Hi KCCC,
Sorry you're having trouble feeling good about your S-days...
Here's what I'd advise, more or less in order:
1) redouble your focus on N-days.
Your habitcal looks decent, but I don't like to worry at all about S-days if my N-day compliance isn't perfect or close to it, and you're not
quite there yet. Besides the calories you'll directly cut out by stricter compliance, remember that those habits really will carry over to the weekends. The stricter you are on N-days, the more automatic your behavior becomes and the stranger essing will feel on S-days. I don't want to knock your efforts so far -- they've been very good. I'm just saying if you feel more is required, this is where I'd start.
2) Actively reward yourself on S-days instead of trying to just wait it out and hoping you don't get too hungry -- do that and you'll wind up eating a ton of stuff you don't even really want. Instead, treat yourself to an ice cream cone at your favorite gourmet ice cream shop, or whatever dessert you most desire. Spend a few dollars. It's worth it. Binging comes from resentment. If you treat your appetite with respect by proactively rewarding it like this, there won't be any resentment, so there won't be any binge. #1 (being stricter on N-days) also helps in this regard, because if you know you really deserve your S-days because you've been so good on N-days, you're not going to be in this in-between state of wondering whether you really should indulge and enjoy (which can lead to resentment).
3) IF you do 1 and 2 and you still find you are having trouble on S-days, maybe consider limiting yourself to a single essey event per S-day. I hesitate to mention this, because I think there is strong potential for backlash, resentment, and real binging if you add too many extra restrictions. But if the status quo ain't working, then I guess you have to take some calculated risks. Do not do this lightly. Really try #1 and #2 first. Maybe even make a monthly formal resolution about them before you consider this one.
Reinhard