A Happy Medium

[sarahkay]

Hello all! I decided to make a new thread to accompany my new thinking and my new experience with No S.

I have done No S before and then left... I am returning to No S... again.

I find that I cannot do this intuitive/naturally thin person thing. I have too many emotional uses for food in my life!

But I also realize I do not need to obsess. I have been obsessing about food and weight issues for MONTHS. My wonderful boyfriend (of over 15 months now!) has been great, listening to my rants and frustration and giving me a shoulder to cry on. But I finally realized I must work on not obsessing about it, and working on loving myself right now.

To do that, I've started focusing on LIFE! Relationships with others, journaling, nails (I started painting them and taking care of them so I would stop biting them... so much fun!), reading, studying for my classes...

I also have come to enjoy moving my body. I want to be more active, not in a hit-the-gym way, but just enjoying moving. I also want to have a few days a week where I have a brisk walk or something planned, but I want to enjoy activity outside my "workout" routine, too.

My biggest realization was this: If I want to maintain/lose weight, I MUST say no at some point.

Whether it's to a snack, a dessert, whatever. Whether I'm eating intuitively or following a plan, there will be times when I must decline a food. It sucks. But everyone who has a normal weight does it.

So I decided that the idea of three meals appeals to me because I know I have the guarantee of food again and I don't have to worry about eating at odd times and such. A little more routine.

I had an S day on Thursday and Friday (yesterday), so I am actually back to N days for today and tomorrow even though it's the weekend.

Here's to a great day!


PS. I've really been thinking of starting a youtube channel... and posting videos about my progress and such. It would be super motivating to me, and hopefully to others, especially young women struggling with food, weight issues, and self esteem/body image like me!!

What do you guys think? Good idea, or not?

<3 Sarah

[sarahkay]

Monday October 1: Success!

Yesterday went well, despite some tough situations!!

Spending the day with my darling made it tempting to overeat in a celebratory way. But I managed to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I will say that lunch and dinner were pushing the one-plate rule, but the fact that I stayed on plan and didn't say what the heck and snack on sweets is GREAT!! Quite an accomplishment for me.

I am at my heaviest again, and I would like to change that. But I am learning to appreciate myself right now, as is. It helps me a lot.

I'm looking forward to another good day today! Hopefully the rain will let up long enough for me to get my walk in!

<3 Sarah

[Amy3010]

Thanks for stopping by my thread! Looks like we are both starting up again...hopefully this time a bit better than last. Although when I read some other threads it looks like it takes a few tries before it really sticks. So we'll just keep plugging along, right?

That would be neat if you started your own Youtube channel - I do think it would be inspiring for a lot of people. Keep us posted if you do!

[dana2012]

My biggest realization was this: If I want to maintain/lose weight, I MUST say no at some point.

Whether it's to a snack, a dessert, whatever. Whether I'm eating intuitively or following a plan, there will be times when I must decline a food. It sucks. But everyone who has a normal weight does it. <3 Sarah

Hello Sarahkay,
That is so true! For me it's not as easy as it sounds but it is true. I wish you success.

[sarahkay]

Thanks guys! And yes, dana2012, that was my biggest realization. I was diet hopping trying to find ways to not have to say no! Needless to say, it wasn't working!!

And yes, Amy, I am ready to try again. I think it does take several attempts, and I think sometimes stepping away and trying to do it our own way makes us realize that sometimes we need structure.

Tuesday October 2: Success!

It was an interesting day... lesson learned: bagels do not fill you up!

I ate a blueberry bagel for breakfast, went to my first class, came home and I was STARVING!! So I ate lunch around 11:30. That made me hungry for dinner around 4:30... but I had to leave for another class. So I decided to wait. The hunger disappeared for a bit, and by the time I was approaching the house it had returned. And dinner was waiting! Yesss!

I also noticed I felt content and happy at stopping after my one plate. I mean, I would have loved some more mashed potatoes... but I kept thinking of how I would feel a bit uncomfortable if I did.

I love this! I'm also trying to really make an effort to putting my energy into things that matter. For the past 6 months or so, I have absolutely OBSESSED about my body, weight loss, diets, etc. I was so upset and I felt terrible about myself. But now I am trying to use all that energy on things that are really important to me! I am putting that energy into studying for my classes, exercising, hobbies, whatever! It is a challenge, but it is a positive and happy challenge, rather than the sad and defeated feeling I had putting my energy into weight loss and worrying about my body.

I am also learning to love my body and not deny myself happy experiences with it. Fall is my favorite time of year, and I realized I was so negative about my body that I wasn't enjoying the feeling of cool air on my face, or walking down the sidewalk and purposefully crunching every single leaf.

While I am changing my weight, I am focused on how my body feels, on having normal eating habits so I don't have to stress about when or how much to eat, and on feeling great no matter what my size is.

<3 Sarah

[sarahkay]

Wednesday October 3: Fail

Huge lunch, and cheesecake for dinner...

But tomorrow is a new day. Even with the oopsies today, I ddin't eat for quite a while after the large lunch, and then I only had a normal portion of cheesecake and stopped. Even with a fail, I had small successes.

[oolala53]

Sarahkay, I hope hope hope you stick to this through all its phases to get where you want to go. You sound so much like I did thirty years ago, but I didn't have No S. Correction, I had a version of it but I doubted too much and let it go. Well, even God can't change the past, and it must have all happened for a good reason.

I, too, realized that every time I lost weight, it was during the time in the "diet" that my initial motivation made it rather easy, and temptation didn't have much power. As soon as that was over, I crumbled. Now I am a huge believer in the power of No when it HARD to say no-- as long as we're being reasonable and fair. Saying No to food to keep to 1,000 calories a day (for most people- short women excepted) is not fair. Saying no to S's when I'm getting three moderate meals a day is eminently fair.

I know some women swear by letting it all hang out to their mates, but I wore one very good boyfriend out with this issue. Now I keep my discussions to one or two good girlfriends and two boards online. However, once the ring is on....

Regarding the youtube channel, I respectfully suggest that you record for a minimum of 6 months but only post after that. Or perhaps at your first 10% loss. Have you ever seen how many posts there are on Amazon from people who have been on a diet for three weeks and are convinced this is it? Then why are so many people heavier two years after they begin a diet?

It is especially hopeful, IMHO, that you are seeing that you need to live life in between your meals, including increasing the number of areas in your life that you feel contentment and pleasure. Sometimes that happens by finding new activities, and sometimes by reframing how we think about the mundane. I believe that very much helped me in these last 33 months. I hope you won't have to wait until you're 56, as I was, to learn it.