I think I need to look upon this as a call to change to having Exception Events only. I don't think I'd miss overeating or getting sick. Life is too short to be stuck in this hamster wheel.
Day 18 – Monday, October 4, 2010: 200.0 I ended up giving myself "unconditional permission to eat" after dinner. Looking back, I realize that I have gradually decreased the amount of time per week that is designated as "unconditional permission to eat". I started out with 100% of the time this way when I dived into Intuitive Eating on 12/15/07. I cut back to Saturdays, Sundays, and two Exception Days per month (about 10 days per month) when I started The No S Diet on 9/8/08. I cut back to Saturdays and two Exception Days per month (about 6 days per month) in about May of 2009. Now I'm working on Sundays. I cut out Sunday mornings just this summer, and now I'll cut out Sunday afternoons. That's enough for now.
7:40 AM: Ugh... I'm poured into some jeans while waiting for another pair to go through the wash. I have an upset stomach from the volume I consumed afer dinner -- cheese, extra cake, etc. Dare I give up "unconditional permission to eat" right now? I think that would be good. What I can do is structure my diet so that the focus is how often I eat rather than how much I eat. I was back looking through Introduction to the Devout Life, since that seems to be the only book I can locate that deals with the everyday life of the non-religious prior to 1900. I found another interesting discussion of eating: "People of honor never think of eating except when they sit down at the table" (The Third Part, #39). Now why would that be? The culture did not have constant grazing. The problem that I think our culture has is that food is everywhere and is eaten anytime. I've learned to tune out this food for the most part, and now I need to close off the last loopholes. What I can do is have Exception Events (one additional eating time, and I can eat anything) on each Sunday plus two Exception Days per month.
7 PM: Exception Day. I recognize a pattern here. I made several attempts before figuring out fasting, and I made several attempts before giving up Saturday as a day of "unconditional permission to eat." What happened to me know is I overstepped what I am capable of doing today. That's OK: I learned. What I think I should do is focus on having "unconditional permission to eat" from dinner until midnight on Sundays rather than have Exception Events. Eventually, I'll eliminate "unconditional permisison to eat" times, but I still need them.
Day 19 – Tuesday, October 5, 2010: I did not weigh myself today because I thought I would be too upset. I called my diet The Glutton's Diet as a joke, but maybe there is truth to it. I think that it would be good for me to continue decreasing the time allocated to "unconditional permission to eat". Sunday after dinner is, I think, manageable for me at this point. When I started The No S Diet, I needed both Saturday and Sunday. Catholics used to have Feast Days, the most widely known of which was Mardi Gras, the day before Lent began. I would like to figure out Catholic eating patterns from 500 or so years ago. There's got to be a book somewhere on the topic. Yesterday, I talked to a recruiter who actually had a real job opportunity, so maybe I'll meet with him today. When I do get a job, my investigating will end until next summer because I will be very busy.
11 AM: It has occurred to me in the past -- and it is occurring to me now -- that perhaps my focus on eating is part of the problem. I go back to what was said in Introduction to the Devout Life about how people of honor only think about food at mealtime. At least for the next month, I'll focus on only having "unconditional permission to eat" after dinner on Sunday and then one other time because I only have one Exception Day left. I'll also do strengthening exercises. That should be enough of a challenge. There's no need to record my thoughts on everything, and in fact it's rather self-involved. There's a whole world out there, so much more than eating and food. It's a beautiful fall day, and I'm here typing on the computer procrastinating on housework. I will try once again to only update once per month, which means I won't write again until November. I'll even try not weighing myself except for once per month. My focus needs to be on my family, friends, work, house... not my diet!!!
Day 19 – Tuesday, October 5, 2010: Excception Event last night. So much for not writing... I'm interviewing today for a job downtown. If I get it, I'll be so swamped that it might be hard to find the time to floss my teeth! Now is the time to figure out my diet approach. I tried what I have thought was a necessary part of managing my weight, which is the "controlled binge." Having an all-day binge results in a stomach ache. How would a binge limited to a certain period of time work? Well, it seems to work fine, although I am now all out of Exception Events. I think I will define an Exception Event not as one additional meal (everything has to be before me before I take one bite) but rather as a period of time between meals. Last night's Exception Event, for example, was after dinner. The limited period of time makes it so that I am unlikely to get a stomach ache, and I did not have one last night or this morning.
Today is a Fast Day, and I don't think I'll have any problem foregoing food before or during the interview. I am learning that I can function just fine without food, at least for a period of time.
2:15 PM: I met the recruiter at 11 AM and left at 12:45 PM. I then came home and made some minor changes to my resume. This recruiter really worked with me on interviewing skills. I appear to have a really good fit for this position, and I think I'd enjoy it although it is in financial services rather than healthcare. Meanwhile, I have not eaten since last night, and I have a dog who has not had a walk and is staring at me. Do I need to eat first? No. I think I'm going to start now with the old Catholic tradition of fasting until 3 PM on Wednesdays and Fridays.
8 PM: I ended up eating lunch at about 2:30 because the two younger kids get home at 3, and I didn't want to be eating in front of them. I took my son and a friend to a caddy dinner tonight. It was very nice, but it was also easy to just breeze by the desserts. When I got home, I wanted to eat. Instead, I'm going to bed. This pattern of fasting is simply a habit I need to develop and nothing more. I did fine all day.
Day 20 - Wednesday, October 9, 2010: 200.6 I stepped on the scale this morning and thought "hamster wheel." After three Exception Days in less than a week, I wasn't surprised that I was solidly above 200 pounds this morning. I like the changes I've made to the diet -- stretching my fast to midafternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and limiting my Excpetion Day to an Exception Event of only an hour or two. We'll see how this goes. I'm impressed by the fact that people tend to stall out at an 8 - 10% weight loss, and I'm at 7 - 8% weight loss.
7:45 AM: I found a calculator and determined that, at 200.6, I've actually lost 9.3% of my body weight from my start at 215 pounds. I think stretching out when I eat is the key. It's not how much I eat but when. That sounds absurd, of course. Why does it matter when you eat if you eat as much? The answer is simple: if you delay when you eat, you eventually eat less. Delaying to mealtime, as with The No S Diet, was insufficient to get me to an acceptable weight. Of course, The No S Diet includes a portion control limit of one plateful, which I've not followed. Which would I prefer? One plateful at meals or fasting to midafternoon two days per week? The answer is fasting. The question is: Will I more weight if I add fasting? Time will tell. I don't know.
9:45 AM: I'm taking a break from jobhunting and volunteering in first grade reading groups this morning. Life is a matter of setting priorities and following them. I have spent so much time on weight loss that it is pathetic, but it has done a lot to hurt my life. Now what? It is an experiment to add fasting, and what I most need to do now is wait, wait, wait, and see the results. I ordered a book on the history of fasting from Amazon.
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:45 pm, edited 23 times in total.
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BrightAngel
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We share a common dilemma.Kathleen wrote:I am a glutton:
I want to eat as much as I want of whatever I want whenever I want.
Since that is what I am, how can I lose weight and keep it off?
This is also true of me.
In my opinion, you are gaining insight, and I believe your Oct post
shows that you are either on, or heading for,
"the right track" toward a personal plan for successful weight-loss.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Thanks, BrightAngel! My admission of being a glutton is a bit tongue-in-cheek. I think it's human nature to be a glutton. I think people tend to do what is not virtuous (gluttony) unless they make a decision to develop habits of virtue (temperance). For example, right now, I should be off this Web site and cleaning up the house, but it is a lot more fun to philosophize!
Kathleen
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
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My past 6 successful years of calorie countingKathleen wrote:I am tempted to go back to calorie counting
except I know absolutely positively that
calorie counting is short term success only.
Slow and permanent beats quick and unsustainable anytime,
but the problem is that
I'm not sure if I am on slow or stop with this approach.
via the daily use of a computer food journal
(today makes 2204 consecutive days)...
...proves to me that:
WHEN the COUNTING is ONLY SHORT-TERM,
calorie counting might bring only short-term success,
but making calorie-counting a consistent, permanent activity,
can result in long-term success.
You might find a recent post in my daily Thread helpful.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Hi BrightAngel,
I successfully kept weight off for more than 10 years by following a diet of counting 1,000 calories per day for nine days and then repeating each month. When I got pregnant with my first child, I gained 60 pounds. I did manage to lose weight but much less successfully, only getting down to 155 after my fourth child was born. In retrospect, those years of calorie counting built up pressure in me to eat to satisfaction, and when the dam broke -- when I could no longer count calories -- I went from 155 to 180 in a matter of months. I kept trying calorie counting and ended up at 215.
Kathleen
I successfully kept weight off for more than 10 years by following a diet of counting 1,000 calories per day for nine days and then repeating each month. When I got pregnant with my first child, I gained 60 pounds. I did manage to lose weight but much less successfully, only getting down to 155 after my fourth child was born. In retrospect, those years of calorie counting built up pressure in me to eat to satisfaction, and when the dam broke -- when I could no longer count calories -- I went from 155 to 180 in a matter of months. I kept trying calorie counting and ended up at 215.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
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Your experience is your own, just as my experience is mine.Kathleen wrote:In retrospect, those years of calorie counting built up pressure in me to eat to satisfaction,
and when the dam broke -- when I could no longer count calories --
I went from 155 to 180 in a matter of months.
I kept trying calorie counting and ended up at 215.
The fact that you refer to it as a "dam" that "broke",
causes me to wonder if perhaps the bingeing that caused your weight-gain
mght have been due to something OTHER THAN the actual calorie counting.
Certainly this was true concerning my own bingeing history.
I can't help but wonder if perhaps it would be helpful for you
to "revisit" your history with specific attention to your (perhaps rebellious) emotions at the time,
such as...the feelings you had when faced with the day-to-day frustration, and the missing boundaries
that occur when one is striving to fulfill the needs of a Husband and 4 small children.
Also, it might not have been actually connected to the difficulty of the BEHAVIOR of calorie counting,
but instead was due to what you continually TOLD YOURSELF ABOUT calorie counting...
.....as well as what you now continually TELL YOURSELF ABOUT all forms of portion control.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
Yes, BrightAngel, I think I was at or above the limit of what I could manage back then. Back in January of 2002, our children were 9 months old, 2, 5 and 7. I read once that some people respond to stress by eating less and others by eating more. It's occurred to me that the restrictive eaters can't manage to continue calorie counting when under a lot of stress, but I also think that at some point those who calorie count just give out. That's my perspective from giving out so many years ago. That's why I am so stubborn in trying to find a way to lose weight without portion control.
I'm bored stiff jobhunting and just agreed to another volunteer activity at school. Back then, I wasn't bored one second.
Kathleen
I'm bored stiff jobhunting and just agreed to another volunteer activity at school. Back then, I wasn't bored one second.
Kathleen
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BrightAngel
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Kathleen, I am posting a reply to this on my Daily Thread.Kathleen wrote:It's occurred to me that the restrictive eaters
can't manage to continue calorie counting when under a lot of stress,
but I also think that at some point those who calorie count just give out. That's my perspective from giving out so many years ago. That's why I am so stubborn in trying to find a way to lose weight without portion control.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, I'm very interested in your current experiment with fasting.Kathleen wrote: I think stretching out when I eat is the key.
It's not how much I eat but when. That sounds absurd, of course.
Why does it matter when you eat if you eat as much?
The answer is simple: if you delay when you eat, you eventually eat less.
Delaying to mealtime, as with The No S Diet, was insufficient to get me to an acceptable weight.
Of course, The No S Diet includes a portion control limit of one plateful, which I've not followed.
Which would I prefer? One plateful at meals or fasting to midafternoon two days per week?
The answer is fasting.
The question is: Will I more weight if I add fasting?
Time will tell. I don't know.
As I've shared with you before, I do incorporate fasting into my life,
....but, personally, I still have to do it together with portion control.
Fasting does seem to make portion control a little easier for me.
I think you will be interested in reading the three most recent posts in my personal Daily Thread.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
October, 2010: Cultivating the Virtue of Temperance
I have been a glutton: I wanted to eat as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. What approach could I take so that I could lose weight and keep it off?
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds.
Now I view willpower as the means to establish habits that are sustainable for life. “Portion control†necessarily means eating less than you want, so it necessarily requires willpower rather than habit. As a result, “portion control†is not part of my diet. For my diet, I cultivate these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on Sunday evenings: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" from after dinner until midnight every Sunday. This part of the diet appeals to the glutton in me. All week, I can look forward to Sunday evening, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month when I have “unconditional permission to eatâ€. The Exception Days allow me the flexibility to follow the diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort. I also came to think of this line from Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis de la Salle as the motto for my diet: “By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue.†This diet has an effect on me both physically and spiritually.
3. Enjoy sweets only on Sunday evenings and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen. I only eat sweets on an average of six days per month, so I have a lower tolerance for sweets: if I eat a lot of sweets, I tend to feel sick.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until after church (about 11:30 AM) or noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast involves the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which both the Atkins diet and fasting are described as creating an effect of mild hunger due to the severe restriction of carbohydrates. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. I also know that, when I do eat, I will eat to complete satisfaction.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
The Glutton's Diet:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, October 7, 2010: 200.6 (Goal of 190 pounds: behind schedule by 10.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
Day 1 – Thursday, October 7, 2010: 2 PM. 200.6 I start again. Time alone will tell whether or not this diet will work, but I have to follow it for a few months at minimum. There is a line from Introduction to the Devout Life that just sticks in my mind: "By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue." I've separated my spiritual life from my physical life and considered my overeating a physical problem only. Now I look upon it as having a significant effect on me spiritually, since it makes me obsessed with myself rather than more attentive to family, friends, home, and work. This diet is ever so easy to follow, so much so that I am confident I could follow it for life. The real problem is whether or not it will result in my losing weight.
Day 2 – Friday, October 8, 2010: 201.8. I hope I'm done with tweaking now.
8 AM: Somewhere back in my memory, probably from a medieval history course in college, there is the memory of the four cardinal virtues, one of which was temperance. Temperance means moderation, and fasting doesn't seem like a moderate approach to eating. I think that the importance of fasting may have to do with resiliency and flexibility. When my kids would say "I'm starving", I used to say, "Look around and see if there is a bug to eat." As a joke, of course. Then one day, my youngest child said, "I'll never eat a bug again." With children, of course, there is a need to eat frequently. With adults, is that really true? I've read articles in which it is strongly recommend that you eat approximately 1/2 hour before exercising. What does that mean? Is my body so dependent on food that I would damage my body if I didn't eat approximately 1/2 hour before exercising? This focus on timing and frequency of meals, of course, creates a focus on food and eating. It also makes it critically important to control portions.
I'm going down a different path of though regarding food, and I think a lot of it has to do with how eating affects a person in non-physical ways. I looked up "temperance" on the library Web site and got a lot of references to drinking. I think looked up "cardinal virtues" and found two books that I ordered.
2 PM: I volunteered twice in the school today. As I was driving home from the second volunteer activity, I realized I had not eaten yet today. It's very freeing to realize that you can, in fact, function just fine for many hours without food. I will wait until 2:30 and then eat just before the younger two get off the bus. I was submitted for a contract position that would be a too-good-to-believe fit for me, and I talked with two other recruiters. I'm hoping to get a job soon. Can I work and fast? Absolutely.
2:45 PM: What a surprise! I ate and then I felt ravenous. Why? Well, the book Good Calories, Bad Calories gave me a clue: it's the carbohydrates. I decided to eat to satisfaction because I had misjudged how much I needed to eat, and I ate a lot -- a second helping of leftover chicken casserole from two nights ago, an apple, and almonds. Now I'm satisfied. I think I need to give up the no snack idea until I adjust to fasting.
8 PM: I ate too much and ended up going to bed and sleeping through dinner.
Day 1 – Saturday, October 9, 2010: 202.6 Another Day 1. If I keep on starting over with each tweak, I'll realize how many times I revise my diet. I stepped on the scale last night and saw 205 and was horrified. I need the "no snacks" rule. I also need to throw everything I have into losing weight. Yesterday the dog got no walks. Why? No pedometer. I realized that I am constantly trying to figure out the minimum I need to lose weight and so am getting no where. As a result, I am going back to my diet of early August with one change that I think is good: I'll now have "unconditional permission to eat" on Sunday evening only rather than Sunday after church until midnight.
7 AM: I also changed the tracking system for walking. When I tried it this summer, I was adding up all the steps from my start on August 11, and the numbers were getting big. Now I'll just track on a weekly basis. Our dog will appreciate the return to pedometer walking because my walking sure has dropped off.
4:30 PM: I just ate two peaches and some cheese. Why? I'm skittish about making a commitment to this diet. I am now restarting for the second time in one day, so it is still Day 1. I think I need to just stop weighing myself and writing. Instead, I need to follow the diet and see what happens. I'll weigh myself next month. If I possibly can, I won't weigh myself or write until then. This diet needs to be experienced, not analyzed.
Day 2 – Tuesday, October 12, 2010: 202.0. Yesterday, I fasted until 1 PM. I then ate dinner at 7:30 PM and snacked after that. I decided that I would allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" except when I am fasting, and I will fast Monday, Wednesday and Friday if possible until 3 PM. This morning, I had cereal and two Oreo cookies. Now why would I think I can lose weight with this approach? The reason why is that my body is in revolt. I can overeat, but the consequence of overeating is that I don't feel well. I get stomach aches, and often I need to lie down. For example, this morning I had two Oreo cookies. I am not having any more. There is no willpower involved. More Oreo cookies are about as appealing as lima beans. I also did not finish my strengthening exercises yesterday. It is very humiliating, but I think I need to go buy a 4 lb. weight. The reason why I am not finishing my strengthening exercises is that I cannot do them all at once because it is too hard for me. I need a lower weight. I already have 1 lb, 2 lb, 3 lb, 5 lb, and 6 lb weights. I'll go down to 4 lb. and see how I do. If I don't manage well, I'll go down another pound.
Today's Wall Street Journal has an interesting article on weight loss. A research scientist from Brown University "notes that more research on weight-loss research is needed." That is the understatement of the year! As I told my father when I did not marry on schedule, "It's easy to get married. The hard part is staying married." I think it's the same with weight loss. The trick is not in losing weight. The trick is in finding a way to lose weight which makes it easy to keep the weight off. I think I've found the answer in fasting.
Day 1 – Wednesday, October 13, 2010: 203.4 I was being unrealistic, and the scale told me soon enough that I've been unrealistic. If I don't want to control portions, then I need to follow eating rules that guarantee I eat less. I have developed seven rules, and I need to follow all seven. We'll see if even this works. It's clear to me that portion control is why most diets fail, but it's also why most people lose weight in the first place. I'm very discouraged now, in part because I'm meeting lots of recruiters and have been submitted to two companies but have yet to get an interview with a hiring manager. Am I being unrealistic in my job search? I know it's tough out there and I've only been jobhunting for a month, but I'm still disappointed.
12:45 PM: I didn't feel all that hungry but had an apple and a bowl of Cheerios at 12:30 PM since I'm making a presentation to a class of 4th graders at 1:30 PM. Having three official fast days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) makes it easier for me to judge the appropriateness of eating earlier than 3 PM. I'm actually very nervous when I make presentations, but this is one of the few ways I can get into the classroom. I prioritize my child behind my diet. This approach feels good to me in part because I am getting very concerned about my job prospects and want to stop tweaking the diet. The diet as I now have it described is, at the moment, the most difficult that I can expect to follow, so it will be the one that on which I will lose the most weight. It may be that, after months of following it, I will be able to follow a more stringent diet, but this is the most I can do right now. It's off the school...
9 PM: I ate so little until dinner, we had a vegetarian dinner (rare for us) at 7 PM, and then I couldn't stop eating -- cheese, sunflower seeds, apple, granola bars.... Why? I was hungry. It's as if my hunger meter shut down with the fast but was in overdrive after a decent meal. I also didn't get to 12,000 steps, in part because I forgot to put the pedometer on when I put on a different pair of jeans. Live and learn.... I have to think about how to deal with the unexpected appetite that I experienced tonight after a very easy day of eating only one bowl of cereal with milk and an apple until dinner.
Day 1 – Thursday, October 14, 2010: 202.2 I had a somewhat encouraging thought during the night, and that thought was that fasting is helping me to realize that having a stomach which is not stuffed is actually pleasant. Fasting is actually pleasant. I now understand why St. Francis de la Salle warned against excessive fasting in Introduction to the Devout Life.
It is yet another Day 1 because I decided to dial back on the program -- two Fast Days rather than three and 10,000 steps/day rather than 12,000. I also went down to a 1 lb. weight for my exercise. I may not ever be thin again, but I can be healthy by weighing less than I do now and by being at least a little fit.
Really, fasting felt pleasant. It felt pleasant all day until after I ate dinner. I can hold onto that idea like I've held onto the memory of the moonrise over Lake Superior in August. If there's a word I never associated with dieting, it surely is the word "pleasant."
As for jobhunting, I think I need to be seeing the positive in this as well. The funding for the UnitedHealth position fell through, and now I'm looking at two possibilities in financial services rather than healthcare. That's OK. I'll be in healthcare at some point.
3 PM: The kids will be home in a few minutes, and I am bored still. I need to set up my life so that I'm busy when I have contract work and when I am jobhunting. Today I volunteered in first grade reading groups, which was definitely a sanity check because I was adding value to society. I decided to try dispensing with the snack restriction and just have a sweet restriction.
Day 1 – Friday, October 15, 2010: 201.8 Another Day 1! I'm embarassing myself into sticking with a program and not continually changing it, since a change means a new Day 1. What did I do yesterday? I decided to drop the "no snack" restriction and then added it again today. I need to give this diet some time.
This morning, all I have done is talk with four different recruiters. The whole recruiting - contractor subculture is brand new to me, and I'm trying to understand it. Who has access to reqs? Who has access prior to reqs being issued? Who is taking the time to get to know the candidate and make a thoughtful placement? It's very confusing. Since I want to be a contractor for several years so that I can stay home with the kids in the summer, I need to be patient, learn and keep learning.
1 PM: I'll get there. I couldn't find my pedometer and ate just before noon. Tomorrow is another Day 1.
Day 1 – Saturday, October 16, 2010: 202.4 Yesterday, I picked up from the library the book The Four Cardinal Virtues by Joseph Pieper. The four cardinal virtues are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. In the section on temperance, there is an entire chapter on fasting. There is one line in that chapter that just chilled me: "The destructive effect of an obsessive preoccupation with the what and how much of food and drink is perfectly obvious." It's true. Fasting is described as the way in which "that inner order by virtue of which the turbulence of sensuality is kept in check and the spirit liberated so that it may soar into the zone of its appropriate fulfillment and satisfaction." Fasting enables a person to become "the free moral person in full possession of himself."
After reading that, I decided to tweak my diet to mirror as much as possible the rhythm of feasting (on Sundays and holy days) and fasting (on Wednesdays and Fridays) that was followed by Catholics for hundreds of years. It was easier for them, of course, because they were in communities of Catholics. For me, I am in a society obsessed with dieting. That's why I have Exception Days but no Holy Days.
With my limited experience of fasting, I have found that I have become freer because I know I can manage just fine going for most of a day without food. In the chapter on fasting, Pieper wrote, "Fasting should be performed with a cheerful heart." The reason for this is that a cheerful person will guard against self-righteousness and instead learn detachment. The last sentence of the chapter is, "Cheerfulness of heart is the infallible token that reveals the inner genuineness of discipline as selfless preservation of the self." I'm not sure I know what that means, but I think it may mean that being cheerful about fasting means it is a way that a person chooses to learn moderation in eating and is in no way an act that should lead a person to feel especially self-disciplined.
Pieper makes clear that fasting is a "fundamental obligation" required of all Christians. I am wondering if fasting isn't, perhaps, a natural way that a person -- regardless of faith -- can learn to moderate eating. With my high regard for the Church, fasting is the path I should have chosen right away, but I didn't know. I simply didn't know the history. I had to use the memory of what I had learned in one medieval history class thirty years ago to realize that fasting was the universal practice and then to try to tie that practice back to what I have learned in reading diet books. I think I've found the answer to permanent weight loss, and now it is time to practice this approach and see what happens.
5:40 PM: I ate before dinner, so tomorrow is another Day 1. I decided to bypass the no snacks rule. Not a good idea. I think I'm going to resolve just to continue this diet until Christmas without changing it.
7:30 PM: I had two bowls of ice cream, and I experienced guilt for the first time in two years. It was an unpleasant feeling. I was reading in the Pieper book about how one of the indications of imprudence is inability to make up your mind. That's been me with this diet! I hope I'm done waffling now and can go with what I have decided.
Day 1– Sunday, October 17, 2010: 202.6 When I started thinking about returning to work after ten years as a stay at home Mom, I joined two different organizations which just did not fit me. When I walked into an International Institute of Business Analysts (IIBA) meeting, I knew I was home. That's how I feel now. I'm home. I needed to figure out what was essential in my approach (fasting, strengthening exercises, a feast day every week) and what was helpful and nice but not essential (using a pedometer and eating oatmeal). My dog will still want walks, and I still like oatmeal, but the core of this diet is fasting. Fasting is a way to learn how to eat an appropriate amount because there are periodic times when you fast and times when you eat to satisfaction. There is a rhythm to this. In contrast, a "portion control" approach -- at least in my experience -- is relentless misery. I feel happy that I've figured this out but ashamed that it took so long for me to research my Catholic heritage and embarrassed that I now have a long climb back to a normal weight and a normal life. A portion control approach almost seems Machievellian to me because the desire to be thin is set against the striving to survive. I shudder at the lost years in my life dealing with this issue, but I hope that I have pointed the way to my children. Whether they follow this approach or not is up to them. At least they will be aware of what every Christian and Jew for hundreds of years knew: that fasting is a way that a person can keep the appetite in check.
Day 2 – Monday, October 18, 2010: All I've done is uncover what was common wisdom for hundreds of years. There was a rhythm to eating that was taken very seriously. It was as serious to fast on Fast Days as it was to feast on Feast Days. That has all been lost to the constant struggle to "cut back". I worked with a woman once who had the goal to lose 40 pounds on Weight Watchers. She was confident she could do it because she had already lost those same forty pounds twice before. What is harder, the constant struggle to cut back or periodic fasting? I'm not doing anything special here. I'm following a practice that was expected of nearly everyone for hundreds of years. How is it that our culture is so arrogant as not to look to the wisdom of those who came before us, those like Aristotle and Aquinas? I was a fool myself. It's time simply to follow this diet. I don't even want to weigh myself because I don't intend to make any changes. I'll simply accept what was the standard approach for so long.
4:50 PM: I just had a bowl of chili and two bowls of cereal. This was not according to the plan of "everything is before me before I take one bite." Why? I have gotten so out of habit with the no snacks rule that it is really hard to return to it. What to do now? Should I take an Exception Day? I'm not sure. I'll think about it....
8 PM: I've been debating about whether or not to follow through on this approach, and I ate a lot tonight after returning from the study group. Now I'm stuffed. Do I want to commit to this or not?
9:40 PM: So when did I get cold feet about getting married? When I stood with my finance before the priest at the beginning of the wedding ceremony. That's when. This is how I feel now. I made the decision. I know it's right. I know I need to commit to this. AND I HAVE COLD FEET!
As the Good Book says, "Choose life or death." I may be too lazy to choose life for myself, but what about those children of ours? It's really an obligation. I worked so hard to figure this out, and now it's time to live it out.
Day 1 – Tuesday, October 19, 2010: 203.6 From my perspective right now, I have four choices:
1) return to restrictive eating and perhaps lose a lot of weight, which has been possible for me in the past,
2) return to The No S Diet, which stabilized my weight at just under 200 pounds,
3) go forward with this diet, or
4) start over in trying to find another eating approach.
Why am I so hesitant to go forward with this plan? I think the reason why is that I am just plain scared. This isn't just a way to lose weight. It's an approach which is transformative, and I'm not sure what is in store for me if I do follow it. It's not about weight. It's about a different attitude towards life. I got enough of an experience of fasting to appreciate that it will change my outlook on life if I do continue, and do I really want to change my outlook on life? No. So -- what to do?
I remember reading in one of the books on fasting that fasting cannot be explained: it can only be experienced. There will be surprises. In fact, there already have been surprises. I was surprised how easy to was to fast. I was surprised how calming it was to fast, since I now know I will not be in pain if a meal is late. I was surprised by how relaxing it was to fast, since there was no food preparation or clean up.
I will go ahead and try this.
Day 1 – Wednesday, October 20, 2010: 203.6 It was all too easy to revert to the habit of snacking. I ate before dinner and just kept eating until I went to bed after dinner as a way to stop myself from continuing to eat. Why? I don't know that I can answer that question honestly and thoroughly. Today is a new day. I will try to fast until after 3 PM even though I have a presentation to 24 4th graders from 1:20 until 2:20 today. Last night, I realized that one of the consequences of fasting is a heightened sense of dependency. You know how dependent you are on food when there is an effect on you if you go only 20 or so hours without food. That heightened awareness is not bad in and of itself, since it is simply the recognition of what is true, but it is uncomfortable for me because I have gone for such a long time without experiencing any hunger. It's OK. I'm going to keep trying until I get this, even if I go through 100 Day 1s. At least yesterday I didn't change the diet as a way to excuse eating outside of mealtime. That was progress.
11 AM: I just attended the children's Mass at our two younger children's elementary school. One of the readings was of the Pharisee and tax collector in church, and the Pharisee self-righteously praying, "I fast twice a week." What a timely reading for me to hear! I was thinking that fasting necessarily would have a big impact on me, but maybe that isn't the case. It's not just the act of fasting but also your attitude towards it that matters. I decided to fast for two weeks until noon and then gradually increase the time for fasting until -- perhaps -- my routine is to fast until 3 PM. There's no hurry with fasting. The urgency is in getting back in the habit of not snacking.
10 PM: I baked Toll House cookies and had several. It occurred to me that I needed to focus on fasting and give up on everything else, that The No S Diet was a path to fasting and not in addition to fasting as a way to lose weight, like dating different people is a path to marriage and not meant to be combined with marriage.
It's still Day 1. I started Day 1 of The No S Diet at about 6 PM on 9/8/08. I started Day 1 of The Temperance Diet at about 7:30 PM today.
Who would have thought that the path to temperance (which means moderation) is through fasting, which certainly doesn't seem to be moderate at all? Who would have thought this? Joseph Pieper in his book The Four Cardinal Virtues says this is so. He bases his book largely on Aquinas. I need to go back now and understand Aquinas. That, however, is for another day.
Could it possibly work that just fasting a couple of days per week would lead to permanent weight loss? I shall test this out and see.
Day 2 – Thursday, October 21, 2010: 203.0 I was surprised that my weight didn't go up this morning from yesterday morning due to my having eaten several homemade chocolate chip cookies. I remember last night a short conversation that I had with someone who was thin. Usually, I talk about weight with people who are overweight, but this was a rare time when I was talking with someone who was thin. I don't remember why we had the conversation, but I do remember what she said because it surprised me. She said she thought the difference between normal weight and overweight people is normal weight people can "tolerate hunger". I remember exactly her use of the words "tolerate hunger" because, at the time, I was testing out the idea that you eat only when hungry. I had expected her to say "recognize hunger". If, indeed, she is right, then fasting helps a person to tolerate hunger.
I'm not exactly giving up on everything else I have tried to follow. I want to continue strengthening exercises and still enjoy oatmeal and, at the moment, have no interest whatsoever in the two chocolate chip cookies which were left out in a sandwich bag on the counter overnight. My goal is to get to the heart of the matter in what causes weight loss. If the ability to "tolerate hunger" is what causes people to eat an appropriate amount of food, then any other rules guiding eating behavior can be distracting and counterproductive. I'll run with this idea and see where it takes me. Besides, trying to combine The No S Diet with fasting turned out to be result in failure after failure. I can now put all my energy into fasting. Tomorrow, I have lunch with a recruiter, so I'm glad I'm just fasting until noon. In future, I'll try to avoid lunch commitments on Wednesdays and Fridays.
12:15 PM: I have had several -- maybe 6 or 7? -- chocolate chip cookies this morning, and now I don't feel all that great. I had leftover chicken drumstick for lunch, and now I'm stuffed. In going through this approach of fasting, I think I will want to focus on feelings of hunger and fullness. Right now, I feel uncomfortably full.
8 PM: I made a second batch of cookies to hide the fact that I ate several cookies from the first batch, and now I'm making a third batch of cookies to hide the fact that I ate well over half of the second batch. Now I'm full, very full. I'm glad I'm going into a fast day. It may be that fasting regulates appetite because going several hours without food provides a contrast from a sense of fullness. When I was dieting, I either felt stuffed or starving: there was no in between. Now I can experience the sensation of my stomach aching without panic because I know I can eat as much as I want as soon as the fast ends. Despite the reality that I just distracted the kids with a movie so I could make cookies, I'm happy with how this is going. I think I have found some wisdom that has been lost, except perhaps among Greek Orthodox.
Day 3 – Friday, October 22, 2010: I woke up this morning with the feeling of lead in my stomach, and there was no way I was going to weigh myself. I'm happy it's a fast day. I think fasting paired with intuitive eating could be a way to get to moderation, but it sure isn't starting out that way!
8 PM: I had a lot to eat today -- chocolate candies that my husband had bought me (for Sunday, my S Day) and ice cream sandwiches and Toll House cookies. I made it official that I was no longer following The No S Diet. I admitted it had not worked for me. It had, in fact, worked to a certain extent in that my weight was stabilized and I no longer felt guilt and panic with eating.
I came to realize, over time, that I was never hungry when following the diet as I had modified it (no snacks and no sweets, but unlimited portion size). I was never hungry. I realized that I needed to experience hunger, which is why I've gone down the path of experimenting with fasting.
I am satisfied with trying the traditional Catholic fasting for the next several months to see where this leads me. I will fast until noon or after church on Sundays. On Wednesdays and Fridays, I'll start with fasting until noon for two weeks (this week and next week) and then increase the time by 15 minutes every two weeks. This is a very slow and deliberate approach because I have a certain almost irrational fear of going hungry.
Day 4 – Saturday, October 23, 2010: I ate a huge amount yesterday, so I wish it was a Fast Day again today, but it isn't. I think that the key to this approach is what I once heard called "the contrast effect". There is a contrast between how I feel pigging out and how I feel fasting. I have a weekly experience that I feel better if I eat less than the maximum I can stuff into my stomach, and I stop cramming everything I can into my stomach. I'm going through Joseph Pieper's The Four Cardinal Virtues at a snail's pace. It's very difficult reading. What I am getting out of it so far is that the virtue of prudence -- the ability to determine what is right -- is the first of the cardinal virtues. Prudence requires foresight, which is "the capacity to estimate, with a sure instinct for the future, whether a particular action will lead to the realization of the goal." (p. 17) I found that interesting because prudence does involve making a decision today and then projecting out what the consequences will be. There cannot be certainty.
Here I am, dieting by allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" except on three mornings when I eat nothing. Is this prudent? In the short term, I certainly appreciate that I will lose weight. What about the long term? That is where foresight comes in. Will I adjust my eating because eating less feels better? That's' my theory. That's what I'm testing. Prudence would give me a good idea of whether or not this will work. I thought The No S Diet with no portion control would work, and I was wrong. It remains to be seen if this will work.
Day 5 – Sunday, October 24, 2010: Not surprisingly, I am absolutely poured into a pair of jeans this morning. Too many Toll House cookies, that's for sure! This morning's sermon was on that same story of the Pharisee and tax collector. The Pharisee was self-righteous because, among other things, he fasted twice per week. The warning from the priest is that God welcomes the humble. I thought about the potential problems associated with fasting, including the tendency (at least when fasting was common) for people to fast excessively and become self-righteous about it. Could I become self-righteous about fasting? Of course, but I think not. Fasting is a way to train myself to eat an appropriate amount. It is an approach which is consonant with human nature. That's all it is. And fasting is downright easy. There's nothing hard about simply not eating. The hard part is "cutting back." Of course, I'm not cutting back except to fast, and my jeans are tight because of how much I've eaten when not fasting. Am I being imprudent here? Quite possibly. Quite possibly I'm not facing the reality that losing weight means "cutting back" rather than periodic fasting. I'm going to take this approach for a time, however, knowning that this was the basis for people to avoid what was considered a sin -- the sin of gluttony. Fasting was almost universal and was taken very seriously.
8 PM: I am so stuffed that I can hardly believe my jeans haven't ripped. Now what? Tomorrow is Monday, and I think I'll follow the tradition of Greek Orthodox women and take Monday as a Fast Day. I won't eat until noon tomorrow.
Day 6 – Monday, October 25, 2010: I hope my binge of several days is now over. I'm making oatmeal for breakfast today, having decided against making Monday a Fast Day. This approach of restricting food only when fasting will only work if there are changes in my eating that naturally occur as a result of fasting. I have hope that this is true, since fasting was such a part of culture for hundreds of years. What I'm trying to do is tap into wisdom of the past which has been lost in the current focus on eating small amounts throughout the day. Will it work? I don't know. The past several days were, I believe, an adjustment period and not the norm going forward. I'm hoping the adjustment period is now over.
12:30 PM: I had to go to the grocery store because we ran out of milk. While I was there, I thought I'd pick up a candy bar. Then I realized that I did not want one. It actually turned my stomach to think of having something sweet. Maybe all that time following The No S Diet has conditioned me to enjoy sweets but not every day. Maybe I just couldn't stomach another candy bar after having a Snickers bar, a Mr. Goodbar, and a Payday yesterday. At any rate, I didn't buy a candy bar because I didn't want one.
9 PM: I just had a slice of bread. Why? It didn't particularly appeal to me. I wasn't particularly hungry. Why? I think I know why: those years of dieting taught me to eat whatever I was allowed to eat. I had the same experience with intuitive eating, only the unrestricted eating led to months of binge-eating. Now I'm enjoying the freedom of being able to snack and eat sweets whenever I want. There's only one problem: I feel better when I don't eat as much. I'm becoming aware that maximizing how much I eat does not maximize how good I feel. I think that's why fasting may help me to naturally decrease the amount I eat - because I can recognize how much to eat to maximize feeling good.
This theory isn't quite solidified in my mind. I ordered Aquinas' Summa Theologica from the library and hope I can find the part described by Pieper, the part about how fasting is part of natural law. I think there is something to this, something that is wholly apart from any sort of religious significance. It will be interesting to investigate. I also wonder if any of the Greek philosophers wrote about fasting. Aquinas based much of his reasoning on Aristotle, so perhaps fasting as natural law goes back to Aristotle. Meanwhile, I munched throughout today and feel uncomfortable. Tomorrow, I'm confident I'll eat less because I'll want to feel better.
Day 7 – Tuesday, October 26, 2010: 205.8 I bit the bullet and weighed myself this morning. I think I've figured out why fasting works. The focus in conventional diets is on restriction. With fasting, the focus is on how your body feels. Fasting allows me to appreciate what food does for me. It allows me to gauge how much food is optimal and optimal is about what feels good today, not what the results will produce tomorrow.
I've been through this binge phase before -- once with intuitive eating and once with The No S Diet. It is not pleasant to have stomach aches and to go to bed early because of overeating. I'm stopping it now, not from willpower but from an aversive reaction to the consequences.
A piece of bread last night -- that was a turning point.
9:15 AM: Here is the basic question of this approach to dieting: "How can I feel my best?" That's it. That's all there is to this approach. The fasting discipline helps me to answer that question. This morning, I had steel cut oatmeal with honey and milk, which has become a staple for me. Why? I like it. I like how it makes me feel. Do I always have oatmeal in the morning? No. I don't. Sometimes I forget to make the oatmeal. Sometimes I just feel like cereal. Usually, however, when I have breakfast, it is oatmeal that I enjoy.
I think I can appreciate why people used to get caught up in fasting and be excessive about it. It does give a person a sense of control of the environment, a sense of less dependence on food. I've even had to be careful that, while a late dinner may not be a problem for me, it can be a problem for other members of my family!
I've thought many time before that I've finally found the answer to the puzzle of why people are getting so fat, and so I'm skeptical myself that I've found the answer. I remember reading once that half of solving a problem is defining it. Our culture seems to equate weight management with self-control and misery, whereas in reality I think it could be the opposite: it could be satisfying the body's need for food. Fasting is almost like sleep in that it is rejuvenating.
12:20 PM: For lunch today, I had a peanut butter sandwich, milk, an Oreo cookie, and a Dove candy bar. Too much. I would have felt better had I eaten less. There's the key: How do I feel? My body has wisdom that is not present in the rational mind. My body reacts when held under water long before my mind recognizes the situation as life-threatening. I need to harness the power of the emotional brain. Fasting is a way to educate the emotional brain. This goes back to some book I read called The Instinct to Heal about how there are two types of brains, an emotional brain and a rational brain. A portion control approach is upsetting to the emotional brain because it indicates a lack of food and possible starvation in the future. Fasting followed by "unconditional permission to eat" means that lack of food is not dangerous because there will be all that I want to eat after the fast. Both approaches restrict food. One approach (conventional diets) restricts based on amount of food. The other approach restricts based on timing of eating. Of course, if your emotional brain doesn't calm down and the pattern is fast followed by binge on 20 Toll House cookies, weight will go up because calories count no matter what.
I have been a glutton: I wanted to eat as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. What approach could I take so that I could lose weight and keep it off?
Aristotle, in his Ethics, argues that the practice of virtue is what leads to the establishment of habits of virtue which is what forms the character of a virtuous person. It was in listening over and over again to The Teaching Company lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics by Fr. Joseph Koterski of Fordham University that I recognized the paramount importance of establishing habits.
People often think dieting is a matter of willpower, but willpower when discussed in the context of dieting often means the superhuman effort to constantly restrict portions (e.g. Weight Watchers) or types of food (e.g. Atkins). Successfully following these types of diets means overcoming the body’s instinct to avoid starvation. There was just too much of a survival instinct in me because I managed to diet my way up to 215 pounds.
Now I view willpower as the means to establish habits that are sustainable for life. “Portion control†necessarily means eating less than you want, so it necessarily requires willpower rather than habit. As a result, “portion control†is not part of my diet. For my diet, I cultivate these habits:
1. Practice “unconditional permission to eat†on Sunday evenings: The concept of “unconditional permission to eat†is from the book Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. The idea behind intuitive eating is that restrictive eating leads to “diet backlash†and weight gain. I allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" from after dinner until midnight every Sunday. This part of the diet appeals to the glutton in me. All week, I can look forward to Sunday evening, to a short time when -- without guilt -- I can eat as much as I want of whatever I want. This is a dieter’s dream, and I have it reliably every single week.
2. Allow a rolling average of two Exception Days per month: There will always be times when diets cannot be followed. I allow myself two Exception Days per month when I have “unconditional permission to eatâ€. The Exception Days allow me the flexibility to follow the diet with “perfect complianceâ€. I don’t remember where I read about the idea of “perfect complianceâ€, but my conviction that “perfect compliance†is essential was reinforced by listening to Koterski’s lectures on Aristotle’s Ethics. Koterski explains that Aristotle distinguishes between habits that require thought and effort and habits which are so ingrained that they are followed automatically. I wanted a diet that was easy to follow, so I decided that I needed to follow my diet perfectly. Following my diet is like brushing my teeth: I do it automatically and without much thought or effort. I also came to think of this line from Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis de la Salle as the motto for my diet: “By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue.†This diet has an effect on me both physically and spiritually.
3. Enjoy sweets only on Sunday evenings and Exception Days: This idea is from The No S Diet by Reinhard Engels and Ben Kallen. I only eat sweets on an average of six days per month, so I have a lower tolerance for sweets: if I eat a lot of sweets, I tend to feel sick.
4. Do strengthening exercises: I am following the basic program in the book Strong Women Stay Slim by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson. I have also added three exercises (upward row, pelvic tilt, and push-up) from her book Strong Women Stay Young and may add more exercises as I improve. I've modified the exercises with weights in that I use one weight at a time and stand on one leg at a time (stand on left leg when right arm has weight and stand on right leg when left arm has weight). This was an idea suggested to me by a personal trainer years ago when I brought him this book.
Dr. Nelson made the argument that “the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. This important change comes partly from a revved-up metabolism and partly from increased physical activity – an automatic consequence of greater strength†(p. 35). When I added strengthening exercises in August, 2010, I immediately appreciated the importance of the exercises, especially since it was after only one week of strengthening exercises that I walked on rocks to cross the creek at the headwaters of the Mississippi River. I didn’t have the balance or agility of my 9 year old daughter who was scampering back and forth across the rocks. I didn’t have the balance of my husband who could walk from rock to rock. Instead, I used both hands and feet to cross the rocks in what my husband teased me was a “spider crawlâ€. I told him that I’ll be scampering over those rocks next year!
6. Skip breakfast, when possible, on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays: I try to fast until mid-afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays and until after church (about 11:30 AM) or noon on Sundays. With periodic fasting, I learn how much I need to eat in order to feel satisfied. Because the fasts only last at most 20 - 21 hours, I do not experience side effects from ketosis, which is when the "brain is no longer getting enough glucose for fuel" (from Strong Women Eat Well by Dr. Miriam E. Nelson, p. 110). My fast involves the elimination of all calories, including milk in my coffee. This idea came from Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes in which both the Atkins diet and fasting are described as creating an effect of mild hunger due to the severe restriction of carbohydrates. By fasting, I am starting to enjoy the feeling of mild hunger, and I no longer feel desperate if a meal is delayed for some reason because I know I can handle many hours without food. I also know that, when I do eat, I will eat to complete satisfaction.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (goal to lose one pound per month)
The Glutton's Diet:
(Month 1) Day 7 - Thursday, October 7, 2010: 200.6 (Goal of 190 pounds: behind schedule by 10.6 pounds)
Starting Number of Weekday Exception Days = 0 (Carryover)
+ 2 (This Month’s Allocation)
= 2.
Day 1 – Thursday, October 7, 2010: 2 PM. 200.6 I start again. Time alone will tell whether or not this diet will work, but I have to follow it for a few months at minimum. There is a line from Introduction to the Devout Life that just sticks in my mind: "By perfect practice of a single virtue a person can reach the heights in all virtue." I've separated my spiritual life from my physical life and considered my overeating a physical problem only. Now I look upon it as having a significant effect on me spiritually, since it makes me obsessed with myself rather than more attentive to family, friends, home, and work. This diet is ever so easy to follow, so much so that I am confident I could follow it for life. The real problem is whether or not it will result in my losing weight.
Day 2 – Friday, October 8, 2010: 201.8. I hope I'm done with tweaking now.
8 AM: Somewhere back in my memory, probably from a medieval history course in college, there is the memory of the four cardinal virtues, one of which was temperance. Temperance means moderation, and fasting doesn't seem like a moderate approach to eating. I think that the importance of fasting may have to do with resiliency and flexibility. When my kids would say "I'm starving", I used to say, "Look around and see if there is a bug to eat." As a joke, of course. Then one day, my youngest child said, "I'll never eat a bug again." With children, of course, there is a need to eat frequently. With adults, is that really true? I've read articles in which it is strongly recommend that you eat approximately 1/2 hour before exercising. What does that mean? Is my body so dependent on food that I would damage my body if I didn't eat approximately 1/2 hour before exercising? This focus on timing and frequency of meals, of course, creates a focus on food and eating. It also makes it critically important to control portions.
I'm going down a different path of though regarding food, and I think a lot of it has to do with how eating affects a person in non-physical ways. I looked up "temperance" on the library Web site and got a lot of references to drinking. I think looked up "cardinal virtues" and found two books that I ordered.
2 PM: I volunteered twice in the school today. As I was driving home from the second volunteer activity, I realized I had not eaten yet today. It's very freeing to realize that you can, in fact, function just fine for many hours without food. I will wait until 2:30 and then eat just before the younger two get off the bus. I was submitted for a contract position that would be a too-good-to-believe fit for me, and I talked with two other recruiters. I'm hoping to get a job soon. Can I work and fast? Absolutely.
2:45 PM: What a surprise! I ate and then I felt ravenous. Why? Well, the book Good Calories, Bad Calories gave me a clue: it's the carbohydrates. I decided to eat to satisfaction because I had misjudged how much I needed to eat, and I ate a lot -- a second helping of leftover chicken casserole from two nights ago, an apple, and almonds. Now I'm satisfied. I think I need to give up the no snack idea until I adjust to fasting.
8 PM: I ate too much and ended up going to bed and sleeping through dinner.
Day 1 – Saturday, October 9, 2010: 202.6 Another Day 1. If I keep on starting over with each tweak, I'll realize how many times I revise my diet. I stepped on the scale last night and saw 205 and was horrified. I need the "no snacks" rule. I also need to throw everything I have into losing weight. Yesterday the dog got no walks. Why? No pedometer. I realized that I am constantly trying to figure out the minimum I need to lose weight and so am getting no where. As a result, I am going back to my diet of early August with one change that I think is good: I'll now have "unconditional permission to eat" on Sunday evening only rather than Sunday after church until midnight.
7 AM: I also changed the tracking system for walking. When I tried it this summer, I was adding up all the steps from my start on August 11, and the numbers were getting big. Now I'll just track on a weekly basis. Our dog will appreciate the return to pedometer walking because my walking sure has dropped off.
4:30 PM: I just ate two peaches and some cheese. Why? I'm skittish about making a commitment to this diet. I am now restarting for the second time in one day, so it is still Day 1. I think I need to just stop weighing myself and writing. Instead, I need to follow the diet and see what happens. I'll weigh myself next month. If I possibly can, I won't weigh myself or write until then. This diet needs to be experienced, not analyzed.
Day 2 – Tuesday, October 12, 2010: 202.0. Yesterday, I fasted until 1 PM. I then ate dinner at 7:30 PM and snacked after that. I decided that I would allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" except when I am fasting, and I will fast Monday, Wednesday and Friday if possible until 3 PM. This morning, I had cereal and two Oreo cookies. Now why would I think I can lose weight with this approach? The reason why is that my body is in revolt. I can overeat, but the consequence of overeating is that I don't feel well. I get stomach aches, and often I need to lie down. For example, this morning I had two Oreo cookies. I am not having any more. There is no willpower involved. More Oreo cookies are about as appealing as lima beans. I also did not finish my strengthening exercises yesterday. It is very humiliating, but I think I need to go buy a 4 lb. weight. The reason why I am not finishing my strengthening exercises is that I cannot do them all at once because it is too hard for me. I need a lower weight. I already have 1 lb, 2 lb, 3 lb, 5 lb, and 6 lb weights. I'll go down to 4 lb. and see how I do. If I don't manage well, I'll go down another pound.
Today's Wall Street Journal has an interesting article on weight loss. A research scientist from Brown University "notes that more research on weight-loss research is needed." That is the understatement of the year! As I told my father when I did not marry on schedule, "It's easy to get married. The hard part is staying married." I think it's the same with weight loss. The trick is not in losing weight. The trick is in finding a way to lose weight which makes it easy to keep the weight off. I think I've found the answer in fasting.
Day 1 – Wednesday, October 13, 2010: 203.4 I was being unrealistic, and the scale told me soon enough that I've been unrealistic. If I don't want to control portions, then I need to follow eating rules that guarantee I eat less. I have developed seven rules, and I need to follow all seven. We'll see if even this works. It's clear to me that portion control is why most diets fail, but it's also why most people lose weight in the first place. I'm very discouraged now, in part because I'm meeting lots of recruiters and have been submitted to two companies but have yet to get an interview with a hiring manager. Am I being unrealistic in my job search? I know it's tough out there and I've only been jobhunting for a month, but I'm still disappointed.
12:45 PM: I didn't feel all that hungry but had an apple and a bowl of Cheerios at 12:30 PM since I'm making a presentation to a class of 4th graders at 1:30 PM. Having three official fast days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) makes it easier for me to judge the appropriateness of eating earlier than 3 PM. I'm actually very nervous when I make presentations, but this is one of the few ways I can get into the classroom. I prioritize my child behind my diet. This approach feels good to me in part because I am getting very concerned about my job prospects and want to stop tweaking the diet. The diet as I now have it described is, at the moment, the most difficult that I can expect to follow, so it will be the one that on which I will lose the most weight. It may be that, after months of following it, I will be able to follow a more stringent diet, but this is the most I can do right now. It's off the school...
9 PM: I ate so little until dinner, we had a vegetarian dinner (rare for us) at 7 PM, and then I couldn't stop eating -- cheese, sunflower seeds, apple, granola bars.... Why? I was hungry. It's as if my hunger meter shut down with the fast but was in overdrive after a decent meal. I also didn't get to 12,000 steps, in part because I forgot to put the pedometer on when I put on a different pair of jeans. Live and learn.... I have to think about how to deal with the unexpected appetite that I experienced tonight after a very easy day of eating only one bowl of cereal with milk and an apple until dinner.
Day 1 – Thursday, October 14, 2010: 202.2 I had a somewhat encouraging thought during the night, and that thought was that fasting is helping me to realize that having a stomach which is not stuffed is actually pleasant. Fasting is actually pleasant. I now understand why St. Francis de la Salle warned against excessive fasting in Introduction to the Devout Life.
It is yet another Day 1 because I decided to dial back on the program -- two Fast Days rather than three and 10,000 steps/day rather than 12,000. I also went down to a 1 lb. weight for my exercise. I may not ever be thin again, but I can be healthy by weighing less than I do now and by being at least a little fit.
Really, fasting felt pleasant. It felt pleasant all day until after I ate dinner. I can hold onto that idea like I've held onto the memory of the moonrise over Lake Superior in August. If there's a word I never associated with dieting, it surely is the word "pleasant."
As for jobhunting, I think I need to be seeing the positive in this as well. The funding for the UnitedHealth position fell through, and now I'm looking at two possibilities in financial services rather than healthcare. That's OK. I'll be in healthcare at some point.
3 PM: The kids will be home in a few minutes, and I am bored still. I need to set up my life so that I'm busy when I have contract work and when I am jobhunting. Today I volunteered in first grade reading groups, which was definitely a sanity check because I was adding value to society. I decided to try dispensing with the snack restriction and just have a sweet restriction.
Day 1 – Friday, October 15, 2010: 201.8 Another Day 1! I'm embarassing myself into sticking with a program and not continually changing it, since a change means a new Day 1. What did I do yesterday? I decided to drop the "no snack" restriction and then added it again today. I need to give this diet some time.
This morning, all I have done is talk with four different recruiters. The whole recruiting - contractor subculture is brand new to me, and I'm trying to understand it. Who has access to reqs? Who has access prior to reqs being issued? Who is taking the time to get to know the candidate and make a thoughtful placement? It's very confusing. Since I want to be a contractor for several years so that I can stay home with the kids in the summer, I need to be patient, learn and keep learning.
1 PM: I'll get there. I couldn't find my pedometer and ate just before noon. Tomorrow is another Day 1.
Day 1 – Saturday, October 16, 2010: 202.4 Yesterday, I picked up from the library the book The Four Cardinal Virtues by Joseph Pieper. The four cardinal virtues are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. In the section on temperance, there is an entire chapter on fasting. There is one line in that chapter that just chilled me: "The destructive effect of an obsessive preoccupation with the what and how much of food and drink is perfectly obvious." It's true. Fasting is described as the way in which "that inner order by virtue of which the turbulence of sensuality is kept in check and the spirit liberated so that it may soar into the zone of its appropriate fulfillment and satisfaction." Fasting enables a person to become "the free moral person in full possession of himself."
After reading that, I decided to tweak my diet to mirror as much as possible the rhythm of feasting (on Sundays and holy days) and fasting (on Wednesdays and Fridays) that was followed by Catholics for hundreds of years. It was easier for them, of course, because they were in communities of Catholics. For me, I am in a society obsessed with dieting. That's why I have Exception Days but no Holy Days.
With my limited experience of fasting, I have found that I have become freer because I know I can manage just fine going for most of a day without food. In the chapter on fasting, Pieper wrote, "Fasting should be performed with a cheerful heart." The reason for this is that a cheerful person will guard against self-righteousness and instead learn detachment. The last sentence of the chapter is, "Cheerfulness of heart is the infallible token that reveals the inner genuineness of discipline as selfless preservation of the self." I'm not sure I know what that means, but I think it may mean that being cheerful about fasting means it is a way that a person chooses to learn moderation in eating and is in no way an act that should lead a person to feel especially self-disciplined.
Pieper makes clear that fasting is a "fundamental obligation" required of all Christians. I am wondering if fasting isn't, perhaps, a natural way that a person -- regardless of faith -- can learn to moderate eating. With my high regard for the Church, fasting is the path I should have chosen right away, but I didn't know. I simply didn't know the history. I had to use the memory of what I had learned in one medieval history class thirty years ago to realize that fasting was the universal practice and then to try to tie that practice back to what I have learned in reading diet books. I think I've found the answer to permanent weight loss, and now it is time to practice this approach and see what happens.
5:40 PM: I ate before dinner, so tomorrow is another Day 1. I decided to bypass the no snacks rule. Not a good idea. I think I'm going to resolve just to continue this diet until Christmas without changing it.
7:30 PM: I had two bowls of ice cream, and I experienced guilt for the first time in two years. It was an unpleasant feeling. I was reading in the Pieper book about how one of the indications of imprudence is inability to make up your mind. That's been me with this diet! I hope I'm done waffling now and can go with what I have decided.
Day 1– Sunday, October 17, 2010: 202.6 When I started thinking about returning to work after ten years as a stay at home Mom, I joined two different organizations which just did not fit me. When I walked into an International Institute of Business Analysts (IIBA) meeting, I knew I was home. That's how I feel now. I'm home. I needed to figure out what was essential in my approach (fasting, strengthening exercises, a feast day every week) and what was helpful and nice but not essential (using a pedometer and eating oatmeal). My dog will still want walks, and I still like oatmeal, but the core of this diet is fasting. Fasting is a way to learn how to eat an appropriate amount because there are periodic times when you fast and times when you eat to satisfaction. There is a rhythm to this. In contrast, a "portion control" approach -- at least in my experience -- is relentless misery. I feel happy that I've figured this out but ashamed that it took so long for me to research my Catholic heritage and embarrassed that I now have a long climb back to a normal weight and a normal life. A portion control approach almost seems Machievellian to me because the desire to be thin is set against the striving to survive. I shudder at the lost years in my life dealing with this issue, but I hope that I have pointed the way to my children. Whether they follow this approach or not is up to them. At least they will be aware of what every Christian and Jew for hundreds of years knew: that fasting is a way that a person can keep the appetite in check.
Day 2 – Monday, October 18, 2010: All I've done is uncover what was common wisdom for hundreds of years. There was a rhythm to eating that was taken very seriously. It was as serious to fast on Fast Days as it was to feast on Feast Days. That has all been lost to the constant struggle to "cut back". I worked with a woman once who had the goal to lose 40 pounds on Weight Watchers. She was confident she could do it because she had already lost those same forty pounds twice before. What is harder, the constant struggle to cut back or periodic fasting? I'm not doing anything special here. I'm following a practice that was expected of nearly everyone for hundreds of years. How is it that our culture is so arrogant as not to look to the wisdom of those who came before us, those like Aristotle and Aquinas? I was a fool myself. It's time simply to follow this diet. I don't even want to weigh myself because I don't intend to make any changes. I'll simply accept what was the standard approach for so long.
4:50 PM: I just had a bowl of chili and two bowls of cereal. This was not according to the plan of "everything is before me before I take one bite." Why? I have gotten so out of habit with the no snacks rule that it is really hard to return to it. What to do now? Should I take an Exception Day? I'm not sure. I'll think about it....
8 PM: I've been debating about whether or not to follow through on this approach, and I ate a lot tonight after returning from the study group. Now I'm stuffed. Do I want to commit to this or not?
9:40 PM: So when did I get cold feet about getting married? When I stood with my finance before the priest at the beginning of the wedding ceremony. That's when. This is how I feel now. I made the decision. I know it's right. I know I need to commit to this. AND I HAVE COLD FEET!
As the Good Book says, "Choose life or death." I may be too lazy to choose life for myself, but what about those children of ours? It's really an obligation. I worked so hard to figure this out, and now it's time to live it out.
Day 1 – Tuesday, October 19, 2010: 203.6 From my perspective right now, I have four choices:
1) return to restrictive eating and perhaps lose a lot of weight, which has been possible for me in the past,
2) return to The No S Diet, which stabilized my weight at just under 200 pounds,
3) go forward with this diet, or
4) start over in trying to find another eating approach.
Why am I so hesitant to go forward with this plan? I think the reason why is that I am just plain scared. This isn't just a way to lose weight. It's an approach which is transformative, and I'm not sure what is in store for me if I do follow it. It's not about weight. It's about a different attitude towards life. I got enough of an experience of fasting to appreciate that it will change my outlook on life if I do continue, and do I really want to change my outlook on life? No. So -- what to do?
I remember reading in one of the books on fasting that fasting cannot be explained: it can only be experienced. There will be surprises. In fact, there already have been surprises. I was surprised how easy to was to fast. I was surprised how calming it was to fast, since I now know I will not be in pain if a meal is late. I was surprised by how relaxing it was to fast, since there was no food preparation or clean up.
I will go ahead and try this.
Day 1 – Wednesday, October 20, 2010: 203.6 It was all too easy to revert to the habit of snacking. I ate before dinner and just kept eating until I went to bed after dinner as a way to stop myself from continuing to eat. Why? I don't know that I can answer that question honestly and thoroughly. Today is a new day. I will try to fast until after 3 PM even though I have a presentation to 24 4th graders from 1:20 until 2:20 today. Last night, I realized that one of the consequences of fasting is a heightened sense of dependency. You know how dependent you are on food when there is an effect on you if you go only 20 or so hours without food. That heightened awareness is not bad in and of itself, since it is simply the recognition of what is true, but it is uncomfortable for me because I have gone for such a long time without experiencing any hunger. It's OK. I'm going to keep trying until I get this, even if I go through 100 Day 1s. At least yesterday I didn't change the diet as a way to excuse eating outside of mealtime. That was progress.
11 AM: I just attended the children's Mass at our two younger children's elementary school. One of the readings was of the Pharisee and tax collector in church, and the Pharisee self-righteously praying, "I fast twice a week." What a timely reading for me to hear! I was thinking that fasting necessarily would have a big impact on me, but maybe that isn't the case. It's not just the act of fasting but also your attitude towards it that matters. I decided to fast for two weeks until noon and then gradually increase the time for fasting until -- perhaps -- my routine is to fast until 3 PM. There's no hurry with fasting. The urgency is in getting back in the habit of not snacking.
10 PM: I baked Toll House cookies and had several. It occurred to me that I needed to focus on fasting and give up on everything else, that The No S Diet was a path to fasting and not in addition to fasting as a way to lose weight, like dating different people is a path to marriage and not meant to be combined with marriage.
It's still Day 1. I started Day 1 of The No S Diet at about 6 PM on 9/8/08. I started Day 1 of The Temperance Diet at about 7:30 PM today.
Who would have thought that the path to temperance (which means moderation) is through fasting, which certainly doesn't seem to be moderate at all? Who would have thought this? Joseph Pieper in his book The Four Cardinal Virtues says this is so. He bases his book largely on Aquinas. I need to go back now and understand Aquinas. That, however, is for another day.
Could it possibly work that just fasting a couple of days per week would lead to permanent weight loss? I shall test this out and see.
Day 2 – Thursday, October 21, 2010: 203.0 I was surprised that my weight didn't go up this morning from yesterday morning due to my having eaten several homemade chocolate chip cookies. I remember last night a short conversation that I had with someone who was thin. Usually, I talk about weight with people who are overweight, but this was a rare time when I was talking with someone who was thin. I don't remember why we had the conversation, but I do remember what she said because it surprised me. She said she thought the difference between normal weight and overweight people is normal weight people can "tolerate hunger". I remember exactly her use of the words "tolerate hunger" because, at the time, I was testing out the idea that you eat only when hungry. I had expected her to say "recognize hunger". If, indeed, she is right, then fasting helps a person to tolerate hunger.
I'm not exactly giving up on everything else I have tried to follow. I want to continue strengthening exercises and still enjoy oatmeal and, at the moment, have no interest whatsoever in the two chocolate chip cookies which were left out in a sandwich bag on the counter overnight. My goal is to get to the heart of the matter in what causes weight loss. If the ability to "tolerate hunger" is what causes people to eat an appropriate amount of food, then any other rules guiding eating behavior can be distracting and counterproductive. I'll run with this idea and see where it takes me. Besides, trying to combine The No S Diet with fasting turned out to be result in failure after failure. I can now put all my energy into fasting. Tomorrow, I have lunch with a recruiter, so I'm glad I'm just fasting until noon. In future, I'll try to avoid lunch commitments on Wednesdays and Fridays.
12:15 PM: I have had several -- maybe 6 or 7? -- chocolate chip cookies this morning, and now I don't feel all that great. I had leftover chicken drumstick for lunch, and now I'm stuffed. In going through this approach of fasting, I think I will want to focus on feelings of hunger and fullness. Right now, I feel uncomfortably full.
8 PM: I made a second batch of cookies to hide the fact that I ate several cookies from the first batch, and now I'm making a third batch of cookies to hide the fact that I ate well over half of the second batch. Now I'm full, very full. I'm glad I'm going into a fast day. It may be that fasting regulates appetite because going several hours without food provides a contrast from a sense of fullness. When I was dieting, I either felt stuffed or starving: there was no in between. Now I can experience the sensation of my stomach aching without panic because I know I can eat as much as I want as soon as the fast ends. Despite the reality that I just distracted the kids with a movie so I could make cookies, I'm happy with how this is going. I think I have found some wisdom that has been lost, except perhaps among Greek Orthodox.
Day 3 – Friday, October 22, 2010: I woke up this morning with the feeling of lead in my stomach, and there was no way I was going to weigh myself. I'm happy it's a fast day. I think fasting paired with intuitive eating could be a way to get to moderation, but it sure isn't starting out that way!
8 PM: I had a lot to eat today -- chocolate candies that my husband had bought me (for Sunday, my S Day) and ice cream sandwiches and Toll House cookies. I made it official that I was no longer following The No S Diet. I admitted it had not worked for me. It had, in fact, worked to a certain extent in that my weight was stabilized and I no longer felt guilt and panic with eating.
I came to realize, over time, that I was never hungry when following the diet as I had modified it (no snacks and no sweets, but unlimited portion size). I was never hungry. I realized that I needed to experience hunger, which is why I've gone down the path of experimenting with fasting.
I am satisfied with trying the traditional Catholic fasting for the next several months to see where this leads me. I will fast until noon or after church on Sundays. On Wednesdays and Fridays, I'll start with fasting until noon for two weeks (this week and next week) and then increase the time by 15 minutes every two weeks. This is a very slow and deliberate approach because I have a certain almost irrational fear of going hungry.
Day 4 – Saturday, October 23, 2010: I ate a huge amount yesterday, so I wish it was a Fast Day again today, but it isn't. I think that the key to this approach is what I once heard called "the contrast effect". There is a contrast between how I feel pigging out and how I feel fasting. I have a weekly experience that I feel better if I eat less than the maximum I can stuff into my stomach, and I stop cramming everything I can into my stomach. I'm going through Joseph Pieper's The Four Cardinal Virtues at a snail's pace. It's very difficult reading. What I am getting out of it so far is that the virtue of prudence -- the ability to determine what is right -- is the first of the cardinal virtues. Prudence requires foresight, which is "the capacity to estimate, with a sure instinct for the future, whether a particular action will lead to the realization of the goal." (p. 17) I found that interesting because prudence does involve making a decision today and then projecting out what the consequences will be. There cannot be certainty.
Here I am, dieting by allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" except on three mornings when I eat nothing. Is this prudent? In the short term, I certainly appreciate that I will lose weight. What about the long term? That is where foresight comes in. Will I adjust my eating because eating less feels better? That's' my theory. That's what I'm testing. Prudence would give me a good idea of whether or not this will work. I thought The No S Diet with no portion control would work, and I was wrong. It remains to be seen if this will work.
Day 5 – Sunday, October 24, 2010: Not surprisingly, I am absolutely poured into a pair of jeans this morning. Too many Toll House cookies, that's for sure! This morning's sermon was on that same story of the Pharisee and tax collector. The Pharisee was self-righteous because, among other things, he fasted twice per week. The warning from the priest is that God welcomes the humble. I thought about the potential problems associated with fasting, including the tendency (at least when fasting was common) for people to fast excessively and become self-righteous about it. Could I become self-righteous about fasting? Of course, but I think not. Fasting is a way to train myself to eat an appropriate amount. It is an approach which is consonant with human nature. That's all it is. And fasting is downright easy. There's nothing hard about simply not eating. The hard part is "cutting back." Of course, I'm not cutting back except to fast, and my jeans are tight because of how much I've eaten when not fasting. Am I being imprudent here? Quite possibly. Quite possibly I'm not facing the reality that losing weight means "cutting back" rather than periodic fasting. I'm going to take this approach for a time, however, knowning that this was the basis for people to avoid what was considered a sin -- the sin of gluttony. Fasting was almost universal and was taken very seriously.
8 PM: I am so stuffed that I can hardly believe my jeans haven't ripped. Now what? Tomorrow is Monday, and I think I'll follow the tradition of Greek Orthodox women and take Monday as a Fast Day. I won't eat until noon tomorrow.
Day 6 – Monday, October 25, 2010: I hope my binge of several days is now over. I'm making oatmeal for breakfast today, having decided against making Monday a Fast Day. This approach of restricting food only when fasting will only work if there are changes in my eating that naturally occur as a result of fasting. I have hope that this is true, since fasting was such a part of culture for hundreds of years. What I'm trying to do is tap into wisdom of the past which has been lost in the current focus on eating small amounts throughout the day. Will it work? I don't know. The past several days were, I believe, an adjustment period and not the norm going forward. I'm hoping the adjustment period is now over.
12:30 PM: I had to go to the grocery store because we ran out of milk. While I was there, I thought I'd pick up a candy bar. Then I realized that I did not want one. It actually turned my stomach to think of having something sweet. Maybe all that time following The No S Diet has conditioned me to enjoy sweets but not every day. Maybe I just couldn't stomach another candy bar after having a Snickers bar, a Mr. Goodbar, and a Payday yesterday. At any rate, I didn't buy a candy bar because I didn't want one.
9 PM: I just had a slice of bread. Why? It didn't particularly appeal to me. I wasn't particularly hungry. Why? I think I know why: those years of dieting taught me to eat whatever I was allowed to eat. I had the same experience with intuitive eating, only the unrestricted eating led to months of binge-eating. Now I'm enjoying the freedom of being able to snack and eat sweets whenever I want. There's only one problem: I feel better when I don't eat as much. I'm becoming aware that maximizing how much I eat does not maximize how good I feel. I think that's why fasting may help me to naturally decrease the amount I eat - because I can recognize how much to eat to maximize feeling good.
This theory isn't quite solidified in my mind. I ordered Aquinas' Summa Theologica from the library and hope I can find the part described by Pieper, the part about how fasting is part of natural law. I think there is something to this, something that is wholly apart from any sort of religious significance. It will be interesting to investigate. I also wonder if any of the Greek philosophers wrote about fasting. Aquinas based much of his reasoning on Aristotle, so perhaps fasting as natural law goes back to Aristotle. Meanwhile, I munched throughout today and feel uncomfortable. Tomorrow, I'm confident I'll eat less because I'll want to feel better.
Day 7 – Tuesday, October 26, 2010: 205.8 I bit the bullet and weighed myself this morning. I think I've figured out why fasting works. The focus in conventional diets is on restriction. With fasting, the focus is on how your body feels. Fasting allows me to appreciate what food does for me. It allows me to gauge how much food is optimal and optimal is about what feels good today, not what the results will produce tomorrow.
I've been through this binge phase before -- once with intuitive eating and once with The No S Diet. It is not pleasant to have stomach aches and to go to bed early because of overeating. I'm stopping it now, not from willpower but from an aversive reaction to the consequences.
A piece of bread last night -- that was a turning point.
9:15 AM: Here is the basic question of this approach to dieting: "How can I feel my best?" That's it. That's all there is to this approach. The fasting discipline helps me to answer that question. This morning, I had steel cut oatmeal with honey and milk, which has become a staple for me. Why? I like it. I like how it makes me feel. Do I always have oatmeal in the morning? No. I don't. Sometimes I forget to make the oatmeal. Sometimes I just feel like cereal. Usually, however, when I have breakfast, it is oatmeal that I enjoy.
I think I can appreciate why people used to get caught up in fasting and be excessive about it. It does give a person a sense of control of the environment, a sense of less dependence on food. I've even had to be careful that, while a late dinner may not be a problem for me, it can be a problem for other members of my family!
I've thought many time before that I've finally found the answer to the puzzle of why people are getting so fat, and so I'm skeptical myself that I've found the answer. I remember reading once that half of solving a problem is defining it. Our culture seems to equate weight management with self-control and misery, whereas in reality I think it could be the opposite: it could be satisfying the body's need for food. Fasting is almost like sleep in that it is rejuvenating.
12:20 PM: For lunch today, I had a peanut butter sandwich, milk, an Oreo cookie, and a Dove candy bar. Too much. I would have felt better had I eaten less. There's the key: How do I feel? My body has wisdom that is not present in the rational mind. My body reacts when held under water long before my mind recognizes the situation as life-threatening. I need to harness the power of the emotional brain. Fasting is a way to educate the emotional brain. This goes back to some book I read called The Instinct to Heal about how there are two types of brains, an emotional brain and a rational brain. A portion control approach is upsetting to the emotional brain because it indicates a lack of food and possible starvation in the future. Fasting followed by "unconditional permission to eat" means that lack of food is not dangerous because there will be all that I want to eat after the fast. Both approaches restrict food. One approach (conventional diets) restricts based on amount of food. The other approach restricts based on timing of eating. Of course, if your emotional brain doesn't calm down and the pattern is fast followed by binge on 20 Toll House cookies, weight will go up because calories count no matter what.
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:10 am, edited 17 times in total.