Moxie's Daily Check-in

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:43 am

I have been gone for some time but am ready to dive in again. I truly believe in it's worth.

One of the things I struggled with before was that I NEVER allowed myself to have NWS days. Or if I did, I felt guilty. I constantly felt like I was white-knuckling and on the brink of a failure. And failing made me feel bad about myself- which led to more overeating! I recently read Kathleen's posts about "earning" NWS days and it really clicked with me. So I am stealing her idea (thank you for sharing it Kathleen!).

So tomorrow is day 1 for me. On the first of every month I will earn 2 NWS days, to use how I please. So since it's the middle of the month I already have one!

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:07 am

Moxie28,
That's great! It looks like that idea is clicking with some of us who don't deal well with one failure. Some people can handle it, and more power to them. I'm just someone whose entire commitment to a diet is jeopardized by one failure.

Kathleen

PS. I started mid-month with this idea but still gave myself two Special Days for the month of September. I wanted the comfort of knowing I was at least two days away from an N Day failure. Now, in mid October, I have three buffer days.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:17 pm

Hi Kathleen,

Thank you so much for checking in! I have been reading over your posts and am just so impressed. There's so much inspiration there. I absolutely LOVE the earned NWS idea!

Moxie

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:28 pm

**I also just need to remind myself that the MOST important thing for me is to eat only things that I like on my N-Days (and S Days too of course). Not to eat things I think I SHOULD eat. That really, really gets me into trouble. I was just thinking about things to eat for breakfast and how I should start eating plain yogurt with fruit & walnuts- none of those things which I like. This immediately made me want to binge.

So if I want a plate full of cheese & crackers for dinner I will have it. Bagel and cream cheese for breakfast? Fine. Whatever is fine as long as it's all on the table before I start eating and is not a sweet- and is a meal.

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:19 pm

Moxie,
Remember that I'm just starting out. Here is a link to Reinhard's thoughts on the subject:

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=4216

For me, having a stash of Special Days to be used however I want just has a very calming influence on me. I don't feel as though I am "one bite" away from failure. I haven't yet failed on an N Day and used a Special Day as a result. What I've noticed is that I have looked at some temptation at the grocery store (or my husband bringing home pie on a Friday night!) and decided, "Thanks, but no thanks" all the while thinking "This isn't worth using a Special Day."

Kathleen

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:55 pm

Hi Kathleen,

I agree. Having a stash is calming to me as well. I can absolutely see how a "failure" can help some people however, for me, the emotional fallout (ie bingeing) that I put myself through is not beneficial. It usually causes me just to give up. I really don't want to give up this time!!!

Moxie

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:31 pm

Moxie28,
That's exactly what it is like for me! One failure would be the end of this diet. Let's encourage each other!
Kathleen

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 1:21 am

Thank you Kathleen! You are so sweet.

Well, today was Day 1 and it was a Success.

B: coffee & 1/2&1/2
yogurt

L: cheese sandwich on baguette
3/4 cup broccoli & cheese soup

D: rice with indian vegetables
2 pieces ezekial with cashew/almond butter

This was a very, very hard day for me. This is a ton of food for me but my panic of being hungry overided my reason of eating less. It was amazing to me how not grazing tonight brought a lot of sadness and lonliness on. It must be there all the time but I've been covering it up with food. I honestly don't know how I'll do this. I'm already over the weight I want to be and eating like this is almost more than I usually eat. I'm pretty scared. However, I think it's really the only way I can learn to put food in it's proper place. If I am eating out of pure emotion then I will never lose weight. I knew I was doing it, using food for the wrong reasons, but tonight it became really obvious.

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:54 am

Moxie,
My first four days on this diet were failures (before I came up with the allocation of Special Days as an idea). The first two weeks were hard. I'm now at about 5 weeks, and the diet has actually gotten easier! Stick with it!
Kathleen