Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 252 Location: In Transit
Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:02 pm Post subject:
This is definitely something I need to hear right now, even though the holiday madness has only just begun (here in the NLs we've been inundated by tiny spice cookies that won't stop being thrown at you, literally, until Dec. 5th, when the xmas goodies come into season).
What's been getting me down is a few stress-related failures. Instead of saying: "now the going is tough, I'll get going" and feeling proud about how I resisted temptation, I've been giving in and I've been rationalizing. Thanks to No-S, though, I've been hearing the rationalizations, and trying to negate them. this is the text in my head:
Oh, come on, take today as an S day and do an N day tomorrow.
Oh, come on, you can get back on track after the holidays.
Oh, come on, it's not that big a deal, what's a slip up or three?
Oh, come on, you can start again with the next meal.
It's sooooo hard just to say: Look, see this as what it is: a failure to live up to the promises you've made to yourself.
I do, however, feel that it's extra hard starting No-S just before the holiday season, and a vacation with my gourmand hubby, as I don't yet have habit as an ally. Darn!
And I am laughing a little, b/c I gave up New Year's Resolutions in favor of "Habits of the Month" about 3 years ago... and feel I have done much better that way. Great minds...
My rule: No more than two monthly habits. preferably in different areas of my life, at a time. Mind you, I can be in maintenance on others, but I can't build more than two at once. (I know myself. It's easy for me to set impossible goals and beat myself up when I can't reach them. So, limits are important.)
Some habits are really easy to maintain - flossing more regularly was a cinch, once established. Others recur on a pretty regular basis (exercise, most notably, when I start getting slack). But at least I get back to those things as needed rather than waiting a year. My general pattern is better, even in the areas that keep needing attention.
And you're also right about re-setting expectations. Yesterday, I ate out for lunch with friends. Technically, it was a perfect N-day... but it was a BIG lunch plate, and I didn't realize that as early as I should have. (I am pleased that I did not "clean my plate"... but I could have stopped way sooner if I were paying attention.) So, I actually went up a little on the scale after an N-day, which doesn't usually happen. At least I know why, and will be extra alert on the days I'm not packing my own lunch. Holding my own for now is good enough.
Although I'd already decided the official S days are IT. I do not want wiggle room on this. The gray area is too dangerous for me.
Springing off of your podcast...some phrases for the "Socially Awkward" moments...
... Not just yet / Maybe later/ Especially good for desserts, or the cake someone brought in. People often don't notice if later never comes, at least not that day. My personal favorite.
..."No thanks, I've had my quota for today." They don't need to know your quota is zero today.
... If you go out and everyone else is having dessert, order coffee or hot tea. Something okay for you, that keeps the sense of "company."
... For the people who bring in home baking... just admire it to them without having any. "That looks delicious!" Use excuse #1 not to taste. But very often, acknowledgement of effort is enough.
It the problem is that you WANT it....take one piece home for your next S-day. (Works best on a Friday, of course.)
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