Anybody read Bob Greene's new book?

[gk]

I think it's called, "The Life you Want".

I've read that it's not a diet....just about dealing with emotional eating, getting motivated to exercise, etc.

I'm currently on a break from No-S. I was having so much difficulty sticking with the diet that I thought maybe if I took a break from rules, I'd chill out a little and not obsess about food so much.

Hmmm.....not a good decision for me, apparently. I've gained back all of my weight and if I don't stop, I'm sure I'll give myself a new starting weight.

I just have no control over my bingeing anymore! The more I think that I need to get a handle on it, the more I seem to EAT - you know....the kind of bingeing that you're not even tasting what you eat and don't even remember half of it.

I've heard more than once that you have to deal with WHY you're overeating first, before you can be successful on any diet. I am well aware of my triggers.....unfortunately, there's no "fix" in sight for me, so I've been trying to just figure out ways to deal with them, besides with food. However, I'd probably overeat if I was constantly happy, too. I guess I just enjoy food too much! (Hence, the 20 lbs. I need to lose, and counting!)

Anyway, I saw this book on-line and wondered if any of you out there have read it and think it's worth the $18.

Thanks so much! I appreciate any advice/opinions you may have!

Greta

[sbimka]

Have not read the book. But your message triggered some memories for me. I probably spent at least 10 years in therapy trying to understand why I binged and how to get 'control' over it. Understanding is important. I kept a diary which was very helpful in determining those triggers and what my feelings were. Writing was key for me. But also important was the doing - the changing of the behavior. I tried and failed I don't know how many times. But over time, my victories became greater than the failures. Talking in therapy only brought me so far....writing helped a lot...but the DOING was the great teacher. So keep plugging at how you want to be. You will fail or lapse but get back on board and keep on doing it...eventually it gets easier. Try not to beat your head over those failures (although you will) because its part of the process. Each time you get back to doing right is a victory. Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, loving yourself...these will all come into play and are part of getting there. EASE up on yourself. Get comfortable with the program. Staying with the program is more important than losing the weight. Learn to trust yourself.

[Blithe Morning]

Talking in therapy only brought me so far....writing helped a lot...but the DOING was the great teacher. So keep plugging at how you want to be. You will fail or lapse but get back on board and keep on doing it...eventually it gets easier. Try not to beat your head over those failures (although you will) because its part of the process. Each time you get back to doing right is a victory.

Wonderful post, sbimka. Reflection and practice are key to learning and behavior change.

[wosnes]

I've heard more than once that you have to deal with WHY you're overeating first, before you can be successful on any diet. I am well aware of my triggers.....unfortunately, there's no "fix" in sight for me, so I've been trying to just figure out ways to deal with them, besides with food. However, I'd probably overeat if I was constantly happy, too. I guess I just enjoy food too much! (Hence, the 20 lbs. I need to lose, and counting!)
Greta

I think you could spend years and years dealing with WHY you're bingeing and overeating -- and still be bingeing, overeating and gaining weight. I'm not saying that they "why" isn't important, but I think changing the behavior is more important -- and it may lead you to learn why you binge and overeat.

I'm not sure it's possible to enjoy food too much , but it's also possible to enjoy other things and treat yourself well by doing other things instead of eating when the triggers present themselves.

[gk]

Thanks for the replies. They really helped. It's nice to be able to talk with others who truly understand the struggles one can have with food. Will keep on trying....and I will probably get the book, too. (I've always been a sucker for self-help books. )

Greta

[BrightAngel]

I just have no control over my bingeing anymore! The more I think that I need to get a handle on it, the more I seem to EAT - you know....the kind of bingeing that you're not even tasting what you eat and don't even remember half of it.

I've heard more than once that you have to deal with WHY you're overeating first, before you can be successful on any diet. I am well aware of my triggers.....unfortunately, there's no "fix" in sight for me, so I've been trying to just figure out ways to deal with them, besides with food. However, I'd probably overeat if I was constantly happy, too. I guess I just enjoy food too much! (Hence, the 20 lbs. I need to lose, and counting!)

I appreciate any advice/opinions you may have!

Greta

Greta,
Your statement about knowing WHY before taking successful action,
is sort of like a person on the Titanic saying...
"I'm not going to get off this boat until I know WHY it's sinking."

There's nothing wrong with knowing the reasons behind things,
but Behavior = Action.
If one action doesn't work, then try another.
There are many options available to you
and each of them can work together with No S.

[wosnes]

Greta,
Your statement about knowing WHY before taking successful action,
is sort of like a person on the Titanic saying...
"I'm not going to get off this boat until I know WHY it's sinking."

There's nothing wrong with knowing the reasons behind things,
but Behavior = Action.
If one action doesn't work, then try another.
There are many options available to you
and each of them can work together with No S.

Great analogy!

I haven't read his new book and probably won't, but I did read Make the Connection and Keep the Connection. In terms of diet, I wasn't impressed. But he did deal with the emotional aspects of overeating in a way that made sense to me. But I've not read much about emotional eating.

[gk]

Your statement about knowing WHY before taking successful action,
is sort of like a person on the Titanic saying...
"I'm not going to get off this boat until I know WHY it's sinking."

There's nothing wrong with knowing the reasons behind things,
but Behavior = Action.
If one action doesn't work, then try another.
There are many options available to you
and each of them can work together with No S.

Never thought of it like that (liked the Titanic bit). Kind of reminds me that sometimes I need to quit analyzing the crap out of things and just do something. The whole concept of No S is simplicity, which can be extended into other areas of my life as well.

Thanks for your advice!

[Nicest of the Damned]

Kind of reminds me that sometimes I need to quit analyzing the crap out of things and just do something.

Sometimes you do have to do just that. There's a famous old Buddhist story about this:

It is as if a man had been wounded by an arrow thickly smeared with poison, and his friends, companions relatives were to get a surgeon to heal him, and he were to say, 'I will not have this arrow pulled out until I know who wounded me, of what caste he is, what his name is, whether he is tall, short or of medium height, what colour his skin is, where he comes from, what kind of bow I was wounded with, what it was made of, whether the arrow was feathered with a vulture's wing or a heron's or a hawk's..' Surely the man would die before he knew all this.

The Buddha's point here was basically what you just said, that sometimes you have to quit analyzing the crap out of a situation and take action. You see that this is not a new problem. This kind of thing was a problem for the Buddha's followers 2500 years ago.

I guess I just enjoy food too much!

One thing I learned on No S about eating is that a small amount of food can be almost as good to eat as a large amount. The first couple of bites of any food are usually the best. The trick is to make it so that it's not difficult for you to get a small amount of what you want to eat. You'll get at least 90% of the pleasure you'd get out of eating a large amount out of eating the small amount, with probably less than 90% of the calories.

[gk]

One thing I learned on No S about eating is that a small amount of food can be almost as good to eat as a large amount. The first couple of bites of any food are usually the best.

On my first round of No S in November, I made it 21 days vanilla style. That is one of the first things I noticed. I would have a few bites of something and vividly notice everything about it.....the texture, the smell, the taste....I would thoroughly enjoy it. I believe he said in his No S book, it's as if there is a "spotlight" on each meal, and it was so true!! I was very aware of every bite that went into my mouth and had never in my life completely enjoyed the food as much as I did then. And not because I was hungry, but because I was focusing on what I was eating and "experiencing it" versus just stuffing it in.

My goal is to get back to that way of living. I was so happy with my food habits that month. Guess I've proven to myself that I can do it. Now I just need to do it AGAIN.

Greta