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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saturday, Dec. 22

S Day!

127.8

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert: piece of leftover Costco birthday cake
D: tortilla chips, cheese, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream
Alcohol: 2 glasses of wine

Moving
nothing

Spending
Local grocery - refried beans, pastured eggs, english muffins

Reading
nothing last night

Warning - alcohol ramble coming -
I'm sorry that you all have to see my constant alcohol struggle. Confused
Apologies in advance if this is all TMI - please skip if this is stressful or disgusting for you to read.....

But I think it's important for me to document it. I started a dry December and it's been a complete failure. I did a pretty good dry September and the first half of August, so I think I just picked a particularly bad time of year with December.

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. I think my sister is an alcoholic. My dad never drinks, my mom is very light in her drinking (although she has spoken of alcoholics on her side of the family). My other sister rarely drinks and seems to have no attraction to it. I've considered complete abstinence (lots of times), and I've considered MANY ways to moderate, and tried quite a few methods (I always fail). I was feeling mightily discouraged about ever being able to moderate. I was reading quite a bit yesterday about the efforts to moderate drinking. I guess it's not that common to fail, and then eventually some people decide to give it up forever. Others succeed at finding that moderation.

Here are the moderation efforts I have made:
*buy a certain amount at the start of the week and don't buy anymore when that's gone. Probable causes of failure - My husband will often bring home some and then I can't resist; or I buy some because I feel it justifies a particularly hard day.
*Picking certain days that are alcohol-free. Probable cause of failure - justification of extra day needed because I deserve to have a break

Here are some successes (however minimal they may be):
*I very rarely get drunk or feel that I had too much to drink. I'm quite good at sensing when I feel mildly relaxed and then stopping. The desire to avoid any bad feelings associated with alcohol is very good at stopping me from drinking too much.
*My moderation efforts at least successfully curt-tail steady, daily drinking. Even though I feel like a failure, these efforts keep me from sliding straight into alcoholism.
*I successfully have 1 or 2 dry months every year. I've done 40 days multiple times as well.

Here's what I like about drinking (red wine is my preference):
1. It relaxes me and sometimes helps me warm up a little
2. It is pleasurable tasting
3. My gut feeling is that it's potentially healthy for me, particularly cardiovascular health.
4. It keeps me from snacking in the evening, because it is like a special treat for me.
5. update/edit after this stream of consciousness entry -- it provides escape from the life that I feel trapped in. Shocked

What I don't like about my drinking:
1. It is almost every night and takes concerted effort to take nights off.
2. It could encourage my kids to use alcohol for coping.
3. It is expensive.
4. I occasionally drink too much and don't feel good the next day
5. I definitely drink over the recommended govt. guidelines. And yes, I keep track.

What would it look like for me to be comfortable with my drinking?
*it would include days off every week
*it would mean drinking 7 drinks max per week

I think I need to consider how many more attempts at moderation I will allow myself before I decide I just won't drink at all anymore.

Also, I find that I'm usually pretty good at sticking to my commitments, etc. Something about alcohol use is different for me (apparently, based on my repeated failures). It's as though I don't really want to stop or even reduce my drinking. I think there's a little rebel inside of me that is damned determined it deserves to get a few moments to itself everyday. The alcohol is an escape from the grind of my life.

I think I've possibly discussed this elsewhere, but I wonder if my alcohol use is similar to sugar addicts or overeating issues. Oolala is always telling people they will only stop when the desire to avoid the bad stuff is greater than the desire to indulge right now. Well.....I am not convinced that avoiding alcohol is really better for me health-wise (I know that there is evidence both ways, but sometimes these convictions are not really about data, you know what I mean???). Maybe that's not rational, but I'm not scared enough about alcohol consequences. So I have this very obvious internal struggle going on.

Yesterday I was contemplating that I do much better as a mom when I don't drink. I wondered if that would/could be the inspiration I need to make long-lasting improvements in my drinking. Update/edit upon rereading -- that's the whole problem!!! I think I'm already trying as hard as I can as a parent, and the alcohol is what I turn to when I can't take another second of domesticity.

I think that drinking is a way for me to escape the burdens and obligations of parenthood. It's like I don't have better coping skills. And I feel kind of angry imagining the suggestions people might give me -- go for a walk - take a bath - read a book - listen to music - run errands - do a craft - call a friend - clean the house - eat ice cream. None of these seem like adequate replacements. I really think there are so many things about raising kids that I just don't like and wish I didn't have to do. The constant discipline that Challenger13 requires wears out my last ATP molecule. And the nurturing that Creator9 needs sucks out my last generosity drip. Deep down, I'm super selfish and don't want to serve others. I like to do my own thing. The drudgery of life weighs down on me. There's always so much to do. I think I resent that I have so much to do. Uh-oh. Maybe that means deep down I'm super LAZY. Lazy and selfish, sounds delightful. How do healthy, non-drinking people cope with the stresses of life? My sister-in-law is raising 6 kids and she never drinks. I honestly get skin-crawly thinking about having to live her life. I'm sorry everyone. I sound terrible and probably you are thinking I never should have had children (go ahead and think it - I think it all the time....)

Is marijuana the new acceptable "escape" drug? Maybe I could stop drinking and use that instead. Smile
For a VERY short time, I had a Xanax prescription (Fall 2016). I've got to say, those pills were the best! That's the feeling I love, and I can totally see how I'm seeking that with alcohol. They even work on the same brain receptors.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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ladybird30



Joined: 07 May 2017
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of the reasons I didn't have children was that I knew I didn't have what it takes to be a parent. I don't think that makes me selfish or lazy, just realistic.

I am full of admiration for women like yourself who parent, run a home and have paid work as well. It did strike me that being a good example to your kids might be a powerful motivator.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks ladybird. I hope I don't freak out too many people with my post. But I've always been a fan of transparency, even when it is uncomfortable and cringe-worthy.

And yes - the kid example is the most powerful motivator in my contemplations. But still not powerful enough. I need to dig deeper and figure out how to master this aspect of my life.

Sunday, December 23
S Day

128.5

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon and eggs
L: (will be) lunch with in-laws. We are driving there today.
D: (will be) eating with in-laws from now until Thursday breakfast.
Dessert - if there are Christmas treats there, I am indulging tonight!
Alcohol: limit will be 2 glasses of wine
Also, I have these little cards I printed out. On them I will keep track of my mood and any triggers I experience when I choose to pour a glass of wine.

Travel time coming and that means eating can get derailed. I am not in control of the menu, although I think I can have reasonable input.
When possible, I will choose meats, cheeses, salads, and vegetables.
I need to be prepared to avoid - snack mixes, sugar cookies, potatoes, and other starchy dishes such as tortillas.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 496
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Auto,
Sorry you’re feeling low. And I’m the last person in the world who can advise you on giving up a ‘vice’ or whatever these things are. I fail to give up overeating on a regular basis. And I certainly couldn’t give up alcohol, even though for some reason it’s not on my radar as a thing to give up. I rarely have a week off, though I do have days off without it being a problem, and I am just lucky that way - very, very lucky. But reading about the reasons you have those glasses of wine, I just wanted to say, I think you (like many women) are justified in wanting freedom, rebellion, self-determination. I feel exactly the same, and I think these are valid desires and not to be ashamed of. Parenting and working can be oppressive. Even being married can be oppressive. I sometimes get very low when I’m on holiday with the family because I want freedom so badly. And my way of soothing these feelings has occasionally been more ‘radical’ than a few glasses of wine, believe me! Over the years I’ve decided that despite my feelings and occasional acts of rebellion, I show up as a parent and a worker, and that’s what matters.

I once read a book on depression (The Curse of the Strong, by someone Cantopher) which said if you’re feeling guilty, that’s a good sign. It’s a sign that you are being selfish for a change, which is what you need.

I suppose the trouble is, when our need to rebel and break out and do something selfish gets attached to a repeated behaviour that we can’t entirely control. Like for me, I used to overeat chocolate in exactly the same spirit you describe with your drinking. I had to separate the two things - the desire for autonomy and the chocolate consumption - and No S did help with that. (I also came to suspect that my chocolate habit was exaggerating the feelings of frustration and desperation to break free - it may or may not be the same for you.) Anyway I guess what I’m saying is that maybe you can work on your drinking without denying those powerful and valid feelings. Actually, your drinking doesn’t sound too bad to me, but you’re the best judge of that (and I appreciate that your family history is a worry for you). Hey, it’s Christmas too - the worst time to develop our willpower! The visitors! The in-laws! The temptations. Arghh!

Anyway Auto, do ignore any/all of this if it feels wrong for you...just sharing my experience - hope that’s OK. 🙂

Well I’ll stop rambling on now. Hope you are forgiving yourself and feeling a bit better. X
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 458
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thats a real from the heart post Auto. Stop feeling bad about your parenting skills. It's hard, unrewarding work for the most part. You don't get a manual and all you can do is your best in the moment. Sometimes you'll look back and know you got it wrong but you are only human!

Re the drinking, difficult one. I love red wine too Smile

I know I can live without alcohol but I also enjoy a drink and sometimes feel I need one. I try on the whole not to drink Mon to Thursday but some meals cry out for a glass of wine!

We drink more than my parents did but not as much as some friends do. I try and moderate it for health reasons but it is difficult when our social lives revolve around it.

If like me you rebel against rules don't set too many re drinking. Do it consciously, enjoy it and stop when you've had enough

I'm rambling Smile Take what works for you and ignore the rest.

Have a great holiday,

Jx
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Octavia & Soprano. Your messages were so encouraging - I believe there are nuggets in both of your posts i will be using to work through this in the weeks to come.
Im at my in laws with just my phone so i can't type much, but suffice to say i appreciate more than words can say......
Sun -
B: bacon & eggs
L: cream cheese salami roast beef cheese toast
D: more of above (others had lasagne)
Dessert: ice cream
2 glasses of wine
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Christmas Eve 2018!
B: bacon & eggs, coffee w/milk
L: salami, cheese & a few potato chips
D: steak, salad, French fries & mushrooms
3 glasses of wine
Trigger for glass 3: returned to in laws from another relatives & glasses were poured while adults filled stockings. I may not finish this glass actually. It's late & I'm tired!
Dessert: 4 cookies total - 1 perfect sugar cookie (no frosting), 2 of these amazing chocolate chip cookied with some sort of snicker filling. 1 oatmeal type cookie that was a little too dry.
Moving
Walk/jog in in laws neighborhood with happy herder

Spending
Goodwill - 5 pairs of jeans for $40 😏
Trader Joe's - a few items for Christmas eve dinner

Reading
I think creator is asleep, but I'll go check!
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3911
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Hugs* First of all you are not a bad parent and second of all your struggles with alcohol are definitely not disgusting. You are brave and honest to talk about stuff that so many of us struggle with.

You know I struggle with the alcohol stuff as well so I totally get you. I actually just kind of gave up on it and have wine pretty much every night now. This is probably dangerous but I’ve just given myself permission to go ahead and have a couple glasses a night. I noticed that with full permission, I drink less but of course if I had alcoholic tendencies, this would be dangerous. My mom had a drinking problem for awhile when we were younger and my grandmother (on dads side) drank too much so I worry too.

But honestly the fact that you’re so self-aware and concerned probably means you don’t have an actual problem. I actually asked my friend who is sober how one knows if they’ve got a problem and they asked me if I ever had a dui. I said no and he said alcoholics can’t control their drinking enough to avoid legal ramifications in most cases. I think my problem is more social drinking. I get nervous and use alcohol for social lubrication and tend to overdo it. Sometimes this leads to embarrassing memories and often hangovers. That’s the part I need to work on. Not overdoing it in these situations.

As far as parenting goes, you are not lazy but any stretch of the imagination and your feelings are perfectly valid and normal. I’m an introvert so need space and down time each day. When my kids were younger and clingy and needy, I thought I was going to go mad some days. Parenting is hard especially since it sounds like you’ve got some intense kiddos like mine. Modern parenting is even harder because we don’t have the social support families used to have. Breaks are limited.

My unsolicited advice would be to actually be lazier. I know this sounds terrible but maybe let them have a little more electronic and/or tv time and give yourself a little more me time. They’ll be fine really. I know that goes against your true values but whatever you decide, do put your sanity first. Maybe more date nights out?

Also know it’ll get easier. They will get more independent, spend more time with friends and sleep till noon. Hang in there and cut yourself some slack. Parenting is tough.
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"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15- 202 lbs;
1/16- 172 lbs;
9/17-177 lbs;
1/18-162 lbs;
9/18-154 lbs;









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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 496
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 10:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry Christmas Auto! I love Linda’s advice, be more lazy. I agree. Often the thing to do is the opposite of what the strict Agony Aunt in our minds would say. And I too think you are an amazing parent.

I’m skiving right now, laying on the bed with the iPad instead of hoovering and tidying. FIL is due any minute. Maybe I’ll go and heat up some mulled wine....
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
Posts: 204

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hugs from here. I don't have kids, and honestly don't know how people raise children (particularly at the toddler and teenage stages) and stay sane. I think one really needs to take the l-o-n-g view -- that eventually they'll turn into lovely, wonderful adults and that will be awesome. It happened / is happening with many of my nieces and nephews and friends' kids. But that's probably little comfort when a kid is giving you attitude now and you fantasize about escaping your life.

So I'm definitely not one to give parenting advice. I do know something about overindulging as escapism, though -- in my case gorging myself on sweets and fatty foods and other crap after my parents died. Eventually what happened was they were still gone but I was also 14 lbs heavier and objectively that seemed like a pretty stupid thing to do. But at the time, I was so angry and bereft that NO ONE WAS GOING TO TELL ME I COULDN'T EAT WHATEVER I WANTED.

That's a really really strong impulse. It helped when my doctor told me that eating healthy wasn't deprivation, it's a kindness to myself. The flip side of that is that eating a lot of junk wasn't really treating myself. So I started to pay careful attention to how I felt while and after I was eating that stuff. Not judging, just observing honestly.

And if I was honest with myself, after a reasonable amount, overindulging wasn't really fun. And how I felt afterwards definitely wasn't.

NoS was the final piece in the puzzle for me. Maybe it's worth trying the NoS rules with wine - only have it on S days? That structure has really helped me deal with overindulging on sweets and snacks. It's a reasonably good balance for me between sweets abstinence (which isn't going to work long term) and having too much. It took months, but I now seem to at least sometimes naturally moderate how much food I eat on S days.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Sharon and Octavia.
Sharon - so many similarities between these pseudo-self-care overindulges, aren't there? Im going to reread your post and the others when i get home to my laptop tomorrow. Me and my phone aren't good at long typing.
I feel like I'll have lots to think about.
Christmas day - major SDay
Sausage egg&bread casserole - seconds
Breakfast roll - seconds
Coffee with milk
1 cookie
1 Clementine

Ham - seconds
Scalloped potatoes - seconds
Raspberry jello - seconds

4 sugar cookies
2 glasses of wine
2 egg nog/whiskey drinks

No surprise fasting blood glucose was 98 this morning

No exercise or spending yesterday. I didn't read to creator either

We had a great day! Today going to movies with lots of kids
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wed
B: Coffee with milk, 2 breakfast rolls, eggs & bacon
L: Sugar cookie, ham & scalloped potatoes
Movie popcorn & diet coke
D: chicken tortilla casserole & raspberry jello
Dessert: sugar cookies
4 glasses of wine! Last night - we lived it up pretty good.
My sister in law & I had a great time chatting. We realized after 20 years that both of us always thought we were the sister in law that didn't fit in. Haha
On road headed home.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, I'm home!!! Thanks again to all that supported me when I had my alcohol-break-down. I'm still sorting through things and trying to consider good ways to moderate without over-restricting and causing rebellion.

Thursday - Dec. 27th

B: bacon & eggs, coffee w/milk
during drive: diet coke
L: 1 chicken nugget, maybe a couple ounces of fancy cheese (I think it's a super sharp aged cheddar)
D: yogurt w/berries
2 glasses of wine
128 ounces water

Moving
nope - although I did have a good walk yesterday that I didn't log, so overall it was a decent amount of exercise compared to my usual during visiting relatives

Spending
nothing today, yesterday I had to pick up a few things at Trader Joe's again, and then movie popcorn

Reading
not last night, and tonight I just want to veg and go to bed early. We stayed up so late last night. Kids too! Well, lol, I was in bed by 11:30, but for this girl, that is so late! Wink

I got some great presents this year - pretty scarves, LEG WARMERS(!), wireless headphones for my morning walk/jogs.

So so tired tonight!
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Friday, Dec. 28th

127.9 (wow, I must be dehydrated because I was expecting a much higher number. maybe it will hit tomorrow once I've rehydrated after traveling.)

Fasting Blood Glucose: 84

Eating
B: coffee w/milk
L: grilled burgers w/ cheese, bacon, guacamole, onion, tomato
D: yogurt and berries for me, kids will be trickier (grilled cheese sandwiches). Challenger13 has a bball game at 5:45.
2 glasses of wine

Moving
(will be) Clean house

Spending
Local Grocery - $47 - yogurt, onion, tomatoes, bread, hamburger buns, chocolate milk, regular milk, pastured eggs
Costco planned - $87 - salad, mushrooms, avocados, steak, salmon burgers, deodorant, sliced cheese

Reading
Maybe? I'm feeling super tired and not motivated for much of anything, and craving a break from Creator9's constant stream of chatter (which requires lots of responses, not just nods...he asks so many questions! LOL, wonder where he gets that from). When I read that Linda's kids are with grandma for a bit, I was like, ..... oooooh, jealous. Having family to take kids is perfect, because it's good for the kids and it's good for the parents (and grandparents). We visited grandparents Thanksgiving and Christmas (different sets) and since I was there, it's not a break. I need to work on the drop-them-off technique.

Found a little dog on Petfinder that I want. Smile 14 pounds, somehow a tiny australian cattle dog - says she's good with cats (they even have a pic of her curled up with one), dogs, and kids. She's almost 2. Sexy does not want another animal.......
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


Last edited by automatedeating on Sat Dec 29, 2018 4:16 am; edited 2 times in total
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 458
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's great for kids to grow up with pets but they are trying. Love our border collie but he's ageing now!

I wanted him, hubby didn't, difficult

Jx
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 1000

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2018 8:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bluetooth headphones FTW! I got a pair on my birthday at the beginning of December, and I just can't live without them. We also have two more things in common right now: I didn't have any time to properly sit at the Christmas table either since I was chasing after N all the time, aaaaaand we're almost at the same weight Cool
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Imogen - I super love my headphones too! Smile I've been listening to books and DietDoctor podcasts in the morning, and I'm recovering my own intellectual pursuit joy. Smile That said, um, when my kids were little like yours, that was NOT happening, haha. I couldn't even go on a walk without having to bring them, and they were never happy for long in the stroller.

Saturday

S Day

127.5

Eating
B: latte & egg bites from Starbucks
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
D: yogurt w/ berries
2 glasses of wine

Moving
2 separate walk/jogs at Challenger13's basketball tournament. I didn't expect this of myself, because it's an S Day, but I actually felt a bit energetic and wanted to listen to more of the podcast between Dave Feldman and Ivor Cummins about all-things-cholesterol. And I get pretty antsy sitting around between basketball games. Heading out to the Semi-Finals this afternoon. Challenger's team has improved since last year.
Then for fun while we had to work in the Concessions stand Creator and I did "pistol squats". Yeah. Try 'em. Cool

Spending
Starbuck's in the morning for breakfast - then about $6 for snacks for boys at the games. Oh, and then Sexy picked up a Costco pizza for dinner.

ReadingtoCreator
Nah....

Sunday, December 30th

127.0

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: tri-tip steak & mushrooms & caesar salad - fantastic meal, but I ended up overdoing it with the steak and with some tortilla chips & guacamole while I waited for the steak to finish. I'm a teensy bit bummed, because overall this was shaping up as a great S Day. But hey - it IS an S Day, so at least it was all delicious and I enjoyed every bite.
2 glasses of wine
dessert: 4 pieces of Halloween candy

Moving
walk/jog in the woods with HappyHerder. Then did pull-ups and chin-ups and bear walk and some shoulder stretches (from my Elements program). Sore from those pistol squats!

Spending
No plans. I really hope we don't spend money at the tournament tonight.

Reading
We won't be home until late, so no.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


Last edited by automatedeating on Mon Dec 31, 2018 2:42 pm; edited 2 times in total
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ladybird30



Joined: 07 May 2017
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can only dream about being able to do a pistol squat. Maybe one day....
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sharon227



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I just looked up pistol squats. It seems unlikely I'll be adding them to my workout routine anytime soon! (reverse lunges are enough for me at the moment).
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bwahahaha you guys - pistol squats! Creator and I were just fooling around doing them and we had to hang on to a beam for balance. But still -- just fooling around can be exercise, apparently. Smile

Reflection on 2018:
Last December, I really kicked it into a higher gear with my diet. I decided I was done with sugar/processed foods (on N Days, that is). In hindsight, that was a very nice intro to the more strict approach I began to implement in July/August. I also think I sort of went off the rails (I'd need to check my journal) between March and June. But overall, I went from a sort of unformed "Why?" to an extremely well-formed "Why?" this year.

For me, it's all about blood sugar control and kidney stone avoidance for myself and for my kids. And I care about both of those things because blood sugar is really the main thing that tracks best with cardiovascular disease AND cancer. I care about kidney stones NOT just because I want to avoid the pain, but because my stone formation has damaged my kidneys a little bit and I want to avoid further damage. And, this "relates" strongly to my kids (pun intended) because both my predisposition to diabetes and my formation of kidney stones are strongly hereditary.

Victories include more than weight loss this year, so much more, in fact:
1) Weight loss: I think I lost almost 15 pounds this year. My high was 147 Shocked for a bit but my typical hover-point has been 142/143. As I've said many times, Vanilla NoS keeps me from gaining, but I had to change my meals (within the framework of NoS, which I adore) to lose weight.
2) Exercise: I finally found a good groove with my morning walk/jogs. I love them, HappyHerder loves them, my Audible subscription loves them, my new wireless headphones love them. Smile
3) Stress Reduction: This is a biggie, and not entirely from things I did on purpose. My stint as Division Chair finally ended in June. Is it a coincidence that I started eating much healthier and exercising more since then? I don't think so! I guess the take-away is that when I DO have choices about adding stress (or not), choose the NOT. Wink Some conscious choices made to help reduce stress include - putting kids in school (no homeschooling this year), not checking email (much) after I get home from work and for almost all day on Sunday, and saying no to any work obligations that were not required -- including the motto this year of "There is No Meeting Worth Attending". I haven't gotten out of every meeting with this motto (indeed, I've even had a couple productive ones) but I HAVE gotten out of a remarkable number. I even am perfecting the email that says something along the lines of, "I trust that those in attendance will represent my opinions well and I will support the committee's decision". Twisted Evil That's the best.
4) Good sleep year - I became almost obsessive about getting in bed by 9pm. Up at 6am, even on weekends. I like this routine.
5) Survived a year of puberty-laden Challenger. Smile I'm going to count that. I shed MANY tears and Sexy & I had many late night discussions about how to raise this strong-willed, beautiful, and talented child. We make continual mistakes (and many of you know I feel that I'm sort of in the bottom tier of parents skill-wise), so I hesitated listing this, but then I realize I do feel some pride and sense of accomplishment that for each push against us Challenger made - Sexy and I (eventually) find a push-back that we feel is firm, fair, and yet still loving. We know the road is long (oh don't we ever know that), but we will keep putting one foot in front of another.
6) Finances! Another year of YNAB. Love it, can't imagine my budget without it. We didn't get ahead this year, since we put the kids in a more expensive private school, and the costs of their activities seems to continually balloon, but we are spending much less on groceries and household than we have in years.
7) Meal-planning and shopping lists! I should have put this first! Last summer I began making a menu every week (in Google Keep), and then a shopping list based off of it (also in Google Keep). Each week I'd go to Costco and then the local grocery store, and then stick with that menu. Phenomenally successful, and I'm still scratching my head as to what made it work so well and this long. It's certainly not the first attempt I've made over the years. I THINK my previous subscriptions to the box meal companies (Home Chef was a our main one) actually gave me confidence and reasonable skills to not feel completely overwhelmed at making a meal (thank you Home Chef!). Also, now that I use just very simple ingredients, I really just have to know how to do simple things with meat or vegetables. No fancy sauces. Meat and veggies taste pretty good all on their own or doused in butter. Dinner usually only takes 30 minutes to fix. Sexy does all dishes so I'm done once dinner is served.

OK, I think that mostly covers 2018.

2019 goals
1) Mobility: My biggest (new) goal this year is to keep my body mobile. I'm doing this with regular walk/jogs, but this year I want to add in more bodyweight and mobility work (see Elements GMB if you're curious what I mean about this). I want to see if I can reverse some nagging joint pain and recover the more fluid movement of my 20's. Seeing my mom suffer from joint pain (both hips replaced, total knee replacement, both feet surgeries, rotator cuff surgery, carpal tunnel surgery), and my mother-in-law (a similar litany of surgeries) inspires me to take care of myself better AND to help my kids, since they have inherited these tendencies from both sides of the family.

2) Peace with alcohol: Because this is such a challenge for me, I am not making any kind of a resolution for the year. Rather, I will take this one week at a time. I am a little frustrated with the amount of TIME I spend worrying about this issue. Like, enough already! I've got a life to live and lots to do. So, I'm trying something that feels a little risky, but I'm hoping I've gotten myself to that point where I am sick of being on the fence with this. I've decided.....drum roll...... to set up a drinking plan that is IDEAL. That's right. You heard me right. Why bother trying to reduce or quit entirely when I feel that I know what is probably healthiest long-term? Aim for the stars, Auto!!! LOL, and hopefully I will not crash & burn on the way down. So, what do I consider healthiest? 7 drinks per week, with days off. So. Friday and Sunday - 2 or 3 drinks allowed. One weekday (date night) 2 more drinks allowed. This makes Saturday always alcohol free, and probably Monday. Date night moves around. S Days will be allowed for special occasions, which I can plan for weekly when I make my menu. LOL, seeing as TODAY is Monday (New Year's Eve), I am starting my plan on an S Day. I find this poetically fitting, seeing as I almost always started NoS or my other systems on S Days. Laughing
Whatever happens, I'll be recording alcohol intake on this thread to keep myself honest. Wish me luck on this one.

3) Saving to buy a car: Financially, we'd like to save $10,000 to replace my old Corolla with a newer version. I have $2000 saved so far. I'm also trying to save toward $3000 for a California visit next Christmas, but that is a lower goal than the car one.

Monday, December 31st!

126.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 76 Cool
Morning Blood Pressure: 112/72 Cool

I have this entire week off from school and I am just super excited to clean my house and work on some other projects.
One health project will be a formal testing of some of my standard meals and their effects on my blood glucose. Today I will test my yogurt & berries meal and then my beef bowl meal (both staples currently).
Update: before meal = 90; 1 hour post = 95; 2 hours post = 110; 3 hours post = 90
I'd say that meal is very blood glucose-friendly and will happily remain in the rotation.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, eggs & bacon
L: yogurt w/berries: will test blood glucose baseline, and then 1, 2, and 3 hours after the meal
D: New Year's Eve: some steak bites left over from yesterday, copious amounts of three cheese jalapeno dip with tortilla chips, equivalent of small bag of reese's pieces + a few squares of a chocolate bar
3 glasses of wine - I could have had plenty more, so count this a victory, actually.

As an aside, my WORST glucose spikes (in the 160's) occur after any type of pasta, which is why I don't have it anymore. Spaghetti, fettuccine. Oh, and also after McDonald's, which I suspect is a combo factor of the sugary buns they use + the french fries. It would be interesting to test after only the burger and bun if I were to skip the fries. But my McDonald's days are in the past. My kids rarely even get to eat there anymore. I think I can count that as a 2018 victory. Smile

Moving
(Plan to) walk/jog with dog once it's light out. It's kind of a treat to get to walk in the light for a few days. Also I (will do) my Elements Program.
Update - no walk today. Put away all the holiday decorations instead, which turns into a mini-workout getting in and out of the garage in the freezing cold a zillion times. Rolling Eyes I did do part of the Elements program, but didn't do it completely.

Spending
No plans - Oh, I take that back. I might buy some sort of storage cabinet for the kitchen. Between Creator's clay projects, board games, and my paperwork, we need something in this room. Trying to keep most of it upstairs is just not realistic.

Reading
(will be) to read one chapter of Gregor. One of my goals this week is to finish Gregor #3. Update - stinking fail again! On the bright side, Creator and I did do a solar system mobile today and we did a cat puzzle together and we all played board games, so it doesn't feel as bad as some failed reading days.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

January 1, 2019

128.3

fasting blood glucose: 90

Eating:
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: beef bowl w/onions, mushrooms, avocado slices, tomatoes, and cheese (quesadillas for kids)
No Alcohol Day -- SUCCESS

Moving
not sure what my plans are. I still need to put the tree away and do a lot of cleaning. Definitely want to do Elements Program but not sure about a walk/jog. Update - definitely did lots of Elements. Got the kids doing it with me: Bear into Frogger into Monkey. Smile Looks just like it sounds, fun little workouts that are more like playing than anything else. My goals are to "limberize" my shoulders, elbows, wrists, and hips. I'm officially ready to start Week 3 of the program (it's 8 weeks total).

Spending
No plans

Reading
Gregor planned! Wish me luck! -- SUCCESS! We read Chapter 24 and just have three more chapters left in the book.
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8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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TexArk



Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 780
Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, fellow tracker. ...What glucose monitor do you use? and do you ever check ketones?
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tex - I use the Ultra Touch 2. It is a cheap monitor but the strips are ridiculously expensive, like 1.25/strip. So, I'm going to switch to a new monitor. I think I'll just check around on Amazon and see which one has the cheapest strips.

I bought urine ketone strips (they are very cheap on Amazon!), but I haven't used them much and so far I've never tested positive for ketones. That's not currently a goal of mine but I have it in the back of my head that I might seasonally try to dip into ketosis for the benefits of autophagy and I'm a bit curious if my joint pain might improve.

Wednesday, January 2nd

127.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 88
Morning Blood Pressure: 111/66
Eating
B: coffee w/milk, maybe eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: date night - cheeseburger, salad, and 1 onion ring
if date night, alcohol allowed; otherwise, not - Update - I failed here. Yes, it was an alcohol allowed day; but my limit was supposed to be 2 or 3 and I had more like 5. Embarassed
This is disturbing, because that is not typical for me at all. It reeks of a binge after restricting. I find it fascinating that my alcohol situation is so similar to what I read on these forums about sugar eating. Are they really so similar? If so, I guess the news is out: sugar addicts and alcohol addicts can understand what each other are going through. Anyway, very discouraging that I drank too much. I have a headache this morning and was awake for about an hour last night - I'm sure the alcohol disturbed my sleep.
OK, so obviously having some alcohol every day (like many on these boards decide to do to deal with the sugar binges) is NOT a safe strategy for alcohol. So. I guess I'll just view this was calm curiosity, try not to beat myself up, and mark it and move on. Trust me, I realize I may have to throw in the towel and become a tea-totaller, but I need to get there at my own pace.

Moving
(will be) Elements - yesterday's workout was so fun. I basically crawl around on the floor like a bear, a monkey, or a frog. Then I do transitions from one movement to the next and I feel very graceful and strong. Today I will be practicing a new move called "Bent Arm Bear" which focuses the crawl pressure more on the shoulders.
Also, (will probably be) walk/jog with HappyHerder, although I realize I'm focusing less on that on these days I'm home and wanting to clean.
Update - no formal Elements, definitely no walk with dog. Focused on cleaning and organizing all day.

Spending
Maybe date night, no other plans

Reading
Chapter 25 of Gregor is the goal - Update - no reading. Do you see a trend? Alcohol also typically means I don't read to my rapidly growing up sweet little boy.

Netflix has a new show called "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo". Warning - you will have the insatiable desire to organize your home after watching, and you will also find yourself shedding tears of joy with the families.
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Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
Posts: 204

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read Marie Kondo's book and got inspired to start cleaning out my house. I went through a reasonable amount of clothes but never got to the other stuff. I do still fold up my clothing nicely before putting it in drawers, though. Would love to get back to it and get rid of the mountains of clutter in my house. I do think healthy living and uncluttered living space are related somehow. Sorry I don't have Netflix to watch the series!

Interesting what you wrote about having to change your meals even within vanilla NoS. I probably need to do that as well. I doubt I'll be able to lose much if I keep eating so many refined carbs.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3911
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excited to look at that series and maybe it’ll motivate me to deal with these closets! Did you come up with a good plan for managing alcohol? I decided to count how many dry days I have this month and then try to beat that each month till I’m down to at least more dry days then not.

Wishing you a happy 2019!!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, Sharon, the PAPER piles are the toughest for me, but somehow I pushed through yesterday and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. I did even go through Sexy's drawers (we normally handle all our own laundry) and fold everything her way - he was so delighted! Smile

Linda - Yes, I have a plan. But I had to update last night to describe my most recent failure. The plan is I can drink 2-3 drinks on Friday, Sunday, and date night (which moves around depending on the week). I successfully had a dry Tuesday but then last night for Date night I had 5 drinks. Confused That has not typically been a problem of mine so it raised all kinds of questions for me.

Thursday, January 3rd

127.1
Fasting Blood Glucose: 79
Morning Blood Pressure: 108/60

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, avocado on toast
L: yogurt w/berries
Snack: very hungry for some reason so had a glass of milk
still hungry and tired so had another mug of milky coffee
D: leftover steak salad, leftover cheese dip with tortilla chips
No Alcohol Day

Moving
*Finish up collecting yard debris from the backyard (which is very small, so this is a short project).
*Collect all holiday garbage and recycling in preparation for garbage day. Clean out garage (bummer that it is rainy today; I should have done this yesterday). Oh, well.
*Elements - Bent-arm Bear
*One short jog around block w/ HappyHerder just to say I did. Wink
Update - sheesh I was very low-key. Read books all day (about drinking and addiction, in case you are curious....) and took a bath. Think I needed a bit of self-care and private reflection time.

Spending
No plans

Reading
Chapter 25 in Gregor, also want to do a science kit with Creator today.

I have a good method to avoid alcohol. #1 - I am going to volunteer for almost all of the late night sport pick ups. By staying out of the house and on the move I will have no choice but to avoid drinking. Tonight I am doing the 8:30 pickup.
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8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Friday, January 4th

127.2
Fasting Blood Glucose: 82
Morning Blood Pressure: 106/73

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 2 eggs, 1/2 piece of avocado on toast
L: yogurt w/ berries
D: hot dog w/ onions & cheese
Alcohol Allowed - 2 drink max
Update - ergh had 3 drinks. Been reading lots and I'm getting onboard a program called "Moderation Management". Sounds like it fits with my current goals and they have an online support system. I will be looking into this.

Moving
Unlike the last couple of days, I don't even feel reasonably interested in exercise. I find myself withdrawing from activity as the quarter start approaches. Today is technically a work day, but I will just be working from home. Monday looms. I have dearly enjoyed my vacation and I think my home, family, and pets have enjoyed my nearly undivided attention. Smile

Spending
Costco and local grocery sort of planned. I feel so lazy I might put it off until tomorrow.
Update - $93 at Costco and $53 at local grocery. Been buying more at local grocery, where they have pasture-raised eggs (oh the glorious perky tall orange yolks!), and local grass-fed yogurts.

Reading
Gregor still planned. Another fail last night. I got so engrossed reading my own book that I didn't read to Creator.

We have the option of taking in an older dog (she is 5), another Aussie like HappyHerder. I met her yesterday. She has adorable puppies and she'll be ready for a home in a couple of weeks. Sounds like she has mostly lived in a kennel and she only now is learning potty-training. She is very sweet, good with kids, quite calm & quiet. Not sure how she is with cats. She seems like she would bond very tightly with me, which actually gives me pause. I'd hope for a dog that bonds with the kids as well, but that just doesn't seem to be a normal thing. Most of the dogs I know are bonded to the momma of the house, for probably obvious reasons. Maybe in the old days the kids were the primary caregivers of pets, haha.

OK, back to my reading. It's called "Drinking: A Love Story". It's an old book from the '90's about about a woman's alcoholism and eventual recovery.
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Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 1000

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My friend runs a foster home for cats, and I have two of my own. I've never ever seen a cat bonding with a kid, even the sweetest and nicest one. I don't have any experience with dogs, though. Our older cat adores my husband, loves me, stays away from N. Our younger one adores me, likes my husband, and tolerates N. We used to say N needs a cat for herself... after reading your entry I'm not so sure anymore.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you took a little time for yourself. I really love taking a bath while reading. How are liking the books?
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liking the books, Linda. Smile And I have joined a new forum called Moderation Management. I also just shelled out $34 for an app called "Drinker's Check-Up". I may also separate drinking out into its own category of tracking this year.

Saturday, Jan 5

S Day

126.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 89
Morning Blood Pressure & Pulse: 109/72 - 70

Eating
B: coffee w/ milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
snack: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert 1: handful of reece's pieces & 3 pieces of chocolate (that I had put in the freezer since New Year's Eve!). I put them back in the freezer and the fam and I can finish them tomorrow.
D:pizza during Seahawk Playoff Game
feeling a teensy bit - rovey - about wanting food. I think it's because normally I would have a glass of wine right now. How disordered is that? Apparently I have been using alcohol as a way to avoid eating.... yeeks!
dessert 2: bowl of vanilla ice cream
dessert 3: reese's pieces (got them BACK out of the freezer) Wink
Yep, a bit of a wild S Day.

Drinking
Abstinence Day
I joined a forum on Moderation Management. I signed in as automatedeating, which I think makes perfect sense but the other posters may raise their eyebrows. Smile For the most part I'll be tracking here, but I'd like to read posts on their forum. I spent a couple hours taking various assessments to see where I'm at on the drinking spectrum. It was pretty eye-opening to see how much more I drink than other women my age.
So. My game plan will use NoS principles:
--4 N Days (Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday)
--3 S Days (Friday, Sunday, Wednesday (Date Night))
Limit on S Days 2-3 drinks
Methods to stay Green on N Days include getting out of the house or getting out of the kitchen/living room.
*Volunteer for all late night kid pick ups
*Go on "Night-Walker" with dog and maybe kid or two at about 7:30pm
*Head upstairs to read or take a bath about 8pm.
*Do shopping errands on weeknights instead of weekends
*Have a "library night" where I just hang out by myself at the library for an hour.
*Foster a hobby. This is a hard one but I think it could be the missing piece.

Actually, I think a large piece of the puzzle is that I am a cerebral introvert that needs LARGE chunks of time alone to explore, process, and prepare to interact. Such LARGE chunks of time that the need physically cannot be met due to my current life obligations. However, my kids are getting bigger, and I think I'm to the point where it will be better for them if I take care of my needs (at least mostly) rather than stay home with them but not really "be" there for them. I know it's never as black-and-white as that, and more of teeter-totter of quality vs. quantity of time, but at this point I'm ready to try leaving them more, sort of like a momma dog that is trying to wean her puppies. Laughing

I have spent a lot of time contemplating why I like to drink, and what my triggers are. I have a long list of situations and reasons, but I think it boils down to one main reason -

#1 it allows me to "numb out" or "get through" situations that I don't like, whether due to boredom or anger.

I need to explore this a bit more, but I also think that drinking is inextricably tied to my marriage. Because when I am frustrated with my husband's passivity on so many levels, drinking "numbs me out" or "gets me through" the situation without yelling at him or considering the situation infuriating.

In summary, I deal with the boredom of kid events (think concerts and birthday parties), the boredom of social outings (think double dates or parties), the annoyance of interacting with my kids, the annoyance of interacting with my husband - I deal with all of that by having wine. So. Yikes.
If I were to be honest and say no to all these activities, how would that change my life and my marriage? I would be the biggest homebody ever. And, how would it affect my marriage if I expressed more of my frustrations at my husband's passivity? How ironic if I stopped drinking so much and ended up divorced. What would my kids think if I was gone more often?

So many questions. No easy answers. But I think I have a nice project for data collection and careful observation of my own craziness for 2019. Rolling Eyes

Moving
No plans
actually, ended up taking a short walk to Creator's basketball game, since the game was nearby

Spending
$34 on a drinker's check-up app (put my $ where my mouth is) - I also signed up for Moderation Management, an online drinking control forum. I can't see myself having two separate online journals, though, so I think I'll just read over there for inspiration and motivation.

Reading
Chapter 26 of Gregor tonight is the goal.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9431
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think divorce, drinking, or yelling are NOT your only options. Wink

I, too, am on the introvert spectrum and don't know how I would have managed with kids. I'll bet you'll find a way that doesn't do irreparable damage to either side.

In any case, here's to 2019. I guess I can still say that until the end of the weekend.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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ladybird30



Joined: 07 May 2017
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another cerebral introvert here. I know intellectually that other people enjoy noisy get togethers where they stand around and yell at each other, but really I just don't get it. I mostly get my socialising doing outdoor activities with other people, as well as being on committees where I have a defined role and can interact on that level. I most enjoy time with small groups of friends that I have known for a long time.

During times in my life when I have been under a lot of stress, and comfort eating wasn't an option, I used to escape by going for walks by myself.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 458
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I admire how you are willing to tackle your drinking. Take it slowly whilst you form new habits. Abstinence days are good and filling those days with things that mean you can't drink is a good move.

I sometimes think we drink too much. Generally I wouldn't drink Mon to Thursday but some meals I cook cry out for a glass of a wine. Mostly I wouldn't bother but my oh says oh shall we have a glass of wine with this.......

I am going to try and limit those sort of meals in the week.

It's important to make time for you, you'll be a better wife and mother for it. Make the changes slowly and family won't notice. And you are right, kids need less time as they get older.

Good luck, and next week I hope will be my first no drink Mon - Thurs, let's support each other Smile

Jx
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala - yes, we shall hope that such a cerebral problem-solver as myself can come up with some better solutions for dealing with my anger and boredom, yes? Razz

Ladybird - your description of the interactions with people that you enjoy pretty much matches mine exactly. Maybe that's why I get all so excited about your "group walks" that I find so impressive! I think my morning walks with HappyHerder are key to having time alone that "recharges" me.

Soprano - thank you for your support! I like how you discussed that I need to form new habits. Even though alcohol over-drinking is kind of taboo/stigma to chat about openly, the truth is that change regarding it is no different than tackling overeating. Habit building and consistency. And tracking successes and failures.

Aside and my personal opinions here regarding sweets and alcohol:

I have come to believe that what I will call "regular" overeating (mindless snacking like I did pre-No-S, seconds, sweets) can be tackled successfully with NoS. What I will call my "regular" overdrinking (having too much wine daily) will hopefully fall into suit with NoS principles. Granted, it took me FIVE years to feel really confident about NoS with food. So, it could be a bumpy road.

Then there is "compulsive" over"sweeting" and compulsive over"drinking". Both of these situations prove to be far more difficult to tackle on one's own and to moderate with something as gentle as NoS. Just as a compulsive over"drinker" can't have a couple of drinks on a Friday night and then get back to abstinence the next day, neither can a compulsive over"sweeter" have cake on Sunday night at a birthday party and then avoid sweets all week. The decision I see from people to completely give up sweets (not even having them on S Days) reflects this uncomfortable reality. I applaud this effort, the same as for compulsive over"drinkers" that give up alcohol entirely. I may end up having to do that. With sweets, I was a "regular" over"sweeter" and NoS accommodates me perfectly. I am now in this trial time of facing up to if/how I can moderate my alcohol with purposeful tracking. If I fail, and fail, and fail, I might wisely ended up quitting for good. But just like someone that has to give up sweets forever truly has to give up something that can be "sweet" in this life (enjoying the taste of sugar without guilt), I think it's understandable and reasonable that I would try to explore moderation before quitting alcohol forever.

One other last foray into the similarities of over"sweeting" and overdrinking: on these boards, I often see over"sweeters" choose a mod of having a sweet every day. This seems to work for some of them, although it's always a mod I raise my eyebrows at and squirm a little. Believe it or not, that works for my overdrinking, too, I think. From my personal experience, if I have a glass of wine every day, I am less likely to have a day where I have 3 glasses. So my moderation plan presents a challenge in which abstinence days make the drinking days trickier to moderate! But it is clear in our society (I think, anyway) that drinking EVERY day is not a path to a great life (haha). What is NOT clear in our society is if having sweets every day is a good life plan. Maybe, just like alcohol, it depends on the individual. Those predisposed to diabetes (or those that have it) should NOT be having sweets every single day. Similarly, those predisposed to alcoholism should NOT be drinking every day. Uh-oh, this presents a thought question for all of you over"sweeters": social/healthy pattern drinkers would never think to have a drink every day; likewise, should those that don't have a problem with sweets even consider the need to have a sweet every day?

OK, on to my day. And oh the glorious morning quiet.

Sunday, Jan 6

128.8 (up 2 pounds from yesterday's emotional eating)

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, maybe eggs
L: nachos w/ guac & cheese
D:grilled burgers w/ avocado, cheese, onion, tomato, bacon
dessert: (will be) vanilla ice cream

Drinking
S Day - 2 drink max. Methods to avoid a third glass include a "drinking" window - between 5pm and 7:30pm, tracking the glasses on my chart - having a glass of water in between the two glasses.....waiting at least 1 hour between drinks.

Moving
I might walk to church this morning. Well, I ended up walk/jogging with HappyHerder for a half hour and then also decided to walk home from church. Then I did quite a bit of my Elements program (bear, frogger & monkey!)

Spending
I guess I'll be buying a bottle of wine. This is kind of embarrassing to have all this so out in the open for everyone. Isn't it funny how I even try to protect an online anonymous reputation? Humans. We are funny.

Reading
We finished Gregor last night! So next up is one of the following - Harry Potter #5, Incorrigible Children #2, Gregor #4, Hobbit (I always put in the plug for this one but usually get voted down), maybe some others will come up. We could also take a break from a formal novel and read from our Mythology or Troll books. Those collections have great illustrations and mythology is just straight-up wildly fun.
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
Posts: 204

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so happy for you that you are examining your drinking to figure out what will ultimately be best for you.

I have a big issue with sweets. And although there is some debate in the scientific literature as to whether sugar is "addictive," researchers have definitely shown that sugar lights up the same area in the brain as cocaine does (just not as strong).

There was a time at work where I was having 2 and 3 "fun-size" bags of M&Ms each afternoon. And that's just not healthy for a lot of reasons - sugar, saturated fat, extra calories. 2 or 3 glasses of wine a day sounds kind of the same to me - a lot of extra, nutritionally-almost-empty calories in the week, apart from issues of whether that's a healthy amount specifically for alcohol.

A few thoughts on my years of dealing with overconsuming sweets:

There are different types of sweets for me. Some always trigger overeating. Others only trigger overeating when I'm otherwise not eating moderately. I think the issue isn't only "sugar" but the combination of sugar and other ingredients (and whether something is highly processed and engineered to make it addictive). I think snacking on corn-syrup-laden junk food is particularly a problem as opposed to having a high-quality sweet with a meal in part because of how my body reacts to the junk alone without other moderating foods.

I'm no expert on alcohol, but my guess is that drinking a glass of wine with a complete healthy meal will be different than having a couple of glasses of wine at a bar without accompanying food.

The few times I did the 2-week South Beach Diet Phase One (no carbs), it did what was advertised -- reset my body so that healthy carbs like fruits tasted sweeter, and some things I liked when out of control tasted too sweet. I think the 5-in-a-row NoS no sweets days each week do something similar for me. Having that block of days without sweets is helping me moderate my sweets consumption on S Days (which may be one reason why my 2 straight weeks of holidays made things a bit tougher) because my blood sugar is more stable instead of spiking and dropping throughout the week. I don't know if you want to think about trying a 2-week no alcohol reset or really sticking to only having alcohol on S days (although I know that makes a problem for date nights.)

I believe meditation is helping me with NoS. I only meditate for 3 minutes most mornings when I wake up. That might not be possible if you have kids, but it might be worth trying. 3 minutes a day isn't that much of a commitment. In fact, it may sound silly, and it certainly isn't going to be my path to enlightenment, but I'm just not up to doing 15 or 20 minutes right now. And 3 minutes is better than no minutes.

What those 3 minutes a day are doing over the long run, though, is strengthening my ability to examine my thoughts more objectively. When I start getting myself riled up, sometimes I can say "Oh, that's a thought, let it go." That's not going to help with deep fundamental unhappiness about your life. It does help me with some less important things, though, like when I'm trying to work and the phone rings for the 17th time with a junk call and I feel like throwing the phone against the wall.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 2:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts, Sharon! I really appreciate it!

I definitely also experience trigger foods as certain combos of delicious ingredients, and processed ingredients do it the worst (sort of with the theory of highly palatable foods being the ones we eat without stopping).

Definitely taking time off from alcohol is always good, and I did take September off. Indeed, at this point I am confident that I can take a month off if I decide to, and I guess I've chosen the harder option! I'm ready to see if keeping careful track of my green and red days can work for my alcohol moderation. I guess I wanted to jump right in to the test.

I really love your encouragement about meditation. And 3 minutes is an honest start! I have a hankering to get some "guided" meditations because the pure silence thing is pretty hard for me. I really hope you keep up (and even increase) your meditation times this year - they sound so helpful.

And then in the spirit of intellectual honesty - although it was peripheral in your overall post, I must admit to you here that I am of the minority that is convinced animal fat (and its higher proportion of saturated fat) is not only not a bad thing, but incredibly nutritious when part of a whole foods diet. Whether it's dairy or meat or eggs, my research has convinced me that I am better off eating these things than avoiding them. Just being honest, like I said, I know I am in the minority at this point.
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jenji



Joined: 26 Sep 2017
Posts: 502
Location: Cambridge

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

automatedeating wrote:
Saturday, Dec. 22

S Day!

127.8

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: tortilla chips & guacamole
dessert: piece of leftover Costco birthday cake
D: tortilla chips, cheese, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream
Alcohol: 2 glasses of wine

Moving
nothing

Spending
Local grocery - refried beans, pastured eggs, english muffins

Reading
nothing last night

Warning - alcohol ramble coming -
I'm sorry that you all have to see my constant alcohol struggle. Confused
Apologies in advance if this is all TMI - please skip if this is stressful or disgusting for you to read.....

But I think it's important for me to document it. I started a dry December and it's been a complete failure. I did a pretty good dry September and the first half of August, so I think I just picked a particularly bad time of year with December.

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. I think my sister is an alcoholic. My dad never drinks, my mom is very light in her drinking (although she has spoken of alcoholics on her side of the family). My other sister rarely drinks and seems to have no attraction to it. I've considered complete abstinence (lots of times), and I've considered MANY ways to moderate, and tried quite a few methods (I always fail). I was feeling mightily discouraged about ever being able to moderate. I was reading quite a bit yesterday about the efforts to moderate drinking. I guess it's not that common to fail, and then eventually some people decide to give it up forever. Others succeed at finding that moderation.

Here are the moderation efforts I have made:
*buy a certain amount at the start of the week and don't buy anymore when that's gone. Probable causes of failure - My husband will often bring home some and then I can't resist; or I buy some because I feel it justifies a particularly hard day.
*Picking certain days that are alcohol-free. Probable cause of failure - justification of extra day needed because I deserve to have a break

Here are some successes (however minimal they may be):
*I very rarely get drunk or feel that I had too much to drink. I'm quite good at sensing when I feel mildly relaxed and then stopping. The desire to avoid any bad feelings associated with alcohol is very good at stopping me from drinking too much.
*My moderation efforts at least successfully curt-tail steady, daily drinking. Even though I feel like a failure, these efforts keep me from sliding straight into alcoholism.
*I successfully have 1 or 2 dry months every year. I've done 40 days multiple times as well.

Here's what I like about drinking (red wine is my preference):
1. It relaxes me and sometimes helps me warm up a little
2. It is pleasurable tasting
3. My gut feeling is that it's potentially healthy for me, particularly cardiovascular health.
4. It keeps me from snacking in the evening, because it is like a special treat for me.
5. update/edit after this stream of consciousness entry -- it provides escape from the life that I feel trapped in. Shocked

What I don't like about my drinking:
1. It is almost every night and takes concerted effort to take nights off.
2. It could encourage my kids to use alcohol for coping.
3. It is expensive.
4. I occasionally drink too much and don't feel good the next day
5. I definitely drink over the recommended govt. guidelines. And yes, I keep track.

What would it look like for me to be comfortable with my drinking?
*it would include days off every week
*it would mean drinking 7 drinks max per week

I think I need to consider how many more attempts at moderation I will allow myself before I decide I just won't drink at all anymore.

Also, I find that I'm usually pretty good at sticking to my commitments, etc. Something about alcohol use is different for me (apparently, based on my repeated failures). It's as though I don't really want to stop or even reduce my drinking. I think there's a little rebel inside of me that is damned determined it deserves to get a few moments to itself everyday. The alcohol is an escape from the grind of my life.

I think I've possibly discussed this elsewhere, but I wonder if my alcohol use is similar to sugar addicts or overeating issues. Oolala is always telling people they will only stop when the desire to avoid the bad stuff is greater than the desire to indulge right now. Well.....I am not convinced that avoiding alcohol is really better for me health-wise (I know that there is evidence both ways, but sometimes these convictions are not really about data, you know what I mean???). Maybe that's not rational, but I'm not scared enough about alcohol consequences. So I have this very obvious internal struggle going on.

Yesterday I was contemplating that I do much better as a mom when I don't drink. I wondered if that would/could be the inspiration I need to make long-lasting improvements in my drinking. Update/edit upon rereading -- that's the whole problem!!! I think I'm already trying as hard as I can as a parent, and the alcohol is what I turn to when I can't take another second of domesticity.

I think that drinking is a way for me to escape the burdens and obligations of parenthood. It's like I don't have better coping skills. And I feel kind of angry imagining the suggestions people might give me -- go for a walk - take a bath - read a book - listen to music - run errands - do a craft - call a friend - clean the house - eat ice cream. None of these seem like adequate replacements. I really think there are so many things about raising kids that I just don't like and wish I didn't have to do. The constant discipline that Challenger13 requires wears out my last ATP molecule. And the nurturing that Creator9 needs sucks out my last generosity drip. Deep down, I'm super selfish and don't want to serve others. I like to do my own thing. The drudgery of life weighs down on me. There's always so much to do. I think I resent that I have so much to do. Uh-oh. Maybe that means deep down I'm super LAZY. Lazy and selfish, sounds delightful. How do healthy, non-drinking people cope with the stresses of life? My sister-in-law is raising 6 kids and she never drinks. I honestly get skin-crawly thinking about having to live her life. I'm sorry everyone. I sound terrible and probably you are thinking I never should have had children (go ahead and think it - I think it all the time....)

Is marijuana the new acceptable "escape" drug? Maybe I could stop drinking and use that instead. Smile
For a VERY short time, I had a Xanax prescription (Fall 2016). I've got to say, those pills were the best! That's the feeling I love, and I can totally see how I'm seeking that with alcohol. They even work on the same brain receptors.


Being a good parent is a drain. I only have one child, partly because as a single (divorced) mom there was no way I could have handled one more child, financially or emotionally. I still feel drained often with working and meeting her needs. When the demands come from all sides, it's hard not to be resentful. However, it is good to remind ourselves that parenting challenges, for most of us, will taper off in time. They are very different as our kids grow up, at least. So there is potential relief from the effort, down the road.

I don't have a good answer, but it seems as though you are thinking about the right things. Is the drinking worth it? Does drinking affect the kind of person I am or want to be? Is there anything else that could relieve the pressure of parenting that would be more healthy? Good luck with your moderation efforts.
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I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 168#, BMI 25.9- 11/18/2018
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for the empathy and support, Jen.

I do feel I am in a stronger place on this issue now, and I really am glad that Christmas holiday from teaching gave me the space to contemplate my needs and my overindulgences.

Newest revelation is that - oh, right - alcohol masks my anger at my husband.... ugh. not good when that mask is taken away and there aren't healthy conflict-resolution skills in place.

And, this is awful too - my hubby is not drinking either on my abs days, and I'd forgotten what a crank-pot he is to be around. He's one of those uptight people that's easier to be around when he has a beer. I know, I know, it's horrible and that makes me an enabler. Pandora's box of 2019, opened!

Monday, January 7

128.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, packed scrambled eggs to reheat when I'm actually hungry (will this in any way shape or form work? Well, I am an experimenter, we shall see)
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) beef bowl w/salad

Drinking
Abs Day

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
(will do) Elements this evening

Spending
No plans

Reading
last night read some Greek Mythology - maybe continue that tonight.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 1000

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Auto, I can only offer my sympathy. This weekend was emotionally tough for me precisely for the reasons you described, and I could have written your earlier post about the parenting challenges. I know how much it sucks when you need to recharge and don't have any time nor opportunity to do so. I like people in extremely small quantities, and having someone literally glued to you all the time is sometimes a living hell. I'm also territorial, and I'd gladly kick out P and N from the house just to have a couple of days alone with my books and my novel, forever in progress. Not gonna happen...
Sending virtual hugs your way.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 496
Location: UK

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Same here. It’s like we are living parallel lives! The anger, the search for coping methods, the desperation for time to do self-care! If only I had answers! I’m always escaping to the bedroom to write my journal - somehow the novel never gets written - I can spend hours up there, pouring my heart out into the pages (though trying not to say anything too incriminating!). Actually, maybe the journal is my coping method, and although it’s a relatively harmless one, it is like an addiction for me. It stops me actually getting on with life!

I’ve been doing quite a lot of contemplating over Christmas too! Let’s hope we find answers in 2019. Hugs from me too!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3911
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know it’s tough to confront this things but it’s part of the journey to finally getting to a better place with it all. And I have no doubt you will get through to the other side stronger and better because you’re one tough cookie.

I admire your willingness to confront these difficult situations. I was just thinking today how I use tv to numb myself. I keep it on during the day for “company “ but really I just don’t think I want to be alone with my thoughts too long. I realized I do that with wine too. Numb myself from uncomfortable feelings.

Wow, I was just looking for a quotation by maya angelou about how she never drank because she didn’t want to miss out on anything going on around her. I swear I remember seeing it somewhere but all I could find was how she struggled with her drinking and drank sherry everyday at 11am. I guess we’re in good company. (Not that either of us are drinking before noon.) Wink
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Imogen, Octavia, and Linda. Your support and encouragement really means so much to me. I have not shared my alcohol (or food journey, really) with others and - just so you know - you all know more about my inner life than probably anyone else. This is my online diary, after all. Smile

Happily, I am feeling great about my journey right now! I feel so empowered - I think formalizing my drinking is exactly what I needed. Before, I felt that healthy "social" drinkers would never need to do that, so I wanted to emulate that. Damn! Another food parallel!! We have all noticed that healthy slim people don't need NoS, lol!!! Well, in my case it is time to implement the gentle boundaries of NoS with alcohol and I feel really, really good about this. It's going great so far. Although in the car last night I was wondering how things will go when the quarter hits its inevitable high-stress points.

Tuesday, Jan 8
127.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) scrambled eggs ready to microwave when I'm hungry
L: yogurt w/berries
D: tuna melt salad (grilled cheese & tomato soup for kids)
dinner was early (4:15) because of various out-of-house kid activities. So I stopped for a latte and read my book in between basketball and trampoline class.

Drinking
Abs Day
(will) drive Creator to B-Ball and then trampoline and then home to keep away from temptation at home. Update - all good.

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
(will do) Elements Week 3 Day 4

Spending
No plans for today - oh, last night I went to the library w/Creator and got him an ice cream on the way home.

Reading
Last night read Cloudy w/ a chance of meatballs and Alexander, who used to be rich last Sunday. Fun to do some favorite picture books in between the novels.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 458
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great to hear the drinking plan is on track, so far I've abstained Smile

Though I did succumb to a piece of Christmas cake after dinner!

Jx
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soprano - avoiding sweets when I don't have wine definitely exercises my willpower. Sexy has ice cream pretty much every night that he doesn't have alcohol. A milky tea or latte does the trick for me. Or just a flavored sparkling water.

Wednesday, Jan 9

126.3

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, (will be) reheated scrambled eggs
L: yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) date night - update - had a french dip roast beef sandwich and a big green salad. To decrease the amount of bread, I took the bottoms off of the two sides and then stuck the thing back together. Twice the meat, half the bread. Decent solution to a restaurant that didn't have the greatest options. The sandwich was actually quite delicious.

Drinking
Date night means drink night. Smile
Ugh - I had 3 glasses over 3 hours - according to my Blood Alcohol Table, that put me at .08, legally intoxicated. Ergh. And my plan was 2 drink max, but I wasn't clear about that before the day started and didn't plan ahead to stick to that, so I ended up with that 3rd, completely unnecessary, glass. And just for curiosity sake, I felt very tipsy. So now I know how I feel at .08 (assuming my table is correct - it is based on my weight and gender).
OK, so mark it and move on. On my moderation management forum, I will post a general question on favorite techniques to make sure they stick to their planned limit. I have ideas I've read about, but I think I just need the moral support. Any you guys want to share are welcome, of course.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder

Spending
Date night $

Reading
Didn't last night, because poor Creator didn't get done with activities until 8pm. tonight kids home about 9pm from last activity, so I'm thinking no on that too - unless we read this afternoon, which is not a bad alternative. Creator was asking about reading from his Norse Mythology book.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thursday, January 10th

126.1

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, scrambled eggs to heat up at about 10am
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries at about 12:30
D: (will be) salmon burgers & salad

Drinking
Abs Day

Moving
Walk/Jog w/HappyHerder (heading out the door right now)

Spending
No plans
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9431
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I saw your comment that you had eliminated all sugar for three months last year. What did you let back in, if I may ask?
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There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a good question, Oolala. I think I will have to reread my thread to see what I was actually doing and then how I changed.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you eat sweets now? Or ketchup? Wink
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, I just went back and looked. I guess my change was "no refined foods", from refined carbs to refined vegetable oils - it ultimately meant that I couldn't eat anything out of a box or a bag.

But, despite eliminating processed foods on N Days, my blood sugars remained prediabetic and I was still overweight.

So, I guess I actually got MORE restrictive - I stopped eating brown rice and oatmeal and even whole-wheat pasta on N Days (I guess I can have them on S Days but they are not the foods I look forward to, so I still pretty much never have them). By reducing the starches, I FINALLY made the change that allowed me to incorporate salads and many other veggies into my diet. The ironic thing is that it doesn't feel more restrictive. I'm happier and get more joy with my foods right now than I can ever remember before in my whole life. Obviously, that means that I've found a way of eating that works for me long-term.

But in some ways I loosened up - for example, I'll eat tortilla chips and hamburger buns in small quantities on N Days. Ketchup - I guess not. Certainly not on an S Day, and I can't think of any real reason to use it on weekends. If I were to indulge in french fries, I try to really just savor the taste of the plain fries.

On S Days I have sweets, but not very many, and usually just a planned bowl of ice cream in the evening.

So, in summary, I found the most efficient way to limit my carbs (and thereby control my blood sugar, reduce my blood pressure, move better, and lose weight) but still eat foods that are nutritious and delicious (and yes, I put hamburger in the highly nutritious category).
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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Location: UK

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thinking about it I switched my lunches from sandwiches to salads and really love them. I don't miss the lunch carbs and don't get that afternoon slump. I did wonder how I'd manage in the winter but it's been fine.

Jx
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So it's basically meat and vegetables at lunch?
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no, I have yogurt w/berries for lunch (sorry, I know you said on your thread that that is not satisfying for you). For some reason it hits all the right notes with me and leaves me with a grin. Laughing

Dinner is the meat or fish & veggies meal. If I need a hamburger bun or tortilla chips to make the meal, I use them.

And my protein intake is very healthy/normal. I know for certain because I have to have all these 24 hour urinalysis and they always come back that my protein intake is 1.0 g/kg, which is pretty much perfect no matter who you talk to.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Auto

How did your drinking plan go? I've just finished dinner and had nothing. I made a hot chocolate last night and usually add a shot of Baileys but didn't. So I can thankfully report my 4 planned drink free days were a success!


Roll on Friday:)

Jx
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Soprano - my dry days are going great, but my moderation days need work. I had three drinks last night and my limit was supposed to be two. I wasn't prepared to do that, so my fail surprised me. I'll have to plan ahead more carefully and develop techniques to avoid surpassing my limits on moderation days.
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Soprano



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hadn't really thought about moderating my drink days, I'll join you on 2 glasses of wine unless we are socialising with friends Smile

Not sure how it will go but I'd not have more than 3 if it's just the two of us, do you think 3 is too much?

Jx
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For my size two drinks is my typical limit on a moderation day. Although I really like having the flexibility to have more if we are with friends (which is infrequent anyway, so I'll cross that bridge once my habits are in better place).

Two glasses of wine makes me feel great, haha, so I don't need anymore. I think it's a super personal decision. My parameters are 7 drinks/week, so I chose to spread them over three days (Wednesday, Friday, Sunday), which means on one of those occasions I can have three. I was thinking that would be Friday night, though, not Wednesday. Laughing
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Soprano



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thinking about it in the past I've restricted to one bottle of wine over a weekend. Might do that again! I'm happy with less on Sunday because of work on Monday so I could have more Fri and Sat Smile

Jx
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jenji



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Forgive me if this is obvious, but one way we increase our "read aloud" time on busy activity nights is to have an audiobook in the car. It does have a lot of the same benefits of reading together.
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Current weight 168#, BMI 25.9- 11/18/2018
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Jen - we use Audible constantly around here (an expensive luxury that I deem worth it for the whole family). Both boys listen to books on their Alexas at bedtime. I have discovered that my morning walk/jogs are like a mental vacation for me while I listen to books. We all talk too much in the car for some reason. Every time I've tried that we end up missing too much of the story, lol. I guess we are too noisy of a family. Laughing

Friday, January 11th

125.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon? - we are out of eggs and I need to find something I can quickly microwave at 10am when I get hungry.
L: yogurt w/berries
was pretty hungry in the afternoon so had a cup of coffee with milk at about 4pm
D: not sure - I'll probably shop tonight, but I have decided I don't like Costco's chicken on their chicken caesar salad. So....maybe they are still selling those brats and I can get some of them and eat with the last of my salad for the week. Update - I ended up finishing up my salad - added lots of a fancy cheese & guacamole and had a hot dog with mustard.

Drinking
Moderate Drinking Day! 2 glass limit tonight. Techniques include - sipping slowly, waiting 1 hour before the second glass, having 16 ounces of water in between glasses, heading upstairs at 8pm to read, relax, and avoid the temptation of the bottle of wine in the kitchen. Wish me luck! This is as hard for me as it for some NoSers to avoid chocolate sitting on a counter. Laughing
Update - well, the wine tasted great, and I enjoyed it slowly - one glass between 6:45 and 7:45, then a second between 7:45 and 8:45. I felt nice, and I worked on some fun chemistry problems (lol) and chatted with Sexy during this time. The bad..... #1 I think my glasses were not actually 5 oz, probably more like 7 oz. each - which is actually almost 3 glasses of wine. And, I'm updating this the next morning - I slept terrible. So I had mixed results overall.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. I ALMOST didn't go - tired! - but HappyHerder kept looking at me pathetically and standing by his harness. And I thought -- Traci never skips! I can do this! I'll just walk if I am too tired to jog at all. Of course once I got out there I jogged a bit, simply because HappyHerder is obnoxious and wants to go fast in between sniff-stops.
Oh, and I have a new strategy to try for doing Elements more consistently. Mister Rogers like - I will change out of my work clothes and into my cute Yoga outfit as soon as I get home and do the 20 minute workout. I'd like to give this a try to establish as a habit.
Historically, trying to make anything a habit when I first get home from work has been - um - huge failures. So not sure why this would be different, but maybe the changing into the outfit concept is a place to start. In the mornings, changing into my walking outfit seems to get me out the door for walking the dog. Perhaps I'll just first establish changing into the yoga outfit, and then eventually expand the habit to doing the actual workout. LOL that is hilarious but I think could actually work!
Update -- I DID change into my yoga outfits. I even put on my new (from Christmas) leg warmers. I felt delighted with myself.....and didn't do the workout. Haha, well, dang it, I'll keep trying. One defense is that I had to finish my menu and shopping list and then go straight to Costco to shop after work. Not much time.

Spending
Costco and local grocery shopping planned.
Update - ugh I spent $236 at Costco. It was not-typical items like keurig coffee cups ($36), paper plates ($1Cool, steak ($34), probably a few other expensive things like that made the total frighteningly high.
keurig coffee pods
1 regular-size bottle of wine
bananas
apples
salad
steak
milk
paper plates
paper cups
Le Croix
bacon - pre-cooked
bacon - not cooked
sharp shredded cheese
gogurts
pickles

still have a few more things to get at the local grocery today

Reading
Another fail last night. I was SO tired I feel asleep at 8:15. I almost feel like I was fighting off (or getting, eeks) a bug. But I am feeling fine now. Maybe the first week back in the classroom has just exhausted me mentally. And maybe my dry days highlight what my body really needs, which is plenty of sleep.
But we'll try again (reading) tonight. Update - fail. On the bright side, our second Incorrigible book arrived from Amazon. I tried to get it at the library and they don't have it any more! Challenger and I had always just checked those books out, so that makes me sad that the books were lost or damaged at some point.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love the idea of establishing the yoga habit by changing into the clothes Smile

Good luck.

Jx
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck with the moderate drinking tonight! I like to mix my wine with seltzer water or kombucha to make it last longer but I’m know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Like the yoga outfit idea. I need some new yoga clothes. Been doing a 30 day yoga with Adrienne challenge on YouTube. Love it!
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, great idea about changing into yoga clothes! I don't seem to have much luck doing exercising at home in the evenings. Mornings are best, or walking at lunchtime. Sometimes I can get myself to the gym after work, but nothing at home. I wonder if it would work to just start the habit of changing into exercise clothes at first! Do let us know how that goes!

I think you're right that there must be similarities between feeling the urge to have chocolate (in my case peanut M&Ms) and feeling the urge to have another glass of wine. It's funny, because there's some chocolate that I can truly have just a little of and be satisfied, a lot of other chocolate I don't even like, and then some that trigger cravings. It's good to know that if I try a new type of chocolate as a treat and find that it triggers cravings, I'll still have the NoS structure, so the worst that generally should happen is overindulging for a day or two over a weekend.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Soprano - yep, I changed! For habit building mini-steps, I'll call it success. Smile

Linda - I stuck with my limit but ended up not sleeping well! So I guess I poured my glasses too big, or I really should just have 1 glass on moderation days. On the bright side, I really enjoyed the time Sexy and I were chatting together, working on some of our own things but also enjoying each other's company. Maybe I should tell him that today. We haven't been very connected lately. Oh, and I keep meaning to try your mix method - I love kombucha so that could be a really nice plan. I ordered a body fat scale - hope it works OK. It had good reviews, but we'll see. I got the RENPHO one.

Sharon - totally! Well, I changed but didn't work out. But I think I'll keep it up next week, too, and see what happens. Regarding the chocolate, NoS really does have a nice way of building ample structure but allowing little pressure vents appropriately, doesn't it! And I guess I'm hoping it will do the same for my use of alcohol.

Saturday, Jan 12
S Day!
125.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs & a piece of toast
dessert 1: some chocolates that were given to me by a former student. I think there were 28 in the box. I gave as many away to coworkers this week as work as I could - I think there are still like 10 left. I'm letting the kids have most of them, I figure I'll have 1 or 2. So here's MY thing with chocolate - I don't really love it all that much. BUT, if it's there, I will sometimes just eat it. It doesn't give me a lot of pleasure (like ice cream does). So. I'm fine having a piece or two, but I want to get most of it out of the house or into other people's stomachs ASAP. Smile
Update - ate 3 of these chocolates - 2 almond caramel and 1 mocha caramel. Kids finished off the rest.
Snack: handful of jelly beans from Challenger.
D: Sexy has volunteered to grill steaks in the dark. Smile And we'll have salad and baked potatoes. Update - that meal was so scrumptious. Each bite was like a party in my mouth. I ate until I felt overly full, but satisfied and I think I'll sleep great tonight.
dessert 2: bowl of vanilla ice cream
Crazy thought - we should implement Marie Kondo's "Spark Joy" test for the foods we eat. If it doesn't spark joy, don't eat it. Laughing

Drinking
Abs Day
I will plan to avoid the kitchen after 8pm (go up and read - luckily I started a really good book last night that I'm looking forward to continuing). Other strategies - night walker if the urge to have wine is strong; take a bath; have a LeCroix instead; work on chemistry problems (I'm team-teaching this quarter a chemistry class w/ my biology class, so I'm doing all the chem homework and making up extra practice for students in difficult areas. It's super fun for me and I actually find I get in the flow zone pretty easily with this work).
update - it's about 7pm and I'm doing fine. I feel so tired again. It's funny, but do you think alcohol could sometimes MASK fatigue? Why do I want to go to bed even earlier without wine? Weird.... I guess it is also the first week of the quarter and that can be extremely mentally/emotionally fatiguing.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder once the sun is up (which will be 8am this morning). That way we can get some sunlight (or cloudlight, haha) and go in the woods. This is a change thanks to Traci. I'm no longer going to have Moving being S on the weekend. Just every single day, ingrained part of my routine. The dog certainly needs it every day, and it's not like it's intensive or over-training. I put it in the category of joyful self-care, once I'm out there. It's just getting out there that can still be hard. And having to wait until 8 (when I'm up at 6) is hard but I really want to walk in the light at least once in a while!!
Who knows - it may be an Elements day. I certainly haven't been putting this high on my priority list. There are just too many other things I'm exerting willpower for right now - early walks with dog, not drinking, moderating when I do drink, making menus, shopping with a list, and cooking meals. And NoS requires a bit of willpower from time to time. On the tired nights, when I still get the urge to go through the McDonald's drive-through or eat Little Caesar's pizza. Rolling Eyes So Elements is going to have to wait its turn for my full focus, although I do get in the workouts here and there. And the changing into the Yoga outfit is something I'm willing to really commit to (can you tell I really just like the idea of changing into pjs after work?)

Spending
Local grocery trip planned after my walk. Probably about $50

Reading
Norse Myths or Incorrigibles is the goal.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The sun does not come up until eight? What latitude are you at, may I ask?
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
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There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

48th parallel! Northern Washington state.
Very sad!
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My sister lives in Couer d'Alene. I keep her weather page marked on my phone just to keep me sober. But you do have those loooong days in summer!
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh boy, I’m guessing your numbers will put mine to shame. Ive heard good thngs about that scale so you should be good!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda - nope! My bodyfat was 26%!

Sunday, January 13
S Day

125.4/BMI 22.9

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon, eggs, & hashbrowns
L: leftover steak & potatoes
D: Big Salad (I'll capitalize it like Strawberry Roan might do. Smile )
dessert: ice cream

Drinking
Moderation Day - 2 glass limit. Today I will pour the 10 ounces into a measuring cup (so boring, I know) and then into the wine glass to make sure I only drink 2 glasses total. I will wait at least one hour between drinks. I will drink a lot of water between drinks. I will sip slowly. I will fence around the law.
I started a blog over at Moderation Management:
http://forum.moderation.org/blogs/test-blog/86209-determined-to-find-the-balance

Moving
couldn't drag my butt out of the house this morning. I guess I better leave my expectations alone for S Days to preserve willpower for the rest of the week.
I did wander around outside while going to grocery and enjoyed a rare bit of sunshine. Soaked it up.
Also did a bit of Bear and plan to do Monkey & Frogger while I have the house to myself for an hour (stayed home from Challenger's 3rd game of the weekend.

Spending
1 bottle of wine

Reading
Last night we read Greek Myths. We want to start Gregor #4 but we can't find it. Update - we listened together on Audible to Gregor and the Marks of Secret (#4) while he did legos and I reorganized all the books in his bedroom. Whaddya know - we found Gregor #4!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think using the measuring cup for perspective is a very good idea. Possibly sobering. Pun intended. It may be hard to accept but I'm pretty sure by medical standards, one or two glasses a day is a recommended limit for women. But getting to that is likely to be a process.
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Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

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sharon227



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was curious and looked it up. U.S. guidelines are 1 drink per day for women - for wine, that's 5 oz. U.K. guidelines are 14 "units" of alcohol per week, which somehow translates into six 175-ml glasses of wine.

Seems to me that having 2 glasses of wine once or twice a week should be OK. While I don't drink often (other types of carbs are my problem), at big holiday dinners it can certainly be more than one.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Oolala - yeah, I'm not above using that giant measuring cup to keep me honest. Then I took a picture of what 5 ounces in the wine glass actually looks like.

Hi Sharon! Yeah, my limits are in line with the typical guidelines. I think it is close to 50% reduction over my previous intake. Rolling Eyes

Monday, January 14th
S Day!

125.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon to heat up when I get hungry in my office
L: yogurt w/berries
D: burgers w/onions, tomatoes, guacamole, cheese, pickles, and lettuce
after dinner: coffee w/milk - probably not smart, I know.

Drinking
Abs Day
I have volunteered for the late night bball pickup; I head to the library or go on a night walker with Creator.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. My goodness it was clear and cold and beautiful this morning. So many stars. The colder it is, the Happier HappyHerder is. Wink
Yoga class from 11:30-12:15, led by a coworker for faculty only. 8 weeks long. The timing is very good for taking a morning break after a hopefully highly-productive morning of work.
I successfully changed into my Yoga clothes when I got home.....and that's it. Laughing

Spending
No plans - well, I might have to buy a milkshake for a bball player that met a special goal of his, but not sure if I'll do that today. Actually, I should because I can give it to him at pick-up.
And Sexy ended up having to buy new tires for our Highlander. Even at Costco, with a decent discount - it was over $600. Sad

Reading
Gregor & the Marks of Secret with Creator9.
Challenger13 finished The City of Ember and so he got to rent & watch the movie. He wants to read the sequel now. It got me thinking he might be ready for Divergent.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


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swebby



Joined: 14 Jan 2019
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Auto, thanks for the invite from the MM board! I loved reading your updates..

I'm starting NoS today. I'm 2 wks abs. Not drinking isn't that big of a challenge for me. I never have drank daily. My issue is with binging on the weekends. I think the main issue with me, is that whatever social activity I'm engaged in, it usually goes on for HOURS. So we'll start at 6-8, and end at like 12-2. That's a long time to be drinking. I can down 2 beers in the 1st 30 min, and then it's downhill from there. I've tried slowing down, drinking water in between, etc. But I've never had success with those techniques. I'm really hoping I can find a way to moderate. Drinking on the weekends while bowling, listening to music, hanging out with family and friends in ingrained in my lifestyle. Being the only completely sober one all the time would be such a drag that I would probably just choose to stay home and watch tv most of the time.

The NoS diet sounds like it might really work for me. I'm 50 lbs overweight and have lost that a dozen times over the last 20-30 yrs. But it always comes back. I get discouraged from even trying. But this sounds like a way of life that I could truly live with. Snacking is my biggest issue. I recently retired, and even before that worked from home most days of the last 20 yrs, so easy access to junk is killing me. I'm prediabetic, so I know I have to get a handle on this quickly. It's all about habits, right?

Again, thanks for the invite.. if feels like someone just threw me a lifeline and that moderation is what's been lacking in many aspects of my life!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome Swebby! We have a great tribe here with lots of encouragers.

I too am prediabetic, but I've been able to get my blood glucose down into healthy ranges in the last year. So you can do it! I've also lost about 20 pounds in the past year, and my blood pressure is better than it's been since I was in my 20's.

Snacking was ABSOLUTELY my biggest issue, as well. I was a grazer, mostly because I hated cooking and didn't want to bother with it. Change is totally possible - I cook dinner every night now, and I never snack on weekdays. Weekends I loosen up, but I've noticed even then the snacking is rare, rare, rare. Of course, these changes take time, but can be accomplished!
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tuesday, January 15th

125.6

Eating
B: Coffee w/milk, some leftover steak and eggs scrambled for when I get hungry in my office.
L: yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) beef bowl salad w/onions, tomato, cheese, guacamole (spaghetti for kids)

Drinking
Abs day
Feels much harder today (abs days are M,T, Th, Sat). I keep looking in the pantry and wondering about alcohol. Crying or Very sad I will be fine, I'll get through it, but there's no denying that I crave alcohol. Just hoping this will get easier over time. I will be carting kids all around tonight - basketball & trampoline class.

Moving
walk/jog with HappyHerder. Someone told me yesterday how to find Jupiter. In my sky right now it's a little lower and to the north of Venus. Beautiful.
Got home - changed into yoga clothes. Smile

Spending
No plans.

Reading
Didn't read last night (didn't even get home until 9pm). But Sexy was reading choose your own adventure with Creator when I got home.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4


Last edited by automatedeating on Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 458
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've every faith you won't give in to the alcohol craving Smile

Jx
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Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2886

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Soprano - yes, I made it. By the time I got home at 8pm, I had no desire at all. I was sleepy, and very ready to get in bed and read.

Wednesday, Jan 16

124.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, will pack scrambled eggs and the last of the steak for breakfast when I'm hungry
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) tuna melt salad (grilled cheese & tomato soup for kids). We have a rare night where I don't have to drive anyone anywhere. Sexy is out of town

Drinking
Mod Day - 2 drink limit. I will measure 10 ounces out, then drink the glasses separated by at least one hour. I will sip slowly. I will have lots of water in between. I will cork the bottle and put it away out of sight. I will look at my children and remember I am doing this not just for me, but for them.

Moving
walk/jog w/ HappyHerder
will change into yoga clothes after work -- haha -- and maybe even do Elements
I've noticed I'm doing more movement of joints and less standing around or sitting while I wait for things. For example, last night I got to Creator's basketball pickup 20 minutes early. I got out and walked around the (dark and 30 degree) parking lot for those 20 minutes. And since I already had put my yoga clothes on (earlier) I was dressed for the occasion. The other moms were huddled in their cars waiting. That's not an isolated occasion either - and I'm wondering the weight of various factors that are coalescing to help me meet my 2019 physical goal of increased mobility. It's a yay thing definitely. Razz

Spending
Bottle of wine.

Reading
Read Gregor and the Marks of Secret to Creator before bed.
_________________
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18 - 23.8; 1/19-23.4
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