Sammy's Daily Check In

[Sammybunny711]

My plan for tomorrow.

B: oatmeal with soy milk and maple syrup + peanut butter + nuts

L: leftover angel hair pasta with meat sauce and red pepper flakes and grated parmesan cheese

D: not sure yet.

[Amy3010]

Hope your plan went well!

[Sammybunny711]

Green so far.

W: 209 lbs

B: oatmeal + soy milk + maple syrup + chia seeds + flax seed + sliced almonds + peanut butter + strawberries + apple (this breakfast was INSANELY filling. I was definitely stuffed at the end. It made me freaked that it was a million calories, but I'm trying to lower my cholesterol, so I know a breakfast like this is helpful.)

L: Eating out with husband (not sure where yet)

D: Leftover angel hair pasta with meat sauce and grated parmesan cheese

[pinkhippie]

Hi Sammy!

Im glad my observations and experience could be helpful for you!

Congrats on another green so far day! We are almost to the S days!

[Amy3010]

Well done on pre-planning and focusing on the habits!

[automatedeating]

Yummy parmesan cheese!

[Ellis]

Yeeh for your green day! The meals sound delicious!

[Sammybunny711]

Okay, I have an update. I started writing this post this morning, but ended up deleting it while I gathered my thoughts! So, my husband and dietitian have been encouraging me to continue recovering from my orthorexia and binge eating disorder. My goal right now CANNOT be weight loss. I need to get into the rhythm of feeding myself JUST the right amount. Not too much, not too little. So! In that effort, I'm not going to be doing No S right now. I'm paying my dietitian to help me recover, so I'm going to do what she says. And right now, she wants me focusing on eating 3 meals and no snacks. And when I have meals at home, making them according to the healthy plate (the Harvard Healthy Plate basically). My dietitian doesn't want me weighing myself, so every quarter, I will take measurements and photos. As well, I will only be weighed at the doctor's office. I just cannot live life focusing on the scale. It drives me insane and keeps me shackled to weight loss ideals.

So! All of that being said, here is what I ate today.

B: Overnight oats: 1/2 cup rolled oats + 1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk + 2 TBS sugar free syrup + 1/2 cup blueberries + 1 TBS flax seed + 1 TBS chia seeds

L: 1 piece dark chocolate + apple + 2 giant dill pickle halves + 1 piece cold pepperoni pizza + 1 piece (minus crust) of a cheese steak pizza + red pepper flakes

D: Homemade beef stroganoff with broccoli, onions, and mushrooms in the sauce + egg noodles + a couple slices bell pepper + most of 1 fuji apple

I was stuffed after this day of eating. I know I need to practice the abundance principle and have lighter meals, but I'll get there. My goal right now is just to practice the habit of 3 meals every day. I know I can do this. I would MUCH rather do this than count calories or any other "accounting" diet. This is something I believe I can really practice and keep up.

[Amy3010]

It sounds like you have a solid plan and lots of support from your dietician and husband, which is great! And focusing on the habit is an excellent strategy, just hang in there with it - you got this!

[Soprano]

It sounds like you have a solid plan and lots of support from your dietician and husband, which is great! And focusing on the habit is an excellent strategy, just hang in there with it - you got this!

Agreed.

Great you have support at home and naturally we will support you here too. 3 meals a day is the biggest part of Nos habit building.

Not weighing if it triggers you makes sense.

I did my best at weight loss when I focussed on health not wright.

You are on the right track

Jx

[Ellis]

Sounds like a good plan! I know it's tough, but it will be so worth it!

[automatedeating]

I love good husbands. Can I make that into a T-shirt?

[Sammybunny711]

I love good husbands. Can I make that into a T-shirt?

Works for me!

The three meals a day thing is going SUPER well. It definitely just makes my life Much easier. And knowing I can have a small dessert with the meals is a nice treat. It makes all of this much easier. I eventually do want to work on having smaller meals, but right now, just focusing on the habit of it all is enough. I'm on day four and it's going crazy well.

[Miran]

Great to hear 3 meals is working!
When do you have the meals?

I had big issue stretching the meals across the day, trying to push dinner later so i wouldnt have night cravings which are really hard to control. But it didnt work.

Turns out, the opposite works: if i have dinner really early, like no later than 5-6pm , slight but manageble hunger settles in during early evening and fasting state begins by later in the evening and what was once irresistible need to have sips of milk or fruit or candy very late, dissapeared entirely.

[Sammybunny711]

I've had green days for 5/7 days, so I'm getting there. I really love this way of eating and knowing I can have a sweet with any meal I like. I know I'll need to reduce the amount I'm eating eventually, but I'll get there. Habit first.

[automatedeating]

This reminds me a lot of the eating pattern that worked well for Sinnie for many years. She always seemed happiest that way, too.

[Sammybunny711]

This reminds me a lot of the eating pattern that worked well for Sinnie for many years. She always seemed happiest that way, too.

I may not lose a lot of weight, but it is so relieving to eat this way. I hope someday I'll lose, but this is a really important start.

[Sammybunny711]

B: 6 lance peanut butter crackers + atkins shake

L: 3 beer battered small fish filets + 1 giant dill pickle halves + 1 apple + hot sauce + heath cookie + cheddar PB crackers + chocolate (I really went overboard here, but I'm just being honest in reporting.)

D: chips and salsa + refried beans + most of a barbacoa burrito + most of a piece of oreo cake

I am definitely worrying about not getting enough to eat. I know this is a psychological eating disordered symptom. I have been yo yo dieting since I was 13 years old (I've mentioned I'm 37 currently) and my brain remembers all the times I ate in deficits to lose weight. I'm trying to trust that the worry I won't be full will go away with time and with continued, clockwork-3-meal eating. When I meet with my dietitian today, I'm going to talk to her about how I can adopt an abundance principle with eating so I don't worry I won't have enough. I feel really guilty and ashamed that I struggle with this -- especially when there are really people out there who are ACTUALLY starving. I want to eat MODERATE, normal meals and believe that I will have enough. Did any of you struggle with this?

My meeting with my dietitian went well. She said the worry I won't be full will go away with time. She really believes we're headed into he right direction, especially with the three meals. Tomorrow, my goal will be single plate meals.

[Sammybunny711]

Today, I was greeted on the scale by the largest number I've ever seen on myself. I currently weigh 215.2 lbs. I never EVER thought I would see a number like that. I am so ashamed and upset with myself. At lunch, my husband brought up my crazy portions lately. I wish I could dig a hole and throw myself in. I hate my body. I hate that I've let myself get to this point. I know I have eating disorders, but I still feel 100% responsible for this godawful mess. I've got to do something. I can't get any fatter. I just can't.

B: atkins shake, 6 peanut butter crackers, 1 minature rice krispee chocolate bar (Halloween size)

L: all but 1 bite of two shrimp tempura sushi rolls with soy sauce + half a ginger dressing salad + small bowl of egg drop soup and crunchies (lunch date with my husband)

D: pineapple + cheese tortellini and vodka sauce with red pepper flakes and grated parmesan cheese + tiny bit of leftover oreo cake

[Soprano]

Hey, I think we all know that feeling. Please don't panic or you will have a rebound.

There can be all sorts of reasons for scales to go up. You know you need to think long term.

Stick with the 3 meals but maybe look at the size of portions on just one meal for a week. Choose the one where you know if you get hungry you can ride it out until the next meal.

I can't remember but do you exercise, maybe throw in a 10 minute walk after dinner too.

Hang on in there you will make it!

Jx

[Sammybunny711]

Hey, I think we all know that feeling. Please don't panic or you will have a rebound.

There can be all sorts of reasons for scales to go up. You know you need to think long term.

Stick with the 3 meals but maybe look at the size of portions on just one meal for a week. Choose the one where you know if you get hungry you can ride it out until the next meal.

I can't remember but do you exercise, maybe throw in a 10 minute walk after dinner too.

Hang on in there you will make it!

Jx

Right now I'm just trying to get the habit of 3 meals down. Then I will start trying to add in exercise. I have to take baby steps. I usually do ALL the THINGS all at ONCE. This time, I'm trying to slowly build the habits so taht they will hopefully stick.

[Sammybunny711]

I'm leaving for a work retreat today. I hope I'll be able to stick to 3 meal plan.

B: 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk, 1 tbs ground flax, 1 tbs chia seeds, 3 tbs sugar free maple syrup, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1 tbs cocoa powder + sliced almonds, chocolate chips

L: Filet-o-fish sandwich, medium fries, tiny krakel rice chocolate piece. (Had to do fast food, tried to do it more healthfully)

D: Chicken alfredo + side salad + piece of garlic bread

I'm trapped in a cabin with all my work colleagues. Send help. >:( I just want to be at home with my family. I am not a fan of work travel.

[Ellis]

The scale can be so demotivating, but sticking to your plan is important. Building new habits takes time.

[Sammybunny711]

Yeah, right now I'm trying to just stick to plan.

[Sammybunny711]

Retreat is actually going well and the food they bought for it has been fairly normal. And because people are around, not-snacking is no problem (I tend to binge and eat when it's secret). So sticking to plan is going really well. Dinner last night turned out really nice! I'll go update that entry in a second.

B: Everything bagel with cream cheese + 2 cups of coffee with half n half and toffee stevia

L: Turkey sandwich (lettuce, mayo, mustard, tomato, cheese, turkey on white bread) + chips (dill pickle + sour cream & onion) + MnM cookie

D: Seafood boil = shrimp, corn, potatoes, sausage, veggies + spicy seasoning - - dear god, this was INCREDIBLE. My colleagues made it and I ain't ashamed to say that I had three servings. Oh. Man. No regrets.

[Sammybunny711]

B: a French toast bagel with cream cheese + cup of coffee with half n half and toffee stevia

L: boneless Buffalo wings + ranch dip + fries + piece of garlic buttered toast (Had to do Zaxby's on the way home from my work retreat)

A: wine cooler

D: eggs + sausage patties + buttery grits + two biscuits and jelly + part of an apple + chocolate pieces

Still doing well building the habit of 3 Meals a day. My goal is to get through this month doing the 3 Meals without adding more restriction. In September, my goal will be to limit my meals to one plate and work more on portions. Slow habit building is the key, I think.

[Sammybunny711]

B: 2 small biscuits with butter and honey + almost two apples

L: personal pepperoni pizza + chocolate + cheezits (not healthy at all, but I was craving it)