Hilary and Tiffani Check In

[Jaxhil]

I'm not going anywhere - God willing!

I know, I think the same thing!! I was thinking the other day, I hope we keep this up (I plan to!!), because I know it's going to be a long road to get these habits cemented permanently. After all, I've been overweight most of my adult life-at least 15 years bleck! So I know it's going to take more than a couple or three months to make it take a really solid hold on me, to where I won't even think about cheating, rather than now where I still have to hold myself back.

Still at least now I really feel like the no snacking/no seconds are secure. I never really went for seconds because (although you can't tell from the OUTSIDE) I have a really small stomach -no really, it's true!! hehe-I can NEVER eat a whole hamburger, for instance. I always make it halfway through and I'm stuffed. It's annoying. Even with the *child's* burgers. It's pathetic, truly.

The hard part for me is the sweets. Actually not even the sweets, but the SODA I am proud that I am doing as well as I am, though. I've never managed to do No-S for so long and actually (almost 100% ) stuck with the no soda part. that's why I haven't been too anal about counting off when I cave and have a sip. I know I am drinking FAR FAR FAR less than I used to. Less than 1 can (12 oz) a week-which for me is phenomenal. But I really want to quit doing even that Overall though, I'm pleased with my performance (for lack of a better word!) And again, very proud of you, too!! I think you're doing even better than me!

Just for the record-I really like hearing about your days and family too! I don't have any friends that have kids/hubby etc, and needless to say, that doesn't leave much in common, ya know? It's really nice to have someone to talk to who understands what you're going through. It means a lot to me!!


I still need to get on the treadmill today. I did take the kids out for a good while this morning and planted most the rest of plants that still needed to go in. Four rosemary plants-two around the AC out back, and two along our front walk. And I also finally planted the salvia plant out front too. I have been trying to plant things native to our area in hopes they will survive my brown thumb The weeds are doing really well though -the ones i haven't dug up yet. A couple weeks ago I pulled out all the thistles I could find but some of them got away from me, lol.

Well Gracie's up and I missed my nap opportunity again! Oh bother.

See ya later, have a great day!

[FarmerHal]

ALright, where'dja go!

Today has been good. Hectic but good.

B'fast was multigrain hot cereal with milk, chopped dates and a minibagel with butter. And a coffee.

Lunch was leftover homemade pot pie.

Supper.. not sure yet.

No exercise as of yet.

That's about it from here. It's cold again *yuk* so haven't had much outside time.

Talk soon (hope you're ok!)
Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

hey, Tiffani!! We were posting at exactly the same time makes me wanna say "JINX!" corny, oh well

I'm good, how're you doing? I had a pretty good day. My Mom was here today, and I actually feel like I got a lot done which is rare for me. I do still need to exercise though, but it's almost time to put the kiddos down for the night. I got a couple of skirts cut out and they're already about three-quarters done. Pretty fast for me, but its an easy pattern and I've made it before. That always helps! I figure drawstring waist skirts will be easy to wear as I'm losing all this weight (she says hopefully!!)

We had leftovers for supper and sandwiches for lunch. Very boring but I'm glad the fridge is getting cleaned out so we can actually see what we have for a change

It's definitely not cold here..I have a feeling it won't be for about 7 more months...at least. I miss having real seasons! And real trees-the trees here are basically overgrown bushes-it's sad. We have winter but it's generally mild and VERY brief-little relief from the heat, which I do NOT love. Oh well, it could be worse!

have a good night!

[FarmerHal]

I saw that! How weird is that!? Posting at the same time?!

ANyway, today went well. Just trying to get dd wound down for the night. ds is already asleep thankfully.

It was nice of your mom to visit- is she close to you? (distance wise I mean) My mom is in South Dakota and we're way out here in Maryland.
We did live in Converse, TX and many other places over hte last 11 years.

NoSing is going well today. Thinking about taking tomorrow as an S day since dh has the day off. Just thinking about it anyway, not sure if I will.

Well, a quick note.
For supper I made chicken fried steak and a potato medley. It was all pretty yummy. Oh and I had an avocado. I love those things!

Talk soon.
Oh, we are heading up to Waldorf, it's a bigger town, to do some shopping tomorrow so I will probably be scarce here till evening

Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

Well, you have fun today!! Let me know what you get (if you want, I don't want to be nosy!)

I never got on the treadmill yesterday, but I am getting on right now. I can't believe it's Friday already! YAH!

I am lucky-My mom lives close, about 35-40 min (for me; when she drives it's more like an hour, lol) (and I go the speed limit!! ) You know what, Converse TX isn't that far from me!! In fact I have a good friend (whom I haven't seen for ages, unfortunately!) who lives there now I live north of San Antonio now. We lived in San Antonio for over twenty years though, and just moved here last summer. I was an Air Force brat, though and have lived lots of places.

Well I better get on the treadmill if I hope to get a workout in this AM (the kids have not gotten up yet! SHOCK. I know they will any minute now!

Have a great day with your hubby, Tiffani!

Oh, my MIL lived in South Dakota for awhile (brrrrrr!). Now sh lives in the same teeny town we do

[FarmerHal]

A quick note. Ev's in my arms so 1 hand typing...

Had a good weekend. We were car shopping (ugh!) And looked at a toyota rav4 which I love. Will be getting one in the next few months.

Ended up w/just 2 s days. Am finding I don't like the way sweet stuff tastes! Sooo weird!

Yesterday made a roast pork and gravy w/ mashed sweet potatoes... was soooo good!

U know, I'm finding that I crave veggies, especially stir fry. And fruit too. Did u know avocados are yummy? I did make a cake for easter and colored eggs

How was your weekend? I'll type more soon...

[Jaxhil]

Glad you had a good weekend! New car, lucky you!! Ya gotta tell me when you get it!

Yes, I *LOVE* avocados-I lived in San Antonio for over twenty years (now just 30 min. north ) ). The first time I saw guacamole I thought it was truly disgusting So funny-we moved here from Ohio after I graduated from high school and talk about culture shock! LOL

I am getting that way about sweets too. I had one candy bar this past weekend but I didn't finish it, too sweet! And Jacob, my 12 yr old, made chocolate chip cookies yesterday (my FAVORITE) and I only ate like three, maybe? The last one I only ate HALF (these are fairly small cookies) and I couldn't finish it because I just couldn't take the sugar They're really good but it was just too much.

Last night I ate some chips and queso-one of my favorite snacks-and I felt sick, although I didn't eat all that much.

I had a good weekend overall-remember when I said it wouldn't get cold here for another 7 months? Well it got down to THIRTY TWO that night-a little ways norht of us got SNOW.

Texas weather is really weird

Doing well today. I feel I haven't been losing weight because I am eating at meals whether I am hungry or not, plus I think I am still eating past full. So, since I wasn't hungry at breakfast, I skipped it and didn't eat til 11 am. And then I had one potato and egg taco (yum!) and was full. So I will be really hungry come supper time, I bet!

I'm not sure that's within the no-s rules but I'm guessing it's fine. I still won't eat between meals or sugar. And I never have seconds anyway, since my eyes are ALWAYS bigger than my stomach

Gotta go-the natives are restless

[FarmerHal]

Your N day rules sound good to me.

I also think I put too much as far as portions on my plate. I worry though that I won't make it to the next meal if I don't pile it on. Sometimes that means 3 breadsticks (the pillsbury tube ones) Anyway, I'm working on that but pretty darn proud that I don't snack between meals or eat a dessert.

I've been piling on the veggies at night. I put half a plate full of sauteed brocolli on tonight. It was SO good.
1 bag broccolli spears
Chopped celery
minced garlic
olive oil
balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper

I sauteed the celery and garlic in the olive oil. Once just browned, I added the brocolli. Then I added a couple splishes of balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper. Man, that was so good!

Then had noodles with maranara and breadsticks (2). I'm trying to lean a little toward the vegetarian side and not have so much meat all the time.

Oy, Dd's crying for me. She's decided to be the napless wonder today, since she's working so hard on pulling up to stand!

Talk soon, and see ya tomorrow

[FarmerHal]

Ok, so yesterday was a success and so far today is too.

B'fast was an egg/sausage burrito with a yogurt and banana.
Lunch was home made crackers, carrots and a turkey cheese avocado sandwich on whole wheat with v8Fusion peach juice.
Nummy. Did I mention i love avocado??!!

Supper, not sure.
I have a dental cleaning today and have to decide when I'll fix my teeth. I think I'm going to put it off until the next cleaning. Grr.

How are you doing today?
Evoli is finally napping today (hooray!) so I have gotten 2 huge loads of laundry folded, one put away and 2 more going in the washer/dryer.

Noah wants me to play 'L people so I'll catch you later!!

Talk soon

OOOhhh and I thought of you today when I couldn't finish all of my lunch

[Jaxhil]

LOL-I have been doing better on the not over eating! Yesterday I was *reeeeeeally* hungry by supper!

But I didn't cheat, hooray!

Today's good so far; potato and egg taco and blueberry yogurt for breakfast; leftover sloppy joe on a homemade wheat bun with (cheetos)-oh, the SHAME!!! *cheetos*?!! I know I know-but I almost never have them-I bought them the other day and this is the first serving I've had. I really only buy those like once a year-they're so bad, lol... anyway

So how do you make homemade crackers?? I have tried, long ago, and they just weren't up to my standards..not as crispy as store-bought. And then there were the burnt ones-yikes! I would love it if you have a good recipe (or even tips!) on how to make them!

The broccoli recipe you posted the other day sounds really good, btw-and I'm not a big broccoli fan, but the balsamic vinegar and garlic sounds so good with it. I love garlic I really need to up my fruit and veggie intake. Tonight should help. I'm making Tangy Chicken (something like that!). It has celery, green pepper, onion, carrots, minced garlic and ginger and pineapples in a sweet and sour type sauce. It has pineapple juice, brown sugar (not much, don't worry!), soy sauce, & salt. I think that's it. And I'll serve it over brown rice. I hope DH likes it! I am trying to find recipes that have a Chinese flair to them so we can have our fix of Chinese food without the health risks of the lemon chicken and sweet and sour dishes from our local cf place (ie, deep fried, corn syrup sauces!)

I really want some guacamole now. Luckily I'm out of the right kind of chips to eat them with!

You know, though, seriously...I'm really not that tempted to snack any more! Even when the cookies are munched right in front of me now! LOL-I no longer (usually) feel the need to leave the room while they have their snacks. I'm *amazed*. I really (deep down) NEVER believed Reinhard (sorry!!) when he said the desire to cheat would eventually go away for real. Now I'm not saying I've arrived-far from it I'm sure! But now I can actually see it happening...

to ME



how cool is that?

I even went jogging/walking today-outside!! YAH!! the sun is out!! Haven't seen it for *days*. Back to sweatin' as usual, LOL.

Talk to ya later! hope your dental trip went ok! I still need to set up an appt, blah!

[FarmerHal]

Do YOU know what TODAY IS???

I went back and counted to see how far into our set of 21 we are and TODAY is day 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Congratulations my dear!! Set 2 and 3 whooopieee!

Today went well. I got pretty hungry tonight, Ev's been nursing a LOT again (growth spurt and all that work pulling herself up). So I had to have a glass of soy milk tonight. I'm still hungry but hey, it's just a feeling and it will pass.

I love how light my stomach feels, like my whole GI system. It's quiet and calm. I'm not all bloaty and overfull and gassy. It's a good feeling.

I hope to draw from this success and continue on doing well for my body. Now, if I could just throw in at least a 30 min walk every day, that'd be something.

We all went for a shortish walk tonight after supper. Maybe 20 minutes and it was slow because Noah wanted to walk Gobie (our minpin).
I would prefer hopping on the treadmill first thing in teh mornings but then there's the whole shower issue and what to do with 2 little squirmy kids.
I could figure something out.

I am totally inspired by how much we have changed in so little time. So many deeply embedded issues which I have realized and am overcoming each day. A M A Z I N G. I worry I'm on a little honeymoon with NoS and I might fall off the wagon (hope not!)

Just got done telling an online friend abotu noS. Haven't talked to her in quite a while and she told me she has lost 100lbs in a year!!!! Doing lo carb and 60min cardio/30min strength 4x a week. WOW. 100 lbs!!??

She weighed 236 when she started. I remember how sad and miserable she was. She's a total gym rat now, she says she loves working out.

Well I should get my butt to bed while these kids are asleep.

Congratulations girl!!! See you on Day 1 tomorrow

ETA: your chicken recipe sounds super yummy! and my dental cleaning went well. I still have 4 crowns and 8 fillings to do (ugh).

[Jaxhil]

No way!! Are you kidding?!

Well I looked at my calendar because I was sure it couldn't have been 3 weeks already-and whaddoyaknow, it IS!!!

That went shockingly fast- and easy even!

Very cool Congratulations to us both!!

That's great about your friend! Wow, 100 lbs, that's amazing!

You know the 2 lbs I lost? I haven't lost anything more, and probably gained a tad back. I don't know why it's not coming off-I don't feel like I've been an idiot on the sdays. I'm really bummed. I am not going to quit, but maybe my dh is right, maybe I have to exercise like 2 hours a day to see any real results. Sigh.

Now I know why the older women here whine about it being harder for them-they are right I think. I'm 42 and I guess it's gonna take a lot more exercise than I thought. Or maybe its my food choices, they aren't all that healthy overall. I had salad and steak last night-oh man it was goooood!

Anyway. Feeling discouraged, but not quitting.

[FarmerHal]

I hear ya. I am still sitting at 234. I am betting I'm going to have to do some serious exercising to get this weight to budge. I do know that when you're this big, it doesn't take many calories to just maintain and sit there, fat.

I've been bummed about that too but still, I've come to such peace with food, my body feels so much better and I'm freed from the emotional food roller coaster. That's worth something right there, and I push myself to stick with it.

Ev's been a constant booby parasite last 3 days and so I've had to have an extra glass of soy milk or a coffee here and there to make it to the next meal. I'm pretty sure my meals are still too big but I still worry I won't get enough to last me to the next meal and I'll lose my common sense about hunger beign just a feeling and there I'll go on a crazy snackathon.

I try to push those bad thoughts out. Let them float in, acknowledge them and then let them float out.

I dunno, what do you think? Do you want to tighten down portions for a week and see whathappens? I think I need to be more careful on S days, I get to be a bit of an idiot and permasnack as well as waaaaaay too much dessert. But then again, if I don't will I lose it on the N days?

It's a quandary

IBB soon,
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Thanks for replying so quickly I can't tell you how much it helps to have you to talk to about these things!

You have been doing sooo well-I can hear how you've become more at peace and HAPPY from your posts. I don't think we should mess with that, ya know? I think it's the exercise that's gonna help the most. I mean judging from what you've listed for your meals, I think you are doing extremely well on your eating! Especially since you're nrusing. I know I was way more hungry during nursing times (especially growth-spurt nursing times!!). So I think you should just stick with what you're doing as far as meals and your S-days.

So. Exercise more? I can get the boys to watch Gracie and I can get on the treadmill. I just have to make myself do it! And I can do floor exercises and even weights (we have dumbbells) right here too, no need to join a gym (ugh!)

I'm game if you are!

Thanks so much for being there Tiffani! I am so glad i met you

[FarmerHal]

I'm glad I met you too! You're a VIP to me now

OK, I can get on the treadmill when dh comes home, I can exercise 30 minutes fast walking 5 days a week (option of taking it easy on S days so I can allow myself a break).

Good plan?

I start tonight.

You know, I went from 206 to 170 a few years ago. I was running 3 miles every day and then I did "7 mile sunday" and ran 7 miles with a friend. It was cccrrraaaaazy!! But the weight melted off. I didn't give it a thought (and I was counting calories). I managed to keep it up for 3 months (it was actually just to kill time when dh was deployed) and then gave it up. Gained up to 218, had two babies, gained up to 243 or so.

I seriously need to get running again but I feel like I'm sooo far behind it's so much work and hard to even jog 10 minutes. but then again that's where I started the first time.

Lots to think about.

[FarmerHal]

I just wanted to add how proud of the both of us I am. You and I both have over come cravings and hunger and LEMON COOKIES!!! Gah!!

Let's keep it up.

Oh, and you come up in my conversations daily as "my diet buddy Hilary"

[Jaxhil]

I'm ready!! Lets' do it!

LOL-I was telling Jack last night how well you are doing He knows who you are too

Wow, I'm impressed, 3 miles 5x a week plus SEVEN (do you see my eyes bugging out?!) on Sundays??!!! VERY impressive. Hmmm sounds like a goal to work for! Although I am really not sure I could EVER do seven miles-Although I did do a 10K once when I was like 19-I thought I had signed up for the two mile *fun* run-imagine my surprise when I found out the DAY BEFORE that I had actually signed up for the 10K-what is that, like six miles?! OUCH! I couldn't walk for days, lol. But I did it. That was back when I was one of the girls I love to hate now (lol-not *really* hate!). I weighed a whopping 105lbs soaking wet-arrgh. I am only 5'1" though, so I wasn't anorexic or anything.

I know what you mean about not be able to imagine running that far! When I first started back on the treadmill, I couldn't JOG at a 3.5 mph rate for more than like 2 or three minutes-and I was PUSHING myself!! I would feel like I was gonna die, really! Now I can jog a mile non-stop- in just over 15 minutes. Granted it's still slow, but I DIDN'T STOP. So I know you can do it, just take your time! I started out by just jogging as long as I could, and then walking fast. At first I walked more than jogged. Now its the other way around. Now it's too the point where the fastest rate I could go before (like 3.6mph I think?) is now toooo slow-I actually have difficulty jogging that slow. Now I jog between 3.8 (minimum ) and 4.2. Even the 3.8 is starting to be too slow! I know it's still not fast, but hey, it's improvement that I can see!!

Sorry I got so long-winded! I'm excited to do this!! I will start making it a priority again today. I had been doing really well but last week I slacked and only did two days. Yesterday I did about 30min outside-and it's weird but it was a lot harder than the treadmill! But way more interesting and fun! LOL.

Anyway, not sure how long I will go;I want to do an hourlike I have been doing-I mean walking and jogging, not jogging the whole time obviously!

I still can't imagine running 7 miles every Sunday for fun. How GREAT that must have felt! I was on the cross country team while in high school-i loved running. Its kind of making me smile thinking about getting back into it! I think

I gotta feed the crew now! talk to ya later!

[FarmerHal]

It is so weird but I loved seven mile sundays. It felt SO good to run, and after a while you just get into a cruise control where it feels like you could keep running at that pace forever. I was doing 9 minute miles at that point too. And I still thought I was fat If I only knew!!!

I would like to be able to work up to 3miles a day. Today I'll be lucky to make it 10 minutes

I have lost those 10lbs or so since December but I'm just finally noticing it in those jeans. Lately the scale has just sat there 234.5 taunting me. Fatty fat fat.

I'm just joking there, honestly.

I have Evoli sleeping and Noah is playing so I get a moment to myself. DH is going to come home and I have to go pick up Darby from the vet (she had a teeth cleaning) and then I'll hop on. I'm kindof dreading it to be honest with you I might be more enthused if I actually got to sleep at night.

Anyway, I'll stop whining. I'm whiney. And tired. And been hungry the last couple of days... I hope Ev sleeps better tonight.

Talk soon
Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

LOL-I know how you feel! I'm a BIG whine-baby, *especially* when I'm tired.

I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, doing some jogging, hill climbing and fast walking. Now my shins hurt Oh well- it WILL be worth it!

You will feel really good when you get done!! Try maybe saying you'll get on for at least x amount of time and then see how you feel at that point. If you want off, then go ahead-you started the habit! I do that and often I find myself thinking, well, I could do another 5 or 10 minutes, or whatever.

Gotta go get supper ready-leftovers, my favorite



Btw, it *is* weird that 7miles was FUN- just kidding!! I'm weird like that too sometimes-I (*after* I've done a good workout) often think how fun it is to exercise! The problem is getting my butt out of the chair to start, hehe.

[FarmerHal]

So I did my 30 minute walk at 3.2 mph. I was reading a book and had that on the console so I didn't have to see the time creep by, Before I knew it 30 had gone by. I am going to try to work up to a jog but I was not wearing the right clothes for that fast movin

Well I'm proud of us! We did good today.

Day one, right? I think. I am losing track already.

Supper was pizza (oven). And corn (the steam in teh bag kind) and applesauce and a fruit bar. Yes, I'm hungry. It was probably a bit much but the way Evoli's been nursing, the last 4 days I've been really fighting to ignore the hunger. I am trying to not feel bad but I do think I was successful anyway.

Picked Darby up from the vet and her teeth are so white and pearly and her breath is wonderfully puppy fresh again Hooray.

Noah is a total grump and Evoli is crawling around. Better check the email while I still can

Talk soon!
Tiff

[MerryKat]

I just had to pop in and congratulate the pair of you on your success in altering your habits.

Well Done & keep up the great example.

[FarmerHal]

Thanks Merrykat! Our buddy system has made an enormous difference, that's for sure!


This morning is going well. Had some meusli withmilk and banana and a hard boiled (easter) egg. I'll ahve some soy milk here in a little bit I think. Been trying to catch up on 4 loads of laundry, got 2 going so I got too distracted to pour myself a glass.

Still plan on another 30 mins when dh comes home. It wasn't that bad.

HOw are you doing?
Just a quick check in, Ibb later.

Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Good morning Tiffani!

And thanks MerryKat! I agree, it's all the difference to have a buddy in it with you!

My Gracie just (few days ago) learned to say "good mornin' " and she just melts my heart-don't you love the way toddler's talk?! When they're not SCREAMINg that is

Any way, I did 45 min this morning already (yah!) and I did walk and jog, but not as many hills, because my shins still hurt a bit.

I'm having a strawberry/banana/plain yogurt/cottage cheese (whew!) shake, and boy is it *GOOD*-these have to be the sweetest strawberries I have ever tasted in my life-WOW they are yummy We save over-ripe bananas in the freezer to make shakes with-the kids think they're getting dessert for breakfast, lol, but I know they're getting a good healthy treat.

I need to do laundry too blah...but it can wait-we're gonna go visit Grandma this morning (my Mom) instead of her coming here. She hurt her knee last week and is on crutches-bummer. She'll be alright, it'll just take some time to heal.

have a GREAT day!! see ya later!

[FarmerHal]

Phew! I just did 20 minutes of crazy biking pulling a trailer wiht 2 screaming kids in it up and down steep hills. My legs are JELL-O.

I should try to do something else today to make up that 10 mins. BUt my heart is still pounding.

Lunch was a mcD's burger but anyway.

Day's going pretty good.
You are doing AWESOME with your exercise Keep it up!

Talk later
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

I think your bike ride sounds like a HECK of a workout-especially mentally, LOL. My legs would be jello after that, too!

I had a chicken salad sandwich at my Mom's for lunch and fritos. At least I chopped up celery and put it in-does that count as a veggie, hehe? I *never* do that. But I thought it might be a good way to start a habit of eating more fruits and veggies. Now I've had them at breakfast and lunch One more to go!

I'm gonna *try* to take a nap-I just put Gracie down, so it's now or never.

[FarmerHal]

Didja get your nap in? It sounds heavenly!

I am HUNGRY. I am hatin' the N days this week, terribly, but I'm hanging in there. DD is also having nighttime nurseathons and so I'm not only making a ton of milky, I'm also not getting much quality sleep.

I keep reminding myself they grow fast and before I know it I'll have my bed back to myself.

I'm kindof crabby today Just can't wait for the weekend so I can have some me time and some more FOOD. lol

I stepped on the scale today and I probably should not have. I am still stuck at 234. Grr. Do you know how far it seems to even get to 200 and then I want to get to 180 or 170? Man. This just seems impossible. I'm sorry, I don't want to make you upset I'm just having a poopy hissy fit I guess.

Sleep would probably help the most.

Talk later, Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Yes I am there!! I can't believe that when I make it to 150, I'll still have 40 lbs to go

I am wanting food too!! It's like 9am here and i am wanting to eat. Actually mostly I want a nice cold SODA At least its Friday. I'm seriously wanting to take an S day because its Friday the thirteenth. How pathetic is that?!

And when your kiddos get to be 8, and 10 or 12 or whatever, you'll have plenty of days when you wish they were toddlers or NURSING again, rather than deal with the crap they pull when they're bigger, trust me!! LOL. The boys are driving me NUTS already-fight fight fight it seems that's all they do. My twelve yr old just tackled his 8 yr old bro for making a smart comment..you'd think he'd broken both legs from all the screaming. So enjoy the (relative) peace while it's here. LOL-I know it's not peaceful to hear a baby cry, but ((hugs)) it'll get better soon!

Can we make it today? S days are almost here... it's my third set, your fourth, I think we can (but part of me wants to give in!).

I will keep fighting it...hang in there Tiffani, we're almost there! And seriously, steal little naps whenever you can!! FORGET the housework-your babies (and dh) need a happy mama more than a clean house!) I always would say I'd nap when they did but I most often used that time to clean-bad move, really. the sleep is more valuable!!

[FarmerHal]

I thought about taking today as an S day too. I'm sorry it's getting hard for you also.This hunger... ugh.
I know it's worth it to keep this up, totally worth it (the idea of 'snacking' doesn't sound all that appealing) but then again, I am so hungry I'd love to allow myself an apple with some cheese slices at night.

I can't be 'starving' really because I'm so overweight. It's just ridiculous the emotions I'm having about noSing. Don't get me wrong, I dont' want to stop but yowza this is hard.

I know others have said that since I'm bfing I should allow a healthy snack when needed- what do you think? Evoli has been nursing so much (growth spurt I think) I dunno. I don't want to 'cheat.'

I did walk just a few minutes ago, 30 minutes outside trying to keep up with dh's fast walking and he was the one pushing the stroller with 2 kids. My hip (sacral joint) is really hurting me. I tried jogging a bit and that was a big mistake.

I don't know if I told you that I have ankylosing spondylitis, which is inflammation of the spine (autoimmune issue). Primarily in me the inflammation has settled into my sacral joints, more the right side than the left. Imagine, if you will, someone hitting a baseball with a bat straight into that hip/sacral joint with full force. It'd hurt like heck and leave a nasty bruise. Well I don't have the bruise but I have that tender, bruised feeling. So much as a soft touch causes me to cringe and if I accidentally get bumped or push against a door (sometimes you have to back through a door at a department store w/the strollers, if that makes sense) ohmagawd does that hurt.

I am not taking anything strong for it. There are drugs that help suppress your immune system (but can't take while bfing). There are also stronger anti inflammatories. I am just taking motrin for now. I might look into physical therapy again.

So that's what I'm up against. I don't know if I'll ever be able to run w/out having a lot of pain. Fast walking today was hurting me. And I'm sure it's really going to ache tonight.

Sorry, don't mean to be whining here.

Just a lot of things whizzing around in my head.

I think I might have that apple/cheese.
Or maybe a decaf?
Ugh.

What do you think? Thanks for listening.

[Jaxhil]

I am so sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday-it was a crazy busy day.

Yes I absolutely think it would be FINE if you have a *healthy* snack while BF. In fact, even a good thing. Your body obviously needs it or you wouldn't be having that starving feeling! Just be 100% honest about whether its real hunger or stress/emotional/head hunger. I am sure you will know the difference. I am not feeling that strong of real hunger when I want to cheat. So I am able to distract myself w/ a glass of water or doing something else.

So yes when necessary-a HEALTHY snack is fine for a breastfeeding mama

I am sorry to hear abut your hip pain too! In that case I would not recommend fast walking or especially running!! I am obviously not a doc, but if it hurts or aggravates your condition in any way, don't do it! If you can handle a leisurely walk then go for it, I think even that would do wonders for you, mentally and emotionally especially. That sucks about the pain though I have hip pain too from time to time, which I think is realted to the 60 extra lbs I've been carrying. I remember once whenI was pregnant with Michael (8yrold) I got a bout that almost dropped me in the middle of home depot. I mean I thought I was gonna hit the floor, it was such a sharp searing pain. I managed to hobble out to the car, and get home. I had to lay down for hours with my legs elevated till I could walk again. It happens still from time to time, usually less severe, but I've noticed it doesn't happen nearly as often since I've started walking/jogging regularly on my treadmill. I think strengthening my legs has helped, I don't know.

I really feel bad I didn't check back in last night. I hope you made it through ok and you're having a much better day today. I have to admit I had a snack last night at about 11 pm. So since it was technically only an hour from my S-day(and there was no soda involved!!) I am counting yesterday as a success. If you need a snack due to bfding, you should still count it as a success too, as long as you know you ate a healthy snack and you were truly hungry.

With all the stuff you're dealing with, Tiffani, I am even MORE impressed with your tenacity for sticking with this. Give yourself a big pat on the back from me, you are doing GREAT GREAT GREAT!!

I can't thank you enough for doing this with me. You have made such a big difference in my life, its astounding. I feel sorry for no-essers doing it alone

Now that its the weekend No S feels easy again

Check in soon! I'd love to hear how you're doing! Oh btw, I am finally seeing results! My boobs are getting smaller

How rude-it figures-grrrr

[fitchick]

It sounds like you are doing good if you are having veggies and salads for dinner I wish I had that much discipline

[FarmerHal]

Hey howdy. I did ok last night. I actually got distracted and didn't get a chance to have the apple. It definitely was hunger and not out of boredom or stress.

I'm sorry you have hip issues too. They're not fun, they can cut you right down toyour knees, literally! MOst of the time I can ignore it, I guess I'm just so used to that being there.

Had a good S day today. We went to a hand dipped ice cream parlor for our S after lunch. I got "muddy sneakers" it was vanilla with carmel and chocolate and peanuts in it. I swear, I was nauseas after only the first scoop (you know how they pack the ice cream down into the waffle cones). Wow. I mean I was about ready to spew! It seemed so sickeningly sweet an my body said "no way, no more thanks!" It is SO weird to me lol since I would have easily taken down a tripple dipper pre nos.

There was a family there. The mom was probably in her 40's I suppose, the dad too, maybe late 40s. The daughter was younger than me, maybe 21ish. Well the mom was the slimmest and she probably was around 250. The daughter was much bigger than me, guessing she's close to 300. The dad, wow. I think he must have been 500 lbs. He had a cane. This is exactly how I DON'T want to live. I think if I hadn't found noS and you that I would certainly be on my way. I watched them eat through giant bugers with bacon and cheese, chili cheese fries and then the large size blizzard dessert. The daughter reasoned with the mom that it was "only" a 16 ounce cup, she usually has the 20 ounce one. Well a serving is only a half cup (that's 4 ounces) so already she's having 4 servings.
I feel for their pancreas's! I'm also sad for them. They are missing out on so much and it seems eating is how they spend their day (that's how I used to anyway!) Seeing these people though, it reaffirms that I (we) AM on the right path to wellness. Even snacking doesn't sound all that great. I can hold off on the crackers anyway until lunch with a sandwich and fruit/carrots. I am thouroughly enjoying that I am generally not hungry till about 3pm but I am betting that will get better by the time Ev gets through this growth spurt.

Thanks for the compliments about sticking w/it even with bfing and my hips and such. It's really not that big of a deal. I try to ignore the AS in my hips and just go on with my day.

I am SORRY about your boobs! LOL Those are the one body parts that I wouldn't mind staying luscious lol. I generally lose in the upper body too. I've noticed (even though the scale doesn't say so) that my neck (the back of it) isn't as squishy and chubby! <shrugs> so apparently the blubber's moving around somewhere else lol.

Things do seem to be tightening up as well. I can't wait for the weather to warm up so I can be more active outdoors.

Ok, I'm writing a novel. I hope you have a great weekend. Did you guys get any of the bad weather?

Talk soon
Tiffani

[FarmerHal]

It sounds like you are doing good if you are having veggies and salads for dinner I wish I had that much discipline

Thanks fitchick. I find I have to have the veggies at night especially since they really fill me up. Plus I fill half my plate with them- so it feels like I"m being 'naughty' by eating so much lol. Reverse psychology? lol

[Jaxhil]

You are too funny, I know, I know about the boobs. Really You'd think I could just keep THOSE First I saw the difference in my shoulders and upper back, too! I see shape there-it's slight, but it's there!-that I haven't seen in a long time.

That's great that your ice cream made you nauseous, LOL!! Isn't it weird how that has changed?! Weird, unexpected, but GOOD-VERY good!

Yes, we got hit by the storm-it was short but intense! I was driving up hwy 16 as it was coming my way, praying the whole time I'd make it home! They came on the radio saying it was "a dangerous storm" So I was freaking out a bit, LOL. Luckily I only hit a smattering of rain and I missed the main part of the storm and made it home safely. But It was a long 60 minutes, let me tell you!

It's been a loooong day-grocery shopping-YUCK. I go twice a month so it takes forever-plus I drive the 30-40 min to SA and do other errands and stuff so it ends up being at least a 5 hour trip. Ugh. But I usually take one kid with me, and that's fun to have one-on-one time with one. They *love* that

Plus I took them out to lunch, (DH stayed home with Grace), so it was me and 3 boys!) Then I took them to see a some cowboy stuff at the frontier museum-LOL. They had fun. Before all that I went and picked up a solid walnut wood twin sized (old, antique?) at a yard sale in town. Forty bucks, not bad! Its a sweet little bed! It does need a bit of work, but it's in fairly good shape. We still need a mattress and all, so she's still going to be in her crib for awhile. She's pretty attached to it so I guess she won't mind waiting.

Geez-no wonder I'm tired! LOL. I'm glad to hear you made it through the tough time. I guess we'll have plenty of those, but it will only make us stronger, right?

That's a sad story about the family you saw! I know I try to limit my kids' snacking habits, and make them aware of what can happen if they let themselves go overboard. It's really a shame. I can imagine it was hard not to go tell them about NoS, huh? Unfortunately it sounds like they were enjoying themselves. But you know deep down they must be miserable. I am so glad I found this site. I am changing, and I am SOOOOO glad.

And I love when you post long stories I look forward to hearing about what you're up to and how you're doing! So you can yack as much as you want

[joasia]

I always want to smile when you mention your Pb&J bagel, because it reminds me of my cheese addiction

[FarmerHal]

Man, those pb&j bagels..... mmmmmm

I had a good S day today. Got a bit piggish on the random snacks. It's not that I ate mass quantities, but I'm feeling pretty miserably full. Will be glad when it's tomorrow and an N day.

Never did get a chance at that apple wiht cheese, maybe b'fast.

It rained here all weekend, so we didn't get to do much other than sit around hte house for the most part. Ugh. I have cabin fever in the worst way. Bleh. C'mooooooon spring.

Talk to you tomorrow!!
Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

That's how today has been for me-not a huge quantity for each snacks, but too many *little* ones. Now my tummy hurts-serves me right! Oh well.

Back to sensibility tomorrow

[FarmerHal]

Here I am. Why do the kids insiste on getting up at 6:30? Can someone tell me??!!

Had a b'fast burrito that was leftover roast chopped up with carrot and couscous. Pretty good. And a soy milk.

I weighed myself. remind me never to do that on a monday, never. I am just so frustrated!!!!! Is it too much to ask for the weight to come down and at least get to 200? 235.5? C'mon, that's more than a lot of football players. Ugh. I feel better in many other ways, it's just the weight sitting there and sitting there and then going up and up and down oy. You know what I mean?

Today I'm going to try to get my 30 mins in. I know eventually this is all going to add up. I hope.

Trying to not be grumpy. I hate mondays on so many levels lol.

[Jaxhil]

Yes, sweetie, I know EXACTLY what you mean-mine get up at the crack of dawn (oh, wait BEFORE the crack of dawn!!) every day.

It is very frustrating, how the weight is not plummeting-I know what you mean!! It's not fair. If my DH was doing this he'd probably have lost at least 20 lbs by now-argh.

And you know I (very briefly) toyed with the idea of getting on the scale this morning too-then I remembered what day it was (also my least favorite!!) and nixed that idea PRONTO. Remember this new NO-S rule: Never -I say NEVER!!- weigh yourself on Monday. And If you slip, immediately subtract 5 lbs from said result. Or more if necessary. Repeat until desired result is achieved


That should fix that nasty scale. Hehehe. Call it the No-Scales rule-see, it fits already! LOL.

I've been good today. I have a nasty headache-kinda light headed, yuck, which is why I didn't post earlier. Hang in there, and be grateful Monday comes only once a week. And I doubt you weigh more than most football players-unless you count junior high, LOL.

And I am thoroughly convinced it *WILL* get better. We just need to keep it up!!

[FarmerHal]

I have to keep telling myself today: It's like compound interest. Eventually the little bit we do today will make a big difference later on. That's the idea. New noS scale rule noted

I have had kind of a bad self-esteem day. I came SO close to failing today. So close. I made muffins between b'fast and lunch so I could both 1. warm up the house and 2. have one with lunch. I nearly ate the batter. I was so upset and was about ready to say screw it.

I got a hold of myself and thought of having to report to you and that would totally mess up our perfect sets of 21 LOL.

The muffin was yummy for lunch, Evoli even tasted some.

Dinner, well I went a bit crazy but hey, it fit on the plate. I think the appetite is still crazy. I may have an apple tonight. I made homemade bread this afternoon. It is so delicious. Just plain white bread. Haven't made bread in a long time so I thought I'd practice. I use my kitchenaid mixer with the bread hook and it sure makes short work! I don't have to do any kneading at all, so less mess.
It smelled great! I will have to find some recipes that are more whole grain and add some nuts and whatnot to it too, to make it healthier.

So that was Monday. Glad it's nearly over. Noah is absolutely stir crazy. He's so bored and with so much energy, he's gotten out of control a few times today. I had to spank him after he bit his sister hard TWICE. Ugh. I don't like to spank but that warranted it right there. :*( This boy needs a good run outside every day and I cant' wait for it to WARM UP ALREADY!!! lol

I didn't make my goal of exercising today. I should have but Evoli was very clingy, wanted to nurse a ton and then of course in between Noah was clinging on me and wanting me to play with him and read books and what not.

Right now Noah is 'snuggled down' in his blanket on the sofa and Evoli has cruised on over to Daddy's chair. So I get some internet time (yay!) and then early bed.

Tomorrow dh is out of town till late so I'm sure I'm going to be frazzled by the end of the day.
How do you do it with 4 girl??

Today's food:
B'fast was leftover beef roast and c arrots, chopped with cous cous in a burrito and a soy milk.
Lunch leftover beef roast chopped with barbeque sauce and reduced fat provolone cheese sandwich with a muffin and baby carrots. Water.
Supper. bow tie pasta with leftover chopped beef spaghetti sauce (yes the beef roast is finally gone LOL). Broiled asparagus and <ahem> 3 pieces of homemade bread with real butter. (they were regular slices I'd say).
Oh and a scoop of applesauce. I was sssstarving by supper. I think though the fiber from the asparagus and applesauce will help.

I still think it's a success though overall.
I hope your headache is long gone. Those are so miserable and it seems like it makes your whole body ache too!
Talk later, sorry so whiney!

[FarmerHal]

This morning seems to be going well. Last night I ended up having an apple with cheddar slices. It definitely helped with the overnight hunger and weird food/binge dreams.

A playgroup friend is going to come over this morning so I'm sure Noah will have some fun.

Can I just say... I would LOVE to have ONE FREAKING MEAL by MYSELF?!!!!? I'm sure you get what I mean.
Oh and to be able to eat it all w/out having to get up and rescue someone, get them more milk or ketchup or help with the potty?? LOL



Talk later

[Jaxhil]

Man, *everything* you said, I'm nodding my head, saying, yes, yes, I feel the SAME WAY!!!!!

As for how I do it, well, I'm a crazy woman LOL-I don't mean to be but I know I am sometimes, more often than I should! And, after you have two, the chaos doesn't really increase too much with additional tootsies running around. Or maybe you just get used to it

And I am still dealing with the geez, what's it like to have a HOT meal-or get to eat it all myself without a little body snuggling up so close saying "bite?" or as my Gracie says, "up?" which means "bite" (in Gracie language, LOL). Sometimes she gets so close I think she'd crawl on the plate if she could

I love the compound interest comparison-that's exactly what I've been thinking, because it so helps me not get too discouraged. Everyone says this is a slow road, and that stinks, but it also means (God-willing!) there'll be no going back.

Whip that self esteem with a stick! You CAN (CAN, CAN, CAN!!!!) do this!! And you ARE doing great!! Pat yourself on the back-you deserve it!! I couldn't have come this far without you Tiffani! I would have cheated-I know it. Think about how much you have helped me-I literally wouldn't still be here without you. So don't you dare give up-I know you won't You are on your FOURTH round of 21 days!! How great is THAT?? It is going to take at least a year, I think to get to where the no snacking thing and other no-es's are really solid. Til then we are going to weaken from time to time. And maybe longer, I don't know. But we CAN do this. Every single instance that we don't give in, makes us just that much stronger.

Keep on keepin' on! Btw, today's my Mom's b-day, so I will be taking a mini-s-day; I made Mom some black bottom cupcakes(from Joy of Cooking). They were my favorite when I was a kid Isn't it sweet of me to make my Mom *my* favorite cupcakes for her birthday? How bad is THAT?!! LOL-she loves them too, though, Honest !! (see my halo?) lol.

I will check in again soon with a damage report. Have a GREAT DAY! It'll help so much to let them play outside-btw, thats a great way to get through the "i'm going crazies" take them outside if AT ALL possible. They'll be fine, and it'll help blow off some steam-when they come in they'll be MUCH calmer. The voice of experience

Btw, I love to make bread in my Kitchen Aid (or bread machine)too! Have you tried King Arthur's White Whole Wheat flour? AWESOME stuff!! Makes great bread!! You get all the fiber, but it tastes way better. No one will know it's whole wheat! I add a couple tblsp or so of vital wheat gluten to each loaf, and that helps make it tender, rise more and less crumbly. It tastes a million times better than traditional whole wheat, imo. Make sure you use KA brand, not Hodgkins (?) Mills. Their's isn't nearly as good. If you want, later I can post my tried n true Buttermilk Whole wheat bread recipe (makes a large loaf) and the best hamburger bun recipe I've ever had, gotten off another board.

I've written a novel-sorry!

[FarmerHal]

Happy Birthday to your mom The cupcakes sound devine!! I shall have to have the recipe of course and also for hte bread

Today going well. I don't think I"m actually hungry but I feel snacky right now, which is why I came online to post lol.
B'fast was kindof leftover hodgepodge, easter egg, banana, muffin, homemade bread.
Lunch was sandwich, crackers, carrots, juice.

I think I'll make some coffee now.
Supper... not sure what that will be. DH won't be home till late so it's just me and the kiddos.

Thanks for the pep talk. Sometimes I just get so down about myself and food and weight. But man, what I'd give to get to 200.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get the 30 mins in today. Might have to wait till dh gets home, if it's not too late. Once 7:30-8pm rolls around Evoli is a major clinger nurser.
I know this is only temporary (baby stage) and I don't want to rush it but at the same time, I can't wait to have some freedom.
Talk later
Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

I think Mom did have a good birthday-I made her a knitting bag (she loves to knit!) that my Dad (a wood worker) made wooden handles for. It came out nice! And the cupcakes were good too-of course, lol.

How's your day going so far? I haven't eaten yet, I think I'll have an egg sandwich and yogurt for breakfast. Maybe bean and cheese quesadillas for lunch, and oven "fried" chick w/ mashed potatoes and veggies for supper. We'll see-I tend to change my mind a lot

Don't feel bad about missing any exercise-I have missed the last few days myself. I need to get back to it, I was doing so well I don't want to break that habit. I really should get on first thing in the morning so I can get it over with before I'm awake enough to absorb what's going on, LOL.

I gave Gracie a haircut last night-she HATES when I mess with her hair, so I washed her hair and when she was playing in the tub I just pulled her hair to the back and wacked it off. She has a cute little bob now and it took all of three seconds Daddy helped me so I made sure she wouldn't get hurt. I've been agonizing for weeks on how to cut her hair, because even when I just trim the bangs, its horrible. Like trying to trim hair on a pile of wriggling snakes, yikes! So its a relief to get that over with.

Talk to ya later-I need to get breakfast. I should be able to post more often today, as I don't have to go anywhere too far for once!

[FarmerHal]

G'morning. Hope your evening went well. Mine went well. I had chick fil a for supper since dh was gone till late.
I had to get up in the middle of the night (2:30) and get a glass of soy milk. I was starving and I couldn't sleep. It was to the point where it was nauseas acid reflux hungry. Ugh.

DD had a terrible night. Well she's had about 3 terrible nights. She wants to stay latche don all night and I just can't take much of that. I had dh take her and rock her for about an hour so I could get some sleep. I dunno if it's teeth or what but she's been a miserly sort lately.

B'fast was pancakes with preserves, and a HB egg and now having some decaf.

I did get my exercise in yesterday, 40 minute walk. ALthough mostly I'll admit that I took the kids out in the cold and wind to work some crazy energy off Noah. He has been so wild and out of control. Ugh.
That's about it for this morning... how were the cupcakes :drool:
Tiff

[FarmerHal]

Ack! We have to hog tie Noah to cut his hair. We have him in the tub but sometimes dh has to hold him wrapped in a towel so he keeps his hand out of the way of the scissors (I do a layered boys cut).
Kids are goofy sometimes aren't they LOL

[Jaxhil]

LOL!

I cut my boys' hair too, and Noah (who's 6) is just now getting to where he can sit reasonably still through the duration, hehehe. I gave all of the boys haircuts last Saturday. That's over for another couple months, lol.

And I colored my hair last night. I started going gray very early and now I have a lot -WAHH! I hate coloring but I hate not coloring worse

I had a big breakfast. Egg and bacon on wheat, yogurt and (this is bad!) a few fritos (I was SOOO hungry!!)

And yes, the cupcakes were GOOOOOD. LOL

[FarmerHal]

Your b'fast sounds good, especially w/the fritos Lol

Good day today. I was having som anxiety/boredom issues and wanted to eat but I did not. I got through the cravings by making dog food of all things lol.

Supper was chicken teriyaki stir fry. Good stuff. and a frozen fruit bar (strawberry).

I am hungry now so I might have something, at least a soy milk to get me through the night...

are you having this problem? I go to bed hungry adn then dream about eating. My last dream was about eating a whole bunch of twix's (which I dont' love all that much) and then saying to Jess that I was just going to have to tell you I failed that day. I had a cake dream also. I hope I don't turn into one of those sleepwalking eaters lol.

Ok, I've got to Rescue Evoli.
Talk soon
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

LOL-when I was nursing, YES I did get up in the night to eat sometimes!! I mean my growling stomach would have awakened the whole neighborhood! Seems like it did wake up DH now and then. Hehehe. I had forgotten about that, I haven't had that problem in a while!

Lunch was a sandwich and pretzels, and supper was oven roasted chicken and fried okra and potatoes-homemade, not deep fried Even my DD ate some- She's picky picky picky-hmm, i wonder where she gets that?

Ok teriyaki stir fry-how do you make that? I love teriyaki chicken and I STINK at making chinese food-so if you have a good recipe, will you share? I understand if its too much trouble-I will get you those recipes I mentioned, but it will have to wait till Daddy is on Duty, kwim? LOL.

see ya in the morning! (hey no sleepwalking, okay? )

[FarmerHal]

The teriyaki stiry fry is in a bag in the frozen section at the grocery store
But I do buy extra teriyaki sauce in the asian food section adn I like to douse with that as well. Nothing fancy or difficult.

Mmmm oven roasted chicken. That sounds really good! Might have to make some.

Here it is only 9:20 and I'm hooongry and have to wait till lunch. I had a big bowl of meusli even with banana since I woke up once with leg cramps (ouch!) last night. Ev slept better but today she's a grumpy bear and is screaming since how dare I put her down for a moment lol.

I will probably wear her in her sling all day again.

Ok, I'll talk to you later, ahve a great N day!!

[Jaxhil]

I am so sorry I have been offline a lot today-I took the kids to the park and brought my mom with us. She hurt her leg a couple wks back and has a bad case of cabin fever.

I used a sling for Gracie too-she loved it! I tried with the others but I am short and couldn't find a sling that worked for me. With Grace I got a pouch style and that worked for awhile (she was very very tiny!) and when she got bigger I used a Maya Wrap sling-and I LOVED that one! Very comfy. She just recently got too big for that

I had a good day-i don't remember what I had for b-fast..hmmm... musta been exciting, LOL. Sandwich and fritos for lunch; meatloaf with creole (not spicy tho) sauce from Mom's recipe she concocted from a local restaurant, and salad. I was going to make potatoes but ran out of time so we had tortilla chips. Lame, but it tasted good! LOL.

I have been fighting hunger pangs all week!! I can't wait till Saturday-it feels like it should be here already. The oven roasted chicken is *really* easy (why else would I love it, hehe). Frozen chicken legs(or whatever pieces you like) drizzled in olive oil and sprinkled with season all. Bake uncovered till done, and walla! Yum.

Ah-ha, I will have to look for those teriyaki frozen dinners!! Sounds *very* easy! .

i hope grumpy bear is feeling more cheerful tomorrow! And that you get a great nights' sleep-see ya in the morning! Only one more day!! Yah!!

[Jaxhil]

hey, where are ya?

I'm proud, I've already gotten in 55 min on the treadmill (maybe they should call it the *dread* mill? rofl (bad joke, oh well ) Mostly walking, but some jogging too.

Breakfast was bacon/egg on homemade wheat hamburger bun, and blueberry yogurt.

I really can't wait till tomorrow! Actually I really can't wait till upcoming s-days don't get me so excited sigh. I can only imagine.

talk to you soon!

[Jaxhil]

I hear crickets

LOL-I miss ya! Hope everything's okay.

I'm muddling through, I would love a snack, but I haven't cheated. Sigh. I hafta find something to do before I do! I am kidding (mostly!) I am sure I won't give in. But tomorrow I'll be parked in front of my refrigerator Kidding! I'm pms'ing and I could really use some CHOCOLATE (sounds of cookie monster attack, crumbs flying) ..unfortunately I have no chocolate cookies to indulge my fantasy in, hehehe. Or *fortunately* I guess!

Ok I am bored. Gotta find something to do-can you tell the toddler person is napping? Not for long I'm sure!

If I don't hear from you soon, have a good weekend!

[Jaxhil]

I'm doing okay but lonely

I hope you're ok, Tiffani. I will keep checking in.

[FarmerHal]

I am SO SOrry!! My stoopid computer has not been cooperating with me and it's been freezing up since Friday. All day Sat. I tried to get it working and then today we were out of town (went to D.C.).

I'm sorry if I let you down in your moments of snackiness I thought about you several times over the last couple of days and hoped things were going well for you.

Today I turned 30. Bleh. It was a fun day but still 30. Makes me think of my mortality. And how I wish I had met this weight goal by now. I spent 10 years gaining weight, I guess I shouldn't expect it to come off in only a few months, right?

You'd be so proud. I wasn't one bit an idiot this weekend. I didn't even snack! I just didn't want to! My meals held me till the next one and I did fine.

Saturday I had my S was some of my 'famous' snicker salad (6 cubed snickers bars, 3 cubed granny apples, a 12 oz tub of cool whip and a large package of instant vanilla pudding (just the powder mix, don't actually make the pudding) then add 1 cup milk and mix all together and prepare to drool.
I only had one scoop= a big one but one scoop and I had had enough.

Today was a piece of pecan pie, and since we spent the day driving, to the zoo walking, then driving and walking some more in DC and driving, I ate 3 pretty light meals and of course the pie. It was good. It was more like 2 pieces (here we go w/the supersizing!!)

I was thinking on the way home- noS has become such a part of the new me, has changed my life so much (well your support has been 90% of the change!!) I should ask Reinhard if he'll make the circle stickers to slap on our cars?

Well I hope your weekend was good. So sorry for my absence!! If this goofy thing decides to not work this week... wednesday i'll be out of town, and this weekend Jess is going to reformat the computer since there is soemthign really bogging it down and freezing it up. Pages that used to take mere seconds to load now take 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!

Ok,
Here we go another week

[Jaxhil]

whew!

I'm just glad you're back! I figured it was something like that-I didn't want to contemplate that maybe you had *quit*! ACK! I didn't think so

Btw-HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! You're still a baby-wait till you hit FORTY -that *really* sucks! LOL.

Our computer crashed this past Friday too-Jack had to put in a new hard drive and redo the whole thing. He's fast, thankfully. And he had just wiped the system and re-installed everything the week before! If it was up to me it'd never get fixed, lol.

Gracie had a pretty high fever off and on over the weekend; she seems a bit better today, not so hot at least.

It sounds like you had a great weekend! And I'm glad to hear you're getting the hang of weekends too. I think that has a lot to do with why I haven't lost anything that shows on the stupid scales I am quite sure I *was* an idiot this weekend. Several sodas, homemade cinnabon coffee cake and homemade french beignets; a smallish bowl of ice cream last night. Sigh. I feel like I'll never stop being an idiot on weekends.

I am really a bit bummed today. I am wondering if this will ever show any signs of working. At ALL. My pms may be getting to me-I tend to be very moody at that time. I just wish I could take back all the eating to squelch emotional pain I did in my twenties and thirties. I have gotten much better and I don't do that anymore, but I'm paying the price, nonetheless. I want to feel good again-not once in a great while, but all the time. I used to have that, seemingly boundless energy, but now its a faint memory. Naturally, that was before I had kids! Not that it's their fault, I'm the one who didn't take care of myself. I don't even have the energy to even do basic things.

You're right, Mondays suck, lol.

I am sorry, I don't want to be a wet blanket-the weather is nasty and I'm in a foul mood, but I am SOOOOO glad you're still here! I was really worried, LOL. I thought maybe you had computer problems, but then my moodiness was getting to me.

well, gracies stomping her little size eight feet at me-I better go! I still need to eat breakfast and run a couple errands-I'll talk to ya later!

[cvmom]

Hey Tiffani!!!!

Happy 30th!!! You are young, don't worry. It just feels weird to slip into another decade, doesn't it?

Keep up the great job you are doing No-Essing.

Dru

[FarmerHal]

Thanks Dru!! It is definitely weird to be in a different decade! I'm having trouble adjusting lol.


Hilary- I could never leave you babe! You and noS have changed my life SO much for the better, I don't even want to go back.

I hear you about the weight just hanging there. Made the mistake of weighing myself even though I know better (our new noS rule about weighing on mondays) but anyway, it went UP even though I ate less than I typically do during the week, plus I schlepped up and down the hills at the zoo pushing a stroller with kids and it weighing in over 60lbs from 11am to 4pm and I STILL gained. SUCKS.

I want to be freed from this weight so bad. I think I am just not working hard enough for one, and like you've said before, it took years to get it ON, it might take a while to get it off.

We maybe should exchange phone numbers in case we get discombobulated again. I won't ever quit> I won't go back to that unhappiness and misery of nonstop eating. (at least I hope so!) Plus noS seems to be getting somewhat easier for me.

I'm sure I'll be an idiot next weekend... this was the first weekend in how long that I wasn't? And PLUS, it seemed to make a HUGE difference that I didn't start the day on sugar overload. If I do that then I am for sure an idiot the rest of the S day. I made sure to have an egg burrito on Sat and 2 hard cooked eggs plus a bagel and cream cheese on sunday for b'fasts.

Ok, Noah wants to go outside and play,
I'll talk soon.

Teh computer is actually letting me get some work done today! Yay! (shhhh it might hear me and decide to stop working again!!)

Tiff

[Jaxhil]

How'd your day go? Mine was good-breakfast was 2 extra thin slices of pepperoni pizza leftover from last night's supper; lunch was 2 hot dogs (I know BAAAAAAD!!)(at least the buns had fiber ); supper is homemade chicken and black bean tacos-they are oh - so good, and *easy* (my favorite part, lol). I got the recipe in my Cheap Fast Good cookbook. It definitely lives up to it's name.

I am going to make myself get on that treadmill tonight-I really want to start seeing some results!!

I wouldn't mind exchanging phone numbers if you want-through email? Let me know if you still want to! It'd be great to talk on the phone if we have more computer troubles! I am sure glad Jack can fix them, LOL.

Well, I just wanted to touch base and see how you're doing! I am going to finish my supper, and then get the munchkins ready for bed. Have a good night!

[FarmerHal]

Sounds good. I think we can do PM's here? I can PM you my email and then send my phone number, that will probably be pretty secure.

Did good today.Had a yoga class tonight (beginners) and it was so refreshing. Not too terribly hard and I felt so stretched out, relaxed, balanced afterward. I love love yoga

Supper was delish. Jess stirfryed me some fresh brocolli, pea pods, celery, mushrooms, cashews and chicken. I had some homemade bread w/butter. I'm still hungry but oh well. I am sick of being so uncomfortable in the fat that has made it's unwelcome domain on my body. Bleh.

Lunch was a sandwich with crackers and avocado. Yummy. And a soy milk.
B'fast was a bowl of meusli and a banana.

My portions are really down (except I allow myself to completely pig out on veggies). I am hoping this starts to make a difference.
I want to try to ignore the hunger even more than I already am.
I want results!!! I will try to get in my exercise every day. I know, as the kids get a bit older and Ev will pay attention to a movie, etc. then I can devote more time to exercise and I am betting that will be the difference.

Ok, off to pm you as I think Ev is going to deconstruct if I don't get back to holding her LOL

[Jaxhil]

I just posted a huge reply and my computer ate it

And I gotta get back to the kids. WAAHHH.

So i will try again later. SIgh. STUPID POS comp.

[Jaxhil]

Hmmmm...more computer problems? I hope not! I am having PHONE problems. My Mom calls everyday, and everyday my line disconnects her. Usually more than once! It's a long irritating story-suffice to say I can't wait to switch phone companies. When I figure out my cell# I''ll send it to ya; LOL, I never call myself and I hardly ever give it out, hehe.

anyway..no essing pretty good today but I am reallly reallllly REALLY tired. I got very little sleep last night.

I'm gonna go nap now. hope you're having a good day!! I miss you. Again.

[FarmerHal]

So sorry I didn't post yesterday. We went to DC to see Jess's dad and didn't end up getting in until 10pm. Bleh. And then of course today we went back up and spent the day sightseeing in DC with him again. I think we walked something like 6 or 7 miles!!!!!!! My feet are tired.

I did have a successful N day, a bit fatty (mcd's for lunch and a hot dog vendor for supper) but no S's.

I am POOPED!!

Evoli did pretty well. She was very content to hang out in her stroller much of the time, I was surprised. Noah had a great time walking and we rode the subway train- he was grinning ear to ear. My first subway ride too.
Boy was I happy to see the subway train toward the end of all our sightseeing.

I did have some moments and I was cryign my heart out inside. First, the images of myself in all the glass in the city. Oh man. I didn't realize I had gotten so wide from all the angles. My butt is BIG. the "cheeks" go nearly half way up my back. I have a belly flop in front, I have a unichin-neck.
I look awful.
Then we were walking past the washington monument and for whatever reason there were groups and groups of teens on tours. One girl made direct eyecontact with me and said to her friends plenty loud enough for me to hear "OHMIGAWD> SHE IS SO FAT!" <giggle giggle>

Instantly I was sent back to childhood and teenhood. I felt like a nothing, worthless, ugly. How did I not see that I was getting So Big?

As terrible as all this sounds, Jess saw that I was having a moment and asked what happend (he didn't hear- I was lagging behind). He reassured me that I am lovely and I perked up after that.

Anyway, that was the day. Noah was out within moments of setting him on the sofa. Evoli is gleefully playing with her toys on the floor.

Hope you had a great N day, see you tomorrow.

[Jaxhil]

Oh my Tiffani, that's awful!!! I am proud of your hubby for his perfect response. That's what my hubby would say too, and after all, his opinion COUNTS the skinny little teenage know-it-all knows NOTHING!!!! She's RUDE and thats a worse trait than a bit of chub. Thats a HEART and SOUL problem, not just physical-much harder to fix!

I remember things similar happening to me. I feel like a fat blob too-and I honestly think I DO have the world's biggest butt. Yuck. It is getting better, Tiffani, don't let the reflections get to you. We are changing-albeit SLOWLY-but thats the only kind of change that sticks. So it's well worth it!!

I have been SICK for the last 24 hours-I'm feeling better now, at least a bit. Grace had a high fever Monday/tuesday; then Noah was sick-fever, sore throat, and vomiting (ugh, poor baby) then yesterday afternoon it hit me HARD. A HORRIBLE sore throat, achey and a fever off and on. I haven't had a sore throat in *years*. Bot did it hurt! But I feel much better now-still dragging a bit, but at least my throat feels better.

My Mom has to have out-patient surgery on her knee in a couple of weeks It's supposed to be fairly minor, with about a week's recovery time needed; however they may have to do a bit more complicated surgery, they're not sure. That could take up to 6 weeks recovery time including physical therapy and all. I hope its not the major!!

gotta go, kids are making LOTS of racket talk later!

[FarmerHal]

Sorry to hear you all got "the yuck" (as I lovingly call illness). I hope you're on the mend soon.

I am hoping along with you that your mom's surgery and recovery are minor and quick and easy. My mom has had several surgeries due to joint degeneration and spinal issues. Not much can keep her down though, she's a tiny, busy little thing.

Had a good N day. Looking forward to having one more N day and Saturday I'm making me some cake!! (the birthday cake for myself that I didn't get to make!)

B'fast was hot multigrain cereal with honey and milk, coffee and an eggo waffle with peanut butter for the protein. (we need groceries!! we're out of my usuals).
Lunch was noodles with meat/marinara. And a fresh grating of parmesian cheese. That was very good cheese btw.
Supper was eclectic freezer cleanout lol. Banquet boxed chicken in the oven, fries (yes pan fried), green bean medley with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a milk.

I'm hungry but I may have an apple or something later. Ev's been nursing a lot at night.

Ok, phone's ringing,
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Hi Tiff!

Well I got the unusual urge to get on the scale this morning. I have *no* idea why, but I wasn't awake enough to argue with myself, so I got on. And to my *utter* amazement, I've lost about THREE pounds. hooray!! I know for the eight weeks I've been doing this it ain't much. But its under 170 lbs!!!!! I haven't seen that for YEARS!! Literally. So I am, needless to say, THRILLED. Now, granted, it's barely under 170. Really-*barely*. But I'll take it

It's enough to keep me going, LOL.

Now if my EYES could see more progress, I will REALLY be thrilled!

Anyway, its Friday!! TGIF!! And I feel a bit better today. Stuffed up still, sinus headache still, but better overall. Today's grocery day. Blah. And my fridge looks stuffed, i don't know why. They're can't be that much in there. I hate cleaning out the fridge, but unfortunately I need to make room.

I am doing laundry already too. It's only 6:18 am and I am so NOT a morning person. I am gonna try and get on the treadmill too before long.

I'm tired just thinking about today, lol.

I will check in later-have done well so far, but I've only been outta bed for twenty minutes

[Jaxhil]

oh, what kind of cake are you making?

[FarmerHal]

It's a marble cake (box) with creme cheese frosting and thos happy birthday sugar letters.
I've been craving cake since last week. That pecan pie did nothing for me.

Wow, you're up early! Although we were up at 7am this morning, pretty much our usual time.

CONGRATS on the 3 lbs!!! The scale moved for me finally too. This morning I am 233.0 lbs. That's still a LOT but I will keep on keeping on. Each N day really adds up (or subtracts down? lol). It's going to be completely worth it.

Yesterday I was a bowl full of energy and I don't know why! I woke up, did a ton of dishes, started laundry. Then I decided to pick up toys upstairs, vacuum/mop and clean off the pile on the table. Then I started downstairs. I took out all the trash, took a trip to the dump (can you believe there is no county trash service here?!) ran through the car wash. Then came home fully intending to only clean out the van (since Ev was still asleep in the car seat) I decided to mow the front lawn (1/4 acre) instead. Once that was done, Ev had woke. So I put her in teh wagon while I cleaned out the van. Noah wanted a wagon ride so I took a short walk up and down the street (probably 1/4 mile) and decided to go to the back yard to play. While there I decided to mow there also and put Ev in the stroller wiht cheerios and a water sippy. I thought I'd mow until she became unhappy and hten let Jess deal with the rest of that (another 1/4 acre). But I ended up doing the whole lawn since Noah was busy entertaining Evoli. He has really taken a liking to her lately!

I was pooped! again! I wish I had a pedometer, I wonder how many steps it is with a push mower back and forth and back and forth all over the lawn? lol.

As a bonus, to my surprise, Noah has decided (yesterday) that he is pee trained during the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He woke up and said "I keep these pants dry, Mommy." and he sure did! Today, same thing. He did have 2 poop accidents but I suspect that will come soon. And here I was stressing about it and when I backed off he took the lead!

Well just a looong note there for you. Today's b'fast was weird because I still didn't go get groceries. I had a bunch of mini pancakes LOL.

Talk later!
Tiff

[FarmerHal]

Aaaaaand we have a POOP in the POTTY!!!
It's going to be a GOOD n day lol.

I'm goofy.

Talk later!
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

whew! I nearly passed out just READING everything you did yesterday! LOL. But that's good-you can rest today (ha-well maybe a *little* anyway )

yum, I love marble cake!!

YAH for NOAH!!! And for Mommy too I can't wait till Gracie gets it, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of diapers (12 years of almost continual diapering will do that to a person!) She does, somewhat, but she still doesn't get the fact that she needs to tell me she has to go*before* the fact. Sigh. Oh well.

Well I cleaned out my fridge, finally. And started a couple loads of laundry. Wrote my grocery list, pretty much. I had scrambled eggs and homemade toast with jelly(I hardly ever have jelly, it was good!). Now I have to get up the energy to get the kids in the car and go with all four of them. That's the hardest part, lol.

I am so glad its Friday!

[FarmerHal]

Blerrrrgh! I am so glad Friday is almost over. I've been fighting with a terrible mean appetite and it's been a struggle (not that I have much to snack on in the house lol).
Tomorrow... Cake. For Breakfast.

I may take a bf'ing snack since dd has been a boobaholic last few days.

Hope your day went well.
Talk soon
Tiff

[FarmerHal]

Well, I didn't have cake for breakfast, I had more mini pancakes and 2 scrambled eggs.

I also weighed myself and I'm down to 230.5 Yay!
cake for lunch

Doing ok? Hope your computer isn't giving you fits. Mine seems to be working ok currently.

Talk soon
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Hooray Tiffani!!!!! That's great, down to 230?! Awesome-i am hangin in there. Still got the YUCKS lol. My sore throat has progressed to a sinus infection, so I've had a MEAN headache the last few days; plus runny nose and dripping sinuses that goes with it. Then just for fun I got a tummyache last night. Not fair, I tell you!! Anyway today overall I feel better-no tummy ache and the headache is subsiding.

I still need to eat breakfast. I want to take it easy on my S's this weekend, so maybe this weight loss will happen a wee bit faster!!

I am going to have some sourdough cinnamon rolls later though. When I finish making them

screamin me-mees are at it, i gotta run!

[Jaxhil]

I just had to tell you, the sour dough cinnamon rolls just got done and we tried them and OHMYGOODNESS!!! YUMMMMM!!!

lol...I only had 2 so far-I have to give some away so I don't go crazy!

I love homemade goodies-they take a long time but they're soooo worth it.

Have a great day, Tiffani!

[FarmerHal]

Homemade goodies are the best.

I made a marble cake (layer round cake) today and had 2 slices but darn it, yum=o.

Otherwise my meals were great and Idid sneak in some doritos.

Talk later, Ev's crying
tiff

[FarmerHal]

YEsterday I turned into a cake eating idiot and now this mornign I'm paying for it. Bleh. My stomach is WAY angry. I've not heard this much noise and discomfort from it in a long time.

Today I'm going to go easy and no cake.

HOw's your weekend?

[Jaxhil]

Hi!

My weekend's going well. I didn't overeat MOST of the day yesterday, and had a WONDERFUL meal out alone with hubby at this delicious Mexican restaurant I've been wanting to try. The service was not great but the food was Plus kids were with Grandma-yeee-haw!! LOL.

I ate four sourdough cinamon rolls yesterday (spread out) but not much else. They were made with nuts and part whole wheat so not a total loss nutritionally; and actually cinnamon rolls (depending on the recipe) don't have all *that* much sugar...lol...am I rationalizing? Hehe.

Today's pretty good too. Haven't figured out supper yet, though. I want to make some popcorn tonight, I love popcorn (homemade, REAL butter ) and I am looking forward to it.

Talk to ya later-hope you're having a good day, is your tummy better? I am finding I would rather stop eating before I get to full rather than risk that bloat-ugh. I still did it at the restaurant last night, tho

[FarmerHal]

You must have had a busy weekend

I was an idiot also yesterday. I was "hungry" (growly stomach) all day and so I was permasnacking pretty much all day.

Oh well, back to another N day (it's been 20 days, tomorrow's the big day again!)

We STILL have not gotten groceries. Procrastinators. Primarily because we realized we have not been rotating through the stuff in the freezer and much of it has been freezer burned so we've been eating through that.

Now all we have left is some chicken and those stir fry mixes. I figure we can mix that all with rice and noodles and what not and go vegetarian through the week till it's all used up.

Noah's been a major PITA lately with kicking/hitting and being generally a miserly sort to Evoli and the dogs. And us as well. I am not sure what his problem is, he wakes up grumpy and pretty much stays that way.
Alright, I should be getting some laundry done, talk later- hope you're ok!
TIff

[Jaxhil]

Our kids each go through the same thing at times. I find it makes a major difference if I make a point of spending *special* time with that child doing something they love to do. Or getting them outside to play and work off some of that energy! Most times it helps; if not usually they are either tired or not feeling well. Like Mama!

I STILL have the gunk in my head, nose, and throat. Slowly but surely heading for the chest Maybe not-I sure hope not. Yuck! I hate feeling this way, it seems like its hanging on FOREVER. And we've had 2 thunderstorms already today.

I'm hanging in there. When I don't feel good it's much harder to be on habit, I find. On the other hand, my appetite decreases overall, since I'm all stuffy and nothing smells fabulous, LOL.

Wow, another 21 days already? Last Friday I didn't do perfectly but I really have been sick. So I am counting this 21 days as a success.

I did my grocery shopping Saturday. It's getting to be a 2-cart job-UGH!! So many pets, so many kids! Since we go only once every 2 weeks it makes it quite a workout!

Well my head is pounding so I am going to get off the 'puter-talk to ya later!

Oh guess what? I ran into my EX-BOYFRIEND (from like 15 yrs ago!!) last night. Thankfully he's put on weight too I'm so mean, hehehe

[Jaxhil]

I still feel bad, but hanging in there this really stinks. I can't wait to feel better.

[FarmerHal]

Hang in there babe. Hope your cold goes away faaaaaast!:)

Lately Ive been feeling so crappy about myself.

Take for instance yoga class yesterday. The walls are completely mirrored, floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Everywhere.
I cannot believe how I let myself get. I have a fat face, a neck fat roll, my shoulders and arms are fat (this area really makes it uncomfortable to sleep, since the way I snuggle my pillow, my arms roll up onto my neck and compress my neck and makes it hard to breathe), 2 rolls of back fat, a belly roll, a huge gut/abdominal flap, masses of fat at the top/insides of my thighs, saddlebags, fat feet even. It's very depressing and I wish I could step out of this fat suit I'm stuck in.

BUT, noS is working and has helped rewire my body, so to speak. I'm not permasnacking and recently I've cut back my portions w/out the desperate feeling that I might be deprived. I hope the weight will come off a bit faster this way. I do need to work on exercising but I'm so tired from waking frequently all night it's hard to get motivated at all.

Despite all this, I'm positve today will be a great noS day 21!!! What is this? 4/5 in a row? We are a great team!

Talk later, Tiff <----- still needs to get groceries!

[Jaxhil]

I can relate, girl, but REALLY, you have come SOOOOOO far!!!!!!

Plus, your baby isn't even a year old...give yourself a break!! It's HARD to take care of a toddler, a nursing BABY and your husband, and still find time for YOURSELF. Believe me, you HAVE to-otherwise you have nothing to give. I know from experience, trust me.

I was taking a bath last night and I was feeling the same way I have a lovely fat roll from my waist in back down to my thighs and STRETCH MARKS FROM HE%&. I am thoroughly DISGUSTED. My hips and butt are HUMONGOUS and my tummy saggy and reminds me of Jabba the Hut; not QUITE as big, but he definitely comes to mind. I haven't seen my collar bones in years and I am sick of having fat arms. I could see myself in the little round thingie under the bath tub spout thats like a wide angle mirror, tyvMUCH and it was NOT pretty-UGH. Plus I took advantage of my sick days and ate JUNK. I didn't eat as much I feel like overall but my choices were BAD. But I honestly have been sick so I am calling it a success albeit not ideal (sigh).

I am determined to make this time a success. I have tried countless times to make a go of losing this fat and failed each time, usually getting FATTER in the process. NO MORE. I am not quitting, and neither are YOU, right? We CAN do this!! I KNOW it! We will feel so much better!! We will have energy to chase our little ones!! And take care of hubbies and ourselves.

I just got off the treadmill-I did 65 min, mostly walking, but 20 min straight jogging too. I am trying to up my exercise times, because I think maybe for me that's key to getting this off a wee bit quicker. Three pounds in 9 weeks isn't fast enough...don't get me wrong, I'll take it, LOL-but a little faster would be NICE, ya know?


Talk to ya later-I am feeling much better today. Still not 100% but improving, Thank you God

[FarmerHal]

Glad you are feeling better!
I know what you are talking about, that round thing in the tub where you can see your self.

I am NOT quitting, no way, never ever (mark my words!) because I think emotionally I've come a long way. It's as if I've come out of a fog and all this time I let my body get this way and I'm now thinking clearly (about food) yet I am stuck in this fatness that the fog created (if that makes sense).

I know I will be much more motivated to exercise once I get some SLEEP! But I have gotten my walks in this week so far.

Just a short note, Noah wants "rectangles snacks" (graham crackers) lol

Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Yes, what you say makes perfect sense...I am still fighting my way out, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak

I still have trouble with the soda, but the not snacking/no seconds has become second nature, pretty much.

Doing okay so far today. I did have some (not much) soda

See? I am addicted to that stupid stuff. I need to say no sips even I guess (one more S-lol). Sigh.

I am trying to get the house cleaned up and organized-I am the world's worst at that. Well, maybe not quite-but I struggle with it, because I like neat, orderly everything, and, well, ya gotta let that go when you're a sahm of 4 HS kids. I mean really, how much can I expect?? LOL. It's a constant struggle for me not to be irritated by the clutter and stuff out of place. And on top of that I hate housework-and I realize I am far from alone on THAT point

Anyway, at least its not raining today-and my 12yrold, Jake, cleaned out the van for me-Yah!! Even vacuumed!

I am bored...well, actually, I have so much to do I don't know where to start-that kind of bored, hehehe. The kind that makes you want to run away and go shopping-my hubby doesn't get that. Oh well, I am rambling!

Talk to ya later-hope you're having a good day!

[FarmerHal]

Day's good. Got caught up on most of my housework- could sweep upstairs but why not post here first

Eating is going well. I didn't get enough veggies at lunch (none at all) so I'm feeling hungryish but I think I'll make a coffee to get through. Plus I guess I'm anxious because dh won't be home till 7ish. Bleh. I hate it when he's late. The kids seem less restless today, which is nice. We have been playing a lot and I can feel my brain cells shrinking LOL

B'fast was a burrito with egg, sausage and rice. With applesause.
Lunch was leftover ribs with toast and a few crackers and soy milk.
Supper.. not sure what it will be yet.

And, fwiw, I don't think your soda's a terrible bad thing, I still do choc. soy milk every day *but it's my calcium source, so I let it slide.

I'll ttyl, kids want me to play again.

Tiff

[FarmerHal]

So yesterday was good overall. I had a 4th meal of meusli/milk because I was that empty starving by 8pm and I didn't want that to keep me awake. Well it wasn't the hunger that kept me up but Evoli. I don't know what the heck is the issue. We went to bed last night at 10, she nursed to sleep and I put her in the crib, which is set up sidecar to our bed, with the front off. I put her over on her bed and tuck her in and go to sleep (sweet, finally!).

She wakes up, I didn't know the time because if I look at the clock usually I get frustrated. I toss and turn nursing her a few times and I figure it's got to be getting close to 5 or 6 am. Well she won't settle and keeps waking up screeching and crying inconsolably. The time was 1:25am. So like maybe 3 hrs and I've been tossing and turning nursing her I am SO tired. She didn't fall back to sleep until 4am.

I gave her gas drops and motrin and hyland's teething drops. I rocked her. I didn't want to nurse her because it's becomeing a crutch to her and I'm SO tired from tossing back and forth alternating boobs to keep HER asleep while that keeps ME awake.

I'm grumpy. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep.
I tried letting her cry it out and that resulted in a baby who was completely hysterical even though I was right there next to her (this came as "good advice" from a friend here).

I know this will pass and for whatever reason she keeps waking like this night after night but is completely happy and sweet during the day (not much of a napper though).

I adore her but it'll be so nice when she's Noah's age and sleeps through the night. I might feel better, not so zombie like. It's disappointment that leaks through that I have not a care for getting exercise. It's like I want to just get to the next opportunity to sleep. Bleh.

Sorry. I don't want to bring you down, I'm just so tired. Plus I was just MAD that I was hungry enough to take that 4th meal but that's not all that surprising given that she nurses all night long.

And I'm so scared I'll get pregnant again, poor dh is out of luck in that department... I can't put my body through that again and yet another traumatic c/section.

This morning's b'fast was egg/sausage burrito and meusli with raspberries. Pretty yummy. Raspberries have a weird texture. And 2 coffees. With creamer.
Ugh.

HOpe you are feeling better- is your cold almost gone?

Talk soon
A whiney Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

You poor baby! I really do know how you feel, I thought when I was going through the same thing that it would never ever end!! And DH was lonely too it won't hurt him for a little while And maybe you could persuade him it would be of benefit to HIM if HE got up with the baby-you know she doesn't really need to nurse that frequently and is probably just wanting attention. Please forgive me if I am giving advice where it's not wanted-I am only trying to help.

Is it at all possible to let her cry it out in another room? Or could you sleep in another room (get at least 4 hrs straight, that is!) while DH deals with the baby? Believe me, I KNOW how hard that is, but isn't she at least 6 mos? I was thinking you told me that-and I can't remember. Have you been giving her solids yet? I thought you had. Maybe if she has a good meal before bed that would help, if she's not already.

If you can stand it, and again I know its hard try to just let her cry it out..or sleep in bed with you. When I wasn't able to stand it, if I let them sleep with me we both slept better. I don't know how you feel about that, and for some it might be worse!

I really hope I'm not meddling. I just feel so bad for you, and I KNOW how miserable it is for you!! I thought I would NEVER get enough sleep again, and I felt horrible constantly because of it. You need sleep so you can make good milk for her; its much harder to make good rich milk without enough sleep-and *that* could be why she's crying. Maybe because you're tired the milk is not as filling-she's not giving you enough time between nursings to fully refill your supply. It's a catch 22 cycle-it sucks, I know. For her sake and YOURS you need to let her cry for at least a 4 hr cycle of sleep for you. God willing she won't cry that long

Just ignore all previous advice if you don't want it..forgive me again if I am sticking my nose where it doesn't belong (I know it doesn't but as a fellow mother I am very empathetic to your suffering!).

Ok enough..I am doing alright today, so far. And TGIF TGIF TGIF!!!!

If I don't get Gracie potty trained soon I am going to LOSE IT-aaaagh!! She had another "blow out" today-yeeeeee-UCK!!! I really need to buckle down and get it done. She'll be four in August for goodness sake..enough already!!

Well I am feeling better but now the fifth member of the family (Michael 8yrs) has come down with the crud..only Daddy hasn't had it! Ugh. I am still congested, but the headaches are gone for the most part.

Well I have written a book, I guess I should go fold clothes now (fun fun, hehehe). I hope I can get some sewing in today-I'm making a red fleece robe lined with a red silky oriental print, like kimono fabric. Of course its all polyester but it's pretty just the same-and more importantly, practical, LOL.

talk to ya later, Tiff!

[FarmerHal]

You're not meddling. It's always good to hear points of view from others- who knows, something might work. She does sleep in bed with us but lately she's been waking up crying and gassy- I'm not sure what is causing the gassiness if it's something I'm eating or something she's eating. Her nose is runny today so maybe she was comign down with something.

Anyway, Ill stop whining now!!

TGIF for sure!

Today's meals were good. Jess made a chicken stirfry tonight that was delish. I just ate 3 gourmet cooked cheerios from my 3 yr old LOL. Yum.

Noah is doing pretty well with potty training. We used up the last of his diapers, got him overnight pull ups for night time (he was dry night before last!) and pull ups or those padded undies for day time. So far only a few pee and poop accidents. Today and yesterday he pooped on the potty Yahoo!! He's getting it slowly and surely I suppose. Grace will get it eventually.

Well I am being paged by Evoli "waaaaaa!" Youg et the idea.

Tiff

[FarmerHal]

It turns out dd came down with a cold last night. She was very congested and of course the ped doesn't want to give any cold meds, so we did saline spray, suction and baby vicks rub. She was miserable. The last time she got a cold it lasted about 9 days. I'm going to be very tired. She stayed in bed w/us. I had to get up and rock her sitting upright a couple times and I also stood with her in a steamy shower. Poor kiddo.

I did end up having an apple with cheese slices last night. And a glass of soy milk sometime in the wee hours. This hunger is ridiculous. DH says he's been very hungry as well and thinks it's from lack of sleep. I think I've heard that somewhere...

Anyway I'll stop whining!

Despite being hungry, all my N days were good ones. Today's S day treat is going to be brownies YumO!

So how hard is it to homeschool? It's something I fancy doing but I am not sure if I'm the right personality type. Do you start with a preschool curriculum?

Tiff

Oh, Jess is going to reformat the computer. I'm not sure how long that will take- last time he did it, it was days before I got back on. But I'm here enjoying my S days

Talk soon!

[FarmerHal]

So how's your weekend going? Going good here. Going a little crazy on the snacks/desserts but not to the point of being an idiot

Got the computer reformatted and much enjoying it's speediness again

Talk later
Tiffani

[Jaxhil]

Hi! It's Monday...blah!

Hey, I had brownies for my treat this weekend too! I finally made a really good batch from scratch-my previous attempts had me wishing I'd used my old standby box mix from Betty Crocker, lol. This was a new recipe (for me anyway) for Moist Brownies I got from the Fannie Farmer Baking book at the library. I added a cup of chocolate chips, also, though, so that could have been the big difference

I'm sorry to hear Evoli's sick!! Bummer-I hate when little ones especially get colds, its so hard to help them. I know a natural med (they refer to it as a "supplement", LOL) that *really* helps colds and stuffy/runny noses and all. It's kinda pricey, at 11-12$ for 4oz, but I have found it to be very effective at calming the symptoms significantly. It's a syrup called Sambucol (not sure of the exact spelling) and it's made from Black Elderberry. The kids say it tastes pretty good, and I gave it to Noah when he was a little baby with no problems. It was the only thing I found that helped-none of the over the counter meds did SQUAT. It didn't cure him, of course, but it cleared up the symptoms completely while the dose was effective anyway. It might help you all get some sleep, at least!

Homeschooling is hard, for me, in some ways. I am not good at sticking with schedules, so keeping the kids on track is a struggle for me. I am not the world's greatest homeschooling Mom by a LOOOOOONG shot, that's for sure! But I couldn't imagine doing it any other way, honestly!

There are all kinds of ways to do it, depending on your personal style and you're sure to find a method that suits your own family's needs and goals for your children. I would suggest if you're seriously considering it to start researching now. If you are a Christian, pray and ask God to help direct you-He will lead you, you can be sure of that ) You can also go to your local library and see what you can dig up on homeschooling, or of course, there's always the internet! I know lots of people who home school hold sessions at libraries, or churches, where all the parents pitch in and have little mini-classes I guess you could call them, where each parent contributes in some way, either by teaching a subject, such as Roman history, a special science project, or even something totally different, like knitting, pottery, or sewing. I have to admit, we haven't gotten involved in that since we have moved 9 times since Jacob was born (he's only 12!!) I have never managed to get settled into a community long enough to get organized and all. But I think (God willing!!) we will be here for a good long time, so I may try to look into more of that kind of thing for them.

The fun thing is you can take the kids to all kinds of fun outings, so they can get hands on learning more often than in conventional school. There are laws of course, on what subjects *have* to be taught, but once you meet those requirements the choices are limitless as to what you can teach them!! It's very exciting to watch your kids get excited about learning new things, and ENJOY it.

Ok I've babbled enough! Jack has a tummy ache and is home sick today. Will it never end??

I got some new exercise toys this weekend-a weighted jump rope with a DVD (I'm not sure how I'm gonna manage jumping and watching a DVD in my tiny rooms, LOL); a rebook adjustable step that also comes with a DVD; and a hula hoop (yep, laugh it up !! ). I am really excited about the hula hoop hehehe-I think it'll be fun!! I also have some new exercise DVD's coming; Tae bo, and The Firm. I hope I actually use them!

I got my ratty old biked tires pumped up and went for a short ride with the boys this afternoon-that was a fun change of pace from the treadmill-it wasn't very strenuous though.

Well, I'm doing okay today-Gracie just woke up so I have to take care of her. Maybe she can exercise with me. She loves to pick up my 3 lb soft dumbbells and do"squats" with me-ROFLOL-its SOOO cute, hehe.

[FarmerHal]

Funny we both had brownies this weekend. I think next weekend it will be apple cobbler

Homeschooling sounds really rewarding- hard work for sure. I am not sure what I'll do just yet. ALthough Noah starts a preschool program 2x a week. Hopefully if the schools are good and he does well, we will stick with that, we'll see.

Sounds like you got a bunch of exercise goodies. I used to have the tae bo tapes until I totally killed my foot doing it. I sold the dvd's on a rummage sale LOL. I am terrible and keepign up with stuff.
Still no exercise today but I have yoga in less than an hour.

I hate mondays as well. Noah is all grumpy because all weekend long Jess plays w/him and then Monday rolls in and I have to try to keep up with both kids and Noah gets frustrated with that. Ugh.
Plus clingy evoli and I just want to run and hide from both of them LOL, I know you know what I mean! LOL

Well a quick note, I'll ttyl
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

LOL-I used to hide in the bathroom (okay, I still do sometimes ). I would lock the door and within 60 seconds I would hear a little voice through the door, or see tiny fingers, arms, toes and feet sticking in under the door-roflol. Actually my 2 youngest still do that

We have had a very busy day today. I made muffins this morning, and instead of oil I use melted butter to make the batter; I asked my 8yrold (Michael) to hand me the pan w/ the melted butter-he's normally my careful kid-and he yanked it off the stove where it had been cooling and...well you know the rest...I was cleaning melted butter off the stove, oven door, and floor for quite awhile...arrgh!

Then we tried to take a little loaf to my mil's but she wasn't home so we went to the nursery and got a few more plants for the yard. This afternoon we moved rocks to make a border along the walk to our front door, to give a little structure around the various plants I've been planting there. It looks much better, but it got hot, so it's not quite finished. I figure we'll plant tomorrow morning-don't want to shock them by doing it in the heat of the day!

I'm trying to plant native plants (or at least ones that do well in our hot dry climate!) so hopefully they'll live (lol). So far I've got 2 Mexican Oregano, 4 Rosemary plants, some black foot daisies (I bought them at a nursery, then later found a bunch growing wild at the end of my driveway!), lemon and french thyme, and a couple of sages (I think that's what they are!). Today we added a Susan's lantana, two different kinds of lavendar, a pink skullcap (ugly name for a cute little plant!), and one called Blue Daze. I really hope the garden ends up looking good, because I really don't know what I'm doing!

Well I really need to figure out supper (yippee ) I think grilled chicken and salad sounds really good... or maybe chicken ke-bobs, but I don't think I have any peppers, and I must have peppers for that..or a stir fry, yea, that sounds good. I think I might have a stir fry mix in the freezer, just need to add meat Sorry I'm typing while I think!

I will talk to ya later-I hope you're doing well!! I need to seriously exercise today-or I will be in trouble for buying all that stuff

[FarmerHal]

Yesterday went well. I had a lot of hunger by mid day but managed through it with coffee (is that becoming a crutch?). It definitely settles my stomach.

Today going well so far. I had leftover plain apple-pancakes and a fusion drinkable yogurt. It's not very substancial though so I'm already hungry and can't wait for lunch.

Seem to be in a bit of a food rut. I've been so tired I don't even want to cook! evoli is sleeping better, she had a pretty good night last night some day I'll get to sleep a full 8 hrs or more...

How are you doing?
Just a quick note, got Laundry calling me.
Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Good morning! Sorry I didn't check in yesterday-we had a storm last night and we often lose our internet during storms. I was just trying to log in last night when it started-sigh. Anyway, it was a good day-I managed to get in lots of exercise. Almost an hour of tae-bo (which Gracie helped with-I love watching 3yrold's "work-out" LOL) and an hour on the treadmill, mostly walking.

I'm tired already and I just got up. I know how you feel about not being inspired to cook. I made tuna casserole last night with veggies and biscuits. I make horrible biscuits. They taste good, but they don't rise much and I sure wouldn't call them "light OR fluffy" Oh well, they were eaten anyway!

I'm glad Evoli's doing better. We all finally seem to be getting better, too. My parents are coming up for a visit today, so I will talk to ya later-it's time to get the kids up and get this day started.

I'd rather go back to bed

[FarmerHal]

How's your day going with your mom visiting? I had a friend and Noahs' playmate over today. Its' fun but the laundry suffers LOL

Doing good on this N day. Yesterday I did pretty good. Probably wen ta bit overboard on teh bread at supper but I was so hungry and Ev's only been eating breastmilk w/her cold, poor thing.

Anyway b'fast was an egg/bacon/cheese wrap with a minibagel wiht pb&j. YUM. I cold totally eat one of those right now LOL

Lunch was leftover pork chop, apple with cheese slices and 2 breadsticks.

Supper is going to be grilled roast (hope it turns out ok, it's going now) with baked potatoes and ?? some veggie, maybe steamed carrots.

ONE MORE N DAY!! I am really struggling this week but keeping myself otherwise too busy to think about snacking. There is, after all, another load of laundry to fold... how do you do it with 4 kids!? I have 2 little ones and I'm up to my elbows in laundry daily LOL


Ok, enough whining. I* got a walk in yesterday and day before, having a lot of hip pain, so it's slow but I'm movin' at least! I admire you- you have really been dedicated to exercise lately, I'm so proud of you!

The scale dropped to 230.0 today, seems like I'm going to maintain here for a little while. Gosh, it seems like SO MUCh to get to 200 and yet that'sso much too! Ugh. One day at a tiume.

Talk later

Tiff

[FarmerHal]

I weighed myself this mornign just to see where I was at. The scale said.................... 228.0! I don't know if I'll stay there, usually I drop down like that, then gain a few then it levels back down an dI sit there for a few weeks. I did walk every day so far this week, so maybe that's helping. Been trying to overlook all the back pain, so I guess it's helping
Yay.

B'fast today: minibagels, one with pb&j and one wiht butter. We're out of just about everything else lol.

Lunch ?? not sure
Supper?? not sure either.
TGIF!
IS it me or did this week go pretty fast?

Tiff

[Jaxhil]

Hi! Sorry I've been away from the computer a lot the last couple of days.

I had a good visit w/ my Mom and my Dad (she still needs a chauffeur ). My Dad helped Jake finish building the "doghouse" he and his brother started the day before..you should see it, it's sooo ugly it's cute Boys are fun. And Mom was really glad to get out of the house, and see her grandbabies, LOL.

I wish my week had been fast-it's seemed really LOOOONG to me In fact I haven't done well this week. I failed. Several times. I won't go into the gory details but I am ashamed of myself. I almost feel like skipping my sdays because I cheated so much I'm sorry I did it, and wish I could take it back... But I know I can't so I will move ahead and continue trying..no I will DO IT not just try. I think I can't have my soda sips..it leads to trouble. And I need to make myself exercise. I get so much more done when I do, and I'm so much happier...I feel depressed and miserable if I don't I guess because I'm angry at myself for not following through on the things in my life that I feel are most important. And I feel guilty for not setting a good example for my kids, too.

But hearing about your success ( I am SOOOO happy for you!!!!That's GREAT!!!) makes me want to succeed too. I hope you're not too disappointed in me! I am so moody and sometimes it gets the better of me and I feel hopeless some days. Again, that's why I had better make exercise a priority-it really makes a big difference in my attitude. And I need to check in more-at least twice a day. I really enjoy hearing how you're doing, Tiffani-it really helps me stay on track.

I hope you can work out the back pain-are there any special exercises that might help, or stretches? I know it's hard to exercise when you're in pain! I'm proud of you for keeping up the walking anyway (as long as it doesn't make it worse!). I think it probably is helping move the weight loss along for you!

Well it's friday night, kids are finally in bed- oh and laundry? I have a umongous washer and dryer and 3 outta four kids are capable of helping-Jacob can do the whole thing by himself-as long as Mama doesn't get too picky, LOL. We do a L-O-T of laundry. If I want to keep up its at least a load a day, usually 2 smaller loads. Blah

I hope my post didn't bring you down-it helps me to get it off my chest to someone who understands!! I feel better already, and ready to tackle this thing again

{{{{{hugs}}}}} thanks for being there

[FarmerHal]

Your post didn't bring me down.... I am sad for you but then you will get back on the wagon in no time. I am know it's hard when you have visitors and sometimes just life stress is too much. I can't believe that I haven't failed- this week there were a couple times I just about did, but the coffee saves me. I do use creamer though... <shrugs>

I am here for you babe

Just a quick note, about to go to bed..... I am SOOO wound up, got my NEW CAR tonight and I can't wait to go drive it tomorrow.... wooohooooo!!!!!!!!
http://www.toyota.com/byt/pub/media?id=13132235 She's a beauty!!

[Jaxhil]

Awwww, thanks

new car?! you lucky girl, you!!! VERY COOL-let me know how it goes!!

Actually I feel better this morning. I got on the scale, and I've put on less than half a pound-probably not even that. So I am thrilled

I think my habit of not eating beyond satisfied (for the most part!) is helping a lot-and maybe the exercise too.

Just wanted to say g'mornin-and congrats on your new car-have a great S-Day!!

[Jaxhil]

monday...need i say more??

lol-actually it's going pretty well. I've been a good girl (so far!)

I am sleepy; I planted some more in the garden today (flowers, dusty millers, purslane). Sixteen plants to be exact, and I am still not done ACK! I guess I got carried away-those six packs seem so inocuous (I do *not* know how to spell that word!) and you get home and you realize you got yourself in *deep*. Oh well, they sure are pretty. Please God, don't let the wild animals ruin my garden!!

I'm going to lay down and snooze while I have the chance-talk to ya later~

Oh! My MIL asked me if I'd LOST WEIGHT today!!!!! YIPEEEEEE!!!! hehehehe I was very pleased to say the least, lol.