Hello Allison!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed May 23, 2018 7:44 pm

Struggling on Wednesday but have made it through some really tempting things. Also scale was back down 6 pounds so I must've been holding water or post-surgery swollen last week.
And the best news of all, I slept all night!!! Wow it was amazing to see 4:40 on the clock! (I went to bed at 9:30).

Update : went red on me ; the ice creamðŸ¦

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu May 24, 2018 8:53 pm

for me on Thursday.... And this is with a trip to Krispy Kreme because hubby just had to try their blueberry week only event. I randomly wasn't even tempted with the box.
I feel like dinner made me too full but I had a bowl of watermelon with it and ended with a decaf.
I've been having a strong mint, minty gum, a K- cup of coffee or herbal tea; just something to signify the end of dinner.
Also I woke up at 1am but just read ( Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine) in bed instead of getting up and I did fall back asleep.
Otherwise, massive tension between dh and me for about 500 reasons.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sat May 26, 2018 7:45 pm

Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa

. ðŸðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon May 28, 2018 11:40 am

It's Monday and the kids are home for Memorial Day. DH on a trip. Today will be good practice for No S during the summer, which has been notoriously hard for me in the past years.

This weekend I spent the days grazing mostly on Stacy Pita chips and watermelon. A few tastes of ice cream, but my sweet tooth seems to really waning...yay! It didn't taste good enough that I had to keep going back for more.

We have nothing going today so I know this is going to be a tough No S day. If I can make it through today, I know I'll do well the rest of the week.

The most sucky part is the pool opened and I was mortified last year to put on a bathing suit and now I'm almost 20 lbs heavier....eeesh.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed May 30, 2018 8:22 pm

Soooo after I had some sort of big meltdown involving wine on Monday, I have finally seen a therapist for the first time since my daughter and sister died. She was a super sweet older woman. We ended up talking for over an hour and a half.
My mom said to make sure I know I can tell her anything, which is the problem. I feel like I told my story but now what? I don't know what to even talk about the next time. Opening up is really not my thing. Telling the story of Alyssa is much easier than going into my (embarrassing) downward spiral.
She did tell me to apologize to my 16 year old and tell her I've sought out help, but dd hasn't spoken to me since Monday and won't come out of her room.
Food-wise it's been easy S because my appetite isn't really as pressing.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu May 31, 2018 4:43 am

Donâ€™t worry about what to say or not to say. Itâ€™s the therapist job to help guide you through this process. Just keep showing up. ðŸ’œ

Merrygoround · Post by **Merrygoround** » Thu May 31, 2018 6:00 pm

Oh Alison, you have had such a dreadful time. Itâ€™s not your job to think what to say to the therapist. Itâ€™s your job to show up. Well done for making that first step. Like no s, one step at a time, just do the next thing.

We are thinking of you. Hugs are winging your way.

Soprano · Post by **Soprano** » Thu May 31, 2018 7:31 pm

Thinking of you Alison, pleased to hear you are seeking help.

Big hugs

Jx

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu May 31, 2018 8:21 pm

I don't know why I haven't been getting your updates since around the 17th of last month. Well, I'm in the loop now.

I'm so glad you've found a third party to talk to. I missed what happened between you and your 16-year-old that you needed to apologize, but I've certainly apologized to students, at times. It happens. It doesn't often melt them, but it's a good example for them.

I would be very surprised if you could shock a therapist who has made it to being a sweet OLDER woman. She has heard it all. From how you've described the session, I'll bet she will have ideas for how to guide this process. I've been seeing a very experienced therapist for a few months. Unfortunately, she is moving in a few weeks. (Not too long before we started, she woke up one morning to find that her husband of 40 years had died in his sleep. I sometimes remember that as I'm prattling on about my problems, but she has never implied that there is any reason not to take my concerns seriously.) She has asked questions and talked about things differently than any others have. Each one has his/her own perspective and style. They're also used to people who aren't used to opening up.

Please keep in mind what you don't like about your overeating habits, and how much better you feel physically and mentally when you don't let the old cues lead to the old habit. The pleasure of that reward is key to letting go of the relief of giving in. You get the most bang for your buck when you say no when it's hard, since it's likely those times will come up more than it will be easy, and depending on easy is what can get us in trouble. At the same time, we don't have to make it harder. Sit down to eat good meals of real food! Sitting down to eat is high on Judith Beck's list of eating skills. Yes, I know it's hard to give up nibbling here and there; it's a habit, and one that our ancient biology dearly loves, but being overweight and a slave to food is, too! As the saying goes, choose your hard.

Regarding waste, also not original: you can waste the food in your body or out of it. Which will it be? Encourage the kids to be more aware of when they keep taking too much to start, if they keep leaving food.

I gently suggest that you start thinking about whether there is a way to have fewer sweets and refined foods available so often to everyone, including kids, this summer. Can't the sweets be limited to meal time? Or perhaps ONE small amount mid-afternoon? If they aren't hungry enough to eat something unrefined, they aren't really hungry. I know it can be tricky. You don't want to set up rebellion and sneaking in them, either, but there's got to be a way. It's certainly not depriving them of anything crucial. Kids don't respond to what's healthy, but leaving out some fruit and nuts to crack for snacks, and assuring them they can add some of the refined stuff at meals, may help. If they pick at their food at meals, it's reason enough to keep the snacks back until meals. Let them have their appetites!

I also suggest you get kids involved in making meals, especially if they want something different. Maybe there could be a couple of nights a week the older kids are in charge; let them see what it's like to cater to so many wishes. And I assume they do clean up, right? Taking turns? An old friend comes from a family of six children; from the time the youngest was nine, their mom almost never did dishes nor laundry. Everyone deserves to make a contribution to the growth of a family.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:32 pm

Thank you to all. Such big hugs to you.
I will take all of your advice oohlala. I cater to them like you wouldn't believe. None of the kids lift a finger around here. I agree with leaving nuts and fruits out.
The fruits I always have out, but nuts are my absolute favorite and I can't imagine having to pass a bowl of them throughout the day.

Also I suppose it is true about this therapist. She has over 25 years of experience, but I still am so stressed out about going Tuesday. I already didn't start off completely honestly because
1) I don't want her to have me committed,
2) I want her to like me and not see me for the disaster I am,
3) I'm afraid she'll tell me to do things I don't want to do (mostly involving adding other people to my life).

Also my daughter hasn't come out of her room or spoken to me since Monday.. Well unless I'm gone. So it's making it horrible around here with dh on a trip. I'm breaking out in hives. He told me he told her to get over it and told me to stop kissing her ass. Ugh.

So NoS was a success this week... One positive!

Soprano · Post by **Soprano** » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:47 pm

A Therapist is unlikely to tell you to do anything, hopefully she will guide you to make decisions you feel comfortable with but she can't do this unless you are completely honest with her.

Jx

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Sat Jun 02, 2018 6:03 pm

Hi Allison,
Just to add my good wishes. This therapist sounds very positive, and I hope youâ€™ll come to feel really safe with her...maybe have some good, healing conversations.

You mentioned that you had success with No S this week - that is a massive sign of your own strength and ability to make positive changes! To be able to succeed on No S while youâ€™re dealing with such challenges....itâ€™s fantastic and I have huge respect for you.

Hope the weekend is going OK. X

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jun 06, 2018 2:12 pm

I went to the second counseling session, heeded everyone's words and was totally honest. I covered everything (kinda like a kid's first confession to a priest). After all this, the therapist ended by asking me what my final goal was of counseling...I was totally stumped for an answer! I still am. I'm not sure exactly.

NoS was not so great yesterday, was so stressed before going, and so embarrassed after the session overthinking it. I know she was expecting me to go in for grieving over the losses but all I did was talk about myself.

I didn't binge or overeat or anything but I did do a little in between snacking.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jun 06, 2018 4:30 pm

So great you were honest! I know that wasnâ€™t easy for you and you should be really proud of yourself. Therapists learn to be non judgmental and they also know that everyone handles things differently. Just give it time and give her a chance.

Iâ€™m sorry about your teen. Iâ€™ve got two and itâ€™s exhausting at times. I sometimes lose it but I always apologize. I think itâ€™s important to take their feelings seriously despite what your DH says.

*Big hugs* things will get better.

ladybird30 · Post by **ladybird30** » Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:52 am

Allisonmeg wrote:
I didn't binge or overeat or anything but I did do a little in between snacking.

Pretty good under the circumstances. I'm very glad that you are seeing a therapist and I hope you find it helpful.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Jun 07, 2018 6:41 am

You don't have to be embarrassed about anything you say to a therapist. You do not have to meet her standards. It is not what she thinks about you that's important. And she is probably more generous in her opinion. There is no one way you are expected to talk or behave with her.

How would you like to think and feel about your life? If I may, that seems like a decent way to get some idea of what your final goal of counseling is. Your answer can seem like it's asking a lot, but you might as well consider asking for it

RE No S, just remember what advantages there are to living with its limitations. What will you get out of it if it means holding back on some of the eating you feel compelled to do? You can find out if it's worth the trade off only if you do it. But you'll get there.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:47 pm

Thank you oolala. That is a good way to question myself to find the answer. I really like this therapist, yet at the same time I just dread going.

I did well No S for the day, had a piece of pie for my birthday today. I have a desire to read what Alyssa wrote in my birthday card last year, but I am trying not to...though I feel a big cry coming on either way. Not sure why it gets harder as time goes on.

I'm going to do a strict Habitcal for next week. I have gotten almost used to not counting calories...as in I didn't even think about it for most of the week. After 30 years of obsessively counting, this is pretty huge!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 4:52 am

I think the tough times will ebb and flow. I don't think it's unusual. Have the cry.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 4:58 am

I wish I could give you a hug. Happy Birthday. I agree, itâ€™s okay to cry.

Btw, I went to therapy for over a year, and dreaded going each and every time. I loved my therapist but itâ€™s just hard facing all those emotions. I always felt better after going though so thereâ€™s that.

Take care of yourself. ðŸ’œ

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 11:19 pm

That is so good to know lpearlmom! I thought most people were eager to go. Thank you for the hugs and thoughts.

S day Sunday....a grazing sweet-filled fest. I'm so anxious to get back to an N day. I hate when the S days go this way. Scale back to climbing way up. I am so canceling follow-up dr. appt. in 2 weeks). There is no way I'm going to go in there 15 pounds heavier AFTER a tummy tuck (and for probably the before and after pictures).

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Jun 10, 2018 11:23 pm

Su M Tu We Th Fr Sa
ðŸðŸ… ðŸ… ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ… ðŸ

M: dinnertime graze and bites while making i/c cone
T: Leaving nuts out for the kids to snack on did not work so well for me!
W: Mexican today, didn't go nuts!
Th: made it through breakfast & lunch on kids 2nd day out of school w/ dh on trip. Yay, I got a green!
F: Red by 10:30 am....yep ice cream cones again

Goal now is to mark and move on and continue day like it didn't happen.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:33 am

Keep reminding yourself why you had the surgery in the first place and vow to do your best to keep it all where it needs to be!

Merrygoround · Post by **Merrygoround** » Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:42 pm

First a belated happy birthday.

Re the emotions. I was happy/sad when my dad died. The cancer was spreading everywhere, and he was so ill. He dreaded it getting into his brain, but the morning of the day he died he was still discussing engineering problems with my brother. I was overjoyed he had died with his dignity intact.

But as time passed I got more and more upset and missed him more and more. It peaked at about 18 months and then improved, and it didnâ€™t follow the linear grief line. There is no one right way to grieve. This is your journey and only you can walk it.

But we can accompany you and hold your hand. So hugs from New Zealand coming your way.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jun 13, 2018 6:53 am

Thank you Merrygoround for sharing your story of losing your father. I'm so sorry for your loss. It helps me so much to know how others grieve, as I have no past experience. I really appreciate your hugs

As I approach the one year mark in July, I feel like I'm reliving each day leading up to her death. Her first good-bye letter was written on May 26th and her second one was written 2 days after my birthday on June 10th.
So her gift to me last year is very significant, which was a dress she saw and knew was meant for me, and a coffee cup that says Awesome Mom.

It just doesn't seem like it can be coming on a year. It's finally on my dry erase calendar, our last year 2- day orientation at her new college and her subsequent death when we got home.

My No S hasn't been perfect this week thus far, but I keep coming back each day and working it. I only have to master dinner; breakfast and lunch coming pretty naturally these days. Now that school is out, it should be much easier for me to get a firm grasp on the afternoon graze.

P.S.- I had a very good therapist visit, mostly just reminisced. Having gone to the boys' school several times this week for awards, parties, field day reminded me so much of when we used to go watch the girls And something about seeing the little girls really made me tear up It was really good to share that with her.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:46 pm

Ugh, only 2 out of 5 days were green. The scale continues up in record breaking numbers, but I still refuse to get back on the 30 year calorie counting wagon. I ate in the middle of the night again which is why I think I failed today. I am slowly getting more sleep; still insomnia but I'm making it further through the night.
I made the big leap and took the boys to the pool wearing a bathing suit yesterday. I didn't leave my chair...finally my youngest is old enough to go in alone! Massive thigh insecurities though.
My nemesis still seems to be the ice cream. If I didn't have to make the cones, I'd be fine. It's not like I go into the freezer on my own. I just have to put my mind into it and NOT lick the spoon...the lick always leads to more!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:32 pm

Saturday was a picture perfect S day: 3 meals plus one cupcake dd made.
Sunday was more WTH, starting with a middle of the night binge and WTHing the rest of the day.
Monday I started the day off with watermelon for breakfast. Had side salad at CFA with added avocado for lunch. Dinner was baked potato dipped in bbq, more watermelon, graham cracker.

Larkspur · Post by **Larkspur** » Mon Jun 18, 2018 3:05 pm

Hope itâ€™s a green Monday for you.

I am sorry to admit that when I got fat (BMI from 22 to 30 type fat) after my first was born, one of the few advantages was feeling less self conscious in a bathing suit! Sort of â€œha-ha, Iâ€™m fat, no oneâ€™s watching!â€

I hope you can enjoy your pool time this summer without worrying too much about other peopleâ€™s opinions.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:54 am

Big, big hugs.

BTW, isn't there anyone else to make ice cream cones? You could say that you will monitor the final result, and if the cones are too full in your estimation, no ice cream for X number of days. Then stick to it!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:00 pm

I'm doing the ice cream ban...everybody has to make their own cone!
(and lol Larkspur, that's a great way of looking at it

)

Not a smashingly successful No S week but I'm going to keep trying!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Jun 22, 2018 5:44 am

Are you using habitcal? Or at least marking your successful days somewhere, preferably where you can see them a little more often?

In any case, have an excellent green Friday! Whatever you'd like to eat or whenever you'd like to, could you just put it off until Saturday? Just get from meal to meal and overnight? Think hard about how GLAD you will feel Saturday morning if you stay green. It will be glorious!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:12 pm

I had a GREEN SUNDAY!!!

And took a 2 mile walk on top of my normal work out

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:14 pm

........ ðŸ–ï¸June
Su Mo Tu W Th Fr Sa
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
ðŸðŸðŸðŸ ðŸ ðŸ â˜€ï¸

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Jun 26, 2018 12:46 am

Another stellar and modest day!

B- Protein bar
L- special k quiche w/cheese on top, cup ðŸ‰
D- handful of mixed nuts

Reading a book about intermittent fasting and have been trying out the 8 hr window of eating and 16 hrs of fasting. Pretty easy because it follows my natural habit of early dinner.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Jun 26, 2018 7:01 pm

MAGNIFY that sense of accomplishment and reward yourself with something a pleasant. Light a candle? Pick a flower? Cut a flower out of magazine (do people have magazines anymore?) and start a little collage?

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:40 pm

I will oohlala!

Day 3 also a smashing success with an 18hr fast from 2pm to 8am this morning. I feel a groove coming on. Scale moving down a tiny bit all week. I just finally have an in control feeling.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 3:14 pm

Great job! Keep up the good work!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:54 pm

ðŸðŸðŸðŸ 4 days in a row and looking good for 5! Fasted for 19.5 hrs from 1130am yesterday until breakfast this morning. But eating enough in the other hours that I don't get all that hungry. Basically eat a decent size breakfast, have nuts as a mini-meal, have lunch.
It strangely works well for me that when lunch is finished, I'm done for the day and there's nothing else to think of.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:28 pm

Go you! I fast daily and love it. Thereâ€™s few of us here but itâ€™s definitely not for everyone!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 9:35 pm

Yes lpearlmom, me too....I am loving this! (and omg I was reading your blog and bought every book you mentioned). You are an inspiration!

I am no longer at odds of what to do in the afternoon, which is where my red dots most always happen.

I get hungry around 4 but find I'm actually enjoying feeling a hunger pang for a change. Then I get over it and I don't notice any more hunger during the evening, AND I'm not starving in the morning like I thought I would be. Headaches seem to be the only downfall. I've been consistently 19/5 and feel good about a 5 hour window of eating.

I realize this is water weight, but my scale is literally 10 lbs lighter in less than a week. I think this is because my postsurgical swelling is at a minimum following this 2 meal a day regimen. But it is so so encouraging!

I feel like I've hit a good place finally. I don't know if it's because I started going to a therapist or what. I not only feel back in control, I'm starting to be able to cry a little easier. That sounds weird but it's actually a good thing!

Even today at the DMV, I got teared up and thanked the employee who had been so very very kind to my daughter during her driving test 2 years ago. This was right after she had gotten back from residential treatment in Chicago and was extremely fragile. And you know what, he was so sweet to me and didn't seem the slightest bit disturbed that I was a little teary or that I told him.

I'm still working out as always, but also met my new goal of taking a 2 mile+ walk outside 3 times this week. I made this a goal, not so much in a lose weight thing, but to get out of my neighbor phobia/hermit status and just be outside.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:50 pm

I think some moments of tender gratitude is something we can all use.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 6:29 am

This post makes me so happy! Youâ€™re doing great and so happy to hear youâ€™re enjoying IF. Itâ€™s a great feeling to realize food doesnâ€™t control you & that you are perfectly fine skipping a couple meals even.

For the headaches try a little pink Himalayan or sea salt in your water. The headaches will ease up in a couple of weeks though. I hope you enjoy the reading. Theres also a podcast by Gin Stephens and Melanie Avalon that I enjoy if youâ€™re a podcast kind of person. Itâ€™s called The Intermittent Fasting podcast.

Let me know if you have any questions. Also, I agree being able to cry again is a good sign.

Hang in there. Youâ€™re doing great.

Linda

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 12:42 pm

Thanks Linda! I'll check out the podcast today...I always have an Audible book in my ear so it's a perfect venue for me. And great tip for the salt. I have Pink Himalayan salt so I'll try that later in the day. Also do you have a group like this for your IF that I might join?

Today I'm trying my first 24-hour fast (7:30am start). First of all, I had a croissant and banana bread for my S-day treat. Then had egg, cheese, bacon quiche and a big coffee with heavy cream. I've been eating low carb this week so the bread made a very yummy reward for my wildly successful week!

Dh is on a trip, kids kicked back, so I think it'll be the best time... nowhere we have to go today and I plan to have a lazy day, other than a 30 min cardio.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 12:56 pm

Youâ€™re doing great! Your treats sound yummy. I try to do a couple low carb days and a few regular days to keep the body guessing. Sounds like what youâ€™re doing!

Iâ€™m not sure youâ€™re on fb but hereâ€™s the fb group I belong to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DelayDontDeny/

Itâ€™s a big group so not as cozy as this one but Gin runs a tight ship and makes sure everyone is kind & respectful so that helps. I wouldnâ€™t recommend any of the other fasting groups. Oh and she does prefer you read her book (Delay, donâ€™t deny), not necessarily before but maybe just be in the process of reading it or at least read the pinned post carefully. They are clean fast fanatics.

Hope to see you over there!

Linda

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Jul 01, 2018 2:51 pm

(moved July Habitcal)

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 12:13 am

I completed my first 24-hour fast today, from breakfast until breakfast. I was going to try for one more 24-hour fast but didn't make it and had a late 8pm dinner plus ice cream cone. So in the end, a good S day.
Starting back tomorrow, I'll be on a 2-meal a day regimen with a 19/5 fast and be finished eating for the day by 1130 to 12.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:25 pm

Woot woot! Congrats on 24 hrs! Youâ€™re doing great!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:42 am

Did well just having breakfast and lunch yesterday. I'm up now at 2:45 am and trying to see if I can make it to lunch for another 24 hour fast (and drinking my coffee black...boo). I'm not one to ever skip breakfast so we'll see!

I had a very big talk\argument with dh yesterday and cried a lot. It solved absolutely nothing. I got off my chest a few things, but they were not nice things. Just yet more things to create a bigger rift between us.

Last year at this time, Alyssa brought her boyfriend with us to see the fireworks and I remember thinking how great it was and was envisioning the future of him always being with us for the 4th, completely clueless that she would be dead a week later.

I really hate all this lead up to "the date." I have mixed emotions of it being a year. It feels like it happened last week; I feel more upset now than I did then, and a year gives the connotation that it's been long enough to start moving forward.

Anyway, my fasting/two-meal a day schedule seems tailor-made for me, something that feels like I could do long term. It really frees up my afternoon quandry while fixing the kids all their different choices. Plus it just adds back the way I always naturally ate from teens through 30s.

I have an intermittent fasting app and as soon as I push the GO button, I just don't eat another single calorie. I love things that make it so consise for me.

I weigh 40 lbs more than I did my entire 20s and 30s. I AM getting this off. That is one goal I am really going to work for now. I know I can do it. I've done it before. I'm strong enough for this kind of mindset/willpower and I have grief motivation fueling it.

jenji · Post by **jenji** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:54 pm

Sometimes grief can push us to do something when inertia has held us back. Wishing you some peace, some time to grieve, and maybe some new insights as you deal with this one-year mark.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jul 04, 2018 5:53 pm

There is a lot whirling around for you. I'm glad you're finding a routine for systematic moderation, as Reinhard calls it. That's all you can do. The body does its thing with what we eat.

I wish for some peaceful resolution with dh, later, if not sooner.

Do what you can to have a delightful holiday. We're on your side!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:33 am

Youâ€™re doing great. I love my app too. I think some of us just do better with firm boundaries kind of like with NoS but just for a longer period of time. Fasting also helps you realize how strong you really are. If you have the Vora app , you can follow me if you want. Iâ€™m FastingPearl. ðŸ˜ƒ

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sat Jul 07, 2018 1:00 am

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! My week has been successful and GREEN. I had a really great therapist visit today, which honestly just still surprises me. I went in thinking I had nothing to say, and then left with an entirely new insight and feeling warm fuzzies towards dh.
Today was technically green but I did have a third small meal of macadamia nuts. So it's kind of red for my own 2 meal a day plan. I was just excited that dh bought them for me.... They're 19 bucks a pound at the Fresh Market and I haven't had them in ages.
OK off to get the vora appðŸ˜
I am completely bingeing on The Obesity Code book and podcast.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jul 09, 2018 11:28 pm

One nice meal today around noon. Fasted for 27 hours this time. I am really liking this sense of control I get. Honestly I could have gone longer, but I like just adding an extra hour or two each time.

I have never ever skipped breakfast in my life... I have discovered this is totally a habit. I'm not even hungry in the morning. I have always eaten when I get up because that's just what you do.

My favorite new motivation is that I'm eating my fat for breakfast/lunch/ or dinner.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Jul 09, 2018 11:37 pm

calendar move

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jul 10, 2018 3:33 am

27 hrsâ€”woot!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Jul 10, 2018 6:49 pm

Thank you lpearlmom...wow I have just been on the biggest bingefest with books and podcasts of Jung, Gin, Herring, Jimmy Moore, etc! Keeping my mind occupied this week is HUGE. I even (finally) opened a Facebook account just to get on the Vora group and on Gin's One Meal a Day group.

That probably won't be sticking around because somehow, absolutely everyone seems to instantly know this. I'm getting a bazillion friend requests from everyone from kids I babysat 35 years ago to my plastic surgeon! And that is exactly what I didn't want!

Friday is the year anniversary so trying to stay very busy and not think too much.

Last night I messed up a perfectly good day by randomly eating two Lara bars (that my husband had left in the closet) right as I was going to bed. The funny thing is, it's the first night I slept through the night in almost a year!

Back on track today with breakfast and lunch...now done for the day. Instead of trying to make up for the bars last night, I went with the mark it and move on mentality.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:49 pm

Good job on marking it and moving on. Definitely not a big deal. I think thereâ€™s a way to change your settings so youâ€™re essentially invisible.

I went through an obsessive period of research too. Itâ€™s just so dang interesting.

I know this is a tough week for you. Big *hugs* to you.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:36 pm

Big big hugs.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:54 pm

Thank you guys, I made it through the anniversary. We're at the beach now. I forgot it was Sunday and am now happily eating a seasalt caramel cheesecake ice cream cone....heavenly!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:30 pm

I haven't had a chance to get on here lately, but I'm successfully (IF) eating just one meal a day. Once I got that in my brain, it keeps getting easier. I'm not panicking at the first grumble of hunger and I'm actually making ice cream cones without white knuckles.
Things still not good with dh. My youngest starts kindergarten soon...the first time in over 24 years with no little ones at home during the day. So I'm at some sort of crossroads with life right now.
The extra 20 lbs I've gained in the past few months aren't helping either. I think if I could just see a NUDGE down on the scale I'd be ecstatic. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a WHOOSH... it went up that way so maybe it'll go down that way. I know it's got to happen soon because my eating habits are really improving.
The most positive thing I've noticed is I'm truly not treating hunger as an emergency. I'm not bingeing...even though one would think eating one meal a day would encourage that. I feel in control actually.
I'm trying to go a little longer on this fast. My goal is to beat my last number IF'ing each time hubby goes on a trip.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:16 pm

July move

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:28 am

â³I've made it 36 hours into this fast so far! This is HUGE!!! I'm going to bed soon so I should keep going. Supposedly hunger should be starting to get suppressed soon...hasn't happened yet, but the scale is moving! And movement is just all I needed to see

âŒ›At 45 hours now after getting up. Definitely got a lot of energy, there's no way I could fall back to sleep. And scale down more so yayyyy

!

I ended fast at 48 hours with a whole avocado and walnuts, tuna salad for lunch and done for day. I am amazed at myself that I did this and am now excited to try for longer next week.
Important note: do not drink 6 cups of black coffee after not eating for 2 days. I could have go on had I not made this mistake! ðŸ¤¢ I think it was the caffeine more than the coffee itself, but like the mother of all hot flashes!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Jul 31, 2018 9:13 pm

calendar move

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 02, 2018 5:48 am

Wow, youâ€™re doing great! Congrats on your 48 hr fast! The longest Iâ€™ve gone is 44 hrs. It feels pretty good doesnâ€™t it? I seemed to have stalked so thinking of trying ADF for a few weeks. I donâ€™t get hungry but mentally getting through dinnertime is tough for me.

Keep up the good work.

Linda

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Aug 02, 2018 7:02 pm

Thank you! I'm trying it again now, but only 15 hours into it.
I hear you with dinner. We've been very informal eating during the summer; I'm curious to see if I've toughened up making dinner once school starts back. I'm doing well at OMAD. That's a bummer with your stall...I've watched your numbers slow and steady coming down so you are definitely an inspiration to me. I've at least gotten back into the 50s and steadily haven't seen the 60s this week!

So today I went to my therapist and we kind of bid farewell. We both are in agreement that I'll just see her on an as needed basis. I'm finally back to feeling in control. Not sure if I just needed the year anniversary to pass. Something with getting a handle on my eating habits has made the difference in all aspects of my life. So I'll just keep baby-stepping forward.

Hubby's hobby has been building one high-end house a year for last 15 years or so. We're thinking I'll get my real estate license and incorporate another business into his, to sell his houses only. I read into it and there's actually a course starting very near by.
His latest house is 37k in realtor fees, so why not have me doing it? I think it'll be good for my brain to keep active. This is basically the same as when I went back to school 10 yrs ago and got CMA but never used it.
I just like knowing I have options.

ladybird30 · Post by **ladybird30** » Fri Aug 03, 2018 4:12 am

Good to hear of your plan for getting a realtor's licence - sounds like a positive thing to do.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Aug 03, 2018 4:19 pm

Hi there! I think the realtor idea is a great one! It will give you something to do with your littlest in Kindergarten now, and maybe it will give you and your dh a shared vision that will strengthen your relationship.

Also so wonderful to see how finding some confidence in your eating habits is spilling over into other areas of your life. I TOTALLY experienced that when I started NoS. It's empowering!

Take care!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:10 pm

I completely agree that it frees other areas up too. I swear I would not have met my husband or at least wouldnâ€™t have understood how to build a loving and stable relationship with him before NoS. My self worth was completely tied to my size before which was so unhelpful on top of being silly.
Good luck with everything!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:01 am

So wonderful to hear how well youâ€™re doing. Iâ€™m sure that one year anniversary was tough. Your ability to persevere is so inspiring to me.

Getting your license is a great idea. I wish I had done something like that when my kids were little. It feels a bit too late now even though everyone tells me otherwise.

Have a great weekend. ðŸ’œ

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 05, 2018 12:55 pm

I ended up doing a 36 hour fast this past couple of days. It actually does get easier as I practice. I've completed 24 now and trying to decide if I'm going to make this an S day.
Hubby got home at midnight and he wants pizza today. And whenever he gets home, I most always feast. This is a long-ingrained habit that I want to get rid of. And I definitely won't be partaking in Krispy Kreme if we get the Sunday box.
I'm really starting to get obsessed with watching the number on the scale. It's been so long since it's done anything but go up, that seeing it go down is extremely motivating. Oh and I went to an old friend's house the other day and she was going on how she's 135 and wants to get to 125 (AND is 2 inches taller than me). She was quite a bit heavier last time I saw her and was giving me her too tight clothes. Now I'm the one 20 lbs+ heavier (last month would have been 30+). I haven't even considered the 130s being obtainable, and the 120s is just ridiculous. Yet it does make me ponder....

Nice S day with the sweet seed clusters from Jerusalem again. Popcorn at Mission Impossible (which totally rocked btw)!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 05, 2018 4:07 pm

Calendar move

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Aug 07, 2018 7:57 pm

Yay I finally saw the scale move down that stubborn pound! Yesterday I ate 3 meals, a perfect No S day. And today for my one meal we went to Mexican and I had a taco salad w/out eating shell or any tortilla chips. I brought my own avocado with so very filling
I made all the boys ice cream cones and don't even feel slightly tempted. Dd made brownies that I don't even want. The lack of eating any sweets has really stopped the craving cold. I've got a knack for cutting out carbs; this is definitely going to be long term for me. And I think I'll plan Sunday only to be a sweet if I'm craving.
Having popcorn at the movies made me feel a little anxious but nothing BAD happened...So sort of a side note of "Hunger is NOT an emergency."...neither is eating!
I'm getting my actual plan down. I don't think I'm going to do any more longer fasts but continue my one meal a day on weekdays. If I feel like eating breakfast, I have my quiche/cheese/bacon in a container in the freezer to make it 2 meals. I don't know how making dinner will work when school starts back, but I feel like I've built up a good resistance.
I just needed scale affirmation to make it stick!

Edit: All that good talk and I ended up with a semi- red dot. Those Lara bars dh keeps in the closet must go. But really that was just making it 'official' because I licked off burnt greasy burger/ melted cheese sludge on spatula.
And that seemed too little to get a red dot for, but felt guilty to put a green dot for (even though technically that could be my second meal)

Hmm.. maybe I'll mark something in between

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:00 pm

Sounds like you are making great progress!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 08, 2018 5:21 am

Youâ€™re doing great and really seem to be getting in a good groove! The longer fasts really are not that fun, huh? Yet somehow I committed to doing two Efs a week for the next 100 days. We shall see! ðŸ˜±

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:34 am

ðŸŽŠBig news! The scale dropped the pound that changed me from overweight to normal BMI!!!! ðŸŽŠ

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:49 am

Calendar move

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:48 pm

Congrats -- you are unstoppable! Normal BMI? That is such a victory, yay!
And when you say waiting for the "3" do you mean 3 pounds? And what's Dr. T?

Also -- I agree with you about getting rid of those Lara bars (or any and all granola bars).

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 12, 2018 1:30 pm

moved

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 12, 2018 5:28 pm

Today for S day treat, I had an extra-fattening latte (half/half) at Starbucks, and just one little bite of piping hot Krispy Kreme donut.
Dh and I went out Friday night and had a great time...that hasn't happened for a while. It's all me though...I wasn't feeling good about how I looked so I couldn't project confidence or wear anything slightly fitted, and definitely felt gross about trying to be sexy/alluring/seductive.
I'm not even close to where I want to be, but either way I'm 14 lbs lighter than I was just a few months ago and that has helped my confidence increase quite a bit.
Even though it's Sunday, just kept it at one small window this morning, which included plain no bun cheeseburgers which is super rare.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:51 pm

I was pretty hungry this morning so I had breakfast and then just had the grilled nuggets at Chickfila today (Wow, never ordered before...not much there). Scale was lightest yet, which was unexpected and made for a happy day! Hubby and I going to go out again since we had so much fun Friday.

Ended up eating a light dinner of pistachios, pb and celery so I won't be drinking on empty stomach.

Edit: Late night red dot. Ate 2 croissants

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Aug 16, 2018 11:01 am

Last night I had my best friend from third grade+ over. (dh of 27 years discovered with an inappropriate friendship, which I am an expert in). Her son spent the night and I'm taking them to the trampoline house this morning. All was good and I'm at 25 hours for fasting. I'm not hungry but thinking of food nonetheless. However the scale is staying at 53 and not going back up. If I could see the 4s again, I would be thrilled! And I don't envision the 6s back in my future EVER.
I was listening to a podcast where the question was about licking your fingers off during an IF. But it so related to me and NoS... I realized I'm naturally not doing that anymore but I didn't notice I wasn't!
For my next book I'm going to check out intuitive eating ; a subject that has always been a foreign language to me. I'm not convinced I even know what true hunger feels like. Well back in the anorexic days, I'm sure I did but I'm talking NORMAL hunger and normal reactions.

TexArk · Post by **TexArk** » Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:11 pm

I don't have time to find the posts now and not sure we can search on this site, but there have been many posts about intuitive eating and they are mostly all negative. I have been down that road and it is the quickest way I have ever found to gain weight!! I will see if I can find some posts for you. Until I find them here are 3 posts you might find instructive from another blog. Dr. Collins is quoting Gillian Riley for most of these articles:

http://diethobby.com/blog.php?ax=v&nid=818
http://diethobby.com/blog.php?ax=v&nid=819
http://diethobby.com/blog.php?ax=v&nid=820

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:44 pm

Great great great to know!! Thank you for hunting those down for me and letting me know because gaining is SO what I don't want to do

I'm going to check them out right now.

Oh I can see right out of the chute this isn't for me...Eat anything I want? I don't think so. I'm just wanting to figure out when I'm truly hungry and listening to those cues.
I've gotten a nice resilience built around my sweet tooth these days. Plus for the most part, I've been eating really healthy, whole foods and nothing processed/carbly/starchy. This is not what I thought intuitive eating was!

Basically I can do these daily 20 hour fast pretty easily. My stomach grumbles but I've learned that's just what stomachs do, not because I'm hungry. And then I heard talk of real hunger is felt in your throat? I just want to learn hunger signals better. I'm getting so much better at it. But like today, I had breakfast, was not actually hungry for lunch, but ate it anyway just because I got a little stressed out.

Oh awesome, this second article is covering exactly this, thank you!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 3:34 am

I gained 50+ lbs doing intuitive eating but I was coming off a lifetime of strict dieting and was just SO done. I do think it can be kind of useful in a short eating window however. That is because intermittent fasting he,ps to regulate your hunger and satiety signals which make intuitive eating possible. Also the window length gives you a natural structure so itâ€™s not like youâ€™ll be eating all day long which is exactly what I did during that time in my life.

Anyways it looks like youâ€™re doing well. Best of luck on your continued journey!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:58 pm

*******July*******
------------------------
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa

ðŸŽ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ

ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸŽ

ðŸ

ðŸŸ ðŸŸ ðŸŸ ðŸŸ ðŸŸ ðŸ

ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ

ðŸ ðŸŽ ðŸ

ðŸŽ2nd- small whoops with an untouched a.m. Toaster Struedel , but then had a 9:30 pm ambien induced incident (those are never pretty).

7th- Banana nut muffins as my sweet. Oh and some sugar-free chocolate pecan things that did horrible things to my stomach!
ðŸŽ12th- had a big feast of all bad foods/sweets right about the time my daughter died at this time last year. Better than drinking I guess

13th- Alyssa's one year anniversary
ðŸŸ 14th-20th- Beach trip, didn't track but was a green drive Sat

22nd- S-day donut
ðŸâ³ 25th-27th - First extended fast, success! 48 hrs

28th- Had S day "lunch" of crunchy seeds/sesame balls dh brought back from Jerusalem. Really had to fight the urge to eat the entire container!
ðŸŽ 30th- one window of eating but grazed and overate

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 4:54 pm

Omg scale was 151.4....so close to hitting 40s!!! Been fasting 22 hours and I'm gonna keep rolling!!

(down 16lbs)

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:05 pm

Congrats on your continued progress! And I love your colorful calendar.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:01 am

Woot! I can not seem to get into the 140s for the life of me. You got this!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 19, 2018 9:11 am

I feel the same way Linda!
Nope, scale back up, boo. But I saw it, I know it's doable! Yesterday I ate bread (real pita and naan and local hummus from Tell Aviv) for the first time in a while (S day) on purpose and not Ambien-induced. I also had banana bread. The problem is I feel guilty about it all day. It was an S day, I was modest, yet I was crabby the rest of the day for eating carbs. And then had an ice cream cone before bed which we all know is my kryptonite. I've been doing much better completely not eating ice cream at all.
So my issue is, I had a picture perfect S day, but can't help feeling like I cheated or failed because I've been doing so well... Even though I waited until my S day and kept it ladylike.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Aug 19, 2018 3:21 pm

That is a bummer that you weren't able to enjoy the freedom of your S Day.
Maybe that will come with time. I often tell myself that I can't be strict for the rest of my life, and the wisdom in having S Days gives us the gift of staying compliant for years, rather than just weeks and then falling off the wagon.

I think that each of us is different in how much freedom we need to maintain compliance however. I might put this on my own thread, though, because I sense I need to explore this concept a bit more. My point here is that maybe you don't need two full free days. Maybe just one day or maybe just two afternoons. We are all different.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:46 am

Guilt and food is not a good combo. Remember is good to have some higher calorie days. It keeps your metabolism guessing and therefore working good. Also some ppl carb cycle instead of just going low carb all the time. I think the thought is it keeps your metabolism flexible.

I want to share with you my latest obsession-the six miles to supper blog. I donâ€™t know why but I just find this woman so inspirational. Sheâ€™s an intermittent faster but super chill about the whole thing. She doesnâ€™t count macros, or calories or stress about things like cream in your coffee or chewing gum. Itâ€™s helping me to be a little less worried about the what part of my eating and just focus on the when. Not sure if youâ€™ll find her interesting but hereâ€™s her blog in case: http://sixmilestosupper.com/intermitten ... den-foods/

Best of luck!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Mon Aug 20, 2018 8:17 am

Oh thank you, I'll check out now! She already sounds like my type. I love listening to Gin Stephen's podcast, which you pointed me toward.
One thing with these keto and IF boards, they are not nearly as nice as we are over here at No S. It's their way or the highway!

Sunday was also a good solid S day that went a tad bit wild there at the end. I ate the 2 hot dogs off the grill that I had cut up for son (who grossed out that they were grilled and not microwaved). From there, hubby made the absolute best peach cobbler I have EVER tasted. I just could not stop myself from stopping by the casserole dish every time I walked past.

But it's funny. My husband carried on much like automated eater and told me, "SO WHAT? YOU ATE SOMETHING SWEET ON S DAY...THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. SO STOP BEGRUDGING YOURSELF AND WE'LL START FRESH TOMORROW".

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Aug 20, 2018 2:48 pm

So hilarious that your son prefers his hot dogs microwaved. That is so boy-typical.

Heaven help me if I try to convince my kids homemade mac & cheese is better than Kraft.

And eating that peach cobbler not only was delicious for you, but it probably helped your marriage by boosting your hubby's ego.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Aug 21, 2018 4:16 pm

-calendar move

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Aug 21, 2018 4:46 pm

I love that you and your hubby are having regular time together out of the house. Good for you two!

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Aug 21, 2018 9:17 pm

Me too, we're finally back in a good spot and having fun when we go out!

Today I had 3 meals so it was perfect for an N day but not good for OMAD. However, I wasn't actually hungry when I made burgers for hubby to take on his trip. They just SMELLED so awesome I had one with nothing on it . So this is already making me nervous for school to start back and making dinners again. I'm going to plan on fasting tomorrow and see how long I can go. The scale is creeping back up againðŸ˜©

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Sun Aug 26, 2018 9:54 pm

School starts tomorrow...So sad to see my youngest go to Kindergarten

. So getting everything ready for back-to-school. I feel like I'm going to do well at not snacking at the kids' dinner. I have really gotten better about being super strict at not licking spoons etc. And I've really cut the sweet tooth out.

S-day, I treated myself to deep dish pizza with turbo crust and had a grande latte at Starbucks. Hubby brought back actual Belgian chocolate from Brussels so I had a small piece of it but had no desire to go back in for more.

I volunteered for all sorts of school duties which I have never done before, and have some different ideas of staying active during the day. I super enjoyed taking my dogs on a 5 mile walk this past week. This is the very first time (with having had 6) that I'm home with no kids in 24 years!!!

So my next plan of action is I bought decaf coffee and am making the switch starting tomorrow morning. At some point I want to cut out the diet coke, but that's gonna be a hard one! I did buy the caffeine-free d/c though as a start. Next I'm going to cut the cream out of my coffee. I drank it black my whole life up until just a couple of years ago, but it's still going to be hard.

I AM freaking going to get in the 140s if it kills me!!! I feel super motivated and honestly I haven't felt that way for a long time. It really seems I needed to get that year of grieving under my belt. I guess you could say I officially hit the acceptance phase. And quite frankly, not talking to Alyssa's boyfriend since the year anniversary has been good for both of us. I think we were keeping each other miserable. He just makes me cry if he says hi! Well geez, just writing that is making me cry... so yes it's better that we've stopped texting and that he's gone back to college.

Anyway things are looking up and I feel confident that I'm getting this last 10-15 lbs off!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Aug 27, 2018 1:59 pm

You sound great!
First time with the house to yourself. That sounds divine. I know it will be a transition, but I think you'll come to love it! Is your youngest doing 1/2 day or all day kindergarten?

I'm feeling excited for you!

ladybird30 · Post by **ladybird30** » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:15 pm

Happy to hear that things are getting better for you.

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:49 am

Thank ya'll so much! My kindergartner is all day, but he has his big brothers on the bus with him.
I had a perfect tip top N day!! And this was me making burgers on the grill, crescent rolls with hot dogs, mac n cheese, broccoli, and then made snacks and lunches for the kids tomorrow at school.
And YES, not a single NuNu {a reference from Teletubbies} event, I didn't lick a single spoon, put no garbage down my throat and ACTUALLY threw leftovers away! I'm generally the garbage disposal over here and that is stopping! This day was a MAJOR accomplishment that will make me stronger every time I practice it.
And I was worried about what to do when the kids left. Well I went outside and took a 5 mile walk, all before 8 am!
I did just fine with no caffeine, though I AM still writing this at 2am so it didn't cure my insomnia.
My plan today is to eat a big lunch today and fast for at least 48 hrs. I've done a 48, 36 and 32 but I'm ready to make it stricter for the second time around. Hubby will be away visiting his mom, so my plan is when I get hungry, just immediately go outside and take a walk or clean out neglected closets, get rid of toys no one will notice while they're at school.
And to keep reminding myself....Hunger is not an emergency!! Eat the buffet bar off your body

Allisonmeg · Post by **Allisonmeg** » Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:54 am

---------August ----------
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
29 30 ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ
â˜€ï¸ ðŸðŸ› ðŸŽ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ
â˜€ï¸ ðŸŽ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ â˜€ï¸
â˜€ï¸ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ› ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ
â˜€ï¸ ðŸ ðŸŽ ðŸ ðŸ ðŸ â˜€ï¸

âŒ› 2nd- 4th Late night start to 36hr fast, big omad after on Sat
â˜€ï¸ 5th- Sunday treat of Jerusalem seed/nut clusters, popcorn at movies (Mission Impossible)
ðŸ 6th- 3 meals
ðŸ› 7th-Late night 2nd meal of Lara bar, seed clusters, cheesy burnt spooge in burger pan
ðŸŽŠ8th- scale hit normal BMI!.
ðŸŽ8th- ðŸ¦ bingefest , anxious about dh meeting up with oldest dd, sil and gks in Germany
ðŸðŸ¥‚9th- out for drinks
â˜€ï¸12th - Sunday treat: breve latte and just ONE bite of KK hot donut
ðŸŽðŸ¥‚ 13th- 3 meals today, drinks out, 2 croissants before bed
ðŸâŒ› 16th- 2 meals and began 32 hour fast
â˜€ï¸ 18th- S day with pita, hummus etc fresh from Jerusalem, homemade banana bread dd made. Evening ice cream cone.
â˜€ï¸ 19th- 2 meals and homemade peach cobbler
ðŸðŸ¥‚20th- out for drinks
ðŸ21st- 3 meals (celery/pb, CFL salad, cheeseburger)
ðŸ›22nd- big LCHF breakfast omad and late night munchfest/ unplanned 2nd meal
ðŸ23rd- high carb breakfast, done for today and maybe tomorrow! Took a 5 mile walk this morning. ðŸŒ»
ðŸðŸ¥‚ 25th- Last night out before school starts. Z 1st fb game
â˜€ï¸ 26th- S day latte, piece of chocolate and Jet's pizza
ðŸ 27th- First day of school. l rocked making different meals for all family members and didn't so much a lick a spoon!
ðŸŽ28th- 3 meals because I ate the taco casserole once while making (at 11) and again (at 4) while dishing out. And breakfast, just wrong out of the chute (sourdough rolls)