Lily x's Daily Check In - 21 Day Challenge

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Lily x
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Lily x's Daily Check In - 21 Day Challenge

Post by Lily x » Mon May 07, 2012 2:51 pm

I'm starting again. :D

Actually, more accurately, I've already started again. I already have 2 days under my belt, Saturday and Sunday (LOL, t'wasn't too hard to do seeing as they were both S days :lol: ), and today is Day 3. I'm two meals down and feeling good.

And that's what this WOE is all about, isn't it? Feeling good. Feeling in control.

I wandered away from this WOE the first time around after just a few weeks, frustrated by my lack of progress according to the scales. I should've known better but I didn't listen to the little voice in my head that assured me that all I needed to do was stick it out, to keep going.

So in between, I've tried all sorts of things, going low carb, counting calories, returning to a meal-replacement diet that worked really well for me a few years back - all to no avail. My 'diet-head' doesn't need that kind of encouragement! I just can't cope with food lists, with restrictions, with 'you can eat this but not this' type diets any more. I want to feel normal. I want to have a healthy relationship with food, not the very unhealthy relationship I was starting to have with it, where I'd deprive myself for day after day for anything from three days to a month - and then run screaming into the doughnuts! Enough already. I'm 42. I'm ready for a grown-up relationship with food now, one where I call the shots!

I'm ready, prepared even, not to lose much weight for a while. My number one goal right now is not to put any more on! Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to stay at the size I am, but I'm serene about the idea that it might take a few months to lose 10 pounds. I've done quick fixes before - and the thing I've learned about quick fixes is that they tend to be botched jobs.

T'other thing - I have no intention of using the word 'failure' in this thread. If I have a red day, I'll call it a red day. I'll try to work out what happened to make it a red day and record any conclusions here, but I'm not going to consider my progress in terms of good and bad. In common with a few folk around here, I've been reading 'The Willpower Instinct' by Kelly McGonigal, and one of the things she writes about is the danger of moralising our actions. We're either moving towards our goal or away from it. Moving away from my goal is not inherently 'bad' - it's just delaying the day that I get to where I want to be.

LOL, I think this is enough rambling for one post, so I'm going to sshh now. I'm going to start with a 21 day challenge so I'll be back soon to post about how it's going!
Last edited by Lily x on Mon May 07, 2012 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Amy3010
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Post by Amy3010 » Mon May 07, 2012 3:19 pm

Hi Lily, welcome back! I'm looking for exactly the same thing you are, been at it for a bit over a month now so I know what you mean.

I'm also reading that book and it has been very enlightening and encouraging. I'm really trying to incorporate some of the suggestions, too.

Good luck this week!

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Post by Lily x » Mon May 07, 2012 6:43 pm

Hi Amy - thanks for popping in and for the encouragement. It's very much appreciated x

Unfortunately, my green day has just flicked over to red. I guess it was kind of inevitable - I've had 10 days off from work and tonight was my last night (back to work tomorrow) and, oh, 'diet head' said, "Mark it! Have some ice cream!". Must stop listening to diet head.

Never mind. I'm going to keep on keeping on!

Day 1 - Yellow
Day 2 - Yellow
Day 3 - Red

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Post by Amy3010 » Tue May 08, 2012 5:09 am

Good for you to charge ahead! I had seven fails in my first month and even though it made me feel bad temporarily I didn't let it make me give up. Have a great day today!

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Post by Lily x » Tue May 08, 2012 6:13 pm

Amy - thank you so much! I needed to read that today. I've had another red day today. :oops: I had the best of intentions, but after my first day back at work (after 10 days leave) my willpower was at such a low ebb. I have one of those jobs that no one picks up for me if I'm not there, so holidays are as much a curse as a pleasure - I went back to 300 emails that mostly need a reply yesterday. Eek.

It's tough at the moment, because although I want to lose weight, it isn't my top priority. It probably ought to be my top priority - I really can't afford to get bigger than I am. But it isn't, because trying to stay on top of my job takes precedence. I'm the chief breadwinner in our household and, well, I get scared about screwing things up.

I don't quite know how to get my weight loss mojo back - I'd settle for a maintain weight mojo at the moment!

Oh well. I'll keep trying!

Day 1 - yellow
Day 2 - yellow
Day 3 - red
Day 4 - red

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Post by Lily x » Fri May 11, 2012 9:24 pm

Finally got me a green day! If at first, you don't succeed... :)

Day 1 - yellow
Day 2 - yellow
Day 3 - red
Day 4 - red
Day 5 - red
Day 6 - red
Day 7 - green

grantmeserenity
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Post by grantmeserenity » Sat May 12, 2012 1:24 am

Lily x wrote:Finally got me a green day! If at first, you don't succeed... :)

Day 1 - yellow
Day 2 - yellow
Day 3 - red
Day 4 - red
Day 5 - red
Day 6 - red
Day 7 - green
Great job! It's taking me several times to get this right too, but we can do it.

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Lily x
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Post by Lily x » Mon May 14, 2012 6:49 pm

Doh. I was doing so well - I had green days on the weekend cos I didn't actually fancy anything sweet. Hmm. Maybe I should've forced myself??

Day 1 - yellow
Day 2 - yellow
Day 3 - red
Day 4 - red
Day 5 - red
Day 6 - red
Day 7 - green
Day 8 - green
Day 9 - green
Day 10 - red

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Post by Amy3010 » Wed May 16, 2012 7:25 am

Hang in there - I've been struggling with some fails lately too. Did you see the link to this article on one of the threads: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/15/scien ... esity.html - so interesting and it totally supports No-S and the slow and steady way of life.
Let's keep focusing on the habits we are creating and the results will follow - slowly but surely!

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Post by Lily x » Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:15 pm

Ok, third time's a charm, right? ;)

Only this time, I think I really do believe that diets don't work. :) I've spent about a month trying intuitive eating (IE), reading everything, learning lots. And here I am, back with the most common sense plan in world. Turns out I need a teeny tiny bit of structure.

Days 1&2 done, fairly sane and sensible S days both, perhaps because I've been doing IE and got the "stuffing myself with sweets at every opportunity" thing out of my system.

Really looking forward to my N day tomorrow!

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Post by Kittykat150 » Mon Sep 09, 2013 12:20 am

Lily x,
Three times, four times, twelve times....however long it takes! No looking back and no counting back necessary. You are different today. You are wiser today. When we know better, we do better.
Welcome back to the sisterhood of sanity. Isn't it wonderful that this forum is always here waiting patiently for us to return? No judgement. Only welcoming and support.
Best of luck!
Kat
:wink:
"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." -Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Lily x
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Post by Lily x » Mon Sep 09, 2013 12:47 pm

Thanks for the welcome back, Kittykat! :)

I'll see if I can visit a few other "check-ins" later. It's always nice to have people to share the journey with.

And I hope this isn't yet another false dawn, but something really does feel different this time around. I feel like this is going to be a proper lifestyle change this time, not so focused on weight loss. I think I've finally come to terms with the idea - quelle horreur! - that I might not actually lose any weight. And that if I do, it might take quite a while and it won't be speedy. That's one hell of a step forward for me. I've been wedded to the notion that "weight loss is all" for years. But it isn't. Being slimmer wouldn't change anything other than how much space I take up in the world - and perhaps my ability to climb 3 flights of stairs without gasping for breath. ;)

Slow is good. Changing habits for good is good. Sanity is good. :)

I've decided that at this stage I'm not going to worry too much about the size of my plates or worry about S days gone wild. Because I think I finally believe that both of those things will take care of themselves if I don't stress about them. And indeed, that already seems to be the case. I didn't eat everything I'd planned for either breakfast or lunch because I wasn't hungry enough. Imagine that, LOL, leaving something because I wasn't hungry anymore. That never happens on other diets!

I think all the reading about intuitive eating has helped too. While No S isn't intuitive eating exactly, it covers the same sort of ground, which means I've had the opportunity to think hard about when and what I like to eat. And reading Linda Bacon's "Health at every size" seems to have been a game changer for me. With a title like that, you might think that's a book about saying that weighing 300lbs is ok - but it's not like that. It's about the fact that restrictive diets actually lead directly to weight gain, and also to health problems themselves. If you think about it, the constant eat-diet-binge-repent cycle leads to us doing some very stupid things to our bodies in the name of weight loss and health - and it's those stupid things that make us unfit, not the extra pounds so much. Interesting stuff.

So no more of that. Common sense prevails!

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