unsupportive relatives

EmilyGF · Post by **EmilyGF** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 3:19 am

My mom is coming this weekend, to stay for 10 days, and she spends all day encouraging me to snack.

How have you kindly dealt with such relatives?

I'm planning on 1) not mentioning No-S at all and 2) saying, "I don't want to spoil my appetite" when she pushes food. If that fails, I'll drink tea all day long.

Then I am at least consuming *something*.

Her visits are long enough to really set the tone for a month and, though I generally have a great relationship with her, food seems to be an area of strife.

Any other ideas?

Emily

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 3:35 am

What you're planning to do is what I'd suggest you do. Good luck!

earl7z · Post by **earl7z** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:54 am

If she spends all day encouraging you to snack; politely decline, and instead encourage her to take a walk with you.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 2:41 pm

It feels like intentional sabotage when a loved one pushes food on us! Yet, it is probably more of a desire to give us a treat. I agree that you should not mention No S. From personal experience, I know this can backfire. My beloved bearer of food gifts now doubles efforts on weekends knowing that is fair game. I use the I'll save it for later technique a lot in order to keep weekends moderate.

For people who do not know anything about my No S lifestyle, I have gradually learned various polite denials and like you will opt for a beverage instead at times when everyone else is snacking.

Jayhawk28 · Post by **Jayhawk28** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:14 pm

I also think that its best to let your actions do the talking for you. I've made the mistake before of talking about the latest and greatest weight loss method I'm using. It's exhausitng and rarely positive. The truth is that any type of change is hard work and sometimes people have to reach a breaking point in order to put in the hard work of permanent changes or new habits. I'm looking forward being lean without saying a word about how I did it. I already know how great it feels to order a burger and fries and know that I'm reinforcing a healthy habit.

It's funny, now that I've been regularly doing No S for two months, I notice how much some people are obsessed by calories or fat grams. I have a woman in my office that is in love with 100 calorie snack packs. She's always eating.

I'm relieved to have sanity with No S.

finallyfull · Post by **finallyfull** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:17 am

Just a thought, since it's only 10 days -- could you fill your plates a little fuller at meals, so you are more "in touch" with how much you don't want to snack? You might even, for some private comic relief, pile your plate kind of high a few times so she will never be able to suggest you aren't eating enough. That could be kinda fun.

Also, I agree, you could counter-invite her for walks and activities so she comes to associate food-pushing with exercise.

But if it were me, big fat plates of food. Call me lazy.

jellybeans01 · Post by **jellybeans01** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:54 am

good idea not to mention "diet". I would even simply say "no thanks I am not hungry"

jw · Post by jw » Fri Aug 02, 2013 10:23 am

maybe you could have a project you are working on during the visit -- take up counted cross stitch, or needlepoint, or crochet or something else that involves both hands and can be done while chatting, watching tv, etc. (heavy "snack" times). That's a great diversion and makes it not so much about food!