Larkspur's check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Wed Apr 18, 2018 1:37 am

Sounds like you're doing well, even with difficult circumstances. Under those conditions, I'd probably have caved into the milkshake.

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Fri May 04, 2018 7:09 pm

Went in for a doctor visit the other day-- wanted to check my TSH due to some dry mouth and crazy heat spells at night. TSH was where it needed to be so I guess it is the perimeno fairy. Anyway, I am 10 lbs down from my highest weight, so that's something anyway. I have normal fasting sugars and my gums don't bleed like they used to, so I am grateful for the non scale victories.

I have been pretty anxious and revved. My job interview went well yesterday and then today, subbing for the same district, I managed to get the time wrong and was half an hour late. So THAT looks great, groan.

One of the health dudes I follow said that drinking lots of water lowers blood cortisol. He and his fellow podcaster always sound so relentlessly cheerful. I wonder if I drank lots of water, stuck to the unprocessed foods and lots of exercise I could put myself into a lower gear. I feel at 51 I should be setting a sedate, elder-stateswoman sort of pace, which (partly because of job hunting) is not happening.

Anyway-- quick gratitude list.

1. Awesome husband. 6'3" and 230 pounds of sheer goodness.

2. Really nice kids. My oldest is on the spectrum and underemployed. He doesn't have much money, but he donated some of what he has to Syrian refugees.

3. I got a bunch of tulips in the ground last fall and they are really rewarding me now.

4. Spring at last, hallelujia. It has been a long time coming for the midatlantic part of the US.

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Fri May 04, 2018 7:46 pm

Larkspur wrote:Went in for a doctor visit the other day-- wanted to check my TSH due to some dry mouth and crazy heat spells at night. TSH was where it needed to be so I guess it is the perimeno fairy. Anyway, I am 10 lbs down from my highest weight, so that's something anyway. I have normal fasting sugars and my gums don't bleed like they used to, so I am grateful for the non scale victories.

I have been pretty anxious and revved. My job interview went well yesterday and then today, subbing for the same district, I managed to get the time wrong and was half an hour late. So THAT looks great, groan.

One of the health dudes I follow said that drinking lots of water lowers blood cortisol. He and his fellow podcaster always sound so relentlessly cheerful. I wonder if I drank lots of water, stuck to the unprocessed foods and lots of exercise I could put myself into a lower gear. I feel at 51 I should be setting a sedate, elder-stateswoman sort of pace, which (partly because of job hunting) is not happening.

Anyway-- quick gratitude list.

1. Awesome husband. 6'3" and 230 pounds of sheer goodness.

2. Really nice kids. My oldest is on the spectrum and underemployed. He doesn't have much money, but he donated some of what he has to Syrian refugees.

3. I got a bunch of tulips in the ground last fall and they are really rewarding me now.

4. Spring at last, hallelujia. It has been a long time coming for the midatlantic part of the US.
Sounds like you're doing great. Plus great kids and a good husband. The job thing will settle down eventually. I've been where you are at 51, and it's no picnic. Spring has finally arrived here in Pa, about d_ _ _ time. As to water putting you in a lower gear, my newest gear reducer is Lanc. Brewing's Dbl Choc. Milk stout. Two of my favorite food groups(well three if you count the milk).

ladybird30
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Post by ladybird30 » Sat May 05, 2018 3:51 am

Lovely story about your oldest Larkspur.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Sat May 19, 2018 11:20 pm

Saw middle daughter graduate today. She came out magna cum laude from a quite difficult program, and was chosen for the writing prize, so I am of course extra proud although just getting through is achievement enough. Got 86 year old mother in law to and from uneventfully. So a good day even though it was very wet and gray on the East Coast.

Read some advice on focusing on one thing at a time when making health changes. I have been able to keep an 14-16 hours fast overnight and have added "gut food" (fiber foods) to most of my meals, so those two things have more or less stuck, partly because of the nice clear benefits. I need to decide what to do next. I wonder what the most helpful change would be? My two main desired outcomes are brain health and weight loss. Open to suggestions. I could try:

*drinking 6 glasses of water daily
*exercising 20 to 30 min daily
*being more vigilant about snacks (I fast at least 14 hours, so I have been less strict with this one, though still not popping food all the time)
*being more careful about plating
*giving up my mod of a daily sweet treat, go to strict S days (I worry this makes me more inclined to overeat on weekend to "fit things in")
*turning lights out faithfully at 11 pm

So if anybody has any thoughts on what might help the most in my two goals, I'm all ears :)

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Sun May 20, 2018 12:30 am

That's interesting on your goals for improved or sustained brain health? What is your goal on that one? I know my wife has worried about that, since her dad developed dementia. For a while, she became an avid puzzler, and now makes her own original cards to keep her brain occupied during retirement. There's a business in our area called Brain Balance which works with children, maybe there's something like that for adults. When I first retired I was playing a lot of online chess, but tired of that after a few months. I think taking up a new hobby that stimulates thinking or renewing on old one is great for brain health. Mine was learning to play guitar, and just a lot of reading. I'll be interested to hear what you decide.

ladybird30
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Post by ladybird30 » Sun May 20, 2018 3:44 am

Hi Larkspur - exercise and getting enough sleep will help both brain health and weight loss (I know many people say that exercise makes no difference to weight loss, but I disagree there).

No snacking will help with weight loss, and probably therefore with brain health (reducing risk of diabetes and associated effects)

Being more careful about plating might help weight loss if you are eating excessively large meals, though my personal inclination is to tackle snacks first.

Drinking 6 glasses of water daily might help if you are chronically dehydrated. As far as I know, for healthy adults thirst is a reliable guide to fluid intake.

I am not a health professional or scientist, the above is based on my reading and personal experience.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Sun May 20, 2018 10:58 am

ladybird30 wrote:Hi Larkspur - exercise and getting enough sleep will help both brain health and weight loss (I know many people say that exercise makes no difference to weight loss, but I disagree there).

No snacking will help with weight loss, and probably therefore with brain health (reducing risk of diabetes and associated effects)

Being more careful about plating might help weight loss if you are eating excessively large meals, though my personal inclination is to tackle snacks first.

Drinking 6 glasses of water daily might help if you are chronically dehydrated. As far as I know, for healthy adults thirst is a reliable guide to fluid intake.

I am not a health professional or scientist, the above is based on my reading and personal experience.
Good points ladybird. Sleeping is certainly a key ingredient. In my own case, exercise was good for maintaining a certain weight range, but is a very minor ingredient in losing weight. I've often heard that it's a 50/50 split for exercise/diet for weight loss. In my case, it was more like 20% exercise to 80% diet. And by diet I don't mean starvation mode, but rather just cleaning up the junk(S's) like NoS did without much thinking. I discovered that with a good eating plan, almost any exercise plan works. With the opposite mix, which would be a good to great exercise plan, and a crappy diet, it almost never works or sustains weight loss. Of course ultra marathon runners or triathlon competitors would be the exceptions.

sharon227
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Exercise!

Post by sharon227 » Sun May 20, 2018 2:55 pm

One vote for exercise :) I am a very enthusiastic fan of exercise. I agree that it's not a big reason you lose weight, but it's so important for overall good health. And isn't that a major reason why we don't want to be overweight?

I also find that when I'm exercising regularly, I'm less likely to want to put crap in my body.

Find something you enjoy doing. Just like eating, exercise should be something that brings pleasure. I love my daily walks. If that doesn't work for you, find something else. Try a bicycle? See if some kind of class works for you? Put on some music and dance?

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Wed May 23, 2018 2:24 am

I decided (seems to be the consensus) on exercise. Success for Sunday and today. I didn’t feel like it, but I called a friend and actually had a lovely walk talking to her.

I have noticed some changes in my memory— it’s like things used to fall into a puddle, and now they fall into a deep dark lake! Like, gone. Luckily I am married to a neuropsychologist so he can keep an eye on me 😜 I think it’s mostly hormonal but I worry about micro vascular changes too. The 50s are a kind of fork in the road for health, and I want to fork the right way.

Happily I got the job I wanted, so yay there.

Noticing that my “just a little†sugar is creeping up. Need to take myself in hand there :)

ladybird30
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Post by ladybird30 » Wed May 23, 2018 3:00 am

Well, they say you can't out exercise a bad diet, and that's probably right. I've always put on weight when I can't exercise, at least in part because I miss out on the mood boosting effects.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Tue May 29, 2018 2:51 am

Well, in the last week, four out of seven days for exercise. It gets pushed out pretty easily but I'm hoping with summer to get a better routine.

And now for my long and boring complaint: The eternal struggle vis a vis my poor MIL waxes and wanes. She had a tough childhood and was pretty dependent on my husband and by extension me even when she was driving and independent. My DH moved his practice next to her apt so he could lunch with her on most days. She started to have more mobility issues so we moved her to a one level condo we own about a mile away. She gave up her car, has struggled with depression on and off for years, and now if she does not have frequent visits/exciting things happening she wilts, gets monotone, and subtly directs her resentment at us, who of course are the ones who visit/call/shop/check mail/pick up prescriptions. I know she doesn't really want to do this. She is very clear she doesn't want to go into a nursing home, and she can't afford one anyway. I truly believe that she needs frequent calls and visits-- very reasonable for someone of her age and physical condition. But she has required a high level of attention/care for many, many years, and I'm getting tired.

I can't really complain to friends because a, it doesn't help, and b, most of my friends are sweet and dutiful people who strongly believe in good eldercare, without actually living near their elderly parents or being on the hook for near-daily duty for even a short time, let alone for ten years plus. I do complain and I'm sure people think I'm selfish and a bit of a piker. Ah well.

Hopefully we'll see our way through this with reasonably good grace. It's too easy to sacrifice self-care to competing family needs and I have to remember that my husband and I need to look after ourselves so we can be there for the others.

Whosonfirst
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Post by Whosonfirst » Thu May 31, 2018 1:16 am

Congrats on the new job. Your "plate" is certainly full. Don't be too tough on yourself.

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:02 pm

So my current program is a sort of modded No S, as in

a little sugar daily
S days Friday and Saturday
try not to snack on S days anyway
fast 15-16 hours from about 6 pm to about 10 am
eat mostly whole foods
beans, oats, or veg at most meals (gut biome!)

I have been having an easier time with eating better food and Friday I was looking forward to a treat. In my wisdom I bought 2 large boxes of candy and ate them BOTH. And I felt pretty much fine. Not even sick. Until I remembered what I am doing to my poor middle aged liver-- I wouldn't drink a fifth, right? Why did I think it was alright to eat 900 calories worth of sugar? Ah me.

I'd already ordered Always Hungry by David Ludwig, with some trepidation-- I have bought/browsed some Mark Hyman, Whole-30 style stuff and I have done South Beach and the like. I was worried it would be polemical or off puttingly hard, but it's more like The Good Gut, which I really like, more focused on putting things in than taking things out. I do think that for some bodies, frequent doses of refined carbs => insulin is a big chunk of the problem, although I know not everyone sees it that way and I respect that. Anyway, after my Jujyfruit debacle, I haven't had anything except fruit and sweetened coffee :)

Exercise has been a challenge lately for no good reason other than I don't feel like it! I am running maybe 3 or 4 days out of 7. So continuing to focus on that and steering away from sweets.

"Those who eat sweets excessively want more and more of them. Unless one takes himself in hand, eating one sweet simply leads to eating another. Such an unbalanced practice crowds out milk, vegetables, fruits and eggs..."
--From "Your Home and You," 1948

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:43 pm

Focus this week: enjoying summer (LOVE SUMMER), and plating more carefully. If I snack while cooking there is less of that yay feeling when I sit down. Have been pretty good about physical activity— summer weather/schedule makes that easier. Lots of family and friend activities lately, gardening, and fussing over my new chickens. My Amish builder says “only a couple of swing sets and I can get to your coop.†Ack! These chickens are getting BIG!

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Mon Sep 24, 2018 1:10 am

Haven't posted in so long I think I forget how to respond to my own thread!

So: back at work full-time. I got the job I wanted. It is work I like and am reasonably suited for, but I have been struggling with anxiety/performance worries & the problem of not being able to be there for my family in the same way I am used to. In particular, I had to distance myself from my MIL for a while. My poor overworked husband has to see to her emotional/practical needs because I just saw red. She doesn't get that I can't be there in the same way, and she snubs attention from other relatives and friends. She didn't ask about my new job or how I was doing because she's so ticked I'm not coming around as much. I am not sure what I'm going to do about that situation but for the moment I am leaving it up to my DH who does not get too ruffled by her schtick. I am going to get some help for my work related anxiety because it does have an off-kilter feeling to it.

So, anyway, how does work affect No S? Sort of easier in some ways because I am pretty much confined to my office so I don't have opportunity or time to get into trouble with food. A little hard to stick to 3 meals because I don't have uninterrupted time to eat. I have lost a few pounds since I started but honestly I think that's muscle loss :(

So, my plan?

I want to eat moderately and well because moderation in eating is part of being a capable and healthy adult.

If I do need something between meals, I want to stick to coffee, nuts or fruit.

I want to keep eating more freggies/gut foods, and fewer sweets.

B/ spinach feta wrap from Starbucks, small mocha
L/French onion soup, 2 bites of cucumber sandwich, half a croissant with butter and jam and a few bites of other people's brunch foods :)
*Did not have candy from the shop with friends. Explored the garden store instead.
S/coffee with sweet creamer and cashews (driving back)
D/ pb&j, apple, bowl of Puffins with 1/2 and 1/2

ladybird30
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Post by ladybird30 » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:11 am

Congrats on getting the job you wanted Larkspur, and recent wins with moderate eating.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Post by wahine » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:12 pm

Congrats on the job!

In my family I’m the one who gets wound up by my own mother and my husband wonders what the problem is.

Welcome back to the thread too.
Kate
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Restart September 2018 31.6

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:09 am

Hi Larkspur!

Congrats on the job, and the good boundaries with your MIL, and with your newfound gusto.

Sorry to hear about the work related performance anxiety. So many of us have "imposter syndrome" where we secretly fear we'll be revealed as incompetent or something. You're not! You got the job and you deserve to be there and to enjoy your work! Hang in there!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:02 am

Thanks for the encouragement, guys :)

Still having issues with being super tired working full time. It has to get better, right? I am trying to figure out sleep (menopause, gah). Better sleep does seem to mean that I have enough energy at the end of the day to like, sit up once I get home. I went back to 10-2-6 meals at work, and that definitely felt better. I had really nice food on purpose and that helped too. I need to figure out exercise, because I'm not getting any. If anybody has any tips for going back to work full-time, I'm all ears!

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Post by automatedeating » Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:43 am

The first thing I would say is that you are experiencing a big schedule change, and that takes a long time (dare I say at least a couple months) to adjust to.
Second, I just want to encourage you that your family (and your husband, and your mil) will be fine. They'll adjust too!
Third, start spending a little more $$ on convenience & luxury items - whether it's particular foods, eating out/take-out, date night, massages, or clothes - to sort of make life easier and have some little pleasures that offset some of the strain of the full-time work.

I would probably have some other ideas, but hey, it is Friday night and I'm trashed. :-)

Does 10-2-6 mean the times that you eat? Sounds good to me. :-)

Oh, last thing - exercise. I have tried EVERYTHING over the past 12 years. I find that, for me, the ONLY thing that sticks is fitting it in to my day in a fairly gentle way -- no serious sweating or showers needed. For me, walking to work was great for one year (actually, my first NoS year). This year, biking to work seems to be the trick. Walking BEFORE work has been successful, too. Things that haven't worked are health clubs or more intense workouts that I end up dreading. Oh, I also do well when I think -- I shouldn't sit down and instead keep busy with housework. I tell myself that it's actually healthier for me than sitting on the couch and keeping me healthier and happier. :lol: Then when I finally do let myself sit down I really feel great and relaxed and like I've totally earned it.

omg I just realized that all of this may be stressing you out. I get overwhelmed trying to juggle all my "goals"; sorry if I dumped that on you.

So my last encouragement is -- sometimes you will just feel like you are going to crack -- and when that happens, claim an S afternoon and go to a movie (that same afternoon) and eat a tub of popcorn. 8) :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Post by Larkspur » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:19 am

Thanks Auto! All good advice. I do buy myself weekly flowers, and I have a lovely woman who cleans for me every two weeks. I've also been shelling out for Instacart. Not grocery shopping is the bomb.

Exercise is still not enough. Short things I don't mind doing seems to be the most promising. So far it's pretty much 1 sun salutation every morning, a ten minute walk with my slow poke dog, maybe a long walk or the weekend or some gardening. Not there yet.

Definitely happier and feeling better sticking to eating at 10-2-6. This being Sunday I treated myself to a 4, which was a cup of sweet coffee and part of homemade scone. I do notice since the time restricted eating, my annoying chronic aches are much, much better, so that's a blessing.

I planned out all our meals this week, cleaned out the frig, inventoried the pantry, and ordered instacart. Eating a lot of Standard American Diet things but trying to get fruit or veg with every meal.

Here's to a relaxed and energetic week, all!

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:07 pm

My goodness you got a lot done! Go you!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Post by Larkspur » Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:06 am

Reading some threads here and on the general discussion board kind of nudged me to saddle up, at least for today. So today was:

10/ apple and bagel with cheese
1:30/ bowl of chili, some smart food, little box of raisins
4/homemade latte
7/this Ina Garten mustard panko chicken thing that was too complex for a weeknight, and roasted carrots, potato, broccolli

Usually I eat way more stuff than that but the chili is very filling, and also I started medication to help me just generally cope. I've been cleaning up my sleep hygiene mainly by parting from my well-loved husband and our nice bedroom to go sleep in the guestroom at the first snore, sniff. I did my Sun Salutation and walk around the block and as I have changed into PJs, I'm thinking that's all that's happening tonight. But I felt good today, not totally drained by work, and Wellbutrin is super helpful when greeting the $900 sewer bill to match the $900 water bill from when your son and his roommates failed to recognize the sound of a running toilet for the second time in three months.

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:33 pm

Larkspur wrote: I've been cleaning up my sleep hygiene mainly by parting from my well-loved husband and our nice bedroom to go sleep in the guestroom at the first snore, sniff.
Good for you! I think married couples sometimes really suffer in this regard. Glad you're taking care of yourself.
Wellbutrin is super helpful when greeting the $900 sewer bill to match the $900 water bill from when your son and his roommates failed to recognize the sound of a running toilet for the second time in three months.
EEEK!!!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Post by Octavia » Sun Oct 21, 2018 10:31 pm

OMG - so sorry to hear about the bills.

Good on you, moving to the spare room at the first snore. This is surely better than waiting till you are a ball of tense frustration. Our sleep is so precious! I know when my DD has left home, so there’s a spare room, I will be doing the same!

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Post by Larkspur » Mon Nov 05, 2018 1:48 am

In that place where I know I would be happier if I organized myself around food a little better-- still eating 16/8 or maybe 15/9, but some snacking and not always the best food choices. I've kept ten off and my fasting blood sugar was decent the other day but I am still pudgy.

We take dinner to MIL on Sundays. She is so old that it seems silly to be upset by her. I got her awesome son, so I can afford to be generous, right? But she generally manages to leave me feeling unattractive and undistinguished. There are pictures of every family member except... me, the woman who's been married to her son for 28 years. I'm feeling insecure about my looks which is partly being 52-- which is the more or less okay part, growing older is a privilege not everyone gets, even if I am looking more and more like my Uncle Dennis (nothing against my Uncle Den, whom I adore, but I'm female :)) Part of me is just so over this-- really, at 52, we still have to worry about being pretty enough? Argh!

The plan for tomorrow-- I packed this lovely cereal with flax and pumpkin seeds and pecans, to have with yogurt and a chopped apple for breakfast-- bagel with cheese, smartfood, maybe another apple at lunch-- chicken stew for dinner. Et voila. A plan.

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Post by automatedeating » Mon Nov 05, 2018 1:53 am

Larkspur wrote:I'm feeling insecure about my looks which is partly being 52-- which is the more or less okay part, growing older is a privilege not everyone gets, even if I am looking more and more like my Uncle Dennis (nothing against my Uncle Den, whom I adore, but I'm female :)) Part of me is just so over this-- really, at 52, we still have to worry about being pretty enough? Argh!
You made me laugh out loud! Keep being you, your hubby and your MIL are lucky to have you (even if she refuses to admit it!!!) :wink:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Post by eschano » Mon Nov 05, 2018 7:58 am

It made me laugh too so you clearly have a great sense of humour - much more important than looks anyways and I would bet everything on the fact that you’re a lot more attractive than you think you are. Ever looked back on pictures of a younger you and thought “oh I was actually much better looking than I felt� Well the same is happening now.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

Larkspur
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Post by Larkspur » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:49 pm

Bullet point check-in

*I've been reading Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Sugar. Not on board with all of it (he hates bread), but I have been helped by the thought that sugar does not have to be this icon of forbidden delight; it's a self perpetuating addiction and not necessarily All That. A helpful thought as I reform my diet from the dietary trainwreck of my Christmas and New Year's.

*Another author suggested a 3-bite plan for foods you feel like you shouldn't be eating. I've done it with fries and sweet things for a couple of days and I like it.

*Using Habitica with the family to remember all the things I can't remember otherwise. Alas the exercise piece has not been good. I use my standing desk most of the day at work but I am just wiped when I get home and have not been able to make myself row in the basement or go walking in the cold dark. Weekends are better.

*Still roughly 16:8. I was planning to go to 19:5 and then decided to clean up my diet first. Trying not to snack during the 8 hours but with my schedule I can't always eat a full meal when scheduled. Don't have too much difficulty avoiding food during the 16 though.

My January is pretty dry but then so are my other months :) Not my indulgence of choice.

Weight stable over the holidays-- I think 16:8 saved me, 'cause I ate horribly.

Happy New Year, all!

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:12 pm

Yay for the board clean up! Thanks to Reinhardt! That was sort of What's Wrong with Modern Life in a nutshell-- a good thing corrupted by meaningless noise.

So:

Eating: My plans wobble around a center, but the Current Thought is to eat 2 meals a day, call it three if you want to count a handful of almonds and a kiwi to make it to a later dinner. Helps me mentally. Trying to eat around 10-11 and 5-6. Eating some gut food at each meal. Also eating desserts at meals because I'm just not there yet. Maybe I need to read some more Alan Carr :roll:

Exercise: Sick, therefore No. I looked up class times at the gym. So that's the extent of it today.

Mental State: Wobbly. Going back full time has been hard although I like my job. We're not really set up for it. DH has an intense job. I'm the only driver. 17 year old scared to drive, and DH can't due to vision. 87 year old MIL in housing we own who doesn't drive, 27 year old son in housing we own who doesn't drive. Mortgages for all of the above. Deep breath. Started therapy. I figure I just have to keep this up for 6.5 more years. We have been dedicating half my salary to accelerate mortgages, plus we don't have to shell out $1400-2K a month in health insurance, so my working full time really helps.

Weight: BMI 30.3

Funsies: Sick this weekend, so spent much of it playing with watercolor :)

automatedeating
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by automatedeating » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:08 pm

Lots of fun stuff in your post!

What gut foods are you focusing on at meals? I'm very into my prebiotics. :-) I try to have soluble fiber daily - my main source is avocado; I try to eat onions & cabbage daily, and I have come to believe from my research that certain oligosaccharides in yogurt are also prebiotic. Anyway, so just curious what your favorite "gut foods" are. (history to my prebiotic obsession - I got C.dif from antibiotics in Fall 2014 and ever since then have been working to get my gut healed. I feel great now so I'm optimistic my gut is happy with the amounts of fiber and probiotics it gets)

Watercolor!!!!!! Yes!!!!! Good for you - that sounds like a healthy outlet for the immense stress/burden that is on you. As I read your post, my honest and initial reaction was - that is TOO much burden on one mom. I am glad you are going to therapy, and I hope you can find some ultra-creative solutions (because you must be ultra-creative to juggle all that) to help reduce the strain on you.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Whosonfirst
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Whosonfirst » Mon Feb 04, 2019 9:25 pm

Wow, have to agree with auto about all the built in stressors in your life. You sound like a rock of Gibraltar. I've toyed (a little) with the idea of using Lyft or Uber for transportation in our future. Has to be cheaper than owning, paying for parking, servicing, and insuring a couple of vehicles. Of course we'd have to do a better job of planning our trips and errands. Glad to hear you're doing water colors. My daughter started painting after post partum depression with her 2nd child. Hang in there.

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Thu Feb 28, 2019 1:46 am

Auto-- your posts are always fascinating :) For gut food, usually some kind of fruit or vegetable and I do eat yogurt most days. I have also bought probiotic prunes. Good idea? Bad? Who knows? So sorry to hear you had C Diff. Pure misery I'm told.

Whosonfirst-- My husband, not a driver, uses Uber a lot. It's been fantastic for him. I'm just waiting for the self driving cars :)

Update:

Exercise: short dog walks or 2000 m rows plus the daily sun salutation are about it. I am recovering from a hobbling Rug Hooking injury. I rug hooked during an Umbrella Academy marathon with the fam and my shoulder is just now recovering :)

Mental Health: Fairly good I guess. Felt piteous the other day because there has never really been anybody who could run out and get me ibuprofen but I drew some high cards in other areas so I guess it evens out.

Food: After much dialectic I have decided to sign up for Weight Watchers digital, which I am combining with, get this, No-S and 16:8 time restricted eating. The mental gymnastics over this choice are impressive, but I've decided it's worth a whirl, because I was having trouble limiting sweets/bready things and could use a nudge towards unprocessed foods. I do worry I will eat too much fruit (query: Do we think it killed Steve Jobs?) or that I will get into a Thing, or screw up my not really all that bad metabolism which I have protected pretty carefully over 27 years of being overweight. If I feel like it's too restrictive or not enough calories I will chuck it. I wonder if my dad's making it into his 80s despite diabetes and heart disease is his endless punitive dieting. He has the metabolism of a snail and it probably keeps him going.

Little goal: Not talk about calories, points, dieting, which foods are diet-friendly, or any of that. My 17 year old does not need to be hearing that.

automatedeating
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by automatedeating » Thu Feb 28, 2019 2:10 am

Loved this post! You made me laugh on one occasion
I do worry I will eat too much fruit (query: Do we think it killed Steve Jobs?) or that I will get into a Thing,
and completely confused me on at least one (WTH is a rug-hooking injury and an Umbrella Academy Marathon?)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Whosonfirst
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Whosonfirst » Sat Mar 09, 2019 5:00 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Feb 28, 2019 2:10 am
Loved this post! You made me laugh on one occasion
I do worry I will eat too much fruit (query: Do we think it killed Steve Jobs?) or that I will get into a Thing,
and completely confused me on at least one (WTH is a rug-hooking injury and an Umbrella Academy Marathon?)
i had a similar reaction to those two myself. I often wished I'd lived a short time in Asia, so I could visit an umbrella maker and learn how they make those bamboo umbrellas. It has to do with making an umbrella kite(in my past) and that bamboo is super difficult to master. Sorry for the thread hi-jack.

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:23 am

Belated explanations-- Umbrella Academy is a series on I think Netflix? Kind of a live action superhero deal. And rug hooking is making a pattern in burlap with wool strips to form a picture or, well, a rug. Sorry to be cryptic!

Overall well being: it's been bumpy, but better lately. I knew I had to do something and the therapist I'm seeing has not been helpful. My friends are mostly clergy and psychologists so I have high falutin ideas, and it just isn't a good match. I am profoundly hoping I have the guts to end it at my next appointment. Too Nice has been a bit of a theme for me lately. I ran into the book Miracle Morning pecking around the internet and started getting up between five and five thirty on work days. The extra time to meditate, exercise a little and do a bit of something-- anything-- I enjoy has helped shift things. I go to bed reeeeal early but that's okay.

Eating: WW was unsurprisingly a bust. I just found it too difficult to make the points thing work on weekdays without living like a fruit bat which left me feeling not great. I still keep an 8-9 hour eating window which seems to agree with me, and generally 3 meals. No sweets is problematic-- restricting during the week seems to make my weekends kind of bumpy and bingey and unfun. But eating sweets during the week does not help me with weight loss. Still working on that one.

Exercise: 15 minutes a day of yoga or rowing in the morning. Better than nothing.

Other health pursuits: Trying all kinds of things. Vitamin C serum for my skin. Standing desk. Black cohosh for hot flashes. I actually tried some CBD oil-- the lady at the Hemp Shop was so enthusiastic :) I read that it does actually work for pain, and I got some for my DH for his plantar fascitis. It's also supposed to help with anxiety so I thought I'd try it. Probably totally placebo but I'm going with it. My daughter proposed some actual THC. Holding off on that one :)

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Tue Jun 18, 2019 11:11 pm

So--

1. Spike in weight lately. Fair amount of stress with the end of the school year and I think my choices (or survival responses, depending on how you look at it) put me in a place where I could kind of watch my body trying to put on weight. Insulin resistant ==> increased appetite. Since school ended Friday I've been trying to do things like weight training, no snacking, fibery gut-friendly foods to help reverse the cycle. I can feel my appetite calming down although the weight hasn't followed yet.

2. The mental game needs more work because, frankly, I'm in another unspoken battle with my 87 year old MIL. My husband has to go away for a few days of professional training and though she was fine in the morning when he visited, by some mysterious coincidence she felt too weak to walk properly by evening. She called 911 which meant we had to leave our school meeting, scarf dinner, and rally round at the hospital. CT and urine cultures negative, blood work all looks good, no precipitating event or illness they can find. This happened on the first day of my break. "Oh, poor Larkspur, I'm SURE you had better plans for your day!" I did, in fact. I've looked forward to this time, dreamed of it, chuckled and caressed it in my mind like a miser hoarding gold, and she just neatly cut in and took it. I know the rational response is to remind myself she has a trauma history, she doesn't do this consciously, I can choose my boundaries and keep them. I should probably watch in admiration and take lessons-- she's a doctoral-level survivor. I hope to get that place but in the short term I have pretty much lost the last 24 hours to unbridled rage. I need to write her into my mystery novel, and believe me, she's not going to be the consulting detective.

3. In other news doing pretty well with no snacks, which makes me notice things like 2 hour school meetings held between 5:30 and 7:30. Either everyone else has admirable control of their hunger or they're all snacking beforehand. No S is not always in step with American culture.

4. On a more cheerful note, my sweetie 17 year old got her permit, so I think I will take her for a bit more driving practice in our quiet neighborhood. She's so excited. She has a trip to Italy next month and I'm hoping to give her a good summer before senior year.

Peace, everyone! I could sure use some!

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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Candace » Tue Jun 18, 2019 11:31 pm

Wow! Sounds like you're trying to deal with a lot, all at once. Does DH ever run interference between you and his mother? Not that you can't deal with things on your own, but hey, she's his mother. I hope he makes you feel loved and valued, as your posts clearly show you love and value him.

I'm about to turn 53, so we're the same age. Congratulations on your daughter getting her permit.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:33 pm

Thanks, Candace-- DH gets it. He does his best. She's not gonna change. I just have to figure out my own boundaries. She does love the attention and stimulation of rehab so maybe that will keep her occupied for a bit.

I decided to take some time and figure out my own theory of obesity to help me figure out what I want to do this summer. I had a dream I did no sugar or flour until my birthday in August, but I realized I am definitely still in precontemplation for that, LOL. For me I think the problem is mainly physical. I know as a nurse when I give insulin, the patient has to eat or they'll be in trouble. So here's my theory:

Physical (my main problem):
1. insulin release makes you want to eat carbs, repeat
2. gut biome populates depending on what you eat and demands more of the same

Mental:
1. "I deserve--"
2. Busy and stressed out/ quality food is perishable and a PITA to prepare
3. Baking/sweet stuff means family time, reward, making people happy

Luckily in the summer I have much more time. I'm working on making myself less insulin resistant while enjoying my meals, my family and my summer. Hoping I can train my pancreas, muscles and gut to be happy with moderate carbs. So that's no snacks except coffee, 15-16 hour overnight fast, appeasing the sweet tooth with chocolate or fruit as much as I can.

Larkspur
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:34 am

Realizing I shoot past fullness at every meal. I eat fast, which is part of the issue. I also don't seem to hold as much. My goal today was to end up in the green on the full-o-meter. I succeeded at one meal today, LOL. It's a start!

Ordered some berberine. I think my weight problems have an insulin-y component. Little afraid to take it, but I think I might attempt a six week trial if I tolerate it well.

B/half bagel with cream cheese, part of a donut, fruit, coffee
L/tea-lemonade, leftover nachos, another part of a donut, prunes, raspberries
D/chili, salad, few fries, and a few more bits of donut

Much shoveling, hauling and spreading of mulch in our very welcome sunshine :)

automatedeating
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:08 pm

Hi Larkspur!

I could have written all of this, except the baking part (LOL!):
Physical (my main problem):
1. insulin release makes you want to eat carbs, repeat
2. gut biome populates depending on what you eat and demands more of the same

Mental:
1. "I deserve--"
2. Busy and stressed out/ quality food is perishable and a PITA to prepare
3. Baking/sweet stuff means family time, reward, making people happy
I think you are probably right on the money. As you probably already know, I found a nice resolution for myself using the moderate carb approach. I am mildly insulin resistant (I had the testing done to confirm this, which gave me the final "oomph" of confidence to get truly underway with my plan). I found that I could eat 75 -100g of carbs every day and be fine -- that's very nicely moderate! I do limit grains. Wheat seems to be a nightmare for my gut and my waistline and my thinking. I actually kind of hate it now and it's easy to avoid. Doesn't feel like any kind of a sacrifice. My carbs are mostly dairy, followed by some fruit, some veggies, and a little bit of grain (mostly corn, but hamburger buns one or two times a week). My desserts I stick with ice cream and avoid wheaty stuff (again, this is easy for me since I LOVE ice cream and never feel satisfied after wheat-based desserts).

We have been on vacation, and all boundaries out the window. I'm feeling bloated, constipated, and eager to get back to normal eating.

Oh, also I had my microbiome tested (Viome). I have average metabolic gut microbe profile, extremely LOW inflammation, but also Low biodiversity. That last part didn't surprise me at all because my poor body has had antibiotics so many times. I do take a prebiotic soluble fiber supplement some mornings (it never dissolves as well as I'd like, which is annoying) - I had C. dif in 2014 and the soluble fiber was a lifesaver during recovery.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Wed Jun 26, 2019 6:53 pm

Hi Auto: Happy news on the low inflammation-- that's a great! It must also be very helpful to not like wheat things. I wish I could say the same, alas.

I want to look for the books you mentioned in Octavia's thread. I got a free card to the Free Library of Philadelphia which has some great Kindle options-- maybe I will have luck there.

Summer is wonderful. I do have some trouble with the head game. Honestly the most helpful thing is that after some practice I seem to have gotten the hang of meditation, and sometimes that's helpful to turn me around when I'm wasting my time feeling angry or sad or insecure about stuff beyond what is useful to spur action. I realize I spend so much thought and energy on certain themes (being super resentful of my MIL for example) which are a waste of my precious time and don't help the situation.

I did start berberine so we'll see if that does anything. Probably makes sense to give it 5 or 6 weeks unless I have a bad response to it.

I have been staying active, avoiding snacks and not eating past fullness or at least not much past it :) Weight is still high. I could get frustrated but I'm going to try to not get too tied up in knots about it.

automatedeating
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jun 27, 2019 1:53 pm

ooh do tell your best meditation "getting the hang of it" tip. I get so bored and antsy. Sigh. Help?
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Larkspur » Fri Jun 28, 2019 6:42 pm

Auto: This is what I did. I meditated at 5:30 in the morning right after dragging myself out of bed. It felt like a continuation of sleep and to some degree it was :) But it connected me with this warm, good feeling in my body which is how I learned to like it. I find that I have kind of "learned" it on some level, and I do now often get the mind-calming benefit of it and I will want to do it when I'm feeling anxious or ruffled. I have to connect it with that pleasurable physical feeling. Kinda matches up with the theme for many of us on the board-- you have to have a positive hook or change is just not going to be sustainable.

So I have been trying berberine for a few days. I have been combined it with a slightly lower carb approach. One or both is helping with my weird hunger and cravings. If it keeps going well I'll keep it up until the bottle runs out.

B/ yogurt, homemade granola, peach, a few raspberries from my bushes, coffee with cream and ovaltine
L/ Amy's bean burrito, apple with honey, cashews, prunes
D/ to be-- something from grubhub

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lpearlmom
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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:25 am

The meditation sounds interesting & your food looks yummy!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

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Re: Larkspur's check-in

Post by Dandelion » Tue Jul 09, 2019 6:55 am

I’ve been thinking of trying Berberine. I’ll be interested to hear what you think.
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

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