the witching hours...and it's not even dark!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:33 pm

Uuh-o-o-oh, it's the witching hours. Just after school has let out for the day, the air conditioning broke again so I was teaching in the heat, students letting days go by without asking the simplest questions so I don't even know they are stuck back at the beginning...anyway, it's too hot to exercise, my house is hot, and I just want to eat! It's pitiful that I have nothing else compelling in my life to replace food. BUT, I am also really tired of not being able to put green squares on my habit calendar. I've got 90 minutes--maybe 75, if things get too scary-- to go. Damn it, I can do this! Okay, I can either get to dinner time without eating or poke myself really hard in the eye...hmmm...like Jack Benny, if anyone is old enough here to know who that is, I'm thinking about it...

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:53 am

oolala,

the witching hour ... yes I like that image ... when all those little goody foodie things call ...

I'm sorry I don't remember Jack Benny but poking yourself in the eye gave me a giggle ... as far as something compelling in your life to replace eating ...

well what are you waiting for? now's a great time to seek ...

Blueskighs

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:07 am

Thanks, blueskighs! I decided to visit a temple of consumerism; I ended up at Target. I parked in the shade so I had to walk much farther; by the time I walked, shopped, and walked, I had used up enough time so that I could stop and get something for dinner on the way home. Made it! I'm home free now for today. Nothing is going to keep me from gettin' a green square after lasting through that hour and a half.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:37 am

oolala53 wrote:Where the hell is Easy Street?

There's an Easy Street in a town close to me - can't remember which town it is, though. I chuckle every time I drive by it.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:57 pm

I wonder what happens on Easy Street...

SassyInkPen · Post by **SassyInkPen** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:28 pm

oolala53 wrote:It's pitiful that I have nothing else compelling in my life to replace food. ...

It's NEVER too late to add those things! There must be some things you're interested in - start reading books and looking them up on the internet....soon you'll have MORE than enough things to occupy youself with when you're trying to keep from snacking.

Sassy

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:38 pm

Thanks for the suggestions, all. I was trying to be a little comical; I guess I'd better keep my day job and not strike out on the stand-up circuit very soon! I actually have many pursuits that have been and/or continue to be compelling for me: I've been doing West African dance for 13 years, I have sets of weights, tons of workout videos, have taught yoga, have taken classes in macrobiotic cooking, voiceover, copyediting, singing, I teach high school, hike, etc. But, when food is tugging at me, I cannot always run off and do those things to counter the urges. I don't really think it's a logical thing; many people have happy marriages, wonderful children, financial freedom, and things that seem like they should be fulfilling, but they still eat too much and weigh too much. I think for me what it comes down to is that I just haven't yet reached inside myself to tap into the strength I have shown in many other situations and toughed it out often enough to have that become the default. It's also that, crazy as it sounds, the disadvantages of overeating to the point I do now (much less than in the past-lost 30 pounds and kept if off for three years) haven't outweighed-pardon the pun- the advantages of not overeating up to now. I'm not miserable. I know it's common to try to downplay the pleasures of food much like the military tries to convince recruits that the enemy is not a human being with good qualities and loving families. But I rarely eat to the point where I'm uncomfortable and I don't beat myself up for it-haven't for 25 years, so eating is mostly a pleasurable experience for me. It just irks me to depend on it and it irks me to weigh above my highest "healthy" BMI. (Most people think I weigh ten to twenty pounds less than I do.) I would like to weigh ten pounds under that, but I'm not willing to starve (which I'm not doing with noS and haven't done for more than 25 years-don't have to learn that lesson twice!) or have an outlandish workout schedule to do it. One of the disincentives is that, since I lost that weight, I actually think I look good, most of the time, so I'm not driven by shame! I don't love my cellulite, but I've never not gone swimming at the beach, not even when I weighed near 200. Poo on them, if they can't take a joke! But, doggone it, I can do this, this moderation thing, and I'll like it!

Hey, I think I've found something more compelling than eating: ranting online and possibly irritating my potential support group! Yeehaw!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 1:29 am

Since my humor didn't make it before, I don't know why I took a risk with my last line in my last post; I really think this is a great board, and I don't want to alienate anyone. I'm grateful anyone is grappling with these issues and willing to share about it. I even hope to be of aid to others, if I ever gain any wisdom to share.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:27 am

No need to feel insecure about posting anything you think or feel here.
We are in this together.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 1:04 pm

I thought you were funny Oohlala

LOL
Have a good weekend.
Ditto to what Bright Angel said

Peace,

Debs

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:42 am

Like others want to hit the bars after work on Friday, I felt a tug today towards the discount grocery with their ridiculously good and reasonably priced ice cream and cookies. Happy hour! But I didn't do it. Just gotta wait til tomorrow. Green squares! I had three success days in a row. My, how far away those two red days at the beginning of the week seem. Why, I'm a pro now, aren't I? Funny how smug one can feel so soon. The big test will be if I can go back to it after Sunday. With all due respect, I always think it's funny when it's said that there is no feeling of deprivation when there are free days involved. Ha! I tried for years giving myself permission to eat any kind of food I wanted as long as I was hungry. All I had to do was wait until the next time I was hungry, never mind the weekend, and I couldn't consistently do it! I've gone through bouts of being able to put off chocolate gratification, but usually one thing led to another, day after day. I have the sense that this is my last best hope, though, so I'd better just make it work, because the alternative is continued mild chaos, and the nagging feeling that it just doesn't make sense to eat so often when I don't need to. I mean, it's a matter of pride, don't you see? What, am I a child that has to have a cookie to punctuate the day? Apparently so, for the last 55 years, or for a lot of them. Holy Toledo, I've got to get this down and have a few years on this good earth feeling at peace with food, for pity's sake. Good luck to me and cheers, all.

la_loser · Post by **la_loser** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:13 pm

Yeah, for me, it's "Pass the chips and queso please!" when we happen to go out to dinner on a weeknight and lots of the places we frequent bring those right to the table. I thought about doing the "Sabbath" thing that someone suggested although I'm not Jewish and going from Friday sundown to Sunday sundown, then realized that by staying strong on Fridays, I'd be avoiding some of the major issues of my overeating to begin with. I just put some on my one plate and it's a part of my meal. . . period. After all, STAYING STRONG and STRICT are GOOD S words!

I love your line about this being your "last best hope. " I suspect with your sense of humor, you'll appreciate that when I read that, I could hear Princess Leia saying, "Luke you are my only hope!" Now Skywalker--that's another good S! A new motto could be

"No S-you are my only hope!"

Now I've brought 70's pop culture to the boards! May the force be with us all!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:29 pm

Thanks for your message of strength. Hell, it ain't war or gettin' shot at, is it? We can do this!

oooo, I crumbled a few Tostitos Salsa Verde chips into one of my lunch salads this week--awesome! and Viva la Friday nights!

Also, the phrase "last best hope" has been used in the titles of several books, but it comes from an annual speech delivered to Congress by Lincoln in 1862. So I'm bringing the '60's--not the hippie '60's, not yet-- to the boards! but I think the Skywalker link will be more meaningful to the participants. As Plato/Socrates said, "The right word in the right ear."

la_loser · Post by **la_loser** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:42 pm

Oolala,
I do think we think alike! We're near the same age and seem to have a lot of similar thoughts--now that's scary, huh! And I too am a teacher--but my "kids" are college students who are working to become teachers.

You might be interested in checking out the No S Glossary I started. . . and I need to update with my newest "catch phrase" that seems appropriate. Reinhard made it a sticky so it stays at the top of the No S General Discussion Board. Feel free to add as you see fit--and anyone else who has some great one-liners that support or describe this adventure we're on.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 11:44 pm

I had problems come up at lunch time today, so I got only a few bites in before it was time to start class, which was over in an hour, at 2:15. I finished my food then. I'm not going to count that as a failure. In a similar situation in the future, I may elect to drink something during lunch time to tide me over and then eat the full meal later. I don't even feel like snacking today. It's horribly hot again, so I am going over by the ocean to walk and cool off. Looks like it's going to be a green square day!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:04 pm

oolala53 wrote:I had problems come up at lunch time today, so I got only a few bites in before it was time to start class, which was over in an hour, at 2:15. I finished my food then. I'm not going to count that as a failure. In a similar situation in the future, I may elect to drink something during lunch time to tide me over and then eat the full meal later. I don't even feel like snacking today. It's horribly hot again, so I am going over by the ocean to walk and cool off. Looks like it's going to be a green square day!

I've had an interrupted lunch a couple of times too--with kids & homeschooling it's hard not to, LOL! I don't think of those as failures either--I had my plate, I ate it, eventually!

Merry

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:19 pm

Snacking on Tuesday night sent me on a bender. I hope I can get back on track tomorrow. I've thought I was going to be able to other days this week and I didn't. What's that saying? Your behavior in the past doesn't have to be an indicator of your behavior in the future. As with stocks! I need to drive the value of my "stocks" up!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:54 am

Once again, I could not eat my lunch during lunch time, and was behind the 8 ball afterwards as well, so I ended up eating it in stages throughout the afternoon. It seemed better than shoveling it in, but I was also afraid not to eat it and get too hungry, because I'm actually still here at work (6 p.m. PST) and have to do some more before I leave. (don't ask, I got myself into this, and here I am.) I didn't want to be starved and I didn't want to have to leave before I was ready. Curses! But, no sweets and no seconds!given the amount I have eaten and the seemingly reasonableness of this situation, I want to call this day a success, but ...

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:17 am

oolala53, did you plan your lunch in advance? Was it "one plate"? Did you eat MORE because you were spreading it out as best as you could?

If you haven't eaten more than you would have otherwise, and the answers are yes, yes, no, then call it "virtual plating" and let it go.

(I will warn you that virtual plating can be a slippery slope, as I've found to my cost! But I can do it at lunch, because I have a "standard pattern" for lunches packed for work that I don't deviate from. And it sounds as if that's what you did)

It sounds as if you're doing the best you can in a difficult situation - and that's all you can expect of yourself.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:44 am

Thanks, KCCC. I pack my lunch and it amounts to a plate, but I have it in compartments so the yogurt doesn't mix with something it shoudn't, etc. So, no, I don't eat more. It's all I have. I used to always plan it so that I did have a snack (veggies and a little cheese or nuts, maybe half a tortilla) late in the afternoon, but I've left that out. I was just asking because I still haven't gone three weeks with strict N days. I'm going to go with your recommendation and keep trying to figure out how not to have to work during lunch!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:46 pm

The witching hour came early today. I was the fourth person in line to vote this morning, and I was so excited afterward that when my eye fell on the empty package of Halloween marshmallow candy in the back seat of my car, I had the urge to get something sweet to celebrate. I ended up going a roundabout way to get to work just looking for a place for leftover H. goodies. Thankfully most of the places I thought of giong weren't open yet, but I knew there was a Von's on the way. Then, as I got off the freeway, I was thinking about my 39-year-old niece, who weighs about 300 pounds. She is in a high risk category for breast cancer (so am I) and the weight exacerbates that. My brother-in-law's side of the family is pretty heavy, God love 'em, and the women on my side have struggled with being overweight, but not obese. She has seen me 30 lbs. heavier. I decided it was worth resisting this urge to possibly be an example to her later. Until you're ready, other people losing weight can be threatening, but when you're ready, they are your models and allies. I would like to be that for her some day, if she likes, and I just hope she chooses a reasonable way to do it. No S is about as reasonable as it gets. I'm not one to lose weight for others, so I'm not scared this is a sign I'm not "doing this for myself." I've got about 18 other reasons, and most of them are pretty darn selfish. Any port in a storm. Except self-hatred.

Now let's see if I make it through the other witching hours.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:44 pm

I've had meetings late two days this week. The witching hours passed. I went home and ate dinner. Yay! Gee, I didn't think that the answer was working more....

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:47 pm

Ha! I haven't posted since the weekend after Thanksgiving because my 3 weeks of N days didn't prove to be the turning point. The witching hours stretched out to days. funny thing is, I don't usually go bonkers on the holidays anymore, but it would be hard to describe what happened any other way. It is extending to today, too!

But, I'm here in hopes that readin' and postin' will be part of what brings me back around. That and how tight my pants are. However, I still ate chocolate chips while wearing this denim girdle. Pray for sanity for me.

MerryKat · Post by **MerryKat** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:39 am

oolala53

I love your posts.

First off, congratulate yourself on coming back here. That is a big step towards getting back on track (I know, I 'run' away for months when I step off the wagon).

Secondly, take one day at a time and before you know it you will have weeks of lovely green squares.

Lastly, stick with Vanilla No S and get back into the habit.

Hugs
Mo

TingTing · Post by **TingTing** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:46 pm

To tell my tale of woe: last night, I innocently went into Walgreen's to buy some cheap steak knives but instead I walked out with "2 Buck Choc"!

I did so well the whole day. I did not snack even though someone bought in cookies to the office and I ate a reasonable breakfast and lunch. It was terrible that I slipped up after work while shopping!

To my credit, I only ate a small piece of the cheap chocolate and then threw the rest of it into the back of my freezer.

I don't know why I did what I did. It was just an odd craving for something really sweet at the end of the day and the price on the chocolate definitely appealed to me!

I hope that one day I will have the strength to get away from sweets and just totally relegate them to the "S" days.

I wish you nothing but luck.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:18 pm

TingTing wrote: I innocently went into Walgreen's to buy some cheap steak knives
but instead I walked out with "2 Buck Choc"!

That still happens to me.
Now, however--most of the time--the item
just gets a ride around the store in my cart
then is replaced on the Shelf before checkout.

If the item makes it past checkout,
I can still choose to use the garbage can or store it away.
I may have failed to avoid the purchase,
but my opportunity to choose when and if I'll eat it remains.

Everyday Systems

the witching hours...and it's not even dark!

the witching hours...and it's not even dark!

I made it

hmmm...

Re: the witching hours...and it's not even dark!

TX for sugggestions

in case I need to apologize

TGIF, but temptation comes with it

No S--You are my only hope!

btw

No S Catch Phrase Glossary

late lunch

Re: late lunch

witching hours extended

what funny stuff

forgot about virtual plating

eating to celebrate

huh...

oh, lordy