Hey guys, I really appreciate the comments.
osoniye - I am considering doing the planned meals & planned snacks if I really can't make 3 meals work. I think part of it is just the motivation to really practice this. I like the idea though, so thank you!
ironchef - I was thinking of bringing this up to my doctor, but for some reason I hesitate. I have read it's not a disease, but rather it's like a fever, indicating something else is wrong. I feel like a doctor would think I'm either making it up, or ignoring an obvious answer (...so eat) LOL I don't know how to explain it but I find it embarrassing. Thanks for commiserating about lack of time and toddlers! Worth every task not completed, but can lead to feeling a tad overwhelmed!
eschano - The support means everything! I need it
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I really need to give No S another shot. I say this all the time, but I don't think mentally I really commit to it. I guess calorie counting gave me the best results I've ever had weight-wise and help control symptoms because I could snack if I needed to. But recently nothing is working anymore, and my weight has crept up to 119 this morning. I am not saying it's a bad weight, but it reminds me how fast it comes on and how hard it is to take off. I also find this weight reminds me of a less-than-ideal time in life and I don't want to be reminded of it. I know it's water weight from binging for a few days straight. But it also tells me that whether I eat three meals or calorie count I tend to eventually end up in the same place. It's all so frustrating. I feel like I've wasted years.
On Linda's thread, she explains how the white-knuckling stopped and it became easy with her drinks as a transition from meal to meal. That was really motivating to read. But, I am starting to think I'm WAY TO EASY on myself. And I find the more I dwell on hunger, the more these "symptoms of low blood sugar" present themselves. Maybe it's all in my head. Am I just such a weak person? I am not looking for sympathy, but rather someone to tell me, YES-->JUST STOP IT!!! I need to hear that. I truly give in to every whim at any emotion felt. I notice the successful people don't do that. They commit, end of story. That makes me feel disappointed in myself. I change to calorie counting mid day because it allows me a snack if I feel the need. Bullshit. This is just BS. I have to stop.
I think I might need a 7 day sugar detox just to wean myself a bit. Starting today, I will post my three meals, and try to make them balanced, filling, no overeating, and accepting I may walk away wanting more. What would I do with all that time I am not snacking? I bet it'll feel pretty lonely or irritating at times. I think I also need to drink more water, which I think might also be the culprit. I eat less, therefore ingest less water = symptoms. I want to be as specific as possible here with my food & drink, to see if I can recognize any patterns over the days.
Breakfast: eggs with smoked salmon, small piece of bacon, raspberries/grapes, black coffee, 2 glasses of water
Lunch: homemade guacamole, tortilla chips with skim mozzarella and salsa, baby carrots and rasp/grapes. Sparkling water w/ stevia peach/mango sweetener
Dinner: quinoa puttanesca, rotisserie chicken, salad, homemade bun, sweet potatoes at my mom's house; water
Wow, it's only been half way through the day but I feel GREAT. I actually have stuck completely to one plate, no sweets or snacks. I feel I can do this.
Well, now it's the night time and I am SO PROUD! I DID IT! One day under my belt
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
DH and I took baby for a walk in the downtown part of our city as today is a holiday. We split a Starbucks grande soy caramel macchiato. It totally tided me over to dinner. I feel a bit irritable because I feel empty, or snacky, or just uncomfortable because I am not allowed to have anything else. But DH and I are going to have a glass of really nice red wine on the balcony tonight so I am looking forward to that. I am going to allow drinks at least right now, as I'm thinking at least the "no chewing" aspect won't set me off to snack more and more.