Sinnie's Post-Pregnancy Check In 2014

[Sinnie]

Hey thanks guys. I know this is the internet, but your comments made me feel really good and warmed my heart.

I really have resided on this version of No S as my final decision. It just works. I rarely feel hungry, my meals leave me super happy and I always have something to look forward to. And the oddest perk of all, it's the only way I lose weight. I can claw my way through calorie restriction or diets to usually maintain or gain. But this blissful way of eating? Nah, that drops the pounds

At 123.5 lbs this morning. If I'd have kept this up as I did when leaving the hospital, I'd easily be back to pre-preg by now. But I actually don't really care. It was a learning curve and I needed to go through it. The weight will come off in time, I'm in no rush. DH always tells me I look great. Like he has a choice! hehe

So far March is off to a great start. We did end up at Starbucks yesterday. I got a short plain coffee with cream and a cake pop (instead of my planned tiny piece of cake w/ dinner). It was an insanely stressful evening with DH and step daughter fighting. I started taking it out on food, realized food just won't solve it and I don't need to numb out on sugar bc i can have it tomorrow. I stopped and didn't look back. I want to be a new person; one that just doesnt do that anymore. The damage stopped at a bite of cake and one chocolate almond cluster.

B: leftover chili con carne, piece of corn bread and black coffee.u (trying ot use up leftovers and DH can't handle the seasoning in chilli for some reason)

L: chilli w/ cheese, rice, couple bites salad, cake.

D: chicken thigh, frozen fries, 2 pierogies, apple. For dessert coffee w/ cream and a tiny plain timbit.

[oolala53]

It's hard to face that little else is as convenient for a good time as food. And how it easy it is for me to feel resistance to necessary tasks. I can't really say I've improved much else in my life besides my eating. But given how it was, that's something!

[eschano]

Improving your eating is improving your health, which improves your mental state - I'd say you've improved a lot!

[Sinnie]

That true eschano I agree. oolala even if that was true, being able to improve your eating and have as much wisdom on the subject as you do, is a monumental task that many people never get. You have no idea how much value your comments add around here!

Well, this is totally humiliating. I binged last night. I was even going to not mention it here, then thought there is no benefit to that. It's amazing that the one thing that still screws me up almost no fail is STRESS. I thought being on mat leave and not having my job as a teacher would eliminate most of it. But when step daughter and DH fight, and I get in the middle it's brutal. They just don't get along. She is a difficult kid with issues that aren't clear. Yes, trying to get her help. For the most part, she is 100% fine with me (b/c I am a very meek individual and have the uncanny ability to bite my tongue like none other) and leave the discipline to him. But he's been threatening that if she doesn't follow the rules, she has to leave. She thinks it's unfair that I am not stepping in. Problem is, if I do he gets mad b/c then it validates what she does rather than me saying just stop being an idiot. I can't handle it. I tell him I am not going to fight with her everyday to do homework, don't wear provocative clothing, don't be late, don't talk to that guy who ruined your life last year etc because she knows all of that, and I can't live in a house where he is gone almost 100%of the time and it be an unpleasant place. Okay, it's a lot more complicated than that, but it sorta sums it up.

125

B: 1/2 cinnamon raisin bagel with butter; black coffee

Vanilla mint mocha.

L: slice of veggie pizza at Gino's and diet Pepsi while waiting at the passport office. Didn't enjoy it though, scarfed it down. Wasn't dhungry but was afraid I would be starved by the time I got home.

D: ravioli, chilli with cheddar on top and spinach salad with pear.

Came down for dessert, but had the leftover fries from the other day, half a banana and then 4 cake balls from the freezer with icing, and one chocolate truffle.

Feeling so discouraged. I am really aggravated that I keep doing this. It stems from none of my meals being satisfying today b/c I wasn't hungry for any of them.

[eschano]

Sounds like a very difficult situation Sinnie! I know you'll find a good answer, you probably already know it. Sorry not to be able to advise any better.

[Sinnie]

Thank you Eschano. Things are already looking better. Appreciate the sympathy

Well, two days this week screwed up already. Keep on, keepin' on right?

Here we go. 125 again.

B: 1/2 bagel w/ pb and 1/2 banana with black coffee.

L: leftover chili with cheese, chicken thigh, cornbread, raw veg and vanilla cafe at lait.

D: BBQ chicken, ravioli, salad

Donut and coffee at the mall with friend.
Picked at some food but stopped before WTH effect.

[lpearlmom]

I definitely feel your pain Sinnie. Such a tough situation. Good for you to stay out of it. I guess the only plus side is you guys are learning so much about these tough years. You can decide how you'd like to do things differently (or the same) with your little one.

No matter how mad she is at her Dad, deep down at least she knows he cares and some day that'll mean a lot.

Best of luck!

Linda

[Sinnie]

Thanks Linda. Luckily things are not so tense anymore. But the peace never lasts!

Today was a good day eating wise.
B: half bagel w butter, egg, small bowl raw oatmeal cereal w protein powder.
Vanilla latte
L: some chicken and brown rice, carrots, popcorn and banana. Watered down oj
D: bangers n mash, peas/carrots/corn and one homemade choc pb cookie

[Sinnie]

B: cereal w/ protein powder and whole milk.
L: chicken, pasta w cheese, bite banana and cookie w coffee
D: went to a place with an unlimited tasting menu. Did well and no crazy over eating. Remembered the saying I've never regretted the things I didn't eat. Had sushi, French onion soup, calabrese salad, pad Thai, flatbread w veg n cheese, mixed veg.

[Sinnie]

Doing a little challenge to see how many days I can go without snacking. Hoping for 100.

This is day 3.

B: eggs, bacon and half bagel with butter
L: tuna, mashed potatoes, few tortilla chips, baby carrots and sliced cucumber
D: mom made turkey dinner - asparagus soup to start, turkey, stuffing, mashed potato, gravy, salad. Lemon/coconut poundcake and strawberries drizzled with choc for dessert.

EDIT: DH and I did have a cookie before bed. He never eats dessert and I was really stressed, so the combo kinda let my guard down. It's OK -- there was no binge. It seemed worth it.

[Sinnie]

Down to 123 lbs which is awesome. I've been logging a trend and it's cool to see that even though I don't seem to be losing weight, it's just happening sooo slowly and the trend shows the real picture.

Moving on to a new day and feeling stressed and motivated at the same time. It's March break - which means DSD (dear step daughter!) will be home for the week. She has no friends and nothing to do so that means a lot more on me. It's so sad, by 17 you should really have your own life going on. Such as it is...

I would like to add 14 minutes but up until this point don't feel motivated enough to do it. We are going to Cuba on a big family vacation in April which is very cool, we've never done that before, and I'm totally fine about my weight (never been one to lose weight for an occasion) but it'd be nice to feel "tighter" which exercise gives.

B: banana w pb, toast w pb, vanilla latte
L: turkey, gravy, stuffing, salad and cookie w coffee
D: pasta w/ turkey, spinach in a little broth, chicken fingers and fish fingers, pierogi's and cuke/tomato salad. 1/2 Cookie and coffee.

Day 4 went very well and I even did 14 mins.

[eschano]

Hi Sinnie,

Why don't you try enrolling your DSD in some kind of course, depending on what she's into. Maybe something sporty or artsy or just fun. And she might even make friends there? Plus, it will get her out of the house. Maybe even some volunteer experience? Like helping kids learn to read or helping out at a soup kitchen? Might be a good experience for her as a person too.

And well done on your loss and on keeping count. My weightloss also only shows in a trend.

[Sinnie]

Hey eschano, you are absolutely right, that is the logical thing to do. We've tried it many times before, it doesn't seem to make a difference and she doesn't make friends.

Up to 124 which is annoying but fine nonetheless

B: vanilla mint mocha, raw oatmeal/protein powder/whole milk cereal
L: pancake (milk, flour, 1 egg mixed together cooked in butter) and too much real maple syrup poured on it. But it was real good. Canned peach slices too. Small small handful trail mix.
D: 2 pieces pork snitzel, pasta w olive tapenade, coleslaw and 2 cookies and 1 ferraro rocher for dessert!

I feel good food-wise, not like I overate at all, but the challenge will be not eating anymore tonight if I continue to feel a bit annoyed as I do right now.

Managed to avoid the cookies when a friend stopped by earlier!

[Imogen Morley]

Vanilla mint mocha sounds delicious! Where do you get it?

[eschano]

That's a pity. I really feel for her. For some people it is very hard to make friends and that is a hard burden to bear. I have one or two friends who barely have any other friends and they suffer a great deal over finding it that hard to bond with people.

I'd still say give it another go, even if just for the sake of getting an hour or a couple of hours just for yourself in the house. And she might surprise you.

[Sinnie]

123.5 this morning. I am floating around the same weight constantly for a long time now because I can't buckle down. I am doing well with my NO Snacks mod, although my DH is challenging me to 3 weeks of straight no snacks, sweets or seconds to break my "addiction" lol (this is how he eats naturally, so naturally he thinks it's great). I like the idea of a kind of recasting for a specific period of time, which also coincides nicely with the vacation after. I'll give it a go.

Imogen - I make the vanilla mint mocha it's kind of a made up little thing I concocted. I had leftover coffee pods (you know for those Keurig machines) in a Christmas candy cane flavour, so I use that as a base "mint" - then I add a tbsp of hot chocolate powder which add the mocha flavour...then I froth whole milk with a splash of vanilla creamer. Let me tell you it's WOW good -- my opinion better than Starbucks and way cheaper and healthier too At some point I calculated it at 100 calories which is a great filler when I am sooo craving something. I personally find it quite sweet, but then again, I drink coffee black.

Eschano - it is a pity. She doesn't, how can I put it, look like someone who
wouldn't have friends. She is a pretty girl, thin, cares what she dresses like etc (you're typical teenage girl). BUT as you said, she can't BOND with people at all. I remember meeting her and thinking, wow, I've never had a hard time relating or bonding with someone. She is different, sadly, and I'm super kind and nice to her, but there is something amiss. He has taken her to doctor's and there was a mild asperger's diagnosis, if that's really it I don't know. She can be very difficult, argumentative, contrary, too honest that it's hurtful, talks a lot about herself, interrupts conversations, doesn't seem like she can genuinely be interested in others. DH has been coaching her to better for YEARS. She is and can fake it to some degree. But as a result, no one really wants to be around her. Even me, if I'm to be 100% honest, although she can be sweet and funny. When she's like that I'm happy, but she can turn from that to completely irritating in an instant. She doesn't get things most 17 years old would, like why she can't be late for class. Of course teenagers are like that, but if you can't make a single friend permanently there is a problem. It's very discouraging and difficult. I could go on and on, that is barely tipping the iceberg on the issue.

Okay, day 1 of No Sweets, No Seconds, No Snacks! EEEKKK!!!

B: 2 cups black coffee, "protein bar" (oatmeal, milk, pb, and ppowder mixed)
L: pasta, can flavored tuna, baby carrots, coffee w vanilla creamer and milk
D: 2 salmon patties, frozen fries, cuke/tom salad, piece bran muffin

I was really hungry before dinner so I had a watered down hot choc. Hot drinks soo much for filling and satisfying for me.

Dying for something - 10pm at night -DH on his way home and still needs to eat dinner. Made a cup of decaf w/ a splash vanilla creamer...seems to have done the trick..PHEW

[Sinnie]

Okay, this is the plan for today:

Breakfast was a bran muffin w/ butter and black coffee

Had a cup of half caf coffee w/ vanilla.

Lunch I am planning on a grilled cheese sandwich, an apple and 4 walnuts. Edit: also had bean salad

Screwed up. Lunch wasn't filling enough and I picked at some bread and couple bites of cinnamon coffee cake.

Dinner I am going to make ribs, bread, rice, salad, and maybe spaghetti squash.

[automatedeating]

dinner sounds like it will be delicious!

[Sinnie]

Thanks auto the ribs were one of my better ones. I slow cooked them. I used the bread recipe from the off-topic section here, the thread called artisan bread and it turned out quite well!

[osoniye]

Mmmmm ribs!

[Sinnie]

osoniye, DH said they were the best he's had. Isn't it funny how when you don't try things turn out better? LOL. I went to meet a friend for coffee, so I left them at a low heat in the oven and told DSD to turn off the oven when the timer went. I guess them sitting for awhile made them really tender. Maybe also a good cut of meat. Who KNows!

Yesterday wasn't perfect, but for the fact I didn't let it get to the WTH effect, I'm very proud. I was thinking, if I always resisted the binge, maybe over time verrry slowly the weight would come off without any undue discomfort, even if I overdo more than I think I should.

Breakfast - bran muffin w/ butter and black coffee

Lunch - spaghetti squash topped w/ tomato sauce and cheese, homemade bread w/ butter, green apple sprinkled w/ cinnamon, 4 walnut halves, 6 almonds.

I will reconvene tomorrow. I messed up today after too much ambitious thinking they just got me off track. I snacked mid afternoon, picked a lot at dinner and then got two timbitsand coffee at the mall with a friend. Not the worst day but I realized how much I missed a formal dinner which I really do look forward to if I don't spoil my appetite. No more food, no binging, just moving on tomorrow.

[Sinnie]

I've been meaning to post but just have not gotten the chance to get on the computer alone over the weekend (I find typing lots on my iphone too much).

I need to get organized bringing the baby on a trip down south. It's overwhelming to think of everything she'll need, nevermind for myself!

I've been keeping up with No S, but couldn't do the no sweets thing. Nope, doesn't work for me. Starbucks seems to be our thing recently, which is so weird because we never went there all these years together. Anyways, on the weekend had TWO cake pops, b/c I got one for DH but he didn't want it. Last night, I got one of their huge cookies. But now I have it with black coffee; I realized I don't care for their lattes like I thought. I guess I am really picky on how it's made, and I prefer mine at home where I have control. I got all kinds of coffee paraphernalia!

Weight is down to 122.5 - I am happy I stuck out the plateau and was thrilled to see a sudden 1 lb drop.

[eschano]

Yay to sticking out the plateau! Love when that happens.

[Sinnie]

Except when it bounces up 1.5 lbs overnight LOL All par for the course, right!?!

Need to log again for a few days..

B: bagel with butter, few grapes
L: canned baked beans, big plate homemade pasta
D: sausage, potato/sweet potatoes, few raw veg, 3 small slices bread with pb & honey

Tired and cranky, had a coffee and a brownie at 7pm.

[automatedeating]

Hi Sinnie,
Hope you are doing well.
Spring is here!

[Sinnie]

Hi Auto! How lovely of you to think of me and stop by. Truth be told, I've sauntered over to the dark side once again Okay, maybe not exactly, it's just calorie counting. But it's really what I need to be doing right now, it's providing me joy (imagine that), and I am learning a lot along the way. I still wholeheartedly believe in No S principles. No matter what diet I've ever done, it failed without exception because some basic rules need apply 100% of the time. I cannot just randomly munch here and there; it was my undoing for years and years. Planned meals (or snacks/dessert for that matter) is the only way to do, calorie counting or not. I guess right now I have the time to concentrate on diet and it's fun to do this. I am still aiming for three meals a day without permasnacking. But I indulge in dessert every day (probably not the healthiest thing) but like I said, I am really enjoying this. I am following the advice on the hackers diet in tandem with no s

[eschano]

If it works for you and you're enjoying this then that's delightful! Seems like you're going strong.

[Sinnie]

Thank you Eschano! I'm leaving to Cuba in a few days so I will probably start reporting more here after that (its been pretty busy trying to get ready, make sure I have everything for baby etc). But the weather is FINALLY getting more mild so I am so excited to start going for walks! My poor dog hasn't been walked properly since early December. Good thing she's only 8 lbs!!!

[automatedeating]

You're taking baby on a long airplane ride and international trip? Wow, you are awesome, Sinnie! I seriously barely left the house for like 4 months after my first son was born. Wow, wow, wow. Have fun, enjoy some warm weather!

[oolala53]

Hope you're having fun in Cuba!

[Sinnie]

Thought I should pop in and update my NoS friends. First off, vacation was great! Surprisingly, it was no problem bringing a 3 month old - can you imagine?!? She is truly my little angel baby, still sleeps through the night although now she goes to bed earlier. She will be 4 months in the next few days I actually maintained my weight over holidays which is great because I ate as much as I wanted and had sweets with every meal - but - you guessed it - no snacks!!!

I have been keeping up with the calorie counting. For some reason, it has clicked this time. Not that I don't mess up or still overeat occasionally but it has provided me with a peace I haven't had for a long time. I'm conflicted about how to describe this. I LOVE NOS. Always have, it sounds so dignified and smart. I don't feel like a moron (pardon the expression, mean no offence to anyone) for falling into some diet that only a dumb person would believe will work. But, the truth is, I tried No S time after time after time, and years into it I still struggled, binged and just couldn't get it. I actually spent FAR, FAR more time thinking about food and when I could eat next. I would kill hours on the site, just reading and reading. Now, I get up and don't waste so much time because I just mentally log what I'm eating, a rough (or exact) calorie estimate and go about my business. Having said that, I learned something from No S I couldn't be more grateful for: no more permasnacking. Don't get me wrong, I think this way of eating is miraculous in so many ways, and yet, it just never found its way into unconscious thought for me. I was able to lose the weight I wanted to on it, but I think part of that was my DH really forcing me to stay on it because it is his natural way of eating (minus the weekend craziness). He didn't want me to bother dieting or counting or whatever - just eat normal 3 meals a day and be done with it. But it caused such obsession in me. I like that I'm not consumed with it anymore, but I love this community and so want to stay part of it.

I think, for me, No S is the perfect way to manage weight. I have an uncanny ability to maintain my weight, therefore never really yo-yo at all, but losing weight is just brutal. So, I think I am going to focus hard until I get this last ten lbs off and possibly use No S to maintain because the pressure will be less.

Sorry, just typing as I think. Hope no one takes this the wrong way, because this system really is spectacular. I just need a little more control to feel at peace, at least for right now.

[osoniye]

Hi Sinnie- Great to hear from you again! I'm glad your vacation went so well and that you were able to maintain your weight loss.
There's nothing in the world wrong with combining calorie counting with NoS! (I really like the Hacker's Diet site as well.) You said, "I have an uncanny ability to maintain my weight, therefore never really yo-yo at all..."- wow you're really fortunate in that, I find it easier to lose weight, but then it comes right back on.
Just curious, what calorie level are you shooting for?

[Imogen Morley]

Hey, Sinnie, we missed you! Glad to hear you had a nice time. I was surprised to hear that you were going to take such a small baby for a trip like that, but now I understand why it seemed like a good idea - your little girl is amazingly well-behaved!
I second what you said about vanilla. I, too, have been mentally logging my calories since Easter, and focusing on avoiding snacking, with an occasional treat on my meal plate. So once again we're doing more or less the same, keeping the very basic structure of No S, but adding mods that don't exacerbate our binge eating problems. Good luck!

[oolala53]

Mental logging sounds rather No S to me in that successful losers here seem to adopt relatively routine meals that are rather low-to-moderate calorie. And they don't seem to leave it up to fate meal after meal.

Glad you had such a great trip and congrats on being so lucky with your new darlin'.

[Sinnie]

Osoniye - thank you for your comment. It's true that most people have a hard time with maintaining and thats why diets lure them in because they can lose but before long it comes back. I am the opposite - I've actually never lost any significant weight on ANY diet until No S. But I maintain like a champ. I find losing weight SUCH a struggle.

Imogen - it sounds like you are doing well. The mental logging helps I find to make good choices too because you want your meal to be rounded out with low-calorie but good for you things so you are not just eating a tiny dense portion

Oolala - I found what you said to be very motivating. Its nice to know that its OK to pay some attention and that it can even make you successful long term. I guess years of binging/dieting make you think that any focus on weight loss is just a bad mindset. But it doesn't have to be!

I weighed myself and am down to 119 lbs. I am pretty happy with that. It's been fairly easy but I still have bad habits I need to kick - namely, snacking at night. I did it during No S, and I do while calorie counting. I just am so addicted to that routine.

I have a baby shower today. My goal is to enjoy one plate and have a dessert with coffee. No going back two to three times, no trying out 50 desserts.

[eschano]

Sounds like a good goal Sinnie!

Also, 119 pounds seems very low so you can probably relax some more than people trying to lose weight on NoS.

[oolala53]

I was actually thinking less of the mental calorie count as a weight loss tool than a satiety tool. I believe it's the exception in humans to be totally unthinking about how much to eat at any one moment and to go just by feel. I'd sometimes do a mental note of the dense items' ballpark calories to find the sweet spot between enough and too much to put on the plate. I'm like Reinhard in that it's unlikely I'll leave food on my plate, so I opt to make the servings of dense foods even smaller, though I'm not usually thinking calories these days as much as smaller volume.

[Sinnie]

I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, and I had some thoughts. I think I may re-introduce myself to No S more purely again. I've developed some good routines (namely, including more veggies) and also continued with some bad habits (snacking too much). Through calorie counting, I learned better portion sizes and that I actually don't starve if I eat less. I should surely be able to make it a few hours between meals!

I think I need to make some rules up front. That's hard because mods can still be really successful but if I don't stick to something everything seems up for grabs at any time.

I realized a few things. I weigh the same doing No S (which never feels like dieting to me in the traditional sense) as when doing a formal diet. The second thing is I tend to gravitate around this weight and usually end up here anyways, so why fight it anymore? Doing No S faithfully will slowly bring me down a few lbs for sure; it always has. Just be content with that.

I'm happy I played around with calorie counting as I have a new perspective, got myself down a couple lbs (although I haven't weighed very recently) and am ready to scratch it for now.

Since I continued to eat three meals, this isn't a big stretch.

I'm not really sure if I'm doing Vanilla, so until I figure it out, I'll just go with that.

Here's my tentative plan for today:

Breakfast:
1 fried egg, 1 slice buttered light bread, and an apple. Black coffee.

Lunch:
4 fish sticks, spaghetti squash topped w/ pizza sauce and mozzarella, frozen fries and water.

Dinner:
2 bbq chicken legs, rice, broccoli/mushrooms/onions/peanuts stirfry and mango juice.

Dessert:
Black decaf americano and salted caramel cake pop at Starbucks

I'm feeling a bit sick and had a bowl of chicken noodle soup before dinner.
I really want a dessert or something, but I need to learn to find other fun things to do at night.

[oolala53]

If you're eating three meals a day, no snacks, sweets or seconds, on N days and allowing for occasional S's on S days, you're doing Vanilla. If that's a goal.

[Sinnie]

You are right oolala. I guess the problem is I don't really stick to that pattern, which is why I hesitated saying I'm doing Vanilla.

I updated Thursday's food. I ended up getting a little dessert and decided to have that be part of the rules instead of fighting it. I just love and need that time of day, many day's of the week. I almost turned it into a binge because I "screwed up" but decided just enjoy this purely, and you can even have another dessert tomorrow. That was it. I guess my mod is 4 meals a day - one being dessert if I choose!

Weight is holding at 119.

[oolala53]

You don't have to do Vanilla to be successful. Whatever you are peaceful with is success- for now. It sounds like you are being reasonable and moderate. No S is just a path to get there. Nicest walk I've been on in this journey!

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, I think my mod is very similar to yours. I am finding I enjoy eating 3 meals and having a dessert at a separate time. At this point, I'm debating on whether to have it in the afternoon, while my son is napping, or at night, after my kids go to bed (I'm leaning towards afternoon, because I'd have more time to burn it off). I think as long as your weight holds steady, and you can keep it at a moderate amount of desserts, then you should be okay. I do have a question for you. Since you do have this mod, do you take S Days?

[Sinnie]

Hey Clarinetgal! You ask a good question. I am kind of in a period of transition/shifting habits so I don't really have a solid answer. But I can give you a long-winded one!

I don't consciously take S days. I suppose that's because I don't follow a rigid N-day/S-day pattern; if I did, maybe I would. BUt having said that, I do usually end up overeating/splurging tons on weekends, so a part of me says "just make it PART of the rules!" But, I am never able to make it a full week eating perfect Vanilla, so I don't feel the need to allow free-for-all S days. I generally just feel better physically and mentally if 100% of the time I eat following a schedule of 3 meals and perhaps dessert. I've struggled with how to do this for such a long time. As of late, I think I've finally come or am coming to a resolution that after much, much practice has gotten close to something that will work for me. I used to think, oh if I just tack desserts onto meals...which worked but then what if we go out later? DH doesn't like to eat dessert with meals etc etc.

So final conclusion: Eat three meals a day, and I am going to include some calorie counts this week just informally. I can eat dessert if I want, at any time of day that happens to work. Just one. I'll adjust this as necessary!

[Sinnie]

Breakfast:
1/2 bagel, 30 g brie cheese and roasted garlic with black coffee.

Lunch:
Veggie beef strips in roti with Brie and stir fry.

Snack: oops
Bread with pb and dark chocolate

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, Thanks! I think my weekends are kind of the same as yours. I try not to treat them as free for alls (unless it's a special day), but I do relax the rules quite a bit. I still like the idea of 3 meals and one dessert, so I will try to stick with that plan.

[Sinnie]

The more time passes, the more I am relaxing about following rules. If I felt like I screwed up in the past, I would always binge. Now, it's gone down dramatically. I really like that. That's where I've just accepted I will NEVER do vanilla in it's purest form. I'm just not that disciplined. I kinda wish I was, but it doesn't appeal to me that much anymore. I realized that over these years fighting to make it work, it never did, and I missed out on a lot of enjoyment at times and compensated with a binge later. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I'm happy with the level of normalcy I feel I'm getting at.

Today was three solid meals and an hour or so after dinner sat down with a decaf coffee and big homemade cookie. No, it's not ideal from a health/nutrition standpoint. But I just don't care right now. I'm also tired and feel a cold coming on, so that could be why I'm so nonchalant right now about my diet.

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, I think what you say makes a lot of sense, actually. I love the No S emphasis on habit and moderation, but I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to pure Vanilla No S, either. I know when I tried it, I felt resentful during the week when I couldn't have sweets, and I binged on the weekends. I think mostly sticking to No S principles, but allowing a little bit of leeway sounds good!

[Sinnie]

Thanks clarinetgal. It helps to feel supported. Such a wonderful board - we all just want each other to find out what works best personally for us.

I am feeling really good today. I did a bunch of cleaning today (starting to really use FlyLady!) and my DH will come home to a sparkling house. It kept me busy so I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself as I often do when he's working and I feel I've really earned my latte and cookie - which I am eating right now!!!

Three good meals - one dessert - weighed in at 118 today. Things are going well

[clarinetgal]

Nice! I just started following FlyLady, too! So are you a SAHM? I'm a mostly SAHM (I do a tiny bit of substitute teaching), and I find that keeping busy really helps! I agree about this board! The people here are really supportive, and I love how No S can be tweaked so it can work for different ways of eating.

[Sinnie]

Sorry CG I didn't see your post until now! I am on maternity leave - so kinda a SAHM at the moment. I'll probably go back to work at least part time. Kind of a decision I will struggle with! I'd love nothing more than to stay home with my baby, but a lot of factors to consider. I am a teacher too and where I live it's not easy to come by those jobs at all. There are so many benefits that it'd be hard to justify giving it up even though financially we'd be fine. I almost feel ashamed because so many friends say how they could never stay home, they don't want to be the cook & maid, need adult interaction etc etc. To be perfectly honest, I'd be fine with those aspects of being home. I can't let other people's opinions sway me. Lots to consider...In any case, sorry for the rant, it just brought up a lot of thoughts I have been having recently. Being home has made eating well so much easier though

[eschano]

Wow, Sinnie, you find that being at home makes eating well EASIER? I wish I could get a slice of that attitude. For me it just makes me want to stuff my face all the time

I think you're right not to let other people chime in. It's a big decision.

[lpearlmom]

Hey Sinnie

I haven't stopped by in awhile but wanted to let you know that although I struggle w my sahm status at times, overall I'm extremely happy with my decision. I did need to work when my oldest was first born because DH was still doing his residency and it was so hard. All I could think about was my baby. After a year of that I stayed home. Then again, when my youngest was three, I decided to go to culinary school for 8 months. It was an amazing experience but again all I could think about was being home with my kids. Clearly this is where I'm meant to be.

My DH works a ton, like yours I believe, and I know that if I worked I'd be working and still doing most of the household/child care stuff. It works better for our family to have things divided up in a more traditional way although we are both very much believe in equal rights. It's just a practical decision not a philosophical decision for us.

So just do what will work best for your family and don't listen to anyone else.

Best of luck!

Linda

Ps absolutely nothing wrong nutritionally w a cookie! Seems like a lovely way to end the day.

[automatedeating]

Sinnie, good luck with your decision! I think mamas often end up having second thoughts about our decisions, no matter what we decide!!! You know, as working moms go, being a teacher really is the closest to best of both worlds--eventually same hours as your kiddos, summers and major holidays off. I'm as content as I'm going to get, I think. So I hope you find what makes you most content.

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, I'm a part time substitute teacher, so I can relate. Before my kids were born, I subbed or taught full time. Once my older son was born, I stayed home full time with my kids, up until this past year. I sub from time to time, but I'm still mostly a SAHM. You definitely have to do what's best for you, and for your family.

[Sinnie]

I'm sorry my replies are so sketchy these days! I feel so rude when I read these thoughtful comments and only respond days later.

Linda - I totally understand what you are saying and I like how you phrased it "a practical decision not a philosophical decision" - that's like us too. I've always wanted to be a SAHM since I was little believe it or not, I guess because my mom was mainly home while we were young and it meant the world to me. I really love the homey idea of it, having home-cooked food ready, keeping a house running - love that stuff - not so much a career-oriented person deep down. But I feel there is so much stigma associated with how I feel that I don't really share it with many people, because most women I know *want* to work. WHich leads me to my next point...

Auto - what you said is pretty much where I'm headed - teaching is the best of both worlds which is another huge reason not to let it go. I mean, the hours are ridiculous compared to my office-working friends. Of course, you have to mark and plan sometimes outside of regular hours, but it's a far cry from some office environments. The pay is very good (where I live, all things considered), the benefits are stellar and clearly vacation isn't too shabby either. The cons? Well, I live pretty far from where i work, the kids can be really stressful at times, staying on top of marking can be a real chore and being up very early to commute AND doing all the housework, realistically. DH just isn't home enough to contribute.

CG - substitute teaching is something I always thought might be a fantastic middle ground to all those considerations. In my ideal world, I'd continue working until I had one more baby and then maybe stay home and sub here and there. I have signed up to go back only part time initially which I think will be awesome, and I think I'll take an extra unpaid semester off as well.

Only time will tell how things will turn out. I do like my job some days a lot, it can be fun to see co-workers and all that. The students aren't so bad either! Working full time would provide my family with a solid amount of extra cash which is never a bad thing, amazing pension down the road and benefits which are better than DH's (my fertility drugs were covered 100%).

Eyyy....decisions, decisions...

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, Yes, that is a tough decision. I would love to teach part time, at some point. It would get me out of the house, but I'd still have plenty of time with my kids. What grade do you teach?

[Sinnie]

CG, yet again, sorry for the late response. I teach high school. I think I like teaching, but not in the conventional sense i.e. plan lessons and deliver to a classroom full of students. I have done a bit of alternative teaching (at risk students) which is a bit different and really liked that. I also would love to do co-op where kids go out and work. It's not like I can just go and do that, they're hard positions to attain, I guess because there are so few of them. As I started to get depressed thinking of going back to work, I realized I just need to change, eventually, into something I like. I tend to be very dramatic and think everything is carved in stone.

I have been doing some thinking lately, and especially this morning, of making a more fulltime return to No S. DH's good friend is in the hospital and looks like he may not make it (never met the fellow, but heard he's a fantastic guy - he lives far away). It got me thinking what's important in life. I don't mean to get all weepy or anything, and this is something hopefully all of us already know but it can get sidetracked -- vanity weight and dieting is NOT important. I guess I look at it as more of hobby? A goal? I don't feel bad about it, but I also want to re-look at my life, where I spend my time and never look back that these precious few months my baby is a *small baby* that will never be again. I feel sometimes I just go through the motions, clean way too much while she is awake, think about things while I am with her etc and I want to treasure the time more. This does not really relate to No S - yet somehow it's the first thing I connected to. I started binging again, which is something I did on No S and off of it.

Anyways, I'll continue giving it some thought. I don't want to overwhelm myself with plans because then I give up out of frustration.

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, I understand. I know when I was teaching full time, I liked the actual teaching, and I liked being with the kids (most of the time), but I did not particularly enjoy the lesson planning, report cards, teacher training sessions, etc... I think when/if I go back to doing it full time, I would rather do a specialist position (like music, Language Arts, etc...) so I could be with a variety of kids, or maybe even subbing full time, so I could do a variety of jobs, instead of just being in one class all year. I hope you're eventually able to land a position you like better.
Your idea of focusing on what is really important in life hit home with me. I know I've gone through what you were describing with both of my boys when they were little (my youngest is still only 2), and I'm definitely trying to enjoy my time with my 2 year old. It really does go by too fast. I'm sorry about your husband's friend. Good health is definitely important. I'm actually thinking about committing more to No S, too.
I would say take it in baby steps. I know for me, I'm focusing on not eating after dinner (a big problem for me). I also just bought some healthier sweets, and I'm trying to get away from more processed sweets.

[eschano]

I love what you said about the things that are important in life. Hear hear!

[Sinnie]

Hey guys, thanks for the support.

I haven't really committed as I said I would. I got really grumpy between meals. I adopted a more "normal eating" pattern, similiar to what Anoulie posted on her thread. It worked very well. Then yesterday I got some nutball thinking about how I should try to do a no grain-sugar-dairy thing to see if it will help my inflammation issues. Well did that not only make me anxious and binge on the very stuff I should be avoiding I can't live that way. And I am not even convinced it would make a difference; apparently not even willing to try!

Not sure where I stand at the moment, but I feel good, my weight is lower than it was before baby (115-116 holding still) and I just want to keep improving. The bingeing has diminished considerably.

B: rice krispies with almond milk, nectarine and banana cut up into it; black coffee

L: veggie soup, half a bagel with tuna and cheese, small nectarine, small orange and half banana.

Soon after lunch a spoonful of peanut butter, coffee with hazelnut cream and a chocolate dipped granola bar.

[clarinetgal]

I think if you feel good and you're at a reasonable weight, then you're probably just fine. Yes, no grains, sugar, and dairy is hard. I tried Paleo for awhile, and although I lost some weight, I felt like I was eating the same few meals all of the time. I still try to limit dairy, since it bothers me, but i've gone back to eating some grains, and I'm still working on the sugar. I think there is a certain truth to everything in moderation.

[Sinnie]

Hi people!

It's been awhile. I've been meaning to get on here and update what I am up to because you've all been so supportive of my crazy half hearted efforts in the past.

I've pretty much tossed No S to the wayside - I finally realized it just WAS NOT working. I tried for years upon years, with well-intentioned DH really encouraging it as the only way. As my check-ins show over and over again, I just constantly binged. If I did OK, then my weight tended to hover around 120.

In any case, I did a very mild form of calorie counting (99% of the time not even knowing how many I had by the end of the day) but by focusing a bit more on the quality of my food (rather than just a heaping plate of carbs but no seconds of veggies!) I was able to fill up on less calorie dense foods when I wanted them, still of course eating tons of whatever I wanted, worked over time. I slowly inched down to 113 which is the lowest weight of my adult life never to obtained on No S yet. Not all glamourous, as I eat desserts every.sinlgle.day and that's probably not the best habit formation. I also wonder if breastfeeding is making this so easy - I never go hungry whereas on NoS I was STARVING for a large portion of the day waiting for meals and then usually overeating OR binging at night.

Pros were that I can eat when I want, I eat more nutritious food, I can adjust easily based on the day (if at a friend's I can have a coffee and pastry guilt-free)

Cons are that I am often not properly hungry for meals and I spend too much time snacking here and there.

The other thing I'm factoring in is that I've recently stumbled upon veganism. Never understood why people were vegans. Well, after watching a documentary on animal welfare and factory farming I've stopped eating meat (maybe a month or two now?) and limited dairy. I don't really consider myself a vegetarian or vegan yet as I still will consume animal products but it's thrown a curveball as to the life I as accustomed to living. I fancy myself a good cook and now my world has been rocked a bit. I am a huge animal lover and I don't know how to reconcile the treatment of them as meat before they are meat. DH, a meat lover to be sure, has been so supportive, but it's made me obsessed with looking at vegan blogs and cooking. I spend tons of time pouring over websites like Chocolate Covered Katie making her super easy desserts almost every day. I realized today I spend way too much time on this and I feel it's to the detriment of my baby - time I should be playing and interacting with her more. Time I should be doing other things.

So, naturally, I started thinking about No S again. When I did intermittently try here and there again at 3 meals, I failed miserably. But today it dawned on me, I need to start living life more fully. I am not going to save the animals by being on the internet. I can do my best to buy as much free range for DH as possible, limit it myself, etc while not letting it stress me out or overcome my quality of life. But then I thought I need to deal with the discomfort of between meal grumpiness and suffer through it so I don't waste my time snacking/cleaning up/reading recipes etc.

Not sure where I stand exactly, but thought I should at least update this quandary as I do like to keep a record to look back on for myself. Hope to get around and see how everyone else is doing.

[eschano]

Hi Sinnie, welcome back!

Thank you for sharing your new ways - it's fascinating. Personally, I think while breastfeeding you HAVE to do what works for you, no matter how much you want to follow a system. For some, like ironchef, it comes easy but most would struggle. I wouldn't force it.

As for veganism: I am very concerned about animal welfare too, which is why I buy most of our meat from a farm (which sells direct as well) close to our house. I've seen the conditions there and the animals there are treated very well (their philosophy is all about symbiosis between humans and animals). I don't know where you live but if you have some kettle farms around you it might be worth checking them out and asking to see the animals
If not: organic, free-range animals are always a good bet, as are grass-fed cows or my absolute favourite meat (especially when in Austria where it is heavily regulated and is only available in season etc.) is game: that virtually guarantees that the animal had a natural life before landing on your plate. You have to specify that the game was from the wild though, not some game farm. I get mine in the UK from a farmer who has acres and acres of forest attached to his land and he shoots it himself and then sells it on the market.

We also have vegetarian days and try to go for animals that are easier controlled. Free-range, corn fed, gives you a fair idea about how the hens were treated for example.

Anyways, just a thought as while vegan works for some people, I know it would absolutely not work for me.

[Sinnie]

Eschano - I really, really, really appreciate your thoughts on the animals. I am definitely going to further investigate. Believe it or not, this has caused me a lot of stress which probably sounds weird. I don't really know anyone who cares about the welfare of animals. I know two vegetarians, but it's because of religion they grew up with, and they don't know a thing about animal welfare. I also wanted to ask you about dairy consumption. My research seems to show it's two sides of the same industry. I feel like a freak because morally I don't want to eat meat and dairy because of the horrible, inhumane treatment - but no one around me feels so strongly and I still want to live in THIS world if you know what I mean.

So far I've sourced a local farm that sells free range eggs (apparently they have to stay covered though because of foxes etc). Still, better than factory farmed. So I buy there. Today I am going to the grocery to check out a brand called Blue Goose as they are certified humane. I know it'll cost a fortune but I see no other option. I am okay not eating meat or eating very very little. I used to be semi vegetarian as a teen and ate little meat until meeting DH who could live on meat alone. Given that, I am thoroughly impressed by his support of me on this endeavour. He is also lactose intolerant, so I joke that together we make a vegan

Anyhow, you gave me more to think about. I like the idea of wild game. I am not inherently against eating animals - it's mainly the horrific conditions they live before getting slaughtered. The demand for meat is so incredibly high that there is no way they can monitor this, all the government cares about is human consumption safety. Ethical standards are voluntary. Just gruesome and disgusting.

As for eating, I've been binging again because I am thrown off my eating habits because of this veganism stuff. I find I don't really know what to eat while still feeding my family normally, and ensuring I don't force my values on to my baby in the future so she can decide what she believes all causes me STRESS.

This morning I was 115. Totally fine, but I can see the slow drift upward. I had a lot of success with 4 meals of a rough mental estimate of 400-600 calories per meal. I am trying that again today for size.

[eschano]

Hi Sinnie, glad I can provide some food for thought.

As for dairy: usually if you choose organic dairy it should be fine. Try buying direct if possible.

However, I know that EU standards are a lot stricter on animal welfare, and most other things concerning food.

My dad grew up on a farm and we lived in a small village. For me it's all about symbiotic living. The farmer takes but also provides. And as long as that is done to the highest standards that works for me!

But yes: it is expensive.

[lpearlmom]

Hey Sinnie. Haven't heard from you for a bit & hoping everything is great with you and your family!

I'm guessing your back to work and VERY busy but just wanted to say "hey".

Linda

[clarinetgal]

Yes, I hope you're doing okay!

[Sinnie]

How lovely of you ladies to check up on me. Of course yesterday I started to respond, wrote a novel explaining where I’m at , and long story short it got deleted LOL. So here goes another try, albeit less wordy hopefully (probably not).

I’ve thought about updating here but feel it is in bad taste since I really don’t do No S at all anymore. Funny how I can love the concept so much, still check up on the boards regularly, but it just doesn’t work for me. I guess I have the utmost respect for those who stick it out because the discipline it takes to eat only 3 times a day is ENORMOUS (to me). My DH can’t fathom any other way, but that’s him, not me…I have decided to embrace my love of snacks (the horror!). I don’t like how it sounds. I wish to fancy myself this woman who is so in control, graceful and refined, eating slowly at meals with a glass of wine….ehhhh…..it just never happened.

Truth be told in broad daylight – I am a happy calorie counter. Does that sound like an oxymoron? No rhyme or reason why it’s working at this point in my life when it never did before. I have a sneaking suspicion my training on No S helped tons.

The other day I tried to do 3 meals again. Well if that didn’t set me off on a binge. I don’t know why the idea of restriction is so awful to me. It must carry some heavy baggage from a terrible dieting past. See, my version of counting calories is moderate (hey! No S!) and I don’t do it religiously nor every day. But my conscious effort at renewing my understanding of what a tbsp of peanut butter actually is for example, has slowly shaven off unnecessary calories that don’t add to my feeling of satisfaction. Those little extras I’d sneak in on No S because I duped myself into believing it didn’t count because the rules allowed it (MY fault NOT NoS’s). In any case, those Sunday night binges, that extra bite even though I was full, etc was just enough to settle my weigh and not make it budge. I thought it was just my happy weight but it turns out it was just the “little extrasâ€.

So, I shifted to eating when I felt like it. This kept me from overeating at a meal to make it until the next or avoiding the shaky feeling I would get often between meals even though I ate a proper amount. I just struggle like that and ALWAYS have. Clearly, it’s not a good plan for me. I don’t know why I forced it for so many years. I came to this realization on maternity leave when I had more time on my hands – I get immense joy out of a snack. Is it just a habit? Probably. But it truly provides me with such comfort. All those years at work, when I was so stressed, instead of finally cracking and binging – I could have just sat down with a coffee and pastry, enjoyed, breathed and rebooted. It’s my choice of enjoyment. I wish I got such satisfaction out of a sport, or talking with a loved one or…whatever…but I like my food, at the times I want it. So I figured out a plan to accommodate that. I’d say it was a combination of calorie counting with intuitive eating.

The result? I probably lost on average a pound a month, with no struggle or going hungry. I am at my lifelong goal weight: 111 lbs (I’m one pound away). Never, ever, did I once get here, even with extreme dieting in my teens. Some thoughts on this:

I believed once I got to this weight I would magically look so thin and svelte, as though suddenly I’d look like a model. I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about! This fantasy women have about their goal weight that’s not reality. Sure, I look fine, but it’s not drastic or miraculously made my clothes or hair any nicer. I’m a slightly smaller version of my self. I think in the past when I was 35 lbs heavier this weight seemed so far in the distance that if I ever got here I’d look like a celebrity {exaggerating but you get it}. All just perception. At a higher weight I tried much harder to conceal my weight through other means (I tanned, wore more makeup, etc). As an average woman, who is small, short and doesn’t work out, I just look, well, average. So my goal is going to have to change to something else – maybe start exercising for enjoyment or something. Maybe work on a more nutritious diet. I’ve let tons of processed junk and even homemade sweets into my daily diet.
Side note: I don’t want this to come across insensitive in any way. I just want other people to know that although being thin is nice, it actually doesn’t change anything and is not worth extreme measures. I think that’s why I heard that when people lose large amounts of weight, they don’t notice a huge difference and proceed to change something about themselves that’s more drastic like a totally different hair cut or colour.

I also learned how small the difference is between two weights that are relatively far apart. To maintain this weight I’m probably only eating about 50-100 calories less than before. Of course, to lose weight you often eat less, but I’m talking maintenance. It’s really amazing. Check out some online calculators (I find them fairly accurate). It goes to show how over time tiny amounts can and really do add up. I never believed this. Now I’m walking proof.

I guess I could go on and on but likely no one has read to the end and I certainly don’t blame you! Hope I wasn’t too forward with my approach and apologize if this offended anyone since it’s not NO S and has no place on this board.

I am really happy, really content, and if I ever manage to get back on three meals I’ll certainly post and let you know about it ☺

[lpearlmom]

Yay I'm so happy to read this post and really applaud you for figuring out what works for you!! Nothing inherently wrong with counting calories unless it makes you unhappy which it clearly doesn't!

I really hated watching you fighting your own nature and struggling so
Much to fit a square peg in a circle. Nos sounds so reasonable that I can see why you assumed it would work for you too, but everyone is so different that it's impossible for one way of eating to be right for everyone.

I also love your honesty about how reaching a certain weight feels good but not as life-changing as we sometimes fantasize it to be. I think it's important to remember that when we're on this journey. Life can still be good no matter what we weigh.

Anyway so great to hear from you & to know you're in such a great place. Also thank you for your encouraging post on my thread. It feels so nice to be understood.

Btw, how's the baby? Are you back to work or doing the sahm thing?

Linda

[aspencer27]

I agree with Linda, it's so great to hear that you've found what works for you. And, it isn't necessarily in contrast with NoS - there is no defined number of meals on the plan, most people default to 3.

My long-term goal is to get where you are at - eating when I am really hungry and only eating until I am just satisfied. It sounds like you are doing great!

I also really like your view on the different body weights - being skinnier isn't going to miraculously change all of our body image issues. Look at all of the models and dancers who still have body image issues! We definitely just need to be kinder to ourselves overall.

Glad to hear things are going so well for you, and you are always welcome to post here!

[clarinetgal]

I'm glad to hear you have found what works for you!

[eschano]

Sinnie, so glad to hear from you. I absolutely love your post! Nothing wrong with having your own system, in fact Reinhard encourages that. As long as it works for you! And you find that some long-term NoSers, like Mimi, are more intuitive eaters than anything now.

Your paragraphs about when you reach your "thin" goal resonated with me. I used to be a poster child of "When I'm thin then..." until my best friend took me aside one day and gave me a good session of tough love that made me see the fallacy. I finally went out and got what I wanted NOW instead of Then. It took a while to understand I am - as we all are - worth to go for what I want as I am rather than when I'm perfect And yes, I had a "celebrity" vision too!

I'd be delighted to hear from you on the boards when you feel like posting. NoS or not. You can call it the Sinnie System

[Sinnie]

Thank you for the positive comments everyone! This is why one can't leave these boards - the people are way too awesome.

I'm glad you could relate to my thoughts on being thin. I know its cliche, but worry about what matters most, and make being thin/diets a hobby - at least that's my approach. Perhaps it's a different story if one's health is affected negatively by weight, but for a lot of women, it's just a little chubby and mostly vanity anyways.

Anyways, Linda, to answer your question - baby is doing great!!! she is 8.5 months, crawling like she's on a mission, standing a lot (I'm afraid I will be dealing with a walker sooner than I thought), says "dada" (not so much "mama"), babbles, laughs - it's truly SO MUCH FUN. What I imagined having a child would be like - it's a thousand times better. I haven't been more happy in my entire life (hmmm...could that have something to do with my recent lack of weight struggles...). Well, I live in Canada so our maternity leave is one year. Being a high school teacher, I can also take off an extra semester only (given the time of year she was born) and keep my job in tact, without pay, so I plan to do that. I also will most likely initially only go back part time next Sept. There is still time to figure it out. My dream? Probably to stay home with my baby for sure. Reality? Go back to work at some point. Although DH makes a nice income, our lifestyle isn't that humble, which means an extra income is always welcome. Plus, DH's daughter is off to university next Fall (woohoo! ) and he was quite shocked at the costs when we attended the info session last night. Its stressful to say the least, but manageable. We have a lot to consider financially and since DH is older than me, he'll retire years before me so me working at that point will make sense too. In any case, my job was pretty good in terms of hours, pay and benefits. I just can't imagine going through fertility treatments again. OMG. So stressful. But my benefits covered a ton of the expenses. My dream would be to have one more baby and THEN stay home for a few years. But it's so scary and uncertain. Day by day right? For now, I'm just going to enjoy this truly perfect child God finally blessed me with. I tell myself that's why I had to wait and suffer. She is honestly beyond anything I could have expected. So easy, so content, so joyful and loving.

Another novel. Sorry about that. I've been getting up early this week to get stuff done before she wakes and it's turning into a wonderful routine. I feel so much calmer during the day. I even have a girls night this evening and DH is coming home early to watch baby so should be a lovely Friday. So nice to enjoy the Fall without the stress of teaching teenagers

[clarinetgal]

That's great, Sinnie! It sounds like you went through a lot to have her, so I'm glad it has worked out so well for you.

[eschano]

I like reading your "novels" so keep it up

[Sinnie]

Thanks, ladies

Weight is up to 113 lbs which is no surprise given my eating these days. Just can't seem to crack down and be more moderate. I'm not worried, but I like to nip these things in the bud right away. It's been a good couple weeks of care free eating and I'm ready to buckle down again.

Got up early this morning and cleaned a ton! Just enjoying my bagel and cream cheese before my little rugrat wakes up any minute

[lpearlmom]

Sinnie--

I love hearing how much you're enjoying your little one. It's so touching and almost makes me miss when my kids were that little. Almost but not quite. I'm enjoying this 9 & 11 yrs old stage quite a bit so you've got lots to look forward to as well.

A year of maternity leave is amazing--I definitely had my babies in the wrong country. I think you're smart to go back to work. If you can manage part-time for awhile, that'd be perfect.

I don't regret staying home but it can be hard sometimes. I think it'd be nice to get out of the house & contribute to the finances at times. Either choice is tough I guess.

Anyway, sounds like you're doing great. Nice to see you posting again!

Linda

[Sinnie]

Thanks, Linda! It's nice to be able to post regularly, sometimes or totally sporadically and still be welcomed so kindly!

I've decided, for the next little while at least, to eat 4 meals a day - which is kind of No S!!! Although the snacking wasn't affecting my weight, it was certainly affecting my hunger and choice of foods (too much processed stuff, and not enough healthy meals). Three meals a day is too long a gap between meals - doesn't work for me. I've never been successful at one plate nor no desserts so I am not following that. Basically a very loose version of No S using 4 meals a day. I still have structure which is good for me, but tailored in a way that makes me happy! I've done it for a few days which I promised myself I would do before posting. I'm loving it so far even though I wasn't perfect. It was enough of a trial run to give it a real go. By the way, I do calorie control the meals. Oh, and No "S days" - truthfully, the thought of S days makes me cringe... *shudder* I recognize I'm not normal but I hated S days - they put me in a bad mood which is the exact opposite of what they're supposed to do. Again, a big "MY FAULT" not No S's!!! Last thing, I'm absolutely not being perfectionistic about this - that's what gets me into trouble! So I'm not really doing a fail/success thing )) This even worked at a party I went to on the weekend - I just sorta grouped together 2 meals.
I will be posting my weight daily. It in no way affects my mood (yay!) but I like to see what foods/amounts/eating out etc does to my weight. Cool? Alright let's get started!

W: 111.5

Breakfast: black coffee, an orange, big slice homemade coconut cake and another coffee "latte" (cinnamon creamer and whole milk frothed).

Lunch: whole wheat wrap w egg & vegan cheese, pasta/potato/veg hearty soup, winter squash w walnut oil.

Dinner: homemade spaghetti o's, veggie chicken cutlet w/ vegan cheese and a pear (eaten earlier) -- really enjoyed this meal

Snack: few bites leftovers/kale, some avocado, Greek yogurt, coconut cake and vanilla coffee.

[aspencer27]

Glad you are adjusting your meals to make it work for you. I really like hearing other perspectives, especially when it comes to S Days - they drive me crazy, too!

[clarinetgal]

I am working on doing something very similar to you! I'm trying for 3 more moderate-sized meals (I think), plus a little treat, after my boys go to bed. I am counting calories, for now, although my goal is to figure out what foods to put on my plate, so that I can eat more intuitively, and not have to worry about counting calories. I'm not doing the success/fail thing either, unless I get really excessive with snacking or sweets. I'm not doing traditional S Days either, but I will allow S events, like my birthday or those in my immediate family, etc... I think my only actual S Days will be on my birthday, and on major holidays, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Your meals look great!

[Sinnie]

Thanks aspencer - glad you understand about S days too

Clarinetgal - sounds like you're doing great. Let me know how your plan continues to go.

W: 111.5

Breakfast: coffee, coconut cake, peanut butter/coconut/banana mixture (maybe a little TOO much - my tummy felt very heavy after)

[clarinetgal]

Sinnie, Thanks! I will do that.

[Sinnie]

I am not finding time to update much. The last few days were fine but I ate at night quite a bit. Need to work on that. Weight maintained at 111.5 surprisingly. This weekend we ate out which lead to a 2 lb increase and today (Sunday) was the most excessive of the bunch because I got up super early at 4am, just couldn't sleep, and ate a pre-breakfast breakfast, then we went out for lunch and I ate the whole pizza they served on my plate (thin crust and all, but still!). Now about to enjoy DH's creation tonight - seafood with black ink pasta!!!

Hope to update more next week!

[clarinetgal]

I'm trying to work on not eating so much at night, also. Your meals sound good!

[Sinnie]

Hey guys

I’m still here kicking around. Just thought I would pop in to do a little update. I am still counting calories and loving it. In recent times, I just felt like eating more so I upped my calorie budget to around 2500+. Calorie counting doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition where you get 1200 calories as a woman and God-forbid-you’ve-gone-over-might-as-well-binge. I don’t view it as a diet, restriction, a food=numbers concept, for me, is a tool for accountability, no more, no less. I am feeling the eagerness to “play the game†a little more intensely these days, so I’ve dropped back down to a range of 1600-1800. My weight in that time went up about 3 lbs – I am cool with that, no panic whatsoever, keeping track allows me to tailor it when I want/need to without issue.

I partly got re-inspired by these particular threads/users, some no longer current:
Connorcream
Pernetty
BrightAngel

I guess I’ve had my own thoughts on adding calorie counting to the mix but refrain from posting a lot because my composite approach may send others into territory they are not happy with. As many point out, that is the point of NoS. Just for those who may find this helpful, I’m giving my reflections on my private little check in. Although, this is more for me as I have these thoughts and I need to get them down in diary-form and out of my head.

To me, the point of a diet, system of eating, whatever you want to call it, was to lose weight. I was simply not achieving that nor peace of mind on Vanilla No S. In fact, I was grumpy, irritable, and hungry a lot and felt out of sorts. I blamed that on willpower – which I am sure has something to do with it. But I felt if I am struggling this much and binging a lot, AND my weight is not going down – something has got to give. This does not work for me. Doesn’t mean it’s not a great system, I love its simplicity. I love the idea behind it. Certainly works for my husband although he doesn’t follow the diet, just the way he eats 100% of the time (no S days though). How I see it, if a diet does not reach its intended purpose of making me lose weight, than it is not working. I know, I tried for 7 years. SEVEN YEARS! I don’t know why I couldn’t realize this sooner. It was almost a cult-like part of my brain saying I HAD to make it work, possibly because I engulfed so much of myself in it, pouring over the boards and having DH making it seem like the most natural way in the world. If your goal is peace with food, and No S achieved that for you, then you have met your goal. That was not my goal, it certainly didn’t achieve that for me, and I am finally where I want to be in both departments.

My current way of counting calories rather than just a ballpark in my head somewhere, is to use Reinhard’s idea of the daily punch cards (I think they are called? It is another everyday system of writing out tasks in to do list format on index cards). But instead I take my little index card, divide it into Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Snacks with a line to separate each section. I have small writing so it’s easy to fit. I write the date at the top, my weight and a total for the day. I am really, really loving this-it fits in my purse, takes me seconds to write down and keeps me accountable. For some reason I just cant get into the apps for recording. I find them tedious, time consuming and annoying. Not that I’ve actually given any a fair shot. But this works for me. I just really want to encourage anyone struggling, and especially those struggling for a long time who merely lurk the boards like I did, don’t give up and assume you are weak-willed; it might just not work for you either. I’m going against the grain here I know, but tweak, tweak and tweak some more until your personal right comes along. No shame in that. No one else is going to make it happen for you; I counted on DH for too long to help me out, get me to stop snacking etc – I am truly the happiest diet-wise I’ve ever been in my life. Just took me, oh, 15+ years to get here. The reason I am still here is I think there is a lot to be said about the concept of mealing. I do try and stick with that. But I get far less anxiety taking a snack when I need to, or having dessert, when I want to or need to instead of pre-determined days.

[clarinetgal]

Very interesting post! I've been going back and forth on calorie counting for years, and while I don't love it, it certainly gives me that extra accountability. Also, like you, I do try to stick to 3 meals a day, but if I want a snack or dessert, I do have one. I'm glad it's working for you!

[Amy C.]

I am glad this works for you as well. I have counted calories for years and grew tired of it. I know the slow rate I am losing is due to eating more than I need at a meal, but I don't want to go back to counting - yet.

[Sinnie]

CG and Amy - thanks for your encouragement. I can understand the lack of desire to count calories. I grew tired of it myself in years past. This time around has been different, and I suspect it has more to do with how I mentally view it now as opposed to then.

[milliem]

Hi Sinnie, really interesting points! I too had to switch to a calorie counting approach. Similarly I was never too restrictive - I had an general aim of between 1600 and 2000 calories depending how much exercise I was doing.

I love the simplicity and reasonableness of NoS, but I gravitate towards higher calorie foods when given the freedom to do so and wasn't good enough at being strict with my N days - and far too loose on S days. I definitely did notice that the months I had better compliance with NoS I lost more weight, so perhaps NoS with a bit more more focus and control would have worked for me eventually. The principles are easy and simple, but the practice can be just as hard as any other diet!

I have found NoS good as a general approach to eating though, with more focus on maintenance. If I lose some more this time round I'll be pleased but really I just don't want to regain any weight!

[Strawberry Roan]

Really interesting posts. I don't count calories as far as saying I will have 1200 today and no more, etc. but I do look at the calorie count on every item I eat (if available). I am shocked to see the total calories in some items considered healthy. The suggested servings are laughable in many cases as well.

I don't do No S the way it was originally intended, either. I never liked the concept of being good for five days, treating my body well - then going off that mindset for two days. I know that Reinhard never endorsed that concept himself but many people have posted that they literally would stay up until midnight on Friday night so they could start their S day eating.

I just try to treat my body well in as many ways that I can.

What No S has taught me is how much snacking is done mindlessly. Whether it is "healthy" snacking like pretzels, cubes of cheese, pieces of fruit, etc. or candy bars and ice cream cones - it is still mindless snacking.
One doesn't realize how much of this they do until they consciously stop doing it.

[Amy C.]

but many people have posted that they literally would stay up until midnight on Friday night so they could start their S day eating.

I just try to treat my body well in as many ways that I can.

To stay up on Friday night to start eating never occurred to me. I know my weight loss is slowed with the amount I eat on a weekend. I recognize that this has to stop. The S days mean moderation - a sweet or two, perhaps a snack, but not much.

[Strawberry Roan]

but many people have posted that they literally would stay up until midnight on Friday night so they could start their S day eating.

I just try to treat my body well in as many ways that I can.

To stay up on Friday night to start eating never occurred to me. I know my weight loss is slowed with the amount I eat on a weekend. I recognize that this has to stop. The S days mean moderation - a sweet or two, perhaps a snack, but not much.

Exactly, and many people do treat S days with just slight moderation. But, I have seen many, many posts where people have said, I SO overindulge on the weekends that I look forward to Mondays. I think that is because we want to be in control and out of control eating is just the opposite of that. I am just as likely to eat a piece of pie or a homemade muffin on a Wednesday as I am on a Sunday if they presented themselves to me in a certain setting or something. I am just striving for balance, mindless snacking is the one area I need to work on, at home and at work. Large selections of desserts have always been just for "special" occasions in my life.

[Sinnie]

Hey guys! Just finally getting an opportunity to reply to these posts.

I'm very much in agreement with the idea that mindless snacking is best avoided while more and more not being on board with S days, every weekend. Reason being, unless you are the type of person who can coolly continue with reasonable meals, and have a small dessert at a cafe on Sunday, you are going to get caught in a bad cycle. I didn't feel this way for years, but forcing vanilla just made me binge on weekends and grit my teeth mon - fri. That's no way to live. Clearly, many people are built for this: Reinhard and all those successful on the board. But for those who constantly struggle, your body and mind are giving you a message. S days sometimes? For sure. In my opinion, you'd be much better off just having a treat/snack at an occasion that wouldn't be deemed "S worthy" or taking a red day, than relying on willpower to get you through and plowing head first into piles of sweets Saturday morning.

I've been trying to get a better routine going these days as meals have really gone to the wayside and I think therefore nutrition has too, to some extent.

[clarinetgal]

I agree with you. I am 100 percent on board with no mindless snacking and no seconds, but I'm not so sure about S Days for myself, either. I know from past experience that if I go 5 days a week without sweets, and allow myself total freedom on the weekends, I will binge on sweets. However, I think mindfulness with eating is important, so I definitely consider myself a No Ser, just not a Vanilla one. Anyway, that is my long way of saying I understand where you're coming from.

[r.jean]

Although I stick to Vanilla No S most of the time, I do agree that keeping sweets under control is hard once you start. It is hard to eat just one thing. I do a mod on vacations that is similar to what you are suggesting. I do not use S days, but I allow one S event a day, usually a dessert.

[Sinnie]

Thanks for the comments! I think we all need to find what works for us, and tailor any plan or way of eating to ourselves. Every single person's life, even those who seem to live similarly, will have drastically different home situations, food preferences, families, energy levels, metabolisms and so on - so we can't look to anyone else to tell us how to eat. I believe in experimenting until something works beautifully and makes you happy. I guess that's been my experience and I'm very happy for it.

In the spirit of No S, I read this and thought it was a cool read reinforcing much of what i believe:

http://migrationology.com/2012/06/how-t ... stay-slim/