automated eating tracker

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sat Dec 22, 2018 11:14 pm

Saturday, Dec. 22

S Day!

127.8

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert: piece of leftover Costco birthday cake
D: tortilla chips, cheese, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream
Alcohol: 2 glasses of wine

Moving
nothing

Spending
Local grocery - refried beans, pastured eggs, english muffins

Reading
nothing last night

Warning - alcohol ramble coming -
I'm sorry that you all have to see my constant alcohol struggle. :?
Apologies in advance if this is all TMI - please skip if this is stressful or disgusting for you to read.....

But I think it's important for me to document it. I started a dry December and it's been a complete failure. I did a pretty good dry September and the first half of August, so I think I just picked a particularly bad time of year with December.

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. I think my sister is an alcoholic. My dad never drinks, my mom is very light in her drinking (although she has spoken of alcoholics on her side of the family). My other sister rarely drinks and seems to have no attraction to it. I've considered complete abstinence (lots of times), and I've considered MANY ways to moderate, and tried quite a few methods (I always fail). I was feeling mightily discouraged about ever being able to moderate. I was reading quite a bit yesterday about the efforts to moderate drinking. I guess it's not that common to fail, and then eventually some people decide to give it up forever. Others succeed at finding that moderation.

Here are the moderation efforts I have made:
*buy a certain amount at the start of the week and don't buy anymore when that's gone. Probable causes of failure - My husband will often bring home some and then I can't resist; or I buy some because I feel it justifies a particularly hard day.
*Picking certain days that are alcohol-free. Probable cause of failure - justification of extra day needed because I deserve to have a break

Here are some successes (however minimal they may be):
*I very rarely get drunk or feel that I had too much to drink. I'm quite good at sensing when I feel mildly relaxed and then stopping. The desire to avoid any bad feelings associated with alcohol is very good at stopping me from drinking too much.
*My moderation efforts at least successfully curt-tail steady, daily drinking. Even though I feel like a failure, these efforts keep me from sliding straight into alcoholism.
*I successfully have 1 or 2 dry months every year. I've done 40 days multiple times as well.

Here's what I like about drinking (red wine is my preference):
1. It relaxes me and sometimes helps me warm up a little
2. It is pleasurable tasting
3. My gut feeling is that it's potentially healthy for me, particularly cardiovascular health.
4. It keeps me from snacking in the evening, because it is like a special treat for me.
5. update/edit after this stream of consciousness entry -- it provides escape from the life that I feel trapped in. :shock:

What I don't like about my drinking:
1. It is almost every night and takes concerted effort to take nights off.
2. It could encourage my kids to use alcohol for coping.
3. It is expensive.
4. I occasionally drink too much and don't feel good the next day
5. I definitely drink over the recommended govt. guidelines. And yes, I keep track.

What would it look like for me to be comfortable with my drinking?
*it would include days off every week
*it would mean drinking 7 drinks max per week

I think I need to consider how many more attempts at moderation I will allow myself before I decide I just won't drink at all anymore.

Also, I find that I'm usually pretty good at sticking to my commitments, etc. Something about alcohol use is different for me (apparently, based on my repeated failures). It's as though I don't really want to stop or even reduce my drinking. I think there's a little rebel inside of me that is damned determined it deserves to get a few moments to itself everyday. The alcohol is an escape from the grind of my life.

I think I've possibly discussed this elsewhere, but I wonder if my alcohol use is similar to sugar addicts or overeating issues. Oolala is always telling people they will only stop when the desire to avoid the bad stuff is greater than the desire to indulge right now. Well.....I am not convinced that avoiding alcohol is really better for me health-wise (I know that there is evidence both ways, but sometimes these convictions are not really about data, you know what I mean???). Maybe that's not rational, but I'm not scared enough about alcohol consequences. So I have this very obvious internal struggle going on.

Yesterday I was contemplating that I do much better as a mom when I don't drink. I wondered if that would/could be the inspiration I need to make long-lasting improvements in my drinking. Update/edit upon rereading -- that's the whole problem!!! I think I'm already trying as hard as I can as a parent, and the alcohol is what I turn to when I can't take another second of domesticity.

I think that drinking is a way for me to escape the burdens and obligations of parenthood. It's like I don't have better coping skills. And I feel kind of angry imagining the suggestions people might give me -- go for a walk - take a bath - read a book - listen to music - run errands - do a craft - call a friend - clean the house - eat ice cream. None of these seem like adequate replacements. I really think there are so many things about raising kids that I just don't like and wish I didn't have to do. The constant discipline that Challenger13 requires wears out my last ATP molecule. And the nurturing that Creator9 needs sucks out my last generosity drip. Deep down, I'm super selfish and don't want to serve others. I like to do my own thing. The drudgery of life weighs down on me. There's always so much to do. I think I resent that I have so much to do. Uh-oh. Maybe that means deep down I'm super LAZY. Lazy and selfish, sounds delightful. How do healthy, non-drinking people cope with the stresses of life? My sister-in-law is raising 6 kids and she never drinks. I honestly get skin-crawly thinking about having to live her life. I'm sorry everyone. I sound terrible and probably you are thinking I never should have had children (go ahead and think it - I think it all the time....)

Is marijuana the new acceptable "escape" drug? Maybe I could stop drinking and use that instead. :-)
For a VERY short time, I had a Xanax prescription (Fall 2016). I've got to say, those pills were the best! That's the feeling I love, and I can totally see how I'm seeking that with alcohol. They even work on the same brain receptors.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

ladybird30
Posts: 530
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 10:41 pm

Post by ladybird30 » Sun Dec 23, 2018 3:59 am

One of the reasons I didn't have children was that I knew I didn't have what it takes to be a parent. I don't think that makes me selfish or lazy, just realistic.

I am full of admiration for women like yourself who parent, run a home and have paid work as well. It did strike me that being a good example to your kids might be a powerful motivator.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sun Dec 23, 2018 3:36 pm

Thanks ladybird. I hope I don't freak out too many people with my post. But I've always been a fan of transparency, even when it is uncomfortable and cringe-worthy.

And yes - the kid example is the most powerful motivator in my contemplations. But still not powerful enough. I need to dig deeper and figure out how to master this aspect of my life.

Sunday, December 23
S Day

128.5

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon and eggs
L: (will be) lunch with in-laws. We are driving there today.
D: (will be) eating with in-laws from now until Thursday breakfast.
Dessert - if there are Christmas treats there, I am indulging tonight!
Alcohol: limit will be 2 glasses of wine
Also, I have these little cards I printed out. On them I will keep track of my mood and any triggers I experience when I choose to pour a glass of wine.

Travel time coming and that means eating can get derailed. I am not in control of the menu, although I think I can have reasonable input.
When possible, I will choose meats, cheeses, salads, and vegetables.
I need to be prepared to avoid - snack mixes, sugar cookies, potatoes, and other starchy dishes such as tortillas.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Octavia
Posts: 664
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Post by Octavia » Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:18 pm

Hi Auto,
Sorry you’re feeling low. And I’m the last person in the world who can advise you on giving up a ‘vice’ or whatever these things are. I fail to give up overeating on a regular basis. And I certainly couldn’t give up alcohol, even though for some reason it’s not on my radar as a thing to give up. I rarely have a week off, though I do have days off without it being a problem, and I am just lucky that way - very, very lucky. But reading about the reasons you have those glasses of wine, I just wanted to say, I think you (like many women) are justified in wanting freedom, rebellion, self-determination. I feel exactly the same, and I think these are valid desires and not to be ashamed of. Parenting and working can be oppressive. Even being married can be oppressive. I sometimes get very low when I’m on holiday with the family because I want freedom so badly. And my way of soothing these feelings has occasionally been more ‘radical’ than a few glasses of wine, believe me! Over the years I’ve decided that despite my feelings and occasional acts of rebellion, I show up as a parent and a worker, and that’s what matters.

I once read a book on depression (The Curse of the Strong, by someone Cantopher) which said if you’re feeling guilty, that’s a good sign. It’s a sign that you are being selfish for a change, which is what you need.

I suppose the trouble is, when our need to rebel and break out and do something selfish gets attached to a repeated behaviour that we can’t entirely control. Like for me, I used to overeat chocolate in exactly the same spirit you describe with your drinking. I had to separate the two things - the desire for autonomy and the chocolate consumption - and No S did help with that. (I also came to suspect that my chocolate habit was exaggerating the feelings of frustration and desperation to break free - it may or may not be the same for you.) Anyway I guess what I’m saying is that maybe you can work on your drinking without denying those powerful and valid feelings. Actually, your drinking doesn’t sound too bad to me, but you’re the best judge of that (and I appreciate that your family history is a worry for you). Hey, it’s Christmas too - the worst time to develop our willpower! The visitors! The in-laws! The temptations. Arghh!

Anyway Auto, do ignore any/all of this if it feels wrong for you...just sharing my experience - hope that’s OK. 🙂

Well I’ll stop rambling on now. Hope you are forgiving yourself and feeling a bit better. X

Soprano
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Sun Dec 23, 2018 9:47 pm

Thats a real from the heart post Auto. Stop feeling bad about your parenting skills. It's hard, unrewarding work for the most part. You don't get a manual and all you can do is your best in the moment. Sometimes you'll look back and know you got it wrong but you are only human!

Re the drinking, difficult one. I love red wine too :)

I know I can live without alcohol but I also enjoy a drink and sometimes feel I need one. I try on the whole not to drink Mon to Thursday but some meals cry out for a glass of wine!

We drink more than my parents did but not as much as some friends do. I try and moderate it for health reasons but it is difficult when our social lives revolve around it.

If like me you rebel against rules don't set too many re drinking. Do it consciously, enjoy it and stop when you've had enough

I'm rambling :) Take what works for you and ignore the rest.

Have a great holiday,

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:52 pm

Thank you Octavia & Soprano. Your messages were so encouraging - I believe there are nuggets in both of your posts i will be using to work through this in the weeks to come.
Im at my in laws with just my phone so i can't type much, but suffice to say i appreciate more than words can say......
Sun -
B: bacon & eggs
L: cream cheese salami roast beef cheese toast
D: more of above (others had lasagne)
Dessert: ice cream
2 glasses of wine
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:40 am

Christmas Eve 2018!
B: bacon & eggs, coffee w/milk
L: salami, cheese & a few potato chips
D: steak, salad, French fries & mushrooms
3 glasses of wine
Trigger for glass 3: returned to in laws from another relatives & glasses were poured while adults filled stockings. I may not finish this glass actually. It's late & I'm tired!
Dessert: 4 cookies total - 1 perfect sugar cookie (no frosting), 2 of these amazing chocolate chip cookied with some sort of snicker filling. 1 oatmeal type cookie that was a little too dry.
Moving
Walk/jog in in laws neighborhood with happy herder

Spending
Goodwill - 5 pairs of jeans for $40 ðŸ˜
Trader Joe's - a few items for Christmas eve dinner

Reading
I think creator is asleep, but I'll go check!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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lpearlmom
Posts: 4148
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Dec 25, 2018 6:50 am

*Hugs* First of all you are not a bad parent and second of all your struggles with alcohol are definitely not disgusting. You are brave and honest to talk about stuff that so many of us struggle with.

You know I struggle with the alcohol stuff as well so I totally get you. I actually just kind of gave up on it and have wine pretty much every night now. This is probably dangerous but I’ve just given myself permission to go ahead and have a couple glasses a night. I noticed that with full permission, I drink less but of course if I had alcoholic tendencies, this would be dangerous. My mom had a drinking problem for awhile when we were younger and my grandmother (on dads side) drank too much so I worry too.

But honestly the fact that you’re so self-aware and concerned probably means you don’t have an actual problem. I actually asked my friend who is sober how one knows if they’ve got a problem and they asked me if I ever had a dui. I said no and he said alcoholics can’t control their drinking enough to avoid legal ramifications in most cases. I think my problem is more social drinking. I get nervous and use alcohol for social lubrication and tend to overdo it. Sometimes this leads to embarrassing memories and often hangovers. That’s the part I need to work on. Not overdoing it in these situations.

As far as parenting goes, you are not lazy but any stretch of the imagination and your feelings are perfectly valid and normal. I’m an introvert so need space and down time each day. When my kids were younger and clingy and needy, I thought I was going to go mad some days. Parenting is hard especially since it sounds like you’ve got some intense kiddos like mine. Modern parenting is even harder because we don’t have the social support families used to have. Breaks are limited.

My unsolicited advice would be to actually be lazier. I know this sounds terrible but maybe let them have a little more electronic and/or tv time and give yourself a little more me time. They’ll be fine really. I know that goes against your true values but whatever you decide, do put your sanity first. Maybe more date nights out?

Also know it’ll get easier. They will get more independent, spend more time with friends and sleep till noon. Hang in there and cut yourself some slack. Parenting is tough.
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

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Octavia
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Location: UK

Post by Octavia » Tue Dec 25, 2018 10:29 am

Merry Christmas Auto! I love Linda’s advice, be more lazy. I agree. Often the thing to do is the opposite of what the strict Agony Aunt in our minds would say. And I too think you are an amazing parent.

I’m skiving right now, laying on the bed with the iPad instead of hoovering and tidying. FIL is due any minute. Maybe I’ll go and heat up some mulled wine....

sharon227
Posts: 267
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Post by sharon227 » Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:03 pm

Hugs from here. I don't have kids, and honestly don't know how people raise children (particularly at the toddler and teenage stages) and stay sane. I think one really needs to take the l-o-n-g view -- that eventually they'll turn into lovely, wonderful adults and that will be awesome. It happened / is happening with many of my nieces and nephews and friends' kids. But that's probably little comfort when a kid is giving you attitude now and you fantasize about escaping your life.

So I'm definitely not one to give parenting advice. I do know something about overindulging as escapism, though -- in my case gorging myself on sweets and fatty foods and other crap after my parents died. Eventually what happened was they were still gone but I was also 14 lbs heavier and objectively that seemed like a pretty stupid thing to do. But at the time, I was so angry and bereft that NO ONE WAS GOING TO TELL ME I COULDN'T EAT WHATEVER I WANTED.

That's a really really strong impulse. It helped when my doctor told me that eating healthy wasn't deprivation, it's a kindness to myself. The flip side of that is that eating a lot of junk wasn't really treating myself. So I started to pay careful attention to how I felt while and after I was eating that stuff. Not judging, just observing honestly.

And if I was honest with myself, after a reasonable amount, overindulging wasn't really fun. And how I felt afterwards definitely wasn't.

NoS was the final piece in the puzzle for me. Maybe it's worth trying the NoS rules with wine - only have it on S days? That structure has really helped me deal with overindulging on sweets and snacks. It's a reasonably good balance for me between sweets abstinence (which isn't going to work long term) and having too much. It took months, but I now seem to at least sometimes naturally moderate how much food I eat on S days.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:29 pm

Thank you Sharon and Octavia.
Sharon - so many similarities between these pseudo-self-care overindulges, aren't there? Im going to reread your post and the others when i get home to my laptop tomorrow. Me and my phone aren't good at long typing.
I feel like I'll have lots to think about.
Christmas day - major SDay
Sausage egg&bread casserole - seconds
Breakfast roll - seconds
Coffee with milk
1 cookie
1 Clementine

Ham - seconds
Scalloped potatoes - seconds
Raspberry jello - seconds

4 sugar cookies
2 glasses of wine
2 egg nog/whiskey drinks

No surprise fasting blood glucose was 98 this morning

No exercise or spending yesterday. I didn't read to creator either

We had a great day! Today going to movies with lots of kids
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Dec 27, 2018 8:21 pm

Wed
B: Coffee with milk, 2 breakfast rolls, eggs & bacon
L: Sugar cookie, ham & scalloped potatoes
Movie popcorn & diet coke
D: chicken tortilla casserole & raspberry jello
Dessert: sugar cookies
4 glasses of wine! Last night - we lived it up pretty good.
My sister in law & I had a great time chatting. We realized after 20 years that both of us always thought we were the sister in law that didn't fit in. Haha
On road headed home.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:00 am

OK, I'm home!!! Thanks again to all that supported me when I had my alcohol-break-down. I'm still sorting through things and trying to consider good ways to moderate without over-restricting and causing rebellion.

Thursday - Dec. 27th

B: bacon & eggs, coffee w/milk
during drive: diet coke
L: 1 chicken nugget, maybe a couple ounces of fancy cheese (I think it's a super sharp aged cheddar)
D: yogurt w/berries
2 glasses of wine
128 ounces water

Moving
nope - although I did have a good walk yesterday that I didn't log, so overall it was a decent amount of exercise compared to my usual during visiting relatives

Spending
nothing today, yesterday I had to pick up a few things at Trader Joe's again, and then movie popcorn

Reading
not last night, and tonight I just want to veg and go to bed early. We stayed up so late last night. Kids too! Well, lol, I was in bed by 11:30, but for this girl, that is so late! :wink:

I got some great presents this year - pretty scarves, LEG WARMERS(!), wireless headphones for my morning walk/jogs.

So so tired tonight!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:43 pm

Friday, Dec. 28th

127.9 (wow, I must be dehydrated because I was expecting a much higher number. maybe it will hit tomorrow once I've rehydrated after traveling.)

Fasting Blood Glucose: 84

Eating
B: coffee w/milk
L: grilled burgers w/ cheese, bacon, guacamole, onion, tomato
D: yogurt and berries for me, kids will be trickier (grilled cheese sandwiches). Challenger13 has a bball game at 5:45.
2 glasses of wine

Moving
(will be) Clean house

Spending
Local Grocery - $47 - yogurt, onion, tomatoes, bread, hamburger buns, chocolate milk, regular milk, pastured eggs
Costco planned - $87 - salad, mushrooms, avocados, steak, salmon burgers, deodorant, sliced cheese

Reading
Maybe? I'm feeling super tired and not motivated for much of anything, and craving a break from Creator9's constant stream of chatter (which requires lots of responses, not just nods...he asks so many questions! LOL, wonder where he gets that from). When I read that Linda's kids are with grandma for a bit, I was like, ..... oooooh, jealous. Having family to take kids is perfect, because it's good for the kids and it's good for the parents (and grandparents). We visited grandparents Thanksgiving and Christmas (different sets) and since I was there, it's not a break. I need to work on the drop-them-off technique.

Found a little dog on Petfinder that I want. :-) 14 pounds, somehow a tiny australian cattle dog - says she's good with cats (they even have a pic of her curled up with one), dogs, and kids. She's almost 2. Sexy does not want another animal.......
Last edited by automatedeating on Sat Dec 29, 2018 4:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:21 pm

It's great for kids to grow up with pets but they are trying. Love our border collie but he's ageing now!

I wanted him, hubby didn't, difficult

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Imogen Morley
Posts: 1022
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:11 pm

Post by Imogen Morley » Sat Dec 29, 2018 8:43 pm

Bluetooth headphones FTW! I got a pair on my birthday at the beginning of December, and I just can't live without them. We also have two more things in common right now: I didn't have any time to properly sit at the Christmas table either since I was chasing after N all the time, aaaaaand we're almost at the same weight 8)

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:11 pm

Imogen - I super love my headphones too! :-) I've been listening to books and DietDoctor podcasts in the morning, and I'm recovering my own intellectual pursuit joy. :-) That said, um, when my kids were little like yours, that was NOT happening, haha. I couldn't even go on a walk without having to bring them, and they were never happy for long in the stroller.

Saturday

S Day

127.5

Eating
B: latte & egg bites from Starbucks
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
D: yogurt w/ berries
2 glasses of wine

Moving
2 separate walk/jogs at Challenger13's basketball tournament. I didn't expect this of myself, because it's an S Day, but I actually felt a bit energetic and wanted to listen to more of the podcast between Dave Feldman and Ivor Cummins about all-things-cholesterol. And I get pretty antsy sitting around between basketball games. Heading out to the Semi-Finals this afternoon. Challenger's team has improved since last year.
Then for fun while we had to work in the Concessions stand Creator and I did "pistol squats". Yeah. Try 'em. 8)

Spending
Starbuck's in the morning for breakfast - then about $6 for snacks for boys at the games. Oh, and then Sexy picked up a Costco pizza for dinner.

ReadingtoCreator
Nah....

Sunday, December 30th

127.0

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: tri-tip steak & mushrooms & caesar salad - fantastic meal, but I ended up overdoing it with the steak and with some tortilla chips & guacamole while I waited for the steak to finish. I'm a teensy bit bummed, because overall this was shaping up as a great S Day. But hey - it IS an S Day, so at least it was all delicious and I enjoyed every bite.
2 glasses of wine
dessert: 4 pieces of Halloween candy

Moving
walk/jog in the woods with HappyHerder. Then did pull-ups and chin-ups and bear walk and some shoulder stretches (from my Elements program). Sore from those pistol squats!

Spending
No plans. I really hope we don't spend money at the tournament tonight.

Reading
We won't be home until late, so no.
Last edited by automatedeating on Mon Dec 31, 2018 2:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

ladybird30
Posts: 530
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 10:41 pm

Post by ladybird30 » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:25 am

I can only dream about being able to do a pistol squat. Maybe one day....
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

sharon227
Posts: 267
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Post by sharon227 » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:37 am

So I just looked up pistol squats. It seems unlikely I'll be adding them to my workout routine anytime soon! (reverse lunges are enough for me at the moment).

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:51 pm

Bwahahaha you guys - pistol squats! Creator and I were just fooling around doing them and we had to hang on to a beam for balance. But still -- just fooling around can be exercise, apparently. :-)

Reflection on 2018:
Last December, I really kicked it into a higher gear with my diet. I decided I was done with sugar/processed foods (on N Days, that is). In hindsight, that was a very nice intro to the more strict approach I began to implement in July/August. I also think I sort of went off the rails (I'd need to check my journal) between March and June. But overall, I went from a sort of unformed "Why?" to an extremely well-formed "Why?" this year.

For me, it's all about blood sugar control and kidney stone avoidance for myself and for my kids. And I care about both of those things because blood sugar is really the main thing that tracks best with cardiovascular disease AND cancer. I care about kidney stones NOT just because I want to avoid the pain, but because my stone formation has damaged my kidneys a little bit and I want to avoid further damage. And, this "relates" strongly to my kids (pun intended) because both my predisposition to diabetes and my formation of kidney stones are strongly hereditary.

Victories include more than weight loss this year, so much more, in fact:
1) Weight loss: I think I lost almost 15 pounds this year. My high was 147 :shock: for a bit but my typical hover-point has been 142/143. As I've said many times, Vanilla NoS keeps me from gaining, but I had to change my meals (within the framework of NoS, which I adore) to lose weight.
2) Exercise: I finally found a good groove with my morning walk/jogs. I love them, HappyHerder loves them, my Audible subscription loves them, my new wireless headphones love them. :-)
3) Stress Reduction: This is a biggie, and not entirely from things I did on purpose. My stint as Division Chair finally ended in June. Is it a coincidence that I started eating much healthier and exercising more since then? I don't think so! I guess the take-away is that when I DO have choices about adding stress (or not), choose the NOT. :wink: Some conscious choices made to help reduce stress include - putting kids in school (no homeschooling this year), not checking email (much) after I get home from work and for almost all day on Sunday, and saying no to any work obligations that were not required -- including the motto this year of "There is No Meeting Worth Attending". I haven't gotten out of every meeting with this motto (indeed, I've even had a couple productive ones) but I HAVE gotten out of a remarkable number. I even am perfecting the email that says something along the lines of, "I trust that those in attendance will represent my opinions well and I will support the committee's decision". :twisted: That's the best.
4) Good sleep year - I became almost obsessive about getting in bed by 9pm. Up at 6am, even on weekends. I like this routine.
5) Survived a year of puberty-laden Challenger. :-) I'm going to count that. I shed MANY tears and Sexy & I had many late night discussions about how to raise this strong-willed, beautiful, and talented child. We make continual mistakes (and many of you know I feel that I'm sort of in the bottom tier of parents skill-wise), so I hesitated listing this, but then I realize I do feel some pride and sense of accomplishment that for each push against us Challenger made - Sexy and I (eventually) find a push-back that we feel is firm, fair, and yet still loving. We know the road is long (oh don't we ever know that), but we will keep putting one foot in front of another.
6) Finances! Another year of YNAB. Love it, can't imagine my budget without it. We didn't get ahead this year, since we put the kids in a more expensive private school, and the costs of their activities seems to continually balloon, but we are spending much less on groceries and household than we have in years.
7) Meal-planning and shopping lists! I should have put this first! Last summer I began making a menu every week (in Google Keep), and then a shopping list based off of it (also in Google Keep). Each week I'd go to Costco and then the local grocery store, and then stick with that menu. Phenomenally successful, and I'm still scratching my head as to what made it work so well and this long. It's certainly not the first attempt I've made over the years. I THINK my previous subscriptions to the box meal companies (Home Chef was a our main one) actually gave me confidence and reasonable skills to not feel completely overwhelmed at making a meal (thank you Home Chef!). Also, now that I use just very simple ingredients, I really just have to know how to do simple things with meat or vegetables. No fancy sauces. Meat and veggies taste pretty good all on their own or doused in butter. Dinner usually only takes 30 minutes to fix. Sexy does all dishes so I'm done once dinner is served.

OK, I think that mostly covers 2018.

2019 goals
1) Mobility: My biggest (new) goal this year is to keep my body mobile. I'm doing this with regular walk/jogs, but this year I want to add in more bodyweight and mobility work (see Elements GMB if you're curious what I mean about this). I want to see if I can reverse some nagging joint pain and recover the more fluid movement of my 20's. Seeing my mom suffer from joint pain (both hips replaced, total knee replacement, both feet surgeries, rotator cuff surgery, carpal tunnel surgery), and my mother-in-law (a similar litany of surgeries) inspires me to take care of myself better AND to help my kids, since they have inherited these tendencies from both sides of the family.

2) Peace with alcohol: Because this is such a challenge for me, I am not making any kind of a resolution for the year. Rather, I will take this one week at a time. I am a little frustrated with the amount of TIME I spend worrying about this issue. Like, enough already! I've got a life to live and lots to do. So, I'm trying something that feels a little risky, but I'm hoping I've gotten myself to that point where I am sick of being on the fence with this. I've decided.....drum roll...... to set up a drinking plan that is IDEAL. That's right. You heard me right. Why bother trying to reduce or quit entirely when I feel that I know what is probably healthiest long-term? Aim for the stars, Auto!!! LOL, and hopefully I will not crash & burn on the way down. So, what do I consider healthiest? 7 drinks per week, with days off. So. Friday and Sunday - 2 or 3 drinks allowed. One weekday (date night) 2 more drinks allowed. This makes Saturday always alcohol free, and probably Monday. Date night moves around. S Days will be allowed for special occasions, which I can plan for weekly when I make my menu. LOL, seeing as TODAY is Monday (New Year's Eve), I am starting my plan on an S Day. I find this poetically fitting, seeing as I almost always started NoS or my other systems on S Days. :lol:
Whatever happens, I'll be recording alcohol intake on this thread to keep myself honest. Wish me luck on this one.

3) Saving to buy a car: Financially, we'd like to save $10,000 to replace my old Corolla with a newer version. I have $2000 saved so far. I'm also trying to save toward $3000 for a California visit next Christmas, but that is a lower goal than the car one.

Monday, December 31st!

126.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 76 8)
Morning Blood Pressure: 112/72 8)

I have this entire week off from school and I am just super excited to clean my house and work on some other projects.
One health project will be a formal testing of some of my standard meals and their effects on my blood glucose. Today I will test my yogurt & berries meal and then my beef bowl meal (both staples currently).
Update: before meal = 90; 1 hour post = 95; 2 hours post = 110; 3 hours post = 90
I'd say that meal is very blood glucose-friendly and will happily remain in the rotation.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, eggs & bacon
L: yogurt w/berries: will test blood glucose baseline, and then 1, 2, and 3 hours after the meal
D: New Year's Eve: some steak bites left over from yesterday, copious amounts of three cheese jalapeno dip with tortilla chips, equivalent of small bag of reese's pieces + a few squares of a chocolate bar
3 glasses of wine - I could have had plenty more, so count this a victory, actually.

As an aside, my WORST glucose spikes (in the 160's) occur after any type of pasta, which is why I don't have it anymore. Spaghetti, fettuccine. Oh, and also after McDonald's, which I suspect is a combo factor of the sugary buns they use + the french fries. It would be interesting to test after only the burger and bun if I were to skip the fries. But my McDonald's days are in the past. My kids rarely even get to eat there anymore. I think I can count that as a 2018 victory. :-)

Moving
(Plan to) walk/jog with dog once it's light out. It's kind of a treat to get to walk in the light for a few days. Also I (will do) my Elements Program.
Update - no walk today. Put away all the holiday decorations instead, which turns into a mini-workout getting in and out of the garage in the freezing cold a zillion times. :roll: I did do part of the Elements program, but didn't do it completely.

Spending
No plans - Oh, I take that back. I might buy some sort of storage cabinet for the kitchen. Between Creator's clay projects, board games, and my paperwork, we need something in this room. Trying to keep most of it upstairs is just not realistic.

Reading
(will be) to read one chapter of Gregor. One of my goals this week is to finish Gregor #3. Update - stinking fail again! On the bright side, Creator and I did do a solar system mobile today and we did a cat puzzle together and we all played board games, so it doesn't feel as bad as some failed reading days.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 01, 2019 4:03 pm

January 1, 2019

128.3

fasting blood glucose: 90

Eating:
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: beef bowl w/onions, mushrooms, avocado slices, tomatoes, and cheese (quesadillas for kids)
No Alcohol Day -- SUCCESS

Moving
not sure what my plans are. I still need to put the tree away and do a lot of cleaning. Definitely want to do Elements Program but not sure about a walk/jog. Update - definitely did lots of Elements. Got the kids doing it with me: Bear into Frogger into Monkey. :-) Looks just like it sounds, fun little workouts that are more like playing than anything else. My goals are to "limberize" my shoulders, elbows, wrists, and hips. I'm officially ready to start Week 3 of the program (it's 8 weeks total).

Spending
No plans

Reading
Gregor planned! Wish me luck! -- SUCCESS! We read Chapter 24 and just have three more chapters left in the book.
Last edited by automatedeating on Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

TexArk
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Post by TexArk » Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:03 pm

OK, fellow tracker. ...What glucose monitor do you use? and do you ever check ketones?
24.7 bmi Feb. 2019
26.1 bmi Sept. 2018
31.4 bmi July 2017

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:29 pm

Hi Tex - I use the Ultra Touch 2. It is a cheap monitor but the strips are ridiculously expensive, like 1.25/strip. So, I'm going to switch to a new monitor. I think I'll just check around on Amazon and see which one has the cheapest strips.

I bought urine ketone strips (they are very cheap on Amazon!), but I haven't used them much and so far I've never tested positive for ketones. That's not currently a goal of mine but I have it in the back of my head that I might seasonally try to dip into ketosis for the benefits of autophagy and I'm a bit curious if my joint pain might improve.

Wednesday, January 2nd

127.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 88
Morning Blood Pressure: 111/66
Eating
B: coffee w/milk, maybe eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: date night - cheeseburger, salad, and 1 onion ring
if date night, alcohol allowed; otherwise, not - Update - I failed here. Yes, it was an alcohol allowed day; but my limit was supposed to be 2 or 3 and I had more like 5. :oops:
This is disturbing, because that is not typical for me at all. It reeks of a binge after restricting. I find it fascinating that my alcohol situation is so similar to what I read on these forums about sugar eating. Are they really so similar? If so, I guess the news is out: sugar addicts and alcohol addicts can understand what each other are going through. Anyway, very discouraging that I drank too much. I have a headache this morning and was awake for about an hour last night - I'm sure the alcohol disturbed my sleep.
OK, so obviously having some alcohol every day (like many on these boards decide to do to deal with the sugar binges) is NOT a safe strategy for alcohol. So. I guess I'll just view this was calm curiosity, try not to beat myself up, and mark it and move on. Trust me, I realize I may have to throw in the towel and become a tea-totaller, but I need to get there at my own pace.

Moving
(will be) Elements - yesterday's workout was so fun. I basically crawl around on the floor like a bear, a monkey, or a frog. Then I do transitions from one movement to the next and I feel very graceful and strong. Today I will be practicing a new move called "Bent Arm Bear" which focuses the crawl pressure more on the shoulders.
Also, (will probably be) walk/jog with HappyHerder, although I realize I'm focusing less on that on these days I'm home and wanting to clean.
Update - no formal Elements, definitely no walk with dog. Focused on cleaning and organizing all day.

Spending
Maybe date night, no other plans

Reading
Chapter 25 of Gregor is the goal - Update - no reading. Do you see a trend? Alcohol also typically means I don't read to my rapidly growing up sweet little boy.

Netflix has a new show called "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo". Warning - you will have the insatiable desire to organize your home after watching, and you will also find yourself shedding tears of joy with the families.
Last edited by automatedeating on Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

sharon227
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Post by sharon227 » Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:25 am

I read Marie Kondo's book and got inspired to start cleaning out my house. I went through a reasonable amount of clothes but never got to the other stuff. I do still fold up my clothing nicely before putting it in drawers, though. Would love to get back to it and get rid of the mountains of clutter in my house. I do think healthy living and uncluttered living space are related somehow. Sorry I don't have Netflix to watch the series!

Interesting what you wrote about having to change your meals even within vanilla NoS. I probably need to do that as well. I doubt I'll be able to lose much if I keep eating so many refined carbs.

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:58 pm

Excited to look at that series and maybe it’ll motivate me to deal with these closets! Did you come up with a good plan for managing alcohol? I decided to count how many dry days I have this month and then try to beat that each month till I’m down to at least more dry days then not.

Wishing you a happy 2019!!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
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automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:35 pm

Yeah, Sharon, the PAPER piles are the toughest for me, but somehow I pushed through yesterday and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. I did even go through Sexy's drawers (we normally handle all our own laundry) and fold everything her way - he was so delighted! :-)

Linda - Yes, I have a plan. But I had to update last night to describe my most recent failure. The plan is I can drink 2-3 drinks on Friday, Sunday, and date night (which moves around depending on the week). I successfully had a dry Tuesday but then last night for Date night I had 5 drinks. :? That has not typically been a problem of mine so it raised all kinds of questions for me.

Thursday, January 3rd

127.1
Fasting Blood Glucose: 79
Morning Blood Pressure: 108/60

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, avocado on toast
L: yogurt w/berries
Snack: very hungry for some reason so had a glass of milk
still hungry and tired so had another mug of milky coffee
D: leftover steak salad, leftover cheese dip with tortilla chips
No Alcohol Day

Moving
*Finish up collecting yard debris from the backyard (which is very small, so this is a short project).
*Collect all holiday garbage and recycling in preparation for garbage day. Clean out garage (bummer that it is rainy today; I should have done this yesterday). Oh, well.
*Elements - Bent-arm Bear
*One short jog around block w/ HappyHerder just to say I did. ;-)
Update - sheesh I was very low-key. Read books all day (about drinking and addiction, in case you are curious....) and took a bath. Think I needed a bit of self-care and private reflection time.

Spending
No plans

Reading
Chapter 25 in Gregor, also want to do a science kit with Creator today.

I have a good method to avoid alcohol. #1 - I am going to volunteer for almost all of the late night sport pick ups. By staying out of the house and on the move I will have no choice but to avoid drinking. Tonight I am doing the 8:30 pickup.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:50 pm

Friday, January 4th

127.2
Fasting Blood Glucose: 82
Morning Blood Pressure: 106/73

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 2 eggs, 1/2 piece of avocado on toast
L: yogurt w/ berries
D: hot dog w/ onions & cheese
Alcohol Allowed - 2 drink max
Update - ergh had 3 drinks. Been reading lots and I'm getting onboard a program called "Moderation Management". Sounds like it fits with my current goals and they have an online support system. I will be looking into this.

Moving
Unlike the last couple of days, I don't even feel reasonably interested in exercise. I find myself withdrawing from activity as the quarter start approaches. Today is technically a work day, but I will just be working from home. Monday looms. I have dearly enjoyed my vacation and I think my home, family, and pets have enjoyed my nearly undivided attention. :-)

Spending
Costco and local grocery sort of planned. I feel so lazy I might put it off until tomorrow.
Update - $93 at Costco and $53 at local grocery. Been buying more at local grocery, where they have pasture-raised eggs (oh the glorious perky tall orange yolks!), and local grass-fed yogurts.

Reading
Gregor still planned. Another fail last night. I got so engrossed reading my own book that I didn't read to Creator.

We have the option of taking in an older dog (she is 5), another Aussie like HappyHerder. I met her yesterday. She has adorable puppies and she'll be ready for a home in a couple of weeks. Sounds like she has mostly lived in a kennel and she only now is learning potty-training. She is very sweet, good with kids, quite calm & quiet. Not sure how she is with cats. She seems like she would bond very tightly with me, which actually gives me pause. I'd hope for a dog that bonds with the kids as well, but that just doesn't seem to be a normal thing. Most of the dogs I know are bonded to the momma of the house, for probably obvious reasons. Maybe in the old days the kids were the primary caregivers of pets, haha.

OK, back to my reading. It's called "Drinking: A Love Story". It's an old book from the '90's about about a woman's alcoholism and eventual recovery.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:31 am, edited 3 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Imogen Morley
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Post by Imogen Morley » Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:44 pm

My friend runs a foster home for cats, and I have two of my own. I've never ever seen a cat bonding with a kid, even the sweetest and nicest one. I don't have any experience with dogs, though. Our older cat adores my husband, loves me, stays away from N. Our younger one adores me, likes my husband, and tolerates N. We used to say N needs a cat for herself... after reading your entry I'm not so sure anymore.

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 05, 2019 5:10 am

Glad you took a little time for yourself. I really love taking a bath while reading. How are liking the books?
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









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automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:17 pm

Liking the books, Linda. :-) And I have joined a new forum called Moderation Management. I also just shelled out $34 for an app called "Drinker's Check-Up". I may also separate drinking out into its own category of tracking this year.

Saturday, Jan 5

S Day

126.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 89
Morning Blood Pressure & Pulse: 109/72 - 70

Eating
B: coffee w/ milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
snack: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert 1: handful of reece's pieces & 3 pieces of chocolate (that I had put in the freezer since New Year's Eve!). I put them back in the freezer and the fam and I can finish them tomorrow.
D:pizza during Seahawk Playoff Game
feeling a teensy bit - rovey - about wanting food. I think it's because normally I would have a glass of wine right now. How disordered is that? Apparently I have been using alcohol as a way to avoid eating.... yeeks!
dessert 2: bowl of vanilla ice cream
dessert 3: reese's pieces (got them BACK out of the freezer) :wink:
Yep, a bit of a wild S Day.

Drinking
Abstinence Day
I joined a forum on Moderation Management. I signed in as automatedeating, which I think makes perfect sense but the other posters may raise their eyebrows. :-) For the most part I'll be tracking here, but I'd like to read posts on their forum. I spent a couple hours taking various assessments to see where I'm at on the drinking spectrum. It was pretty eye-opening to see how much more I drink than other women my age.
So. My game plan will use NoS principles:
--4 N Days (Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday)
--3 S Days (Friday, Sunday, Wednesday (Date Night))
Limit on S Days 2-3 drinks
Methods to stay Green on N Days include getting out of the house or getting out of the kitchen/living room.
*Volunteer for all late night kid pick ups
*Go on "Night-Walker" with dog and maybe kid or two at about 7:30pm
*Head upstairs to read or take a bath about 8pm.
*Do shopping errands on weeknights instead of weekends
*Have a "library night" where I just hang out by myself at the library for an hour.
*Foster a hobby. This is a hard one but I think it could be the missing piece.

Actually, I think a large piece of the puzzle is that I am a cerebral introvert that needs LARGE chunks of time alone to explore, process, and prepare to interact. Such LARGE chunks of time that the need physically cannot be met due to my current life obligations. However, my kids are getting bigger, and I think I'm to the point where it will be better for them if I take care of my needs (at least mostly) rather than stay home with them but not really "be" there for them. I know it's never as black-and-white as that, and more of teeter-totter of quality vs. quantity of time, but at this point I'm ready to try leaving them more, sort of like a momma dog that is trying to wean her puppies. :lol:

I have spent a lot of time contemplating why I like to drink, and what my triggers are. I have a long list of situations and reasons, but I think it boils down to one main reason -

#1 it allows me to "numb out" or "get through" situations that I don't like, whether due to boredom or anger.

I need to explore this a bit more, but I also think that drinking is inextricably tied to my marriage. Because when I am frustrated with my husband's passivity on so many levels, drinking "numbs me out" or "gets me through" the situation without yelling at him or considering the situation infuriating.

In summary, I deal with the boredom of kid events (think concerts and birthday parties), the boredom of social outings (think double dates or parties), the annoyance of interacting with my kids, the annoyance of interacting with my husband - I deal with all of that by having wine. So. Yikes.
If I were to be honest and say no to all these activities, how would that change my life and my marriage? I would be the biggest homebody ever. And, how would it affect my marriage if I expressed more of my frustrations at my husband's passivity? How ironic if I stopped drinking so much and ended up divorced. What would my kids think if I was gone more often?

So many questions. No easy answers. But I think I have a nice project for data collection and careful observation of my own craziness for 2019. :roll:

Moving
No plans
actually, ended up taking a short walk to Creator's basketball game, since the game was nearby

Spending
$34 on a drinker's check-up app (put my $ where my mouth is) - I also signed up for Moderation Management, an online drinking control forum. I can't see myself having two separate online journals, though, so I think I'll just read over there for inspiration and motivation.

Reading
Chapter 26 of Gregor tonight is the goal.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sun Jan 06, 2019 3:02 am, edited 2 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 1:50 am

I think divorce, drinking, or yelling are NOT your only options. :wink:

I, too, am on the introvert spectrum and don't know how I would have managed with kids. I'll bet you'll find a way that doesn't do irreparable damage to either side.

In any case, here's to 2019. I guess I can still say that until the end of the weekend.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

ladybird30
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Post by ladybird30 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 3:45 am

Another cerebral introvert here. I know intellectually that other people enjoy noisy get togethers where they stand around and yell at each other, but really I just don't get it. I mostly get my socialising doing outdoor activities with other people, as well as being on committees where I have a defined role and can interact on that level. I most enjoy time with small groups of friends that I have known for a long time.

During times in my life when I have been under a lot of stress, and comfort eating wasn't an option, I used to escape by going for walks by myself.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Soprano
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Post by Soprano » Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:18 am

I admire how you are willing to tackle your drinking. Take it slowly whilst you form new habits. Abstinence days are good and filling those days with things that mean you can't drink is a good move.

I sometimes think we drink too much. Generally I wouldn't drink Mon to Thursday but some meals I cook cry out for a glass of a wine. Mostly I wouldn't bother but my oh says oh shall we have a glass of wine with this.......

I am going to try and limit those sort of meals in the week.

It's important to make time for you, you'll be a better wife and mother for it. Make the changes slowly and family won't notice. And you are right, kids need less time as they get older.

Good luck, and next week I hope will be my first no drink Mon - Thurs, let's support each other :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 06, 2019 3:10 pm

Oolala - yes, we shall hope that such a cerebral problem-solver as myself can come up with some better solutions for dealing with my anger and boredom, yes? :P

Ladybird - your description of the interactions with people that you enjoy pretty much matches mine exactly. Maybe that's why I get all so excited about your "group walks" that I find so impressive! I think my morning walks with HappyHerder are key to having time alone that "recharges" me.

Soprano - thank you for your support! I like how you discussed that I need to form new habits. Even though alcohol over-drinking is kind of taboo/stigma to chat about openly, the truth is that change regarding it is no different than tackling overeating. Habit building and consistency. And tracking successes and failures.

Aside and my personal opinions here regarding sweets and alcohol:

I have come to believe that what I will call "regular" overeating (mindless snacking like I did pre-No-S, seconds, sweets) can be tackled successfully with NoS. What I will call my "regular" overdrinking (having too much wine daily) will hopefully fall into suit with NoS principles. Granted, it took me FIVE years to feel really confident about NoS with food. So, it could be a bumpy road.

Then there is "compulsive" over"sweeting" and compulsive over"drinking". Both of these situations prove to be far more difficult to tackle on one's own and to moderate with something as gentle as NoS. Just as a compulsive over"drinker" can't have a couple of drinks on a Friday night and then get back to abstinence the next day, neither can a compulsive over"sweeter" have cake on Sunday night at a birthday party and then avoid sweets all week. The decision I see from people to completely give up sweets (not even having them on S Days) reflects this uncomfortable reality. I applaud this effort, the same as for compulsive over"drinkers" that give up alcohol entirely. I may end up having to do that. With sweets, I was a "regular" over"sweeter" and NoS accommodates me perfectly. I am now in this trial time of facing up to if/how I can moderate my alcohol with purposeful tracking. If I fail, and fail, and fail, I might wisely ended up quitting for good. But just like someone that has to give up sweets forever truly has to give up something that can be "sweet" in this life (enjoying the taste of sugar without guilt), I think it's understandable and reasonable that I would try to explore moderation before quitting alcohol forever.

One other last foray into the similarities of over"sweeting" and overdrinking: on these boards, I often see over"sweeters" choose a mod of having a sweet every day. This seems to work for some of them, although it's always a mod I raise my eyebrows at and squirm a little. Believe it or not, that works for my overdrinking, too, I think. From my personal experience, if I have a glass of wine every day, I am less likely to have a day where I have 3 glasses. So my moderation plan presents a challenge in which abstinence days make the drinking days trickier to moderate! But it is clear in our society (I think, anyway) that drinking EVERY day is not a path to a great life (haha). What is NOT clear in our society is if having sweets every day is a good life plan. Maybe, just like alcohol, it depends on the individual. Those predisposed to diabetes (or those that have it) should NOT be having sweets every single day. Similarly, those predisposed to alcoholism should NOT be drinking every day. Uh-oh, this presents a thought question for all of you over"sweeters": social/healthy pattern drinkers would never think to have a drink every day; likewise, should those that don't have a problem with sweets even consider the need to have a sweet every day?

OK, on to my day. And oh the glorious morning quiet.

Sunday, Jan 6

128.8 (up 2 pounds from yesterday's emotional eating)

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, maybe eggs
L: nachos w/ guac & cheese
D:grilled burgers w/ avocado, cheese, onion, tomato, bacon
dessert: (will be) vanilla ice cream

Drinking
S Day - 2 drink max. Methods to avoid a third glass include a "drinking" window - between 5pm and 7:30pm, tracking the glasses on my chart - having a glass of water in between the two glasses.....waiting at least 1 hour between drinks.

Moving
I might walk to church this morning. Well, I ended up walk/jogging with HappyHerder for a half hour and then also decided to walk home from church. Then I did quite a bit of my Elements program (bear, frogger & monkey!)

Spending
I guess I'll be buying a bottle of wine. This is kind of embarrassing to have all this so out in the open for everyone. Isn't it funny how I even try to protect an online anonymous reputation? Humans. We are funny.

Reading
We finished Gregor last night! So next up is one of the following - Harry Potter #5, Incorrigible Children #2, Gregor #4, Hobbit (I always put in the plug for this one but usually get voted down), maybe some others will come up. We could also take a break from a formal novel and read from our Mythology or Troll books. Those collections have great illustrations and mythology is just straight-up wildly fun.
Last edited by automatedeating on Mon Jan 07, 2019 2:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

sharon227
Posts: 267
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Post by sharon227 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:13 pm

I'm so happy for you that you are examining your drinking to figure out what will ultimately be best for you.

I have a big issue with sweets. And although there is some debate in the scientific literature as to whether sugar is "addictive," researchers have definitely shown that sugar lights up the same area in the brain as cocaine does (just not as strong).

There was a time at work where I was having 2 and 3 "fun-size" bags of M&Ms each afternoon. And that's just not healthy for a lot of reasons - sugar, saturated fat, extra calories. 2 or 3 glasses of wine a day sounds kind of the same to me - a lot of extra, nutritionally-almost-empty calories in the week, apart from issues of whether that's a healthy amount specifically for alcohol.

A few thoughts on my years of dealing with overconsuming sweets:

There are different types of sweets for me. Some always trigger overeating. Others only trigger overeating when I'm otherwise not eating moderately. I think the issue isn't only "sugar" but the combination of sugar and other ingredients (and whether something is highly processed and engineered to make it addictive). I think snacking on corn-syrup-laden junk food is particularly a problem as opposed to having a high-quality sweet with a meal in part because of how my body reacts to the junk alone without other moderating foods.

I'm no expert on alcohol, but my guess is that drinking a glass of wine with a complete healthy meal will be different than having a couple of glasses of wine at a bar without accompanying food.

The few times I did the 2-week South Beach Diet Phase One (no carbs), it did what was advertised -- reset my body so that healthy carbs like fruits tasted sweeter, and some things I liked when out of control tasted too sweet. I think the 5-in-a-row NoS no sweets days each week do something similar for me. Having that block of days without sweets is helping me moderate my sweets consumption on S Days (which may be one reason why my 2 straight weeks of holidays made things a bit tougher) because my blood sugar is more stable instead of spiking and dropping throughout the week. I don't know if you want to think about trying a 2-week no alcohol reset or really sticking to only having alcohol on S days (although I know that makes a problem for date nights.)

I believe meditation is helping me with NoS. I only meditate for 3 minutes most mornings when I wake up. That might not be possible if you have kids, but it might be worth trying. 3 minutes a day isn't that much of a commitment. In fact, it may sound silly, and it certainly isn't going to be my path to enlightenment, but I'm just not up to doing 15 or 20 minutes right now. And 3 minutes is better than no minutes.

What those 3 minutes a day are doing over the long run, though, is strengthening my ability to examine my thoughts more objectively. When I start getting myself riled up, sometimes I can say "Oh, that's a thought, let it go." That's not going to help with deep fundamental unhappiness about your life. It does help me with some less important things, though, like when I'm trying to work and the phone rings for the 17th time with a junk call and I feel like throwing the phone against the wall.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 07, 2019 2:43 am

Oh, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts, Sharon! I really appreciate it!

I definitely also experience trigger foods as certain combos of delicious ingredients, and processed ingredients do it the worst (sort of with the theory of highly palatable foods being the ones we eat without stopping).

Definitely taking time off from alcohol is always good, and I did take September off. Indeed, at this point I am confident that I can take a month off if I decide to, and I guess I've chosen the harder option! I'm ready to see if keeping careful track of my green and red days can work for my alcohol moderation. I guess I wanted to jump right in to the test.

I really love your encouragement about meditation. And 3 minutes is an honest start! I have a hankering to get some "guided" meditations because the pure silence thing is pretty hard for me. I really hope you keep up (and even increase) your meditation times this year - they sound so helpful.

And then in the spirit of intellectual honesty - although it was peripheral in your overall post, I must admit to you here that I am of the minority that is convinced animal fat (and its higher proportion of saturated fat) is not only not a bad thing, but incredibly nutritious when part of a whole foods diet. Whether it's dairy or meat or eggs, my research has convinced me that I am better off eating these things than avoiding them. Just being honest, like I said, I know I am in the minority at this point.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

jenji
Posts: 582
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Post by jenji » Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:48 pm

automatedeating wrote:Saturday, Dec. 22

S Day!

127.8

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert: piece of leftover Costco birthday cake
D: tortilla chips, cheese, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream
Alcohol: 2 glasses of wine

Moving
nothing

Spending
Local grocery - refried beans, pastured eggs, english muffins

Reading
nothing last night

Warning - alcohol ramble coming -
I'm sorry that you all have to see my constant alcohol struggle. :?
Apologies in advance if this is all TMI - please skip if this is stressful or disgusting for you to read.....

But I think it's important for me to document it. I started a dry December and it's been a complete failure. I did a pretty good dry September and the first half of August, so I think I just picked a particularly bad time of year with December.

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. I think my sister is an alcoholic. My dad never drinks, my mom is very light in her drinking (although she has spoken of alcoholics on her side of the family). My other sister rarely drinks and seems to have no attraction to it. I've considered complete abstinence (lots of times), and I've considered MANY ways to moderate, and tried quite a few methods (I always fail). I was feeling mightily discouraged about ever being able to moderate. I was reading quite a bit yesterday about the efforts to moderate drinking. I guess it's not that common to fail, and then eventually some people decide to give it up forever. Others succeed at finding that moderation.

Here are the moderation efforts I have made:
*buy a certain amount at the start of the week and don't buy anymore when that's gone. Probable causes of failure - My husband will often bring home some and then I can't resist; or I buy some because I feel it justifies a particularly hard day.
*Picking certain days that are alcohol-free. Probable cause of failure - justification of extra day needed because I deserve to have a break

Here are some successes (however minimal they may be):
*I very rarely get drunk or feel that I had too much to drink. I'm quite good at sensing when I feel mildly relaxed and then stopping. The desire to avoid any bad feelings associated with alcohol is very good at stopping me from drinking too much.
*My moderation efforts at least successfully curt-tail steady, daily drinking. Even though I feel like a failure, these efforts keep me from sliding straight into alcoholism.
*I successfully have 1 or 2 dry months every year. I've done 40 days multiple times as well.

Here's what I like about drinking (red wine is my preference):
1. It relaxes me and sometimes helps me warm up a little
2. It is pleasurable tasting
3. My gut feeling is that it's potentially healthy for me, particularly cardiovascular health.
4. It keeps me from snacking in the evening, because it is like a special treat for me.
5. update/edit after this stream of consciousness entry -- it provides escape from the life that I feel trapped in. :shock:

What I don't like about my drinking:
1. It is almost every night and takes concerted effort to take nights off.
2. It could encourage my kids to use alcohol for coping.
3. It is expensive.
4. I occasionally drink too much and don't feel good the next day
5. I definitely drink over the recommended govt. guidelines. And yes, I keep track.

What would it look like for me to be comfortable with my drinking?
*it would include days off every week
*it would mean drinking 7 drinks max per week

I think I need to consider how many more attempts at moderation I will allow myself before I decide I just won't drink at all anymore.

Also, I find that I'm usually pretty good at sticking to my commitments, etc. Something about alcohol use is different for me (apparently, based on my repeated failures). It's as though I don't really want to stop or even reduce my drinking. I think there's a little rebel inside of me that is damned determined it deserves to get a few moments to itself everyday. The alcohol is an escape from the grind of my life.

I think I've possibly discussed this elsewhere, but I wonder if my alcohol use is similar to sugar addicts or overeating issues. Oolala is always telling people they will only stop when the desire to avoid the bad stuff is greater than the desire to indulge right now. Well.....I am not convinced that avoiding alcohol is really better for me health-wise (I know that there is evidence both ways, but sometimes these convictions are not really about data, you know what I mean???). Maybe that's not rational, but I'm not scared enough about alcohol consequences. So I have this very obvious internal struggle going on.

Yesterday I was contemplating that I do much better as a mom when I don't drink. I wondered if that would/could be the inspiration I need to make long-lasting improvements in my drinking. Update/edit upon rereading -- that's the whole problem!!! I think I'm already trying as hard as I can as a parent, and the alcohol is what I turn to when I can't take another second of domesticity.

I think that drinking is a way for me to escape the burdens and obligations of parenthood. It's like I don't have better coping skills. And I feel kind of angry imagining the suggestions people might give me -- go for a walk - take a bath - read a book - listen to music - run errands - do a craft - call a friend - clean the house - eat ice cream. None of these seem like adequate replacements. I really think there are so many things about raising kids that I just don't like and wish I didn't have to do. The constant discipline that Challenger13 requires wears out my last ATP molecule. And the nurturing that Creator9 needs sucks out my last generosity drip. Deep down, I'm super selfish and don't want to serve others. I like to do my own thing. The drudgery of life weighs down on me. There's always so much to do. I think I resent that I have so much to do. Uh-oh. Maybe that means deep down I'm super LAZY. Lazy and selfish, sounds delightful. How do healthy, non-drinking people cope with the stresses of life? My sister-in-law is raising 6 kids and she never drinks. I honestly get skin-crawly thinking about having to live her life. I'm sorry everyone. I sound terrible and probably you are thinking I never should have had children (go ahead and think it - I think it all the time....)

Is marijuana the new acceptable "escape" drug? Maybe I could stop drinking and use that instead. :-)
For a VERY short time, I had a Xanax prescription (Fall 2016). I've got to say, those pills were the best! That's the feeling I love, and I can totally see how I'm seeking that with alcohol. They even work on the same brain receptors.
Being a good parent is a drain. I only have one child, partly because as a single (divorced) mom there was no way I could have handled one more child, financially or emotionally. I still feel drained often with working and meeting her needs. When the demands come from all sides, it's hard not to be resentful. However, it is good to remind ourselves that parenting challenges, for most of us, will taper off in time. They are very different as our kids grow up, at least. So there is potential relief from the effort, down the road.

I don't have a good answer, but it seems as though you are thinking about the right things. Is the drinking worth it? Does drinking affect the kind of person I am or want to be? Is there anything else that could relieve the pressure of parenting that would be more healthy? Good luck with your moderation efforts.
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 175#, BMI 27.1 - 08/01/2019

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:57 pm

Thank you for the empathy and support, Jen.

I do feel I am in a stronger place on this issue now, and I really am glad that Christmas holiday from teaching gave me the space to contemplate my needs and my overindulgences.

Newest revelation is that - oh, right - alcohol masks my anger at my husband.... ugh. not good when that mask is taken away and there aren't healthy conflict-resolution skills in place.

And, this is awful too - my hubby is not drinking either on my abs days, and I'd forgotten what a crank-pot he is to be around. He's one of those uptight people that's easier to be around when he has a beer. I know, I know, it's horrible and that makes me an enabler. Pandora's box of 2019, opened!

Monday, January 7

128.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, packed scrambled eggs to reheat when I'm actually hungry (will this in any way shape or form work? Well, I am an experimenter, we shall see)
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) beef bowl w/salad

Drinking
Abs Day

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
(will do) Elements this evening

Spending
No plans

Reading
last night read some Greek Mythology - maybe continue that tonight.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Imogen Morley
Posts: 1022
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:11 pm

Post by Imogen Morley » Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:43 pm

Auto, I can only offer my sympathy. This weekend was emotionally tough for me precisely for the reasons you described, and I could have written your earlier post about the parenting challenges. I know how much it sucks when you need to recharge and don't have any time nor opportunity to do so. I like people in extremely small quantities, and having someone literally glued to you all the time is sometimes a living hell. I'm also territorial, and I'd gladly kick out P and N from the house just to have a couple of days alone with my books and my novel, forever in progress. Not gonna happen...
Sending virtual hugs your way.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 664
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Post by Octavia » Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:28 pm

Same here. It’s like we are living parallel lives! The anger, the search for coping methods, the desperation for time to do self-care! If only I had answers! I’m always escaping to the bedroom to write my journal - somehow the novel never gets written - I can spend hours up there, pouring my heart out into the pages (though trying not to say anything too incriminating!). Actually, maybe the journal is my coping method, and although it’s a relatively harmless one, it is like an addiction for me. It stops me actually getting on with life!

I’ve been doing quite a lot of contemplating over Christmas too! Let’s hope we find answers in 2019. Hugs from me too!

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4148
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Jan 08, 2019 6:00 am

I know it’s tough to confront this things but it’s part of the journey to finally getting to a better place with it all. And I have no doubt you will get through to the other side stronger and better because you’re one tough cookie.

I admire your willingness to confront these difficult situations. I was just thinking today how I use tv to numb myself. I keep it on during the day for “company “ but really I just don’t think I want to be alone with my thoughts too long. I realized I do that with wine too. Numb myself from uncomfortable feelings.

Wow, I was just looking for a quotation by maya angelou about how she never drank because she didn’t want to miss out on anything going on around her. I swear I remember seeing it somewhere but all I could find was how she struggled with her drinking and drank sherry everyday at 11am. I guess we’re in good company. (Not that either of us are drinking before noon.) ;)
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:21 pm

Thank you Imogen, Octavia, and Linda. Your support and encouragement really means so much to me. I have not shared my alcohol (or food journey, really) with others and - just so you know - you all know more about my inner life than probably anyone else. This is my online diary, after all. :-)

Happily, I am feeling great about my journey right now! I feel so empowered - I think formalizing my drinking is exactly what I needed. Before, I felt that healthy "social" drinkers would never need to do that, so I wanted to emulate that. Damn! Another food parallel!! We have all noticed that healthy slim people don't need NoS, lol!!! Well, in my case it is time to implement the gentle boundaries of NoS with alcohol and I feel really, really good about this. It's going great so far. Although in the car last night I was wondering how things will go when the quarter hits its inevitable high-stress points.

Tuesday, Jan 8
127.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) scrambled eggs ready to microwave when I'm hungry
L: yogurt w/berries
D: tuna melt salad (grilled cheese & tomato soup for kids)
dinner was early (4:15) because of various out-of-house kid activities. So I stopped for a latte and read my book in between basketball and trampoline class.

Drinking
Abs Day
(will) drive Creator to B-Ball and then trampoline and then home to keep away from temptation at home. Update - all good.

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
(will do) Elements Week 3 Day 4

Spending
No plans for today - oh, last night I went to the library w/Creator and got him an ice cream on the way home.

Reading
Last night read Cloudy w/ a chance of meatballs and Alexander, who used to be rich last Sunday. Fun to do some favorite picture books in between the novels.
Last edited by automatedeating on Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:46 pm

Great to hear the drinking plan is on track, so far I've abstained :)

Though I did succumb to a piece of Christmas cake after dinner!

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:28 pm

Soprano - avoiding sweets when I don't have wine definitely exercises my willpower. Sexy has ice cream pretty much every night that he doesn't have alcohol. A milky tea or latte does the trick for me. Or just a flavored sparkling water.

Wednesday, Jan 9

126.3

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) reheated scrambled eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) date night - update - had a french dip roast beef sandwich and a big green salad. To decrease the amount of bread, I took the bottoms off of the two sides and then stuck the thing back together. Twice the meat, half the bread. Decent solution to a restaurant that didn't have the greatest options. The sandwich was actually quite delicious.

Drinking
Date night means drink night. :-)
Ugh - I had 3 glasses over 3 hours - according to my Blood Alcohol Table, that put me at .08, legally intoxicated. Ergh. And my plan was 2 drink max, but I wasn't clear about that before the day started and didn't plan ahead to stick to that, so I ended up with that 3rd, completely unnecessary, glass. And just for curiosity sake, I felt very tipsy. So now I know how I feel at .08 (assuming my table is correct - it is based on my weight and gender).
OK, so mark it and move on. On my moderation management forum, I will post a general question on favorite techniques to make sure they stick to their planned limit. I have ideas I've read about, but I think I just need the moral support. Any you guys want to share are welcome, of course.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder

Spending
Date night $

Reading
Didn't last night, because poor Creator didn't get done with activities until 8pm. tonight kids home about 9pm from last activity, so I'm thinking no on that too - unless we read this afternoon, which is not a bad alternative. Creator was asking about reading from his Norse Mythology book.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:07 pm

Thursday, January 10th

126.1

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, scrambled eggs to heat up at about 10am
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries at about 12:30
D: (will be) salmon burgers & salad

Drinking
Abs Day

Moving
Walk/Jog w/HappyHerder (heading out the door right now)

Spending
No plans
Last edited by automatedeating on Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
Posts: 9608
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:46 pm

I saw your comment that you had eliminated all sugar for three months last year. What did you let back in, if I may ask?
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:54 pm

That's a good question, Oolala. I think I will have to reread my thread to see what I was actually doing and then how I changed.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
Posts: 9608
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:55 pm

Do you eat sweets now? Or ketchup? :wink:
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:08 pm

OK, I just went back and looked. I guess my change was "no refined foods", from refined carbs to refined vegetable oils - it ultimately meant that I couldn't eat anything out of a box or a bag.

But, despite eliminating processed foods on N Days, my blood sugars remained prediabetic and I was still overweight.

So, I guess I actually got MORE restrictive - I stopped eating brown rice and oatmeal and even whole-wheat pasta on N Days (I guess I can have them on S Days but they are not the foods I look forward to, so I still pretty much never have them). By reducing the starches, I FINALLY made the change that allowed me to incorporate salads and many other veggies into my diet. The ironic thing is that it doesn't feel more restrictive. I'm happier and get more joy with my foods right now than I can ever remember before in my whole life. Obviously, that means that I've found a way of eating that works for me long-term.

But in some ways I loosened up - for example, I'll eat tortilla chips and hamburger buns in small quantities on N Days. Ketchup - I guess not. Certainly not on an S Day, and I can't think of any real reason to use it on weekends. If I were to indulge in french fries, I try to really just savor the taste of the plain fries.

On S Days I have sweets, but not very many, and usually just a planned bowl of ice cream in the evening.

So, in summary, I found the most efficient way to limit my carbs (and thereby control my blood sugar, reduce my blood pressure, move better, and lose weight) but still eat foods that are nutritious and delicious (and yes, I put hamburger in the highly nutritious category).
Last edited by automatedeating on Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
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Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:26 pm

Thinking about it I switched my lunches from sandwiches to salads and really love them. I don't miss the lunch carbs and don't get that afternoon slump. I did wonder how I'd manage in the winter but it's been fine.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

oolala53
Posts: 9608
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:35 pm

So it's basically meat and vegetables at lunch?
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:39 pm

no, I have yogurt w/berries for lunch (sorry, I know you said on your thread that that is not satisfying for you). For some reason it hits all the right notes with me and leaves me with a grin. :lol:

Dinner is the meat or fish & veggies meal. If I need a hamburger bun or tortilla chips to make the meal, I use them.

And my protein intake is very healthy/normal. I know for certain because I have to have all these 24 hour urinalysis and they always come back that my protein intake is 1.0 g/kg, which is pretty much perfect no matter who you talk to.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
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Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:59 pm

Hi Auto

How did your drinking plan go? I've just finished dinner and had nothing. I made a hot chocolate last night and usually add a shot of Baileys but didn't. So I can thankfully report my 4 planned drink free days were a success!


Roll on Friday:)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:03 pm

Hi Soprano - my dry days are going great, but my moderation days need work. I had three drinks last night and my limit was supposed to be two. I wasn't prepared to do that, so my fail surprised me. I'll have to plan ahead more carefully and develop techniques to avoid surpassing my limits on moderation days.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
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Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:08 pm

I hadn't really thought about moderating my drink days, I'll join you on 2 glasses of wine unless we are socialising with friends :)

Not sure how it will go but I'd not have more than 3 if it's just the two of us, do you think 3 is too much?

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:13 pm

For my size two drinks is my typical limit on a moderation day. Although I really like having the flexibility to have more if we are with friends (which is infrequent anyway, so I'll cross that bridge once my habits are in better place).

Two glasses of wine makes me feel great, haha, so I don't need anymore. I think it's a super personal decision. My parameters are 7 drinks/week, so I chose to spread them over three days (Wednesday, Friday, Sunday), which means on one of those occasions I can have three. I was thinking that would be Friday night, though, not Wednesday. :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
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Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:59 pm

Thinking about it in the past I've restricted to one bottle of wine over a weekend. Might do that again! I'm happy with less on Sunday because of work on Monday so I could have more Fri and Sat :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

jenji
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Post by jenji » Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:48 pm

Forgive me if this is obvious, but one way we increase our "read aloud" time on busy activity nights is to have an audiobook in the car. It does have a lot of the same benefits of reading together.
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 175#, BMI 27.1 - 08/01/2019

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
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Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:08 pm

Thanks Jen - we use Audible constantly around here (an expensive luxury that I deem worth it for the whole family). Both boys listen to books on their Alexas at bedtime. I have discovered that my morning walk/jogs are like a mental vacation for me while I listen to books. We all talk too much in the car for some reason. Every time I've tried that we end up missing too much of the story, lol. I guess we are too noisy of a family. :lol:

Friday, January 11th

125.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon? - we are out of eggs and I need to find something I can quickly microwave at 10am when I get hungry.
L: yogurt w/berries
was pretty hungry in the afternoon so had a cup of coffee with milk at about 4pm
D: not sure - I'll probably shop tonight, but I have decided I don't like Costco's chicken on their chicken caesar salad. So....maybe they are still selling those brats and I can get some of them and eat with the last of my salad for the week. Update - I ended up finishing up my salad - added lots of a fancy cheese & guacamole and had a hot dog with mustard.

Drinking
Moderate Drinking Day! 2 glass limit tonight. Techniques include - sipping slowly, waiting 1 hour before the second glass, having 16 ounces of water in between glasses, heading upstairs at 8pm to read, relax, and avoid the temptation of the bottle of wine in the kitchen. Wish me luck! This is as hard for me as it for some NoSers to avoid chocolate sitting on a counter. :lol:
Update - well, the wine tasted great, and I enjoyed it slowly - one glass between 6:45 and 7:45, then a second between 7:45 and 8:45. I felt nice, and I worked on some fun chemistry problems (lol) and chatted with Sexy during this time. The bad..... #1 I think my glasses were not actually 5 oz, probably more like 7 oz. each - which is actually almost 3 glasses of wine. And, I'm updating this the next morning - I slept terrible. So I had mixed results overall.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. I ALMOST didn't go - tired! - but HappyHerder kept looking at me pathetically and standing by his harness. And I thought -- Traci never skips! I can do this! I'll just walk if I am too tired to jog at all. Of course once I got out there I jogged a bit, simply because HappyHerder is obnoxious and wants to go fast in between sniff-stops.
Oh, and I have a new strategy to try for doing Elements more consistently. Mister Rogers like - I will change out of my work clothes and into my cute Yoga outfit as soon as I get home and do the 20 minute workout. I'd like to give this a try to establish as a habit.
Historically, trying to make anything a habit when I first get home from work has been - um - huge failures. So not sure why this would be different, but maybe the changing into the outfit concept is a place to start. In the mornings, changing into my walking outfit seems to get me out the door for walking the dog. Perhaps I'll just first establish changing into the yoga outfit, and then eventually expand the habit to doing the actual workout. LOL that is hilarious but I think could actually work!
Update -- I DID change into my yoga outfits. I even put on my new (from Christmas) leg warmers. I felt delighted with myself.....and didn't do the workout. Haha, well, dang it, I'll keep trying. One defense is that I had to finish my menu and shopping list and then go straight to Costco to shop after work. Not much time.

Spending
Costco and local grocery shopping planned.
Update - ugh I spent $236 at Costco. It was not-typical items like keurig coffee cups ($36), paper plates ($18), steak ($34), probably a few other expensive things like that made the total frighteningly high.
keurig coffee pods
1 regular-size bottle of wine
bananas
apples
salad
steak
milk
paper plates
paper cups
Le Croix
bacon - pre-cooked
bacon - not cooked
sharp shredded cheese
gogurts
pickles

still have a few more things to get at the local grocery today

Reading
Another fail last night. I was SO tired I feel asleep at 8:15. I almost feel like I was fighting off (or getting, eeks) a bug. But I am feeling fine now. Maybe the first week back in the classroom has just exhausted me mentally. And maybe my dry days highlight what my body really needs, which is plenty of sleep.
But we'll try again (reading) tonight. Update - fail. On the bright side, our second Incorrigible book arrived from Amazon. I tried to get it at the library and they don't have it any more! Challenger and I had always just checked those books out, so that makes me sad that the books were lost or damaged at some point.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
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Post by Soprano » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:11 pm

Love the idea of establishing the yoga habit by changing into the clothes :)

Good luck.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:11 am

Good luck with the moderate drinking tonight! I like to mix my wine with seltzer water or kombucha to make it last longer but I’m know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Like the yoga outfit idea. I need some new yoga clothes. Been doing a 30 day yoga with Adrienne challenge on YouTube. Love it!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
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sharon227
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Post by sharon227 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:08 pm

Yes, great idea about changing into yoga clothes! I don't seem to have much luck doing exercising at home in the evenings. Mornings are best, or walking at lunchtime. Sometimes I can get myself to the gym after work, but nothing at home. I wonder if it would work to just start the habit of changing into exercise clothes at first! Do let us know how that goes!

I think you're right that there must be similarities between feeling the urge to have chocolate (in my case peanut M&Ms) and feeling the urge to have another glass of wine. It's funny, because there's some chocolate that I can truly have just a little of and be satisfied, a lot of other chocolate I don't even like, and then some that trigger cravings. It's good to know that if I try a new type of chocolate as a treat and find that it triggers cravings, I'll still have the NoS structure, so the worst that generally should happen is overindulging for a day or two over a weekend.

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:09 pm

Thanks Soprano - yep, I changed! For habit building mini-steps, I'll call it success. :-)

Linda - I stuck with my limit but ended up not sleeping well! So I guess I poured my glasses too big, or I really should just have 1 glass on moderation days. On the bright side, I really enjoyed the time Sexy and I were chatting together, working on some of our own things but also enjoying each other's company. Maybe I should tell him that today. We haven't been very connected lately. Oh, and I keep meaning to try your mix method - I love kombucha so that could be a really nice plan. I ordered a body fat scale - hope it works OK. It had good reviews, but we'll see. I got the RENPHO one.

Sharon - totally! Well, I changed but didn't work out. But I think I'll keep it up next week, too, and see what happens. Regarding the chocolate, NoS really does have a nice way of building ample structure but allowing little pressure vents appropriately, doesn't it! And I guess I'm hoping it will do the same for my use of alcohol.

Saturday, Jan 12
S Day!
125.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs & a piece of toast
dessert 1: some chocolates that were given to me by a former student. I think there were 28 in the box. I gave as many away to coworkers this week as work as I could - I think there are still like 10 left. I'm letting the kids have most of them, I figure I'll have 1 or 2. So here's MY thing with chocolate - I don't really love it all that much. BUT, if it's there, I will sometimes just eat it. It doesn't give me a lot of pleasure (like ice cream does). So. I'm fine having a piece or two, but I want to get most of it out of the house or into other people's stomachs ASAP. :-)
Update - ate 3 of these chocolates - 2 almond caramel and 1 mocha caramel. Kids finished off the rest.
Snack: handful of jelly beans from Challenger.
D: Sexy has volunteered to grill steaks in the dark. :-) And we'll have salad and baked potatoes. Update - that meal was so scrumptious. Each bite was like a party in my mouth. I ate until I felt overly full, but satisfied and I think I'll sleep great tonight.
dessert 2: bowl of vanilla ice cream
Crazy thought - we should implement Marie Kondo's "Spark Joy" test for the foods we eat. If it doesn't spark joy, don't eat it. :lol:

Drinking
Abs Day
I will plan to avoid the kitchen after 8pm (go up and read - luckily I started a really good book last night that I'm looking forward to continuing). Other strategies - night walker if the urge to have wine is strong; take a bath; have a LeCroix instead; work on chemistry problems (I'm team-teaching this quarter a chemistry class w/ my biology class, so I'm doing all the chem homework and making up extra practice for students in difficult areas. It's super fun for me and I actually find I get in the flow zone pretty easily with this work).
update - it's about 7pm and I'm doing fine. I feel so tired again. It's funny, but do you think alcohol could sometimes MASK fatigue? Why do I want to go to bed even earlier without wine? Weird.... I guess it is also the first week of the quarter and that can be extremely mentally/emotionally fatiguing.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder once the sun is up (which will be 8am this morning). That way we can get some sunlight (or cloudlight, haha) and go in the woods. This is a change thanks to Traci. I'm no longer going to have Moving being S on the weekend. Just every single day, ingrained part of my routine. The dog certainly needs it every day, and it's not like it's intensive or over-training. I put it in the category of joyful self-care, once I'm out there. It's just getting out there that can still be hard. And having to wait until 8 (when I'm up at 6) is hard but I really want to walk in the light at least once in a while!!
Who knows - it may be an Elements day. I certainly haven't been putting this high on my priority list. There are just too many other things I'm exerting willpower for right now - early walks with dog, not drinking, moderating when I do drink, making menus, shopping with a list, and cooking meals. And NoS requires a bit of willpower from time to time. On the tired nights, when I still get the urge to go through the McDonald's drive-through or eat Little Caesar's pizza. :roll: So Elements is going to have to wait its turn for my full focus, although I do get in the workouts here and there. And the changing into the Yoga outfit is something I'm willing to really commit to (can you tell I really just like the idea of changing into pjs after work?)

Spending
Local grocery trip planned after my walk. Probably about $50

Reading
Norse Myths or Incorrigibles is the goal.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sun Jan 13, 2019 2:53 am, edited 2 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:27 pm

The sun does not come up until eight? What latitude are you at, may I ask?
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
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Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:38 pm

48th parallel! Northern Washington state.
Very sad!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:36 pm

My sister lives in Couer d'Alene. I keep her weather page marked on my phone just to keep me sober. But you do have those loooong days in summer!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

User avatar
lpearlmom
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Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:59 pm

Oh boy, I’m guessing your numbers will put mine to shame. Ive heard good thngs about that scale so you should be good!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:55 pm

Linda - nope! My bodyfat was 26%!

Sunday, January 13
S Day

125.4/BMI 22.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon, eggs, & hashbrowns
L: leftover steak & potatoes
D: Big Salad (I'll capitalize it like Strawberry Roan might do. :-) )
dessert: ice cream

Drinking
Moderation Day - 2 glass limit. Today I will pour the 10 ounces into a measuring cup (so boring, I know) and then into the wine glass to make sure I only drink 2 glasses total. I will wait at least one hour between drinks. I will drink a lot of water between drinks. I will sip slowly. I will fence around the law.
I started a blog over at Moderation Management:
http://forum.moderation.org/blogs/test- ... he-balance

Moving
couldn't drag my butt out of the house this morning. I guess I better leave my expectations alone for S Days to preserve willpower for the rest of the week.
I did wander around outside while going to grocery and enjoyed a rare bit of sunshine. Soaked it up.
Also did a bit of Bear and plan to do Monkey & Frogger while I have the house to myself for an hour (stayed home from Challenger's 3rd game of the weekend.

Spending
1 bottle of wine

Reading
Last night we read Greek Myths. We want to start Gregor #4 but we can't find it. Update - we listened together on Audible to Gregor and the Marks of Secret (#4) while he did legos and I reorganized all the books in his bedroom. Whaddya know - we found Gregor #4!
Last edited by automatedeating on Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Mon Jan 14, 2019 1:44 am

I think using the measuring cup for perspective is a very good idea. Possibly sobering. Pun intended. It may be hard to accept but I'm pretty sure by medical standards, one or two glasses a day is a recommended limit for women. But getting to that is likely to be a process.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

sharon227
Posts: 267
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Post by sharon227 » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:08 am

I was curious and looked it up. U.S. guidelines are 1 drink per day for women - for wine, that's 5 oz. U.K. guidelines are 14 "units" of alcohol per week, which somehow translates into six 175-ml glasses of wine.

Seems to me that having 2 glasses of wine once or twice a week should be OK. While I don't drink often (other types of carbs are my problem), at big holiday dinners it can certainly be more than one.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:59 pm

Thanks Oolala - yeah, I'm not above using that giant measuring cup to keep me honest. Then I took a picture of what 5 ounces in the wine glass actually looks like.

Hi Sharon! Yeah, my limits are in line with the typical guidelines. I think it is close to 50% reduction over my previous intake. :roll:

Monday, January 14th
S Day!

125.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon to heat up when I get hungry in my office
L: yogurt w/berries
D: burgers w/onions, tomatoes, guacamole, cheese, pickles, and lettuce
after dinner: coffee w/milk - probably not smart, I know.

Drinking
Abs Day
I have volunteered for the late night bball pickup; I head to the library or go on a night walker with Creator.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. My goodness it was clear and cold and beautiful this morning. So many stars. The colder it is, the Happier HappyHerder is. ;-)
Yoga class from 11:30-12:15, led by a coworker for faculty only. 8 weeks long. The timing is very good for taking a morning break after a hopefully highly-productive morning of work.
I successfully changed into my Yoga clothes when I got home.....and that's it. :lol:

Spending
No plans - well, I might have to buy a milkshake for a bball player that met a special goal of his, but not sure if I'll do that today. Actually, I should because I can give it to him at pick-up.
And Sexy ended up having to buy new tires for our Highlander. Even at Costco, with a decent discount - it was over $600. :-(

Reading
Gregor & the Marks of Secret with Creator9.
Challenger13 finished The City of Ember and so he got to rent & watch the movie. He wants to read the sequel now. It got me thinking he might be ready for Divergent.
Last edited by automatedeating on Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:44 am, edited 3 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

swebby
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Post by swebby » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:04 pm

Hi Auto, thanks for the invite from the MM board! I loved reading your updates..

I'm starting NoS today. I'm 2 wks abs. Not drinking isn't that big of a challenge for me. I never have drank daily. My issue is with binging on the weekends. I think the main issue with me, is that whatever social activity I'm engaged in, it usually goes on for HOURS. So we'll start at 6-8, and end at like 12-2. That's a long time to be drinking. I can down 2 beers in the 1st 30 min, and then it's downhill from there. I've tried slowing down, drinking water in between, etc. But I've never had success with those techniques. I'm really hoping I can find a way to moderate. Drinking on the weekends while bowling, listening to music, hanging out with family and friends in ingrained in my lifestyle. Being the only completely sober one all the time would be such a drag that I would probably just choose to stay home and watch tv most of the time.

The NoS diet sounds like it might really work for me. I'm 50 lbs overweight and have lost that a dozen times over the last 20-30 yrs. But it always comes back. I get discouraged from even trying. But this sounds like a way of life that I could truly live with. Snacking is my biggest issue. I recently retired, and even before that worked from home most days of the last 20 yrs, so easy access to junk is killing me. I'm prediabetic, so I know I have to get a handle on this quickly. It's all about habits, right?

Again, thanks for the invite.. if feels like someone just threw me a lifeline and that moderation is what's been lacking in many aspects of my life!

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:08 pm

Welcome Swebby! We have a great tribe here with lots of encouragers.

I too am prediabetic, but I've been able to get my blood glucose down into healthy ranges in the last year. So you can do it! I've also lost about 20 pounds in the past year, and my blood pressure is better than it's been since I was in my 20's.

Snacking was ABSOLUTELY my biggest issue, as well. I was a grazer, mostly because I hated cooking and didn't want to bother with it. Change is totally possible - I cook dinner every night now, and I never snack on weekdays. Weekends I loosen up, but I've noticed even then the snacking is rare, rare, rare. Of course, these changes take time, but can be accomplished!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:03 pm

Tuesday, January 15th

125.6

Eating
B: Coffee w/milk, some leftover steak and eggs scrambled for when I get hungry in my office.
L: yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) beef bowl salad w/onions, tomato, cheese, guacamole (spaghetti for kids)

Drinking
Abs day
Feels much harder today (abs days are M,T, Th, Sat). I keep looking in the pantry and wondering about alcohol. :cry: I will be fine, I'll get through it, but there's no denying that I crave alcohol. Just hoping this will get easier over time. I will be carting kids all around tonight - basketball & trampoline class.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. Someone told me yesterday how to find Jupiter. In my sky right now it's a little lower and to the north of Venus. Beautiful.
Got home - changed into yoga clothes. :-)

Spending
No plans.

Reading
Didn't read last night (didn't even get home until 9pm). But Sexy was reading choose your own adventure with Creator when I got home.
Last edited by automatedeating on Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Tue Jan 15, 2019 6:41 pm

I've every faith you won't give in to the alcohol craving :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:02 pm

Thanks Soprano - yes, I made it. By the time I got home at 8pm, I had no desire at all. I was sleepy, and very ready to get in bed and read.

Wednesday, Jan 16

124.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, will pack scrambled eggs and the last of the steak for breakfast when I'm hungry
L: yogurt w/berries
D: tuna fish taco salad - onions, tomatoes, cheese, big salad, pickles, tortilla chips (grilled cheese & tomato soup for kids). We have a rare night where I don't have to drive anyone anywhere. Sexy is out of town

Drinking
Mod Day - 2 drink limit. I will measure 10 ounces out, then drink the glasses separated by at least one hour. I will sip slowly. I will have lots of water in between. I will cork the bottle and put it away out of sight. I will look at my children and remember I am doing this not just for me, but for them.
Oh - one other phenomenon to make note of - yesterday morning I felt antsy about not having alcohol last night. But then the evening was fine (great actually). So I need to remember that sometimes the fear of dealing with life without alcohol is what's driving my craving. To once again tie alcohol in with eating habits, I know that in the past, the FEAR of hunger or the FEAR of not seeing such tasty foods again would drive me to over-indulge.

Moving
walk/jog w/ HappyHerder
will change into yoga clothes after work -- haha -- and maybe even do Elements
I've noticed I'm doing more movement of joints and less standing around or sitting while I wait for things. For example, last night I got to Creator's basketball pickup 20 minutes early. I got out and walked around the (dark and 30 degree) parking lot for those 20 minutes. And since I already had put my yoga clothes on (earlier) I was dressed for the occasion. The other moms were huddled in their cars waiting. That's not an isolated occasion either - and I'm wondering the weight of various factors that are coalescing to help me meet my 2019 physical goal of increased mobility. It's a yay thing definitely. :P

Spending
Bottle of wine.

Reading
Read Gregor and the Marks of Secret to Creator before bed.
Last edited by automatedeating on Thu Jan 17, 2019 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
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Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:14 pm

automatedeating wrote:Thanks Soprano - yes, I made it. By the time I got home at 8pm, I had no desire at all. I was sleepy, and very ready to get in bed and read.


Drinking
Mod Day - 2 drink limit. I will measure 10 ounces out, then drink the glasses separated by at least one hour. I will sip slowly. I will have lots of water in between. I will cork the bottle and put it away out of sight. I will look at my children and remember I am doing this not just for me, but for them.
Oh - one other phenomenon to make note of - yesterday morning I felt antsy about not having alcohol last night. But then the evening was fine (great actually). So I need to remember that sometimes the fear of dealing with life without alcohol is what's driving my craving. To once again tie alcohol in with eating habits, I know that in the past, the FEAR of hunger or the FEAR of not seeing such tasty foods again would drive me to over-indulge.

will change into yoga clothes after work -- haha -- and maybe even do Elements
I've noticed I'm doing more movement of joints and less standing around or sitting while I wait for things. For example, last night I got to Creator's basketball pickup 20 minutes early. I got out and walked around the (dark and 30 degree) parking lot for those 20 minutes. And since I already had put my yoga clothes on (earlier) I was dressed for the occasion. The other moms were huddled in their cars waiting. That's not an isolated occasion either - and I'm wondering the weight of various factors that are coalescing to help me meet my 2019 physical goal of increased mobility. It's a yay thing definitely. :P

You are doing well, I'm impressed :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 17, 2019 3:54 pm

Thank you Soprano. I do feel good about things, but in the back of my mind I worry if I will have a total wheels come off at some point. I don't want to over-extend my willpower. I'm working on so many different areas of improvement now, although admittedly, some are much harder than others. This morning I will reflect on difficulty level for each category as I type.

Thursday, January 17

124.6 - habit to weigh self each morning - EASY. Especially now that I have an app that the data is sent to on my phone! Sheesh!
Fasting Blood Glucose: 75

Eating -
Meal - Planning/ Shopping List preparation - DIFFICULT Still a chore, but upon reflection, it's gotten MUCH easier than last summer, when I would have ranked this as a DEMANDING willpower exertion.
Shopping - DIFFICULT
Food Prep - MODERATE (another improvement from a year ago, when this would have been DIFFICULT +)
B: coffee w/milk, will be leftover beef & onions & an egg when I get hungry
L: yogurt w/ berries
D: salmon burger and a salad -- note last night I couldn't finish my meal. I think the bigger breakfast is decreasing my dinner appetite, but I'm not sure exactly what's making the change. Update - I was hungry by dinner and ate all my food tonight, so the last couple days were probably just a blip because I was having steak and eggs for lunch, lol (duh I guess). But it's nice to be able to calmly notice whether or not I'm hungry.

Drinking
MODERATE - not as hard as I expected, but I think I brought a butt-load of stored willpower (?) to this venture and I damn determined to succeed (my best motivation is that I don't want to have be a teetotaller, lol -- make of that what you will).
BTW, today is an abs day.
Oh, guys, tonight is a tough one. There is a 1/2 a bottle in the pantry and I keep thinking about it. Plus, Sexy is returning tonight and I know he will want to drink wine (he'll be home about 7pm).

Moving -
walk/jog w/ HappyHerder MEDIUM
This requires willpower to GET OUT THE DOOR. Once out there, I am happy, loving it, so glad and feel healthy and strong and sort of one with everything, lol.
Elements - DIFFICULT Enough said, this one is tough.. however, the new habit - YOGA clothes after work is EASY and I think translating into more afternoon movement.

Spending
MODERATE/DIFFICULT - this willpower exertion varies, almost cyclically like my monthly cycle or something
No plans for today, btw.

Reading
MODERATE/DIFFICULT - It might seem like I'd put only Difficult here, since I fail here more than any other place. But sometimes it comes pretty easily, and then I have longer stretches of many fails.
Last edited by automatedeating on Fri Jan 18, 2019 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
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Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:36 pm

Interesting being worried about total wheels off. If habits are well established you might have the odd blip but no reason to believe it will extend.

For comfort though whilst you are in control write a plan for dealing with the eventuality :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:20 pm

Good idea, Soprano. I need to have a plan.

In Fall of 2014, I had a series of health problems that really threw me off and I struggled with NoS for a long time after that. I think that's what is in the back of my mind - how will I cope when the stresses/inconveniences/heartaches/disappointments of life inevitably come? Maybe that's negative of me, but it is an ongoing "monkey in my head".

Friday, January 18

124.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 2 eggs & ground beef/onions (leftover) for breakfast about 10:30am
L: yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) family date night. Burger most likely.

Drinking
Mod Day - 2 drink max. will measure, will cork, will sip, will space (1hr), will water, will bed. :-)

Moving
walk/jog w/ HappyHerder
will yoga clothe (loving this habit of changing - didn't realize how less I move when in restrictive work attire)

Spending
Eating out with kids tonight
Shopping? Maybe we can all go to Costco together? Hmmm
Costco shopping - $123

Reading
Gregor last night - this 4th book in the series is really building tension.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:21 pm

Saturday, January 19

124.6
My sister (lives in a different state) really wants me to get a FitBit.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
snack: a few apple slices, 1/2 a banana
L: yogurt w/berries
snack: tortilla chips w/guacamole
D: change of plans - Challenger13 had terrible stomach cramps, and I felt a bit nauseated/crampy too. I think it might have been the place we ate at last night. Challenger and I got the same thing. I'm trying not to think further about it though - cringe-worthy. Anyway, I ended up eating nachos w/cheese, sour cream, and guac.
dessert: ice cream
Today has been really hard. I have been roving about for food, despite NOT BEING HUNGRY. It can actually be a bit infuriating when this happens. Sometimes, though, there is a tiny bit of hunger, and I have to decide to just eat something normal even though I'm not hungry. So, for example, I was thinking about eating.... like a milkshake or something from Starbuck's, and I had to just tell myself - eat your yogurt and berries - you're probably a LITTLE bit hungry and then you will be satiated and the cravings gone. That worked.... for awhile. Then the snacky urge hit again, and that time I just told myself to fix a nice tasty snack and eat it sitting down. So I had tortilla chips and guac. Then at dinner I wasn't really hungry, but wanted to eat. Then I wanted ice cream, but it made me feel a teensy bit nauseated. Weird eating day. Luckily there wasn't too much junk in the house or it could have been worse. I think two weeks ago, I would have just been having a lot more wine.... :oops:

Drinking
Abs Day
Ah, yes, speaking of wine. So today was hard in this area too. I kept seeing the wine bottle (1/2 full) in the pantry. I finally shoved it to the very back and put it behind some things. Then we were at the gas station later today, I kept thinking - I'll just go grab a bottle.
Then when I came home, probably 5 different times I began to rationalize how I would just have one measured 5 ounce glass. I had all kinds of good reasons, like clearly 2 glasses on a mod day is too much, so I should just have one today and one tomorrow (instead of 2 tomorrow). Anyway, you get the idea. Lots of my craving brain working to get me to do its bidding.
I am OK now - I guess it's true, what I've read - you have to "ride" out the craving. That probably works for food too, but I can only fight so hard right now. So I successfully rode out the alcohol craving today. I will remember this little victory. I can do this.

Moving
No plans, although I did put on my walking clothes when I woke up. I was supposed to drive Challenger13 to a basketball tournament, and I figured I'd go on a walk before and after games - but he woke up sick (abdominal pain and nausea) so he is home and we are hoping he doesn't get worse.
Challenger13 feeling better (cramps gone) but still had to miss both of his basketball games today.
I spent a bunch of time (while he is sick on the couch) doing my Elements program - today I did Bear, Monkey, and Frogger. I even played around with a handstand (against the wall). This movement stuff is kind of intoxicating (in a non-alcohol way!). Makes me feel like a kid again. When I'm out and about, I find myself walking on curbs, jumping over bike racks..... :P
No question that the moving was the best part of my day today. I swear, on other fronts I have been downright depressed today....?!

Spending
Still need to do local grocery shopping.
Also really wanting to do some budget balancing this morning and forecast a bit toward the hopeful goal of buying a used Toyota Corolla in the summer. $10,000 is the necessary amount saved, and much will depend upon taxes, which we won't know until February.
$83 at local grocery - more than normal, partly because I needed to get some stuff for sick Challenger.

Reading
Did not read last night. Will read more of Gregor at about 8:15 tonight.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:58 am, edited 4 times in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Staff Assistant III
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:05 pm
Location: Pennsylvania USA

Post by Staff Assistant III » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:25 pm

Hello!

I really like the basic Fitbit flex. It’s waterproof so I never have to worry about runining it in the shower or the kitchen sink. Right now I’m using it on my ankle but I’ve used it on my wrist as a silent alarm, which my light sleeping husband loves.

Your journal is very interesting 😀

Is Happy Herder a border collie by any chance?

Laura
Last edited by Staff Assistant III on Sat Jan 19, 2019 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
No S start date 1/11/19

BMI Jan 19 22.7, FEb 19 22.9

oolala53
Posts: 9608
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:40 pm

I get it about some fear. But your odds are good in the long run.

I DO understand the issue about teetotaling. I've stubbornly refused to commit to indefinite abstention of some substances, too. (Re: alcohol, the stats show that it's actually only a small percentage of drinkers who need to abstain completely. Most "problem drinkers" eventually are able to set limits they can stick with when they get very clear that overdoing it is costing them a price they don't want to pay any more. It's often just a sense of pride in control, or the image of themselves as not being a slave to the substance or needing it for fun or whatever. It doesn't mean they aren't tempted! They just feel the tradeoff is worth it. You don't have to tell me, but can you think of something[s] that would make it worth it not to have that drink beyond your set limit?

Onwards.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
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Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 20, 2019 4:36 am

Hi Staffy. :-) HappyHerder is an Australian Shepherd! So very similar to a border collie. Our previous dog was a mix between the two. I seem to have an affinity for the "higher maintenance" dogs. :wink: I just adore my little buddy.
Oh, and I did a little checking out fitbits today. I would be mostly interested in the sleep information, but steps aren't a biggie for me. I probably would like it to give a little alarm when I've been sitting for too long.

Oolala, thank you for your kind understanding about my fears and my temptations. I found your post helped me to feel empowered about my decision to manage this part of my life more wisely. Yes, I think for me it can be a point of pride to successfully habituate moderation. But the power of my own manipulative mind shocks me...... there's a little lady sitting on my amygdala that would love to have a bottle of wine in a brown paper bag every night. :roll:

As far as the other part of your question - what would make it worth it to NOT drink beyond weekly moderation........ I don't really have anything specific that I can hang on to that drives me reliably to keep choosing moderation. That has been a big part of the problem. I know my kids are supposed to be the best motivator, but the "be a better mom for my kids" sometimes doesn't seem quite tangible or perhaps it's too long-term to be gratifying right now. Honestly, at this point, the best I've got is that I know that if I fail at moderating right now I will be faced with having to never get to drink in the future. I don't know if that fear is enough to keep me moderating forever, but for now I find it is propelling me along (not without temptation, as you pointed out). I truly am just gritting my teeth and using my wells of willpower right now - I can feel my willpower seeping out of me....rapidly. And THAT brings me back to my fear of wheels falling off on other systems as I drain my limited willpower on this alcohol moderation system.

Hmmm, I will try to expand my list. The things that motivate me most to moderate my drinking......
*I do not want to develop such a drinking problem that my only realistic solution is to abstain forever.
*Basically, drinking as much as I have is a vice that I don't want to have rule me.
*I want to continually improve myself and be maximally productive in this life. Alcohol prevents me from reaching my potential because it dulls my mind and reduces my motivation to achieve in multiple areas.
*feeling great in the morning, well-rested. Sleep is a big deal to me. I guard it jealously and I don't like it disturbed. Alcohol disturbs my sleep, moreso now, I think, because I've lost weight and don't eat as many carbs.
*no morning regrets about drinking the night before and not reading or interacting enough with my kids (I guess that one IS about my kids....)
*making sure my kids see that it takes consideration and planning to avoid becoming an alcoholic (at least in our family tree!).
*Saving $ to buy a new(ish) car. This one seems good on paper, but lacks real "umph" in moments of temptation.

There is something different about moderation efforts than NoS Eating that makes it trickier. With NoS, the option exists to remove ALL restrictions on the weekends. That option doesn't exist with alcohol. With alcohol moderation, I use abstinence willpower on some days, and on the mod days I have to use willpower too! So there is no "release" valve like with NoS Eating. For me personally, I think I am going to eventually add in a couple mod days that are completely free of restriction each month (in other words, if I want to drink 5 glasses of wine, I COULD.....). But first I need to get to the 21 day club (in my mind, 3 weeks of Green Days for abs days or mods days). Then I can do more reflection and evaluation. I might very well decide that this "free-for-all" day is just a suggestion of Lady Twirltongue Amygdala.

Phew! That was a lot of emotional disentanglement right there. Thanks! I just got through the witching hour and now I'm in the blissful sleepy state and free of temptation!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4148
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Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:19 am

I think its great that you’re really giving this your all. I think what’s been helpful to me lately is to challenge whatever belief I have that makes me reach for the alcohol in the first place like “I can only have fun when I’m in a social situation if I drink†or “I can only de-stress if have a drink†or my personal introvered belief “I’m much more interesting when I drinkâ€. I tell myself they are true but upon closer look, they’re clearly false. I can and have had fun while being in a social situation without drinking. Sometimes the opposite is true too. Like if i drink too much Im pretty sure my conversation skills go out the window.

Doesn’t mean I can’t choose to still drink in those situations but I can also experiment with finding other and possibly more effective ways to achieve my desired outcomes. Its a work in progress but I find these mindset shifts helpful.

Look forward to seeing what solution/plan works best for you. You’ve got this!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
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automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:03 pm

Thanks Linda! I like your method!

I am going to post here on my thread these additional methods I have found:

From Dryuary: You can manage cravings in at least 4 different ways: distraction, tolerance, extinction and tapping. Distraction is probably the most familiar and recommended method for managing cravings. The problem lies in that this only works for so long. After a while, you become a human-doing rather than a human-being which leads to feeling overwhelmed and giving up.

The second method is tolerance. This method requires that you white knuckle yourself through cravings and urges, counting down the days (or hours) until your next drink. Focusing on the idea of “I can’t drink today†only causes you to run towards that which you do not want. You are better off focusing on the “things you CAN do todayâ€which probably includes a list longer than you can imagine that is more fun too. White knuckling is the most difficult of the three because willpower depletes throughout the day. The later in the day it is, the less likely this method will work.

The third method is extinction. This is permanent, it works, and is easier than you think. Psychological extinction means rather than distracting yourself from the craving or just surviving it, you use it as a detective uses clues to solve a case. Here’s what to do: The next time you have a craving, sit down and go into it. Describe it using your 6 senses – Hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, and feeling. Write it down or say it out loud. Where is it in your body? Try to describe its shape, color, texture, and location. Stay with it. Don’t be afraid of it. You can’t die from being present in the moment. Then, notice something. It’s gone! Repeat this method until you no longer have cravings. You’ll know it’s working when cravings happen less intensely and less frequently.

Lastly, tapping is the use of energy psychology to stop an unwanted feeling in its track. Learning how to do this is easy and there are literally hundreds of Youtube videos on “Tapping for Cravings.†What this does is send signals to the brain to disrupt emotions and change your response to the craving. For North American’s this seems a little airy fairy but it’s free and worth trying. If it works for you, you’ll be glad you checked it out.
Post Submitted By: Michele Perron, PhD, LADC, CCSAC, ICADC, CAPP
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:56 pm

Sunday, January 20

126.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, blonde flat latte, egg bites from Starbuck's
L: yogurt w/berries
Dessert #1: 1 pecan caramel cluster chocolate
snack: tortilla chips w/guacamole
D: grilled burgers w/cheese, onion, tomato, bacon, guacamole
dessert #2: vanilla ice cream
dessert #3: 1 more pecan caramel cluster chocolate

Drinking
WineMod Day - 10 ounce max
1 drink per hour/sip slowly/measure out drinks/go up to read at 8pm/hide wine bottle from view/think about how I feel/remember how glad I'll be tomorrow for moderating appropriately

Moving
walked for about 30 minutes before Challenger's game - explored the college campus the tournament is at.
Did Elements when I got home - practicing transitioning between Bear and Monkey - also love my wrist and shoulder stretches.

Spending
bought breakfast at Starbuck's on way up to basketball tourney

Reading
Making good progress last night in Gregor - hope to continue again tonight.
Also played some board games last night and I'd like to see if we can play Yahtzee tonight.
Last edited by automatedeating on Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

jenji
Posts: 582
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Post by jenji » Sun Jan 20, 2019 11:23 pm

Similar to a plate, maybe it would help you to have a little, moderate carafe for wine, like they use in restaurants? I was thinking you could develop a nice little decanting ritual around that which would reinforce habit and seem fancy and nice...
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 175#, BMI 27.1 - 08/01/2019

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:35 pm

Hi Jen - I love your idea - thank you for the suggestion. Right now the wine is kept in a baking measuring cup (I kid you not), and then I pour it into my (very pretty and favorite) wine glass. I should totally buy a carafe. It also will cause much less discussion on occasions when we are socializing. I just looked them up - I found some on Amazon that hold 10 ounces, which is my limit on most mod days.

Monday, January 21

126.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, reheated scrambled eggs about 10am
L: yogurt w/berries
D:2 hot dogs (one w/bun, one w/out) with lots of cheese, onions, and pickles and Caesar salad (kids also had chili)

Drinking
Abs Day today & tomorrow
I have most definitely used Distraction and Tolerance to withstand cravings. Today I will try out one of the other craving techniques, if needed. Tapping and/or extinction (both described in blue in a previous post).
If these are not working, I will get out of the house (library, Target to buy a puzzle...) Kids don't have activities today because of the holiday.
This morning (as I'm writing, actually) Creator9 had a short, but good discussion about alcohol and how people need to be responsible to make sure they don't drink too much. Not easy for me, but I tried to be honest and yet not give him TMI about his mom.

Moving
(will) walk to work with HappyHerder (school closed so I can sneak him in while I work, haha). I just have about 2 hours of work, I think. Walking there and back will take 90 minutes total. Maybe we'll stop off at the dog park on the way home. So that will get me home about lunchtime so I don't need to carry lunch with me to work.
Also (will be doing) Week 4, Day 2 of my Elements Program. I am thinking I may have broken through my resistance to doing it and now the fun of it is propelling me along. I cannot express how this program enlivens me and makes me feel like a kid. Somersaults, handstands, cartwheels will be added in soon, although for now I'm trying to just focus on Bear, Monkey, Frogger. :-)

Spending
No plans, but if I need to deal with an alcohol craving, I might go to Target and buy a puzzle. We're also out of canned cat food (I forgot to add it to me grocery list on Friday), and although we have dry cat food, my cats are spoiled and used to sharing a can a day. So, I'll either have to deal with their meowing, feed them canned tuna or chicken this week, or go to the store and buy for their spoiled kitty bottoms. :lol:

Reading
Read Chapter 6 last night - Luxa & Gregor snuck out of the palace (through secret stone Turtles) to go help the Nibblers, but when they got their, Luxa's mouse friend was dead!
We also played one game of Rummikub last night, but Challenger13 had a fit (because of electronics cravings of his own he was dealing with) and didn't play with us. Ah, the best laid plans of Nibblers (Mice) and Men (Moms that try to play board games with their families like "good" families do).
Last edited by automatedeating on Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Octavia
Posts: 664
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Post by Octavia » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:30 pm

The carafe sounds totally elegant! Great idea.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 22, 2019 4:39 pm

Yep - I will look for a carafe at Goodwill. Amazon only sold them in 4-packs.

Tuesday, January 22nd

125.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) reheated scrambled eggs when hungry at 10
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) beef taco salad w/ tortilla chips (burritos for kids)

Drinking
Abs Day - feeling pretty good, so far not too worried about tonight. That said, the events of the day often dictate the craving. Will try tapping if this occurs tonight - then get out of the house if that fails.
With all this no-alcohol or moderate alcohol intake, I seem to have gained back many hours to each day. Finding myself LOOKING for things to do. Yesterday I washed my floor, cleaned the litter box, scooped poop, folded laundry and still had gobs of time to read on my own and listen to podcasts and exercise and make meals. Of course, it was a holiday (MLKJr Day) but still ....

Moving
long walk/jog w/ HappyHerder this morning. I seem to be covering more ground without feeling more tired. Started listening to Peter Attia "The Drive" Podcasts because I've run out of Diet Doctor podcasts.
Week 4, Day 3 of Elements - High Monkey and Frogger/Monkey Transition

Spending
No plans
Update - bought a tanning package for Sexy and I to split. We aren't doing it for getting brown - we do it to get a little sunlight in the depths of this dark northern winter. All the benefits of a little bit of sunlight - Vitamin D, mood, circadian rhythm, immune health, cardiovascular health, etc.

Reading
Read last night (chapter 7) - Gregor & Luxa are being attacked by snakes. Gregor will probably go into Rager mode and then he is basically invincible.
Last edited by automatedeating on Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:54 pm

Wednesday, January 23

124.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) reheated scrambled eggs about 10
L: yogurt w/berries
D: date night - mac&cheese or frozen pizza for kids

Drinking
I just realized it's a mod day! That has got to be a victory that I didn't even think of it until right now.
10 ounce max. It's date night, so 1 glass of wine at dinner, 1 when I get home. Water in between, more than 1 hour separation, sip slowly. REMEMBER that I will be GLAD tomorrow morning when I wake up without a headache. TAKE NOTE of how pleasant I feel and enjoy it, don't try to have another glass to somehow prolong that warm feeling. Live in the moment.
Also - pour the 5 ounces at home into measuring cup. Hide the bottle. Use tapping or extinction methods if the craving hits. If those fail, go to bed early.

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder - 1 hour last couple of days! We both seem to want to keep going farther
Elements, Week 4, Day 4 (Active Recovery which is mostly stretching)
The "changing into Yoga clothes" as soon as I get home from work has been a fantastic habit for me to work on. Loving it for a variety of reasons.

Spending
Date night - I've already decided what I will order - "The Fermenter Burger" - Blue Cheese w/bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion..... :-) sounds divine. With a nice salad and blue cheese dressing.

Reading
Didn't read to Creator last night - man I was tired.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:08 pm

Thursday, Jan 24

124.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) 4 pieces of microwaved bacon (I ran out of time to fix eggs this morning)
L: yogurt w/berries
coffee w/milk after work (been doing that this week - not usual for me, and not a habit I want to develop..... - it's been helping distract me from wine, though)
D: salmon burger & big salad

Drinking
Abs Day - kind of a relief, actually. Invariably 2 glasses on my mod days makes me feel a little tipsy. It's too much for me, but I am resisting cutting back -- very NoS ey of me -- get the N Days down and then work on the S Days. :-)

Moving
walk/jog w/ HappyHerder
change into yoga clothes upon arriving home from work
Elements Week 4 Day 5, focus on Bear to Frogger Transition and High Frogger

Spending
$54 to order pizza for lunch for remainder of year for Challenger.

Reading
tonight! yes Gregor! We missed the last two nights - once because I was too tired and once because we got home too late
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 25, 2019 2:55 pm

Friday, January 25th

124.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) scrambled eggs reheated about 10
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) tuna salad w/ a few tortilla chips

Drinking
Mod Day - 10 ounce limit
Will measure, will hide remaining bottle, will sip, will water, will go upstairs at 8pm

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
I got a lacrosse ball to roll on my tight spot. Love that thing!
(will) change to Yoga clothes as soon as I get home
(will be) Elements Week 4, Day 6 - Bear to Monkey to Frogger Transitions

Spending
Hair appt after work!
Also may got to Costco tonight, not sure because it's already going to be a long day. On the flip side, the weekend is busy so I'd like to get it done.

Reading
Didn't read again last night. Maybe tonight.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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Octavia
Posts: 664
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Post by Octavia » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:08 pm

Have a great weekend, Auto! :)

Staff Assistant III
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:05 pm
Location: Pennsylvania USA

Post by Staff Assistant III » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:16 pm

I love Costco. Buying food is the only kind of shopping I enjoy. I try and order everything else from Amazon.

Have a great weekend!

Laura
No S start date 1/11/19

BMI Jan 19 22.7, FEb 19 22.9

oolala53
Posts: 9608
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:04 am

There are no thrift stores that I can shop at so far, so it's still brick and mortar for me for a lot of stuff. Or Ross. I almost can't imagine doing food shopping online which is apparently becoming more popular.I want to choose my own tomatoes, fruit, etc., I do buy bags of apples but I get only one banana at a time these days. I tend to shop at discount groceries and I like walking the aisles seeing what they have. I do get influenced to buy "fail" foods sometimes. Would that happen online? I've never tried it; maybe they push junk food images on you as you shop.

I guess for some people, not walking down aisles of snack foods, desserts, and candy could be a real advantage. But it's still not going to happen for us!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:45 am

oolala53 wrote:Would that happen online? I've never tried it; maybe they push junk food images on you as you shop.
Bwahaha! :lol: I bet you are right!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

Soprano
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Soprano » Sat Jan 26, 2019 7:37 am

I'm always tempted by the wine aisle in a shop, online I am less impulsive and only buy what I know I need unless something is on offer :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 3701
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 26, 2019 3:54 pm

Saturday, January 26

S Day!

124.0

Eating
B: coffee w/milk
brunch?: tortilla chips & guacamole & shredded cheese. Cured my headache. Wow. Think I needed salt. My low/no processed food diet combined with drinking a gallon of water a day (kidney stone prevention, haha) has caused a mild salt deficiency in me, I think. Who would have guessed that. Weird.
Dinner: Burgers
Can I just say my homemade burgers are now officially way awesomer than any burger I can order in a restaurant? That is a huge turning point for me in my cooking journey.
snack: on veggies & ranch
Sexy and Creator9 brought me home a HUGE bag of Reese's pieces - they are always excited for my S Days. :-)
So....
dessert1: small bowl of Reese's
dessert2: (will be another) small bowl of Reese's :roll: :wink:
dessert3: (will most) definitely ice cream

Drinking
Thankfully, it's an abs day. I have another headache even though I stuck to my mod limit (2 drinks, spaced at least one hour apart).
Update - I think I've had an epiphany. I need more salt, and when that is combined with a mod day - it's a nasty headache. I just don't eat hardly any processed foods anymore, and my sodium is very low -- so note to self -- you CAN have too little sodium, haha.

Moving
No plans, but I didn't do Elements yesterday so maybe I'll fit that in. I have this lacrosse ball I've been using for some self-massage on my hips and shoulders. It's fun. There's a book I'm interested in getting called "Supple Leopard".

Spending
Most likely someone will spend some money on fast food taking kids to/from basketball. I'm fighting it though! I made french toast for the kids this morning before Creator's game to avoid fast food breakfast. Burgers for linner - maybe nachos for early lunch before Challenger's next game.

Reading to Creator
Ugh. Not doing well this week in this area.
Last edited by automatedeating on Sun Jan 27, 2019 1:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1

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