Newbie here and scared as h3ll!

[Christine]

Howdy! This is my first day of No S and I actually got the link from a forum on a thinspo website (yep, although I'm older than these skinny waifs, the mindset hasn't resolved yet after all these years). No S intrigued me immediately. It's unbelievably the exact thing I need to get back to a normal eating habit. I'm scared of this and I'm even unhappy that I registered and posted here because for some reason it automatically seems as though that is going to set me up for defeat. Why? Because it's an admission that I'm hitting people up for encouragement, admonishment, whatever, which further hints at my possible failure at this. But I got the Kindle book last evening and after I weighed myself this morning, I knew I had to do something FAST. I lost about 65 lbs. four years ago with Medifast which I still swear by (and have gone back on a couple of times). I've had a hard time keeping the weight off this whole time. I've been calorie counting, writing down everything I eat in a daily diary, and most of the time, weighing myself every day. I'm definitely way overly obsessive about this now, and I'm a black-and-white kind of gal (or ones and zeros for you techies) so moderation doesn't even seem possible. Except it appears that it's the one and only thing that I need.

Now that I'm practically busting out of my jeans, I absolutely have to try something to modify my *behavior* first, then worry about the actual eating mechanism later. Well -- I've known this all along, but I've only been treating the symptom and not the disease. So I'm extremely scared of doing this because 1) I don't want to stay at 150 lbs. since I did get down to 132 one lucky day last summer and 2) definitely don't want to gain any more.

So if you never hear from me again, you'll know why: I've crashed and burned ridiculously fast or have to tighten up my OCD behavior before something happens like I get fired for doing this at work. Who knows.

Anyway, wish me luck. This just seems too easy to be true, because it's too much common sense for even me to handle.

[~reneew]

Welcome! Give it an honest 21 days and you'll see how relaxingly sane it is! I've calorie counted many times, and lost that many times, but it was insane. I am not a calorie accountant! I refuse to do that forever. I don't think it's healthy to obsess about every darn thing that goes in, let alone every ingredient that went into that. I count plates now. If you actually DO it, it gets easier and easier. I get tons of encouragement every time I come on.

[NoSRocks]

Hi and Welcome to No S, Christine!

I'm with Renee - and as a long timer myself I would definitely say give it some time - the 21 day habit is a good one to try and what got me started on the No S Plan permanently. I still have my ups and downs - not to discourage you because a lot of people have done great on this plan. I am so grateful to this plan for the sanity it brings me around food, esp on my N Days!

Good luck

[Selina]

This just seems too easy to be true, because it's too much common sense for even me to handle.

Yes, it sounds easy. But don't mistake simple for easy! For me it has been very hard at times - and it still is. Because when food just becomes food again you have to deal with the stuff that this ''obsession'' really is about.

I just wanted to wish you the best and let you know that I also am scared as shit! I come from those great thinspiration sites too and know how life-absorbing they can be.. Here is to sanity! You really won't regret trying this.
Cheers!

[carpediem]

You're not 'setting yourself up for defeat" by posting, Christine. You're tapping into a wealth of genuine support and empathy from a whole 'herd' of us who are on the same journey! There is no admission you can make and no emotion you can express that is not shared by many many others on this site. Don't set yourself up for failure but take it one day at a time. I agree that a 21 day challenge is a good idea. Tomorrow is the end of my 21 day 'orientation'. It has been a great learning experience and I am 100% convinced that this is not only the right diet for me, but probably the only diet that will work. Welcome to the family!!

[Christine]

'Morning y'all, thank you so much for the warm welcome and encouragement

Well I made it through my first day (yesterday). I ate a small chicken breast, lots of peas, some brown rice, and a bit of gravy for dinner last night. It was really tasty but I was still hungry afterward and somewhat scared to realize, "OK, that's it for tonight, no more!" But I did it and now there's only 20 1/2 days to go.

The weekends are the hardest for me and now that I've thought about it a bit, it seems that I have already been doing the S-days and "sort of" N-days already (N-days have consisted of "healthy" snacks but no sweets or seconds--when I'm "good" that is). Without much improvement, I might add. I have been counting calories, for the most part, religiously every day, and by the time the weekend comes, I don't mind falling off the wagon. Which undoes all the work I'd done during the week. So how do I do the No S properly if I'm gonna "not" follow the rules on the S-days? Do I not do S-days during the 21-day orientation?

It's now 9:30 am and my breakfast has worn off. HUNGRY!!! It's got me wondering, how did I ever eat properly before the obsession took over my life? i.e. three squares a day?

Background: When I was about 9-10 (maybe?), I sent away for this stupid booklet from the back of the cereal box, which described different figure shapes and how to dress for them. Somehow I was concerned about how I was shaped, even when I didn't have a shape! In middle school, I decided I wanted to be a model. When my parents took me to the agency, they dismissed me saying my legs were too thick. I took that to mean FAT where it really means I simply have muscular legs. So there it began. Mind you, I'm 5'6" tall, and I weighed about 125 up until having my first child. So you see I was not fat at all, but I had a distorted view of myself--and still do. </ramble>

I'm telling myself mentally, IT'S NOT LUNCHTIME YET! That seems to help. A little. Note to self: Don't obsess about this.

SW 26Apr12 = 150.6 > Today = 148.0 > GW 130

[~reneew]

Stick to it and your body will get used to it and be fine until the next meal. I suggest incorporating the "(sometimes)" that Reinhard says into the rules. Treat S days just like N days but with some treats. Everyone says not to worry about it at first, to just get through the N days and the S days will become more normal as habit takes over. I for one still have problems with that so I'm now trying to watch those S's on S days. Be forgiving to yourself. Gain the N day habit first.

[milliem]

Welcome Christine I think one of the things that sticks out about NoS is how moderate and sane it is. Not to say that all other diets are insane, just that NoS really encourages a healthy and positive outlook to eating rather than letting our insecurities and attitudes about perfection, failure or obsession with numbers get in the way of being healthy!

One of the other great things is that NoS begins with maintenance - you never have to drastically change your habits once you have lost any weight, you just keep going!

S days are a massive part of this eating plan - you are deliberately allowing a sort of 'steam valve' for following the N day rules for 5 days. S days are part of the 21 day challenge - so if you have 5 successful N days followed by 2 S days, that counts as 7 days towards the 21. What a lot of people find is that over time the amount they eat on S days reduces. It's also good to remember that it's 'except sometimes on days that begin with S'. I wouldn't worry too much about S days for now though, focus on those N day habits first and foremost

[Too solid flesh]

Welcome, Christine!

If you haven't already looked at it, you might like to read KCCC's thread Phases of NoS (as I see them), which contains lots of good advice:

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6437

Very best wishes and good luck.

[oolala53]

You have really got to let go of the scale for awhile. You are actually not even overweight! I know you weighed less for a long time and you can probably get back there (or close) but you've got to heal first. To heal means you've got to convince your subconscious that you are not going to punish her anymore, mentally or physically. For ANY reason, not just food reasons. You are going to be encouragingly tough on (not mean to) yourself BEFORE you break a rule and gentle on yourself afterwards. You've been doing it the other way around and it hasn't worked, right?

Believe me, when you let up on yourself, you are going to start seeing yourself as being more acceptable and counterintuitively, it is going to give you the strength to eat better and move more. You are going to start feeling sorry for people who can't accept themselves without perfection. But you are going to do more good things for yourself with less resistance. Because it's easier to cooperate with someone whom we think likes us and approves of us!

I don't think this will happen in three weeks, though. Give yourself a year. Seriously. The time is going to pass anyway. And what will you do instead? Go on a diet and be fatter two years from now like the other 97% who go on a diet? Or find a way to live permanently sane with food?

If you are really OCD, I can let you know how I used and use some anti-OCD techniques to help me be compliant.

[oolala53]

Oh, why did you eat such a small dinner and then go hungry? You are not on a diet! And even if you eat more to start, it is easier to eat less as you go than the other way around. Give the plan a chance!

and go this site and promise that if you find out that you are in the 50%ile or less, you will give up on the scale for three months.

http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm

And do NOT go to the page with "ideal" weight. It is more brutal and just shows people's stupid expectations molded by the media.

[sarahkay]

Keep it up! I find that three meals will NOT last me if I don't have something in them to tide me over... yes, fiber and fruits/veggies are supposed to do that... but I find they do not. Yes you should eat those things they are good for you, but you need fat. As my mother says, "you have to grease your wheels once in a while". Not that you should eat Big Macs every day, but definitely eat something with some substance. In terms of calories, if you were eating 1500 a day which is very reasonable for most people, you will be eating 500 at every meal! eat healthy, but don't let health nuts make you think you should be full because you ate broccoli. you need some extra calories in your meals if you're only having three of them versus 4-6, if that makes sense.

just a little something i thought helped when i tried no s a couple years ago.

[oolala53]

I, too, find that if I don't have a serving of walnuts, cheese, avocado, or some other good quality fat along with my protein, starch and veggies, I really feel the difference a few hours later, though not at the meal.

[Christine]

Hi all,

Well I did have a couple of no-kiddin' S-days this weekend; it pretty much felt like what I said earlier... as in, no holds barred on the weekends which has been undoing whatever progress I'd gained during the week. But I'm doing OK, yesterday and today so far, and Oolala53, you're right about being kind to myself. I am one of these all-or-nothing kind of gals and I feel like I'm just following the strictness guidelines, but not being harsh on myself. At least that's how my mind reads it. That's what I like about the No S Diet. It is simple (right, not easy!) and I think I will do better during the meals when I get the hang of it. For instance, I read "ONE PLATE" but, what if you have different stuff that technically does not go on a plate? Like yesterday at lunch, I had a bowl of split pea soup, then some cottage cheese with pineapple bits mixed in. I mean, that's different stuff in more than one container, but you're supposed to eat a few different types of foods at a meal, right? Is that following the rules or am I not understanding this right? To me that was one meal, even though technically it was in two containers.

Also, I've yet to get the hang of the amount of food on my plate so I don't get so unbelievably hungry between meals. I promise, I'm not doing it on purpose, it's just my learning about proper portion sizes! I'm sure it'll take a while, talk about unlearning crappy habits--wow!!!

Oh, and I am in the 18th percentile according to that BMI calculator you posted, Oolala53. Interesting! Well I haven't weighed myself since Sunday morning, does that count?

Yes, I did read the "Phases of NoS" post before, that was interesting. Problem with me is, I'll start spending all my time on these boards and getting obsessive with every little detail. Yep, I could use some anti-OCD techniques. Ya think???

SW 150 26Apr12 > PW 145 29Apr12 > GW 130

[rungirl96]

I wrote a long reply to your post Christine, and somehow zapped it. Gone!

You sound so much like me! I'm new too, started April 6, and was doing great until yesterday (had my first "red" day thanks to hormones). But I'm not giving up. This is the best plan I've found and I know it's manageable and maintainable, unlike other diets I've done.

I'm having the same frustration with weekends, feeling like I'm undoing, or breaking even for the good I do all week. I'm trying to just be patient and keep listening to all the great advice on this site. I still have to break that calorie counting habit. And the weighing one too.

[oolala53]

You're in the 18 %ile? Just how many people do you need to be thinner than? Seriously, think about it. What percentile will you be in at 132? Maybe the reason you were struggling to keep the weight off is that you aren't meant to without being in semi-starvation.

Don't mean to be mean but understand that you are talking about vanity weight now. There is no health benefit to your losing weight. and there is NO benefit to hanging it over your head.

I still think No S is a great way to live.

[Christine]

Hi,

Yep, you're right oolala53, it is vanity weight, I'll admit. It's just that I'd lost the weight and have all my clothes a certain size, and don't want to buy the next size up. That's a powerful motivator for me. That's always what happened before, I'd start to gain the weight back, get bigger clothes, and poof, before you know it, I'm back into plus-sizes. So I vowed "never" to buy a bigger size, and so far it's worked. Until recently that is! And honestly, it's not so much that I can't stay at a certain weight IF I eat properly (and I do mean healthily!), it's definitely a case of bingeing when I shouldn't. And trust me, I'm not making excuses for myself--if I were eating the No S way, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have binged (and gained). But I didn't know about No S until just a few days ago. Ha that's funny! Not like I didn't grow up eating that way naturally! But you get my drift!

Rungirl96, I actually had my first "red" day yesterday, sort of. I had a couple of glasses of wine before dinner was actually ready; but I'm not stressed about it. Everything else yesterday was definitely green! We went grocery shopping yesterday and I sooo wanted to buy some ice cream, but I actually remembered, oh yeah, I can have some this weekend. The idea that WE DO NOT NEED SWEETS really has to sink in.

So for dinner last night I had a chicken pot pie from the deli at the store. Now I did peek at the calories, and it was about 1200! But I didn't let that stop me because -- it was one plate -- and I am trying NOT to check calories. I think that if I hadn't gone through this endless torture of a somewhat ED most of my life, I would have chosen the pot pie and not thought twice about it. That's the point that I'm trying to get to.

[wosnes]

Hi,

Yep, you're right oolala53, it is vanity weight, I'll admit. It's just that I'd lost the weight and have all my clothes a certain size, and don't want to buy the next size up. That's a powerful motivator for me. That's always what happened before, I'd start to gain the weight back, get bigger clothes, and poof, before you know it, I'm back into plus-sizes. So I vowed "never" to buy a bigger size, and so far it's worked. Until recently that is! And honestly, it's not so much that I can't stay at a certain weight IF I eat properly (and I do mean healthily!), it's definitely a case of bingeing when I shouldn't. And trust me, I'm not making excuses for myself--if I were eating the No S way, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have binged (and gained). But I didn't know about No S until just a few days ago. Ha that's funny! Not like I didn't grow up eating that way naturally! But you get my drift!

Rungirl96, I actually had my first "red" day yesterday, sort of. I had a couple of glasses of wine before dinner was actually ready; but I'm not stressed about it. Everything else yesterday was definitely green! We went grocery shopping yesterday and I sooo wanted to buy some ice cream, but I actually remembered, oh yeah, I can have some this weekend. The idea that WE DO NOT NEED SWEETS really has to sink in.

So for dinner last night I had a chicken pot pie from the deli at the store. Now I did peek at the calories, and it was about 1200! But I didn't let that stop me because -- it was one plate -- and I am trying NOT to check calories. I think that if I hadn't gone through this endless torture of a somewhat ED most of my life, I would have chosen the pot pie and not thought twice about it. That's the point that I'm trying to get to.

I don't think that two glasses of wine before dinner makes it a red day. That's a totally different thing than eating between meals.

As for the chicken pot pie -- as an old (slim!) friend of mine says, it's not what you do now and then that matters. It's what you do day in and day out that matters. So the occasional calorie-dense meal isn't a big deal.

[wosnes]

This just seems too easy to be true, because it's too much common sense for even me to handle.

Remember that No-S, or some variation, is not only the way we all ate until about 30 years ago, it's also the way that most people around the world have eaten for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

Keep it up! I find that three meals will NOT last me if I don't have something in them to tide me over... yes, fiber and fruits/veggies are supposed to do that... but I find they do not.

One way not to feel hunger between meals, at least very little until it's time for the next meal, is to eat well at each meal. So, it's the grains/starches, vegetables and fruit, protein and fat. You do want to be hungry by the next meal, though.