Yellow or Red?

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 17, 2012 2:10 am

Went out to eat with a group of girlfriends tonight at Golden Corral. I was planning on counting this as an exempt day as I knew I would be eating more than usual. However, when does an exempt day become a red day? The key probably would have been to decide what and how much I was going to eat before I went. I kind-of did, but still feel like I ate too much to color the day yellow. Anyone else been faced with this situation??

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Thu May 17, 2012 4:57 am

I really think this is individual for everyone.
Hard fast rules are GOOD if YOU stick to them all the time.
I know for me, if I went out with girls and ate a lot, but then didn't drive home and continue that eating....then I'd consider it an S, not a Red.
It's in my mind-set. I KNOW when I'm indulging with friends.
And I KNOW when I'm compulsively sabotaging myself.
Ask yourself those same questions. That's my opinion, only.

Dale · Post by **Dale** » Thu May 17, 2012 6:58 am

I was out with girlfriends a while ago and have another night out coming up. Last time it turned out that I was able to make it a No S day (I just had one course). If I'd felt that was too difficult I'd have made it an S day (even if I'd been hoping to make it a No S day!). I think that if you don't go out very often it's fine to count those days as S days (after all, how much is that bit extra going to add to your calories over the month?). It's not the same as just snacking on a random day and calling that an S day. That's what works for me. I'm trying to avoid feeling guilty and I know that making it a red day would make me feel worse than making it an S day. I think that that sort of S day is part of "normal" eating: a slim person would eat more when out with friends.

For the next night coming up, I'll do the same: try to keep it as a No S day, but turn it into an S day if needed! The really difficult bit for me is that we eat much later than I normally would. If I make it an S day, I'll be able to have a piece of toast or something around my normal mealtime so I don't feel so weak with hunger as I did last time.

Don't take this as advice! It's just what works for me. I tend to get obsessive about diets, and I'm finding it difficult to avoid doing this even with No S, so I'm trying to make it easy on myself.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:18 am

Thanks for the input, Liz and Dale! I tend to agree with both of you. I knew going into the evening that I would be eating more. Consequently I only had cereal for breakfast and a yogurt for lunch...so saved some calories there. Also, I didn't eat QUITE as much as I would ordinarily have eaten if I was not NoS-ing. I didn't eat after getting home, but wasn't hungry at all. Like you mentioned, Dale, part of the problem with going out is a person tends to eat later in the evening. I usually don't eat past 7PM but didn't get home last night until after 9.
I also am a perfectionist and although I don't want to be deceitful in any way, seeing that big red square on my habitCal board can be psychologically damaging!
So I guess it will go down in history as yellow. Like you said, Liz, I have to stick to my own rules. I don't want to be too hard on myself and yet don't want to cut any corners either.
Thanks again for sharing your opinions!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:23 am

An S (yellow) day can never become a failure (red) day. If it's exempt, it's exempt. Unlike a stoplight, the yellow won't eventually turn red.

You planned on it being exempt, so it didn't matter what or how much you ate. If you hadn't planned on it being exempt and then ate everything in site, it would have been a red day. It's all in the planning or lack thereof.

Don't over think or try to over complicate this. Relax and enjoy the exempt days or events.

Post by **reinhard** » Thu May 17, 2012 1:54 pm

Ditto what wosnes said.

Don't stress about it, "relax and enjoy" is really, really important to making this work long term. Remember, it's about building habits, not isolated events. I've had my share of whopping S-days myself.

Reinhard

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 17, 2012 2:14 pm

"Yellow won't eventually turn red"...I like that, wosnes. Plain and simple. Also like your "relax and enjoy" comment, Reinhard. As I said, I knew for a couple weeks that this dinner was happening and I had predetermined that it would be an exempt day. What I realized during the meal was that I really wasn't enjoying it as much as I thought I would, mainly because there was a part of me that felt like I was cheating. There was also a very definite fear that I was undoing all of my efforts from the last couple months and that I would fall into the mindset that I was failing at yet another diet.
The good news is that the negative self talk was pretty short-lived. I found myself almost anxious to pick up where I left off as soon as I walked out of the restaurant.

"It's about building habits, not isolated events"...Love it!!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Thu May 17, 2012 3:43 pm

I often take 'S events/meals' rather than 'S days' for non-weekend S days. That means that I can relax and eat what I like at that event or meal, but not for the rest of the day willy nilly. After all, if I'm taking an S day to go out for a nice birthday meal with my family where I want to be able to enjoy a few courses, why would I want to snack all day?

This works for me as I could probably add a good few non weekend S days per month if I was going to have the entire day, so limiting it to meals/events helps limit the eating. I'm still not at the point where this is natural and S days are balanced, so the less opportunity to break the N day habits for me the better

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 17, 2012 4:03 pm

Guess that's what I did, milliem. I knew I was going out for dinner so didn't eat much of anything the rest of the day. I know the danger there is that a person will over indulge, but I wasn't really that hungry so figured it was okay.
I really like the idea of an S-event/meal. Maybe even a 'Yellow event/meal"...exempt for just one meal (or one birthday party, etc) as opposed to making the whole day yellow. Time to revise my habitCal perhaps???

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu May 17, 2012 6:01 pm

carpediem wrote:Guess that's what I did, milliem. I knew I was going out for dinner so didn't eat much of anything the rest of the day. I know the danger there is that a person will over indulge, but I wasn't really that hungry so figured it was okay.
I really like the idea of an S-event/meal. Maybe even a 'Yellow event/meal"...exempt for just one meal (or one birthday party, etc) as opposed to making the whole day yellow. Time to revise my habitCal perhaps???

I wouldn't revise the habit cal (though I've never used it!).

We do it all backwards, though. Instead of eating light before an event, we should eat normally -- then eat lighter AFTER the event, if necessary. Many times when we eat lighter before an event, we end up eating more than we would have if we just ate normally prior to it.

AnnaBanana · Post by **AnnaBanana** » Thu May 17, 2012 6:04 pm

Carpe,

You're doing GREAT! Keep it up! So proud of you!

BIG HUG!

Laura Ann

finallyfull · Post by **finallyfull** » Thu May 17, 2012 7:57 pm

I agree with you Wosnes -- if I eat light during breakfast and lunch, and especially if the event is late, I'm most likely going to eat two days worth of food at that last meal! I would almost think adding an additional meal before the event would still make me come out ahead.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Fri May 18, 2012 11:55 am

Well my weekly weigh-in this morning showed a loss of .4 pounds. Not much I know, but certainly better than a gain! This whole thing is such a learning process. I haven't been at it as long as most on here, but already I feel a real change in my thinking. Not just about dieting or self image, but about something deeper. Don't mean to get all philisophical, but I've noticed that I do not spend as much time in negative self-talk anymore. Before there was always a sense of "Well give it your best shot but dont be surprised when you fail...again". Or "Gee, wonder how long I can stick to it THIS time". I'm aware that I no longer do that. I'm not quitting this time. Even if I never reach that pie-in-the-sky ideal 'number' I'm striving for, I'm not quitting. I already feel better physically. I already have more energy. I already have more self confidence. Quitting now is just not an option!!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Fri May 18, 2012 1:45 pm

'Atta girl! That's the attitude it takes to be successful - as you already are!!
((hugs))

Mimi

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Fri May 18, 2012 1:50 pm

finallyfull wrote:I would almost think adding an additional meal before the event would still make me come out ahead.

In my current living situation, dinner is often late. It's almost never before 8 PM, often after 9 PM and the latest was 10:40 PM. Initially I tried eating breakfast and taking lunch later, but that didn't work well for me. Now I'm having a little snack at about 4:30 or 5 PM and that's working better. Since breakfast and lunch are usually pretty light, another light meal isn't going to do much damage calorie-wise.

carpediem, I think as long as we use words like "cheating" in relation to how we eat, we're going to be in trouble. It should be a treat, not a cheat.

Michael Pollan wrote:No wonder we have become, in the midst of our astounding abundance, the world's most anxious eaters. A few years ago, Paul Rozin, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, and Claude Fischler, a French sociologist, began collaborating on a series of cross-cultural surveys of food attitudes. They found that of the four populations surveyed (the U.S., France, Flemish Belgium and Japan), Americans associated food with health the most and pleasure the least. Asked what comes to mind upon hearing the phrase ''chocolate cake,'' Americans were more apt to say ''guilt,'' while the French said ''celebration''; ''heavy cream'' elicited ''unhealthy'' from Americans, ''whipped'' from the French. The researchers found that Americans worry more about food and derive less pleasure from eating than people in any other nation they surveyed.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri May 18, 2012 7:32 pm

Yet the lack of pleasure doesn't stop them.

Once you declare it an S day, it's a free day.

Naturally thin people will often eat light on the day they know they will have more at a party or celebration. I don't think they think of the calories as much as their appetite. They sometimes go light the next day for the same reason.

You have to respect what you're discovering about the satiety from food. It's often less of a big deal than we thought it was going to be. We can't depend on it to have the fun for us. I think that's one of the reasons we often eat when we come home.

In any case, let the event go and move on to eating for your needs today.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Sat May 19, 2012 11:47 am

Thank you all for your comments! I have to say, wosnes, I never thought about food as being more quilt provoking than pleasure provoking, but now that you point it out...it really is true. I guess that's part of the process here in NoS Land is to learn to not only be sensible about food but to also enjoy it.
Oolala, you mentioned about eating when we come home. I've often wondered why that is. I mean, I could be fine all day at work and not even be really hungry, but as soon as I walked in my door I wanted to munch on something. Can remember doing the same thing after school when I was younger. We condition ourselves to think that way I guess. Maybe it's because so many people associate food with comfort. A warm cup of hot chocolate with a couple cookies just always seemed to make the world look better.
As I've mentioned in a couple other posts on here, I grew up a thin child in a heavy family. My older brother was truly a compulsive eater and I can remember at a very young age realizing that there was something off-balance with his eating habits. I would see him on many occasions sit down and eat a whole loaf of bread or a whole plate of fudge if he was having a bad day. With all due respect (I loved my brother), I found it seriously repulsive. To this day I literally can't watch a pie eating contest or anything of that nature without turning away. Food does not hold that kind of fascination for me.
It is not the quantity of food with me, it's the quality. Healthy foods, for the most part, just simply don't taste that good to me. Sweets and carbs on the other hand, taste way TOO good! We all have our demons...that one is mine.
But you're right, Mimi, all of us who are on the No S journey, simply by being here and putting forth the effort to reprogram our views on food are 'already successful'! It's just a matter of learning to keep on keepin on!