Dalia negra

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Octavia
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Post by Octavia » Tue May 08, 2018 12:51 pm

Great to hear that things are going well, Dalia!

I really relate to a lot of what you say. We need so much patience on No S, but on the other hand, No S is permanent, and is working its magic on our lives even when we’re not losing weight. Even though my weight loss is very slow, I don’t feel tempted to leave. I feel supported and kept safe by my N day routine. I think if I came off it, I’d be all over the place, in total confusion!

Hope your day goes well. X

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Post by Dalia negra » Tue May 08, 2018 4:37 pm

Today I have something important to tell.

This morning I was absolutely depressed by the weight (I had to take anti-inflammatories for a backache and my weight has gone up a bit). I know I have not been rational at all, since this is due to the weight of the water, but I could not help it, I felt depressed and tired. I've been thinking all day about ways to lose weight faster, and changes I could make in my diet and such, and since the first morning I wanted to eat something sweet because of frustration. I did not want to do it during the day, since then I would have felt heavy and bloated, and I wanted to be in shape to face the day, so I gave myself permission to buy a big pot of Haagen Dazs (it's one of my comfort foods) and eat it this afternoon, when my husband and my daughter had gone to their English classes. It was not because I did not want anyone to see me, but because I wanted to enjoy it alone, calm and savoring it. He had decided to have a day nws and an arranged business. But my daughter and my husband just left a while ago and I have not gone for ice cream. Tonight I have promised to make them one of my dishes (they love to see that I fill my plates with a lot of variety of things) and I thought that I just wanted to have dinner with them, with my plate, and not stuff me. I've put on comfortable clothes, I've had sparkling water and a slice of lemon and now I'm taking it easy and writing this. I feel great and I do not want to change that. I am starting to love and respect myself, and that is much more valuable than the weight that weighs the scale, that is gold for me.

No S is teaching me many things, it is a journey of self-discovery. Today I have been able to deal with situations that in the past would have altered me a lot. am having a lot of confidence in myself, and the opinion of others is beginning to not affect me (negative criticism, I mean). And I feel at peace, too.

It is absolutely wonderful.
Last edited by Dalia negra on Tue May 08, 2018 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Dalia negra » Tue May 08, 2018 4:44 pm

Octavia wrote:Great to hear that things are going well, Dalia!

I really relate to a lot of what you say. We need so much patience on No S, but on the other hand, No S is permanent, and is working its magic on our lives even when we’re not losing weight. Even though my weight loss is very slow, I don’t feel tempted to leave. I feel supported and kept safe by my N day routine. I think if I came off it, I’d be all over the place, in total confusion!

Hope your day goes well. X

Absolutely true. Today I've been closer than ever to leaving and throwing everything away, and I have not. Because I value so much the good that it is giving me, it is almost more important than losing weight (almost no, IT IS MORE IMPORTANT ) :lol:

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Post by Tombo » Tue May 08, 2018 7:04 pm

It's great that you didn't go for the tub of ice cream. For me it used to be the same but with Ben & Jerry's

I have been feeling a bit crappy recently so I've also been craving comfort eating but I've refrained from it thus far

I'm glad to hear that No S is having a positive effect on you :D

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Post by ladybird30 » Wed May 09, 2018 3:27 am

You have done well Dalia.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 09, 2018 9:24 am

Thank you very much Tombo and Ladybird30 !!

Although I must say that yesterday it was finally red. I ate dinner on my plate, but then I had an ice cream cone. It was much more small than the Haagen Dazs boat, yes :lol:

I'm thinking about making a modification in my meals. My plates are 10 inches, and the next ones I have are 8 inches, so I'm thinking of using the 8's instead of the 10's.

What is your opinion? I do not go hungry between meals, nor during the whole day. And maybe that's what is keeping me stuck in the weight.

On the other hand, I think that if I make this modification now, in the future I will not have much more to do to boost my weight loss again ...

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Post by Soprano » Wed May 09, 2018 11:53 am

Reducing plate size for one or two meals may work. I am always hungry before I eat.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 09, 2018 2:11 pm

Hello Soprano!

Thanks for your opinion.

I tried it, but it ended up in a binge :(
I started with the small plate in the food, but an hour later I was already overwhelmed thinking about going back to dinner like this, and ... wham! I have eaten a coffee flan, a Greek yogurt with chocolate and a Nutella sandwich. I am embarrassed to put it here, but this is the diary of my trip, and I want to be absolutely honest when, after a few years, I look back.

So I wipe and new account. Tomorrow for a green, and I will try my challenge not to weigh myself until June 1st.

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Post by Tombo » Wed May 09, 2018 2:17 pm

Don't be embarassed, a lot of us here have gone through binge eating/overeating issues, it is why we are here! Dust yourself off and get back up again, which it sounds like is what are you doing anyway :)

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 09, 2018 2:20 pm

Thanks Tombo!

I try at least! :D

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Post by ladybird30 » Thu May 10, 2018 12:16 am

Hi Dalia,

may I suggest that you keep on working on habits of moderation, rather than restricting which as you have found can derail eating habits. You are still in early days yet - it took me many months before binge thoughts starting receding into the background of my brain. Even after a year without a binge, I still don't see myself as being able to do without habits of moderate eating or checking in here.

Please don't be discouraged by the thought that it takes time. Weight loss will come, and it will be permanent if you make permanent changes to your habits.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Post by Dalia negra » Thu May 10, 2018 4:36 am

Ladybird30, you're absolutely right. I'm wanting to go too fast, when what I have to do is enjoy this trip. I feel very good with vanilla S, and I have to let the weight issue be secondary. From today I intend to count only days of habit, my next goal is to be part of the 21 day club, so let's go for it!

Thanks for your sensible words.

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri May 11, 2018 4:57 am

Another red yesterday.
Definitely, having a red on a week's day destabilizes me and makes everything go to ruin.

On the other hand, yesterday I tried not to weigh myself, and the anguish of not knowing if I was getting fat (irrational, I know) made me have a bad day.
Also the alternative of cutting food or counting calories depresses me a lot and makes me feel anguished and in a bad mood, so I'm going to continue with vanilla No S, and we'll see what happens with my weight. It's all I'm willing to do and it's infinitely better than gaining weight and feeling heavy from overeating.

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Post by Dalia negra » Tue May 15, 2018 5:11 am

Last week was a big bump for me.
Luckily, this week has started well, yesterday I had a green day No S and a green day without weighing me !!!
And I feel much better.


Taking steps towards where I want to go.

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Post by Merrygoround » Tue May 15, 2018 6:17 pm

Well done on the great start to a new week :D
Merry

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Post by Crystal » Wed May 16, 2018 2:20 am

That’s wonderful news, Dalia! Both the not weighing and the successful N Day! Congratulations! Hope the rest of your week goes beautifully as well! 🌺
43 years old. 5’6â€. Long time vegetarian.
Vanilla No S.
Starting Weight: 269 (17 July 2017)
Current Weight: 228 (14 August 2018)
41 pounds lost so far
Goal Weight: Wherever my weight eventually settles on No S.

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 16, 2018 5:21 am

Thanks Merry and Crystal!

Yesterday I had a really bad day. I looked physically horrible, and my thoughts were absolutely depressive.
What is happening to me is that summer is coming, and it's time to put on the swimsuit. I am able to do it and go to the pool every day for my daughter, but I would prefer to stay at home and not expose myself that way.
There are many years of dieting and controlling my weight, and I find it hard to change that ... while I lose weight with No S, even slowly, I'm fine. The problem is when I enter a plateau, then I get depressed. I would like to get to be at the lowest weight I've been for years, and from there, everything I got off would be great. I spend the day fighting between the thought that this will not work and I need to make a diet NOW, or the thought that if I do a diet, next year I will probably be at the same weight and I will have the same fight.
On the other hand, I am unable to do a diet anymore, so No S is my only option. And for the record, I love it, it's just my head that ruins everything ...

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Post by Crystal » Wed May 16, 2018 6:45 am

Sorry to hear you had a bad day, Dalia! ♥ï¸

About the swimsuit issue-i feel your pain. Living in the tropics, where there’s swimming all year round, and having a daughter who needs water therapy, I had to solve this problem for myself or I’d feel uncomfortable all the time, so self conscious. Before I go on, though, I must say, I believe that every person of every size has the right to go out in whatever swimsuit they please. If people don’t like looking at fat bodies at the pool or beach, they need to get a life. Seriously. But for me, I am just a really modest person. Even if I was thin, I’d feel uncomfortable in a swimsuit. Bikinis look like underwear to me, haha. And I even felt self conscious in a one piece with a little skirt. Way too much skin showing (on me-I repeat: I don’t care what others wear). I discovered this whole thing called modest swimwear that changed my life. I now own a swim skirt that goes to my knees and a full coverage top that covers everything. I feel so free!! I swim, walk around, whatever. Admittedly, it’s very common here to see people wear modest swimwear. Not just the Muslims, either. Just about everyone wears it. It’s quite refreshing to an old-fashioned prude like myself. 😂 I got mine from a US online company called Hydrochic that ships internationally. Not cheap, but life changing. I feel like a completely different person around water now. When I was a little kid, I would rarely swim because I didn’t want to wear a swimsuit. It didn’t get better with age, haha! Let me know if you want to see a photo of my swimsuit-I’ll private message you on Facebook. Or just Google Hydrochic.
43 years old. 5’6â€. Long time vegetarian.
Vanilla No S.
Starting Weight: 269 (17 July 2017)
Current Weight: 228 (14 August 2018)
41 pounds lost so far
Goal Weight: Wherever my weight eventually settles on No S.

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 16, 2018 8:05 am

Crystal: I just bought a tankini!



Image


I looked at the swimsuits you told me ... I feel the same about putting on a swimsuit, I would cover myself up to my feet ... but here in Spain that would be very strange and they would look at me more!! :lol: :lol: But I think I could go with this tankini and find myself comfortable, my main complex is my belly, and this conceals it a lot.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. Now I will not care so much if I lose the weight slowly :)

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Post by Crystal » Wed May 16, 2018 8:49 am

That’s a beautiful swimsuit!! I agree that in some countries, you would get stared at more for being covered up. I’m pretty sure that would be the case for me if I still lived in the US. One of the benefits of living in a conservative country like Singapore. 😂

Love the swimsuit! Hope you love it too and feel great while wearing it! Don’t worry about what people think. Truly. Hugs.
43 years old. 5’6â€. Long time vegetarian.
Vanilla No S.
Starting Weight: 269 (17 July 2017)
Current Weight: 228 (14 August 2018)
41 pounds lost so far
Goal Weight: Wherever my weight eventually settles on No S.

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Wed May 16, 2018 9:56 am

Believe me in that aspect I would be happy to live in Singapore :lol:

If you want to send me the picture of your swimsuit by private, I would love to see it anyway!

Mine will arrive approximately in 25 days (maybe before, this is the maximum delivery time), I'll tell you how I'm doing.

Another hug for you, you have helped me a lot! :wink: :)

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Post by Dalia negra » Thu May 17, 2018 5:12 am

Yesterday I felt much better during the whole day, I think I have overcome the hole.
It helped a lot to buy me that swimsuit and feel that I can go comfortable to the pool, that was a big handicap for me and it was influencing me a lot, even if I was not totally conscious.

On the other hand, not weighing me is taking away a lot of tension and is getting me to focus only on my dishes and follow vanilla No S without pressure of any kind. It is very liberating and may have found the final solution for me in that regard :D

Ah! And definitely the habit is very important, once you do something several times it is not so difficult :wink: And the good thing is that this can be applicable to all areas of life :D

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Post by Crystal » Thu May 17, 2018 8:50 am

So glad you are making so much progress, Dalia! I’m happy it’s getting easier for you as well. It takes awhile to lose the diet mentality. But it’s so amazing when it happens!
43 years old. 5’6â€. Long time vegetarian.
Vanilla No S.
Starting Weight: 269 (17 July 2017)
Current Weight: 228 (14 August 2018)
41 pounds lost so far
Goal Weight: Wherever my weight eventually settles on No S.

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Post by Soprano » Thu May 17, 2018 5:52 pm

Well done Dalia bet you look great in your swimsuit

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Post by Merrygoround » Thu May 17, 2018 6:18 pm

What a lovely swimsuit. I want one! My trouble is also my tummy. I have been left with a lot of lose skin there. I wear bike shorts under a skirt to hold it all in, and also under my Aikido gi. With jeans I just tuck it in the top. (Sorry if this is too much info!)

Anyway, I want one for my big trip. Who know what we will be doing and swimsuits had been a worry. This looks perfect. Thank you for sharing.
Merry

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri May 18, 2018 5:05 am

Many thanks to all three!

Mery, I bought it at Rose wholesale, in case it helps. There are many beautiful models! And do not worry about the information. We all have problems of that kind and it is good to know that we are not alone :wink:

Crystal, very true ... I thought that my diet mentality was not so ingrained, and it turns out that it has controlled a large part of my life. It's amazing ... luckily, it starts to disappear little by little ... :)

Today I have not weighed myself either, although I am very tempted, everything has to be said, but I am willing to continue like this.

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Post by Octavia » Fri May 18, 2018 7:46 am

Sounds like you are doing great, Dalia. Sorry to hear you had a tough day earlier this week.

I too feel low when I’m on a plateau. Sometimes weight does not shift for weeks on end. But at those times you have to keep on believing (sounds like a religion!) and forget about the scales. It does work, just slowly! I took loads of encouragement from Imogen’s posts. She said she lost a tenth of her body weight from doing Vanilla, even though she still ate lots at the weekend. I found that really encouraging, it made me feel I wasn’t doing it wrong or anything....it just takes time. And in the meantime, there are so many amazing benefits to enjoy. The freedom, the quietness in your head, the good appetite and enjoyable, normal meals.

Stunning swimsuit btw. I’ve been looking at Bravissimo costumes lately! Might indulge!

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri May 18, 2018 10:12 am

Octavia wrote:Sounds like you are doing great, Dalia. Sorry to hear you had a tough day earlier this week.

I too feel low when I’m on a plateau. Sometimes weight does not shift for weeks on end. But at those times you have to keep on believing (sounds like a religion!) and forget about the scales. It does work, just slowly! I took loads of encouragement from Imogen’s posts. She said she lost a tenth of her body weight from doing Vanilla, even though she still ate lots at the weekend. I found that really encouraging, it made me feel I wasn’t doing it wrong or anything....it just takes time. And in the meantime, there are so many amazing benefits to enjoy. The freedom, the quietness in your head, the good appetite and enjoyable, normal meals.

Stunning swimsuit btw. I’ve been looking at Bravissimo costumes lately! Might indulge!
Thanks for the encouragement, Octavia. I will read the Imogen thread. I usually read and reread Joasia's thread, it's amazing how she manages to lose weight over the years, and if you look, there are even pictures of her progress. For me it is a great source of inspiration, I love that thread!
You are right in believing in this (we could create this new religion, now that I think about it :lol: ) is the way to continue, to have faith in it and patience. Since I do not weigh myself, I feel much better in that sense, I only fulfill my habit and enjoy my meals without pressure.


Have a wonderful weekend, I think I enjoy my days S
:wink:


PS: If you buy a new swimsuit, please, show it to us !! :)

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri Jun 01, 2018 8:15 am

Hello girls! After a disastrous month, here I return.

I have noticed many things and I do not know where to start ...

First of all, this is not about weight loss or not, I've been having a very wrong idea about the whole thing. I know that Reinhard devised it to help him lose his kilos, but I also know that all this is about bad habits, and although I have been using these two words often, I have not understood their real meaning until now.

I have always eaten a lot. My problem is that I do not know when to stop. When I was a girl, I would have dinner at my corresponding time, and when my father came home from work later, I would go back to dinner with him. I would sit at the table next to him and he would give me gherkins, a mess of bread around here, a bite of his dinner over there. I mean, I NEVER had enough. And I continue like this. These days that I have not appeared around here I have returned to binge eating, and I have observed that I do not know WHEN to stop eating. I can continue to eat without hunger, and without even craving it, just because I do not know when I have enough food. I never have enough. I would go on and on. So I'm starting to realize that as long as I do not change that, there will be no program for my weight loss method to help me. And for that is NO S, to put the famous billboards.

First, I have to start marking the limits of where my food starts and ends (a dish), second, not allowing me to eat between meals (no snacks) and third, limit sweets at the weekend. Obviously not? I'm describing Reinhard's method. Yes. But I am also describing what will work for me. And it is that I took this as an equation: If as three courses, not peck and not like sweets during the week = x kilos lost. And no, it's not. It's about changing habits for many years, and that takes time. If I want to be someday at an acceptable weight, I have to start to change my way of eating. But really, and do not take it as a passing fad. I do not know if I'm explaining myself well...

In short, first, I will not vanilla S for a long season (long means long) and then, when fully accustomed, I will make the relevant changes to lose weight or eat healthier.

And the obsession with weight has to go outside. I will not lose weight in three months, or in a year. There were many more that took me here. Maybe summer is coming a little better, but this is what I'll have to spend.



And now we go with the May count, here nobody has fallen off the car.

Green days: 10
Red Days: 13
Yellow days: 8

Weight: +1,600

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Post by Soprano » Fri Jun 01, 2018 8:20 pm

I wondered where you had been!

You are learning alot about yourself that is an important part of making this permanent.

Well done

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Post by ladybird30 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:19 am

Hi Dalia, good to see you back. My personal opinion is that once you establish the habits and stop bingeing, you will very likely lose weight. But, as you say, establish the habits first and make adjustments later if necessary.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Post by Octavia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:17 pm

ladybird30 wrote:Hi Dalia, good to see you back. My personal opinion is that once you establish the habits and stop bingeing, you will very likely lose weight. But, as you say, establish the habits first and make adjustments later if necessary.
Totally agree with what Ladybird says. i think adjustments/modifications must wait - and if you wait long enough, you may never need them. You’ll lose weight anyway!

One of the brilliant things about No S is that it works on all the major reasons we gain weight. For me, that was snacking and sweets, but for many of us, it’s portions - quantities per meal. The one-plate rule addresses that. I don’t think it has to be a particularly small plate - just a dinner plate, not piled too high, and without the extra gherkins and bread on the side! (He sounds like a lovely dad🙂. Mine used to bring me chocolate eggs from a sweet shop on a regular basis! It’s no wonder I ended up with a chocolate fixation!)

Hope your weekend goes well, Dalia. Take care, Octo x

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Post by Octavia » Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:19 pm

Hey Dalia, just wanted to add, thanks for mentioning Joasia’s thread- it is really inspirational.

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:36 pm

Hi Dalia, I love your insights. I’m glad you are being patient with yourself. It resonates with my personal experience. The first year of NoS, I worked on establishing habits and really only lost a few pounds. Going from a constant grazer to three meals a day was a big deal for me though and it healed my relationship with food as well as being a big boost to my confidence.

After that first year, I’ve continued to tweak things and am down almost 55lbs. It’s been slow and my body does not like to give up weight easily at this age (50) but I was able to do it in a sustainable and pleasant way.

Anyway, you have the right attitude. Best of luck!

Linda
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Post by Dalia negra » Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:44 am

Thank you very much girls!

The truth is that I'm still bad and I continue to binge ...

I do not know what to do to control my problem with food and I feel absolutely desperate. I think I will continue with No S while my head is still trying to find the solution ...

I did not want to complain or give a negative message, but someone very kindly asked me how I feel, and I thought it was wrong not to respond and not be honest about it. And I also wanted to respond to people who have taken the trouble to come to my thread.

Octavia, Joasia is wonderful, right? I really love her... :)

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Post by TexArk » Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:51 pm

Just wanted to stop in to say that I think you are approaching this correctly. Work on the habits. I identify with you about never feeling done after a meal. Even from childhood I could always eat a second plateful after each meal whether I did it or not. It must take a long time for the "message" to get to my brain that I have had enough. I never got a "full" signal. So the No Seconds rule is the boundary I had to learn. What helped and I still do this is to have a routine that means the meal is over and the kitchen is closed. I am maintaining now and here is what I do:

I end breakfast with a couple of prunes after I clean up and then brush teeth. After noon meal I clean up and then have a cup of tea with a little honey and then brush teeth. At evening meal I clean up, have a cup of decaf coffee black with very little bit of 85% dark chocolate and then brush and floss. Technically this is having a little sweet and eating outside of the plate but not by much.

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Post by Dalia negra » Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:35 am

Thank you very much TexArk, it is quite an honor that a veteran like you come to write to my thread, and that you think that I am on the right track flatters me. I take your advice.

Yesterday was a green day and I made better decisions about what I ate. I feel more relaxed about this whole thing and I plan to continue with No S to see where it takes me.

Thank you everybody for all the cheer up!

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Post by Dalia negra » Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:06 am

Green day yesterday, although before yesterday it was red. But I do not feel guilty, I've had a bad streak in which binge-eating has returned to control. In fact, I was aware that this could happen again, I read many recovery stories in which people have relapses, then, I was not going to be the exception.

I am happy to be able to get out of there already, I have reached a pact with myself, and that is that I am going to settle for not gaining weight and maintaining my weight. And if I lose additional weight, I will be happy. But if I do not lose it too. And I will try not to weigh myself. I will not get it every day, but if I mark some in green, it will be fine. I think that not pushing me in the weight sense will go very well, although I also know that there will be complicated days when I will want to diet and lose weight very fast. But I know that this is just my upset trying to destabilize me and get me to throw everything down. I will try to remember it.

At the moment, I continue to strengthen habits.

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:02 am

Hello everyone!!

Despite starting this over and over again (or continuing on it but starting with diets followed by bingeing and marking red) I can not say that No S has been an absolute failure for me. Since I started in February I have lost 4.4 lbs, so in terms of weight loss it is working, although my head (accustomed to rapid weight loss) will insist that I do not.
At the mental level it is also working although I often feel like a failure. The days when I start a diet and end up giving me a binge I keep marking them as red, and I can say that despite this I'm still in the plan. I go back to him again and again because in the end I realize that following a diet does not take me anywhere, just to get more weight. So it can be said that despite my ups and downs, this is helping me a lot, only that I need more time to fully secure it.

This weekend has been wild, since it came to binge me and these have returned to take control. It bothers me to have done this, I feel that I do not advance like this, so I am willing to add another mod, which will be eating the sweets of the weekend inside the dish, so I will avoid grazing and eating too much. I have also considered doing it in NWS and marking it as green. The day after tomorrow is my daughter's birthday and I'm going to make her a homemade cake. She wants us all to eat (she turns eight) so I will not be the only one who does not. I'll include my slice of cake inside my food plate and mark it as a green. This will make me not feel that I go around with the plan, it will make me feel that I am doing it well.

On the other hand, I want to tell an anecdote. I have a friend who is doing Weight Watchers for years. Tell your points religiously every day and eat a little. As it turns out, it has been gaining weight for a year now. And it is not explained why. He has gone to the doctor and his analytics are fine, the thyroid is perfect. And they do not explain why he keeps gaining weight (44 lbs). She was prescribed metformin a while ago and now she has gone back because she is desperate.

Well, the doctor told him to continue with metformin and that he has to eat less (she already eats little). He has given him a diet in which he has to weigh everything (30 g of rice, 20 g of pepper, 30 g of tomato ...) and that is absolutely ridiculous. And he has told her that if she does not lose 22 lbs after a year she will see what they do with her again. And I think: "so much sacrifice to lose 22 pounds in a year, because for that I'm left with No S, I can lose maybe the same weight or half during the same period of time". And I also see what you can do to follow a strict diet for so long: nothing.
So I have reflected and I will continue with this. Probably in a while I will come to say that "I have fallen out of the car" and that I have started another diet, but for now I have proposed the goal of belonging to the 21 day club and I am going for it.

Thanks to all who read me and give me advice, this is a great forum and I love it.

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Post by sharon227 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:32 am

My doctor - the one who suggested I try No S - said something that was very helpful for me. Making healthy eating choices is a kindness to yourself.

It's not "deprivation." It's being good to yourself.

Hard to remember sometimes when I look at the tempting cake/cookies/whatever. But I'm trying very hard also to pay attention to how I feel after eating things. If I'm honest, my doctor is right.

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Post by Dalia negra » Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:56 am

Hi Sharon227!!!! Thanks for going through my thread.

Your doctor is right, it's great advice. Just yesterday I was thinking about that, giving me binge is a massive attack on my body, and I think the poor guy is enduring a lot, I've been doing it for years. Today I have proposed to give my body the nutrition it needs and eat in normal quantities, even if it does not follow the strict rules of No S. I think that starting to become aware of the damage I am doing to you is a first step.

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Post by sharon227 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:00 am

My eating went out of control after my mother died. It was that powerful feeling of I WANT THIS AND I WANT THIS NOW AND NO ONE IS GOING TO TELL ME I CAN'T HAVE IT. At that point, it became difficult to be rational and tell myself "Eating a bunch of junk isn't going to solve this. My mother will still be gone but now I'll also weigh too much."

I see now that if I use food in little ways to respond to being bored, tired, or stressed, it leads to using it in big ways to deal with bigger problems.

I think it will be easier to simply train myself that I don't eat between meals, I don't eat more than one plate of food, and that's that. Food simply is not a way to respond to anything besides It's time to eat and I eat one plate of food. At that point, I may also be able to remind myself that I feel horrible after stuffing myself with crap.

Good luck!!!

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri Jun 22, 2018 5:11 am

Hello everyone!!

Sharon227, thanks for your last comment (I did not answer you, and I'm sorry).

Here I am again, ready to start again. You can see that I have had a bad time in terms of food (diet, binge eating, diet, binge eating, days of bingeing ...) I think nothing you do not know ...

So I've decided to start (or continue) with No S. We already know that you need to start a few times to get to the final.
Looking back, I went a lot and got a lot of good things with it. It has been the most clarifying program and that has taught me the most about myself. While the other diets have always focused on the physical and superficial, No S has helped me a lot mentally and has done a great psychological job with me (although I have not yet managed to change everything) and I value that a lot. I need again that peace he gave me.

So I start again!

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Post by Soprano » Fri Jun 22, 2018 5:20 am

Good luck I know you can do this. Try not to think of it as going back, it has to be a lifestyle change which you had already committed to. Some people find it easy, others have stuff they have to learn and sort out along the way.

You are learning so much :)

Do you use the habitcal? I found that really helped me in the beginning. I don't need it now but it was a great tool.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri Jun 22, 2018 5:24 am

Hello Soprano!

Yes, I use the Habitcal, it helps me a lot (especially when I frame green a few days, it's a great stimulus).

And yes, I agree, I do not have to think about going back, but about continuing, being in it for a long time gives me a great feeling of being able.

Thank you!!!!!

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Post by Octavia » Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:13 pm

Hi Dalia,
Sorry I haven’t checked in with you for a while! Hope your weekend is going well. Sounds like you’ve had a few challenges, but are sticking with No S, so that’s brilliant! I like what Soprano said - some of us have stuff we have to sort out and learn along the way. That’s definitely been true for me. All I do on No S is try to stay ‘technically’ Green, even though my old habits drive me to overeat on weekends and sometimes eat quite unhealthily on N days. I’m definitely not perfect, but I think it’s a long-term process, and as long as I’m on No S, I’m going in the right direction! Try to be really kind to yourself and get the most enjoyment out of No S that you can! Have a good weekend. X

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Post by Dalia negra » Sat Jun 30, 2018 9:05 am

Hello everyone!

Octavia, thank you for your support and your advice, you are very right.

I come to say that my crisis has already passed. And I think it starts a second stage in No S.
My big problem was to start having to face my body in a swimsuit, I was not ready for it. But I have already gone to the pool three times and I have noticed that people are too busy in their affairs to notice me! On the other hand, I no longer feel ashamed of my body. Before I thought: "Yes, I'm wrong, but I'm working on it": Now I accept my weight and my appearance, because honestly, I do not know if my weight will change or how long it will take, so I will not wait to have a weight that consider acceptable to start loving me.
So one of the failures I had when starting No S was to focus too much on weight loss instead of on my well-being. I was still in the diet mode, and I wanted to lose weight as quickly as possible (even knowing that No S is slow). I became obsessed with the scale and each setback was a disappointment to me. Now, based on the fact that I accept myself as I am, I do not care about the scale. As long as I stay and do not get fat, it will be perfectly fine.

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Post by Dalia negra » Fri Jul 06, 2018 11:49 am

Hello girls!!

I think I finally understood how it works No S. When we get fat, we accumulate kilos (or lbs) over the months without knowing how and without even noticing. The only thing we know is that we have to diet urgently. Well, this is the same thing, but in reverse. You are losing kilos little by little, without hardly perceiving yourself. Until you reach a healthy weight.

When we get fat, sometimes it's a kilo (or pound), weeks go by and we take another, there are seasons in which we keep the weight ... until suddenly you go back up ... because No S does the same, but in reverse ... We are reducing calories without realizing it, and the weight goes down slowly, without great bragging, but the trend is downward.

And this thought is very powerful for me. It is getting me to take the reins again and have green days.
So I am very happy and relaxed, and I think I'll be able to follow No S during a good season.

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Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 25, 2018 9:25 am

Great analysis, Dalia! No S is like our normal, weight-gaining lives, but in reverse!

Hope all is still going well for you.

Octo x

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Post by eschano » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:43 pm

Yes love that!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

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Post by Octavia » Mon Sep 10, 2018 10:56 pm

Missing you, Dalia! Hope all’s well.

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:46 am

Hello girls!

How long without coming here ...

And what have I been doing? Well, diet. Yes, diet.
And what has it had as a consequence? Well get into a wild binge spiral. Very very wild.

I explain.

I was doing No S for three months. It went very well, but I was focused on the loss of weight and because of that I "failed" and abandoned it. Afterwards, I spent some time bingeing and eating badly, without structure or too much. Summer came (and that tankini I bought was not anything like what I ordered) and spent the pool time with my daughter more or less as I could. And then, September came and I went right into a diet until a fortnight ago. At first I was very good; It's a diet that I like a lot and that is lost very quickly (11.9 pounds the first month) but ... it's a diet. And very rigid, too. For explaining something, breakfast consists of eating a large amount of fatty cheese, 70 grams. of bread and an egg or sausage. EVERYDAY. Imagine I, who am a person to vary a lot of food, I love to try all kinds of combinations of flavors and love exotic food for the novelty that I suppose ... well, that diet followed. And the best, totally convinced that it was my lifelong food plan, because I worked my mind unconsciously to believe it. (Up to that point I can get there!) And everything was fine. Until fifteen days ago I felt a very strong compulsion, as I had not felt for a long time (because No S helped me a lot in that sense, helped me with the subject of bingeing) and I shot myself again. I lost control until today and my days have been a mess of food. I have eaten a lot, badly, at odd moments ... my stomach has hurt, I have slept fatally, etc ... Until today, I have decided to start over with No S.

I also want to explain that when I was with the diet I looked back on all this time I was in No S and never considered it a failure, on the contrary, I thought it was the crutch to support me if I went back to binge eating, and it was key to improving my disorder food And now I'm in the background again (but I do not like to consider it a step back, but a relapse) and I think it's time to go back to the three-dish structure a day. I thought I was ready to go on a diet, and no, I never was and I think I never will be. Because I do not take into account the pleasure factor of food, I always ignore it, and it's basic. And No S gives me that pleasure without falling into absolute chaos.

Another thing I want to say also is that I now approach this from the point of view of pleasure and moderation, as I said. My weight is a secondary and even tertiary issue. My self-esteem has improved a lot and I am no longer looking to be thinner to accept myself, but I am starting to do it now and I have traveled a long way.


And nothing, after venting here, I want to thank Octavia, who came to ask how I was, and Soprano, who tried to help me as much as he could, but I was not at my best. Thank pretties!

And also to say that it is a pleasure to read again Oolala, Ladybird, Jenji; Linda ... and some who left me but I remember them equally.

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:45 pm

Welcome back, Dalia!

Three meals a day of food you enjoy eating - I hope you have a great week!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:38 pm

Thank you very much automatedeating , at the moment the day is going very well :D :wink:

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Post by Staff Assistant III » Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:46 pm

Welcome back! I just started 12 days ago.

My daughter lives in Valencia after being in Barcelona and then Mataro for a few years. We love to visit!
No S start date 1/11/19

BMI Jan 19 22.7, FEb 19 22.9

Staff Assistant III
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Post by Staff Assistant III » Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:54 pm

Welcome back! I just started 12 days ago.

My daughter lives in Valencia after being in Barcelona and then Mataro for a few years. We love to visit!
No S start date 1/11/19

BMI Jan 19 22.7, FEb 19 22.9

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Post by Soprano » Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:40 pm

Welcome back, I was only thinking about you earlier this week.

Nos is a journey you've obviously learnt a lot and are now ready to fully embrace it

Good luck

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:05 am

Staff Assistant III wrote:Welcome back! I just started 12 days ago.

My daughter lives in Valencia after being in Barcelona and then Mataro for a few years. We love to visit!

Thank you!!!!

I love that you like my country. Barcelona is beautiful, but Valencia is also very beautiful.
I hope you go great with No S!

Soprano wrote:Welcome back, I was only thinking about you earlier this week.

Nos is a journey you've obviously learnt a lot and are now ready to fully embrace it

Good luck

Jx
Thank you so much Soprano!


It is moving that you remembered me

How are you doing? I read in your diary that you have started a new job ...

A huge hug!

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Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:38 am

I'm good thanks Dalia. Just before Christmas I'd lost a stone since end of March, a couple of pounds up over Christmas but back on track now. :)

This does work, stick with it

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Post by Dalia negra » Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:32 am

Soprano wrote:I'm good thanks Dalia. Just before Christmas I'd lost a stone since end of March, a couple of pounds up over Christmas but back on track now. :)

This does work, stick with it

Jx

Wooowwww, a stone! :shock: That is fantastic!! :D :D :D


Thanks for the data, it encourages a lot.

And I'm very happy for you! :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:52 am

Yesterday I was very hungry in the afternoon and very cold (sign that my calories have been cut).
My husband ordered McDonald's and I ate a burger and potatoes. It was all in the plate so I think it's good although I did not feel very good about it, but it was still inside No S, so ...

I continue :wink:

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Post by ladybird30 » Sun Jan 27, 2019 2:46 am

Welcome back Dalia, and here's to three enjoyable meals a day.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Post by oolala53 » Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:43 pm

Welcome home! You have been through a lot. Not focusing on weight was key for me, but moderation and pleasure were. Health has become more of an issue, though by some of my fails, you wouldn't know it.

May I ask that you consider posting this or any version you want on the "Why did you leave?" etc. thread? It's a common story but one that perhaps someone will need to hear. (and it will be an easy place to go look if you get distracted again)

https://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=10878

May I also ask: on the diet, were you encouraged to eat snacks? Could you have other foods at your other meals? What else besides the regimented breakfast was different from No S? Though freedom is allowed, people can and do eventually limit what's on their plates most of the time. It works best when they come to that by trial and error and success. Sometimes using a system of limits can help us see what is satisfying and what isn't.

I think your S day is nearly over by now. (It's only mid afternoon here.) Enjoy every bite!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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Post by oolala53 » Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:54 pm

You'd think having to keep coming back to log my nibbling would stop me from nibbling, but so far, no.

Nibble: Handful of tortilla chips that came with the burrito and that I left sitting out. I wouldn't have thought about them if I hadn't seen them. I threw the last few away.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Dalia negra
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Location: Barcelona (Spain)

Post by Dalia negra » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:14 am

ladybird30 wrote:Welcome back Dalia, and here's to three enjoyable meals a day.


Thank you very much Ladybird !!! :)

oolala53 wrote:Welcome home! You have been through a lot. Not focusing on weight was key for me, but moderation and pleasure were. Health has become more of an issue, though by some of my fails, you wouldn't know it.

May I ask that you consider posting this or any version you want on the "Why did you leave?" etc. thread? It's a common story but one that perhaps someone will need to hear. (and it will be an easy place to go look if you get distracted again)

https://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=10878

May I also ask: on the diet, were you encouraged to eat snacks? Could you have other foods at your other meals? What else besides the regimented breakfast was different from No S? Though freedom is allowed, people can and do eventually limit what's on their plates most of the time. It works best when they come to that by trial and error and success. Sometimes using a system of limits can help us see what is satisfying and what isn't.

I think your S day is nearly over by now. (It's only mid afternoon here.) Enjoy every bite!

Hello oolala!

In the diet I was not encouraged to eat sandwiches, it was three meals, as with No S. The difference is that the breakfast was always the same (bread, cheese, eggs), the food was meat and a small amount of carbohydrates, and the dinner consisted of a fruit and a little black chocolate or nuts (a small amount). The structure was good, the problem is that I'm not very fond of meat and that eating always the same bores me (although I tried to put imagination, but still ...)


Of course I want to go through the thread you tell me ... it is true that what happens to me happens to many, but as you say, if you can help, it will be good :wink:

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Post by Dalia negra » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:20 am

oolala53 wrote:You'd think having to keep coming back to log my nibbling would stop me from nibbling, but so far, no.

Nibble: Handful of tortilla chips that came with the burrito and that I left sitting out. I wouldn't have thought about them if I hadn't seen them. I threw the last few away.

Courage, Oolala! If it's any consolation, yesterday was a No S day and nibbling something was allowed ... even though I know how you feel ... I think that food addiction will never abandon us ... at least to me.

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Post by Octavia » Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:56 pm

So happy to see that you are back, Dalia! :)

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Post by oolala53 » Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:00 am

It's funny, after years of my preserving the chance to have a full dinner at the dinner hour, I'm finding I can often eat lighter and earlier than I thought. BUT I have not committed to this routine, and am looking at finding a way to allow for larger dinner when I eat with others.

A piece of fruit and chocolate may be enough food but my goodness! What an unusual habit and limitation! Seems it would be very hard to fit it in socially. It's good not to be completely controlled by social convention, but that seems to really be pushing it. It's why I think most people can't conform to what some health advocates recommend, which is eating larger amounts in the morning and a lot less at night. Where do they eat like that? I think I'd have to move there, but then I'd always be the outsider, very likely.

It's also funny that in slim cultures, they actually do have rather regimented building blocks of their meals, even if the particulars of the blocks vary. But obviously, they have to be satisfying blocks.

Here is to your satisfying blocks!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Dalia negra
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Post by Dalia negra » Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:11 am

oolala53 wrote:It's funny, after years of my preserving the chance to have a full dinner at the dinner hour, I'm finding I can often eat lighter and earlier than I thought. BUT I have not committed to this routine, and am looking at finding a way to allow for larger dinner when I eat with others.

A piece of fruit and chocolate may be enough food but my goodness! What an unusual habit and limitation! Seems it would be very hard to fit it in socially. It's good not to be completely controlled by social convention, but that seems to really be pushing it. It's why I think most people can't conform to what some health advocates recommend, which is eating larger amounts in the morning and a lot less at night. Where do they eat like that? I think I'd have to move there, but then I'd always be the outsider, very likely.

It's also funny that in slim cultures, they actually do have rather regimented building blocks of their meals, even if the particulars of the blocks vary. But obviously, they have to be satisfying blocks.

Here is to your satisfying blocks!
To be totally honest, I would say that this was actually what you had to eat for a snack, since there was a fourth dinner option consisting of vegetables (measured, a 250 ml bowl) and fish at will, but the premise was that to take the snack (fruit and chocolate) had to wait to be hungry and could even be to end the day, and this was what happened to me, I was very sated by the amount of protein I ate at breakfast and food, and that was enough for dinner. I have to say that I slept very well having dinner so frugally, and that I even managed to make a trip to Berlin eating my chocolate and my fruit for dinner, but I also have to say that this was done in places where everyone ordered their food in the bar and then I ate it in the place or in the street. Also that I was traveling with my husband and my daughter. This summer, for example, we have scheduled a trip to Prague with my husband's family and the Czech family of the wife of my husband's brother, and one of the things that worried me was how I was going to have a different dinner while others ate "normal" things.


It is very interesting what you say that slender cultures always eat in a similar way in their meals and I think that's how it should be, certainly. I believe that the construction of solid habits is the solution to my binge eating and my weight problem. The problem is that I have not yet found the habits that are sustainable for life, for what you say, they must be satisfactory habits. I can maintain the diet for a few months, but curiously, I never spend six months if I arrive ...

Fortunately, we have No S to achieve lifelong habits!
:wink:

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Post by Dalia negra » Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:12 am

Octavia wrote:So happy to see that you are back, Dalia! :)

Hi Octavia !!!! I'm glad to see you again! :D

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 30, 2019 12:50 am

I hope both the planning phase and eventual trip to Prague this summer is wonderful!
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8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7

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Post by Dalia negra » Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:13 am

Thank you very much automatedeating.

I have always loved traveling, but now that I have freed myself from prison I have to follow very rigid rules about what to eat, I hope this trip is very exciting :D

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Location: Barcelona (Spain)

Post by Dalia negra » Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:16 am

Regarding my particular trip with No S, I have to say that yesterday I read oolala in another thread and she told me that if I felt guilty when eating with pleasure it was because I knew that I had eaten more, just for the pleasure of tasting the food. So yesterday I did an experiment and I ate until I felt full without exaggerating, even if I left food on the plate. And it worked. There was no fault, just satisfaction :D

automatedeating
Posts: 3123
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 30, 2019 4:39 pm

Nice experiment!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7

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