Onceuponatime, not that I remember THAT far back, families lived together forever, babies and everything. As far as I know (I only managed to travel as far as Canada in 50 odd years), in lots of furrin' countries they still do. As far as I can also tell, based on my experience with my surrogate mother the Sicilian, may she rest with the angels forever, various demographic/ethnic groups are particularly family-minded and live in close proximity.Nichole wrote:We're a little OT, bt that's OK.
I just get very down because I think about how we're going to be married and we still haven't a place of our own. I just think about how bad that looks. Everybody who knows we live with his parents has been incredibly understanding, though, so it doesn't make that much sense that I think this way.
And besides 'how it looks,' I just want us to be on our own. We're adults. I hate watching as his brother is planning to get married and they seem to have it all together, while we don't. It stinks. I want to have kids, too! I'd like to have a kid in two or three years. Will we be able to? I don't even know. I hate the uncertain future.
I'm so hungry. I want dinner.
But of course, what Nichole is describing is the American Dream. John Mellenkamp's little pink houses, and the Truman Show's white picket fences.
I don't think it exists anymore for ordinary people. I think it is a myth. One of the things Buddhism is all about is differentiating myth from reality. I've been thinking about other myths I've escaped from in my little life:
(1) Marriage is romantic (in the hollywood sense of the word, i.e, flowers, candy, sweet nothings)
(2) You CAN get a meaningful job and/or keep it
(3) You WILL have a decent retirement
(4) You will be surrounded by a comforting circle of folks with like minds and dreams who will be there to help in a crisis
(5) You can't do a damned thing about your weight unless you starve yourself
I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through a pile of myths to emerge into the bright sunshine of the other side, or how Nichole can feel better in the New Third World.