Pinkhippies daily check in

[pinkhippie]

School started and I got busy so I am a bit behind.

Sunday Aug 25 2019 Sish day
Kids gone so no waffles
Egg white oatmeal with half a cup frozen fruit and chopped walnuts. (felt okish after meal but slightly lightheaded and head squeezy about an hour later)

Snacked on some almonds and felt better

tuna fish sandwich with giant peach for lunch

Crock pot salsa chicken with rice, corn and guacamole for dinner. Felt pretty good after this.

Monday- First day of school (And I counted my calories to try to make sure I was getting enough food. Each meal was about 600 calories.)
Bowl of oatmeal with 2 tbsp peanut butter, 1 tbs raisins with milk and 1 cup plain Greek yogurt with fruit (this kept me full until lunch time 5.5 hours later with no dizziness)

Lunch- Dry veggie burger with whole wheat bun(gack! Couldn't figure out how to bring mayo in my lunch box) small bag of chips and a fruit cup (this also kept me full until dinner, but mentally I really REALLY wanted to eat when I got home at the end of a long day. It was totally psychological and I just made myself a big glass of ice water and read a book to relax)

Dinner: Sauteed broccoli,scrambled eggs with mozzarella, toasted whole wheat bun with butter and guacamole.
(felt good after this meal as well)

Made it through my whole day with no dizziness)

2 mile walk with my 16 year old after dinner.

[automatedeating]

My kids started back too! It's crazy how the schedule suddenly becomes uber-intense for a bit.

[Thisisnotabadidea-]

Hey about the feeling dizzy thing, Have you ever saw anything about POTS(Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)?

For years I always thought my spells of feeling lightheaded, dizzy or random short lived headaches were to do with low blood sugar, or something like that because unfortunatly I DO feel better after eating but everything got ruled out and It's definitely "just" POTS haha. There's not much you can do about it other than lifestyle changes but I'm happy to know that I have a reason.

[pinkhippie]

Hey about the feeling dizzy thing, Have you ever saw anything about POTS(Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)?

For years I always thought my spells of feeling lightheaded, dizzy or random short lived headaches were to do with low blood sugar, or something like that because unfortunatly I DO feel better after eating but everything got ruled out and It's definitely "just" POTS haha. There's not much you can do about it other than lifestyle changes but I'm happy to know that I have a reason.

Auto I know! And soccer practices, school events, everyone getting up earlier... Im still figuring it all out.

Thisisnotabadidea

yes I have heard of that! My best friend actually was diagnosed with it when we were kids. I will look more into it.

[pinkhippie]

I am feeling really frustrated because my weight has remained exactly the same. I haven't been this heavy in years! Ironically I am more active and probably more healthy than I have been in years. It's hard to eat less with the dizzy issue. I have read that eating only 3 meals a day can help balance your blood sugar so fingers crossed.

On the bright side, while shopping for groceries yesterday, I didn't buy any snack foods or deserts that I normally would because I realized that there was no point, I wouldn't be eating them. So that felt like a small win. And money saving.

Tuesday Aug 27 2019

Coffee with cream
Oatmeal with pbutter and yogurt with fruit. ( felt a little light headed about 3 hours later but it went away)

Lunch -Veggie burger but FORGOT THE BUN! So I had a packet of cheese crackers to go along with it. and 24 almonds. Can't believe I did that.

DInner- Black bean and chicken burrito with guacomole and sour cream

Daughter had soccer practice so I just paced on the sidelines instead of sitting down. lol


Wednesday Aug 28 2019

coffee with cream
Oatmeal with peanut butter and yogurt with fruit ( felt pretty good until lunchtime)

Lunch - container of chicken with black beans and salsa, cheese and sour cream. A packet of potato chips. ( was not lightheaded and made it to dinner, got hungry about an hour before dinner.

Dinner- Was STARVING.
1/2 cup of tortellini alfredo, 1 bread stick and half a cup of sauteed spinach. Then, a bowl of raisin bran with milk. After that I felt satisfied. Maybe a little full. Could have had about half the amount of raisin bran that I did.

3.6 mile walk/jog - Was really happy that I could walk/jog 3 miles without feeling aches and pains during the walk. I am getting stronger!

Today's plan Aug 29 Thursday

Coffee with cream

Instant protein oatmeal 2 packets. ( I have been almost late every morning and I need a quick solution. This has 20 grams of protein)

Lunch- Veggie burger with bun this time, mayo ketchup and pickle, bunch of grapes

Dinner- Homemade corndog muffins (kids favorite) and sauteed green beans. Frozen fruit for dessert.

walk jog 2 or 3 miles, haven't decided yet.

[automatedeating]

Ironically I am more active and probably more healthy than I have been in years.

This is what really really matters. If we don't feel good about ourselves, it's harder to stick with any health-efforts. The scale is only one measure of our overall health. I'm so proud of you for your focus and your reasonable goals and just overall progress. Keep experimenting with meals and timings that make you feel good and happy about yourself.

Daughter had soccer practice so I just paced on the sidelines instead of sitting down. lol

Ah, the exercise opportunities for a mother!

[Octavia]

Sounds like you are doing so well, Pinkhippie!

Yes, mother-style exercise...I used to pace up and down a short, unlit street in the pitch dark while DD was in an evening ballet class. This was in a nice little English village where stupidly there was no street lighting! I felt like a right twit and probably looked highly suspicious. But it was exercise...

[pinkhippie]

Ironically I am more active and probably more healthy than I have been in years.

This is what really really matters. If we don't feel good about ourselves, it's harder to stick with any health-efforts. The scale is only one measure of our overall health. I'm so proud of you for your focus and your reasonable goals and just overall progress. Keep experimenting with meals and timings that make you feel good and happy about yourself.

Daughter had soccer practice so I just paced on the sidelines instead of sitting down. lol

Ah, the exercise opportunities for a mother!

Thanks for your encouraging words. It's a good reminder that the scale is just one measure. I feel way better and so much more powerful and strong. That is more important than the scale for sure.

hah yeah I know, mothers have to fit it in where they can. I saw a mom with her baby in a front carrier while I was at soccer practice this morning and she was going up and down the sidelines doing squats. Super props to her! I was way too self conscious for things like that. Probably still am.

[pinkhippie]

Sounds like you are doing so well, Pinkhippie!

Yes, mother-style exercise...I used to pace up and down a short, unlit street in the pitch dark while DD was in an evening ballet class. This was in a nice little English village where stupidly there was no street lighting! I felt like a right twit and probably looked highly suspicious. But it was exercise...

Thank you Octavia!

Mom's gotta do what moms gotta do. I remember there was a mom in our neighborhood that lived at the end of a culdesac. She would be out there at 8 at night in the dark just pacing the half of the culdesac back and forth for 30 minutes while she watched her 3 children. I was very impressed. I always admire anyone I see doing what they can to get their activity in.

[pinkhippie]

Friday Aug 30 2019

Breakfast 2 packets protein oatmeal some walnuts and a peach with coffee and half and half (This is becoming my breakfast of choice. It's quick and I don't feel hungry or dizzy afterwards. It always gets me to lunch time with no issues. I don't know why I can't replicate it in a less processed way but so far no luck. )

Coffee with my dad decaf with some milk

Lunch- Egg salad sandwich on whole grain bread with bunch of grapes(this was a good meal too. Felt good until dinner)

Dinner- Chicken nuggets, green beans, honey mustard

S night- 2/3 cup of ice cream

No activity... my foot is hurting. Seems like extensor tendinitis I have been overdoing it a wee bit and my body lets me know it.

Saturday (Ironically lots of food, ice cream, no activity and the scale finally dropped.)
Weight: 171


Food plan for today.
Breakfast Protein oatmeal and a peach

Lunch- Egg salad sandwich with relish and mayo

Dinner- Veggie Pizza 2 slices (It's my night not to cook... so Pizza it is!)

Saving my dessert for tomorrow when we go to in laws house for Labor Day celebration.
edit* had a cinnamon stick with butter and icing. mmmmmmmmmm*


It seems like I am starting to figure out my lightheaded issues. It seems like I need a big breakfast in the morning, like at least 600 calories and lots of protein with some fat. I have never been a breakfast person. In fact, I am not hungry in the morning and its kind of a struggle to eat in the morning. However, it really seems to make a difference. So, breakfast it is. Then lunch needs to have a good amount of protein and fat as well with a good amount of calories. After that, it seems I can have whatever I want for dinner including a sugary dessert and feel fine. I will keep experimenting.

[pinkhippie]

Sunday *sort of S day*

Breakfast 1 packet of protein oatmeal

Lunch at in laws

1 rib, potatoes au gratin, salad, 1 dinner roll

lunch dessert- small piece of lemon icebox pie... mmmmmm

Dinner 2 pieces veggie pizza, cup of grapes.

feel pretty good, slightly hungry, going to try to make it to tomorrow because its a big breakfast day.

[pinkhippie]

Monday September 2 2019
Sish day?

1 waffle with syrup, 3 pieces bacon
coffee with half and half

Lunch- chick patty with mayo and pickle
bunch grapes

dinner
1 steak fajita witn onions, peppers, sour cream and cheese

dessert very small slice of MIL's chocolate cake

felt good after all meals.

I am not sure what kind of day this was. I planned for a piece of chocolate cake but didn't snack or have second helpings. It's labor day, so its a special day as the whole family is home.

I am going to stop talking about if I am dizzy or not, just mention if I did get dizzy, because now dizziness seems to be more of a less often concurring thing.

I am still resting up because of my extensor tendinitis but I managed to get in some weight lifting and some leg lifts and such. All done without putting weight on my foot.

[automatedeating]

Very glad to hear that your dizziness hasn't been as frequent. Great news!

Such a bummer about your foot, but you did awesome to find a way to be active anyway.

[pinkhippie]

Very glad to hear that your dizziness hasn't been as frequent. Great news!

Such a bummer about your foot, but you did awesome to find a way to be active anyway.

Thank you auto!

Yes my foot is definitely a bummer. I am just going to keep doing the weights until its better but its amazing how much I miss my walk/jogs! I finally got enough into exercise to really be upset when I injure myself instead of secretly relieved. I don't want to go back to my old ways.

[pinkhippie]

Whoops I am very behind!

Breakfast has been the same every single day and lunch too except for today so for Tuesday and Wednesday:

Breakfast 2 packets protein oatmeal 1 peach coffee with half and half

Lunch Veggie burger on whole wheat bun and bunch of grapes.

Dinner Tuesday: 2 pieces of Egg and cheese stack with salad and homegrown tomatoes yumm...

Dinner Wednesday: Spaghetti with salad, garlic bread stick and 2 baked chicken tenderloins

Today: Thursday

Breakfast Protein oatmeal 2 packets

Lunch left over spaghetti, one chicken tenderloin, a cup of plain greek yogurt, grapes and garlic bread stick. ( I am getting really tired of veggie burgers. Time to switch up my lunch. Today was just foraging leftovers) I am hoping I will not be too hungry before dinner.

Dinner: 2 Pigs in a blanket, sauteed green beans.

I have been getting better at not needing to eat when I get home from school/work. I have started a new ritual of making a cup of herbal tea when I get home and drinking that instead. Also, I have way increased my water intake between meals and I find that I am suddenly way more thirsty than I thought I was. Maybe I was confusing thirst for hunger?

I have been doing good, no dessert after dinner even though there has been chocolate cake abounding and my husband has ice cream every night... However, I don't want to have dessert every day. I feel like its important for my health and wellbeing to not have that much added refined sugar on a regular basis. So, its not too hard to not have it.

[pinkhippie]

So, Thursday night a very very very very stressful thing happened and I thought about just diving headfirst into a vatful of ice cream, but eating only 3 times a day spread out has I think shrunk my stomach a bit and I was full after my one serving of dinner, and I am out of the habit of dessert after dinner so it wasn't too hard to not eat any.

Then Friday was EXTRAORDINARILY stressful with a family crisis involving my 16 year old. I actually tend to lose my appetite when it comes to hardcore emotional distress. Not being worried or anxious, that makes me want to eat. But really dealing with uncomfortable and upsetting emotions.

So.. I had to force food down all day. I could barely eat. I also got about 4 hours of sleep the night before and felt weird all day.

Basically my 16 year old has been admitted as an inpatient at a Behavioral Health facility due to being a suicide risk. She has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and they are not sure if Bipolar is also the diagnosis. ( unfortunately I have a family history of mental illness, both my mom and my uncle were/are as far as I have been able to figure out paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar)

Anyway...

So: Friday Sish evening: Sep 6 2019

Breakfast

1 packet of oatmeal

Lunchish:

1 almond natures valley bar
some grapes

Dinner:

4 chicken nuggets
1 cup of ice cream

Interestingly I didn't feel dizzy, but like I said with only 4 hours sleep and my emotions going crazy, my head felt weird all day.

Today is a Saturday and my appetite has returned a little bit.

No breakfast

lunch

1 peanut butter jelly sandwich

snack a few grapes and a few bites of yogurt

No idea what will be for dinner or if I will eat more snacks as the day goes on, I will update.

[ladybird30]

HI pinkhippie - all the best for you and your daughter, dealing with mental illness is very difficult for everyone concerned.
Congrats on staying away from the icecream.

[automatedeating]

Pinkie - hugs and lots of love sent your way. I can't imagine the agony your heart is in - and while you still have all the regular things of life (and your other kids) to take care of...... when a crisis occurs, it would be so nice if everything else could just "pause" so that you can attend solely to the needs of your daughter, the rest of your family, and well.... yourself. Talk about maximal strain on a mother.

Please keep us updated on how your daughter is doing, and all the rest of you. I hope you have some supportive friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on right now. And hopefully hubby is a helpful source at this time - I know sometimes these kinds of things can bring extra tension to the marriage.

Sigh. Tough stuff!

[Soprano]

So sorry to read about your daughter, hopefully they will stabilise her quickly.

Take care of you

Jxxx

[pinkhippie]

So sorry to read about your daughter, hopefully they will stabilise her quickly.

Take care of you

Jxxx

Pinkie - hugs and lots of love sent your way. I can't imagine the agony your heart is in - and while you still have all the regular things of life (and your other kids) to take care of...... when a crisis occurs, it would be so nice if everything else could just "pause" so that you can attend solely to the needs of your daughter, the rest of your family, and well.... yourself. Talk about maximal strain on a mother.

Please keep us updated on how your daughter is doing, and all the rest of you. I hope you have some supportive friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on right now. And hopefully hubby is a helpful source at this time - I know sometimes these kinds of things can bring extra tension to the marriage.

Sigh. Tough stuff!

HI pinkhippie - all the best for you and your daughter, dealing with mental illness is very difficult for everyone concerned.
Congrats on staying away from the icecream.

Thank you Soprano, Auto and Ladybird, I really appreciate your kind words.

Auto, I am really really lucky to have an amazing husband who is my supportive rock. We tend to do pretty well together in times of crisis. Maybe because when we got together it was in a time of crisis.

I do have some supportive long distance friends as well. And my daughters step mom and her dad are supportive as well, which I am really grateful for. I had her with my ex- husband, but my husband now has been raising her since she was 2 years old, and we all have a very good co- parenting cooperative relationship most of the time. My ex husband and his wife are getting a divorce and I think it was that stress that finally became too much for my daughter. She lives with me, but goes to her dads every other weekend, holidays and summers.

I actually just got back from visiting my daughter and she is doing well. I am glad for her because so many things are finally making sense to her and to us. She is glad she is there and she seems to be getting good help and the says that the staff treat her well.

Thanks again everyone for your support and your thoughts. I will definitely update.

[pinkhippie]

Sunday Sish day:

Breakfast 1 waffle, 2 pieces of bacon

Lunch

some grapes PBJ Sandwich

Dinner

2 scrambled eggs with sauteed broccoli

Monday Sep 9 2019

Coffee with cream, 1 packet protein oatmeal

Lunch

2 hot dogs, 1 whole wheat bun, grapes

Dinner

Pork tenderloin, broccoli, greek yogurt, a few pieces of frozen fruit

Tuesday September 10 2019

Breakfast coffee with cream packet protein oatmeal

Lunch leftover pork tenderloin, small bag pretzels, grapes, pack of peanut butter crackers (appetite is coming back)

Dinner planning on bean burrito(soccer game tonight, so it has to be fast and easy.

[pinkhippie]

I can't keep track of all my meals anymore. Suffice it to say, I have stuck to No s this past week, even in the face of incredible stress. That is because I think No S is so simple and I lost my appetite for the first part of the week. One interesting thing I have done this week is cut down on my huge breakfast. I notice this seems to completely eliminate my feelings of lightheadedness before lunch. I wonder if having a huge carby breakfast, even though it was protein laden as well caused me to spike my blood sugar too high... my lunches have gotten smaller too. Actually all my meals have gotten smaller. The thing I like about No S is that it kind of takes the joy out of eating. That sounds funny, but food really isn't a pick me up, or a reward, or something to do to make myself feel better. When its confined to meals it just becomes a way to not be hungry anymore.

I think that is why I had such trouble sticking to No S in the past. That made me feel deprived, to lose that feeling around food. However, now that I am more focused on my health and not as much how I look, my motivation is stronger to push through that feeling and form the habits anyway.

My daughter came home yesterday! She is on some medication but she seems to acting like herself, just more even keeled. So that is a relief. They are wondering if she is Bipolar but they can't diagnose that on a teenager. I guess because being a teenager is pretty much ups and downs already. Also she had a lot of food issues that she now tells me was paranoia. Like worrying that food would make her sick, not being able to eat lots of things because they weren't exactly right, etc.. So she is eating better now too. She told me last night that she had body image eating issues this summer which made me sad. She is 5'11 with a BMI of 17. It is such a mental thing. I realized when I was thinking about it that I feel better about my body now 20 pounds heavier than I was as a teenager, than I did when I was a teen. Like WAY WAY better. I hope I can convey that body acceptance to all 3 of my daughters.

[automatedeating]

Hey there pinkie! I just was thinking about you and your family and hope things are improving, or at least stable. Miss you on the boards!

[pinkhippie]

Hi Auto!

and hi Everyone! Sorry for my extended absence. Things have been stabilizing with my daughter and she is doing much better, but I realized that I was actually really really depressed after all that happened. Like, I went along doing my thing, homework, parenting etc and then BAM I couldn't do anything. I so very rarely get depressed that I didn't really understand what was happening. I just thought I had no motivation to do anything. Anyway, I did finally realize what was going on yesterday.

I was MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD. I could type more mads there but... I can't remember if I have mentioned my family's mental health history but basically my mom was in and out of psychiatric hospitals my whole teen and twenties. She was diagnosed with many things. MPD, Bipolar, etc... Then she seemed to get better for at least 10 or so years. Then she started deteriorating again and things went downhill over the next few years. She became convinced that her ex husband (not my dad) was trying to kill her and she showed up in my town to get away from him. Now she is paranoid and homeless. I helped her move into several apartments but she couldn't stay at any of them because eventually "they" would try to get her. She started getting picked up by police for basically just being a crazy person running in the woods from no one. The worst part is she doesn't/won't recognize what is going on and she won't get help. Eventually I had to put some boundaries in place because I couldn't handle the roller coaster she had me on, and neither could my kids. She has no boundaries and she demands help and money constantly and always at the last minute. It was SO draining. I told her I had to have a break from her for a while, and that no she couldn't live at my house and sleep on my couch. That was the last time I saw her. It was about 2 years ago. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She sends random money for the kids or cards sometimes but she has no permanent address or phone number and I have no way of getting in touch with her. She does have a regular amount of money she gets every month that is enough to live on and pay bills, but she just can't stay anywhere for very long because "they" will come after her.

So... that was long. But suffice it to say that when this happened to my daughter it was EXTREMELY triggering. And as wrong as it sounds I got mad. I feel like I have sacrificed and dealt with huge chunks of my life taking care of people I love who have mental illness. First my mom which was devastating and continues to be and now my daughter. So yeah I had some serious processing to do.

I am doing better now, and I have been able to get back into the swing of things and get my homework done, be a better parent and even write about it here.

If you read all this thank you and Im sorry. It was long.

Also, No S just went leaping off a cliff. I didn't care about anything, and certainly not an eating plan trying to stay healthy. Or exercise.... I went for a walk today for the first time since my daughter was diagnosed and it was amazing! I felt so much better. I have missed it. I thought of this forum and the wonderful folks here as well but I didn't have the energy to come and type . I tried a few times.

Anyway, hopefully I am back now.

Thanks again for reading. <3

[Soprano]

So sorry you have had to deal with so much.

Please don't apologise for writing about it. It's great you can use here to get it off your chest.

I'm not surprised you were feeling mad. I love walking I always feel better after.

Big hugs, you seem to be coping well. The depression will be your bodies way of saying enough, look after me.

Jx

[automatedeating]

What a special post! I am kind of in awe - the horrible things you had to go through - then how you were able to recognize how the anger showed up when this new family dynamic developed. And of course it's probably difficult to find ways to express and validate that anger, so then the depression pops in as a defense to squash away the "unacceptable" anger. What an introspective journey you've been on! Although I'm hoping you already know this, but your anger is SO normal - anger is a natural reaction to being in pain, frustrated, experiencing unfairness, or being attacked or threatened.
I'm very glad you found the time and energy to share with us. Virtual hugs coming your way (and also a pumpkin spice latte).
I hope you are able to get outside for even just short walks. Sometimes when I'm lacking motivation I tell myself I'm going EVERY day, but all I have to do is commit to walking out the front door in my walking clothes. I can turn around in 5 minutes, if I feel like it. That method was a big help to me the first month I quit drinking. I think I didn't miss a day of walk/jogging for like 45 days or something.

[pinkhippie]

So sorry you have had to deal with so much.

Please don't apologise for writing about it. It's great you can use here to get it off your chest.

I'm not surprised you were feeling mad. I love walking I always feel better after.

Big hugs, you seem to be coping well. The depression will be your bodies way of saying enough, look after me.

Jx

Thank you Soprano! I am so grateful for the kindness and supportiveness of the members here. Thank you for the hugs!

What a special post! I am kind of in awe - the horrible things you had to go through - then how you were able to recognize how the anger showed up when this new family dynamic developed. And of course it's probably difficult to find ways to express and validate that anger, so then the depression pops in as a defense to squash away the "unacceptable" anger. What an introspective journey you've been on! Although I'm hoping you already know this, but your anger is SO normal - anger is a natural reaction to being in pain, frustrated, experiencing unfairness, or being attacked or threatened.
I'm very glad you found the time and energy to share with us. Virtual hugs coming your way (and also a pumpkin spice latte).
I hope you are able to get outside for even just short walks. Sometimes when I'm lacking motivation I tell myself I'm going EVERY day, but all I have to do is commit to walking out the front door in my walking clothes. I can turn around in 5 minutes, if I feel like it. That method was a big help to me the first month I quit drinking. I think I didn't miss a day of walk/jogging for like 45 days or something.

Hi Auto! Hah, yeah mom stuff is kind of an ongoing issue for me. Makes it challenging to BE a mom sometimes. It IS really hard for me to express anger. I think I commonly turn it inward and it manifests as depression. I think my 16 year old does the same thing. I can't remember if I mentioned it but her hospitalization came about because of her dad. She went to a social worker about his abusiveness and it spiraled from there. She is REALLY REALLY REALLY mad at him because he is so verbally abusive to all his children. It's the main reason that I divorced him when she was 2. So I think some of her depression is from feeling so much anger and shutting it down.

Thank you for the reassurances on the normality of anger. Love the hugs and the pumpkin spice latte! We are FINALLY supposed to get cold weather here tomorrow. (in the low sixties) and I am so excited! Bring on fall and pumpkin spice, cider and coziness.

I am so impressed by your walking stats. 45 days is amazing. I don't think I have ever done that in my life. I am going to take your suggestion and just get out the door every day in my walking clothes. I can at least always do that.

Thanks for all the love and support you guys. <3

[pinkhippie]

Hmmm...

I haven't really been following No S very strictly. I have been working on figuring out a filling breakfast that keeps me satiated and full until lunchtime, and I have been working on not feeling dizzy anymore. I have accomplished those two things. However I do it by eating my big ol breakfast which is a bowl of protein oatmeal, blueberries, protein granola on top of my oatmeal, a little milk on top of that, and a slice of whole grain toast with butter. Every morning I find that this makes me feel great and keeps me going for about 6 hours. Which is awesome!

Then lunch is still a balancing act. Sometimes I don't eat enough and I am ravenous when I get home and other times I eat too much and don't want dinner. That happened yesterday. I was not hungry for dinner and noticed about 8 pm I started feeling a little dizzy and remembered I hadn't eaten dinner at all. I had a piece of chicken and then felt great for the rest of the evening.

So, I am figuring it out slowly. I am trying to get my lunch meals and my dinner meals onto a more healthy plane. I feel like sandwiches never fill me up so I have eliminated them from my lunches. Beans, rice, corn, guacamole, chicken, those all seem to be pretty good but I get bored with the same lunch every day. I also have an apple with my lunch every day.

Dinners are a mess because I have the pickiest kids in the world. My most successful dinner the other day was barbecue chicken cooked in the crockpot, green beans and mac and cheese, and applesauce because all the kids ate it!

Moving has been tough because of my foot. I have managed to get in about 3 walks this week which is amazing, but this morning I noticed my foot hurt most likely because I walked about a quarter mile in my boots yesterday unexpectedly. I'm hoping someday I will get there.

[automatedeating]

Sorry about the foot.
I have officially given up wearing anything other than comfortable footwear. Indeed, my barometer for shoe wear is - can I go for a walk in these comfortably? If not, nope, don't wear 'em. Of course, I also have begun wearing workout clothes every day to work. I have three pairs of matching tracksuits (orange, blue, and green set), and then a few other outfits with matching workout vests. I've been so pleased with how comfortable (and cute!) I feel by dressing how I like rather than how my coworkers dress. Makes me feel young, too, I guess. And active, etc.
Whoops! Rambled on your thread! But all this to say - boo for boots!

Excellent about finding a good breakfast. The lunch experiments will eventually find their sweet spot. You'll get there!

[pinkhippie]

Sorry about the foot.
I have officially given up wearing anything other than comfortable footwear. Indeed, my barometer for shoe wear is - can I go for a walk in these comfortably? If not, nope, don't wear 'em. Of course, I also have begun wearing workout clothes every day to work. I have three pairs of matching tracksuits (orange, blue, and green set), and then a few other outfits with matching workout vests. I've been so pleased with how comfortable (and cute!) I feel by dressing how I like rather than how my coworkers dress. Makes me feel young, too, I guess. And active, etc.
Whoops! Rambled on your thread! But all this to say - boo for boots!

Excellent about finding a good breakfast. The lunch experiments will eventually find their sweet spot. You'll get there!

I have had a hard time finding comfortable footwear. I did start wearing some orthotics in my comfy sneakers that I wear pretty much all the time and that has really helped the foot pain. Also stretching my calves. Thats awesome that you wear workout clothes to work!

I am so sorry to drop off the face of the board. School got so busy and hectic, I was pretty much not on the internet for fun anymore. It was just all homework and writing programs.

I have time now because of Spring Break and Covid 19. All my classes have been moved to online.

So at some point last year I fell into the trap of intuitive eating again! I know I know I know... I don't know why I have such a hard time learning that it doesn't work for me.

So, after about 4 months of that, my weight was 182 pounds. I have not been that high in YEARS. Not since I had baby #3. I have been doing calorie restriction and intermittent fasting and have gotten down to about 172. I realized though that with calorie restriction I basically follow No S. And with intermittent fasting I only have 3 eating times a day. Lunch, snack, dinner. So, I don't know. I think I also feel like there is a lot I can't control right now but I can control my weight and my eating.

I did get into a few good habits during my intuitive eating phase though. One is I got out of the desert habit and I only usually have dessert on Friday night with the family(a large ramekin of ice cream) and maybe a desert on Saturday. I naturally moved to that because I realized I really didn't feel good with sugar every day. I have also noticed that if I eat dessert two nights in a row, I REALLY want one on the third night. If I don't eat dessert that third night, the next night I don't even think about it or struggle to not eat it. So, I guess the intuitive eating wasn't all bad. Every time I stray from the path of No S I feel like I gain another tool to make following No S easier, so there is that.

[automatedeating]

I think that is a wonderful perspective, that you are just learning more along your journey even if you end up not fully adopting a particular style of eating.

[pinkhippie]

I think that is a wonderful perspective, that you are just learning more along your journey even if you end up not fully adopting a particular style of eating.

Thank you! All the years I have been on this board, active or not I can definitely say I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with food and with myself.

So,

Today I decided to try not snacking between my two meals and just doing lunch and then dinner. That worked pretty well. I ate a satisfying dinner and lunch. I have gotten onto this kick of making a can of soup with a piece of toast for lunch. Unfortunately, all the panic buyers wanted all the canned soups. So, I have been eating the soup that apparently no one wants... today's was corn chowder chicken something... I added some green beans and peas to it with lots of pepper and it was not too bad. Dinner was spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, and salad. I feel really satisfied and happy.

I want to type more but my husband wants to talk a lot. I have more thoughts though and will pop in tomorrow when I can concentrate.

[lpearlmom]

Lol about your husband as well as being stuck with the funky soups. Ive bought all kinds of interesting beans and rice because thats all that was left. I guess it’s a good way to try new things.

Also want to say omg I understand the lure of intuitive eating. Ive gone back to it countless times although it never works for me. It seems like it should be the perfect solution & sounds so appealing yet rarely has the desired outcome. Only NoS and IF have given me any kind of longterm results.

Anyway glad to see you posting again!

[pinkhippie]

Lol about your husband as well as being stuck with the funky soups. Ive bought all kinds of interesting beans and rice because thats all that was left. I guess it’s a good way to try new things.

Also want to say omg I understand the lure of intuitive eating. Ive gone back to it countless times although it never works for me. It seems like it should be the perfect solution & sounds so appealing yet rarely has the desired outcome. Only NoS and IF have given me any kind of longterm results.

Anyway glad to see you posting again!

Hi lpearlmom! Thanks for stopping by!

My husband is a talker that's for sure! We balance each other out I guess because I am mostly not a talker unless I am talking about things I feel very passionately about.

Yeah I don't know about intuitive eating. I wonder if I just don't give it long enough, but I can't handle it when I reach a certain weight.

I think currently, skipping breakfast is pretty easy for me because I was raised by hippie parents that followed the Bragg diet. Therefore, no breakfast and nothing but fruit for lunch. With some really disgusting veggie dishes and soybean meals for dinner. I have not really ever been much of a breakfast eater. I started doing IF because I was thinking about my lightheadedness. I read delay don't deny which advocates "clean fasting" ( I really don't like that term) but basically no cream in your coffee or sweet things. I decided to try it and I didn't get lightheaded at all, even with not eating for about 18/19 hours.

I am more likely to get lightheaded between breakfast and lunch, and lunch and dinner. Almost never after dinner. So, I thought maybe since fasting is supposed to help insulin and blood sugar that this would be the way to go. So far, its working pretty well and being stuck at home gives me the freedom to test it out without worrying I will be getting dizzy and faint. I really managed to get into the habit of not eating after dinner a couple of years ago and I really don't have any urge to now so that part is easy too. It used to be one of the hardest things about No S that I dealt with.

I have been thinking about all the years I have been trying No S and then abandoning it, only to come back because its such a sane sensible eating structure. I had some major obstacles to overcome.

Obstacle 1. No eating after dinner.

WOW that was a hard one for me. Especially in the nursing days and the days with my girls being young. After I finally got them off to bed I only wanted to eat! It was my reward for getting through the day and it was time to myself reward. Eventually, my husband and I shifted that into "breaks" where I run off to my room and he plays Call of Duty for about 30 -45 minutes. Initially, I had to take yogurt and fruit in there with me, and then fruit, and then I finally got into the habit of herbal tea instead. That was a great bridge and I probably did that for at least a few years, regardless of being "on" No S or not. Eventually, I stopped drinking tea at night, I don't know why. Now when I take my break I listen to music in my headphones, sometimes get up and dance around my room. and drink water. I have to admit though, now that the girls are older, evenings are SO MUCH Less stressful. They just go off to their room to have their own "break time" of watching their kindles, drawing or playing together. ( they are 3 years apart)

Obstacle 2. No Sweets during the week and then whatever you want on weekends.

I think this is one of the main reasons I kept leaving No S. I felt like I ate more junk on the weekends just because I had the weekly deprivation mindset and it didn't feel healthy to me. I tried having a sweet with a meal but that felt bad too. I actually had a habit of dessert after lunch and dessert after dinner. When I decided to jump back into intuitive eating this time I launched headfirst into all the sweets I could ever want. Eventually, I actually got tired of them. I remember at Christmas time my husband and I ended up with 3 different kinds of pie, cookies, 3 kinds of chocolate, cake, ice cream, etc... and we were just burned out. I think it helped that I had not been restricting myself at ALL with the sweets so I didn't feel guilty or bad for eating them, I just felt tired of them. It was weird. I also realized the HABIT of having sweets every day was just a habit and not something I really needed. After that, I just kind of stopped eating sugary treats, but decided to save them for the weekend. And I felt fine about it. As I mentioned, the whole family has a ramekin of ice cream on Friday, and sometimes I will have a small dessert on Saturday or Sunday, and I don't' eat sweets during the week just as a general good to my body rule. I really didn't like how I felt with all that constant sugar. All that to say, No sweets is no longer an obstacle.

And what's funny is, even though I didn't eat any sweet treats during the week and limited amounts on the weekend, I STILL got up to my highest weight and stayed there, so sugar was not really the issue for me.

That leaves only two Obstacles now. No snacks and no seconds

I have to be honest, I felt SOOOOOOOOOO deprived when I didn't have the "permission" from myself to eat between meals ( and dizziness didn't help) or to have seconds.

But once I started my calorie counting journey, I realized that I never had seconds because it would make me go over my calorie limit and I got used to smaller meals. So, I don't feel that no seconds is as much as an obstacle as it was.

So now, no Snacks. I still like having snacks. I seem to activate my deprivation mindset if I am hungry but don't eat between meals. So right now, with fasting and skipping breakfast, eating in a 5 or 6 hour window, that seems to solve that issue as well. My meals are so close together, I don't feel deprived. Weirdly I don't feel deprived when I skip breakfast. Maybe someday I will be able to go long hours between meals, but right now that is a real struggle for me.

And that is where I am at! lol My novel is complete.

[pinkhippie]

Today's Eating:

B: 9: am black decaf coffee
L: 1:pm Can of soup (another reject lol, bean, sausage, and pasta?) It was surprisingly delicious and full of veggies. 1 piece of whole-grain toast with butter.
D: 5:15 4 chicken nuggets, pretty much an entire crown of roasted broccoli and a serving of vanilla ice cream.

The ice cream was sooooo delicious, but I realized another reason I gave up sugar during the week was my health! Coincidence or not but during that sugary time I got the flu, got several colds that wouldn't go away, had issues with a sore throat constantly and got a very stubborn UTI. I thought about that because after I had my ice cream my throat was sore for maybe 5 minutes. Does that happen to anyone else? If I eat something very sugary it makes my throat sore temporarily.

For my exercise and my sore foot, I am just trying to get my steps in. I have a mild case of restless leg and I notice if I get over 6k steps my legs don't hurt at night. With quarantine I was down to about 2k steps a day! So now I am making a point to get up throughout the day and either housewalk or put on music and dance around. I also take a neighborhood walk with my girls every day after lunch. So, my goal was 4k, then 5k then 6k and now I am aiming for 7k steps a day. Today I am almost there. Update: made it! Well over 7 K steps. I am pretty proud of myself when I remember how hard it used to be to get 4K.

[automatedeating]

Great job with the increasing of the step count!

Yes, sugary foods give me a sore throat! So weird! Also, after I gave up most sugar/refined carbs and increased animal products (yogurt & meat) in July 2018 - I have only gotten ONE cold since then (last fall at some point). And this from someone that got sick with colds 3-4 times a year. My sister always teased me about my "weak" immune system. So I think there's something to it.

[lpearlmom]

I read delay, dont deny too and am currently doing 19/5 but have gone as long as 45 hrs. I find the 19/5 schedule very doable. I realize Im more suited to IF because i really enjoying a less structured approach to eating. Also, i meant to tell you that the one time i can kind of do intuitive eating is when im eating in a 5 hour or less window.

Oh the clean fasting phrase bugs me too and so does her fanatical insistence on it. But i have to say fasting is easier for me when i “clean fast”. Whatever works though.

[pinkhippie]

Hi Auto! That is crazy that your throat gets sore too! I wonder if that is a normal thing. That is great that you have found a way of eating to achieve your best health. I have been trying to figure that out for myself for a while.

Hi Linda! yes Delay don't deny was pretty good, Im glad Im not the only one who kind of squirms with the term "clean fast" Any clean applying to foods makes me feel a little icky.

Intuitive eating in a 5 hour window sounds like that might work.

This morning I realized that I felt pretty bad without breakfast. It was weird. I don't know if it is because we are all here and my weekly routine is blown to smithereens or what. I did make it but I don't know if it was worth it. My original intention was to do 19/5 every day but Sunday but now I realize how much my routine makes that possible and easy and Saturday really might not be so great for that.

So I started out eating chicken tortilla soup and I realized I really wasn't enjoying it. All this week every lunchtime experience has felt amazing when I eat. Like its the most delicious food, its total happy bliss, etc. I was NOT getting that from the soup. So I packed it away after a few bites and made a half peanut butter sandwich. That was better but then I realized I felt a little sick. I got this crazy strong craving for potato chips. I am not really a chip eater most of the time. I don't really like potato chips or corn chips. However, I ate a snack-size bag of potato chips and it was amazing! I also felt soooo much better. I enjoyed those chips in a way I don't normally enjoy chips. I wonder if I needed salt? Anyway, I finished that up with a glass of my husband's "fat milk" (what he calls the full-fat milk he drinks) And I feel great now. Satisfied, happy and full.

I am not sure what lessons are to be learned from this yet. Maybe a little salt in my water in the morning? Don't make a lunch that I don't really want?

I didn't really want the soup but my (diet? )brain was telling me that since we are having pizza and ice cream for dinner, I should eat this healthy low-fat soup. Hmmm... anyway.

9 am decaf coffee
12:40 pm a few bites of chicken tortilla soup, half a PBJ, a small bag of potato chips and 1 glass milk
2:30 pm half an apple with a tbsp of peanut butter
5:30 pm plan for pizza and ice cream Will update. update: 2.5 pieces of greek pizza
6:15 pm and 1.5 scoop frozen yogurt twist.

The family went on a 2-mile hike on a fairly deserted trail in the middle of nowhere. The few people we ran into stepped off the trail at least 6 feet so most everyone was being careful. It was soo good to get out! Unfortunately, I slightly twisted my good ankle on a very muddy incline. I think it will be ok but I am bummed. Then I had to walk on it for another mile to get back to the car.

And I reached about 9,000 steps which is good because I am iced up, braced up, and staying off my feet for the rest of the night. Hopefully, this will be quick healing.

[automatedeating]

Shoot sorry about the ankle twist!!

[pinkhippie]

Thanks Auto! I don't think it is too bad, it's a weird one in that it is what the internet calls an eversion sprain, so all my pain is on my inner ankle and going into my arch and the top of my foot. However, I can walk around briefly and I am hopeful that with careful rehabilitation exercise I can get back on my activity path. The irony is that I really enjoyed that hike and was thinking that I need to figure out a way to leave the house in the evenings so I can do more walking! Ahh well...

I'm still figuring out my groove with eating structure and journaling.

I think I will continue to list the meal and the time and the amount of fasting time because that helps me understand my hunger patterns better and with IF as well. I'm still trying to decide if it is something that I should continue to do and if it is beneficial.

Today is 16/8

10:30 B cup of decaf coffee with cream(soo much better with cream!) 1 waffle with butter, syrup and 1 massive piece of bacon
1:40 L 2 leftover pieces of Greek Pizza
5:30 D plan to have bean burrito(will update) Updated: Actually had this INSANE craving for sauteed onions in butter. Weird. But I had a bean burrito with tons of onions and then some salted peppered corn with more sauteed onions. Sooooo good and hit the spot. Husband tried to talk me into making cookies but I told him he had to wait until Friday. 2 days of dessert is seriously all I can handle. Excited to get back to my food routine of tomorrow.

Sadly probably will barely get 1000 steps today since I am staying off my foot as much as possible. Update, actually about 2,000 steps probably wasn't off my feet as much as I should have been.

[automatedeating]

You might find that you go through seasons in which IF is a great fit, and then other times where you aren't doing it for awhile. I don't see any reason why it has to be all or nothing for the rest of your life....
I have never formally done IF but I notice that I have streaks where I want eggs every day for a few weeks, and then when I'm not in the mood. I just go with it.

[pinkhippie]

Good point Auto. That sounds so... moderate.

I tend to throw myself headfirst into whatever I'm excited about or interested in and then either burn myself out or injure myself, depending on what it is. But you are so right I don't have to be all or nothing. I think that really is the appeal of No s to me. It's all about moderation. A theory I subscribe to but have a hard time practicing.

Also, can you tell I am just sitting at home with my foot up with nothing to do? My husband is on a bike ride and the kids are entertaining themselves so I have tons of internet time.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I also just had a nice chat with my dad. We talked for about 40 minutes. Neither one of us is much for the phone, but during normal times we get together a few hours every Friday for coffee. The last Friday we did that was March 6th. He is turning 70 next month. It is going to be tough to not see him for a while(an unknown amount of time).

We are about to set up a video chat with my husband's mom and her husband and his granny for the girls so that they can see them. They usually see them about twice a month, so this has been hard on them as well. His mom is mid 70's and has liver issues with immune-suppressing drugs, her husband has type 2 diabetes, and granny is getting over pneumonia and is 92 years old. So we won't be seeing them for a long while either. This is the hardest part for our family so far, we have been pretty close with our parents and family(and so have our kids) so this is tough to be separated.

[automatedeating]

Hugs, Pinkie. It is so sad to see families separated because of this. I don't know when we will get to see my parents or Sexy's parents again either....

[pinkhippie]

Thanks, auto, I'm sorry you have to be separated from your family as well.

Today is another day of trying to get schoolwork done while at the same time helping my kids with their schoolwork. AAAARRRRGHHH! It is impossible! I need an emoticon with a smilie ripping out their hair. I wish we had a desk in our bedroom or something but its in the living room with all the action. I have headphones but sometimes it's not enough. Especially when they need help with their required work.

I am a straight-A student so far and at this point, I kind of don't care about my grades anymore. As long as I can pass, it just feels very impossible to do the quality of work I used to do in these conditions.

Weigh in day:

170.8

Today's eating plan:

(It was completely easy to not eat until lunchtime, I could have gone longer than 12 45 but I had a class coming up (via Microsoft teams). I am wondering if the Saturday morning issue was because the last thing I ate on Friday was ice cream.

B 9 am: Salted decaf black coffee(this is almost sweet-tasting)
L 12:45 pm chicken tortilla soup with half turkey, provolone and bacon sandwich
3:30 pm The rest of my coffee from this morning reheated and with a little whole milk added. yum!
D 5:30 pm: tortellini alfredo with steamed broccoli update added slice of garlic bread and half a strip of crumbled bacon. This meal was a teensy bit too high in fat for me. Next time I will skip the bacon and the garlic bread and add some green onions to the mix.

Ankle: doing better with stretches and some rehab exercises but still got a sharp pain randomly when walking today so I still need to be careful.

[pinkhippie]

Tuesday:

I am feeling a little more positive about being able to get my schoolwork done. I got up early today and even though I only had about an hour before everyone got up, I got so much done! I was able to concentrate so much better when no one was up and around. I am going to keep tweaking and try to get up even earlier tomorrow.

19/5

9: am salted (this is a continuing experiment)black decaf coffee
12:50 pm 1 can chicken dumpling soup, 1 piece whole-grain toast with butter
3:30 pm rest of coffee with 1/4 cup milk
5:40 pm Scrambled egg sandwich with sauteed onions and peppers. Steamed spinach with butter and lemon. 1 cutie

I was on my feet way too much today. I did a huge grocery shopping trip. The goal is to not have to go for two weeks, which is what they are recommending here. But I definitely had some serious shooting pains randomly in my ankle. It's weird, I can be walking fine and feel completely normal but stepping in some unknown way can be briefly excruciating.

Current steps at 6:15 pm are 4,300 so it's possible today could at 5k.

[automatedeating]

You are doing great! Really making lemonade out of lemons at your house.

For many years, I'd (naturally) wake up between 4 and 5 and pound out a bunch of work before the kids got up (usually they'd be up between 6 and 7). I wrote most of my students' workbooks during those early mornings. I still don't know quite how I did it, but I'm going to say that - yes - early mornings can be extremely productive.

[pinkhippie]

Thanks, auto! I wish I was a natural early riser. I can't imagine how much I could get done if I could get up as early as you were! It is very hard for me to get up early. Still modifying this plan but its working better than it was before.

Wednesday

9: am salted mostly decaf coffee ( I have discovered just a pinch of salt smooths out the flavor, so I think I will keep it for now)
12:45 pm 1 bowl minestrone sausage soup, a half turkey sandwich with tomato and mustard ( one nice thing about not eating breakfast is that by the time I do eat, my taste buds seem extra sensitive or something and a sandwich I normally wouldn't like with just mustard tastes AMAZING. I like that effect.)
3:30 pm rest of coffee with cream
5: 40 pm leftover night! 2 breakfast burritos with egg, cheese, breakfast sausage with steamed spinach, and tomato. 1 cutie. ( get the same effect of lunch by waiting to eat until dinner time. Dinner tastes delicious! I love being hungry for dinner. I used to run into the problem of not being hungry for dinner but eating it anyway, or sitting while everyone else ate but not eating anything and then eating later ( or not) I like this much better.)

Weirdly, by not eating breakfast I am not hungry between lunch and dinner. That used to be the most terrible white knuckle time for me and I would always have to have a snack just to be able to cook dinner. It's strange. And no lightheadedness! Which is the best part of all.

I stayed off my feet more today. Probably about 2,500 steps. My ankle appreciated it, it seems to get overuse injury easily right now.

[lpearlmom]

Glad your schedule is going well. 19/5 seems to work well for a lot of ppl. Sounds like you’re fat adapted too-yay! Salt really helped me get through fasting in the early days and yes should help with the bitterness. At least that’s what ina garten says!

I hope your ankle feels better & good luck with your quarantine. I’m trying not to go to the store all of April but we get sunbasket deliveries every week so it’s doable.

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda! I want to get all crazy and try an even longer fast, but based on all my reading, it's best to do it gradually. I am happy I can do 19/5, I never could before. Eventually, I want to try 20/4 . Salt is soo helpful! I wish I had known about it back with my days of dizzy struggles. This morning I felt a little light-headed when I got up, I put a sprinkle of salt in my water and felt fine almost immediately. Having had lightheaded issues for so many years, this is great.

Thanks for the good wishes with the ankle. It feels better today than yesterday. I just get really impatient having to stay off my feet. Yes, it's hard to not go to the store! Besides the fact that we usually shop at least once a week, its birthday month here! Everyone but one person in my family has a birthday this month, and mine and my oldest daughters are next week. I worry I am going to realize I forgot some vital things at the store.

Thursday
9 am: black(mostly decaf) coffee salted. I am trying to slowly ease caffeine in the morning back into my life so I am adding half a tbsp of regular coffee to my decaf. Next week I will do a full tablespoon and that will be half-caf
1 pm: a bowl of healthy choice split pea ham soup. YUCK won't get that again. Whole grain toast with butter.
5:30 bowl of pizza pasta with olives, green pepper, cheese, sausage, and turkey pepperoni. 1.2 helpings*

*While this was very delicious, I had a technical N day fail here. I ate about 1/4 of an extra helping and I really wish I hadn't. I feel full and kinda yucky. Looking back at dinner in retrospect, I realize that I am feeling that end of week kids home all week husband wants quality time claustrophobia. For my husband, his life is almost the same except grocery shopping has changed. He goes to work, comes home and hangs out or mows the lawn or goes on bike rides at least a few times a week.

For me, I am home with the kids allllllll day long. Helping them with schoolwork, and juggling my own, which is mostly ok but the problem is, he comes home all intense and thirsting for connection because he has been at work and he misses me, and I am like get away from me. So, yeah I realize now that I most likely overate at dinner because I am having unpleasant feelings about feeling forced to be close with my husband. Blah. Of course, I love him and he is my favorite person but I feel like I used to when I was home with babies all day long. "touched out". Even though they are older and pretty much not hanging on me. Also been butting heads with my soon to be 17 year old a LOT these past weeks. I know it's normal but it takes out of me too.

Well, at least I am aware and I can work on all this for the future and tomorrow. I already told my husband how I was feeling, hopefully he understands.

[pinkhippie]

Things went... Ok, last night. The husband was mostly understanding, and I am going to try to carve out some alone time that doesn't involve schoolwork. It's interesting how doing hard brain work drains me almost as much as lots of physical interaction with people. I am just a wimp I guess. So my goal is to run off for maybe an hour or two with a fluffy book and do less homework than I have this week. I am doing well, I just have big projects that I like to work on constantly but then I get burnt out. I'm taking a break today.

I used to belong to this food app called TwoGrand. It was a neat idea of taking a picture of your meal at mealtime and posting it, kind of for awareness and ideas for others. I got some good ideas doing that. Anyway, they changed their name and I left because I got very into intuitive eating which is not really compatible with that sort of thing. At least not for me. However, last night I logged back in and looked at my entries of which there are many. I used to eat much healthier! I really need to kind of step up my health game a bit. I saw recipes I haven't cooked in years because of my super picky kids. I have fallen into this unhealthy eating pit because my kids are so picky and I try to make dinner that everyone will eat at least part of. I can't do that all the time, but at least 2 out of 3 kids will like it. It's been a constant battle. I have tried making healthy food and letting them struggle with it, but I can' keep it up over time because it is very hard. Anyway, maybe I need to figure out an easy way to have healthier food for dinner while still making them their pasta and hot dogs etc... Something to ponder.

Friday

9 am: black quarter-caf coffee
1 pm: bowl of lentil veggie soup, toast, half an apple
5 15:pm: 5 chicken nuggets, sauteed broccoli, honey mustard
5:40 ramekin of vanilla bean ice cream drizzle of Reeses magic shell, 1 chicken nugget.

I decided to try eating some chicken after I ate my ice cream, even though I wanted to finish the meal with something sweet because I didn't want to feel bad in the morning tomorrow, and wondered if the sugar was the cause. We will see.

Exercise:

Was able to do 5-minute bursts on the elliptical spread throughout the day. probably totaled about 20 minutes. Ankle felt better today. Hopefully, I can keep it up. It's ironic because I really hate the elliptical. My least favorite form of exercise, but I always end up back there because it is the one form I can do without hurting myself and can do after I have hurt myself. Alas... At least I have an elliptical and I am grateful for it.

[automatedeating]

It's interesting how doing hard brain work drains me almost as much as lots of physical interaction with people.

Yep. This is true of all of us - you are not a wimp!

About cooking and kids, my best successes have been to make my meal a modification of theirs (rather than a separate meal). For example, I make spaghetti for my carb-loving & tolerant children, and I just set aside ground beef for myself and make a beef salad bowl. Easy peasy without extra work or cleanup. And if it's meat and rice, I just eat the meat. My kids are picky too, but I've learned to (mostly) ignore their food and just eat my meat and salads.

[pinkhippie]

Thanks, Auto! I feel like a delicate flower sometimes, "oh that is too hard, oh that is too hard too!"... thanks for the reassurance.

Great idea about the kid's meals. I suffer a lot of guilt for not feeding my kids the same healthy stuff that I am eating, so I guess I just eat what they eat. Pretty funny now that I think about it. I have to admit though, my whole family loves cheese ravioli, pasta, hot dog meals etc... but I really don't. So why am I eating it? I will think about what I can do for more healthy options of their favorite meals for myself and my teenager. She is the one healthy eater of all my kids.

I do try to make a healthier dinner a few days a week, that they can tolerate and then make them something they like the other days. Maybe I will just start making my own option on those days. Thanks for the idea.

The birthdays are all next week! Mine on Monday, my teens on Thursday, and my husband the following Monday. So my plan is to eat normally, except for Monday and Thursday have a birthday cupcake. We will see...

Food:

9 am: Black quarter-caf coffee
1:20 pm: a bowl of black bean soup with sour cream, cheese, and corn chips. One cutie
5:20 pm 3 pieces small chicken bbq pizza, 2 choc chip cookies, glass of milk
Ate a wee bit too much there, but it was because it was soooooo good. My problem honestly was I ate too big of a lunch I think. My stomach was feeling a little stretched after lunch, but I tend to eat a lot at lunch because I want to make it to dinner. pretty funny really.

Exercise:
2 x 7 minutes on elliptical
chair walking 12 minutes
about 5 k steps for the day and ankle feels pretty ok. I bent it weirdly this evening and it hurt but it was the first time since yesterday I felt any kind of pain at all so its getting better.

[pinkhippie]

It was a pretty relaxing weekend. I did absolutely no schoolwork because I am so burnt out. Luckily I am either slightly ahead in my classes so it should be ok.


Breakfast 10:45 am: Waffle with butter, syrup, 2 pieces bacon, coffee with cream, grape juice.
Lunch: ended up not eating lunch since breakfast was kind of brunch.
Dinner 5:20 pm 2.5 pieces bbq chicken pizza, sauteed broccoli, 1 cutie.

Exercise_
More chair walking ending today at 5k+ steps.

[lpearlmom]

Totally relate to needing alone time when hubby needs connecting time. I also notice that I sometimes eat as a way to get that time. It’s a way of saying don't bother me alone without actually saying it. That’s my issue with boundaries I guess.

[pinkhippie]

Linda so true about eating to get alone time! I definitely still have to work on this. I notice that when I get better with boundaries and expressing my needs, I have less times of emotionally driven eating. Still a work in progress!

S day!

9 am: half-caf black coffee
1 pm: bowl of chicken soup(didn't finish) half an apple and 1 piece of toast
5 20 pm: 3 slices pork tenderloin, sauteed garlic green beans, half glass of milk, and 1.75 birthday cupcakes. (gave myself 2 cupcakes. sooo delicious but eventually the sweetness was an overload and didn't finish it all. Also, I'm having another one on Thursday for my daughter's birthday!

I noticed about an hour after eating my stomach felt a little growly like I was hungry but I assume that is the sugar from the cupcakes. It went away after about another hour.

Exercise and ankle
Probably will have about 4-5 K steps today. Ankle is getting better, a few times I noticed it hurt but not bad at all, just a little reminder that it's still healing.

[automatedeating]

Happy Birthday?
Glad your ankle is mending!

[lpearlmom]

Oh yes, Happy Birthday!

[pinkhippie]

Thank you Linda and Auto!

Another year in the books! It was pretty uneventful except for the cupcakes! But, they were pretty amazing cupcakes.

I am feeling a bit frustrated with my soon to be 17 year old. AMI( Alternate method of instruction) is a HUGE academic opportunity for her to do well. They have reduced the workload quite a bit and she has an opportunity to catch up on her grades which she SAYS she cares about. But no... I just checked her classwork online and although she is telling me that she has been doing it, she has done hardly any of it. When I showed her, she said she hadn't turned stuff in or she forgot about such and such, and then she said I was stressing her out. Argh! I told her responsibility can be stressful, having lots of things you know you have to do and not doing them can be stressful, and the best way to help that stress is to DO THE STUFF. I mean, she is a junior this year, I feel like my role should be done when it comes to schoolwork and grades. It's hard to know the right thing to do.

9:30 am: black half-caf coffee
1:00 pm: (a smorgasbord of leftovers) leftover chicken soup, leftover garlic sauteed green beans, 1 tiny piece leftover bbq chicken pizza, 1 cutie.
5:15 pm: Fish sticks for kids, for me and Eldest 2 fish stick tacos with black bean, corn, onion, cilantro salad, and homemade taco sauce. YUM! and 1 cutie.

Ankle getting better, but I decided to take it a little easy today since I have pushed it the past few days. Maybe 4k steps by bedtime.

[automatedeating]

It's hard to know the right thing to do.

I know!!!!! My 14 year old..... I find myself definitely want to abdicate. It's so frustrating to try to get him to do more. I find myself FREQUENTLY thinking that it's his life and he's making his own choices. But perhaps I'm abdicating too soon.

[pinkhippie]

Auto, same here. I feel like I have failed my teenager sometimes. I think that she depends on me too much. I try not to be a "helicopter" parent, but without guidance, she crashes and burns. My parents just let me crash and burn and I don't feel like I learned anything from it so I was trying to give her the tools she needs to succeed. However, she seems exactly like me as a kid no matter what I do. Unmotivated, and unwilling to do any hard work. I didn't learn to be motivated or do hard work in school until I was in my thirties. Ahh well... tomorrow is her birthday and she will be 17. Very hard to believe. She just came in and asked me what time it was... there are 80 million timepieces in this house.( ok an exaggeration but I think it illustrates my point well)

9 am: black half-caf coffee
2:45 pm: black bean corn burrito, half an apple
5:20 pm: Grilled cheese for kids, Turkey melt on whole wheat with baby carrots and ranch for me. tomato soup.

Still taking it easy on my ankle. About 3k steps

[pinkhippie]

The teenager is 17 today! How can I have a 17-year-old??? So crazy. The eldest child's birthday is always a bit special to me because that is the moment I became a mother for the first time. ( I couldn't really understand the mothering thing until my baby was born) It was a very momentous event that changed me as a person in many ways.

Thursday S day again!

9 am: black salted coffee
2 10: pm 1 piece buttered toast and apple ( I was weirdly not hungry at all today until about dinnertime)
5 15 pm baked ravioli for the kids. For me, A few pieces ravioli with spinach, baked chicken breast, garlic bread and 1 peanutbutter chocolate cupcake... YUM!

Still taking it easy on the ankle. I should have done it from the beginning but I get impatient. About 3k steps

[automatedeating]

Happy birthday to your special first born!

So fascinating about how we parent based on out own experience from OUR parents. My parents were hands off and I preferred that. I have always been extremely internally driven (sounds the opposite of you - I bet we would be great friends in RL because I tend to be attracted to people that aren't as uptight like me!). But anyway, it's interesting that you felt you wanted your parents to be more hands-on. I think I should be with my kids but kind of don't have the desire to do it. Anyway, I guess my rambly point is that you have done a lot for your daughter, and yet she is still the same as you were as a kid (and your parents didn't do much for you). My parents were hands-off and I'm glad; I've been hands-off and yet my kids are not very motivated about much of anything. NATURE wins, baby. LOL! So maybe we should all just forgive ourselves for not being perfect parents since our kids turn out as individuals anyway. My focus should be.... they know I love them, they know I don't fix everything for them, they know life is up to them to make of it what they will.... Whoa. See how hands-off I sound? I think part of it is a protective guard because I anticipate them not staying in touch with me when they grow up, based on me seeing how my brother doesn't keep in touch with my parents. So it's like I'm preparing myself now. And I already anticipate how my (possible future) dils will think what a bad mom I was. OMG I'm a basket case.

Anyway, happy Friday!

[pinkhippie]

So true Auto! I think of that often. My oldest is so much like me and I parent very differently than my parents. My husband often reminds me to be careful of reactive parenting ie the opposite of my parents, because I do have a tendency to do that. He definitely keeps me a little more grounded and moderate instead of trying to swing the complete opposite way. And yes I definitely anticipate that my daughters will let me know all the mistakes I made when they grow up. I realize that parents are only human and we do the best we can. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that about my parents until I was all grown up and a parent myself. So I might have a long wait for my future adult children to understand me or forgive me for my mistakes.

I think we would be great friends in RL too! My best friend from childhood is extremely internally driven. I really am not. I can drive myself when it needs to be done, (for example, I have been working on this php program for hours every day the past couple of weeks) but I am just relatively laid back. It's funny because my husband is very driven and calls himself "the plan man". Nothing makes him happier than plans and decisions. He has tons of energy and I often call him Tigger. He can't stay at home without doing something for very long.
Opposites do indeed attract.

Yay happy Friday!

Weight: 169.8 lbs ( Never thought I would be soo happy to see the 160's again. )
9 am: black half-caf coffee
1 10 pm: a bowl of chicken soup, piece of toast and 2 or 3 bites of a cupcake. ( This was a mistake because I felt fine before the cupcake but a little lightheaded after the cupcake. I think I need to save desserts for dinner or for large amounts of food.)
5ish nugget day today. So 5 chicken nuggets, broccoli. Undecided on ice cream yet. A LOT of sweets this week. hah! So one ramekin of ice cream plus the rest of the cupcake. SUGAR COMA. I plan to not have a dessert tomorrow because two days in a row is really all I can handle and also I just don't feel good with this level of sugar. April is a tough month! Birthdays on the 6th, 9th, 13th and the 21st. I told the kids we are not doing any treats for Easter this year because it is in the middle of the birthday sugar madness.

Exercise: Did some free weights today. the lowest weight I have to try to prevent injury. It felt good. 15 min
some elliptical after dinner to try to burn off the sugar coma. It helped a little.
Steps: 5k Ankle feels pretty good, I did my rehabilitation exercises twice today. I need to be better about those.

[lpearlmom]

I so relate to so much of what you’re saying. My almost 17 year old has a really hard time focusing on anything for too long. She starts out strong and tries to do everything perfectly but the minute things go the slightest bit of course, she’s completely derailed. There’s just no in between for her. The worst part is she really suffers from it. She feels like a failure and her self-esteem is shakey. I don’t know maybe it’ll motivate her at some point.

I was even more of a mess than her growing up but I don’t remember caring too much about it so that’s the difference. I did crave a less chaotic childhood with more support and wondered if I would have been a more accomplished person if I’d had that. I, too, tried to do things differently for my kids. They’ve had a very secure, stable environment with lots of support yet now I wonder if I did too much for them. Would they be more confident if they’d been forced to be a little more self reliant ? Maybe, probably? Ugh, but we just really do the best we can. I’ve made loads of mistakes and can only hope the good outweighs the bad in the end.

Oh and also married to a very driven guy. He does not do relaxing very well and has always got a million projects going!

[pinkhippie]

Linda, I know what you mean about wanting to offer your kids support and consistency that you didn't have. I have also gone out of my way to give my kids a stable consistent and supportive environment, but it seems like with my oldest it doesn't matter. I will say, I had to do everything on my own from a very young age and I definitely didn't have confidence. In fact, as soon as I was around anyone competent, I would collapse and let them take care of everything, I think because I really wanted to not have to be the one always taking care of everything. Luckily I worked through that.

Saturday
9 am: black half caf coffee
1: pm sauteed broccoli, spinach and lentil vegetable soup
5:15 Fried chicken sandwich, fries and diet coke.

The whole family had a desert except for me. It was mildly challenging but I really wanted a sugar break and I am glad that I did.

Sunday:

11 15 am: 1 waffle, 3 pieces bacon, syrup, grape juice, coffee with whole milk.
5:15 pm: sausage hash with onions, peppers and potatoes. 1 oatmeal raisin cookie with milk(was STUFFED after the cookie. Ate too much*

*really didn't need the cookie. One of those things where my mother in law sent them to us, and I wanted to try one before they were all gone. I started eating it and was like ehhh but finished it anyway. Next time I need to put it down for just a few minutes and think about if I want it after that 5 minutes. Sometimes I make a decision to eat a food, and because I have made that decision, I eat it anyway even if my body is like NO! Stop! Or even uhh... I don't really think I want that. I have discovered with seconds that sometimes I think I want them but if I wait for even 5 or 10 minutes, suddenly I realize how full I am and I don't want them. If I had done that before making my cookie decision, I wouldn't have ended up having it. Oh well, learning moments.

Exercise:
A weirdly busy day, over 5K steps already and my ankle is a little sore. Did lots of cleaning today.

[pinkhippie]

No internet yesterday for most of the day. I think it was a record! We were all losing our minds. Luckily it didn't happen until right after my online Teams class.

April 13 Monday
9:am salted black half caf coffee
1:pm leftover sausage hash with 2 scrambled eggs
5:10 2 pieces pepperoni pizza and one pastry cinnamon stick (husband's birthday!)

Exercise
weights and a little marching in place. Got about 5, 500 steps. Getting better!

April 14 Tuesday
9 am: salted black half coffee
1:pm roasted vegetable soup with half a turkey sandwich, a few grapes
5 :30 pm: 3 chicken fajitas, a few grapes

Exercise: felt my ankle twinge on my big two-week grocery trip today so I am taking it easy today. Plan to still do weights tomorrow though.

[automatedeating]

Golly! That ankle is frustrating! Get better, ankle! Heal, collagen fibers! Mitose, fibroblasts. Calm yourself, prostaglandins.

[pinkhippie]

Golly! That ankle is frustrating! Get better, ankle! Heal, collagen fibers! Mitose, fibroblasts. Calm yourself, prostaglandins.

Hah hah Thanks auto! Do you hear that ankle? Take note!

It is frustrating but I just have to keep trying to strengthen it and my other muscles so it won't happen again.

9am: really wanted breakfast today in my head, but wasn't physically hungry. Black half-caf coffee
1:pm 2 chicken fajitas and 1 banana with some grapes(trying to have a little bigger lunch so I don't overeat at dinner)
5: 15pm: pasta with ham and broccoli, 1 cutie

Weights 20 minutes
Some yoga
Steps are low but I am trying to stay off my ankle while doing other forms of exercise

I finished my final PHP coding assignment of the semester. YAY! My professor changed our last homework to be a self-reflection paper on what we have learned in this class with specific examples, so I am really happy. That is huge stress removed. I still have to make a website in Javascript but I like Javascript much better than PHP.

Speaking of stress, I have been keeping an eye on my resting heart rate. Since quarantine its been 59 bpm. Before quarantine, it ranged from 67- 62 bpm. Obviously my stress is way down. I also have been getting so much sleep since they canceled on-site school instruction.

I lost some sleep this week and I noticed it's up to 60 bpm. I wonder if it's related?

[pinkhippie]

Lost a lot of sleep because just as I was drifting off I realized there was a piece of my coding assignment that I hadn't implemented correctly. I had to jump out of bed and fix it and resubmit it, just under the midnight deadline. Then I was too wound up to fall asleep and probably didn't fall asleep until 1 am. Sigh...

9 am: black half-caf coffee
12:50 pm: leftover pasta w/broccoli and ham, yogurt and banana. ( I have been missing yogurt and bananas since I stopped eating breakfast so I am trying to incorporate them into my lunches, by eating less lunch food than normal and adding a little breakfast food)
5ish: Huge sweet potato with black beans, crema and avocado with garlic green beans. sooooo good. Kids had homemade corn dog muffins. Yes, I spent over an hour in the kitchen making my meal and theirs but it was so worth it. I did feel bad because the oldest was like "where is my sweet potato? my body is craving vegetables" oops, next time I will check with her to see if she wants what I am having.

Exercise:
20 minutes elliptical ( I have resigned myself to my elliptical fate. Downloaded an app to try to make elliptical sessions more interesting. )
5 minutes race skate gliding. Or something like that. Feet stay planted.
Some yoga
(I'm starting to FINALLY get a little restless being at home all the time. Not that I want to go out, heavens no! But, I cleaned the shower stall, I wiped down the whole kitchen, I exercised, I organized and threw away a bunch of old papers and old textbooks, I cooked for over an hour...it's amazing how much more energy I have when I don't have to go out.)

[pinkhippie]

Friday yay!

9 am: black coffee
1:55 pm bowl of vegetable soup with black beans and green beans from yesterday added in. Bunch of grapes
5:15 pm 2 pieces of fried chicken, sauteed broccoli, honey mustard
5:35:pm cup of raspberry sherbet

Exercise:
5 min elliptical
weights 25 min

I have decided to just stop worrying about my steps and just stick to the elliptical and doing my weights for exercise for now. The elliptical and the weights do not hurt my ankle but walking around my living room apparently does. I felt like I had a lot of energy today, not sure if it was the fasting or the increased exercise I have been doing this week or the aforementioned restlessness. Got a lot done around the house... however, only a few hours of schoolwork done. Not feeling super motivated. As usual. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better for schoolwork.

[automatedeating]

That's so great that the elliptical and the weights don't hurt your ankle. Definitely stick with what doesn't hurt!

Hope you wake up feeling motivated and have a productive study session!

[lpearlmom]

Definitely a good idea not to worry about your steps for now! I tend to feel more energetic and clear headed during my fast so could be that.

[pinkhippie]

Auto thanks! I did actually get so much done today! I was really happy. I worked most of the day and I feel ready to relax tonight. We are watching Little Women. My pick. Husband isn't thrilled but he has been picking horror for his movie pick every weekend so I am ready for not that.

Linda, I am hoping it is the fasting. That would be neat. I keep wavering on whether to keep it up or not, but I keep not being hungry until 12 or 1 so I just keep on trucking.

Saturday
9: am black coffee
1:30 pm bowl of veggie soup with green beans and black beans added
6 pm: 1/2 turkey and provolone sub w half fries and a small amount of ranch.
6:20 banana with chocolate and vanilla ice cream. so yum.

definitely been eating a lot more deserts and a lot more to go food since the pandemic. It feels like that is the best weekend entertainment that we can get these days. I am trying to eat more healthily at my other meals to make up for it.

Exercise:

10 minutes elliptical
Some yoga
(my leg muscles are so SORE! from weights. I think tomorrow I will have a rest day on exercise

[automatedeating]

I do worry about how hard it must be for the country in general to avoid eating a lot/too much of comfort foods during quarantine.

[lpearlmom]

I think being flexible about fasting is the way to go. It doesn’t have to be everyday in order to receive it’s benefits. I’ve been doing Eat, Stop, Eat lately which is just a long fast twice a week. It works well with NoS imo.

I’ve been eating my sugar than usual too which is odd for me because I’m usually more of a savory kinda gal. We have been getting our meals from Sunbasket though and that’s helping to keep me on track with healthier eating. We almost never get takeaway because of it.

Btw, how was Little Woman? I might watch that tonight.

[pinkhippie]

Linda, Yes I read stop eat stop a while ago and recently re-read it. I just don't think I feel ready for 24-hour fasts. I do have to be careful with myself to not go overboard and get locked into a "it must be this way or no way" mindset. Which is something I have to be careful about with no s and IF.

Little Women was pretty good! I don't know if you are a fan, but I thought it was well done. I haven't read the book in about 30 years and I saw the old movie about that long ago too so I don't' know how true it was to the original source material. but I thought it was entertaining and I like all the actresses in it.

Auto, for sure! Lots of comfort food! My husband gets pizza like every weekend now. I got a sub this time instead, I am sick of pizza. I don't actually like it that much and never have. (It never felt satisfying to eat like I got enough food) I eat so much more of it now since I have been with my husband.

10:20 waffle with yogurt and syrup, 1 piece of bacon, coffee with whole milk.
5: 15 half of turkey provolone sub, half fries ranch dressing with broccoli and 1 cutie.

[pinkhippie]

Feeling a little down today. Today my 17 year old told me she wants to live with her dad.(He is local and she stays with him every other weekend) On one hand, I would like for him to have the responsibility of parenting her, as she has some very unique challenges but on the other hand I am sure its upsetting me on some deeper level. Outwardly I told her that that was fine with me if its fine with her dad, and I felt like it at the time, but since then I feel kind of detached and withdrawn so I assume I am upset. She says she misses him, which I totally understand, but I also think she is feeling this pandemic quarantine stuff and just eager for a change. Anyway, her dad just separated from his wife and moved in with a girlfriend so the chance of it happening is slim, but the emotional impact is still there.

On the bright side, got a lot done today schoolwork wise. I think I might actually have my final project done in time.

Monday
9 am: black coffee (felt a little hungry around 10 am because I ate breakfast yesterday but it passed)
12:55 1 bowl white chicken chilli, chopped avocado, cup of plain yogurt with sliced bananas and crushed walnuts, half a cutie
5:40: baked barbecue chicken, half a sweet potato and some peas with butter, salt and pepper. Yummm

Exercise:
5 min elliptical
20 min weights

[automatedeating]

Hugs, Pinkie. That must be hard to hear your daughter ask that. From everything you've told me about her, she depends on you and really wants to be near you..... so I wouldn't be at all surprised if, like you said, she is looking for some change/excitement. Maybe also she is irritated about the pandemic and taking it out on you. These are hard times on us emotionally.

But very glad to hear about your productive school day!

[pinkhippie]

Thanks auto. You are right, she does depend on me and has always wanted/relied on me to be there for her. Maybe it would be good for her to be away from me for a while as I worry that she depends on me too much sometimes. But apparently she talked to her dad about it last night and blew his mind because he didn't see this coming. I am so very glad that we have such a good relationship with him and we can eventually work all this out. I am feeling better today, after talking with my husband last night and doing some good ol' introverted processing.

It is hard times for everyone and I can easily imagine that she is sick of me at this point. lol Once kids get to a certain age it seems more like you are living with another adult rather than a kid. The dynamic is so different with my 8 year old and my 10 year old.

I had another fairly productive day. I have been having to really force myself to sit down and do my work but once I do it, its easy to get involved and keep going. It's just making myself start. I am probably ahead honestly, but I would love to turn in my final work for the semester a few days early, its what I normally do and its much less stressful that way.

Weight: 167.2

Tuesday April 21 ( My 7-year-old turns 8!)
S day?

9 am: black coffee
1 20 pm: salad with leftover bbq chicken, avocado lack beans and tomatoes. yummy.
5: 15 pm kids had scrambled egg sandwiches on garlic bread, I had 2 scrambled eggs with sauteed spinach and a slice of provolone cheese
5:35 pm Birthday cupcake! 1/4 glass milk. Peanut butter cupcake with peanut butter frosting. This was like a peanut butter cookie in cupcake form, so good and didn't give me a sugar rush.

25 minutes on the elliptical.
Some yoga
I am trying to take it easy and not get insane on the elliptical or worry if I am going fast enough or hard enough. Just being on there for 25 minutes is getting me breathing harder so I am letting it go at that for now.

[automatedeating]

Happy birthday to your 8 year old! Is this one a girl or boy?

I love your elliptical plan - I am all for easy, steady, relaxed (podcast style, right?)

[lpearlmom]

That’s tough about your daughter. My daughter told me she wants to quarantine with her bfs family. I was like thanks, i feel the love. We will get through these teen years and when theyre 20, they’ll be delightful again.

[pinkhippie]

Auto, the 8-year-old is a girl! I actually have 3 girls.

Total podcast style! Audiobooks and podcasts make exercise so much more tolerable.

Thanks Linda! Yeah these teen years are tough!

I am so happy birthday's are over for the month! This year I did a really good job of managing my sugar intake. We got gourmet cupcakes from a cupcake shop for birthdays this year and that worked so much better. Everyone got one and the birthday person got 2. That way we didn't have cakes just sitting around for days and days and days.

Wednesday April 22

9 am: black coffee
1 pm: bowl of vegetable soup, sauteed spinach
5:25 pm: 2 soft tacos with shredded chicken, lettuce and tomato, salsa, sour cream, and cheese

Exercise:
5 min Elliptical
25 min weights
Some Yoga

[automatedeating]

So smart to go with the gourmet cupcakes!

[pinkhippie]

Thanks auto! The year that I made a cake for everyone's birthday including my own was a disaster! This is much better.


Thursday April 23 2020

9 am: black coffee
1: pm two chicken soft tacos
5:30 1 bagel pizza and a salad

Exercise:
20 minutes elliptical but my foot started to hurt really badly this afternoon. Not my ankle, but my old foot injury

I am going to maybe try to bike ride instead of the elliptical since it isn't my full standing weight. Maybe even get a trainer that can convert my bike to a stationary since it is pretty impossible to ride without hills here. Late birthday present yay!

[pinkhippie]

Oh boy! Today is a rough day. My 10-year-old is basically bursting into tears and getting upset every time her 8-year-old sister says anything, does anything or asks me anything. She is upset because the 8-year-old is drawing the same thing she is drawing, doing the same things she is doing... It's going to be a long day...

Friday April 24

19/5

9 am: black coffee
1 pm: a huge bowl of stir-fried veggies with baked chicken. I was craving vegetables in a fierce way.
5:15 pm 2 pieces fried chicken, sauteed broccoli with honey mustard.
5:30 half a cup of vanilla ice cream with drizzle of reeses chocolate shell.

[lpearlmom]

Oh dear! My youngest daughter used to get mad at her sister for looking out “her” window when we were driving.

Hang in there!

[automatedeating]

She is upset because the 8-year-old is drawing the same thing she is drawing, doing the same things she is doing..

My youngest daughter used to get mad at her sister for looking out “her” window when we were driving

These made me laugh (sympathetically, of course!!)

[pinkhippie]

My youngest daughter used to get mad at her sister for looking out “her” window when we were driving.

hah Linda! That sounds exactly like my girls!

Fortunately, they seemed to get over it later in the day and then happily played together for hours. My 10 year old drew( using images from her kindle) littlest pet shop animals on stiff paper and then colored them in and cut them out, and they spent hours playing with them like they were the little plastic toys. Her creativity always amazes me.


Today's weight was 165.4 I am finally in a "normal" BMI and I really hope to not leave it again.

S day!

Ended up being a 21/3 as I was not hungry until about 3 pm. It was weird.

9 am black coffee I made with my Aeropress, so much more delicious!
3 pm roasted broccoli
5:30 pm crispy chicken sandwich, a small amount of fries, diet coke
5:50 pm half a cup of chocolate ice cream with drizzle of reeses shell

Exercise:
25 min weights(different than the weights I did yesterday, "aerobic" weights)

[pinkhippie]

Today I managed to buckle down and get some work done. Tomorrow is my last week of school and my first technical summer off without summer classes and I am SO EXCITED!

Sunday April 26

10 30 am: 1 waffle with plain yogurt, syrup and 2 pieces turkey bacon with coffee with milk
5 30: pm: a black bean and corn quesadilla with salsa and plain yogurt.

I wasn't hungry between breakfast and dinner, I think I have gotten used to going longer between meals now and that is nice. My breakfast was pretty big though.

Exercise:

No purposeful steps but cleaned the house today so about 5K

[pinkhippie]

6 more days of school left. I had my last online class meeting today. I have just been slowly working on my final projects that are due on Sunday. Trying to only do a little each day so that I can stay objective and not burn myself out.

I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. Really not looking forward to the experience. I only used to THINK I hated grocery shopping. Now I really hate it.

Monday April 27

9am: black coffee
1 pm: lentil vegetable soup, some stir-fried veggies
5:15 pm: kids had tortellini alfredo with garlic bread and broccoli. I had baked chicken breast in marinara with provolone and a salad. yumm

Exercise:

25 minutes of weights

[pinkhippie]

Today grocery shopping wasn't terrible. Just a LOT of work. I didn't bring in my recyclable bags and it made everything so much more work to unload and unpack. Buying for two weeks at a time is kind of exhausting but I love only going to the store twice a month. I went really early yet the store was very busy, unusually so for 8 in the morning. Almost everyone wore a mask, some cloth, some paper. I saw a lot more people and young people wearing masks this week then when I went last week. My MIL made me an awesome cloth mask that is way comfier than the paper ones. I got a hair hanging in my eye during check out though that I realized I couldn't BRUSH AWAY! It was torturous. Very hard not to touch my face on that one.

Glad I got that over with for the next two weeks. Got some more good work done on my website. The project is to remake a website with better CSS and some javascript functionality, so I picked a local manufacturing plant that had a bare-bones website. It has been pretty fun but a lot of work.

Tuesday, April 28

9 am: black coffee made with my aeropress. This is so much better! I need to go back to my coffee maker because it uses up more coffee but its hard.
1 pm: half a banana and peanut butter sandwich with vegetable soup. My kids thought this was a gross combo but it hit the spot for me.
5:30 pm: kids had corn dogs and baby carrots. I had a taco salad, 1 cutie, 1 apple, and some plain yogurt with the fruit mixed in.

[lpearlmom]

I normally really like grocery shopping for some weird reason but now it’s just plain stressful. I mostly use Instacart now but do feel a little weird about paying other ppl to put themselves at risk.

Congratulations on being in “normal weight” range. You must be taller than me because we are about the same weight and I don’t think I’m in normal range yet. Sigh.

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

I know I am so weird. I feel strange having other people buy my groceries. It's funny because instacart is a much better idea but for now, I just keep going to the store. I did buy some shelf-stable goods online and they were delivered today, so that was nice.

I am 5 feet 8.5 inches! Or... possibly only 5 foot 8 now... I may have shrunk a bit. It's hard to get that accurate measurement within half an inch. I am going on the BMI scale by 5'8" just in case.

I had a pretty good day today. I finished the bonus requirements for my website and now I am just tweaking and polishing. For my final paper in another class, it's supposed to only be 2 pages, but I am at almost 3 pages... I need to do some more cutting and editing. I tend to be a bit wordy...

Wednesday April 29

9 am: black coffee
2: pm peanut butter banana toast with milk
5:30 taco salad and frozen berries (separately. )

Exercise:
Weights 25 minutes

[pinkhippie]

Well, today is the first time I have gotten online for leisure reasons. It's 7:23 pm my time. I worked on my website all day today from about 10 am- 7 pm with breaks for dinner and lunch. I was only documenting and organizing and polishing, with a little troubleshooting. But, It is basically done and now I will not look at it again until Saturday morning because I am losing my objectivity. The only thing I will work on tomorrow is my paper and then I will try not to look at that again until Sunday morning.

April 30 2020

9 am a black coffee
2 pm peanut butter toast with banana, an apple and half a glass of milk
6 pm 1 piece bacon, a few bites scrambled egg, (kids had scrambled eggs and leftovers) leftover taco salad, 1 frozen strawberry.

Exercise:

None sat on my rump all day. Tomorrow should be more active.

[pinkhippie]

Oops forgot to update yesterday. Friday nights we have been working our way through all the old Bond films and not coming to bed until late, which means I don't have my usual time to come here and self reflect.


Friday May 1 (Holy cow its MAY already!)

9 am: black coffee
2 pm: peanut butter toast on whole grain bread with half a banana(new favorite lunch) 1 apple
5:30 6.5 chicken nuggets, a small amount of roasted broccoli, honey mustard.
5:50 ramekin of vanilla ice cream mixed with rainbow sherbert, mostly orange. Yum!

Exercise:
weights upper body

Saturday May 2

9am: black coffee
2:30 pm peanut butter toast with banana, apple
5:30 brisket, broccoli salad, sweet potatoes, 1 roll, and 2 slices of cake. One coconut, and one chocolate.

Exercise:
Weights lower body

[automatedeating]

oh my gosh so exciting that you are SOOOOO close to being done with school!! That is amazing and I am, frankly, jealous!! My quarter is going OK but so so so intense and this past week was particularly awful.. I still have 7 weeks left.

[lpearlmom]

Oh yup, you’re a good 5” taller than me. Lucky you. We watched all the bond movies too recently. A lot of fun although my girls cringed over all the blatant sexism during the earlier movies. A very different time I guess.

[pinkhippie]

Auto yes! I am sooooo excited! Today I submitted my final projects for the semester. It is so hard though, because I am a raging perfectionist and I always see things I could improve and I obsess even after I submit. I have to get better about that. I am sorry this last week was rough. Are your students having trouble adjusting to the new online format?

Linda, I know! My husband and I cringe at the blatant sexism in them too. It is so bad! My daughters have no interest in Bond but I imagine watching the old movies with my 17 year old would be excruciating. You know another thing that didn't age well? Pepe Le Pew. OMG! Talk about assault. I watched an old Pepe le pew cartoon with my girls last week and it was insanely cringeworthy. We had to talk about how things used to be and perceptions of what is ok and is not versus now.

Last night we did a social distancing outdoor dinner with the grandparents and it was great to see them but also completely exhausting. I haven't had that much social interaction with anyone outside my immediate family in almost 2 months. I personally didn't want to take the risk of the dinner but I was outvoted by everyone. The grandparents are willing to take the risk and I feel like I have been the sole voice keeping us away from them this whole time, but now my husbands granny is going back home several hours away and everyone is worried we may never see her again ( she is 93) so that is what we did.

My husband had to go and pick up his new mountain bike yesterday from a local sports retailer and it was basically like the pandemic was declared over. ( I stayed in the car) I saw a few people with masks but almost no one was social distancing and everyone was running around like it was all fine. The food trucks were PACKED. I live in Arkansas and here people just don't take it seriously. It's like a battle to take it seriously yourself because its like fighting against the tide.

9am: black coffee
12 pm A huge plate of leftover brisket sauteed with broccoli. This hit the spot in the most amazing way
between: coffee with milk
6 pm: 2 pieces veggie pizza, one small slice chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, frozen berries.

[pinkhippie]

Crazy thunderstorms here this morning. We got hail the size of my palm. I haven't seen hail that big in person since I was a kid.

Yesterday's weight was 163


Today's weight was 164


Weighing myself on Monday after S days may not be the way to go. However, I have been measuring my waist and hips and I have lost inches there so I am happy. I put on my shorts from last summer and they are big on me. And this is great, I am really happy to be back at normal BMI (24.6)

I would love to get into the 150's( I think 155 is probably my best weight) but if I stayed at 160/165 size 10 I would be mostly satisfied. However. I really really really want to at least maintain this weight. Looking back over my weight charting over the past several years I have been maintaining in the mid 170's a lot more than I realized. So although I have accomplished one goal (reaching a "normal BMI and fitting into my old clothes), now my bigger overarching goal is to maintain where I am. That always seems to be a challenge for me. For now, I am going to continue with IF because currently, it's relatively easy, and it seems to eliminate the lightheaded feeling I used to get between meals. And I really enjoy how much better food tastes when I am truly hungry. My brain sometimes feels deprived of breakfast but my body doesn't. I am thinking of having oatmeal for lunch today, we will see.

9 am: black coffee
2:30 pm 1/4 piece leftover veggie pizza, a small amount of leftover brisket and broccoli, an apple
between: 1 cup milky coffee(same coffee as the morning, just heated up and milk added to it)
5: pm 1 bowl of chicken tortilla soup with corn tortilla strips and some cheese and sour cream. Some frozen berries

Exercise:
Weights: upper body

[lpearlmom]

It’s so frustrating when ppl around you don’t take this seriously especially when we know what a big impact social distancing can have. Like just do your part ppl, it’s really not that hard. I also felt talked into a 6 ft apart gathering with our neighbors. It was fine but stressful and a little awkward. My mom just called and said she’s driving to AZ with her bf today to look at an rv. She asked if they could stay with us and I had to say no. I felt terrible but she’s putting me in an really awkward situation. They’re going to stop by at least and we will see them in the backyard. I’m excited to see her but also wish ppl could just chill out and wait a little.

Anyway not sure what my point is but I definitely relate to your frustrations. Looks like you’re doing great overall. It’s good you’re thinking of maintenance. I think a lot of ppl forget to plan for that part. I found that if I just stick to NoS it’s relatively easy. I’m glad you’re still enjoying IF. It’s a great tool if nothing else.