ADVICE WANTED!

tarantinofan · Post by **tarantinofan** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:20 pm

Lately, I've become completely obsessed with food again. I don't know why that is, and it's really frustrating. For a little while, for maybe a month, I stopped thinking about food, stopped being hungry except for at meal times, and it was soooo freeing. However, lately I've become so obsessed with food again. I'm always thinking about when I can have my next cookie, and I end up giving in during the middle of the week because it's just too miserable to be thinking about sweets all the time.

PLEASE I'd lovvveee to hear your take on if this has happened to you, or why you think it's happening to me. I'm thinking about food all the time and it's a miserable existence to revert back to.

Maybe because I've been trying to ignore the craving for food like pizza? I've also begun exercising daily again, so could this contribute? Or, is it because I have too much fake sugar in diet coke, diet snapple, and sugar free gum? Also, I haven't been sleeping too much and have been really stressed from midterms. Could this cause my intense desire for emotional, comfort food?

It's so disheartening, and I just can't live like this. I'd love advice!

Thanks!!

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:17 am

Well, good God, if you're craving pizza, have a slice for one of your meals! Seriously, pizza isn't an S, and while you wouldn't want to live on it, the only thing you have to worry about is not eating more than fits on a plate.

I was having a craving for onigiri (japanese style rice balls) for dinner today. While I don't normally make a dinner out of white rice with a salt filling, I had onigiri for dinner and didn't even question it. It's No-S approved as long as you don't eat more than will fit on a plate. (In fact, you CANT. Fills you up too fast).

Mounted Ranger! · Post by **Mounted Ranger!** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:03 am

Forgive me for asking, especially if you're a man

, but could it be that time of the month?

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:48 am

I hung on for months, and I eventually stopped thinking about food except at mealtimes. My favorite words from Reinhard's book are, "You're pre-disapproved." If you strictly follow the no snacks rule, eventually it doesn't really matter if food is around because you're not having any until the next mealtime and eventually you stop thinking about food and hunger.

I gave up coffee a few weeks ago. Now I'm not even tempted to have the coffee that my husband leaves in the coffee pot before he leaves for work. Sometimes perfect compliance is easier because you know in advance the answer is no.

Kathleen

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:09 am

One thing that strikes me is that you're bothered by how much you're thinking about food, not how much you're hungry for food. Maybe that means this isn't about hunger, but about the stress you're feeling. KCCC on this board talks about how overeating is an attempt to self-nuture, and I think that's one of the most insightful things I've ever read.

If you're like me, and you've spent years shoving food in your face as a way to ignore things you don't want to think about, it's not surprising that, if you're under a lot of stress, your mind is naturally turning to that old standby, food, in a time of need. Can you try nurturing yourself in other ways? A hot bath? A nap? A special (non-food) treat? A planned respite, even if it's only half an hour, where you listen to music, light candles, or do whatever relaxes you?

Good luck with this. My No S has gone smoothly so far, but life has gone pretty smoothly since I've started. I've always wondered how I'll react when I hit one of life's inevitable bumpy stretches, but I suspect I'll be tempted to turn to food. I will be very interested to hear what helps you through this.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:28 am

I'm with Noel. The only thing you can do is to satisfy your cravings in a way that comports with No S. In other words, if you want pizza, have it. Have it three meals a day if you have to! You won't want it so much that you'll become malnourished.

The thing about No S that makes it doable is that you can please yourself with what you eat. If you start restricting beyond vanilla No S, you run the risk of developing "diet-head" like you do on all other diets.

You're probably also right that stress is making you seek comfort in food. Eat the pizza, but also do other things that make you feel better. Just generally be your own best friend and be nice to yourself. You'll respond by relaxing, knowing that your needs will be met.

buttercream

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:55 am

You could be right, in that some of the foods you're eating are not filling you up enough. I know I had that problem tonight with dinner. I had spaghetti made with thin noodles (so not whole grain), a four cheese sauce over it with meat and some mozerella cheese, and a small piece of ciabatta bread with some Smart Balance Lite spread. It fit very nicely onto my plate. I thought this dinner would fill me up, but I was still hungry about 30 minutes later, and I ate some things I shouldn't have (an apple filled croissant, some Fritos, and a small serving of pumpkin ice cream). Part of the problem was I was stressed about something else, so I did use the extra food to try to comfort myself. I also probably should have had a salad along with my dinner. I guess I should just mark it and move on.
Anyway, this is my roundabout way of saying I do understand how you feel.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:08 am

I'd get rid of the sugar free stuff, eat the pizza and sleep more. Stress does increase our desire for comfort and food is one of the things we associate with comfort. What else comforts you?

clarinetgal -- I don't think white pasta or white bread is a problem -- it's the same as the white rice. Salad or other vegetables probably would have been very helpful in taming the hunger.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:31 pm

Chiming in,

I don't think artificial sweetners are a problem.

There is research indicating that
the more one Restricts a substance, the more one Craves it.
My own obsession with food rises and falls,
depending on how much I refuse to allow myself
to eat any of a food I greatly desire,
and my emotional conditions.

marygrace · Post by **marygrace** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:27 pm

Starla wrote:One thing that strikes me is that you're bothered by how much you're thinking about food, not how much you're hungry for food. Maybe that means this isn't about hunger, but about the stress you're feeling. KCCC on this board talks about how overeating is an attempt to self-nuture, and I think that's one of the most insightful things I've ever read.

I agree with Starla. Is there something big happening in your life right now? When I moved from New Jersey to Texas a few months ago, I thought I was OK with it, but it turned out to be a lot more stressful and emotional than I'd anticipated. The idea of being so far away from everyone I cared about (except my husband, but he seemed to have an easier time with the move than me) was really hard to deal with, plus there were times when I felt incredibly lonely. I noticed then (and now sometimes, still) I start thinking about food a lot more than I used to, and sometimes my S days get a little ridiculous. I think it's just my mind's weird way of dealing with my feelings about the move, though, and as I continue getting more used to being here, they'll dissipate.

tarantinofan · Post by **tarantinofan** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:28 pm

Haha, yes it is that time of the month. It could simply be that, but it's still really frustrating.

To answer a few questions, yes there is something sort of big in my life right now (besides the time of the month). Midterms are happening and I've been pretty stressed about them. I have 3 next week and 1 this week. I am also having a stressful time with friends.

What else comforts me? Well, piano, acting, movies, and working out. I've been doing 3/4 but I haven't had time to do acting lately, so maybe that's leaving me unsatisfied.

I'm not physically hungry. I'm just emotionally hungry. I just want FOOD. I just want comfort, I guess, and it's really frustrating to feel like I need food to comfort me.

I guess I'll just try to have pizza when I want it rather than try to restrict. I've been trying to do other things that comfort me, but I think sleeping more will help me a lot as well as signing up for acting classes (I'm doing that Friday!).

By the way, Starla you're definitely right. It's not about physical hunger. I've been doing No S since July. I don't get hungry between meals any more (even though I have yet to reach 21 days in a row). But, it's the stress that's leading me to feel so empty and in feeling like I need food to comfort me.

I've tried nurturing myself in other ways, and I guess I'll try to treat myself a bit more daily rather than working so hard that I feel unsatisfied.

Thanks so much for the advice, I will definitely think about what everyone has said!

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:34 pm

Been there.

Are you eating enough? With additional exercise (you don't say what it is) are you just in too much of a calorie deficit, particularly for carbohydrate? Is this food craving post exercise?

I'm not in the camp that says that food with artificial sweeteners has a metabolic effect, lowers your blood glucose, etc. But I do think that if you taste sweet a lot, you crave sweet more. Just something to think about.

Gum just ramps up my salivary response and makes me hungrier.

If all else fails and you need to change something to stay sane for a month, do it. Eating one cookie with dinner is a violation of the rules per se, but it is not epic failure (in fact, someone here does it as a mod). Torturing yourself all day, then eating a box of cookies at 10:00 p.m... that's failure.

Need to add a fourth mini-meal for a few weeks?

The stress of not sleeping and midterms could also do it. You may have to adapt until that's past. But you *can* adapt without giving in completely.
If you do give in on Wednesday, oh well. Dust off and start again on Thursday. Don't let the quest for perfection defeat the performance of pretty damn good.

Ari W. wrote:Lately, I've become completely obsessed with food again. I don't know why that is, and it's really frustrating. For a little while, for maybe a month, I stopped thinking about food, stopped being hungry except for at meal times, and it was soooo freeing. However, lately I've become so obsessed with food again. I'm always thinking about when I can have my next cookie, and I end up giving in during the middle of the week because it's just too miserable to be thinking about sweets all the time.

PLEASE I'd lovvveee to hear your take on if this has happened to you, or why you think it's happening to me. I'm thinking about food all the time and it's a miserable existence to revert back to.

Maybe because I've been trying to ignore the craving for food like pizza? I've also begun exercising daily again, so could this contribute? Or, is it because I have too much fake sugar in diet coke, diet snapple, and sugar free gum? Also, I haven't been sleeping too much and have been really stressed from midterms. Could this cause my intense desire for emotional, comfort food?

It's so disheartening, and I just can't live like this. I'd love advice!

Thanks!!

Amyliz · Post by **Amyliz** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:28 pm

I'm not an expert, but I've been doing No-S for 1yr 7mo. and just in the past two month have almost completely stopped drinking Soda - and i'm loving it! I still drink crystal light, so I'm not advocating no sweetners, i just feel better and less hungry without the soda, give it a try!

I've lost a total of 10lbs on no-s and been maintaining since last april (which as bright angel has stated, takes A LOT of work too!)

I've moved onto a new goal to lose another 5lbs by 2010. to do this I'm steering away from cheese and meats in all of my meals and consume less alchohol per weekend. I go for my cravings for at least one meal a day, so all three meals are not craving driven. (if i went by cravings i would have a giant bagel for breakfast instead of a yogurt - thats a 300 cal. difference!)

In terms of food, my weekends are still free but I try to stick to less than 3 drinks.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:12 pm

Sounds like stress to me too. That time of the month doesn't help either, but I can usually get through that, but add stress to the mix and uh oh.

I know I try very hard to keep my meals reasonable and I consider pizza an S day meal item but maybe during these times it would be better for you to get a few extra calories from pizza or other foods you find your self obsessing about, rather than going nutty thinking about food all day and even failing on No S days because you snap.

I just find this whole dieting thing has more to do with emotions and mentality than it does with honest to goodness hunger. If I only ate when I was truly hungry I wouldn't be here. It's when we use food for comfort that we really to rethink things. And I know a lot of people find help in taking a walk, or calling a friend, or knitting, but I find the answer is still food - you just need to find a why of using food that works. So like I said maybe be a little more indulgent in the choices you put on your plate and then menatally you will be satisifed.

Good luck!

Everyday Systems

ADVICE WANTED!

ADVICE WANTED!

Re: ADVICE WANTED!