Slipping :(

[FarmerHal]

I'm slipping. Well I'm not clinging very well to noS like I thought i would.
I am going to have to tighten up. I don't know why I did my first 21 days so easily for hte most part and now every hour seems like a struggle. I didn't get much past breakfast this morning and I already blew it.

DH is working SO much and then I have 2 sick kids (a 3yr old almost and a 6 month old) and I am coming down w/it myself. Bleh.
Everything seems to be a trigger. And snacking mindlessly helps me forget my misery otherwise.
I don't know how to fix this! We are all still stuck inside with the cold temps. We did go walking yesterday, all bundled up and played outside a bit today. I started going to the library and a playgroup, since I hardly know anyone here and then for crap, we all get sick!

I"m in an unhappy place. I see the way DH looks at me when I eat like "you shouldn't be eating that" it's pitiful.

Why oh why has this been so stinking hard? My first diet was in the 2nd grade and it's just continued on. I'm feeling really hopeless. It's nearly pointless.
I would give anytihng to be oh, like 180lbs. Here I sit 236, maybe more. I weigh more than my DAD for cripes sakes.

I was truly not expecting this from myself but Bleh. I'm in a bad place.
A sad Tiffani

[hexagon]

Hey Tiffani,

I don't really have much exact advice to give. I know it is hard. You have a routine, you're in the groove, and then something throws you off kilter and you slip. The same thing happens to me. It sucks.

What I've tried to do to cope is the following:

(1) not rely on food so much for support (ok, this one can be hard in times of crisis--I am DEFINITELY not so good at this yet)

(2) recover more quickly when I slip (I seem to be doing this better)

(3) expect that I'll screw up sometimes.

I was weighed at the doctor's a week ago and while I had gained weight, I hadn't gained it all back. I was disappointed, but I knew that I had developed enough of a routine I could probably get back into it. A year ago I couldn't have said that. Yeah, the pounds are back, but I've still made progress, you know?

My point is this--even if you've slipped and gained it all back, are you really in the same place you once were? Probably not. You're more aware of your habits, you might have developed a taste for healthier foods, and hey, you DID fit in some physical activity. Ok, so you're not at 100%. That doesn't mean you're hopeless.

Whether you use No S or find your own path, remember that taking care of yourself isn't "pointless", to quote from your posting.

--H

P.S. Oh yeah...Give yourself a break if you're sick! Plus, when it's cold, well, being outdoors can suck. The other day the wind was so bad that the few exposed square inches of my face were burning from the cold and my eyes were watering so much I could hardly see. I had to walk backwards for a bit. Ah well, it builds character.

[pangelsue]

Good advise, Hexagon. For all of us. Winter is a tough time to be a mom. I work with a number of women with small children and they are all going a bit balistic. If the kids aren't sick, they are screaming through the house. Time for some good weather and good health. Spring is coming. Hang in there. In the meantime, take advantage of as much outside time as you can.
Regarding the diet, I too did the first 21 with one hand tied behind my back but I have had trouble off and on ever since. But, and it is a big but (no pun intended), I am getting a little better and little more confident every day. It is a journey of many miles to change the habits of a lifetime. Why do we all think that some day, just like that, reason will win out over habit and we will just say "Oh, I get it now." and stop overeating, stop medicating with food and stop stuffing emotions with food? That is so illogical and yet it is the basis for every diet out there. We are led over and over again to believe that we learn the right way to eat and zip, zip, we are cured. That works for people with 10 pounds to lose before the dance or the class reunion. For those of us with serious issues with food, we need to practice, practice, practice until we get it right. I am finally finding this out after 55 years of bad habits. Talk about your challenges!!!!
Believe in yourself and your ability to do this. Every time you make the right choice you are one step closer to your goal. You will eventually get there if you don't give up and if you become your own cheering section. Hang on to the victories with everything you got and let the slip ups float off with a sigh of regret.
The only way you can really fail is to give up and stop believing in yourself.

[zoolina]

I hear you, Tiffany!

It's just that time of the year: winter blahs, kids sick, and just not enough "me time" to even begin to think about what to think about. Pretty familiar territory.

This might be bad advice, but maybe you should work on the S's one at a time. You're breastfeeding, right? Maybe you should say: no Sugar, no Seconds and let yourself have a few healthy snacks every day, maybe even as many helathy snacks as you want. But portion them out on a plate and stop when the plate is empty. Then, after you finish breastfeeding you can cut out snacks. After all, this is a life-long plan, if you don't lose weight while you're breastfeeding, but just maintain, it's not the end of the world...

Another thing that is "helping" me is making sure that I'm accountable for my failures and then (trying to) move on. If you look at my check ins you'll see tons of red there lately. More red than green. But I figure I've I keep acknowledging what I'm doing, have done, then I'll eventually get tired of failing and buck up and succeed.

Hang in there, it's not a race.

Zoolina

[FarmerHal]

Thanks you guys, you are so great! I am trying harder today, not letting those voices in my head tell me I am so terrible. Step by step. I like what you said pangelsue- "It is a journey of many miles to change the habits of a lifetime." I think that's sigworthy

It's true though, it's hard to change many years worth of being put down and then continuing on telling yourself you're so terrible.

Last night I had a dream, which made me wake up so sad. I dreamed that I was watching video of myself at the doctor's> I was in those smocks they make you wear when you undress. I got the back view of myself and I said to someone next to me: "Wow, I look like the michelin man sitting on a giant marshmallow!" And then dh replied "Ya, and that pendulous abodomen flap is just *weird!" Isn't that awful!! LOL

I"m going to try to post here every day, and stick with it. It's going to be a lifelong road and I know noS can work for me if I just do it.


Thanks again everyone, Love the support here!!

[wosnes]

Okay, I think the rules are different for you since you're a nursing mom. Three meals a day with no snacks might not be reasonable. And maybe since you're nursing the goal shouldn't be to lose weight, but simply not to gain.

I remember the trials, tribulations and FRUSTRATIONS of being at home with small children. I think part of the problem now is that we tend to be so isolated from others. We don't have the friends/extended family to help out.

Since you're a stay at home mom, you're there 24/7 - and that's probably part of the problem. Is there any way you can get out for even a short time daily or weekly without the kids? Take a walk by yourself when dh is home or go shopping or to the library or something by yourself? When my kids were really little I started getting up an hour before they did so I could have some quiet time daily -- before I was exhausted! I also napped when they did. And I walked early in the morning before dh left for work (actually, often while everyone else was still asleep).

Instead of mindlessly eating, do something else you enjoy. Read a few pages or a chapter in a book; read a magazine article; watch something on TV; work on a hobby or favorite activity.

And stop expecting to be perfect.

[Bee]

Hey Shamrock,
Thanks for posting this... I'm not happy to hear that you're having trouble, but I am a little relieved to know that there is someone out there in the same boat as me. I'm feeling like I'm slipping lately, too. You're not alone. My first 21 days were mostly pretty easy and I was super motivated and feeling triumhant! For me, it was a great feeling to know this is something that finally, I CAN do, but then I took that for granted and stopped making the effort. Well, this IS something we can do, we can do it for the rest of our lives, but it is not easy and you have to take it one day at a time. Eating whatever you want is easy but will make you feel terrible in the long run. Other diets are not easy nor are they do-able over the long term. No-Sing is not easy either, but it is VERY DO-ABLE. But even with No-S you can't be perfect every day of your life, but the rest of today can be successful, and so can tomorrow and so can the next day, and before you know it, you get to take a break. We haven't screwed up, it's not the worst thing in the world, but we have to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other, using a combination of mindfullness and brute force to make successes happen. I don't have a lot of good advice, but I just want you to know you're not alone, but I think we can do this. Hang in there Shamrockmommy, you're not hopeless. This is not the end, it is just the beginning and maybe a few growing pains are just part of the process.

[Jaxhil]

I feel your pain-I am really sorry to hear about the hard time your having, even bad dreams!! I know how you feel, I have bad dreams too sometimes. About my DH, even though he doesn't do anything to deserve the bad rep he sometimes earns in my dreams, LOL! They still hurt though, even if they are just dreams.

I know its hard being stuck home with the little ones, I have 4 kids ages 3-12 (homeschooled, so I have them all ALL the time!) and I just want you to know it DOES get easier with time! It will not always be so stressful. Others have given such good words of advice and encouragement, I just wanted to say I know how you feel, and let you know YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!! and, we can do this!!

I read something someone wrote awhile back I thought was really good. He was a physics professor doing his own "diet". He basically stopped eating between breakfast and supper. Anyway, he said when he got hungry, he would tell himself the pain he felt from being hungry was just the fat melting off his body I love that!! Now I have got to remember to think that when I am in pain from being hungry (ha-usually it's MENTAL or EMOTIONAL pain!).

It might help also to try and be successful only till the next meal, you know what I mean? Instead of thinking, Oh no, it's only Tuesday and I already want to have an S -or a BUNCH of S's, think well, I don't know if I can make it till Saturday, but I can make it till supper! Then after supper, well, I can make it till breakfast, and so on.

This advice is as much for me as for you! I need to do these things as well!

And be nice to yourself- you make an effort to be nice to other people, often people you hardly know I'll bet! Why not extend the same courtesy to yourself? You deserve it-no, you NEED to be kind to yourself! I have this same problem, and I admit, it takes practice to stop negative thinking, but it CAN be done. I know I have reduced the amount of negative chatter in my mind considerably overtime, so I know it can be done! It's hard and takes practice to be nice to yourself, but you can do it!!

I hope this helps a little!
Hilary

[iu]

Refuse to give in to the negatives....Forgive yourself just like you would your little children.....start over and do it better, that's what I do when I "hate my world at times"......This No S Diet is sensational in comparison to what I have tried.....You can do it....Best Wishes

[Kevin]

Assuming this is just too hard to start when you're feeling so dependent on food, can you put out some cut-up some celery, lettuce leaves, baby carrots and grape tomatoes? Snack just on that... it'll keep your mouth busy, give you good nutrition, and you might still be able to lose weight...

It's gotta be tough for you, but if you care this much, you can do it.

[want2bhealthy]

wow lots of positive posts on here, i really need to read these, as i was one of the ones who also did great on my first 21 days on this. struggling a bit, but coming here makes me feel like i can do it, never qitting again!!! thanks guys.

[JustAnnie]

Sham - It's tough being a mom with young kids......been there and done that. It's also harder to find ways to soothe yourself when you have young ones under foot. A cookie is a quick self soother that make your mind happy for a few moments, but does nothing for your body or your chemical balance. I think it would be helpful if you could find some "ME" time to look forward to. Could someone take your kids or come and watch them for an hour or two a couple times a week so that you could have some time to yourself? Maybe even put your feet up and read a good book at nap time? Everyone needs something to look forward too and food is too easy and too available a reward. Hang in there and let us know how you're doing?

[FarmerHal]

I'm doing MUCH better, I have a NOS buddy, jaxhil and we are getting through together. It has helped so much!

I am planning on finding something once a week where I can get out and have fun without kids.

I enjoy anything wiht my dogs, so there are some obedience classes I was looking into. DH wants to also build some agility equipment for me to play with the dogs on, so I look forward to that.

It wouldn't be so bad if the weather would just WARM UP already! So we could go play outside.

Thanks for checking on me guys I'm doing much better lately.

Tiffani (Shamrockmommy)

[Kevin]

Agility would be a great way to get out with the dogs. I don't know if they have much in the way of agility trials where you live, but I've been to watch a few and they are fun (and a bit funny).

Continued good luck. Fairer weather would be nice, wouldn't it?

[FarmerHal]

Kevin, there aren't any "good" agility clubs in my area unfortunately. The only club here REQUIRES that you bring the dog on a PRONG collar. Now I think in the appropriate situation and on the right dog, prong collars are useful but on a very sweet bichon who is touch sensitive, there is NO need whatsoever. Grr..
There are trials within a couple hours of here though. None of my dogs are trial ready as of yet. Once dh gets some equipment built for me, we'll have something fun to do.

And of course there's always chasing around a 3 yr old and a 6 mo old