So as some of you know I decided to get rid of all of my smaller, "to wear when I get thin" clothes which leaves me with fewer items and my "fat" clothes.
Since doing no-s my clothes are very tight on me and now my "fat clothes" are too small. Is it possible I have gained weight since doing no-s over the past 6 weeks. It looks like this is in fact the case. I am so upset right now and even though I'm crying out of sheer frustration right now something is telling me to stick with it.
The problem is if I cut back on my caloric intake (I can't start measuring calories as I'm finally starting to get out of diet head) I will be starving and it will set me up for a binge which I don't want to do any longer. If I continue eating the way I am now which I don't actually think is that bad (you can see them in my daily posts) I am concerned that I may even gain weight let alone maintain.
Now I know I need to incorporate excercise but I'm just trying to deal with one thing at a time and I'll start excercising this week - hopefully that will help.
It's bad enough I'm a good 25lbs over my ideal weight and now that I have loosened the grip on this "ideal" I am at least 15lbs over where I need to be. It is just so frustrating. Here I am doing everything I am supposed to do food wise and working so hard to get over this binge eating problem and I was better weight wise when I was restricting and bingeing than I am now building better these better habits.
I don't mean to sound so negative.. it's just so dejecting when I feel I am mentally getting stronger and the efforts are just not showing up physically.
I am sticking this through and I'm not giving up. I just feel frustrated right now.
I guess going back to work a few weeks ago triggered all of this for me because the only work clothes I have are from years ago and it is like a reminder of how much weight I've gained and I know I know it's time to buy new clothes and I realize the sooner I get rid of them all the better but I don't exactly have a lot of money to do this all at once. I guess the realization of how much I have gained has just struck me and I just want to get some of it off.
Sorry, again for such a long and pathetic post. I can imagine you are all sick of me and the things I go on about. I just don't have much of an outlet for these feelings and I just want this way of eating/living to work for me and I know it's still early days but I would love to see some results already.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)