failure

[fatfarmlady]

It seems like I am meant to fail! i have had one emotional spring. It's been one thing after another with my father's health. I am the only one he can count on and his needs come first, then my husband needing my help in the field a lot of the time, to the point where my yard looks like a jungle and the house a real pit. I had success with the No S diet in May where I dropped 8 lbs! then came June and too many celebrations. I even didn't go to some parties to keep on track. Now, I am emotionally eating again. I need to stop that big time. The support I receive from the readers here is what keeps me going. I need to check in more often. we have had so much rain, the mosquitoes are as big as flies! They try eat me alive when i walk or work outside in the yard. They ignore DEET! Found out original Listerine works better! I need to get back on track so I don't end up like my father. It seems everything he has wrong with him, I do too. Except his thinness! I need more vegetables in my diet and to ignore my husband who brings home cookies and ice cream. (the diabetic) my goal is to look like this )( instead of like this ( ). Ha Ha.
best of luck to the rest of you out there.
ffl

[kccc]

You are not meant to fail. I promise. NO one is, ever.


You have just had a "learning experience" about what is hard for you.

Now you get to develop strategies to help.

And all of us here will help you.

Be gentle with yourself. Begin again, and work on those habits until they become ingrained... because it gets SO MUCH EASIER then!

Best wishes.

[blueskighs]

fff,

so good to hear from you!
sorry to hear you had an emotional spring, those can definitely take their toll,
keep hanging in there, you already know it works,

Blueskighs

[CrazyCatLady]

Welcome back, FarmLady! I understand about your father's needs and your husband's needs coming first. I really do. However, if you are not feeling healthy, you will be less able to help anyone else. Please take a deep breath, and think about how good it will be for you and the men (and other people) in your life, if you will take a little bit of time to nourish yourself properly! The Biblical principle to "love your neighbor as yourself" is based on loving (caring for) yourself. It doesn't say "love your neighbor and hate yourself" or "love your neighbor and ignore yourself."

Maybe you can sit down with your hubby and have a talk about the cookies and ice cream. Let him know that you are really struggling to learn these new No S habits, and that you need his help. Ask him to limit the sweets and treats to weekends. If he feels that he cannot, maybe at least he can just have them himself, and not offer any to you.

I have kids at home age 8 to 19, and they have been able to support me in this. "Oh, it's an S day, Mom, you can have some!" The 19 y/o even bought me sugarfree icecream! Later I explained to him that I can eat regular ice cream, I simply need to limit when I have it. But the point is that the way for your husband to show his love is to support you in this effort. Help him to understand that. Let him know that this is not one of those short term fad diets where the whole family suffers and starves because the lady of the house is on a diet. Let him know that this is a lifestyle change for you.

Best of luck to you as you restart No S. Losing 8 pounds initially is GREAT! As BlueSkighs said, hang in there, you already know it works!

[reinhard]

fatfarmlady,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time...

But don't let it get you down. You are not meant to fail, and it's really best not to let yourself talk like that. It's like a negative mantra -- if you say it often enough, it'll become true. I'm not sure how effective positive mantras are, but it's clear as daylight that negative ones like this are profoundly destructive. You clearly can do this -- you have.

Don't worry about celebrations. They happen. Sometimes a lot at once. Worry about getting totally derailed and slipping back into haphazard "emotional eating." Yellow days are OK. Just don't let them be an excuse for red days.

As for your husband, it would be nice if he cooled it with the cookies and ice cream, but the best way to persuade him will be to show how serious you are about this. He thinks this is just a fad you will drop -- so why should he alter his behavior? Show him this is more than a fad. Show him you can do this, even in the teeth of cookies and ice cream, for weeks, months even. It'll be a tough few months, but at the end of them you'll be very strong in habit, and he'll be impressed enough to make concessions. Maybe even impressed enough to imitate your behavior.

Best wishes to you and your family,

Reinhard

[anovelgirl]

I had success with the No S diet in May where I dropped 8 lbs! ffl

Hi farmlady,

I'm a farm lady, too

I just wanted to comment on something - I've just finished reading Richard's book, and something that really struck me was his bit on how we view successes and failures.

To sum it up, he said research has shown that we don't view successes and failures equally. We see the failures - even llittle ones - as huge mountains, but don't fairly view successes the same way. Great successes measure poorly against small failures in our views. How dumb is that???

I just wanted to highlight your part about losing 8 lbs - that's great! I read the rest of your post, but couldn't get past the fact that you'd lost 8 lbs! What an accomplishment! I hope you see it, too - you had some amazing results, and proven that the No S works for you.

Now it's just time to remember the basics:

1) make the decision to get back on track, now. Not tomorrow or the next week or when Dad is feeling better - do it now

2.) be strict with your eating; it'll just help you in the long run. No matter what's happening, you'll have your habit in place which will in turn have your back when the days are tough and temptations loom

3.) Put your healthy defaults in place so you don't have to think on tough days -- think out your default breakfast, lunch and dinner, and have those items ready to go. When you're having an emotional day, fall on defaults, AND have your default activity that doesn't include mindless eating - whatever makes you feel better. An iced tea and a spell on the porch swing. A movie. A phone call to a friend. A bubble bath - whatever you can do when the going gets tough that helps put "you" back together, in the right place.

The book also pointed out that we're likely to fail up to a dozen times before we get it right. So don't be discouraged! This was just a practice run . Real failure comes in giving up - and you're not in any shape to really give up. You're just warming up!