So frustrated with myself!

[FarmerHal]

GAH!!

I have had several weeks in a row where I blow it completely every stinking day. I snack in the afternoon. I eat an entire bag of popcorn at night. Tonight, to top all that off, I had half a family sized box of wheat thins.
Dangitdangit. And to top it off, I am back at having an egg/cheese bagel AND a huge bowl of cereal (I hate cereal even! But it's there and it feels soo good to eat it) Supper I pig out as well. I've blown off one plate rule and just pile it on and on. Seconds and thirds- of rolls especially.

Bleh.

This was to be the year that I was going to hit 199. I am still 216, going up from 209 a few months ago.



My husband is deploying for a year early next year. We are moving home (bought our own house) and I've been completely stressing about how I'm going to handle it all. How is he going to do all by himself half a world away?

Every second that I have free, I've been eating again.

NOSing works! I've gone from 245 down to 209. I should be able to kick it in the pants and get losing more.
I don't know what My funk is, but I wish I would just get over it and move on.

Ugh.
Venting.
Thanks for listening!

[clicklbd]

Tiffani, stress will do it to you. My friend died over the weekend. She was 38, and had two young children. Yesterday her husband contacted me to let me know. It was pretty awful, and I ate last night. Not chowed down, but ate dessert and it wasn't an S day. But to celebrate small favors, my dessert choice was not sugary at all (I made it with the kids, and it had less than 1 t per serving -- mostly fruit.) But it still was something more than I had planned.

But sometimes we just need to get through the moment, and we don't have better skills. So I'm working on better skills.

Don't beat yourself up. That makes it worse. Can you think about other things you can do when you are stressed?

[Merry]

(((Hugs))). I'm sorry you're going through a lot right now. For what it's worth, thanks for the sacrifice you and your husband are making for our country.

I hope you can find some other stress relievers...but my dh has been disabled for 8 years & many of those years I felt like a single parent...so I know about stress affecting diet, and times when I didn't feel like doing anything else at all. I keep coming back to basics--drinking plenty of water, getting enough rest, getting some sunshine as often as I can (especially heading into winter when SAD is common if you're in the northernly regions), getting some walking in--walking is good for the body and the mind and soul, time with hubby and time with friends as I'm able, and time with God.

When stress hits, it's so easy to not take care of ourselves...and that's when we need the most care. Hang in there, Merry

[Betty]

Tiffini,

Ouch. Sorry you are having a hard time. Sounds like things are pretty crazy for you right now and I hope you can find peace. Hang in there.

I am an expert binger. Years and years of stress eating. It's a horrible, out of control, masochistic feeling.

The only way I know of to stop a binge is to eat well. To make myself a feast of exactly what I want. Not pastries, but a wholesome, nourishing, tasty meal. Be your own mom for a minute. What do you need?

For me, a binge-stopping meal, or series of meals, might be something like: fresh, seasonal fruits and veggies. Maybe a zuchinni stuffed with breadcrumbs and other veggies with tons of melted cheese on top. Fresh herbs. Fresh, home made bread with butter. A slice of the highest quality kosher chicken. Blueberries, strawberries and cherries for desert.

For me, binges are a cue that I need to nourish myself, that there's something essential missing from my life and I'm trying to replace it with food. Ideally, of course, I could do this through exercise or going to an art museum or something, but for now, having a meal like the one above is my attempt to say to myself that I can enjoy food and give my body something that will make me feel good, healthy, and alive.

So, what I would do is give yourself a NWS day and eat as well as you can and as beautifully as you can and as healthily as you can all day long. Then take a deep breath and get back on track.

Hope this helps,
Betty

[howfunisthat]

Clicklbd...I hope you're re-reading this message 'cause I'm so very sorry about your friend passing away....What a sad & difficult thing to go through....I'm sending my most sincere sympathies....


Shamrockmommy...Okay....take a deep breath...if losing weight was easy, we'd all be there....but it's not...and this is a battle. I've not been in your shoes, so I'm not going to pretend to have the answers...but I do know that you can still do this....and you are probably the hardest on yourself about having some difficult days. You have a lot of uncertainty ahead of you...and I can't imagine the stress that must bring...perhaps the stress of the future is causing you to lose sight of today. I have friends who have a 20 yr-old son who is dying of an incurable disease. They know it will happen in the next few years...obviously they could let the knowledge of that eat them up and steal all their joy out of life...and there are days that they are understandably incredibly sad...but they are choosing to only think about today. They take him on trips and canoe rides and listen to baseball with him...they try very hard to let go of the tomorrow's and focus on today.....they live today...just today. They aren't ignorant of what will happen, nor are they just trying to deny the future, they want to enjoy today and accept all the joy they can. Okay...I know that's not your situation, but perhaps trying to take one day at a time right now might be something that would help you get back on track. Early next year will be really hard....but today you can enjoy your husband and enjoy the fact that this plan HAS worked for you...you are healthier today than you were a month ago...today can be a great day....just today.

Again, I'm not in your shoes and I don't truly know how to help...this is just the first thing that popped into my head & I hope it's something that might give you hope in this.

Thanks for sharing your struggles....and let us know how you're doing!

janie

[kccc]

What wise advice here!

Tiffani, be gentle with yourself. Listen to the others' good advice about nourishing, comforting meals, and think about what else you can do to take care of yourself.

Things I do when stressed...
- Journal. I write 3 pages (5.5 x 8 journal size) per day. Somehow, seeing worries on paper helps me think through them.
- Attend to basics. Water. Healthy food. Sunshine. Exercise. Sleep. It's easy to let them go, but I know I need them most.
- Connect. My husband and I do "six hugs a day" when we're stressed. Semi-joking, but it seriously helps. Or call a friend. Plan lunch. Social connections are a source of support.
- Back to writing... make a list. All the things that need to be done.
- Take action. If I do ONE THING on my list, the momentum helps.
- Breathe. Honestly, we forget and breathe shallowly when stressed. Deep breaths really do help.

Hope something on this list helps you. Best wishes!

[FarmerHal]

Thanks for the support, everyone.

KCCC I don't journal, but I do have a binder full of lists of need to be done's. It really does help.

I need to remember (and it's in my siggy!) that snacking, seconds, and sweets will NOT solve my emotional problems. It might feel good while I'm eating- to feel something other than anxiety, but it won't do any good for my body in the long run.

<sigh>

So far doing better today. I feel like I want to eat right now, but I can wait an hour until lunch.

Thanks again, so much everyone. It really helps to just type it all out!

[FarmerHal]

The good news is that I"ve inspired a mom at my son's preschool to try nosing
I think that may just be the kick in the pants I needed!

[amieru]

Shamrockmommy, my heart goes out to you! I really respect those who are deployed overseas and leave behind families who miss them sooooo much.

My oldest girl was in the Army for 4 years and sent straight to Germany a few months after graduating high school and her other training. Then from Germany she was sent to Iraq....I'd get calls and emails where she was really scared........ and too being so young and BAM!........she's out of the country away from everything she knew. It was hard on us too, because this was when the war was getting really started. We were wondering if she'd be safe........and sometimes I would turn to food and eat and eat ........... alot of times I'd just pray to God to keep her safe.

I'll be thinking of you and your husband and family that all will go well ........and that you will be able to find a sense of peace in the midst of all this moving and changes that you are going thru.
Amie

[reinhard]

Tiffani,

Big picture, you've made tremendous progress. And your difficulties of late are very understandable. Don't beat yourself up about them.

And don't worry about some arbitrary target number on the scale. Just focus on getting the basic behaviors firmly back in place. It's less stressful, and ultimately far more effective. You obviously know all this already -- but sometimes it helps to hear it repeated.

clicklbd,

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful. It seems not just trivial, but wrong to worry about food at times like that. You did just fine.

Reinhard

[clicklbd]

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful. It seems not just trivial, but wrong to worry about food at times like that. You did just fine.

Reinhard, thank you. Yesterday was the funeral, and I suspect my heart was more empty than my belly, but I had a snack in the evening. I was feeling very sad, and then spoke to someone who was NOT supportive and I hit my threshold.

But it was ok. I just let the slip go. It's a day in what will hopefully be a lot of years of NoSing.

I want to add something -- since I've taken food out of the picture (the rules are so *simple*), my feelings have come more to the forefront. I tend to be the great supporter, but then not very good at asking for support. Since I started this program, I've been better at asking for support (food doesn't work!) And while I felt incredibly sad this week, I didn't feel out of control foodwise, which is a victory for me.

[blueskighs]

Tiffani and clicklbd,

the things you are both talking about are TUFF! I love what clicklbd said about just "one day in years of nosing", one of the things No S is helping me with is just deal with the "mess and unexpectedness" of life, makes me think of the book The Road Less Traveled, I read somewhere it sold millions of copies JUST BECAUSE the first sentence was:

Life is difficult.

There IS much beauty and splendour in life, but there is also a lot of caca, loss, disarray, etc. etc. as well, there are often no words for difficult times, gentle consistent DO-ing can be the most therapeutic, my heart goes out to both of you and glad you are here,

Blueskighs

[clicklbd]

the things you are both talking about are TUFF! I love what clicklbd said about just "one day in years of nosing", one of the things No S is helping me with is just deal with the "mess and unexpectedness" of life,

Yes, and the other thing that occurred to me is that NORMAL eaters do occasionally eat too much or snack or eat when they are stressed. The issue is that they don't do it every day or as their M.O.

[Jaxhil]

hey Tiffani!!

{{hugs}}

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it right now! Given your current circumstances, what with your DH being deployed, moving to a whole 'nother state, and two small kids to take care of, I can *completely* understand how you could slip (maybe even JUMP) off the wagon for a bit. I can't imagine having my DH being deployed for a year. I'd be doing the same thing as you, probably worse! I, too am grateful (my Dad was military too) to Jesse, you and all the other countless families that go through this to protect our freedoms.

Everyone has already given you such inspiring words to help you through this, so I just wanted to let you know I'm still here for you, and thinking of you and your family.

[TingTing]

Oh, Shamrockmommy, please forgive yourself. It's understandable why you turn to food since you are so stressed out. You will get back on track again once you start to cope with the problems you are having. What you are going through right now is not forever. Please be kind to yourself.

Best of luck to your husband. I want to thank him for serving our country and I am proud of him for answering the call.

[FarmerHal]

clickbld, I am so sorry to hear about your friend, what a tragedy! (((hugs)))

Tiffani,

Just focus on getting the basic behaviors firmly back in place. It's less stressful, and ultimately far more effective. You obviously know all this already -- but sometimes it helps to hear it repeated.

Reinhard

This is invaluable advice and worth repeating, sometimes every day! I've had another successful day, and I was so grateful for everyone's replies of support! I am trying to look at the bright side and focus on each day, to get through. So far, we have till February, which seems like both eons away and next to tomorrow, and the stress of him leaving is hovering over us.

Although, I am trying to take advice from a friend whose hubby is a week away from returning from an 8 month deployment... she said that she really stressed the weeks before he actually left, and she wishes now that she had just enjoyed the time they had to share together rather than fret about him leaving every day and being stressed about it. It's great advice and gives me clarity for sure.

The other most helpful thing is another friend went through a year-long deployment, had 3 kids to shuffle around, a house, bills, etc. She was such a positive person throughout, even on bad days, she was full of laughter and positivity each day. She is a wonderful role model for sure, and I can see that I could either wallow in pity and worry day by day, or be positive, find fun things to do and just be happy in teh company of my (busy, active, funny, annoying, tantrum-throwing, sweet, silly) children!


Ok, so that's a long reply, but, again, I feel so blessed to be a member of such a great board, and a wonderful way of life, a proud noser

Thanks everyone!