Linda's daily check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Post by eschano » Tue Mar 11, 2014 3:25 pm

I think you did the right thing. Keeping toxic friends around is just not worth it. Although, she's probably a bit upset now and don't worry too much if she comes back harshly or not at all.
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 11, 2014 3:45 pm

Thanks eschano.

I did think long & hard about this and do think it's the right thing to do. Besides I can't really even have her over to our house so doesn't make for much of a friendship. I invited her once to Hanukkah dinner and my DH & my mother were so appalled by her behavior that I know he would not be happy if I ever invited her again.

Not a fun email to write but I'm sure she'll be fine.
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Post by chani8 » Tue Mar 11, 2014 9:20 pm

You did the best you could about that friend, Linda. It's so hard to push people away, but someone who is toxic is not worth the energy. Good for you, and this was a seriously big LAM if you ask me.

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Post by jw » Tue Mar 11, 2014 11:27 pm

My sympathies there, Linda -- having just gone through a similar ending of a toxic friendship, as you know, I think it is so worth it! Awkward, painful, but you do feel better about yourself --
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Mar 12, 2014 12:29 am

You are a brave and (always) inspirational woman, Linda!
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Post by Sweetness » Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:15 am

Lpearlmom wrote:Oh boy. I just emailed that too talkative friend and told her I need to focus on making new friends in my new neighborhood and that i would still like to get together a couple times a year. I feel terrible but had to done I think as she's not the type to take subtle hints. Not sure I'm going to even want to read the email response.

Oh brother!
She probably needed to hear this. And you probably needed to set some boundaries. :roll:
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:20 am

Wow thanks for all the support. I was reading that as women get older they tend to weed out those relationships that are draining them and focus on the ones that nourish them. I guess I'm learning to do that finally.

Looking back I see it's been a pattern of mine to get drawn into these kinds of friendships. I'm definitely that "firefighter" friend that Tessy describes. I guess I like to be needed but then the needing never stops as these friends tend to have non-stop drama. Anyway I'm really appreciating the good friendships I do have and excited about opening the door to new possibilities.

I haven't heard anything back from her so you were right on target eschano. I thought I'd feel terribly guilty but I don't. That tells me I did the right thing.

Today was a good day. Got my taxes done. What a relief. Lots of weights being lifted today I guess.

Break: muesli w almond milk & fruit
Soy mocha
Lunch: veggie & rice bowl, honeydew melon, black bean & quinoa chips
Dinner: hot dog & popcorn
(Took my girls & 3 of their friends to a movie and they all stayed for a sleepover--oh boy!)
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Post by eschano » Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:22 am

I love that feeling of a great weight lifting off my shoulder. And sometimes I didn't even realise how much something weighted me down - especially friends who need constant support.
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 13, 2014 4:26 am

Definitely a good feeling eschano!

Today was a good day. The girls went swimming with their sleepover friends this morning (spring break) and we were all so exhausted when they finally left at noon that we sat around and watched movies for the rest of the day. So nice to have a peaceful house again.

Break: toast w almond butter & honey, 1/2 mango, soy mocha
Lunch: rice & veggies, avocado, chips, handful rice crackers & wasabi peas
Dinner: pulled pork, tortilla, chips & guacamole (I swear I must be 50%?avocado at this point), glass of cassis

Been a busy Spring Break and I promised the girls one more sleepover on Saturday. We let Zoe out of her grounding one day early for good behavior and boy was she grateful. No issues w her this week.

Lam: bubble bath!
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Post by chani8 » Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:35 am

Love the LAM!! A bubble bath. Wow. I don't even have a bathtub here. Ugh. Monthly trips to the local mikva are my only bath opportunities. The mikva lady probably wonders why I take so long. . . lol.

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Post by eschano » Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:54 am

Oh Linda, you and your girls! They sound delightful :)
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:36 pm

mmmmm avocados
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 14, 2014 5:53 pm

That's funny chani! I probably shouldn't also mention that it's an oversized jetted tub then? :oops: truth be told though, I don't use it nearly as much as I should!

Thank you eschano! It's been a good week although a rough morning. Ah well!

Auto :) In college DH & I lived in this house that had a fig tree in front & an avocado tree in back. Now that was heaven!

Yesterday:

Break: muesli w almond milk & fruit (seriously getting tired of this!)
Lunch: tofu in rice wrappers w peanut sauce, veggies & grains
Dinner: burritos in green chili sauce, 2 glasses wine

Exercise: Talia wanted to play Coach so ran me through a series of exercises: jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, stretching. Was fun, but boy am I out of shape. :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:03 am

Break: toast w almond butter, honey & sliced bananas, soy mocha
Lunch: roasted veggie salad w miso dressing, sugar free iced blended mocha
Dinner: hamburgers, fries

LAM: pedicures w my girls, watched downtown abbey
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Post by automatedeating » Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:35 pm

nice LAMs! I love Downton Abbey! My 8 yr old teases me at the dinner table and says, "I'm eating like the people on Downton Abbey!" and then he daintily pats the corners of his mouth with his napkin. The other funny thing he says is "Oh, Downton Abbey is on--who will get married or die during this episode?"
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:40 pm

Lol that is hilarious. He sounds like a lot of fun auto. And yes, I'm enjoying it. DH always has some series he is currently watching (usually sci-fi) so I finally decided it was my turn!
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:43 pm

Was writing this as a reply on someone else's thread, but it got much too long winded so am putting it here:

In fact there's pretty much a whole book written about the fact that you can be healthy but technically overweight or even quite a bit overweight if we're active and eat reasonably healthy meals. It's called The Diet Myth by Paul Campos

http://www.amazon.com/The-Diet-Myth-Obs ... 159240135X

He also tears apart the bmi ideals and shows how plenty of people we'd consider healthy (famous athletes, brad Pitt--I think), would be considered overweight according to the latest bmis. He also shows how being underweight is much more dangerous than being overweight. You have to be extremely overweight in order for it to statistically become a serious health problem but only a little underweight. Also as we get older carrying a little extra weight has some health benefits.

Our society is so obsessed with being thin that nobody discusses these realities but Campos book is very well researched. This is why I try not to put too much stake into BMIs or weight, if we're feeling good and have reasonable (not perfect whatever that means) eating & exercising habits than that is all that should matter. The rest is rubbish IMO.
Last edited by lpearlmom on Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by automatedeating » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:59 am

Yes!!
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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Mar 16, 2014 4:36 am

Good S day. This is the first weekend that I was NOT anxiously awaiting the weekend. I do see how your S & N days could start to resemble each other although I didn't think this was possible before now.

Break: bagel, w lox & cream cheese, mocha
S: mocha, small bowl of truffles & dots (couldn't finish)
Lunch: ham sandwich, pate on crackers
S: small bowl nuts
Dinner: pizza, root beer , wine
Dessert: cookies & milk

Ready for Spring break to b over!!
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:46 am

Good S day--yay! I really had no desire to begin my usual S day snackathon. I just kept thinking how it would just spoil my dinner. I guess maybe the reinforcement of good feelings after waiting between meals has finally paid off or starting to at least. Meals are so much more enjoyable when you're properly hungry.

Break: pancakes, mocha
Lunch: beef jerky, Gatorade (we were out on our quads)
Dinner: hamburger, fries, a beer

Okay the one thing I did notice about this weekend I'd that it's seriously missing is any fruits or veggies. Will keep an eye on that next weekend.
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Post by eschano » Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:11 am

Thanks a lot for posting a link to the book Linda. I'll check it out! While I do agree I also feel a lot healthier since I'm on NoS and have hit my healthy BMI. My natural set-point isn't overweight as I had to do a lot of snacking to keep it up. But it will never be in the lower categories either and I couldn't care less. I think it's a good measurement for many if not all people if they accurately describe their level of fitness. Brad Pitt for example would classify himself as an athlete and all bets would be off. But for people who are not athletes I think it's a good wake-up call when you find yourself in the obese category for example. A little extra fat is great - I love my curves. A lot isn't though and I don't believe that is a thinness-obsession, it actually makes you feel heavy= abd makes you not want to move, talking from my personal experience only.

Still, delighted that this book is out as I agree with the obsession of thinness being unhealthy. I wish there was no photoshop on any magazine titles and accepted people with a healthy weight but no lower-end-of BMI on television. Nowadays it's either extremely thin or fat people. I'm missing the healthy ones.
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:34 pm

Hi eschano

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight. I love NoS for many reasons but of course I hope to lose weight too! I just think it's important to remember just because you're thin doesn't mean you're healthy and just because you haven't reached some magic number doesn't mean you can't still be perfectly healthy.

There are of course health problems that can be relieved by losing a little weight but I also think there's a psychological aspect to losing weight and this can be a big part of why we feel better after we lose weight.
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Post by eschano » Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:34 pm

I completely agree with that! I am a big advocate of healthy over thin. Thankfully, some rolemodels are starting to emerge. Thanks again for posting the link!
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Post by jw » Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:48 pm

Thanks for looking in, Linda -- sorry to hear you are going through the same transition with your father-in-law. I think the hardest thing is that they feel they have no more control or autonomy. My mother even said, "Well, I can't even try gluten free now, I won't have any say in what I eat." Maybe I'll turn her on to No S, which she can control!
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:24 am

jw, what a fascinating idea! I am just mulling over your casual comment that NoS can give control where otherwise there is not. So many aspects of this I thought I was familiar with, but you have introduced me to another one (as in the example of your mother being able to have some "control" over her meals by following NoS).
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:25 am

Whoops, this is Linda's check-in.... :oops: Sorry for my hijack, Linda (although I know you will understand, you always do!)
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:06 am

No biggie at all auto! Pretty mild hijack at that I'd say. ;)


Good day. So nice not to be overly full/sick on a Monday for once.

Break: 2 veg sausages, muesli w rice milk & fruit, 1/2 banana, soy mocha
Lunch: corn & roasted red pepper soup, pumpernickel bagel, handful nuts
Dinner: plate of Panda Express

Annoyed that we've been eating out so much but Spring break threw me off. Hope to get back on track w home cooking soon.

Exercise: 20 mins rowing

Anger: green
Doing a 21 day Anger-free challenge.
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Post by eschano » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:26 am

A 21 days anger-free challenge? Amazing. Let me know how it goes. I'd need that badly but fear I couldn't go for two days haha.
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:56 am

Linda, you've already made it through one green anger challenge right? Good luck on this one! Someday I'll join you...... :)
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:35 pm

Thanks eschano!

Auto: Would love to have you join me. I just did a 21 day of choosing my words carefully when angry. So no put downs or hurtful words when angry. I still did plenty of yelling & what not.

This time I'm trying not to show any outwardly signs of being angry. No eye rolling, snide remarks, snapping etc. of course it's okay to feel angry but trying to find other ways to deal with those feelings--deep breathing, meditating, exercising, or journaling.

I'm sure it'll take me forever to get a 21 day streak but then again I never thought it was possible to change my eating in such a huge way so who knows!

On a funny note, I recently was doing a 21 day "no colorful language" challenge and I proudly told the girls how I made it to nine days. They both looked at each other and then said "uh mom you said about 10 cuss words when you were putting together that Ikea thing last night". Lol I had to laugh!
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Post by automatedeating » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:14 am

OK, Linda, don't tell your daughters, but your post had me LMAO!!!! 8)
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:01 am

Was pretty funny auto esp since I seemed to have completely blocked it out. Next time I think I'll have to declare all Ikea assembling S events. :D

Today was pretty good except for a mini fail. All this talk about smoothie got me to thinking how I should be making them more. So when my girls got home I made them one and some how convinced myself it was no different than a coffee or glass of wine so had a very small one.

It feels too much like a snack though so don't think I can allow this. Next time I'll freeze my portion in a plastic cup.

Break: toast w almond butter, 2 veg sausages, mocha
Lunch: udon noodle soup w tofu, pineapple, handful of wasabi peas
Small mango smoothie :oops:
Dinner: mulligatawny w rice, fish sticks, tater tots

Exercise: 20 mins row
Anger: green
LAM: bubble bath while doing Instagram

I'm pretty tired. Tuesdays our busy day. One daughter has cheer from 5-7, the other gymnastics from 5:30-7. They're not at the same place so it's a lot of running around but worth it as they both enjoy their activities so much.

I'm pretty proud of myself for still managing to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, do story time and not have a single patience losing incident. Yay! :D :D
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Post by eschano » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:33 am

Wow Linda, it sounds stressful and you got so much done and yet didn't lose your patience?? Awesome GREEN day on your 21 days without anger.

Yeah, I'd say a smoothie is a fail but a very very tiny one! (and healthy and yummy) but good to have a strategy in place.
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Post by automatedeating » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:38 pm

That's funny I was thinking about some smoothie making too. Maybe weekends. If it wasn't so cold here, I'd like them for breakfast.
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:48 am

It's already in the 80s here so makes a great afternoon snack for the girls. Helps me feel reassured that my non-milk drinker is getting enough calcium too.

Good day. Definitely caught myself getting angry a few times but was able to quickly regain my composure. Learning a lot about myself with this challenge. It's great not to have to carry around the guilt that comes with losing one's cool.

Break: muesli w rice milk, toast w almond butter, mocha
Lunch: cashew ginger carrot soup, roll, handful macadamia nuts, apple
Dinner: bean & beef burrito, chips & salsa, margarita (yep & not calling it a fail:p

Exercise: row 20 mins

Anger: Green
Lam: nothing; DH came home early today but yesterday decided to schedule some down time during the day before girls come home instead of my nonstop chore schedule!

I also made up a 7 week rotation menu for dinners--yay!
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Post by automatedeating » Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:56 am

Great stuff, Linda!

I love your LAM!

Oh, my. Your comment about learning about yourself and not carrying around guilt.....that has been the most persuasive comment you've made about your anger challenge! I would LOVE to drop some of my post-anger anxiety. I'd like to drop it like a lead weight in a very deep ocean.

Should we mark margaritas as red? Oops. I'm glad I never knew that when I would have cared. :) Now I guess I've made my own workable and "guilt-less" version of NoS. Margaritas are definitely allowed!
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Post by chani8 » Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:52 am

A seven week rotation menu - wow! :)

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Post by eschano » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:24 am

I'm in awe of the seven week rotation menu as well! Amazing :)

I guess the anger challenge counts as LAM as well?

Auto, I never count drinks as long as I stick to two and it doesn't taste like dessert (a bailey's cocktail would be a dessert for me but a classic straight margharita is fair game in my books). As I have a long commute and like staying in some weekends my social life is on weekdays. I wouldn't like to restrict myself like that.
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Post by jw » Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:31 pm

Catching up, Linda -- hats off to you if you can do a "No cussing" mod! the anger challenge is a real challenge. Good for you for that one!!
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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:45 am

Thanks all!

Busy last couple of days but all is well. Learning to handle things more calmly has been powerful. More on that later. I did have two red days with my anger but minor fails. One was with a rude sales lady. I stooped to her level & was rude right back to her. The other was tonight when I got snippy with my daughter for wanting to use my iPad.

I'm glad margaritas aren't red because I had another one last night. :lol:

Today was good. I'm so proud of myself for finally getting a handle on my S days. No LAM in fact frustrated because I felt like someone needed something from me every second of the day.

Oh well at least DH made dinner. Also, Last night the girls were at a sleepover so DH and I went quading then out to dinner. I was exhausted when we got home so took a bubble bath. Lots of LAMS!

Breakfast: piece of chocolate, turkey bacon break sandwich
Lunch: chips, & dip, 2 tacos, iced tea
Snack: muffin, choc covered espresso
Dinner: pot stickers
Dessert: ice cream w fudge sauce

Oh yes super excited about my menu plan. I incorporated everyone's favorite meals at made sure there's at least one thing everyone likes at every meal. I did four days of cooking, one leftover night & two eating out nights (fri & sat). I even did weekly breakfast & afternoon snack menus. I think this will really streamline the process of getting food on the table. Oh & the seventh week is free choice so I can still have a chance to try out new recipes.
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Post by automatedeating » Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:29 pm

Holy S**t, you are flylady in disguise aren't you?! See, now you have me cussing in almost every post. :lol: :lol:

I had to laugh when I saw "postickers" for dinner because you had said your hubby fixed the meal. Right out of the Costco bag, I suspect (I know because it's a staple at our house!!). Now, if you tell me he made those homemade AND he's a busy surgeon, I will absolutely throw in all my towels. 8)
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Post by chani8 » Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:36 pm

I'm going to try to make menu plans, too, Linda, since you've inspired me to get organized. :)

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:57 pm

Lol auto! You must have magical powers to see right into my freezer! I always keep them on hand because it's the one thing DH always agrees to cook. Plus the girls love them (and me!).

Btw, for full disclosure I gave up on my cussing challenge right after the ikea escapade! As long as I'm not saying it angrily at someone, it's all good!

Chani: so happy you decided to try the menu thing. Let me know how it goes for you. I'm going to keep a running notebook so I can tweak recipes till I get them exactly how everyone likes it!
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:01 am

Oh well I guess I was a little to overconfident yesterday about my S days, because I totally overdid it today. I basically spent the entire day in the kitchen cooking which meant lots & lots of nibbling took place. Ah well still happy my S days are slowly improving overall.

Break: eggs Benedict sans sauce x 2, mocha
Lunch: chips & homemade onion dip, grapes, pickle
Dinner: Indonesian Ginger chicken, rice, broccoli & garlic salad,
Dessert: homemade espresso ice cream

( and countless tastes of food while I was cooking all day)

Yay for Mondays!

Anger: Green. Restarting my 21 day challenge!
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Post by eschano » Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:12 am

Home made espresso ice-cream?? YUM!!!

I think those over-the-top S days are needed from time to time. The frequency goes down anyways but once in a blue moon it's a great pressure release!
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Post by chani8 » Mon Mar 24, 2014 9:25 pm

Oh, it's ice cream time already?! Time to get my ice cream maker out. We usually make mint ice cream, which is great on a hot day. But since I've been off coffee, I could really go for espresso ice cream. The main reason I stopped the coffee, is because I just chug it too fast. With coffee ice cream, I would be able to savor every bite. Yep, I gotta get that on the menu! :) I won't ask for a recipe because I'll surely want to try some weird sugar free recipe. LOL. But, enjoy!! You seem like an awesome chef and you're really inspiring me to get in the kitchen. It's the tasting the outcomes that's the hard part. (Or binging on them. Yikes! How do you only 'taste' them?!)

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 25, 2014 3:58 am

Hi chani

I love mint ice cream but have never made it. Do you use fresh mint or a flavoring? I'd definitely have to throw some chocolate chips in there.

Coffee is the one thing that I don't think I'd ever be able to give up. It's such an important part of my day.

Thanks chani! I'm willing to put a lot of time into cooking but I'm not one of the super creative cooks. I can follow any recipe though! :D

Oh & the way I don't indulge while I'm cooking is one word: WINE! Sipped slowly as I cook.

Today was such a relief after all my snacking yesterday.

Break: muesili w almond milk & fruit, mocha
Lunch: bean tacos. Rice bar, grapes
Dinner: spaghetti & chicken casserole (winner-yay!), olives, chips & onion dip
1 glass of sangria

Exercise: 20 mins rowing

Anger: green. Zoe was super cranky after school but when I don't overreact, the situation doesn't escalate into something ugly. If I just leave it be, she gets over it rather quickly actually. I guess I'm a bigger part of the problem then I cared to admit!
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Post by osoniye » Tue Mar 25, 2014 4:27 am

eschano wrote:Home made espresso ice-cream?? YUM!!!
Indonesian Ginger chicken? Wow. Your check-in thread makes me hungry!
-Sonya
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Post by chani8 » Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:11 am

Linda, I'd chug the wine, too. LOL. I cant seem to drink anything slowly... Maybe if the wine was frozen . . ;)

I use peppermint extract. With coconut cream and a teaspoon of mild flavored olive oil. And that's all. Chocolate chips would take it over the top! I've put crushed cookies in it, too. Yum.

Was your spaghetti and chicken casserole an italian dish?

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:30 am

That sounds delish chani!

Ok frozen margaritas for you then!:) I do drink very slowly so I guess that's my saving Grace. Everyone makes fun of me for milking the same Starbucks coffee all day!

No the casserole is actually from Pioneer Woman. I'm trying to cook more child-friendly meals: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/cate ... _pleasers/
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Post by ironchef » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:53 am

Oh yum! My husband is going to love just about everything on that list you just linked to :)

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Post by chani8 » Tue Mar 25, 2014 11:41 am

Well, Linda, I just served it up - Chicken and Noodle Casserole without the chicken because we ate up all the chicken yesterday. I only had the broth and veggies leftover and didn't know what to do with them, so I just threw in the noodles. It was a big hit! :)

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:46 pm

Eschano: the ice cream was good--barefoot contessa recipe. I'm just hoping over the top S days become the exception rather than the rule.

Sonya: thanks! The chicken was Barefoot Contessa. Super easy & good: http://barefootcontessa.com/recipes.asp ... ID=587&S=0

Iron chef: I love Pioneer Woman. Her recipes never fail me and her chili recipe is a staple in this house.

Chani: awesome! My youngest had three servings. :D
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:06 am

Ugh... What a weird day. I had coffee with a friend this morning whose also a sahm. She told me as soon as all her kids are in school full-time, she will try to find some part-time work. Well it threw me into a weird mood full of angst.

This last year was consumed with moving--finding a house, dealing with the finances, renting out our old house, packing, changing schools etc. I even acted as our real estate agent so it was a full time distraction. Now that we are finally moved in and settled, I think I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the next phase of my life.

I don't want to work even though I often feel like I "should", but I do think I'm ready to expand my life a bit. I'm thinking taking some yoga classes, learning to paint, volunteering for a homeless shelter, learning about opera, starting a blog, becoming better at baking....

Lots of good ideas. I'm ready to sort of reinvent myself and figure out who I want to be for the next 10 years. I'm also having a lot of guilt about that recent friendship I broke off but I'm realizing a lot of my friendships just don't feel very satisfying right now. I think that's because of this shift that's happening inside me. I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of late onset mid-life crisis?

An emotional day that started off with me feeling depressed and anxious and is ending with me feeling hopeful & maybe even a little excited. Somedays I feel like I've lived an entire lifetime in 24 hrs.

Oh and yes my eating was good too! :oops: (sometimes I forget this is a diet board)

Break: oatmeal w fruit & granola, soy mocha
Lunch: tomato soup & black bean tacos w salsa
Another mocha
Dinner: grilled chicken burger w avocado & bacon; fries; d coke

Exercise: none unless you count mentally beating myself up. :wink:
Last edited by lpearlmom on Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by eschano » Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:05 am

Lpearlmom wrote: :oops: (sometimes I forget this is a diet board)
Hahaha, I love that about this board! And I love about NoS that it allows you to focus on all these other, way more important things rather than focus on how many calories are in a grape and whether or not you can afford a second.

Seems like you have plans already and you'll be entering the experimentation-phase. Love that phase and wished I would have allowed myself more of it before uni.

Have fun!
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Post by jw » Wed Mar 26, 2014 3:17 pm

"I think I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the next phase of my life."

This is an exciting time! good for you for knowing what you do and don't want -- no need to measure yourself by what somebody else says they want to do. I am a firm believer in reinventing oneself every ten years or so -- it keeps everyone else on their toes and it gives you the opportunity to really live out all your possibilities!

I also love this diet board for not weighing or measuring or counting, just living life in a sane, balanced way!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:29 pm

Linda, you have so much zest for life! You have so many talents and interests. I can't wait to see which ones you choose to pursue. :)
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Post by ironchef » Thu Mar 27, 2014 1:30 am

One of my friends who has a kid the same age as me just completed a triathlon, plus works 4 days a week. When we catch up I have those same moments of "should I be doing more", but then I remember that I don't actually want her life. Don't "should" yourself into a place you don't want to be.

You have lots of great options on that list of things to try, and I'm sure more will come to mind or come your way. Can I highly recommend volunteering? I've taken the opportunity now that I'm at home with my son and only working part time to volunteer with disabled people who live independently in our community, but can be socially isolated. It's been one of the most interesting and rewarding things I've taken up, and I can include my son and I hope set an example for him of how a good community works, with everyone helping each other.

Oh, and good work on a GREEN day!

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:00 am

Thanks so much for the support & encouragement eschano, JW, auto & iron! It really means a lot to me.

Iron chef: your post really rang true for me. Thanks--I needed to remember that I definitely don't want her life. She is one of the sweetest, most kindest persons I know. Really truly just good to the very core but sometimes I just want to shake her and say "live a little woman! Have a couple tequila shots, jump out of a plane, say a bad word!"

Ok, ok that is neither here nor there I know but the point is I just had a moment of envy when I imagined her doing something important, sipping coffee at her desk and laughing with colleagues. (Yes, I have a very vivid imagination). But I can do those things too if I really want. I can do something important by volunteering (thanks for encouragement iron), I can take up yoga & laugh with the people I meet there or at the very least join in when they're laughing at my complete inability to even touch my toes.

Oh and I have a desk at home so I can sip coffee there while DH sips his coffee at his desk next to me. Only I'll probably be pretending to get some filing done & he'll be watching obscure street performers on you tube. Then again that's probably a lot like a real office. Okay I feel much better now! :)





:D :D
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:06 pm

Forgot to post my eating yesterday but I ended up taking an emergency S day around 4 pm. I know this sounds overly dramatic but I kind of put the clues together & realized that the vegan meals were negatively effecting my moods. I'm susceptible to depression & could feel a bout coming on.

I think it could be from lack of fat or protein or even calories but definitely effecting me. I think I was fine in the beginning when I was eating a lot of avocado & tofu but I kind of got away from that. Anyway going back to regular eating for a few days to see if that helps.

Here's yesterday:
Break: oatmeal, mocha
Lunch: corn tortillas with pinto beans & salsa
S: couple bites of hot dog, two chocolate truffles
Dinner: pasta with spinach & feta cheese, corn casserole, bread, wine cooler
Dessert: couple bites of ice cream, 3 choc kisses

My mood is stabilized & I don't regret taking the S day at all. I rather be fat than depressed any day. Okay back to normal NoS. *phew*
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Post by chani8 » Thu Mar 27, 2014 7:14 pm

Linda, I could relate so much to your post about trying to figure out the next phase of your life. I've been having a midlife crisis for the past 3 years and I still don't have any clarity. For me, I think I'm missing some intellectual stimulation, or something challenging to overfocus on. Can I ask you what you do to stimulate your mind?

Good catch on the diet-depression thing. Diet can certainly affect mood. And fats and protein are what keep me calm. I've increased my carbs by a lot recently, and now I'm pretty much a wreck, so I'm working hard to get the fat in there. Today I added olive oil to my bowl of cornflakes and milk. LOL. Seriously, it helped. Anyway, one needs to find balance, somehow. :)

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Post by automatedeating » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:47 pm

Hi Linda,
Good catch about the emergency S Day and how low-fat, high-carb can mess with your mood. It's awesome how NoS can help us listen to our bodies.

Somewhere someone posted about how isn't it cool how NoS helps us learn so much about ourselves in lots of non-food areas?
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Post by jw » Fri Mar 28, 2014 10:36 am

It's great that you can allow yourself to experiment with what works -- and that you realized the food - mood connection! Bravo!
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Post by eschano » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:12 pm

You're such an inspiration. It's great to read your thread as you are so aware of yourself and of what works and doesn't work and you have the courage to try out all kinds of good ideas and learn if they are good practice for you.
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:00 pm

Chani: it's good to know I'm not alone & also a good reminder that it might take a good while to figure this all out.

Thanks for the support on my mood issue. Definitely feeling better. I just need to remember to include the veggies & grains that I was enjoying from my vegan meals. Wholesome, well-balanced meals it is!

We have family staying for the weekend so will be a welcome distraction from my crazy self-analysis! :D
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Post by ironchef » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:23 pm

Glad to read you are feeling better, and great self awareness to take the S when you needed it. To me that's what being moderate is all about.

Have a wonderful weekend enjoying your family!

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:39 am

Thanks iron chef!

Week 35 (stealing autos idea)

Break: scrambled eggs, toast, oj
Nonfat mocha
Lunch: hamburger w avocado on half a bun; yogurt w fruit & granola
Dinner: Swiss steak, mashed potatoes, onion roll & broccoli w cheese, glass of milk

Exercise: 20 mins rowing

I've been having a lot of guilt & anxiety about my choice not to work. Life is funny sometimes but my daughter came up to me tonight, hugged me a told me she didn't want to get a job & I was silly for feeling guilty about it (apparently she saw some of my web searches). My younger daughter got wind of what was going on and started tearing up at the thought of me not being home so I feel a little better knowing at least they like having me around. After all they are the reason for my decision.
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Post by ironchef » Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:08 am

Lpearlmom wrote:I've been having a lot of guilt & anxiety about my choice not to work. Life is funny sometimes but my daughter came up to me tonight, hugged me a told me she didn't want to get a job & I was silly for feeling guilty about it (apparently she saw some of my web searches). My younger daughter got wind of what was going on and started tearing up at the thought of me not being home so I feel a little better knowing at least they like having me around. After all they are the reason for my decision.
Aww. That is so adorable. I'm tearing up a little just reading it. What sweeties!

Also, you're making a choice, but it's not a final, irrevocable choice. At the risk of sounding silly, for most of us life is really long. You've decided it's best for you, and your family, not to do (paid, outside of the home) work at this time. That's all. You didn't get a tattoo* or anything**. You can come back to that decision any time if you need to.

*Actually, I'm pretty sure tattoo removal is quite good these days.

** I don't have anything against tattoos, I was just trying to think of a decision that was permanent but not depressing.

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Post by chani8 » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:17 am

LOL ironchef! I had tattoos and got them removed, but it was a cute comment! :)

Linda, I made the choice years ago to stay home, too, and for us that meant poverty even, but I don't regret it and my kids benefited from my being there when they got home. My first was a daycare baby and that, I do regret, even though I more than made up for it later. Just today my oldest and I were discussing her options for college and came to the conclusion that choosing a career where she could work from home if she wanted to, was the way she would want to go. Those of us who have this stay-at-home luxury are very blessed. My mother had to work three jobs to support us. We ate a lot of Dominos Pizza because she worked there in the evenings after her day job at the phone co.

Oy, did I talk too much? :oops: The problem with being a SAHM is the social isolation. :wink:

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Post by eschano » Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:21 am

I wouldn't waste a second feeling guilty. You're amazing and it's your life. You do whatever you and your family want!
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:54 pm

Hi Linda,
I feel like I might be posting the same things I have posted before, but......
you are giving your children a wonderful gift by being a stable force in their home life. That gift will keep on giving through their ENTIRE life. Hundreds of times they will have discussions with friends about how their mom was home when they got home from school. They'll admit that yes, their mom made dinner every night. Stories about special Valentine's Day Parties will emerge. Their own family lives will be more stable--what you are doing now will benefit future generations--will benefit your grandbabies! :)

Why do people work? Generally, to make money. If they are fortunate enough to find a job that they also love, wow--that is pretty special! That is what we aim for, but many sadly don't find that perfect match of job and life calling. My dad's advice to me was to always follow my dreams. The money will follow. In your family's case, your husband is doing what he loves, you are doing many things you love, and the money is adequate for your needs. Sounds pretty great to me.

Ignore the noise! Ignore what anyone else is making you feel about this issue. Listen to your heart. Follow it.
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Apr 02, 2014 5:27 am

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom & encouragement. Financially we are fine without me working but I have these times where I feel like I should (emphasis on should ) be doing more with my life. The problem is the times that I did work or go to school, all I could think about was how much I wanted to be home with my kids.

It's hard to feel so torn all the time, but I'm feeling much better after thinking about all the replies. I'm not bored staying home but chani you're right about the social isolation. I do get lonely sometimes esp since the move. I looked into some yoga classes nearby & even found someone who may go with me (if not I'll still go). I'm also going to make a point of meeting up with a friend once/wk for coffee or lunch.

Auto: thank you so much. I think it's the kind of thing I just need to hear over & over. My mom was a single mom and as a result our household was a bit chaotic. She's amazing & very loving but I so longed for the structure and harmony that my other friends seem to have. I wanted to come home to a clean organized house & a healthy afternoon snack. I longed for a stocked frig and clean clothes. I guess I'm giving my kids the childhood I always wanted for myself.

I love what your Dad told you about following your bliss. I'm going to work on mastering some things that I have an interest in because I think what I really long for is to be good at something other than mothering & managing a household (both which I'm proud of btw). Maybe when the girls are older I'll want to develop it into something that brings in income or maybe not but will help fulfill whatever I feel is missing for now. Yes I need to quiet the noise--my brain is on overtime lately!

Iron: my girls are pretty sweet. I feel very lucky to have them. And you definitely didn't offend me with the tattoo comment. I don't have any but don't have anything against them either. They're just too permanent I think for me but you're right my decision doesn't have to be!

I think that is both a blessing and a curse though sometimes. It's the constant wondering that gets to me. Sometimes I think it'd be better if I'd just make the decision to take the whole thing off the table for a few years. Ah well maybe I'll do just that.

Eschano: thank you for your constant positive attitude. You're always so uplifting! :)

Anyway now that I've written a novel to the NoS part of my thread. :oops:

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Lunch: small hamburger patty on half bun, corn on cob, watermelon, yogurt
Another mocha
Dinner: beef stroganoff, noodles, peas
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Post by eschano » Wed Apr 02, 2014 9:23 am

Hi Linda,

It's funny, I'm in a job and I still think "I should be doing something more with my life". My friend just got named "Young xx of the year" in her industry. She told me yesterday she feels like she's not doing enough with her life (totally ridiculous that is of course).

I think we're all so brainwashed with weird definitions of what success is, we'll always hold ourselves to a higher standard than what we achieve, no matter how good we become. This driving force is a good one and enables us to reach our full potential but sometimes you have to know when to shut it up and just practice a bit of buddhist bliss, otherwise happiness falls by the wayside and in the end - don't we all want to be successful in order to be happy? ;)
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Post by ironchef » Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:11 am

Eschano, I agree.

Seems there is a bit of a theme developing here - I just posted on auto's thread about the drive to do more / be better and how sometimes we need to take a break and sit with and enjoy what is.

On the topic of following your dreams / interests: when we were little, my mother was home with us. She got involved in local projects like new gardens and playgrounds at our school, bush regeneration on the river foreshore. As a result she realised she had a passion for landscaping and environmental design, and went back to re-train when I was in college. She graduated with a Bachelor of Landscape Architecture at 52, and has run her own business ever since. I don't think this ever would have happened if she'd kept working at her original career (child psychology).

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Post by eschano » Thu Apr 03, 2014 9:02 am

Ironchef: your mum rocks!!!
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Apr 04, 2014 5:11 am

It's so true eschano, we're always striving for more which is okay as long as we're not letting it get in the way of enjoying what we already have. That's the key I guess otherwise whats the point of all this striving, right?

Iron: that's such an inspirational story about your mom. I will carry that with me as a reminder that I still have so many opportunities available to me ahead. Plenty of lives to live still. :)

Well on another note, today was a big fat red day :oops:

I went to target and bought a few shirts which sent me into a state of despair for some reason. I felt like I should be in a smaller size by now and I'm suddenly very worried I haven't lost any weight.

Feeling discouraged I ate a couple of choc chips. I mean why do all this if I'm not even losing weight? I know, I know...but I'm just having a moment of panic here. Then I ate a piece of banana bread fresh out of the oven.

I tell everyone else not to focus on weight too much but it's not always easy. And I'm afraid to actually weigh myself. If I haven't lost weight, will I ditch all this & go on some crazy diet? That'll prob be my first response but it'll be short lived. Okay I need to just keep on keeping on and not stress.

Break: poached egg, toast, oj
Lunch: beef stroganoff, banana
S: couple choc chips, piece banana bread :oops:
Dinner: burrito as big as my thigh--ugh, chips & guacamole
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Post by chani8 » Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:00 am

You and me both, Linda. :oops: Half of a fresh, hot out of the oven chocolate zucchini cake last night. :( :shock: And the scale starts to climb.

Feelings and fresh baked goodies are a setup for failure, I guess.

If you are healthy, there is no reason for a crazy diet. The No S works because it cuts excess calories without needing to count calories. (It's brilliant, actually!) If you're not losing on vanilla No S, then examine what you could do to make it work better for you. Since it really is all about calories, it is affected by portion size and quality of food. The higher quality of the food, the more calories, so the portion size may need to be adjusted. Or, if you're like me, it's the 'permitted' drinks that pile on the excess calories.

. . . Or lately for me, it's from too many binges (red days). :(

The point is, there is excess somewhere, and you simply need to examine your daily and weekly menu to figure out where the excess is coming from, and adjust accordingly. Much easier than taking on a crazy diet.

I do hope that your worry is for nothing, though, and that you see good news on that scale. Here's to hope.

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Post by eschano » Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:44 am

Linda, I completely relate to your fail. This kind of selfsabotage is what I often do ;)

Don't be harsh to yourself about it. As for not losing weight: you might just be on a plateau. Your body needs time to understand all your new habits. My plateaus have lasted for months and months and suddenly the weight came off, everything else equal. It's worth sticking it out!

On another note: if you would like to think about your nutrition then the only thing I can personally see in your diet that I would consider an S is bananabread. It's quite calorieheavy so personally I'd only have it on weekends, however, you might have completely different bananabread than what we have here in the UK in which case completely disregard ;)

You'll get there, don't panic, just stick it out! You're amazing!
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:54 pm

Thanks for the replies chani & eschano! Good to know I'm not alone in having these kinds of moments.

I don't actually know for sure what my weight has done or not done since I haven't weighed myself since starting NoS. So it's a bit of a leap of faith here. I try to go by size and how I look but sizes are all over the place depending on brand and ones mind has a way of playing tricks on oneself.

I do know for sure I've lost some because of improved comfort in certain sitting & laying down positions but have no clue how much. I may have gained a tiny bit back as I'm coming off the vegan kick and just growing weary in general.

It doesn't matter. I'm regrouping and tightening the boundaries back up. It'll be fine. This is def the right path for me!

Linda

Oh btw, eschano, the banana bread was my red moment. It was meant for my kids after school snack (& some to be saved for me for this weekend) :oops:
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Post by automatedeating » Fri Apr 04, 2014 11:34 pm

Hi Linda!
My, I can really relate to your fears and discouragements! NoS is so different than anything else most of us have ever tried that it constantly bumps up against the Western "Get it done now!" ideal.

I was with a sister-in-law this week and she is beautiful and works out and eats healthy. I felt like an unattractive, dumpy whale next to her. She takes really good care of herself. I should take better care of myself. Whoops, excuse that tangent. I should put that on my own check-in but I'm too tired to even do it (we just got home tonight). :roll:
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Apr 05, 2014 4:35 am

I'm sure you're not dumpy compared to anyone auto! I should take better care myself too. It's hard because there's just so many dang things to take care of--kids, house, finances, husbands, cars... It's easy to put yourself last.

Today I did put myself first though and it was well worth it. I booked myself an appt with the nicest hair salons in the area and asked for their best hair stylist. Wow, it was well worth it. The place was beautiful and everyone was so nice & attentive. My stylist made me feel so comfortable and did an amazing job. I felt so good when I left. I went next door to Chicos and saw some great clothes in my size. Didn't buy anything but made me feel better knowing I have some good choices.

Today was really good. I realized I've been too lax with tasting food during cooking and my beverages have gotten a bit out of hand. I'm going back to my super strictness and hopefully I can get more consistent with my exercise.

Break: toast w macadamia butter& 1/2 banana; latte
Lunch: 6 pieces sushi; sugar-free mocha
Dinner: plate of Hawaiian BBQ
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Post by oolala53 » Sat Apr 05, 2014 1:32 pm

I somehow lost track of your thread and have been catching up.

Just want to say, my mother stayed home. My sister was the one who told her she felt funny when she went to a friend's house after school (in high school) and the girl's mom wasn't home. Yet my sister worked all the time her kids were growing up. I have found myself many times as an adult wishing my mom had worked because I was never around a woman who balanced work and home life. (I blame the fact that apparently my sister didn't need that on the fact that she's the oldest and I'm the youngest. Actually, now at age 60 I can't say I really know why anything happened the way it did. We love to find reasons but they are mostly conjecture.) I think my point is you can't be everything to everybody, and most things can be negotiated. If you find an interest, paid or not, that draws you, you'll work things out.
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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Apr 06, 2014 2:45 pm

Thanks oolala! I did work as a teacher when my first daughter was a baby. I had to because my DH was doing his residency and made very little. When my oldest was three I went to & completed culinary school and even worked in the kitchen at an upscale french restaurant for a bit. Both were rewarding but my heart wasn't in it and our household was a mess. I wanted to be home with my kids & taking care of things.

My mom was divorced & worked but was a dismal housekeeper and should have kept a better eye on us (I got myself into a lot of trouble in HS) so I had to develop those skills on my own. It's really hard to balance work and home life unless you have a very helpful spouse. I know she did her best though & that's all I really can do. I will definitely work on developing some hobbies/interests though.
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Post by eschano » Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:46 am

Lpearlmom wrote:It's easy to put yourself last.
Today I did put myself first though and it was well worth it.
I often think of it as if you're in an airplane. You know, when they tell you that in case the oxygen fails you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first THEN help others. I think that's fair to say for everything. Don't get me wrong: I'm not talking about selfishness at all. I'd hate that. Just about taking proper care of yourself so you have the strength and health to take proper care of others :)

As for the banana bread: ah well, no biggie! ;)

And about the balance: I have yet to see anyone with any kind of balance, people just make choices that are right or necessary for them and the rest usually falls in place or if not like for the household you grew up in: I'm sure your mum did the best she can and here you are, still alive, which really was her first responsibility ;)
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:31 am

Just for the record I adore my mom and we're very close. My point is no matter what we do, our kids will find fault with something. That's just part of growing up though.

I agree eschano about taking care of oneself first. I'm getting a bit better at it. Little things like taking a shower & starting a pot of coffee before attending to everyone else in the morning can make a big difference.

I'm feeling really burnt out on NoS right now. I'm feeling like I want to take the training wheels off and have a little more freedom & flexibility with my eating. Not sure where I'm going with this but did take the day off and just tried to eat in a way that someone with a healthy relationship with food might.

Break: cereal w fruit, nonfat mocha
Lunch: sushi roll, bowl of soup
Snack: smoothie, handful of nuts
Dinner: hot dog, bowl of soup
Dessert: 3 cookies, tea
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Post by automatedeating » Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:48 am

Hi Linda,
I'm feeling really burnt out on housecleaning right now. :) I put Sink Reflections (the Flylady book) in my Amazon cart to try to motivate myself! So anyhow, I know the "burnt out" feeling, whether it's NoS or cleaning or teaching. :lol:
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Post by oolala53 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:08 pm

Linda, I gently say that slim people in most of the developed world have cultural practices that guide them to have a "healthy" relationship with food. Those practices are not training wheels. The practices are how they live. They don't just rely on intuition and random eating. Being able to do that and stay slim is the exception. People in slim cultures seem to know THAT. There is nothing wrong or unhealthy in a relationship with food based on routines to support moderation.

There are always two NWS days available a month for more casual eating or experimenting.

Please just be aware that the brain patterns of old attachments to food can use tactics such as getting you to think you are being unreasonable and artificial in eating just to to get you to go back to old habits of overconsumption. The patterns don't usually go away; they just get overridden by new ones, and can get recharged rather easily.

I'm grappling with these in a way I haven't had to in 4 years. A perfect storm of other stuff brought the urges back, and it took me awhile to figure it out.

Don't mean to preach. Just want to relieve your sense that you are using No S to avoid being able to use good judgement on your own, as if you need inordinate help. Nearly all human beings need some kind of help to eat moderately. Witness the BMI averages of all countries with easy access to food. Surprisingly few of them have "normal" BMI's. Even many countries with a sizable proportion of poor people have rising overweight/obesity rates. It is very normal and human to overeat when food is readily available! Limiting access is a very healthy way to keep eating to moderate, satisfying levels. Hugs!
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:26 pm

Thanks oolala. You're not preaching. Just trying to help!

I'm still having structure but it's based on the ecsatter method my ellyn satter. I'm just allowing a mid afternoon snack, & single serving sized dessert if I want it (didn't want dessert last night). Instead of relying on one plate to tell me when to stop, I hyper focus on what I'm eating & have found my stopping point (described in her book) which is really cool. So instead of automatically eating everything on my plate, I've been leaving some behind.

I've never been a big sweets person & not been one to go back for 2nds so the hugest thing nos has done for me has to been to give me structure in my eating, taken away my huge permasnacking habit and taught me I can tolerate a little hunger between meals. These things I will carry with me as I try to eat in a way that is more satisfying to me & more in align with my lifestyle & beliefs. Ultimately I've always believed in the body's wisdom.

Probably won't be posting here for awhile but may very well come crawling back in a few weeks! :oops:

Linda
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Post by oolala53 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:25 pm

I have read stuff on Ellyn Satter's site. I like her a lot!

No S doesn't say you have to finish what's on your plate, though I, like Reinhard, tend to do it. A lot of members say they do get to the point at which they just stop when they're full enough. These days, I'm not even hungry before I start, even with very small meals, so I'm not willing to use that. Maybe my hunger will return and I can try that!

Don't blame you for not posting. There's more to life for sure.
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Jan/12-26.8
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Post by Strawberry Roan » Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:02 pm

Linda,

Sounds like you have figured out what works best for you, that is what matters. I knew early on that I didn't really need the No S structure in a strict sense, I love to eat so try to keep it to foods that I know will benefit my body for the most part - and love to exercise.

Like you, what I quickly learned was how much mindless snacking I was doing. Not only am I eating less snacks, I am buying less snacks and dragging home and unloading less snacks. Right now I am one month in on the no diet soda trial - going better than I thought it would. Hope I can quick dragging those cans of Diet Dr. Pepper around as well.

Rarely eat sweets or seconds. Never did the go wild on S days thing so that wasn't an issue.

I do love the forums and the friends I have made here and try to lend support to each of them as they travel the path to a long and healthy life.

Check in with us when you can, many have taken long leaves and returned. You will be welcomed back should you choose to do the same.
Berry

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:41 pm

Thanks oolala & berry!

I know oolala I wouldn't be able to do this if I didn't experience hunger. I actually had a very small afternoon snack yesterday & found I wasn't hungry enough for dinner so it was harder to notice my stopping point. It may be that an afternoon snack won't work for me.

I like having the flexibility to choose though and that's what makes it easy to stop when my internal cues tell me too. I know NoS doesn't say to eat everything on the plate but I usually did! I am ever so grateful to NoS. I wouldn't be able to implement this plan if I hadn't had several months of absolute strictness of the nos rules under my belt.

Thanks so much for the support Berry & good luck with your d soda habit. Sounds like we're on a similar path. I really love this forum too but didn't want to annoy anyone with my new viewpoint. Maybe I can stick around after all!

Linda :)
Last edited by lpearlmom on Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by eschano » Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:59 pm

Linda, you definitely should stick around! While I love Vanilla NoS, mods are completely fair game, especially after having stuck to vanilla for a considerable time.

I wish you from the bottom of my heart that this works for you! For me vanilla is enough but that does not mean I wouldn't support other approached.

I think it could be incredibly useful for others to follow your journey while you are figuring out what does and doesn't work for you, especially if they are considering mods.
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:09 pm

Thank you eschano! This is an approach that has always made sense to me but I was never able to implement due to my strong snacking habit.

I'd love to stick around since nobody seems too bothered. :)
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Post by automatedeating » Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:00 am

Linda, of course we're not bothered. :) We all just loving talking here. I mean, come on, 90% of my thread is about parenting and my ego issues around my job. :) It's a free forum for whatever we want to talk about, after all!
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Apr 11, 2014 4:13 am

Lol so true auto. *hugs*

Today went well. I noticed I really have to protect my appetite because if I don't come to the meal hungry, it's hard to find ones stopping point. This means less drinks between meals and only a very light mid afternoon snack if any.

Break: cereal w fruit; mocha
Lunch: meatloaf sandwich; piece of banana bread;
Dinner: hot dog; cauliflower cheddar soup; lil bit of meatloaf; sangria

funny how I stuck to three meals anyway.

LAM: found this really cool yoga studio & finally took a class there. I was so nervous but it turned out to be an awesome experience. Met some really nice women and the class was great. I'm really proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone today. Something I haven't been doing lately. Yay!
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Post by eschano » Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:19 am

Great LAM! Love it :) I'll try my local gym's yoga on Sunday if I can make the time (It's quite early)
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Apr 12, 2014 3:46 pm

Awesome eschano, let me know if you make it. I'm not much of a morning person but I'm going to try to go Sunday eve. I think it'll be good for my family to function without me sometimes. :wink:

Yesterday went well.

Break: toast w cream cheese; cottage cheese w peaches; mocha
Lunch: chicken salad w quinoa; small cup of soup
Snack: frozen yogurt w fruit
Dinner: bacon burger; chili fries, 1/2 an orange
Dessert: couple bites of dd ice cream


I have to say it's really nice not worrying about green days or red days or trying to figure out exactly what I'm going to want & putting it on one plate. It's nice to just take a little bit of food and then take a little more if I want it.

It's also really amazing to stop when my body tells me to instead of relying on something external to do so. It turns out my body is much more reasonable than I thought it would be and I end up eating reasonable amounts. Something very empowering about that.

It's also, however, equally nice to be able to forget about eating between meals so when I reach my stoping point I'm done & done means done just like in NoS. Kitchen closed till next meal.

I've also realized that it's very unlikely I will lose any more weight and I'm okay with that (for now). I still reserve the right to go back to vanilla nos of it want but for now am in a really good place.

We're taking our quads to the lake for a picnic today. I had to work very hard to protect this day as my oldest is quite the social butterfly but will be worth it. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Linda
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

osoniye
Posts: 1248
Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 2:19 pm
Location: Horn of Africa

Post by osoniye » Sat Apr 12, 2014 4:59 pm

Hi Linda,
I'm glad you decided to stick around. It's great to see how NoS with mods can fit with so many different reasonable diets and systems!
lpearlmom wrote: I noticed I really have to protect my appetite because if I don't come to the meal hungry, it's hard to find ones stopping point.
I'm curious- what are the physical cues you use to recognize your stopping point?
-Sonya
No Sweets, No Snacks and No Seconds, Except (Sometimes) on days that start with "S".

Diligence
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:09 pm

Post by Diligence » Sat Apr 12, 2014 9:04 pm

Linda, I hope you're able to achieve all of your goals, no matter the concept you use to nourish your body. You've been an encouragement to me, and I thank you for that. I agree with others who would like you to stay on the forum; I do hope you'll continue to post here. :)

Strawberry Roan
Posts: 1196
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm

Post by Strawberry Roan » Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:24 pm

Linda, so glad you are sticking around. As I said, I don't actually do the No S plan, I just try to eat as much "good" food as I can and exercise as much as I can. That age old bromide is still true today. Move more than you eat. :wink:



You sound like you are doing fine.
Berry

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