carolejo's daily Check in

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Aug 28, 2005 7:52 am

Had a nice S day yesterday, and there are 2 more to go cos Monday is a Bank Holiday here and I'm off to Chapeltown Carnival. Yay!!

I wanted to give you a brief update from the Boy No-S - He's doing OK, but finding life in a hotel on his own very tough (as you'd expect). He even tells me he's missing doing the washing up!!!
His NoS efforts aren't terrible, but he's not doing very well at sticking to it in the evenings. Mainly this is because there is a long gap between lunch and dinner and when he finally makes it to the bar-restaurant for his evening meal, the first thing they do is dump a basket of bread in front of him! Well, that's just temptation too much for him, as he's a bread-freak at the best of times.

Still, he's been doing a lot of Urban Rangering - 20 minute walk to work each way, every day. That's 40 minutes more than he used to have. Yesterday he thought he would walk from the hotel to Centraal station, only he got a bit lost! After 2 hours of wandering around, he felt quite foot-sore and had to hop onto a tram! Then he got to Hilversum (smaller town a bit south of Amsterdam where we'll probably set up home) and wandered all around there for another 3 hours or so, looking for the houses on the estate agents list.

He says Hi and sends his regards.
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:39 pm

Long time no see!

I've not been doing perfectly, but actually it wasn't too bad either.

Monday was the Carnival which I took as an S day. I had an extra plate of my friend's home made Massala Dhosa at lunchtime. It was super yummy. Other than that, I Nossed perfectly the rest of the day.

Tues I had to get up at 4:30am to take a plane to Paris. Airport breakfast fitted on 1 plate. I had a couple of apples at about 11am cos I was just really hungry by then, but fruit is allowed in my book, so that's not a sin. Lunch was a sandwich at about 2:30pm (I didn't have any means to get any food myself, I had to wait for my colleague to go out and fetch something!!) and a 1 plate room-service dinner in the hotel. (Again, no creme brulee! Actually I think I might allow myself this ONCE on my next business trip, cos I'm never over there on the weekends so I'm feeling a bit 'hard-done-by'

Stupid, isn't it..?!

Weds was textbook NoS brekkie and lunch, but the French team director took our whole team out to a posh restaurant in the evening. I didn't have dessert, but I did eat a starter.

I justified it at the time that it would look and feel really odd if everyone else was eating but I'm sat there with an OJ. That and the fact that it was 9 hours since my sandwich for lunch so I just caved in. Wasn't able to eat less for my main course though - although I really honestly felt very bloaty afterwards, despite the fact that compared to a few months ago it was a pretty modest sized meal!

Today has been pretty good so far. I've not had my dinner yet though. I did 'sin' a little on the plane this afternoon on my way home, in that I had a small serving of shortbread with my cup of tea.

All in all, could be worse. Tomorrow is another day though. I'm pretty sure I'll be very well behaved too. By now, it's the deviations from habit that feel odd, not the NoS system of rules itself. I take this to mean that my habits are becomming pretty well ingrained.

Best regards to all!
C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 10:41 pm

Carolejo:

I think you did tremendously under the circumstances. It is hard enough to travel and then have long gaps between meals. The fact that you were aware of what you were putting in your mouth says that you are conscious and consciousness is one of the biggest parts of this. How can we change if we aren't aware?

I can relate to you regarding the Creme Brulee. It seems like anytime I'm around Coldstone (an ice cream shop here) that it is an N-Day. Oh well, such is life.

Dru

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:52 am

Thanks for your encouragement, Dru!

It's really nice to be back in my 'normal' office again today, and sleeping in my own bed again! (although, in 2 weeks time everything gets turned on it's head again *grin*).

For now, 'normality' seem to be spending half my life waiting around in airports.

This morning - Still no SG.

Breakfast - Scrambled eggs again. I really need to go shopping, but as I currently don't know what timezone I'll be in tomorrow, it seems like I'm forever throwing stuff out too, and I HATE doing that!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 9:58 pm

Today has been tough. Thank god it's an S day anyway. I've come to the conclusion I've been 'sitting on my own ticket' for most of the day. (I mean, I'm stalling without consciously meaning to). There are loads of things I could be doing to prepare for the upcoming move to Amsterdam, but instead I spent most of the day sitting about feeling sorry for myself. That is deeply pathetic!!!

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. At least I'm coming to realise that I'm sabotaging myself. That's the first step whatever.

Right. It's bedtime for me.

Happy S day everyone.
C.

JWL · Post by **JWL** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:25 am

hi carolejo, I'm just now reading your log for the first time in over a week. But I have some thoughts about what time of day to shovelglove.

It took me a while to settle into the 4pm-ish groove that I'm in now. I was literally all over the map; tried in the morning, evening, night, I've actually shugged at 1am before. Don't recommend that...

But the 4pm time is significant for me, because in my reality that represents the "low" point of the day for me, energetically. I was always ready for a nap at that time of day.

But since I've been shugging then, I actually have retrained my body, now I'm full of energy that time of day.

So my recommendation is this: find the time of day when you are consistently low-energy. Do everything you can to start shugging then, just to see what happens.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:56 am

Carolejo!!!!
Stop that blathering about being pathetic..
I mean cut yourself some slack.. Not only are you moving, you are changing countries and everything...
I would have a rough time getting myself to do all that is involved in such a huge move!
Hugs to you!!!! You sound like you need your Steve or some company to get through this, and some reassurance that everything will be okay...
Oh by the way, everytime my son reads your name he forgets you are a woman and pronounces your name as if you were some Spanish guy!
You know "Carl-ey-ho"...
Arriba!!!
So get some stuff done tomorrow if possible...
Moving is tough...
Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 12:09 pm

Hi Everyone,

Freakwitch, thanks for your comments about the timing for SG. I think I'll try for straightaway when I get home in the afternoon. That way it won't impact on anything else I'm trying to do, because my journey home is so traffic-dependant, that I can tell myself that I might not even have gotten home by now anyway, so I'm not missing any time. Plus this is a time when I'm not usually trying to do something else anyway, like eat breakfast or pack up my stuff or anything. It's too early for making dinner or going out anywhere as well.
The period of the day when I feel least energetic is probably about 3pm in the afternoon - I thought briefly about taking the Shovelglove with me into the office so I could do it then, but my colleagues already think I'm a total whack-job at the best of times, so this would probably blow their little minds out to space completely!

Not to mention of course that my office will be changing totally in about 4 weeks' time, so I don't want to start out with the wrong impression, neither do I want to lug the sledgehammer halfway across Amsterdam on the tram!!

Deb, yesterday I truly was being pathetic. Don't worry though. I did cut myself some slack. I know myself well enough to be able to tell when I just need to wallow in it for a while, and when to pull myself back out and re-join society before I totally lose the plot. Today I'm off to the Aqua Aerobics class this afternoon with some mates. This is a nice sociable thing for me, as there are people I met in the class who I don't see anywhere else, but it's nice to see them. I've also put a notice up on my blog for my friends to come and help me sort out my back yard. We had a (scumbag)-builder in to do it, but he was a total crook and it's a complete mess now. Lots of smashing things up to be done with that sledgehammer, so it'll be fun, but hard work. I'm hoping a lot of people will come and help me do it over a couple of days in return for beer and BBQ food. We'll see, anyway. I've billed it as an 'outdoor gym' and a 'garden party with a difference'.

Today I'm feeling much happier. Bizzarely, I haven't wanted to eat anything sweet yet either, despite it being a Sunday. So far today I ate a whole head of romaine lettuce (just bit into it like an apple!) and a carton of cottage cheese with chives in. It was what my body told me it wanted for brunch (Breakfast/lunch), so I just went with the flow.

Happy Sunday everyone. Thanks again for your support and comments. I love reading them.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 12:13 pm

PS - Hi to Richard too!

I quite like the thought of being Carl-e-Ho! It sounds a bit like 'Tally-ho!'

Does this mean I might get some more done if I was more 'tally-ho' than Carole-Jo..?

Oddly, Spanish is a language I tried to learn twice now, but never managed to stick at it. I don't know why. Might be because I've only ever been to Spain once, so I don't have a big enough cultural reason to learn it. Normally languages come quite easily to me though, so this is a strange one.

Hola!
Hasta-luego. (probably spelled wrong as well)
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:14 pm

Car-ley-ho!!! (he puts an accent on the second syllable! Not like Tally ho!)
Of course this name doesn't really exist so we are making the whole thing up including the pronunciation...
I mean Carlo and Jose do exist.. I guess this is like a hybrid!!!

And yes you spelled
"hola" and "hasta luego" perfectly!!!

Have fun at your "garden party with a difference"!!! Yeah the difference is there's no garden once you are all done smashing it up!!!!!
Wow sounds cool!
Careful though.. Using the sledge for real smashing is very tough on the hands and arms... Quite different than SG workouts....
Hope all those mates pull together for your cause!!!
Have a good day Carleho!!!
Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 3:31 pm

however it's said, it's gotta be better than Roly-Jo, which is what my parents used to call me when I was a plump little kid!

Oh, the indignity!!!

If it's easier, I could just be Carole.
The Jo is my middle name, rather than a hyphenated second part to my first name. Somehow it always causes me trouble though, to have 2 names which are entire, but shortened versions of other names. Every time I have any official paperwork to sign, it gets shoved back over the counter with the comment "No nicknames. Please write your full names" scrawled all over it!

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:31 pm

Parents, can't live with them, can't live without them!

(but oy those nicknames they *thought* were cute!!! I have a couple I'd like to get out of my memory!)

Hugs
CJ!

Deb

Carlehjo!!!
Arriba!!!!!!!!!!!!

gj · Post by gj » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:59 pm

Huh? What is Carole short for?

As to the middle name, I never give my middle name when filling out forms. Never had any problems *knockonwood*. Maybe they would not get suspicious if you left out the "Jo"?

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 8:56 pm

Carole is the french spelling of the shortened version of Caroline, or Carolyn. Most often in the UK it's spelled Carol (without the 'e') but that annoys me even more than anything else, cos it's not me without the e on the end!

Jo could of course by Joselyn, Joanne, Joanna, Josephine, Josie.

Both Carole and Jo were former girlfriends of my father

My mother knows this of course and is amused by it, but it doesn't bother her at all.

So there you have it. Today's random fact.

Nothing much to report though here. I ate a nice NoS compliant dinner at a friend's house and turned down the mint chocolate that my friend served in place of desert today. It was after 6pm and that's my little alteration to the rules (Saturday starts at 6pm on Friday, Sunday ends at 6pm).

Well, it's bedtime for me.
Have a nice evening, all you people on the other side of the atlantic!
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:42 pm

So far, today was a success, but for some reason this morning was very tough and I really craved that sugar again...

..but Uh-Uh!! No sugar did pass my lips! I made it to lunchtime and felt a lot better this afternoon again. I'm confident I can now make it to dinnertime OK.

I think my breakfast didn't have enough protein in it again. This seems to be a re-curring thing for me. a snatched bowl of cereal just won't hold the food-demon away long enough.

The Boy 'No-S' has been having alarming time in Amsterdam! He accidentally ended up in the red light district on Saturday afternoon, he got a bit lost on his way back to his room and wasn't expecting it. He says he suddenly looked up and realised he was surrounded by the 'ladies of the night', all scantily clad in golden bikinis. One of them said "hi" and it totally confused him. He opened his mouth, took a breath and then uttered (much louder than he'd intended) "But you've got no clothes on!". Feeling really mortified and embarassed, he then ran away as quickly as possible!

He says all he could think at the time was "but that's not even factually accurate!"

peetie · Post by **peetie** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 4:18 pm

Oh, you've got a good boy there, Carolejo!!!!

Peetie

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:30 pm

Ha ha ha ha haaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
Love,

Deb

*who will never wear a golden bikini no matter how hot I look when I lose loads of pounds!!!
Not even for Steve!!!
LOL..

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:31 pm

Poor Boy No S!!!

I have been lost many times in Amsterdam. It is a very confusing place. It's not just what they smoke. There are lots of small narrow roads that lead to nowhere. (I remember the first time I saw women in the windows. That was just so creepy.)

CarloeJo: sometimes Mondays are a little hard for me too. I almost grabbed a Pop Tart that was sitting on the table just now. There is some weird science in the timing of the S days. Three S days would just be too much for me at this point. So even though we have a Bank Holiday here in the US today I'm sticking with the N.

Take Care,
Dru

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:01 am

Hi Everyone!

Well, I'm feeling very cheerful today. Last night when I got in from work I DID 7 MINUTES OF SHOVELGLOVE!

Wow. I'm feeling like I'm gonna be able to do this.

Yesterday was also textbook NoS eating, despite having a hard time in the morning.

This morning I had boiled eggs for breakfast. I'm trying not to rely on eggs so much and vary the protein I eat for breakfast, but I figured it was the lesser problem, when compared to a crappy bowl of cereal. I think I'm actually going to throw out all the cereal in the house now that Steve has gone already, cos he's the cereal freak whereas I don't even LIKE the stuff!! Why I think it's worth eating I don't know! I know it's quick and easy, but it just won't hold off the hunger till lunch.

I get to see him again in 48 hours time btw. I'm off over there to choose somewhere to live. It's suddenly gone very crazy - Thurs - Tues I'm in Amsterdam (Fri house hunting, Monday sign the paperwork) Tuesday evening I'll be back at 'home' cleaning and sorting like a woman possessed, cos on Wednesday 8:30am my house will be full of removal men packing everything up to ship it to the new place we signed the lease on 2 days before. Talk about cutting it fine!

Oh well. These things take on a momentum all their own. I'll just have to roll with it for now.

Happy Tuesday everyone!
C.

peetie · Post by **peetie** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 2:36 pm

Hi Carolejo.....Just rejoice in the fact you are not counting points, calories or carbs while all this other chaos is going on around you! It's times like yours when we tend to give up on those regimented plans.....there's just no time or energy for it. With NoS, you don't have to do anything but eat like a normal person!

Good luck with it all,

Peetie

Lethaltoenails · Post by **Lethaltoenails** » Wed Sep 07, 2005 1:44 am

Yes, good luck with all the moving going on and let us know where you are when you get there - I haven't been following all of your posts, but I gather you are in a transition, and a big one at that...

I've moved 5 times in 7 years, there's still unpacked boxes in the garage. I hope your move goes well.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Sep 07, 2005 3:30 pm

Thanks everyone for your good wishes!

Well, this might be the last time you get a post from me for about a week, as I'll be running round like crazy and not have reliable internet access.

Don't worry though. I'll be back

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Sep 07, 2005 3:51 pm

Good luck Carolejo!!!!!!!
We eagerly await hearing from you.. Glad to see you had a cheery day the other day!
God Bless you,
Peace and Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 8:47 am

part 1 went OK and we found a gorgeous little appartment in the Watergrafsmeer (South part of Amsterdam City Centre). At least now our stuff has somewhere to move to when they come and pack it up on Wednesday!!

Today I'm working out of our Amsterdam office, parked in the boardroom cos that was the only place with a compatible LAN line for my laptop. We took over another freight company and the system integration isn't quite 'complete' yet. Tomorrow I fly back 'home' to pack up. Phew! It's all very crazy and my feet haven't quite touched the ground yet.

On the NoS front, I'm happy to report that my basic good habits are pulling me through the uncertain times and I haven't gone nuts or broken the rules in any major fashion these last 5 days or so. SG of course it not really an option as I didn't bring my sledgehammer with my handluggage

I can report though that a very great quantity of urban rangering has been going on, walking just about everywhere in sight in an effort to locate all the services near the flat (nearest Supermarket, bike shop, cafe, grocers, tram station, park, etc). I think we've walked an average of 4 hours a day for the past 4 days!

Right. Back to it.
C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 1:02 pm

Hi CJ:

I'm glad you are back and that you guys found a cool apartment.

It's probably a good idea not to bring the sledgehammer on the plane. It could be a security issue.

Nice that the No S habits are helping to keep you sane during the transition.

Dru

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:13 pm

My house is empty! The Boy is currently unpacking all our stuff into the new apartment in Amsterdam, as I sit at my desk in the UK writing this. I'm living out of a suitcase in my sister's spare room for a few weeks though, whilst I get everything finalised in the UK.

On the diet front, I've not been very good really. Although I'm still much better than I used to be pre-NoS, I'm gradually slipping up more and more in little ways. I need to nail this now before I end up undoing all the work I've done on building the correct habits.

The Shovelglove has already gone out to the 'Dam without me, so I don't even have that here anymore. I'll just have to try and range about and fidget a bit more.

So, pledge to myself (and this board makes it public - accountability is everything here!):-

I will stick to No S properly and go back to recording each day in the checkin with success or failure. I'm not trying to gain a record number of days on habit or anything, merely trying to keep this going from day to day during these turbulent and uncertain times!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:31 am

Oooh, S days!!! I think I went a bit overboard actually, but it's not a problem. Even if I go overboard, it's still not as bad as everyday used to be pre NoS!!

Been a bit of a rollercoaster ride recently, in all respects apart from dietary ones. Nice to know that at least *one* aspect of my life is 'under control'

! Sofa-surfing (staying on a sucession of different people's sofas) plays hell with planning, but this eating plan is so straightforward you can stick to it even if you currently have 'no fixed abode'! My little sister actually said to me the other night "hey, are you deliberately spending one night here, followed by a night somewhere else, followed by another night here..?!" The answer is "not really deliberately" but not having a particular place of my own in this country right now frees you up so you can crash out on the most convieniet sofa you can find each night

....The trick is never to stay so long that you outstay your welcome *grin*

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:05 am

Sofa surfing!!! That's classic!!!! LOL...

Yeah, Carolejo, don't add extra hassle to your life now... If you check in every few days, that's fine... No one here, as Reinhard would put it, will excommunicate you!

But I agree, if you don't completely slack away from the "accountability" thing, it actually helps you stay *more on track* even when you are a bit off it... Better than weeks away and then, whammo, you up five pounds or something equally frightening...
You have a topsy turvey life at the moment..
My only general suggestion, is to make sure you eat slowly enough and not running around while you are surfing on couches!
You'll get cramps!

Big Hugs CJ...
Hope the rest of your surfing lands you on your own couch sometime soon!
Peace and Love,

Deb
XOXO!!!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:28 pm

Hey guess what..?

My bathroom scales are currently in another time-zone anyhow! I don't even get to know if I go up or down anyhow

Today I'm having the typical Monday MADNESS and wanting to run off and eat a chocolate bar.

BUT I'm NOT GOING TO. If it gets too much, I can always eat the nectarine I have with me instead (fruit is allowed on my version).

For some reason, Monday is always the hardest time. Even though I've just eaten my lunch (Chicken casserole, left over from dinner last night at my friend Sian's house) I'm still somehow 'snackish'. I know it's nothing to do with hunger though so I can definately beat this.

Oh, also I have a new project at work which I have to start this afternoon and I've been stalling. I suspect the 'go get a cadbury's caramel bar' thing is partly work avoidance too....

C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:07 pm

I find Mondays to be weird too. I think it is because we have to rein the sweet tooth monster in.

"oh yeah....come back into your cage until Saturday"

Don't forget to breath Carole Jo.

Hugs,
Dru

gj · Post by gj » Mon Sep 19, 2005 4:42 pm

Me too! Mondays are hardest.

Though in my case it's more of a seconds-monster than a sweets-monster ...

Carole-Jo, do you really have to do the project? You will shortly be leaving the country after all

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:30 am

Yeah, I have to do this project alright. I'm keeping my job and taking it with me, so that isn't going to change (another piece of conisistency in my life! Yay!)

Last night I didn't do so well with the NoS. I came home and ate 2 lollypops that my little sister had left on the side in the kitchen. Then I ate a quarter of a camanbert cheese!! Oops. that wasn't in the plan.

Oh well. today is another day. Keep on rolling, everyone!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:45 am

My 'before' picture, BTW:-

My, Aren't I a handsome devil!!! *NOT*

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 8:15 am

Yesterday was a SUCCESS. Yay!

I'm getting geared up for some seriously hard work this weekend. I'm holding a garden party to fix the nightmare mess that the rogue builder scumbag left behind when he "allegedly" did my garden for me(!) a few months ago. Lots of digging and bashing and moving heavy things for Saturday and Sunday. I've roped in some mates to give me a hand so I won't be doing anything on my own (I'm not paranoid, this is really a good idea cos I'm so clumsy and I want someone around to call me a crash wagon when I stab myself through the foot with that garden fork!

) Now we'll see if my Shovelglove efforts pay off!

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:49 am

Carolejo!!!!
You make me laugh!!!!!

"Aren't I a handsome devil?" and "Scumbag" gardeners???? It just doesn't get better than that!!! LOL!!!!

No stabbing thineself with the dreaded garden fork!
(Unless you are really really hungry and into that kind of thing!)

I missed you when you were away CJ! And like you told Tonsha, good to see you (well except your face, so now how can we even know it's you!??? Between your plant lady avatar and this one, you could be anybody! I hope this isn't a trick photo!) even if you don't feel it's a
"Handsome devil" photo...

Be patient CJ and diligent! It will come off! I believe in you!
Now go and kick some ass,,,phalt in your garden and have fun with yer mates! Let me know where that contractor is!!! Sounds like a right tosser! LOL... I'll bring my SG and we can hobble him together!~

(But don't call our Tonsha, cuz he has a cream of wheat bag on his shoulder and is waiting for some cream and sugar... Ha ha.....)

Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:23 am

cheers Deb!

There's a picture of my face on page 3 (hey, fancy that!! Me, a page 3 girl!!

)

actually, I don't think you yanks have page 3 girls in your newspapers. Just in case, page 3 in several of our tabloid papers in the UK is taken up with an image of a girl in some kind of daft pose with her undercarriages hanging out (if you know what I mean *grin*) There's usually a really silly caption to go with it. Something like a topless lass wealding a big spade with the caption "Our stunning Sonja digs more than her garden!" or somesuch. It's far too cheesy to be offensive though.

Don't worry about me calling on Tonsha Evad for garden help. It's strictly healthy volunteers only!

C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 1:03 pm

CaroleJo:

I don't know what to say because you are so hilariously funny that I almost spit out my coffee on the keyboard.

Yes girlfriend, you are a Page Three Girl so live with it!!!

Dru

P.S. Our satillite dish was removed while a new roof was put on the house. I was going to hook it up until we move but why bother? With your posts I don't need Comedy Central anymore.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 3:01 pm

I don't know what to say because you are so hilariously funny that I almost spit out my coffee on the keyboard.
Yeah!
What Dru said!
LOL...
Have a nice day both of you!
I will post my page three photo soon!
And why aren't there page three guys??? Not fair!
Ha ha ha!!!!

Love,
Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:22 am

Cheers guys! Somehow it made my day to hear that I'm 'officially funny'!!

Things here are a little rocky right now. My Nan is in hospital. She had some pretty severe stomach cramps and they took her in. As of right now, nobody really knows what's wrong. She's waiting for a scan, but the hospital say it might be a couple of days before they can do it. (This leads me to believe it's a CT or MRI scan they want to do, cos lots of hospitals here don't have that kind of equipment to themselves - there's a mobile unit that does the rounds every few days). This might sound really horrible, but this is all happening 500 miles away from me and right now I'm not able to worry about it, cos there's just too much else going on. It's like my brain has shut off a bit and refused to process any more emotion. I care of course, but it's a theoretical kind of caring, rather than anything visceral. I guess the stress is getting to me a little more than I realised

Oh, I also took an S day yesterday, cos I had a medical appointment myself, which messed with the routine of it all. Today I feel pretty mauled, but you'll just have to trust me when I say that any further details would *definately* fall under the heading TMI(Too Much Information!) I will say that it was just a routine thing and that I'm not at all sick (well, my body isn't, I might be sick of mind though, but that depends on whether you like my particular brand of humour

)

So, today is another day. It's bright and sunny here. Quite uncommonly good weather for the first day of a British Autumn. Something to be cheery about, as Autumn is my favourite season (It's like a big party with all the trees dressed up in their finery - Winter is the 'hangover' after the party, of course

)

Right. Back to work for me. Time and tide waits for no man (or woman).

Have a good day, everyone!
C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:31 pm

Hi CJ!

I'm sorry about your Nan.

I hope she is okay. I know what you mean about having to detatch from the worry. But still, that is tough. I'm sorry.

Fall is my absolute favorite season!!! Just the other morning as I was walking outside very early to get stuff out of the car I could tell Fall was in the air. Some say we don't have seasons in CA. But we do. They are subtle but I knew it was Fall. Both my kids were born in the Fall and my husband and I were married in the Fall. Plus I like the colors.

So I hope you have a great day and don't worry too much.

Right, back to whatever I was doing at 5:30am...oh, making lunches for the kids. Bye.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:37 pm

Hi CJ...
I am very much the same about emotional issues which are pretty much out of my reach to directly be involved in... This happened recently with my ex in New Orleans... I did have a few really really "f*$k'd" up days and then, after feeling so much worry and grief, I thought, "I have to take my attention off this for a while...It's just too much to handle..."
Anyway, God is everywhere, and with your Nan as well...
Our best protector.. I'll send a prayer her way, and yours!!!!
Yes, you are "officially" funny!
Even saying that was funny!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please give yourself a big hug for me and, yeah, please don't tell us all about your "procedure" LOL...
That might be too hard to remove from my visual memory!!! LOL...
My girlfriend recently had her first baby...
She did it at home with a midwife and refused to go to the hospital for any reason.. Told me she had a long labor, the birth wasn't really difficult, just long, and they were dancing and singing the whole time (she's a fairly kooky musician like me! LOL....) isn't that a nice way to be brought into the world...
However, she then, while I was preparing my dinner and talking to me about it on the phone, told me that the placenta wouldn't come out and it took two hours to manually remove it and that, she didn't wish this on anyone ever!
Well, she's known for TMI!!!!
I had a rough time getting my appetite back for dinner again... LOL...

Oh, that was gross wasn't it????

As far as managing your stress Carolejo, don't beat yourself up for the minor S'sing you are experiencing during this time, but really try not to use food as an emotional crutch too much.. That's just dangerous...
Try to eat when you are calm and settled...
Much Love and Peace,

Debbie
xoxoxox!!!!
Thanks for all the laughs... You have made me laugh from the first time I saw your avatar!!!
I hope one day we meet... I think I'll save up some money just to come visit you in Amsterdam one day!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 1:19 pm

Awww. thanks Deb and Dru. You're so sweet.

I'd be totally psyched if you came to visit me! I LOVE getting visitors and having people to stay!! Who knows, but I might well be able to visit you in Great Neck someday. I have a very very good friend (she's also called Deb too - how about that for co-incidence, eh?) who lives near Springfield MA so I could probably take a detour and visit the next time I go out there. Probably not in the next year or so though. There's a little too much going on and not enough pennies for that kind of a trip right now!

I'm feeling a little less 'fragile' now than I was this morning. I bought myself a bottle of Ginger Beer (non-alcoholic, liquid Candy) at lunchtime, but actually managed to resist actually drinking it. I packed it away, out of sight for now. I'll enjoy it on Saturday even more.

Thanks to everyone for your support. It really means a lot to me.
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:13 pm

That would be fine with me lassy!
But it would be about a five hour detour!
Ha ha ha!!!

Oh, ginger beer is very good, if it's the natural kind... There's a really good brand of it, and I can't remember the name right now, but I think it's fruit juice sweetened..
Very yummy!
If you want, you can just take some fresh ginger and shred a teaspoon or so with a cheese grater, then just let it steep in some warm water to make tea... If you don't add some honey though, it can be a bit sharp..
Very good for settling the tum tum...

P&L..Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:52 am

Hi everyone. No news on my Nan yet. No change, for better or worse.

Yesterday was a 'mostly success' with NoS. I did have a very small portion of the bread and butter pudding that my brother-in-law cooked at teatime though, so it wan't picture perfect.

Lots to do today. I've got a full day at work (there's a big project on) and then I need to get everything sorted out in preparation for my 'garden party - outdoor gym' weekend. I guess I'd better stop surfing the 'net, procrastinating and get on with it all then!

Bye 4 Now!
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:53 am

Oh, and a 5 hour detour - no sweat! Sounds like my usual kind of holiday!!!

*grin*

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:03 am

Oops. Just broke the rules. One of the girls in the office is leaving and she bought some PERFECT JAM DOUGHNUTS in with her to share.

So I ate a doughnut. That's definately an S.

....But I'm not going to eat another one, or even one of the chocolate muffins, or some chips and dips or any of the other yummy things. This is a controlled failure. Just one failure, not a whole day.

Back to it. Somehow I can't even work up the energy to be annoyed at myself - there's too much going on right now - but I'm also not going to make excuses either.

C.

MerryKat · Post by **MerryKat** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:50 am

Controlled Failure - I love it.

Seriously I think you are doing very well and one of the big lessons all of us are learning is that you can have a little of something (we don't have to finish everything), so for me while technically you oopsed, I think you are doing great.

Keep up the great job

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:42 am

Thanks Mo. You're totally right of course. The old me would have eaten a second doughnut, 2 chocolate muffins, a large slice of lemon cake AND washed it all down with the fizzy pop sitting next to it.... Oh, and eaten about 15 chocolates for afters.
I only wish I was exaggerating here

It's a wonder that any of my work colleagues ever wanted to associate with me, greedy pig that I was.

...but that's not me anymore. I'm a 'One doughnut woman' now!

Still, it doesn't stop me trying to do better still... but I'm not going to beat myself up too much. Nobody is perfect. I'm not trying for 'perfect', just 'good enough'.

Besides, it's nearly lunchtime now *grin*
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:29 am

A "One donut page three girl!!!" Yeah!!!!!!!
Carolejo,,,
I had a pretty bleh messup yesterday and then it continued into the evening

It's still way better than messups used to be, but it made me feel pretty lame about myself today..
I am proud of you for getting on that horse and not beating yourself up..
You are inspiring me to do the same!
(I think my dreaded "friend" is in a few weeks... usually I get pretty out of kilter during pms...)

I am giving you a big hug
(and partially because I feel I need one too!

)
Well the billing dept at MSN has finally realized that I owe them over three hundred dollars, so they are sending me internet access cutoff notices.. I don't even know how it is that I'm able to type this.. but if you don't hear from me much after this morning it's just because of that...
I am thinking of you CJ and also the rest of the gang...

(Tonsha! I know you are still there.. But where??? Where??????!!!!!!! LOL)
Love and Peace,

Deb
Have a bloody great weekend everyone!
oxoxoxoxoxo!!!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:12 pm

Ouch Deb, big bills are BAD! Hope it gets sorted out somehow and you can convince them they made a mistake

Don't beat yourself up too much about yesterday. Today is another day entirely. Everybody falls off the wagon sometimes - it's part of being human. I know what you mean about your 'monthly friend' as well - I also find it harder around that time. AND it always seems to either be there, or 'due any day now' LOL.

For my lunch today I had some leftovers from last night's dinner. it was a funny kind of concoction my brother in law 'invented' to use up a load of old bread. There was so much bread left over from his work, he made this, then went on to make a sweet bread and butter pudding too (it was my undoing yesterday evening!)

Toast the bread and cut it into small pieces. Brush the pieces with a garlic clove, cut in half. Put it in a large baking dish.
pour a can of chopped tomatoes over the bread. Add Cayenne pepper, Paprika and Salt.
Cover the tomato bread mixture with a load of cheese (cheddar and lancashire works well, but any cheese will do)
pour some white sauce over the cheese and sprinkle with grated nutmeg.
Bake til golden and bubbly.
Eat.

It's super yummy, if a little wierd-looking!

C.

JWL · Post by **JWL** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 3:50 pm

Hi CaroleJo, sounds like you're doing well overall. Hang in there, and keep at it! Lots of changes in your reality lately, let No-S and your exercise routines be a constant to guide you through...

And thanks for the photo! You're beautiful!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:42 am

Thanks Freakwitch, that's really sweet of you to say.

Well folks, I'm hanging around in my 'old' house, having just taken delivery of a skip and waiting for the first people to show up and help me dig my garden. I'm not really expecting anyone to show before about 10:30, but for some reason had a fit of optimism and booked the skip to arrive at 8am(!) so I've been here a while already!

I'm a little nervous, actually (silly, isn't it?). It's a big job and I don't want to injure myself. I bought loads of yummy BBQ food (including making lots of Kebabs with steak, peppers, onion, mushrooms and zuchini on them), some soup for lunches and lots of bread rolls. There's 4 crates of beers too - hope I got enough for everyone - it's hard to guess cos I've not really got any idea how many people are turning up!!

Just in case you wondered, yes, the house is EMPTY of eveything! I'm typing this on my laptop which is balanced on the window sill in what used to be my study. I'm having to stand cos there's nothing to sit on.

Oh, I can also report that I've managed to squeeze myself into an old pair of jeans to work in, that didn't fit me 3 months ago. Yeah, they're still pretty much 'spray-painted' onto my butt, but at least I can button them up

I might even be able to bend and stretch by the time I've worn them for an hour or so and stretched them out a little too

Right. I suppose I'd better get back to waiting then.....

...still waiting....

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:01 am

Carolejo!
Whatever you do, just don't drink all that beer yerself lass!!!
Hope it all works out.. Are your mates there yet?
Dig Ass!!!!
(said the proctologist to the gardener! LOL...)

Love,

Deb

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:13 pm

Have fun CJ!!!!

Who cares if the jeans are painted on? The fact that you pulled them on is an achievement in my books. Yippeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:16 am

Whooo Hoo!! Go go garden busting action!

My body doesn't feel too bad though, considering I did more hard physical labour in the past 2 days than I think I've done in the whole of the last 5 years!

Back to it now though. No more toasted marshmallows... at least, not until next Saturday

Have a good Monday everyone.
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:01 pm

Good job Carolejo!

Hugs!

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:45 am

Hi Everyone,

just like to report a total SUCCESS with NoS yesterday, despite it being a Monday and therefore somehow 'tricksy and false' (to borrow one of Gollum's favourite phrases).

I also wanted to say that my Nan is out of hospital for the time being. She and my Grandad are staying with my parents for a while. She will have to go back on Monday for test results and probably yet more tests - they still don't really know what the matter is / was. She had a full body CT scan, so there are lots of images to look at, I guess.

Today there are a lot of cakes in the office for Gaetana's birthday. The smell wonderful, but I can't tell you if they taste good, cos I don't plan on eating any.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:18 am

another sucessful day. I managed to resist the temptation of the birthday cakes AND (more difficult) the half bar of Green and Blacks Maya Gold chocolate which is still in the fridge left over from the weekend.

Guess what else? I also stumbled over a bottle of Ginger beer that I'd forgotten about, from halfway through last week!! Still gotta save that till Friday though.

Friday will be an S day as it's my last official day in the Wakefield office at work. I know for a fact that it won't be the last time I'm here, but I need to put a cut-off somewhere, so after 1st October I'll consider myself to be ordinarily resident in Amsterdam! It might be arbitrary, but I do need to know where 'home' is, even if it's only psychological.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:33 am

I've arrived at my penultimate day in the Wakefield office - tomorrow I get CAKES!! Yay!

For now though, everything is fine. Total textbook eating yesterday. Just about to make myself an omlette in the microwave at work for breakfast.

good morning everyone.
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:07 pm

so far so good. I'm going back to taking this one '8 hour period' at a time though cos there's too much happening in my life!!

Arrrgh!!!!!!!!

Today I have a full day at work (big, nasty, important, confidential and very hard project with a deadline of this coming Monday morning and everyone else who might be able to help seems to be either sick or on holiday - I suspect I will be working this weekend then... or at least the part of it when I'm not in the process of moving to a different country). Then it's back to the old house to scrub my bathroom and clean the grease off my oven too. All before I can get back to my sister's house and fix something for supper. To put this further in the frame, my workplace, my old house and my sister's house form a nice isoceles triangle, with my old house at the apex. Lots and lots of driving around in city traffic. Nice. NOT.

On the food front, I'm doing OK today. I managed to resist buying the Gu Chocolate Puds that winked at me from the shelf in the supermarket. I told myself 'It's THURSDAY. You are automatically disallowed, so don't even go there' and left them behind in the chiller cabinet. somehow it felt a bit harder than usual though. Tomorrow is an S day on account of it being my last day in this office, so I only have to make it through another 16 or so hours, and at least 8 of those I'll be asleep. Should be a doddle... Honest.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:22 pm

Carolejo!!!
Good for you on passing up the winking chockies!!!
You rock..
I had a similar experience today at the supermarket...
The chocolate chip cookies were beckoning me.... I passed them though and had a similar "It's Thursday" thought...
Sometimes when it's sooo close to the weekend, it almost makes it harder! LOL.... You can be like, "Oh what's the difference?" but it really does make a difference... You feel so good when you can avoid an impulse eating incident like that!!!
That is real self love!
Sorry you are driving around in an triangle!
Good luck with your tough project...
Peace and Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:37 am

Well, I can really tell that I retrained my tastebuds whilst doing this.

Last night I went to the supermarket to buy some cakes to take to work. I was walking through the fruit aisle and I saw a big bag of juicy grapes and a large crate of plums and though 'Oh, yummy! They'd be PERFECT to take in.'

Of course I got chocolate brownie bites, coconut cakes, mini pastries and cadburys minichocolates to take in as well... but still. This time people actually have a choice to eat some fruit instead or as well as the cake. So far it's been pretty popular, actually. About half the people who have come down to get cake have gone back with some fruit as well.

As for me, of course I ate cake for breakfast(!), but I haven't eaten loads and loads of it, like I used to. I've also eaten more grapes and plums than everything else put together. The grapes actually taste even sweeter to me now than the chocolate brownies do

So, I'm a little nervous today. Probably the sugar-rush won't help matters as I'm about ready to bounce off the walls tigger-fashion already and it's not even 10am here, but what the hell...? It's not like I do this everyday. Not anymore!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:04 am

S-Day, but even considering that I think I might have overdone it a little bit. Having trouble sitting still long enough to type this, even!

Wheeeeeee!!!

*runs around the office pretending to be an aeroplane*

I'm buzzed off my face on all the sugar. Either my tolerance for the 'white drug' has fallen through the floor, or those cakes and chocolate things are even more sugary than they ever were before.

....I think I'm going to have a big headache 'hangover' tomorrow though.

C.

Post by **reinhard** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 1:35 pm

Carolejo, I'm sorry it's been ages since I've posted here. I do take a look every few days but I've been too pressed for time to post much recently (that darn day job again!). I'm glad to read you've been recovering from little setbacks so well, and successfully sticking with it (and losing weight) overall.

Here's an idea for how to get back into regular exercise (if you're interested): focus on the 14 minute time slot. Let yourself do anything you want during those 14 minutes: shovelglove, jumping jacks, even just standing around staring at the wall, but make yourself take them. That carving out the time is the key discipline, what you do during that time is much less important. The reason I think the shovelglove moves in particular are so great is not because they are physiologically kick-ass, but because they're fun enough that it makes it easier for me to carve out that time. The time is the important thing. Do whatever it takes to entice (or compel) yourself to keep it. If it's not shovelglove, or shovelglove plus something else, or something different every day, so be it.

Didn't mean to sound so forceful ("compel" and all that), it's just something to mull over.

Best of luck with the move! Give my regards to the viscount,

Reinhard

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 3:44 pm

Thanks Reinhard! I understand well enough that NoS is now so big that you can't actually post to everyone every day (or even every week!) and still manage to do your day-job, so don't worry, I didn't feel neglected.

You're right about carving out the time. I'm hopeful that this will be easier once I've settled in the new place. I plan to give myself a week to get everything set up, then I'll make a serious effort to move my ass for 14 minutes every day.

So, This is the deadline folks. If you don't see any evidence of the above by the 7th October, I give you all official permission to come over to Amsterdam and kick my lazy butt!

In the meantime, I managed to head off a major sugar crash by eating my fish and chips for lunch at the right time... For now. Don't think I'll get off scot-free though. Still, that's my own silly fault.

Anyhow, I might not get to post much in the next few days as the internet in the new place isn't set up yet. Bear with me, I'll be back before you know it!

Right. Got to go. Builders coming round to give me a quote on finishing off the garden work.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:07 am

Hi everyone,

Well, I survived Friday's excesses. Saturday and Sunday were very abstemious for S days after all those cakes the day before!! I did have a bit of a sugar 'hangover' on Saturday morning, but there wasn't any time to indulge myself as I had to get moving, clear half a tree out of my front yard and then catch a plane to my new life that afternoon.

Today, so far I've been pretty good. Eggs for breakfast, and I'm about to eat my roastbeef sandwich.

Tomorrow might prove to be interesting though. In a bizzare twist of fate, I have a 9am meeting in Coventry, UK, so I have to fly back to Blighty at 7:30am. Yuck. Oh well. It keeps me from getting bored, I suppose!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 5:46 pm

yesterday was probably a 'sucess', but there was a little bit of funny stuff, cos I had 4 small meals rather than my usual 3. Then again, I did get up at 4:30am and not get to bed until nearly midnight, so I suppose I had an extra 5 hours in my day anyway!

Today has been pretty textbook. I've still not started moving yet, but there are lots and lots of boxes to shift around, so I've not been totally sedentary. Also I had to go to the supermarket in my lunchbreak so I cycled there and back (about 10 mins each way).

Sorry that I haven't had a chance to check in on everyone else for the past few days. I've only got a dial-up connection at home at the moment and I've no idea what the phone charges will be like, so I'm taking it easy!

Anyhow. Back to the unpacking.
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:52 pm

Dialup in NY sucks!!! LOL..
Have a great night CJ!!!
I am definitely going to visit you in Amsterdam some time in the future!!!
(Future is main word here... I can't even pay my phone bill yet! LOL...)

Say hi to Mister Viscount....
Hugs to our lovely Carole!!!
Have you sniffed any cakes these days???? LOL...
(That sounds like it should be illegal!)
LOL...

Peace Love and Harmony,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 10:37 am

Hi Y'all. (there's just no equivalent in Brit English to this term, but I reckon there should be so I've been gradually adopting it, much to the annoyance of some of my fellow country(wo)men).

Well, yesterday I finally unearthed the shovelglove from one of the random boxes in my house. Tomorrow is the 7th October, so I guess it has to be day one of my habit-buiding 21 days, which I'll call

Move It, Lard Arse (!) - MILA.

I will do 14 minutes of SOMETHING every day. Even if I only stand there and jiggle the SG around for 14 minutes every day, I'm still going to carve this time out and set it aside.

Timing will still be experimental for a bit, as my life hasn't settled into any sensible routine yet. I'm going to work on a 'If I'm working at home today, you do this as soon as you're up, but if I'm commuting to the office, I must do it the moment I get back into the house in the evening.' principle. The plan is that once everything stabilizes, I'll be at home 3 out of 5 days on average. Maybe I might get to like the first thing in the morning thing enough that I actually manage to crawl out of bed a little earlier, but somehow I doubt it.

In addition to the 'Glove, I also have a mini trampoline rebounder thingy, designed for bouncing and jogging on the spot with reduced joint impact.

I spotted a leaflet that came through my door which I think advertised a local Yoga class which I plan to investigate. I reckon it'll be a good way to meet some people in my new neighbourhood too. Could be interesting, given that I seem to have virtually no kinesthetic sense and generally have no idea where my body parts are in space or time or even relative to each other most of the time (makes me incredibly clumsy and terrible at dancing!). Plus, I'm about as flexible as my own front door!

As well as all that, I'm currently rangering for about 30 minutes on each day that I go into the office, as I have a walk to catch the train, then to catch a bus, then to get to the office building. This might not sound a lot, but I used to get into my car which was right outside my house, drive to work and park right outside the door so it's definately a start.

So. Here it comes. Today is day 0 of MILA. Watch this space!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 8:32 am

NoS:

MILA:

I nearly forgot to start the exercise part today. It was only when I logged onto this board to check if anyone had replied that I realised I hadn't done my 14 minutes when I got up this morning. The advantage of being at home is that I could just pick up the SG and get on with it right then! So, I just finished my first 14 minutes. About 10 of those were very gentle SG, and the last few minutes I did some stepping on my bottom stair cos my arms were hurting a bit by then.

All in all, I'm quite absurdly pleased with myself!

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 2:57 pm

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!

Rock on CJ!!!
Love,

Deb
Have an absurdly wonderful day!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 9:03 pm

Well, I've reached the end of two very yummy S days, but I actually didn't eat at much crap as I normally do, for some reason. Just didn't fancy it much this weekend.

Had some bad news about my Nan on Thursday which still hasn't really sunk in. She has a massive tumour on her pancreas. The doctors won't say anything one way or another (we think that my grandparents may have asked them not to say anything to the family - all they will say is that she has a 'mass' on her pancreas) but various people we know in the medical profession have all confirmed that this is not survivable - especially if you're 84. They are extremely unlikely to operate as this would bring no real benefit and chemotherapy doesn’t pass the risk / benefit assessment either. My Grandparents have gone back home together for now and are busy carrying on as if everything is totally normal.

Everyone is measuring her life expectancy in terms of weeks at best. For now, I'm pretty much carrying on as normal as well. There are still enough immediate and present things to sort out right now, so this has not really made it onto my radar yet. There is absolutely nothing that I would be able to do anyway, even if I did rush off back to visit.

So, hey. Had better weeks, generally.

Tomorrow it's back to the MILA campaign to get fit.
Onwards.
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:39 am

Day 4 MILA:-

So far so good. Got up this morning and got right to it. Set my timer for 14 minutes and hoe-ed to with a mix of gentle shovelglove and some bouncing (not at the exact same time *grin*).

Anyhow, after I'd been going for what felt like FOREVER, I cheated and looked at the timer - I'd forgotten to press 'GO'! So, I actually did something like 20 minutes worth this morning, but I've no idea exactly how long it was.

NoS is still no problem. No funny stuff to report, but then again, it's only Monday morning!

C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:45 pm

Hi CaroleJo:

I am so, so sorry to hear about your Nan.

You and your family are in my heart, mind and prayers.

Dru

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:46 am

My Grandparents have gone back home together for now and are busy carrying on as if everything is totally normal.

there's something beautiful about that.

I'll be thinking about you.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:04 am

Yeah, I have to agree, there's definately something beautiful about it. My Dad put it best when he rang to explain the situation to me.

"For now, they've gone back at home, going about their normal lives, peacefully together, much as they have done for the last 64 years. Who are we to disturb that?"

Whether my Grandparents are aware of the seriousness of my Nan's condition or not, we don't know for sure. They are certainly behaving (outwardly at least) as if everything is fine. If they do know (and they're not naive, so they probably do) then this is their choice and we have to respect that... And if they don't, as my Dad put it "who are we to crash in, wreck their peace and tell them?"

I suppose they have been blessed with an unusually long and (mostly - I'm sure there were hard times as well, as there always are in life) happy life together. It's a gentle and peaceful thing. Sometimes it helps to consider that.

...and sometimes it really doesn't help a great deal.

MILA - no action yet today as I'm in the office. I'll try to do that the second I get back in tonight though.

NoS - mostly success, but I did eat 2 squares of chocolate yesterday that was given to me in a shop to taste, so I suppose it was technically a failure day. Everything else was fine though, so I'm not going to worry about it overmuch. I'm only reporting it to keep myself truthful in the fullest sense.

C.

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:38 pm

CaroleJo:

Your grandparents have been married for 64 years!!! Wow. They must have married very young. These days people seem to get married later. My husband's parents (they live in Christchurch) just celebrated their 50th. I thought that was a long time.

Have a good week.

Dru

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:48 pm

Nanny was 20, Grandad 21 when they married. 1941. On a weekend's leave during the war.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:47 am

Last night I completely forgot about MILA!

...but I did cycle to and from the supermarket (about 8 minutes each way, the return trip with a large heavy rucksack filled with tins) on my shiny new dutch bicycle - Does that count? I also Urban rangered to and from the tube station and to my work from the bus stop - total about 45 minutes walk.

This morning I've not done any Shovelglove yet today either because as soon as I was up, the electrician turned up to fix our lighting circuit. He's just gone (took nearly 3 hours) so I might just go and do that now.... provided the cable TV guy doesn't turn up in the next few minutes of course, he could be here anytime!

Oh dear. Not doing very well at carving out the 14 minutes. This is mainly a problem of simply not remembering! I think I need to write myself a series of notes and stick them on the door handles saying "done your 14 minutes yet today...?"

NoS was textbook good yesterday and so far today. That's made it into my habits now, anyhow.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:10 am

done my 14 minutes for today. It was probably more like 12 minutes of slow, but proper SG, followed by about 2 minutes of standing around jiggling the hammer about a bit going 'come on timer. Ring. My arms hurt now'.

Got to carve out that time though. Must. Try. Harder.

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:02 pm

Work up to it Carolejo!!!
SG isn't about disrespecting your bodies limits till you are in pain!
Good for you for giving it all you got...
Don't sweat the 14 minutes... Even 10 minutes is worthwhile...
You could do 2 minutes of stretching and warming up and 2 minutes of stretching and cooling down...
Hugs!!!
Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:46 am

Hi everyone,

well I got up and did my MILA stuff this morning. Only managed about 7 minutes with the 'hammer though as my arm muscles are tired, but did the remainder of the time with leg lifts, jogging on the spot, a few squats and so on.

Thanks for your post Deb! Don't worry though, I'm acutely aware of my body's limits and won't push too hard *grin*. The main thing I'm trying to do is build the habit of spending 14 minutes doing 'something'. It could be 14 minutes of standing still, staring at the hammer lying at my feet for all I care - the important thing is that I MAKE THE TIME. Actually, standing there looking at the hammer is very boring, so sooner or later I'll pick it up and swing it about!

So anyhow. I can feel in my arms that I did something, but it's not a painful, over-the-top thing, more the gentle aching tiredness of muscles that had to do some work. Certainly nothing to be concerned over, anyhow.

Yesterday evening I also cycled back over to the supermarket to get some limes to go in my Guacomole and Hummous for dinner. Riding my new, second-hand dutch sit-up-and-beg style bicycle is a thing of beauty and joy! Pity I have to do some work today, or else I'd just spend all day riding round my new neighbourhood

I think that might be a bit of functional exercise I'll really come to enjoy. Yes, I know it's probably not quite the same as true Urban ranger walking (I'll be doing plenty of that too), but it makes some places accessible that would otherwise be too far (timewise) and would need a bus ride instead, so it's bound to be good. Shame the Boy hates riding bikes - he managed to fall off and graze his knee a couple of days ago and his pride has been a little dented

. It looks like a classic 6-year-old-kid injury AND he managed to tear his trousers too!!

Greetings to all at the Great Neck Library, and of course the rest of the world!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:58 am

The Boy got back on his bike last night and we went for a short ride to the supermarket and back - mainly just for the sake of it, but also to pick up a few more tins and stuff to stock up our cupboards. His grazed knee is pretty sore, but doesn't seem to be slowing him down all that much anymore.

Today I'm in the office again, so no MILA yet til I get home tonight. Just about gotten the commute licked though - 15 minute walk, train, 2 flights of stairs, 2nd train, 2 minute walk, bus ride, 10 minute walk. All in all it takes about an hour and fifteen minutes on a good day.... or 90 minutes when the connections don't work out so well. 50 minutes of enforced walking every day I go into the office, carrying my heavy laptop bag is bound to be good for me though.

NoS - yesterday was a complete Success, as is usual these days. I was tempted by the chocolate in the fridge, but the thought of the fast approaching weekend enabled me to hold off for now.

Have a good Friday everyone!
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:01 am

Friday - FAILURE. Oh dear!

Didn't do any SG or other 14 minutes of exercise. Ate a stroopwafel at 5:30pm too.

Today I'm back in the UK again, so there won't be any SG this week at all, as the sledgehammer is back at home. I will try to eat sensibly anyway though - but I managed to skip breakfast this morning so that wasn't a good start. So far I'm not crawling up the walls with hunger though, but I do feel pretty sluggish and slow.

Right. Lunchtime. Let's do this right.
C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 1:58 pm

Yo Carolejo!!!
Just wanted to say hello!!!
I am totally aggravated by this writing at the library...
It sucks!
LOL...
I feel pressured to keep up and can't even have my coffee and comfy chair!!!
Keep on plugging!
I caved into chocolate at least once a week the first five months I was on NoS... It slowly changed...
Hope you and Steve are enjoying your new digs!
Visit any "coffee shops"??? LOL...

Peace and Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 4:02 pm

Hi Deb,

Thanks for writing to me

don't worry too much about trying to keep up, or the whole library thing. things will get better again, pretty soon in the grand scheme of it all I'm sure.

I know what you mean about caving in. I've gotten to the point recently where I've stopped paying so much attention, so I think I need to go back and try for 21 days solid again... but not till I get back home to Amsterdam, anyhow

Take care and hang in there!
C.

Tonsha · Post by **Tonsha** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:07 pm

Hi Carole. Just thought I'd wish you well

Missing breakfast is *hard*. I don't think I ever missed breakfast, even before I got on the latest No-S attempt. Just stay positive and grit your teeth! You can make it 'til lunch time!

...and make sure you have breakfast tomorrow!

Good luck!

DaveA

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:11 am

Hi folks.

Yesterday - FAILURE.

My sister made a whole load of merangues (spelling..?). I caved in. I didn't just eat one though, I ate 6.

Eventually I had to ask her to hide the tin from me, otherwise I would have eaten the remaining 20 or so without giving it much more than a second's thought. Spot the sugar junkie who fell off the wagon, anyone?

This morning I had some breakfast though. Today will be better. I will dust myself down and get back to it.

Tomorrow I have a day's holiday, to go shopping, arrange a mortgage transfer and all sorts of things. I'm also going out to dinner at my friend Jo's house in the evening. I'm going to make tomorrow evening 'S' if need be (but not go crazy) but eat NoS until at least 7pm when I get to Jo's.

Right. Onwards.
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:53 pm

today part 2.
Made it to lunch. Had a sensible lunch, with no 'funny stuff' but there was a little bit of virtual plating cos I didn't want to get caesar salad dressing on my ham sandwich

On to part 3.
I've almost reached the stage this week where I need to look at 'mini-successes' each day, rather than taking the day as a whole. I don't know why this is, but I'm determined not to let it all fall apart now. There's no logical reason why the last few days should have been harder than before. I'm sure it will get easier again though once my routine settles down a bit.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:37 am

Today is a good day...
Today I'm wearing a pair of trousers which are identical in all respects to the pair I was wearing on Tuesday, except they're one whole size SMALLER.

Ha! I finally got to the point where the size 20 ones kept (nearly) falling down, so I bought a pair of size 18.

RAHHHH!!!!

HAPPY.

On other news, Tuesday was a SUCCESS, Wednesday was an S day, but I only Essed for the evening meal at Jo's house. The rest of the day was textbook.

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 3:15 pm

Yayyyyyyy Carolejo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thrilled for you!!!!!!!!

Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:15 am

Another pretty good day yesterday. I did cheat a little and eat 2 squares of dark chocolate that I found in my sister's fridge last night, but apart from that I behaved well.

Today is my last full day in the UK before I'm heading back home to Amsterdam. All this shuttling back and forth is messing with my head though - I just want to stay put in Amsterdam now for the next 2 months at least and NOT GO ANYWHERE, but sadly it's not to be! I have to be back here in the UK again in 2 week's time for a medical appointment

. I'm also gonna have to go 'home' to my parents for a visit and see my Nan sometime soon. Looks like I'll be spending an average of 2 days every week over here in blighty for quite a while yet. Bleugh! I *definately* have travel fatigue now!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 9:13 pm

BACK HOME!!!! It's really starting to feel like home for real in Amsterdam now.

Had quite an easy-going S day today. I've only really Essed by eating about 4 squares of Green & Blacks Maya Gold Chocolate (Yes, It Deserves The Capitals, It's Definately That Good! *grin*)

I had a great leaving do last night with lots of my mates from Leeds and a few from other places. There were also surprise guests - my best friend Suzi came up from Coventry and my PARENTS came 400 miles up from Sussex for the evening! Wow. Very very good surprises. I like good surprises! It was fantastic to see everyone. Several people commented that I was looking a bit slimmer these days too

Friday was a NoS success day. At the evening do, I only drank beer (and plenty of it

) and didn't want to eat crisps etc, so it was a textbook day really.

Right. Time for me to head into the shower and thence to bed.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 2:53 pm

been exploring on my bike today. When I got home, I measured where I'd been on the map and was somewhat surprised to find out I'd cycled about 35km in all! Whooo. My thighs are really burning now though. I think I'll take a warm bath tonight to help with the aches and pains. I was out for about 5 hours in all, but 30 minutes of that was sitting in a bus shelter whilst it rained and 30 minutes was the train ride home (my bike felt like it could keep going forever, but my legs were refusing to co-operate anymore by that point!).
Amsterdam is pretty much completely flat, so there are no hills. Mind you, my bike has only one gear, so it's just as well.

Enjoying my S day too, but I've not really eaten much, just eaten in little snacky stops rather than in whole meals. If I was to virtually plate it all up, I probably ate less than I would normally do on an N day. Funny how that works out sometimes.

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:00 am

My legs are a bit tired today, but they haven't fallen off, like I'd almost expected them to.

I must try to remember to do some SG when I get home from the office...

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:58 pm

yesterday was a total success. I even did a full 14 minutes with the 'glove.

The kids from the house opposite were watching me through the window though. I tried hard not to look at them back, but I think they know that I know they were watching... if you see what I mean! Dead funny though. It doesn't bother me!!

C.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:48 pm

Yay Car-ley-ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace and Love,

Deb

ps... Who cares about some kid watching you????
If the crowd gets too big, you might want to charge a viewing fee!!!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:50 pm

done my 14 minutes again today. First thing in the morning just isn't happening though, even when I'm stopping at home for the day. Today I finally decided to do it at around 3:30pm. It felt like a 'nothing' kind of time, a staring into space kind of time, so I figured "right! That's it!! Get up off your butt and go swing the hammer". I have to admit, I spent about 5 of my 14 minutes standing around jiggling the hammer lightly - my arms haven't quite caught up with the program yet - but I'm definately on a roll this week so far.

Tomorrow I'm working at home again, so that should be OK. Thursday I'm back in the office though.

I'll of course let you know how it goes.

Oh, NoS - Perfect eating today. It's *so* *so* much easier now I'm back in my OWN HOUSE!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:11 pm

MILA:

NoS:

So far so good. I did 14 minutes of slow but pretty consistent SG at lunchtime today. No kids peeking at me today

I also cycled to the Boy's workplace (about 5 minutes each way) and we walked together to the DIY store to choose some curtains (about 10 mins walk each way).

Tonight I plan to attack at least 2 more boxes. The unpacking seems to have stalled for the last few days, and I HAVE to get back to it, or we'll never get it all done!

C.

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 8:24 am

Cheated last night on the NoS and ate 4 small pieces of chocolate. Not the best, but far from the worst thing ever. I'm only really reporting it to keep myself honest and accountable. If this was a 21 day club attempt, it would be a failure, but in the everday scheme of things it's OK, I can live with that.

Today could prove challenging, as I'm in the office but forgot to take any sandwiches or fruit. My food options are therefore limited to microwaveable hotdogs out of the vending machine in the common room, as I also managed to miss the lunchbus. Oh well. It'll be OK, I guess - but I can almost feel my insides melting just that the thought of the toxicity of it all!

C.

Everyday Systems

carolejo's daily Check in

Day 1 of MILA

Best wishes